When I woke up, I saw that I was in hospital and that I was all alone. I was scared, because I could not see Jenn. I needed her, but she was not there. There was no one around, just the lights on above me.

I immediately panicked and began shaking, and I pressed what ever button I could reach. I just had to know where Jenn was. Could she be down in the cafeteria? Could she be in the gift shop? Was she alright?

I waited and waited. Then, a tall nurse arrived. She looked flustered or stressed, which, I was not actually sure of. All that I knew was that I was in alot of pain. I was so shaken, I never gave her much choice as I started asking questions.

Me: "Where the hell am I? What the Hell happened too me? what is going on? Who the hell are you? Where is my clothes? Where is Melanie? Where is Jason? What the hell is going on? Why am I here?' I was in tears at this point.

The nurse answered me by first explaining who she was. Her name was Cecile, she was tall about 5'10 auburn hair and green eyes. She first told me in a not so calm voice, Keep it down or I will have to sedate you."

Me: "OK, But I am scared out of my wits!".

Cecile: "First, you are in the Hospital, Melissa. Second, you were brought in over 5 weeks ago. You have been in a coma for a while now. Third, your clothes were cut off of you. Fourth, Melanie will be here soon. Fifth, Jason was arrested. Six, you were badly beaten and raped, hence the bandages and casts about your arms and legs and face,that is all I know."

Me: I swore silently, 'FUCK!' "When is this shit going to end?"

Cecile: "You are now in ICU and have been here about 23 days now, we almost lost you on three different occasions."

Me: "I didn't know!"

Cecile: "You are lucky to be alive after the beating you took. We are amazed at that."

Me: "Please, leave me alone." I was in tears, she gave me something for pain, then left.

----------

I woke several hours later and Melanie was in the chair beside the bed, reading the latest glamour mag. I was now, at peace. Here was someone who I knew that I could trust. Melanie is the girl I became friends with in the apartment building that I moved into after Jenn went off to college.

I lived upstairs and she down. We often met for coffee and tea and the usual gossip. She became my friend when Jenn went away. No, I do not hate or blame Jenn. She had her own life to live, and at the time, I was ready, too.

Anyhow, she smiled when I turned my head towards her and she spoke. "How are you feeling, Melissa?"

All I could so was whisper, "Not good, I need a drink and I am hungry."

Well, truth to tell, I was being fed by IV, my nutrients and meds. I was a real mess.

She smiled and said, "I will be back in a second."

When she returned a nurse was with her and it was not my previous nurse, she was Lorraine, short and stocky, 5 feet nothing and black hair and brown eyes. She asked me, "How are you feeling? Do you remember anything at all?"

I nodded in the negative, Sorry, no."

She frowned, then left. Melanie had a worried look on her face. but all she did was hold my hand. I guess 30 minutes later two orderlies came into my room and took me to the X-Ray department. I was given a MRI and a CT scan. They returned to me to my room, some 90 minutes later.

Melanie told me all that she could tell me, "You called me at 5:P.M. and asked me to help you with your makeup and to talk about your impending date with Jason that evening. I arrived and you had the most beautiful black dress on that accentuated your curves. I believe it was your VS dress. I left at 6:45 and left you to wait til Jason arrived. I remember you telling me how you met and how you reconnected. I was extremely happy for you. I could here you above me with your heals on the lino floor in your kitchen several times."

"Yes, I was anxious, at the time."

"The pacing stopped when I heard Jason' come home, He looked obviously drunk and not in a very good mood when I saw him from my window. Next thing I know was a I heard a loud crash and a very loud bang. I was scared, for you and for me. I called 911 and told them what I could hear. They advised me not too get involved. I got really angry. I went up to your place and I literally saw Jason throw you through your kitchen wall, then repeatedly beat you and kick you. I yelled at him to stop, he had a look of rage and was totally pissed off as well as drunk as I could smell the alcohol from where I was. He repeatedly beat you then I saw him rape you. I know you hit him, although I do not know how you did that. When you did it, he staggered and fell backwards. I then screamed as loud as I could as I saw your legs twisted and arms not where they obviously should be pointing."

"I didn't know that I hit him, nor that you saw it all."

"He rose up on his feet and stumbled towards you and gave you a swift kick to the face and then another to your groin and abdomen. I was still screaming. He staggered towards the door and stumbled into me, I was scared and fell back against the railing. He stumbled down the stairs and got in his car and left. I had to make a choice, stay with you or follow him. I chose to follow him in my car as the ambulance had arrived and I told them to call the police as I was going to follow that car. I followed him back to the bar where he was at from the beginning. He stumbled and staggered into the place and the cops arrived and went in to the place and hauled him out in cuffs, he was cussing and swearing, that he should have killed that"bitch" (you Melissa). I was so taken aback and scared that I needed assistance back to the house and to the hospital. They would not let me near you. I was told that you were severely beaten and that you were unconscious."

"Damn! What about my job?"

"I checked on you everyday, I called your work and explained the situation and then I went into your place of work and talked to your boss. You have a job when you get out of here."

I was shocked with a blank expression. I started to cry. I asked her, "What happened to my apartment?"

"It is a mess, the walls were badly damaged or destroyed. The main thing is that I am glad that you are alive."

I asked, "Please, call Jenn."

"Where Can I find her number?"

I told her in a muffled whisper where her number was as well as the number where she might be working. She soon left 3 hours later. I began to cry. I began to seriously doubt my existence here. I wanted to kill myself, I wanted it to be over with. I was so alone. I was so frustrated and in so much agony. I eventually fell asleep, with tears streaming down my cheeks.

**************

In April 1992 I reconnected with Jason and we talked alot and we started to become a regular couple at the local coffee shop, each week. The weeks passed and then months and both our jobs were going well. He was a local manager at a local computer outlet, while I maintained my job in retail. The summer passed quickly and then fall.

Both of us had decided to go out and have a wonderful dinner on the 24th of October. I made reservations at a kinda upscale restaurant call the DIPLOMAT. The restaurant was posh with a suit and tie dress code etc. Not very expensive, but expensive enuff. I had purchased a black ,off the right shoulder Victoria's Secret dress. The dress came to 2 inches above my knees. I decided that a trip to the salon was in order.

I made a appointment for 11:30 and went. I had my nails done and my hair styled nicely and put in a french twist. (my hair was down to my rear end) This posed a chore for my stylist Marie. I went home and relaxed and then took a bath and called Melanie. She came up and we talked and gossiped. Melanie left and I continued to get ready. I paced and paced.

After 45 minutes I called Jason's work and was told he left and should be on his way home. I figured probably traffic. I waited and paced about. Then he arrived and he looked disheveled. That is all I can remember...... The lights went out after I heard screams..........

**********************

POINTS TO IMPROVE ON ARE WELCOME. THIS IS A ACCOUNT FROM MY JOURNAL UP TIL THAT NIGHT IN OCTOBER AND WITH MELANIE'S OWN WORDS SHE WROTE FOR ME SEVERAL WEEKS AFTER I WENT HOME. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHOM HAVE COMMENTED AND EMAILED ME ON THIS JOURNEY. I APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. THANKS.

MELISSA (prairie_girl_64)