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Counsellor at large

7 - Confusion at the Clinic

by Penny Lane


A day of contrasts for Marion: a stressed visit to the Clinic is balanced by a relaxing walk in the park with Josie and Gretta.


Disclaimer: The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2010 Penny Lane. All rights reserved.


The pain woke Marion abruptly in the morning. She tried to raise her body, but it was too much. That's what I get for running so far after such a break.

"Belle! Wake up, please!"

"Huh? What? Uh, Marion, what time is it?"

Belle opened bleary eyes and saw Marion's agonised expression in the dawn light. This provided enough impetus to rouse her fully from sleep.

"What's the matter, love? You look awful."

"My legs, I think they've cramped up," Marion replied through gritted teeth. "I think I ran too far yesterday."

Belle raised herself onto one elbow and pushed back the quilt. "Let me have a look."

She leaned down and ran her hands over Marion's calves, feeling the tight muscles.

"Yep, they're tight. I should be able to bring some life back to them, though. Any pain anywhere else?"

"The small of my back feels different, I'm not surprised after yesterday. I had to run in a posture I've never used before. My upper leg muscles, front and rear, are sore. And my Achilles tendons are tight, but that's probably from the calves, isn't it?"

Belle swung her legs out of the bed and stood up, heading for the bathroom.

"Roll onto your front, love, I'm just going to get some body lotion to use on you. If this goes on I'm going to have to get some proper oils."

With careful pressure and thorough kneading, Belle managed to relax the knotted muscles causing Marion's pains, and by the time Marion was satisfied that she could function in an almost-normal fashion it was time to get dressed.

"Dress much like yesterday?" Marion asked.

"I suppose so," came the reply. "We don't know what to expect, so we'd better dress in easy-to-remove clothing."

"That's what I thought," Marion said, "But I think I'll wear a skirt today. Trousers are all right occasionally, but I'm so used to skirts now that trousers felt odd. Funny, isn't it, after so many years wearing nothing else."

"Maybe. If you had to wear them all the time, I expect you'd adapt back quickly enough. It's just what you get used to."

They left the apartment in plenty of time, since neither had previously visited the place where they were going. It transpired that a tram route went right past the campus which contained the District Medical Facility, so they joined the queue of morning workers and followed them onto the next vehicle.

The campus contained three large linked blocks plus a number of smaller one and two-storey buildings scattered around the grounds. It was necessary to pass a security post to enter the fenced facility, and Marion wondered how emergency cases were handled. They got through without problem and then headed for one of the large site maps scattered about the area.

"Looks like we need to go to this building here," Belle tapped a rectangle on the map, located as far away as possible from their current position as it could be and still be on the campus. "We'll know, if there's a next time, to stay on the tram and get off closer."

They walked through the grounds and eventually came to a building which was signed, amongst other things, 'Fertility Clinic Two'. Inside, there were a number of people at the reception desk, and when their turn came they were directed upstairs to another reception area. Here they presented their cards and were asked to be seated and wait. The other people in the waiting area were a complete mixture, single men and women, young and older couples. They were the only pair of women present, but nobody appeared to be too interested in the fact. Finally they were called and directed along a carpeted corridor to a consulting room. When they entered, an older woman rose from her chair to welcome them.

"Service, citizens, please come in, seat yourselves." But she looked surprised. "I am Senior Consultant Katrina Malenski. I have here a message from my old friend Doctor Caparelli, asking me to have a look at your problem." She offered her hand, and Belle and Marion both shook it before making themselves comfortable. "One moment," she added, "I only recently received the message and I want to make sure I understand your circumstances." She turned from them to her terminal and they watched while she skimmed through the message Sophia had sent before turning back to them.

"Ah, if I understand this correctly, you wish to verify your fertility before applying for artificial insemination by donor, is that correct?"

"Donor!" exclaimed Belle. "Most certainly not. We wish to verify the fertility of my partner before she inseminates me."

Malenski was taken aback. "Ah, I'm sorry, citizens, perhaps I am talking to the wrong couple. Are you," she checked her terminal, "Belle Marchand and Marion Hillier?"

"That's correct, citizen," Marion spoke for the first time. "Sophia, Doctor Caparelli that is, is my immediate superior."

"There seems to be some mistake, I was expecting a man and a woman from the way that this message reads."

"Well, I was a man previously," Marion explained, "and parts of me still are. I was turned into a woman by means of regression therapy, and I think Sophia wants you to find out if I'm still viable."

"If you've had regression therapy," Malenski said, "then you're sterile. There can be no doubt about it, no doubt at all."

"Sophia - my superior - said that the semen sample I gave her contained active sperm," Marion said. I don't think she would have sent us to you if there hadn't been a chance."

"Active sperm? I'm thoroughly confused now," Malenski said. "You say you were previously a man. Perhaps it would help if you told me how you came to be in your present state."

Marion sighed. How many more times would she have to tell her story?

"Part of what I am about to tell you cannot be repeated to anyone else, as it's under court seal for reasons which will become apparent," Marion warned. "S-, Doctor Caparelli knows the whole story, so you can ask her for more details if you require them." Malenski nodded.

