Kelly's Journey Chapter 1: Bye Daddy By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Kelly's Daddy is a Police Officer well on the way to a Captaincy. He is well respected by fellow Officers and was selected to replace the current Captain when he retires. But Kelly's Daddy goes on duty when a fellow officer calls in sick and dies in the line of duty.

---

* * *

It is hard to believe, but I am now complete. My journey is finally over and I can now live happily ever after. And to think, that it almost never happened, but it did. Here I am, with my beloved husband beside me asleep after our passion has been sated. And to think that we almost never made it because of our fears. We both had fears, but we have both overcome our fears and now we are together forever.

* * *

My name is Kelly Lee Moore; I was born a boy 21 years ago. I am a natural redhead with green eyes. I love to play sports, but I was always on the small side. I look like my Momma if she were a boy. But as much as I love my Momma, I love my Daddy too.

My dad was Edward Stuart Moore, a gentle giant, of a policeman who looked like Tom Selleck. He loved to hunt and fish and had wanted to be a Park Ranger, unfortunately he never qualified. When he was killed in the line of duty, the Woods let us move into the Guest House on their Estate.

He and Mister Woods were best friends growing up and were the Best Man at each others weddings. When I was conceived, the Woods accepted the Honor of being my Godparents and Mom and Dad, the Godparents of Julie and Johnny, their twins. Growing up with the Woods, I felt that we were a family, with two moms, and a dad.

We kids were the Three Musketeers and would often spend the night out in the old tool shed Mister Woods had converted into a fully functional playhouse for us. We would spend endless hours there on the weekends playing make believe.

Daddy loved nature and tended to have cookouts out in the backyard. He loved to see if he could make the perfect steaks, but Momma was the real cook. Daddy knew how to grill most everything, but Momma made the best cookies.

* * *

I remember one night when Daddy scooped me out of the pool after I had cannon balled everybody. He was laughing because he couldn't believe that a small fry like me could drench everybody.

"Kelly, you sure know how to cannonball, young man," he chuckled. ['Just like me, he is fearless, yet has his mother's grace and beauty. I know that he might be more girl than boy, but I love him.']

Then I hugged him, getting him even wetter, "Thanks, Daddy. It was fun."

"No doubt, you look just like your Mother when she was your age." [And just as beautiful too. I am blessed that I grew up with my Love.']

"Does that mean that I'm gonna be a Momma too?" ['Is Daddy sad that I look like momma?']

[chuckle] "No squirt. It simply means that you look like your mother. You are quick and nimble instead of being big and husky like me. And I couldn't be happier."

"So, that means that I'll grow up to be like Momma, but as a boy?" ['Wonder what Momma would look like playing softball?']

"Pretty much."

"Daddy, I like to run and play a lot and dance. Is that alright?"

"Yes, Kelly. That's alright. When I was little, I liked to run and play and when I grew up, I became a policeman like my dad." ['He died before I was born. I'm glad that Terri's parents adopted me after Mom died.']

"Daddy, do I gotta be a policeman like you?"

"No, you can be who you want to be."

* * *

That was just before my daddy passed away in the line of duty. He was called in because another policeman called in sick. Daddy went in because he was always ready to help out, but this time, he wouldn't come back.

"Yes, Moore residence."

"Stu, I know that this is your day off, but Whitehead's called in sick, and unfortunately, you're on the reserve list this week," sighed Police Chief Branch.

[sigh] "Damn it, Sir! I set aside today to spend with my family! Doesn't he give a damn?"

"I'm really sorry; Stu, but we need you."

[sigh]"Do I ride alone?"

"No, Stu, you'll be riding with Piper."

"OK, I'll come in. Piper is one of the best there is. Is she still up for transfer to S.W.A.T.?"

"Yep, and you're to be the next Detective, when promotions come out."

* * *

Momma came in and saw Daddy's face, "Stu? What's wrong?

"Honey, I have to go in." [I wonder why in the Hell he called in sick THIS TIME?']

"Damn it, Stu, can't somebody else go in? Kelly was all set to go with you to the park today and play catch." ['I love him, but at times, his job gets in the way.']

Then he hugged Momma, "I know Honey, but I swore an oath that I must fulfill. This is my week to be "on call", Remember?" he sighed. ['I hate disappointing my son; I hope that he understands one day.']

"I know, Stu, It's just that you keep on missing out on playing with Kelly. It seems as if your buddies are conspiring to keep you busy." ['And they know that you'll help out if they ask.']

"Heck, I'm the next one up for promotion in the department. When the next class graduates, I'll get promoted to Detective."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Captain Branch promised me when I transferred from teaching at the training camp. And promised again, just now."

Then she gave Daddy a big kiss, "Take care, Stu." ['You've been wanting to be detective ever since you joined, and now, as a detective, you can spend more time with us.']

Daddy went to put on his uniform, and then returned to the kitchen where he finished breakfast. Then I walked into the kitchen still in my pajamas, "Daddy? Why are you in uniform?" [' I hope he isn't going in.']

Then Daddy scooped me up in his arms, "I am sorry Kelly, but a fellow officer called in sick and it is my duty to take his place." [' I won't spank him if he throws a fit because I'm breaking a promise.']

"Oh, darn it!! I was hoping that we could go to the park and feed the ducks and picnic," I pouted.

Daddy hugged me as he always did when I pouted, "Me too, [sigh] Why don't you ask Mister Woods what they're doing today? I know that Julie and Johnny love it when you play with them."

"That sounds like fun, Daddy, but I'll miss you," then I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Then he hugged me close and put me down, "I promise you that after Church, we will have a picnic and feed the ducks at the park."

Then he kissed Momma and left, that was the last time that we saw him alive. He died in the Line of Duty that day and never came home. To this day, I can never look at a policeman with out thinking of my daddy. That is why I don't understand those that belittle those in Law Enforcement; perhaps if their daddy was a policeman, they'd understand me better.