"Due to a series of mix-ups I was convicted in error of an offence I didn't commit. Since the Justiciar presiding thought that I was a woman masquerading as a man, I was sent to Female Offender Containment Facility Five, which is where Doctor Caparelli works. Part of the sentence was for me to be subject to regression therapy. I was there six months before anybody discovered the error and I was then released."

"Convicted in error?" Malenski echoed. "The State does not make mistakes. Especially like that."

"With respect, doctor, you have no idea," Marion said. "That's why the whole sorry tale is under seal. To continue, over the six months my body has been changed from male to what you see before you. It's now been eight weeks since I was released, and for most of those I have been impotent - in the male sense, that is. It was only last week that I was again able to use my male parts as nature intended."

"You still have male genitals? Even after six months? The therapy was not allowed to complete, then? Even so, I would have thought that you would have regained your original vagina after six months, even if the internals weren't fully restructured."

"Original vagina? I didn't have a vagina, that's the whole point. I was a male before."

"Yes, I understand that," said Malenski patiently. "But to be sentenced to regression therapy must mean that you had been through gender reassignment therapy beforehand, to make you male. Which means that you must have been female to start with."

Belle decided to take a hand, as the consultant was looking more and more confused.

"Citizen, there appears to be some misunderstanding here. Marion was born a male. He lived the first thirty years of his life as a male. He - or she - has never had reassignment therapy of any description. The regression therapy was a mistake, given in the belief that she was a woman who had transitioned, whereas in fact that had never happened."

Malenski stared at the pair in shock, as the full consequences of what had happened finally sunk in.

"Oh, my."

"Indeed, doctor," said Marion. "That's another reason that the details have to be kept quiet. The case was reported at the time of my exoneration, though, I wonder if you saw the reports?"

"When would that have been, can you remember?"

"About eight, nine weeks ago, I guess."

"There was a story... I think I dismissed it as typical garbled reporting." She leaned forward. "Are you telling me that was you, and the reporting was true?"

"I can't answer for that, or the accuracy of the reporting," Marion said, "but probably yes."

Malenski became lost in thought as she worked her way through the medical implications.

"Citizens, my sincerest apologies for the confusion," she said eventually. "Ah, let's see if I've finally got this right, then. You are Marion Hillier, and you were originally born male?"

"Correct, doctor. I was named Marlon previously."

"Now without considering the exact circumstances, you have undergone a course of regression therapy, without having previously undergone gender reassignment therapy?"

"That's correct, doctor. For six months. Drugs, and of course hormones."

"I was coming to that. I assume from your appearance that the hormone treatment is what makes you look as you do now. Do you know?"

"Yes, doctor, it is. That's why I've still got a penis and testicles, even though the activity of them was suppressed until recently."

Malenski nodded. "Of course. I assume that the regression drugs failed because they couldn't turn you back into something you already were, genetically speaking, of course, which is why you don't have a fully female body."

"That's the way Sophia explained it to us," Marion said.

"I can't think of a single previous case where this has happened," Malenski remarked. "Although I'm sure I can turn up one if I spend enough time going through the literature." She nodded again. "I begin to see the whole picture, now. Did you mention semen before?"

"Yes, doctor. When I was released, all my drug treatments stopped, although neither Sophia nor I realised this. So, over the last few weeks, certain masculine attributes have begun reappearing." Marion ran a finger over her top lip. "We noticed this first. Then I discovered that I could get an erection, and we wondered whether it was possible I could still be fertile. I did a sample for Sophia, and here we are."

Malenski leaned back in her seat, considering.

"So, from the point of view of you two as partners - I assume that you are partners?" They both nodded. "I should view your processing here as just a heterosexual couple, here to receive a fertility evaluation, is that correct?"

"Yes, doctor," Marion confirmed. "But there's another aspect, which is that I will need to receive hormones to keep me in my present state. Sophia was unwilling to prescribe for me until you examined me and determined what my condition is, and possibly suggested treatments as well."

"Oh. Yes, I see. What are you, exactly? Male, female?"

"Genetically male, physically shemale, socially female, legally male. And that's the way I'd like to keep it, if possible. If it isn't possible, then some kind of transition towards female would be preferred."

Malenski looked at Marion sharply. "You do realise that, since you've had the regression therapy, any transition you undergo will likely require surgery?"

"Yes, we're fully aware of that, doctor."

"And you, citizen," Malenski turned her attention to Belle. "I would assume that you are a regular female? If so, we can do the standard tests on yourself with no great difficulties."

"I am," Belle confirmed. "But... there is a consideration which you need to know about, before you do much more." She opened her bag, pulled out her card and offered it to Malenski.

Malenski raised an eyebrow, accepted the card and slotted it into her terminal, calling up Belle's ID details. Her other eyebrow joined it's fellow.

"Ah. I understand, citizen. I'll adjust the security level on your records as appropriate." She turned to Marion. "And you, citizen." She removed Belle's card and held it out to her to take back. "I'll need your card as well. It looks like most of this examination will be secured for both of you, given the circumstances."

With the facility's records set up and linked to Marion and Belle's profiles, they were asked to return to the waiting area at reception. After a short wait Belle was called and led off to an examination room by a nurse. A little while later, another nurse fetched Marion and led her to another room which contained a familiar chair.

"I just need to do a simple physical examination, citizen," the nurse said. "Can you pull down your tights and lift your skirt, please?"

Marion hung up her jacket and bag, pulled down her tights and panty to her ankles and raised her skirt before sitting in the chair. It was strange, the chair had no straps, but then the patients who would be sitting here would be willing enough, unlike those at the facility. The nurse, who had obviously seen such sights before, made a close physical examination looking for visible defects. Once she had finished she took a good sample of Marion's blood.

Marion dressed again and the nurse conducted her to an area where a body scanner was housed. Marion had to strip off and put on a simple hospital one-piece in a changing room before being led into the scanner room. This machine also looked familiar. Once again she was strapped in face down before the table slid into the machine. Only the central part of her body was scanned this time before she was removed and allowed to dress again.

"You've done this before," the nurse remarked.

"Yes, not so long ago. It's a complicated story."

"That's all right. We get some people who come here and panic the first time. They don't like being strapped down and sucked into the machine."

"Do you blame them? So, where to next?"

"I'm finished with you for the time being, citizen, but you're not finished, quite." She looked at her datapad. "Ah. You need to go downstairs, to Reception Point Three. Can you come back to the main reception up here when you're finished? You'll be about half an hour, maybe less."

"I think so. Thank you, nurse. Which way do I go?"

"Down there, through the double doors at the end and you'll find the staircase. You'll see signs when you get downstairs."

Marion followed the signs and eventually found the reception point. Behind the desk was a young woman who, although she was wearing a nurse's uniform, was quite attractive and heavily made up. Looking around Marion noticed a row of chairs with eight or nine men of different ages all trying not to look at one another.

"Citizen, I've been asked to report here."

"Ah, I think you've come to the wrong place, citizen." The nurse lowered her voice. "This isn't an area where women come, if you take my meaning."

"Then this is the right place," Marion said, having now recognised where she was, and what this department did. She pulled out her card and handed it over. The nurse accepted it hesitantly, and then slotted it into the reader, whereupon she turned a flaming red with embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, citizen, I didn't realise!" she said very quietly. "Ah, I didn't know. Would you mind taking a seat, I'll try and get you processed as soon as I can."

Marion took a seat as far away from the men as she could. All of them gave her furtive glances before turning away. She could hazard a guess as to what was going through their minds as they sat in the waiting area for the Sperm Bank.

Another nurse appeared from the corridor, also heavily made-up and looking like a model, and she did a double-take when she saw Marion sitting in the waiting area. She referred to a datapad and called a name, and one of the men got up and joined her, and they disappeared along the corridor. Shortly she reappeared and went to the reception desk where she had a long, quiet talk with the receptionist.

Why the war-paint? Oh, of course, to help the men get 'in the mood', so to speak.

The nurse turned and called to Marion. "Citizen Hillier? I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. If you would come with me."

Marion stood and walked over to the nurse, all the men now looking at the pair with undisguised curiosity although each was trying hard not to show the fact.

"This way," the nurse said as she led Marion along the corridor. "We'll do you now to avoid any further embarrassment. This won't take too long. Do you think that you'll require any aids? We have rooms with equipment, costumes, videos, if you think that will be necessary."

"Thank you, citizen, no, I'll manage," Marion replied.

The nurse opened a door and ushered Marion in to a small room about the size of her office. At one side was a single bed occupying almost the full length of the room. On the other, an armchair, a washbasin, a paper towel dispenser and a waste bin. Marion couldn't remember the last time she'd seen paper towels. At the far end, a shelf or table screwed to the wall with a hatch above it, and an upright chair in front of the table.

"I'm sorry, citizen, the room's not exactly inviting," the nurse said. "The men don't seem to mind, though, and they're only in here for a few minutes, usually. I hope it won't put you off."

Interesting, Marion thought. Even though she knows what I am, and she knows why I'm here, she's treating me as a woman.

The nurse closed the door and moved to the far end, opening the hatch. "This is what you put your sample in," she explained, holding up a specimen bottle similar to the one Marion had used before, but in a sterile pack. "You should wash your hands thoroughly first, and the area round your genitals. Keep the sample container in the pack until you need it, that way we ensure that no foreign substances get into the sample. When you've finished, put the sample in the hatch," Marion could now see that there was a door on either side, "shut the door and press the button here to let someone know your sample is ready for collection. Then you can clean yourself up again if you need to. If you need inspiration, there's a terminal on the wall behind the door, there's the remote for it. The door won't open unless you open it, take as long as you need. Oh, I need you to put your card in the reader on the table, that will link your ID to the sample container."

"Thank you, nurse, I understand."

The nurse gave Marion a smile and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Marion looked at the pack, and then considered how to proceed. She removed her jacket, skirt and top to ensure they stayed clean and unwrinkled, and then washed her hands. Second thoughts saw her removing her tights and panty and placing them tidily at the foot of the bed with her other clothes before she carefully washed around her penis and scrotum, drying them with paper towels.