* * *

Daddy arrived at the station in his Patrol Cruiser and went straight into the Captain's Office. He was one of very few entitled to do so. Most Officers had to be screened by the Captain's secretary, Bobbi Marie Stafford. She was the Captain's daughter. She looks like Will Smith's wife, except that she has natural red hair.

"Hey Stu, Daddy called you in?" ['It's too bad that he's married. he is one good looking hunk of man.']

He sighed, "Yeah, Bobbi. Whitehead called in."

"Shit! That asshole was supposed to stop drinking. Now he's gonna be in trouble."

"Maybe he'll get the Board now," he said as he went in.

Captain Branch got up and shook Daddy's hand, "Stu, glad that you could come. You and Piper will be patrolling the East End Housing Projects tonight."

"That's my first Patrol Beat. It'll be good to see Pastor Patrick again." [He married me and Terri.']

Then Piper arrived. She was an Asian American. She was cute, and petite. She barely made the height requirement for being an Officer, and was often mistaken for a teenager.

"Hello, Stu, Captain Branch says that we're teamed up today." ['He's one heck of a man. Too bad that he's married.

Stu shook her hand, "Glad to team up with you. I take it that Whitehorse is your partner?" ['She still looks as good as she did in the Academy.']

"Yeah, but my cruiser is in the shop. We'll need to take yours."

"OK, what's wrong with yours?"

"Tune up."

Captain Branch cleared his throat, "Piper, Stu, I gave you the Projects because that's a low crime area. Please be careful out there."

* * *

Let me introduce you to my momma: Terri Lynn Moore is my momma. She is a natural green eyed redhead like me. She weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and is only 5 feet tall just like me. We look like Redheaded Olsen twins.

Whenever we go out, people think that we are twins who make my momma's day; the only real difference is that Momma has a few wrinkles around her eyes. She likes to knit, crochet and sew. She has made all of our clothes.

The only clothing we have bought is hosiery, lingerie and socks. Momma also has made several quilts and comforters. She loves giving away her quilts at Christmas and donates several to the church every year.

* * *

Daddy and Piper were cruising when they saw a red van ram into a house, causing it to be engulfed in smoke, "Piper, I'm pulling over. Call it in, please." ['Is this an accident, or was it arson? Are they any victims in all that smoke?']

"Dispatch, this is Cruiser #218."

"Go ahead, 218."

"We are at the scene of a house fire. A red Chevy cargo van has rammed a house, causing a fire. Please send the Fire Department."

"What's your twenty?"

She looked at the mailbox, "2278, Block 'H' of the East End Housing Project."

"The Fire Department is on the way, please remain and offer assistance."

"That's a big 'Ten-Four."

Daddy got out, "Piper, I'm getting out our riot gear."

"Good idea. The gas masks will let us breathe in that smoke."

They found that the driver was stunned and got him out of the danger zone, "Sir, I am C.P.R. trained. Let me help revive him."

Stu looked at the red-headed nurse and smiled as he and Piper laid him down on the lawn, "Thanks Ma'am. Now we can rescue the others."

They went inside the building, carrying their halogen lights to pierce the smoke.

"Stu, found a young woman here near a crib."

"SHIT! I found another crib in here with a baby in it! This must be a nursery!"

"I've got the baby, and the mother is moving after I gave her fresh air from my mask."

"GOOD! I've got this baby. Hopefully, there's no one else in here."

They heard a splutter as the young woman came around, "Where's my baby?"

The nurse, after getting the driver to breathe, passed the baby to her, "Ma'am, I am Nurse Patty. Your baby is fine,"

She hugged her child to her, "Thanks, Nurse Patty. But there are two other children in there."

"Piper, stay here, keep the peace while I go get the kid," he said as he donned his mask.

"Be careful, Stu."

Daddy headed into the building, and it collapsed, "STU!!!" yelled Piper.

It took the Firemen until near dinner time to get to Daddy. But he was dead. He had placed the mask over the baby to protect him

* * *

It was later that day about supper time that we heard the front doorbell ring, "Kelly, are you clean?"

"Yes, Momma, I just washed up for dinner," Momma still bathed me every night before bed and did so until I went into the first grade.

"Then come with me to answer the doorbell."

"O.K., Momma," Then I ran up to her with slightly wet hands as she headed out of the kitchen where she was preparing our hamburger macaroni and cheese dinner, one of my favorites to this day.

"Well, I see that you didn't dry off", she giggled. ['My little ragamuffin never seems to dry off.']

"You said that you wanted me, so I kinda didn't dry off."

"That's alright, Sweetie, you did as I asked.

"I know," I laughed.

Momma opened the door after checking out the porch through the glass paneling. Then when she opened the door, I saw two policemen standing at the door. As she let them in, she asked. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" ['Please, let it be good news.']

The older one was an elderly black man with gray hair. He was almost as tall as my daddy, besides him was a curly haired blond with blue eyes. He looked like a surfer dude, "Mrs. Moore, my name is Harold Branch. I am your husband Ed's commanding officer, with me is Officer Donald Whitehead." ['Dear God, why must he have such a young child? This will be harder than I thought.']

As Momma led them to the den, she asked as she sat down and put me in her lap, "Where's Stu? Is he alright?" [Is my nightmare finally made real?']

Then I saw the Captain slump into Daddy's chair as if he were a rag doll, "This is one duty that I dread as the Captain, Mrs. Moore..." [I am getting too old for this.']

Then Momma wailed, "NO!!! HE CAN"T BE DEAD!!" ['WHY, LORD!?! WHY?!']

Then I looked at Momma as I saw her cry. Momma? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Then she hugged me to her, "Oh, Kelly, your daddy is never coming home again." ['The only promise he broke was to you.']