What do I do now? And why am I finding this so difficult? It's not as if I don't know how to proceed, I've done it enough times before. She tried stimulating herself while standing, but the posture caused her legs to react with pain, and she had to stop abruptly. My muscles still remember the running. Lie down on the bed, then.

Marion knew that much of the process of masturbation occurred in the mind, but whatever she tried to think of made very little impact towards the intended result. Yes, an erection came, but she couldn't get much further at all, all she achieved was a sore penis and aching hands while getting hot and sticky from the effort. Finally she was forced to stop, her frustration resulting in tears that ran down either side of her face as she lay on the bed.

I can't do this any more. More like, I don't want to do this any more. I'm just not as interested in having this kind of bodily response as I was, as I now know better. She started weeping quietly, her emotions thoroughly in charge. Marlon was making a comeback, but I'm not Marlon any longer. I don't know what I am, but I'm not that.

Finally she stood and wiped her face with a paper towel. There was a mirror over the washbasin, and her face looked terrible. Before she left she would have to do some emergency repair work, she couldn't appear in front of all those men looking like that.

Do I want to be a complete woman? Even if it involves surgery? I don't know. I work with a thousand women, does it matter that I'm not entirely like them? It certainly doesn't matter to Belle, nor to most of my friends. Why am I here, then? Why am I trying to force myself to do something I don't really want to do any more?

She stared at her reflection, trying to understand how she'd ended up in this room, this cold, unfeeling place.

Because it's for Belle. If we want children, of our own, Belle will have to bear them, and my body will have to provide sperm for them. That's why I'm here, so that Belle and I can have children together. I'm doing this for her.

Understanding came, and she lay back on the bed with renewed purpose. Closing her eyes she thought of her partner, how Belle had helped her through the first days after her release, how their relationship had got rapidly closer till there was no doubt that they were intended for each other. She thought how they had so much enjoyed one another's company, how Belle had shown her the magic that was hidden inside her mongrel body, how that first time she had been able to penetrate Belle everything had changed -

She grabbed for the sample container.

Marion walked slowly back to the reception desk. She'd taken her time, cleaning herself again and attempting to fix her face using the cosmetics she had learned to carry in her bag. The reception nurse looked up and her expression changed.

"Citizen!" she said, her voice quiet but concerned. "You had some trouble?"

Marion nodded weakly, drained after her near-failure.

"Wait here a minute," the nurse instructed. Shortly the other nurse reappeared from the corridor, after presumably conducting another man to another room.

"Julie," the receptionist said quietly as she approached the desk. "Take this citizen down to the staff room and look after her, will you?"

The nurse took one look at Marion's face and grabbed an arm. "Come on, what you need is a cup of tea."

Marion was taken gently but firmly along another corridor to a corner room where several comfy chairs were grouped round a low table, with tea making apparatus on a sideboard.

"What happened?" Julie asked as she filled the kettle and switched it on. "I'm sorry, citizen, you look as though you had a hard time. Are you not fully functional, then?"

Marion gulped through the fresh tears. "No, I managed a sample, eventually," she said, "but I don't know whether I want to go through that again."

"Do you feel like talking about it? I mean, I'm not sure I'd ask any man if they wanted to talk about it, but then, you're obviously not a man, are you? If you tell me anything, it stays in this room, okay? I'm Julie, by the way."

"Service, Julie, I'm Marion. I was a man, once, but I was forced to undergo regression therapy against my will." Julie's eyes were round. Marion waved a dismissive hand. "Don't worry about that side of it, it's over and done with and what's important is that I'm here now as you see me. I haven't been able to function as a male for months, up until recently. I have a female partner, and when the activity came back we came here to see if there was any chance I might be fertile - as a male, that is."

"Oh, I see. You want to put something by in case you can't do it in the future," Julie said as she found two cups. "Looking at you, you consider yourself to be female now, then?"

"I don't know what I am," said Marion miserably. "I thought I was going to be a woman, but all this business with male genitals has confused me. But, I don't think I'm really male any more. I don't know what I am."

"You're a Citizen of the State," June said positively. "A unique individual. Most of us are pretty mundane, but occasionally some of us can be pretty special, and you're one of those. To my eyes, you're making a good stab at being a woman, and you behave like one, too. The fact you have extra bits I don't have and I have bits you don't doesn't make any difference, in my opinion. You're a woman in my book." She poured water over the teabags. "You said that you'd recently been able to, you know."

"Yes," Marion said. "When they let me out the therapy was stopped, so I stopped getting the female hormones. I've only been able to perform for a few days. I'm hoping the consultants here can put me back on hormones, I don't really want to go back to being male."

"Milk, sugar, lemon? There you go. I can't imagine why you'd want to go back, but you've been there, I haven't, you'd know better than I. So, have you got a job? I know it can be difficult if you've got some kind of abnormality." She waved her free hand. "No, I mean what normal folk think of as an abnormality. You wouldn't believe the variations we see come through this clinic."