"Why, Momma?" ['Why is momma crying?']

"Because he has gone to Heaven." ['Please, God, we need help!!']

"NO!!! DADDY CAN'T GO!!" Then I began to cry like Momma was because I knew then that I had no Daddy.

Then the Captain cleared his throat, "Mrs. Moore, I am truly sorry, but I want you to know that Stu gave his life to save another." ['Small consolation, but Stu died a hero, unlike THIS beside me.']

"Please, tell us how he died then." ['Knowing Stu, it was in the line of duty.']

"Please, Sir, I wanna know how Daddy went to Heaven." ['Why is my daddy dead?']

"There was an accident where a delivery van crashed into a house. The van caused a lot of damage and there were people there trapped under the debris. Stu went in and brought several out, but when he went back for a baby, the roof caved in on him. He saved the baby, but at the cost of his life," he sighed. ['Oh, Stu. Why did it have to be you? Why didn't you let the firemen go in that final time?']

"What about the driver? Is he being held responsible?" ['I need to know who's responsible.']

"No, Ma'am. A tire blew out on the van causing him to lose control. He also died in the accident from a heart attack after being rescued, and we are investigating everything about the tire." ['But in that neighborhood, probably a nail or a pothole.']

"Sir, is the baby alright? Daddy loved babies and wanted to adopt a baby girl." Then I saw Momma nod yes as she wept again.

"Yes, Kelly, except for being scared, the baby is fine, and the parents want to name the baby after your husband to honor him." ['Can't think of a better way for them to honor Stu.']

"Is the baby a boy?" ['Cause Daddy has a boys name.']

Then the Captain grinned, "Yes, he's a boy." ['Even now, this child cares for others. He has a heart of gold.']

Then Momma looked at the other Officer," Why are you here?" ['Are you the reason that my Stu is dead?']

"I am the one that called in sick." ['It should have been me on duty, not him.']

"Funny, you look alright to me." ['Stu never drank when he was on call, and if he'd drunk earlier, he'd have declined.']

He looked down at his feet, unable to look at my momma, "Ma'am, I got drunk last night and woke up with a hangover. That's why I called in sick," he fidgeted.

Then Momma got up and slapped him hard, "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT STU IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU GOT DRUNK?!?! HOW DARE YOU WEAR THAT UNIFORM YOU BASTARD!!!" ['YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO WEAR IT!!!']

Then Momma began to cry again as the Woods came in and when Mrs. Woods saw my Momma, she gathered me up in her arms, "What's wrong, Kelly?" ['Has Stu finally been hurt? That man is so selfless that I worry for his safety.']

"Daddy has gone to Heaven," I sniffed as I dried my eyes.

Then she picked me up and fiercely hugged me "Oh, Kelly. I am sorry for you dear, what happened?"

Then Momma looked up at her, grateful that Mrs. Woods held me, "Oh, Andrea, it's the worst ever!! Stu is dead!!"

Then Mister Woods took me from his wife and let out a howl of rage, "STU!! I VOW TO RAISE KELLY FOR YOU!!"

"Chuck, I think that Kelly needs to play with our children right now," Then he passed me back to his wife as I wept for my daddy.

* * *

Oh yeah!! Meet Andrea Lynn Woods, my best friend's mother. She is a tiny Asian woman whose parents owned and operated a restaurant. When her parents, died, her husband took it over and added it to his collection of restaurants. She loves to paint and do jigsaw puzzles. She has given away framed and completed puzzles as gifts.

And her husband is Charles Tyler Woods. He is a tall and rugged blue-eyed blond who looks as if he could easily be a lumberjack with his long hair and facial hair, or the next Fabio for Doctor Ruth.

He went into the restaurant business with his dad and expanded "Wood's Family Restaurant into a local chain catering to the different tastes after his dad retired... When the local grocer closed shop, Mister Woods added it to his stores as well as a catering outlet.

Since then he has opened up a Cooking School where he creates new dishes for his customers and we get to sample his creations too.

* * *

Then she put me down gently, "Go and play with Johnny."

Then I scampered away to where the twins were standing. "Come on, Kelly. Let's watch cartoons."

"O.K., Julie."

Then we went and turned on the T.V. while the adults talked. I can't tell you what we were watching because I was thinking about my daddy. We used to play in the yard playing horsier and playing touch football and tennis. At times, Julie and Johnny would join us or we'd go play on their swing set.

But now, who would be my daddy?

While we watched cartoons, Mister Woods showed his anger towards that bad cop; I never knew that he could be so MEAN!!!

He went up to that bad cop and pulled him up by his lapels, "YOU BASTARD!!! YOU!! ARE WHY MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD!!! NO DOUBT TERRI SAID THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO WEAR THAT UNIFORM!! STU AND I ARE FRIENDS WITH THE COUNTY CONSTABLE , ROBERT CONRAD!!! YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN CIVIL SERVICES AGAIN!!!!!"

Then the bad cop wet himself in fear of Mister Woods, "You (sob) are assaulting (choke) a police (shudder) officer."

"No, you're dismissed from the force, no benefits."

"But, Sir, I .."

"You are to face a Summary Hearing. And prison as well." Then he looked at Mister Woods, "Sir, please let him go."

Then Mister Woods dropped him, "My pleasure."

Then the Captain escorted the bad cop out as the adults all wept bitter tears for my daddy.

* * *

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept on reliving that afternoon whenever I closed my eyes. I finally got up and went to Momma where she was sitting at her vanity crying as she held a picture of Daddy in his Dress Uniform.

"[sniff, sniff] Oh, Stu,[sniff, sniff] I miss your strong arms around me!![sniff, sniff] Now that you're gone, [sniff, sniff] I'm all alone!!!" she wept.

"[sniff, sniff] Momma,[sniff, sniff] you still have me!" [sniff, sniff] I began crying again, missing my daddy.

Momma picked me up. "Oh, Kelly. I know that you're here, but Stu, your daddy is gone and I don't know what to do without him."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

"You can stay with me. You couldn't sleep. Could you?"

"No, Momma, I keep on seeing what happened when they came."

"Then sleep with me, and we will comfort each other."

"O.K. Momma," Then she carried me to bed and we both slept soundly.

* * *

The next day, we went to see Daddy at the Tri-County Funeral Home. It's where all civil servants are taken to when they're buried. Jefferson, Cherokee, and Choctaw counties had pooled their resources to set up facilities to take care of their needs.

Next to the home are the Tri-County Bus Barn and Tri-County Courthouse. The Tri-County area was blessed with abundant streams for fishing and swimming as well as a natural harbor. The only reason that our city wasn't as big as New York is that the government only added houses when a corporation was willing to set up shop here.

Well, at the funeral home, Daddy looked handsome in his uniform. His casket was a rich mahogany with brass handles. The flowers around him were in every color of the rainbow. I almost didn't make it to see Daddy because I was so upset, but Pastor Patrick West helped me to pull together.

Mister Woods, who was wearing his old Boy Scout uniform, picked me up, "You look good, Kelly, [sob] like your daddy." ['Please don't be a policeman; I couldn't stand to lose you too.']

"[sniff,sniff] Thanks, Mister Woods, [sob] I wore this to honor Daddy. [Sob]"

"But would rather wear something else, [sniff] right?" ['I saw you fidgeting at your house, looking at your black suit.']

Then he passed me to his wife who was wearing her black silk gown, [sniff, sniff] "Yes, Ma'am, [sniff, sniff] but I want Daddy to know how much I love him." ['Daddy, I'd do anything for you!!!']

Then she passed me to my momma who was dressed like Mrs. Woods, "[sob] Oh, Kelly. You could have worn anything, [sob] your daddy would have understood!!" [Sob] ['Even now, he wants to please, my son is still loving.']

Momma then gently put me back in my chair in between the twins who'd arrived, "[sob] I know, Momma, [sob] but he'd be hurt if I did that, [sob], besides, [sob] this is [sob] the last time [sob] that I can see him. [Sob] " ['GOOD-BYE DADDY!! I LOVE YOU!!']

"Kelly, please talk to Pastor Pat, he wants to help you, if he can." ['He helped me to pull together for the funeral.']

"O.K., Momma."

Then Julie, wearing her black ballerina skirted leotard and tights kissed me, "Take care, Kelly, I love you." ['So handsome, like his daddy.']

Then Johnny hugged me, "Yeah, what Julie said." ['What can I do for my bentest friend?']

"Thanks everybody!!!"

Then Pastor Pat: the Pastor of the church that we and the Woods attend came over to me. He was wearing his black robe and silver sash and belt that he wore whenever he conducted the traditional service, "Kelly, I am here to help you if I can."

"Have you lost your daddy?"

Then he scooped me up into his arms, "Yes, Kelly. I lost my daddy when I was in Seminary."

"Seminary? What's that?"

"A special school that taught me how to be a Pastor, like my daddy."

"Oh, how did he die?"

"He died in his sleep, after many years of serving God."

"I'm glad that he wasn't hurt like my daddy, I am confused!!"

"About what?"

"Should I be a Police Officer like Daddy or do what I want?"

"What do you want to be?"

"I don't know, but I know that I don't want to be a Police Officer."

"Has anybody been saying that you should be an Officer?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Who?"

Then I pointed to a slim, hatchet-faced man with thinning black hair and wearing thick glasses, "That's the one; he said that I ought to take my Daddy's place, but how? I'm way too young!!"

"Don't you worry, young man. Let me and Charlie handle this!!" Then he carried me to Momma and put me down by her. When I looked up, I saw the anger in his face; let me tell you, I was scared.

"Terri, Kelly just told me that a certain person wants for him to take his daddy's place as an Officer!!

"Who is this asshole?"

I pointed him out, "That's the one!!"

"Why, that's Oscar Whipple, he's hated Stu ever since he caught him embezzling funds from the Police Officer's Christmas For Kids Account!! That weasel got put in jail for that, I see that he finally got out." she fumed.

"Don't worry, Lynn . Pastor Pat and I will deal with him."

"Thanks, Chuck."

Then they went over to him and escorted him outside, then came back a grinning from ear to ear, "Good news, he was wanted for parole violation. He's gonna be in jail for a long time now."

"Thanks."

Pastor Pat, will you take me to Daddy so that I can kiss him?"

"Sure, Kelly, it'd be my pleasure."

Then he carried me over to my daddy and I scrambled out of his arms so that I could kiss and hug my daddy.

Then I began to cry, tears unashamedly running down my cheeks as I sang "Daddy's Hands" by the Judd's to my Daddy.

By the time that I was finished, everybody was weeping with me, then Captain Branch gently carried me to my momma who hugged me to her, "Kelly, thank you for that song, but you know that your daddy never spanked you," Momma admonished me.