"I think I would. I now work in the containment facility where I was held, as it happens, and my boss is the Medical Director. She and I have become amateur experts at the gender business."

"Yes, I would think that you would have, especially if it's something neither of you have come across before. Now look, I want you to sit here for a few minutes and just relax and drink your tea, while I go off and process a few more of today's selection of studs." Julie shrugged. "Oh, they're not all like that, of course, some are like yourself, wanting to find out if everything functions as it's supposed to." She smiled. "I'll be back soon, I don't want my tea to go cold."

She stood and left, closing the door behind her. Marion sipped her tea, thinking back over what she had just endured. It worked before, didn't it, because Belle was there and you were trying something out together. Perhaps that's the way it's going to be in the future, I'm truly part of a team with her now. But, my whole mental state of mind was different, round the corner in that soulless room. I don't need that kind of thing any more. Of course not! Now I have Belle, and she stimulates me physically, mentally and emotionally in ways I could never do myself. A stray thought came. I may have to come again, if they need more. Well, we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it.

Julie reappeared as Marion drained her cup, carrying a bulging make-up bag with her.

"I borrowed Alice's make-up, because I think you're nearer her colours than you are mine," she explained. "Come and sit by the window and I'll fix up your face for you before you go."

"I can't thank you enough, Julie," Marion said gratefully, "You've been most kind to a complete stranger." She moved to another chair where the daylight caught her face better, and Julie opened the bag and began. She cleaned away some of Marion's inexpertly-applied repairs and carefully blended in new foundation, powder, mascara and eye-liner. Marion's own lipstick finished the process.

"There," Julie said. "Now you look like a member of society rather than an extra in Zombie Apocalypse." She grinned. "We're not strangers, are we? Just women who hadn't met before. Now let's go and give those men another floor show."

They walked back down the corridor to the reception, and Marion thanked the two nurses again before heading for the stairs. When she reached the upstairs waiting area she found a twitchy Belle who had been wondering what was keeping Marion.

"Did you have some difficulty, love? And what on earth has happened to your face?" she asked in a low voice.

"Please don't ask me too much, or you'll start me off and I'll ruin it all again," Marion replied just as quietly. "Let's just say I got a little emotional, and I had some help."

Belle gave Marion a concerned look as the latter sat down, and she found and held Marion's hand tightly as they waited for the next step to happen. It took a further twenty minutes before they were again called to Malenski's office.

"I've been doing some checking of the records," she said, "And there is just a single other occurrence of circumstances like yours that I could find in the time available to me. I don't think I'm likely to find another, to be frank. I think what I'm trying to tell you is, this is uncharted territory, and I don't know anyone who knows what might happen to you in the future.

"I've had a look at the preliminary results from your samples, and I can tell you that it appears you've been lucky, you both appear to be sufficiently fertile that having children should not be a problem. Of course, we'll still have to go through your DNA thoroughly to ensure that there's nothing adverse there which might cause you or your children problems in the future, but that's all standard anyway as you know. We'll need to do some extra tests on the sperm to ensure that the regression therapy hasn't had any unforeseen side effects. We'll also have to determine whether you will be able to self-inseminate or whether you'll need to return here for assisted insemination.

"As for hormone supplements for Citizen Hillier, I have some suggestions on that score which I shall pass on to Doctor Caparelli, as she is your General Practitioner for all intents and purposes. So, all in all, a much better picture than I thought when you went off for your tests. Are there any questions you'd like to ask me, citizens?"

"No, thank you, doctor," Belle said.

"Thank you, doctor, not at the moment. If I think of anything in the future, may I message you?" Marion asked.

"Of course. I'll make sure a link is sent to your address for you to use. You may not receive an immediate answer, but I promise you will get an answer."

As they walked back through the grounds Marion explained some of what had happened to her, but she didn't want to make too big an issue of it in public. If Belle needed to be told more, it could wait till the evening. Belle was impressed that she had been rescued by the nurses, though.

A tram came and conveyed them back to Old Town. Because the tram dropped them at a different stop to their usual alighting point, they had to walk through different streets and took the opportunity to buy themselves lunch from a bakery that sold hot food. This they carried back to the apartment to eat.

"What are we going to wear this afternoon, then?" Marion asked as they cleared away the lunch debris.

"Ah, that's the eternal question, isn't it?" Belle said, loading plates into the dishwasher. "I really have no idea. I'm not sure what we'll be expected to do with the girls."

Belle's communicator chimed at that moment, ending the speculation.

"Service? Why yes, we are, as it happens. What? Yes, of course, come over, please do, we'll be waiting for you. End call." She turned to Marion. "That was Annelise. She and Jane will be bringing the girls over here directly. Once we see what they are wearing, we can change to suit. I know it's a cheat, but we're only going in the park, it's not as if we'd have to spend a hour or so getting dolled up, is it?"

They continued clearing away and making the apartment tidy until the door announcer chimed. Belle went to it and spoke to the concierge, and shortly afterwards a young man brought up their guests. The two girls headed straight for the living room windows.