"[sniff] I know, Momma, [sniff, sniff] but it was either that or "Daddy, [sniff, sniff] Don't You Walk So Fast." [sniff, sniff]. But it didn't feel right."
* * *

Synopsis: Kelly's Daddy is a Police Officer well on the way to a Captaincy. He is well respected by fellow Officers and is selected to replace the current Captain when he retires. But Kelly's Daddy goes on duty when a fellow officer calls in sick and dies in the line of duty.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It is hard to believe it, but I am now complete. My journey is now over and I can now live happily ever after. And to think, that it almost never happened, but it did. Here I am, with my beloved husband beside me asleep after our passion has been sated. And to think that we almost never made it because of our fears. We both had fears, but we have both over come our fears and now we are together forever.

~~~~
My name is Kelly Lee Moore, I was born as a boy 21 years ago. I am a natural redhead with green eyes. I love to play sports. But I was always on the small side. I look like my Momma if she were a boy. But as much as I love my Momma, I love my Daddy too.

My dad was Edward Stuart Moore, a gentle giant, of a policeman who looked like Tom Selleck. He loved to hunt and fish and had wanted to be a Park Ranger, but unfortunately, he never qualified. When he was killed in the line of duty, the Woods let us move into the Guest House on their Estate.

He and Mister Woods were best friends growing up and were the Best Man at each others weddings. When I was conceived, the Woods accepted the Honor of being my Godparents and Mom and Dad the Godparents of their twins.Julie and Johnny.

Growing up with the Woods, I felt that we were a family, with two moms, and a dad. We kids were the Three Musketeers and would often spend the night out in the old tool shed Mister Woods had converted into a fully functional playhouse for us. We would spend endless hours there on the weekends playing make believe.

Daddy loved nature and tended to have cookouts out in the backyard. But Momma was the real cook, daddy knew how to grill most everything, but Momma made the best cookies.

I remember one night when Daddy scooped me out of the pool after I had cannonballed everybody. He was laughing because he couldn't believe that a small fry like me could drench everybody.

"Kelly, you sure know how to cannonball young man, he chuckled. ['Just like me, he is fearless, yet has mis Mother's grace and beauty.. I knew that he might be more girl than boy, but I love him.']

Then I hugged him, getting him even wetter, "Thanks Daddy, it was fun."

"No doubt, You look just like your Mother wen she was your age." [''He looks like Terri when she was his age.']

"Does that mean that I'm gonna be a Momma too?" ['Is Daddy sad that I look like Momma?']

[chuckle] "No squirt, it simply means that you look like your Mother. You are quick and nimble instead of being big and husky like me. And I couldn't be happier."

"So that means that I'll grow up to be like Momma, but as a boy?" ['Wonder what Momma would look like playing softball?']

"Pretty much."

"Daddy, I like to run and play a lot and dance, is that alright?"

"Yes Kelly, that's alright. when I was little, I liked to run and play and when I grew up, I became a policeman like my Dad."

"Daddy, do I gotta be a policeman like you?"

"No, you can be who you want to be."

That was just before my Daddy passed away in the line of duty. He was called in because another policeman called in sick. Daddy went in because he was always ready to help out, but this time, he wouldn't come back.

"Honey, I have to go in." [I wonder who in the Hell has called in sick THIS TIME?']

"Damn it Stu, can't somebody else go in? Kelly was all set to go with you to the park today and play catch." ['I love him, but at times, his job gets in the way.']

Then he hugged Momma, "I know Honey, but I swore an Oath that I must fulfill. This is my week to be "on call." remember., he sighed. ['I hate disappointing my son, I hope that he understands one day.']

"I know Stu, it's just that you keep on missing out on playing with Kelly. It seems as if your buddies are conspiring to keep you busy." ['And they know that you'll help out if they ask.']

"Heck, I'm the next one up for promotion in the department. When the next class graduates, I'll get promoted to Detective."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Captain Branch promised me when I transferred from teaching at the training camp."

Then she gave Daddy a big kiss, "Take care Stu." ['You've been wanting to be detective ever since you joined, and now, as a detective, you can spend more time with us.']

Then I walked into the kitchen still in my pajamas, "Daddy? Why are you in uniform?" [' I hope he ain't going in.']

Then Daddy scooped me up in his arms, "I am sorry Kelly, but a fellow officer called in sick and it is my duty to take his place." [' I won't spank him if he throws a fit because I'm breaking a promise.']

"Oh darn it!! I was hoping that we could go to the park and feed the ducks and picnic," I pouted.

"Me too, [sigh] ' Why don't you ask Mister Woods what they're doing today? I know that Julie and Johnny love it when you play with them."

"That sounds like fun Daddy, but I'll miss you," then I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Then he hugged me close and put me down, " I promise you that after Church, we will have a picnic and feed the ducks at the park."

Then he kissed Momma and left, that was the last time that we saw him alive. He died in the Line of Duty that day and never came home. To this day, I can never look at a policeman without thinking of my Daddy. That is why I don't understand those that belittle those in Law Enforcement, perhaps if their Daddy was a policeman, thy'd understand me better.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me introduce you to my Momma: Terri Lynn Moore is my Momma.She is a natural green eyed redhead like me.She weighs 100 pounds soaking wet and is only 5 feet tall just like me. We look like Redheaded Olsen twins.

Whenever we go out, people think that we are twins which makes my Momma's day, the only real difference is that Momma has a few wrinkles around her eyes. She likes to knit, crochet and sew. She has made all of our clothes.

The only clothing we have bought is hosiery, lingerie and socks. Momma also has made several quilts and comforters. She loves giving away her quilts at Christmas and donates several to the church every year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later that day about supper time that we heard the front doorbell ring, " Kelly, are you clean?"

"Yes Momma, I just washed up for dinner," Momma still bathed me every night before bed and did so until I went into the first grade.

"Then come with me to answer the doorbell."

"O.K. Momma," Then I ran up to her with slightly wet hands as she headed out of the kitchen where she was preparing our hamburger macaroni and cheese dinner, one of my favorites to this day.

"Well, I see that you didn't dry off", she giggled. ['My little ragamuffin never seems to dry off.']

"You said that you wanted me, so I kinda didn't dry off."

"That's alright Sweetie, you did as I asked.

"I know," I laughed.

Then Momma opened the door after checking out the porch through the glass paneling. Then when she opened the door, I saw two policemen standing at the door. As she let them in, she asked. " Do what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" [Please let it be good news.']

The older one was an elderly black man with a gray hair. He was almost as tall as my Daddy, besides him was a curly haired blond with blue eyes. He looked like a surfer dude. "Mrs. Moore, my name is Harold Branch, I am your husband Ed's commanding officer, with me is Officer Donald Whitehead." ['Dear God, why must he have such a young child? This will be harder than I thought.']

As Momma led them to the den, she asked as she sat down and put me in her lap, "Where's Stu? Is he alright?" [Is my nightmare finally made real?']

Then I saw the Captain slump into Daddy's chair as if he were a ragdoll, "This is one duty that I dread as the Captain Mrs. Moore,,," [I am getting too old for this.']

Then Momma wailed, "NO!!! HE CAN"T BE DEAD!!" ['WHY LORD!?! WHY?!']

Then I looked at Momma as I saw her cry, "Momma? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Then she hugged me to her, "Oh Kelly, your Daddy is never coming home again." ['The only promise he broke was to you.']

"Why Momma?" ['Why is Momma crying?']

"Because He has gone to Heaven." ['Please God, we need help!!']

"NO!!! DADDY CAN'T GO!!" Then I began to cry like Momma was because I knew then that I had no Daddy.

Then the Captain cleared his throat, "Mrs. Moore, I am truly sorry, but I want for you to know that Ed gave his life to save another." ['Small consolation, but Stu died a hero, unlike THIS beside me.']

"Please tell us how he died then." ['Knowing Stu, it was in the line of duty.']

"Please sir, I wanna know how Daddy went to Heaven." ['Why is my Daddy dead?']

"There was an accident where a delivery van crashed into an apartment complex. The van caused a lot of damage and there were several people there trapped under the debris. Ed went in and brought several out, but when he went back for a baby, the roof caved in on him. he saved the baby, but at the cost of his life," he sighed. ['Oh Stu, why did it have to be you? Why didn't you let the firemen go in that final time?']

"What about the driver? Is he being held responsible?" ['I need to know who's responsible.']

"No Ma'am, A tire blew out on the van causing him to lose control. he too died in the accident, and we are investigating everything about the tire." ['But in that neighborhood, probably a nail or a pothole.']

"Sir, is the baby alright? Daddy loved babies and wanted to adopt a baby girl." Then I saw Momma nod yes as she wept again.

"Yes Kelly, except for being scared, the baby is fine, And the parents want to name the baby after your husband to honor him." ['Can't think of a better way for them to honor Stu.']

"Is the baby a boy?" ['Cause Daddy has a boys name.']

Then the Captain grinned, "Yes, he's a boy." ['Even now, this child cares for others. He has a heart of gold.']

Then Momma looked at the other Officer," Why are you here?" ['Are you the reason that my Stu is dead?']

"I am the one that called in sick." [' It should have been me on duty, not him.']

"Funny, you look alright to me." ['Stu never drank when he was on call, and if he'd drunk earlier, he'd have declined.']

He looked down at his feet, unable to look at my Momma, "Ma'am, I got drunk last night and woke up with a hangover. That's why I called in sick," he fidgeted.

Then Momma got up and slapped him hard, "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT STU IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU GOT DRUNK?!?! HOW DARE YOU WEAR THAT UNIFORM YOU BASTARD!!!" ['YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO WEAR IT!!!']

Then Momma began to cry again as the Woods came in and when Mrs. Woods saw my Momma, she gathered me up in her arms, " What's wrong Kelly?" ['Has Stu finally been hurt? That man is so selfless that I worry for his safety.']

"Daddy has gone to Heaven," I sniffed as I dried my eyes.

Then she picked me up and fiercely hugged me"Oh Kelly, I am sorry for you dear, what happened?"

Then Momma looked up at her, grateful that Mrs. Woods held me, " Oh Andrea, it's the worst ever!! Stu is dead!!"

Then Mister Woods took me from his wife and let out a howl of rage, "STU!! I VOW TO RAISE KELLY FOR YOU!!"

"Chuck, I think that Kelly needs to play with our children right now, " Then he passed me back to his wife as I wept for my Daddy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah!! Meet Andrea Lynn Woods, my best friends Mother. She is a tiny Oriental woman whose parents owned and operated a restaurant. When her parents, died, her husband took it over & added it to his collection of restaurants. She loves to paint and do jigsaw puzzles. She has given away framed and completed puzzles as gifts.

And her husband is Charles Tyler Woods. He is a tall and rugged blue-eyed blond who looks as if he could easily be a lumberjack with his long hair and facial hair, or the next Fabio for Doctor Ruth.

He went into the restaurant business with his Dad and expanded "Wood's Family Restaurant into a local chain catering to the different tastes after his Dad retired.. When the local grocer closed shop, Mister Woods added it to his stores as well as a catering outlet.
Since then he has opened up a Cooking School where he creates new dishes for his customers and we get to sample his creations too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then she put me down gently, "Go and play with Johnny."

Then I scampered away to where the twins were standing. "Come on Kelly, let's watch cartoons."