"Gosh, mummy, come and look!"

Gretta was having difficulty seeing properly because of her height, so Belle smiled at Annelise, grabbed a dining chair and walked over to the window with it. She placed it against the window and gestured.

"There, kneel on that, you'll be able to see better."

"Ooh! You can see for ever from up here!" Gretta said when she had climbed on the chair. "Is that where we're going, mummy?"

Annelise and Jane had walked over to join the girls by the window.

"That is some view you have here, Belle," Annelise said. "I bet you never get tired of it."

"No, I can fully agree with that," Belle replied. "It's a view I've known all my life, of course. One gets to appreciate all the changes of seasons, the different weather, and the sunsets. Especially the sunsets. One definitely never tires of those." To the girls she added, "Yes, that's where we're going. I'm surprised you've lived here all this time and not gone in more often."

Annelise said, "We've been quite busy since we came, it's only recently that we've had a little more free time. I must admit I've been a bit uneasy about going in through the Old Town gate, after the problems we had over the other side of the park."

"You shouldn't be. Up here, as I mentioned before, things are much quieter, especially if you use the gate down there."

"I wasn't aware that you could use that gate," Annelise said. "I just thought the security post was there because of the gap in the wall, I didn't think residents could go in and out."

"Didn't Jane tell you?" Belle turned towards the other woman.

"Apologies, citizen," Jane replied. "I'm relatively new at this post and I know very little about the way the Enclave works as yet. I didn't realise the gate was active."

"Oh! Yes, the gate's always been there. I used to be in and out of it all the time when I was their age."

"You used to go in the park on your own?" exclaimed Josie hopefully.

"Hmm. Sometimes, yes, when I was a little older than you are now," Belle replied. "The park was a safer place then, so it wasn't so much of a problem as it might be now. But I would think that it would be safe for you to go in, if either Jane or your mother went with you."

Josie's face fell, as did that of Annelise and Jane.

"You're not exactly making our lives easier now, are you?" asked Annelise, although she did have a rueful smile on her face.

"These two seem fairly active to me," Belle replied. "Why not give them a chance to work off some of their energy if you have the opportunity?"

"You're right, of course. So," Annelise changed the subject, "what do you want to do this afternoon?"

"We've just finished lunch," said Belle. "If you'll excuse us for five minutes to get changed, we'll go out and have a walk to show you what's down there. I'm afraid we've been quite active ourselves yesterday and today, so we won't be doing anything strenuous this afternoon. I'm sure we'll manage to find somewhere to sit down and enjoy a drink at a suitable point."

"A drink?" Gretta was outraged. "You said we could get -" She caught her mother's eye and subsided.

"I haven't forgotten you two," Belle said with a laugh, "there will be ice-cream, count on it."

"Hooray! Yay!" The two girls cheered.

"If you'll look after them while we get changed," Belle said, and she and Marion withdrew to the bedroom.

"So, what do you think we should wear, then?" Belle asked after she had closed the bedroom door.

"Gretta's got a summer dress, Josie has a tee-shirt and a skirt of thin... cotton?" Belle nodded as they stripped off what they had worn that morning. "Jane also has a tee shirt and a cotton skirt, but of course she'd be ready for anything, so she's wearing clothing that's not going to restrict her movements. Annelise has a summer dress like those we wore the other time we went in the park. Should we be wearing those dresses again? If not, I think I have a thin summer top, but I'm not sure what skirt I'd put with it."

Belle nodded. "You're beginning to get the idea of this, aren't you? I know which top you mean, I don't think you have a suitable skirt to go with it, though. Remember that for our next shopping expedition." Marion rolled her eyes. "What? Anyway, I think you'll have to wear that dress again, and I'll put on a light top and a full skirt like Jane's. That way, I'll be available if we do get any trouble."

"I keep forgetting I'm surrounded by all these hardened warrior types," Marion remarked as she pulled the dress out of the wardrobe. "Especially when you act all meek and girly a lot of the time."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Marion walked over to Belle and kissed her on the cheek. "Not at all. It's comforting to a frail flower like myself."

"Who are you and what have you done with Marion?" Belle asked with mock suspicion. "Turn round, I'll pull up your zip."

They re-entered the living room, bags in hand. The girls came over to them, eager to get into the park again. Gretta frowned.

"Where's your daddy?" she asked. "Is he working?"

Belle replied gently, "My daddy doesn't live here any more. He's dead, I'm afraid."

Annelise said, "I think she's asking about your male partner, not your father."

"Oh! No, I don't have a man living here, Gretta. Auntie Marion here lives with me instead."

"Oh."

Gretta digested this as they went down and out of the building. The four adults and two children crossed the closed-off avenue and passed through the turnstile onto the perimeter path.

"Ooh! Statues," said Gretta.

"Yes," Annelise said. "Do you remember what they told you in school about the Founders? These are statues of the Founders."

Gretta walked up to each one and stared up at it.

"They look real! They're not real, are they? They've not been turned to statues by an evil witch, have they?"

"Fortunately, no," Belle said. "These statues were made when they were all alive. This one is my father."

"Ooh! Your daddy? That man was your daddy?"

"Yes, Gretta." Belle turned to Annelise. "I'm sorry, you're probably going to have to answer a lot of questions tonight, I hope you don't mind."

Josie said, "That's all right, Auntie Belle. I think I can help her sort it all out. She's asking an awful lot of questions at the moment."

They turned to the left, along the perimeter road in the direction which Marion hadn't yet been taken. Belle was carrying her big bag with cardigans and umbrellas, Annelise had a similar sized bag, presumably with wraps for herself and the girls. Marion didn't like to speculate what was in the bag that Jane carried.

"Why is there all this sand by the path?" asked Gretta.

"It's used for exercising horses," Belle replied. "It's kinder to their hooves than walking on the path is. I sometimes run on it as well when my feet get tired."

"You run in the park?" asked an interested Jane.

"Yes, have done for many years," Belle replied. "And yesterday Marion started coming round with me as well, that's probably why we're not going to be going too far today. It's been a while since she's run regularly, and she was cramped up this morning."

"I'd like to do some running," Jane said. "I don't know if we'd be able to run together, though. Our work cycles are too different."

Belle looked at her closely. "I feel I should know you, you look slightly familiar. Jumper?"

"Yes. I was in the 12th. You?"

"11th. Did you serve under old Weissman?"

"No, he moved on before I joined the Parachute Brigade. No, I was under Mendoza." Jane paused. "You're probably thinking about my older sister Carol, she was in the 11th."

Belle screwed up her face with the effort of trying to remember. "Carol... sorry, I can't think of the last name."

"Sievert. Carol Sievert. And I'm Jane Sievert, of course."

"Oh, yes, I know her. She was good. For a jumper, she was good."

"She's still there," Jane said. "Doing a staff job now. A pity I couldn't stay with her." She explained to Belle, "I got moved to Special Forces. One night I did a low level insertion exercise and a gust of wind caught me, slammed me into the trunk of a tree. Caught me on the neck, damaged my middle ear."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yes, it didn't affect my hearing too much, fortunately, but I can't fly any more, can't take the pressure changes. So I was transferred to this job, which I have to say I quite like, even though I wasn't convinced at the start."

"Jane's been brilliant," Annelise added. "I don't know what I'd have done without her. The girls get on with her really well."

Gretta, who had taken no notice of this conversation at all, asked, "Will we see any horses today, Auntie Belle?"

"Ah, I don't think so, dear. They tend to exercise the horses quite early in the morning usually. You may see one, but don't set your heart on one appearing, will you."

The trees lining the path on the downhill side ended after they had walked so far, and the group were presented with a sudden view over the lower part of that side of the park. Next to the path, a series of shallow flower beds descended the hillside like terraces. Each was around seventy metres long, and between one and two metres wide. Between each 'step' a path ran, itself only a metre wide. The beds were raised, so that on the uphill side the retaining wall was ankle-high, and on the downhill side knee-high. To get from one level to the next there were steps, but each set of steps was offset meaning that one had to walk between the beds in a zigzag fashion to progress.

"We used to call this the Giant Steps," Belle said to the girls. "Go, enjoy yourselves."

The girls looked at their mother, who nodded. They walked down the first set of steps, puzzled, but as the architecture of the feature revealed itself as a sort of simple maze they started running, and were soon scampering down the hill, chasing one another. The adults discovered park benches between the first two levels and sat down to watch their charges.

"This is an odd feature to find here," Annelise said.

"The way I was told it," Belle explained, "There was an old mansion on the top of the scarp in the days before this became a public park. This end was part of the grounds of the house, and in front of the house they had a water feature. Each one of these flower beds was a pool, with water cascading from one to the next. If you look carefully down there, you can see the the markings of the big ornamental pond which used to exist at the bottom.

"The house burned down, oh, more than a hundred years ago, I believe, and the gardens fell into ruin. When the city took over the land and made the park, they discovered the old water feature, but because running it would have been expensive they turned it into these flower beds instead. I used to spend hours along here running up and down the levels with other children from the Enclave. You wait, in a while it'll occur to them that they can run along the retaining walls, and jump from one level to another."

"Is it safe?" asked Jane.

Belle shrugged. "I dare say we might get the odd scraped knee, but that's about all. The slope isn't steep enough to be that dangerous. If you're concerned about security, the area's totally open, so we can easily spot anyone approaching, and of course there are pickups along the perimeter path anyway."

The women watched for a while, and then began to chat as women usually do. They unconsciously split into pairs, Belle and Jane talking about their army experiences while Marion ended up telling Annelise about her past.

"I'm sorry, I find your situation fascinating," Annelise said after a while. "It's hard to realise that inside that very female body there is a man trapped. I can't imagine what it must feel like for you."

"Not so much of the man any more," Marion replied. "And I'm not sure I'd describe myself as trapped, not exactly. But although it's mostly a woman's body, I can't claim that I think totally like a woman yet. I just don't have the background to do most things automatically the way you do. My confidence in my own abilities is near zero. Oh, I can get to and from work by myself now, and what I do in the facility seems okay, but most other things, it seems like I have to work very hard just to seem normal."