"O.K. Julie," Then we went and turned on the T.V. while the adults talked. I can't tell you what we were watching because I was thinking about my Daddy. We used to play in the yard playing horsie and playing touch football and tennis. At times, Julie and Johnny would join us or w'd go play on their swing set.

But now, who would be my Daddy?

While we watched cartoons, Mister Woods showed his anger towards that bad cop, I never knew that he could be so MEAN!!!

He went up to that bad cop and pulled him up by his lapels, "YOU BASTARD!!! YOU!! ARE WHY MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD!!! NO DOUBT TERRI SAID THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO WEAR THAT UNIFORM!! STU AND I ARE FRIENDS WITH THE COUNTY CONSTABLE ROBERT CONRAD!!! YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN CIVIL SERVICES AGAIN!!!!!"

Then the bad cop wet himself in fear of Mister Woods, "You (sob)are assaulting(choke) a police*shudder) officer. "

"No, you're dismissed from the force, no benefits."

."But sir, I .."

"You are to face a court martial.And prison as well." Then he looked at Mister Woods, Sir, please let him go."

Then Mister Woods dropped him, "My pleasure."

Then the Captain escorted the bad cop out as the adults all wept bitter tears for my Daddy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't sleep well that night. I kept on reliving that afternoon whenever I closed my eyes. I finally got up and went to Momma where she was sitting at her vanity crying as she held a picture of Daddy in his Dress Uniform.

"[sniff, sniff] Oh Stu,[sniff, sniff] I miss your strong arms around me!![sniff, sniff] Now that you're gone, [sniff, sniff] I'm all alone!!!" she wept.

"[sniff, sniff] Momma,[sniff, sniff] you still have me [sniff, sniff] I began crying again, missing my Daddy.

Then Momma picked me up. "Oh Kelly, I know that you're here, but Stu, your Daddy is gone and I don't know what to do without him."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

"You can stay with me. You couldn't sleep. could you?"

"No Momma, I keep on seeing what happened when they came."

"Then sleep with me and we will comfort each other."

"O.K. Momma." Then she carried me to bed and we both slept soundly.

~`~`~`~`
The next day, we went to see Daddy at the Tri-County Funeral Home. I's where all civil servants are taken to when they're buried. Jefferson, Cherokee, and Choctaw counties had poled their resources to set up facilities to take care of their needs. next to the home is the Tri-County Bus Barn and Tri-County Courthouse. The Tri-County area was blessed with abundant streams for fishing and swimming as well as a natural harbor. The only reason that our city wasn't as big as New York is that the government only added houses when a corporation was willing to set up shop here.

Well, at the funeral home, Daddy looked handsome in his uniform. His casket was a rich mahogany with brass handles. The flowers around him were in every color of the rainbow. I almost didn't make it to see Daddy because I was so upset, but Pastor Patrick West helped me to pull together.

Mister Woods who was wearing his old boyscout uniform picked me up, "You look good Kelly,[sob] like your Daddy." ['Please don't be a policeman, I couldn't stand to lose you too.']

"[sniff,sniff]Thanks Mister Woods,[sob] I wore this to honor Daddy.[sob]"

"But would rather wear something else,[sniff] right?" ['I saw you fidgeting at your house, looking at your black suit.']

Then he passed me to his wife who was wearing her black silk gown, "[sniff,sniff] "Yes Ma'am,[sniff,sniff] but I want Daddy to know how much I love him." ['Daddy, I'd do anything for you!!!'

Then she passed me to my Momma who was dressed like Mrs. Woods, "[sob] Oh Kelly, you could have worn anything, [sob] your Daddy would have understood!! [sob] ['Even now, he wants to please, my son is still loving.']

Then Momma gently put me back in my chair in between the twins who'd arrived, "[sob] I know Momma, [sob] but he'd be hurt if I did that, [sob], besides, [sob] this is [sob] the last time [sob] that I can see him. [sob] " '[GOOD BYE DADDY!! I LOVE YOU!!']

"Kelly, please talk to Pastor Pat, he wants to help you if he can." ['He helped me to pul together for the funeral.']

"O.K. Momma."

Then Julie, wearing her black ballerina skirted leotard and tights kissed me, "Take care Kelly, I love you." ['So handsome, like his Daddy.']

Then Johnny hugged me, "Yeah, what Julie said." ['What can I do for my bestest friend?']

"Thanks everybody!!!"

Then Pastor Pat: the Pastor of the church that we and the Woods attend came over to me. He was wearing his black robe and silver sash and belt that he wore whenever he conducted the traditional service. "Kelly, I am here to help you if I can."

"Have you lost your Daddy?"

Then he scooped me up into his arms, "Yes Kelly, i lost my Daddy when I was in Seminary."

"Seminary? What';s that?"

"A special school that taught me how to be a Pastor, like my Daddy."

"Oh, how did he die?"

"He died in his sleep, after many years of serving God."

"I'm glad that he wasn't hurt like my Daddy, I am confused!!"

"About what?"

"Should I be a Police Officer like Daddy or do what I want?"

"What do you want to be?"

"I don't know, but I know that I don't want to be a Police Officer."

"Has anybody been saying that you should be an Officer?"

"Yes Sir."

"Who?"

Then I pointed to slim, hatchet-faced man with thinning black hair and wearing thick glasses, "That's the one, he said that I ought to take my Daddy's place, but how? I'm way too young!!"

"Don't you worry young man. Let me and Charlie handle this!!" Then he carried me to Momma and put me down by her. When I looked up, I saw anger in his face, let me tell you, I was scared.

"Terri, Kelly just told me that a certain person wants for him to take his Daddy's place as an Officer!!

"Who is this asshole?"

Pointing him out, "That's the one!!"

"Why that's Oscar Whipple, he's hated Stu ever since he caught him embezzling funds from the Police Officer's Christmas For Kids Account!! That weasel got put in jail for that, I see that he finally got out." she fumed.

"Don't worry Lynn, Pastor Pat and I will deal with him."

"Thanks Chuck."

Then they went over to him and escorted him outside, then came back a grinning from ear to ear, "Good news, he was wanted for parole violation. He's gonna be in jail for a long time now."

"Thanks."

Pastor Pat, will you take me to Daddy so that I can kiss him?"

"Sure Kelly, it'd be my pleasure."

Then he carried me over to my Daddy and I scrambled out of his arms so that I could kiss and hug my Daddy.