"Do you resent what they did to you?"

"Yes and no. There have been times when I've resented the system, or the way the system failed me, or Medical Director Pannal, but I've become accustomed to the way I appear now. I don't want to go back any more, although certain recent events did make me wonder if I should."

"Oh? Recent events?"

"Yes. My male genitals still function, it seems. After visiting you the other night, Belle and I wondered whether we could produce a family. This morning, we visited a Fertility Clinic so that they could find out whether I could still, you know, provide genetic material."

"Ah! That will be interesting, if you can." She stopped, then groaned. "Oh, my! How on earth am I going to explain all that to the girls? It's going to be bad enough in any event. I don't want them to get the idea that anyone can just switch genders when they feel like it."

"Well, in principle, they can, as I understand the mechanism. Thing is, you can only do it once, then change your mind once. That's all, and you have to be psychologically profiled beforehand, which obviously never happened to me."

The girls came puffing back up to where the adults sat, Josie in front.

"Mummy, there are cows."

A small herd of cattle had appeared in the distance, on the flatter part of the rough scrub land beyond the flower bed feature.

"Oh, yes," responded Belle as Gretta joined her sister. "They let cows in sometimes to help keep the ground cover down. They're all fenced off, they won't come anywhere near you, don't worry."

"See! Told you so," Josie told her sister. She turned back to Belle. "Are there any other animals in here, Auntie Belle?"

"Well, you'll see cows, and very occasionally sheep, deer, rabbits, squirrels and foxes. But only if you look closely, and not often at this time of day, it's too hot and too bright for them."

Annelise rummaged in her bag. "Here you are girls, have a drink." Both girls looked flushed from running up and down the hill and eagerly took the water bottles their mother handed to them. "Have you had a good time running up and down?"

"Yes, mummy, it's good fun. Can we come another time?"

"Of course you can. I don't know whether Auntie Belle will be able to come, but Jane and I will bring you both."

She brought out a small towel, and the girls used it to wipe the sweat from their faces.

"Had enough?" Belle asked. "You can probably play some more, but we've a bit of a walk back to get to the ice-creams, if you take my meaning."

"Ooh, yes, please," Gretta said, handing her water bottle back.

The party organised their things and started walking back along the perimeter path. When they reached the statues they kept going across the avenue and continued under the trees, eventually coming out in front of Old Town gate. At a gesture from Belle they headed for the cafe and commandeered a table. Marion noticed that Belle and Jane automatically positioned themselves at each end of the seated group, ready for any eventuality. A young girl came out and took their order, all four women deciding that just this once they would indulge in ice-cream treats. After all, the weather was warm, wasn't it?

"Not bad here, is it?" Annelise said, as she wiped her mouth clean.

"It depends," Belle said. "At holiday time, it can be both busy here and noisy. If you go just past those trees there's a playground the girls can use, but I thought that showing them the Giant Steps was going to be a better idea this time. If you go even further past the Steps, you'll find a grotto in the cliffs the girls can wander in. My nanny used to take us that far when I was their age, then come back and we'd have a picnic by the Steps."

"Us?"

"Yes, there were a small crowd of us, all children of ministers of the time." She turned to the girls. "Ice-creams good?"

"Yes, Auntie Belle. Thank you for bringing us here," replied Josie.

The ice-creams were followed by drinks, coffees for the adults and fruit juice for the girls. They all just sat in the sun and relaxed. Eventually they had to think about leaving.

"We'll have to go, Marcus will be home soon and I'll have to bathe these two before the evening meal," said Annelise.

"We should really be going as well, we've had a busy couple of days and I see Marion is looking a little tired," Belle said.

"Can we come out again? What about next week-end?"

"Possibly. We'll give you a call beforehand depending on how things work out next week," Belle replied.

*****

"I'm totally bushed," Marion complained as they got ready for bed.

"I'm not surprised," Belle replied. "I shouldn't have let you run that far yesterday."

"I don't think it was just that. This morning was draining, too. I'll be glad to get back to work so I can have a rest."

"You think so? You've got Talya to sort out tomorrow, don't forget."

"Oh, yes. Well, I don't expect that's going to be too much trouble, do you?"

"Where you're concerned, I've given up working out whether or not anything will be easy or hard. I'm constantly surprised by the turn of events."

"You and me both." Marion gave a sharp intake of breath as her hands found sore body parts. "That still hurts."

"What? Oh. I didn't realise that you'd had so much trouble this morning, you should have said. Anything I can do to help?"

"You help me just by being here, dearest. Come here, be gentle with me."

"The events of the last couple of days have really concentrated my mind," Belle said as they relaxed a few minutes later. "Before, I thought about children, but not in a personal way, if you know what I mean. I was just a single woman with a day job, and other people had families. Now, I begin to understand what all the fuss is about. Having taken those two delightful girls out, I'm beginning to think I want some of my own."

"You and me both," Marion murmured, half asleep. "And I couldn't have asked for a better person to have my children, could I?"

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