Then I began to cry, tears unashamedly running down my cheeks as I sang "Daddy's Hands" by the Judds to my Daddy.

By the time that I was finished, everybody was weeping with me, then Captain Branch gently carried me to my Momma who hugged me to her, "Kelly, thank you for that song, but you know that your Daddy never spanked you." Momma admonished me.

"[sniff] I know Momma, [sniff, sniff] but it was either that or "Daddy, [sniff, sniff] Don't You Walk So Fast." [sniff, sniff]. But it didn't feel right."

After the funeral, both Momma and I slept in the same bed to keep the nightmares away.

 

After the funeral, Kelly and her momma start dealing with their loss as they mourn the death of Kelly's daddy. On the way to visit relatives, Kelly discovers a few things about herself. At her Grandparents farm, she discovers an uncle she never knew that she had, and her aunt holds a secret in her heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we got home from the funeral, we stopped outside of the Woos Guest House, "Terri, I know that your old place is a bit much for you two, ever since Stu died. Move in to the Guest House and sell Stu's," offered Mister Woods.

Then Momma began to tear up at the kind offer, "You're right, but according to Stu's will, I am to keep it for Kelly. We decided that when we bought it, and now it's paid for along with his log cabin."

"Than at least accept the Guest House as yours Terri. Please do it for us," pleaded Mrs. Woods.

"Very well you two, but it'll be a chore to move the furniture," momma surrendered in grace.

Then Johnny spoke up, "Uh huh! The Guest House is fully furnished Mrs. Moore.

Then Julie spoke up too, "Yeah Mrs. Moore, we kids play there all the time."

"Then I guess that you urchins need a new playhouse," added Mister Woods.

"Yes daddy," they chorused.

"OK you scoundrels, I accept, but we will need to get our things unless you have already got them."

"Yep, while we were gone, I had your stuff brought over and Stu's place cleaned from top to bottom. "

"Then I offer Stu's as OUR Guest House." momma declared.

"OK. lets go out and celebrate at one of my restaurants."

Then we headed off to dine out and when we got home, I again slept with momma to keep nightmares away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Momma took me up to see her parents and sister Debbie because she needed their support and comfort now that she was a widow. We were in Momma's black Pinto wagon heading to Grandpa's farm when we stopped at a rest stop for a toilet stop.

['I don't know how my son will react when I tell him the news, *sigh*, Please LORD, give me the Wisdom that I need to break the news.'] "Kelly, they are worried about us, they want us to move in with them."

"But Momma, I don't wanna move. I love the Woods." [' Johnny, I'll miss you most of all if we move.']

I know, but now that I'm a widow, they think that I shouldn't stay in that old house." ['They mean well, but I must not let them take Kelly away from his friends.']

"Don't they know that the Woods gave us the Guest House?" ['Is that why? Sheesh!! We have a nice place to live.']

"No they don't. They think that since I sold our old home that I needed the money and that we live in an apartment." ['Living there would be way too much, We both needed a fresh start that the Woos gave us.']

"Well, if they saw the Woods Estate and our new home there, they'd be surprised. ['Especially at our new home. The balcony outside my bedroom makes a great place to camp out under the stars.']

"True Bozo, true." ['Kelly always loved that clown.']

"If I'm Bozo The Clown, does that make you Ronald Macdonald?" ['Well, my favorite 'jammies look like his costume.']

"Kelly, I'm a girl, not a guy," she replied haughtily.

"Then you could be Ronnie Macdonald, his daughter," I giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me tell you about the Guest House; it's built over a four door car garage with each of the four doors housing two cars. The Woods have a camper and camping trailer in the first one, Mister Woods Thunderbird and Mrs. Woods Aerostar in the next one. The third one is for car maintenance and repair. The last one is for momma's Pinto wagon and everybody's bikes.

The Guest House itself is accessed by stairways on both sides of the garage and a rear stairway in back. The right hand stairway leads into the living room and the left hand into the kitchen. our bedrooms and bathroom are in the rear where the bodacious balcony is. Momma and I have spent many a summer night there stargazing and sleeping in our sleeping bags.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then while we were laughing, a Catholic Priest and Nun came up to us, "Hello, my name is Father Peter Downing and this is my assistant Sister Mary Angello." ['It is good to see a family laughing in these sad times.'] Then he held out his hand.

Then Momma took his hand, squeezed it and let go, "I am Mrs. Andrea Lynn Moore and this little rascal is my son Kelly Lee." [He could be Santa Claus and she an elf, her being so tiny like me.']

"We have a Chapel here for weary travelers, would you like to come?" asked Sister Mary. ['I can see sorrow in their eyes, yet they are full of laughter. Only True Love can do that.']

I tugged on momma's arm, "Please Momma, I'd like to see the Chapel." ['Father Patrick would love to come here. I wanna see it and give a good report.']

Then Momma smiled at me,"Well, I don't see why not." Then she looked at Sister Mary," We are grateful for your kindness, I was widowed recently and we are visiting relatives," Momma sighed.

Then Father Downing placed a gentle hand upon my Momma's shoulder, "Dear child, to be widowed at such a young age with a child to raise is a tragedy. We will help you as much as we can." ['So much like my sister who died last year. Oh, how I miss her.']

"Thank you Father, my son Kelly and I miss my husband, Stuart." ['There'll never be another man like him.']

"How did your husband die?" ['Dear God, please not a drunkard, that's how my sister died, run over by a drunkard.']

Then I spoke up, "Daddy died saving a baby from a fire. he died a hero." ['Daddy YOU are MY hero.']

"Yes Kelly, a hero, if only he had lived," turning to the Priest, "Father, why did Stu have to die? Why didn't God save him?" ['Lord, I need some reassurance in this, my Faith is weak.']

"My child, I don't have the answer, and I will not try to give any pat answers. But do you blame God?" ['I have seen so many turn bitter towards God from such pain that at times I dread my calling.']

"No,[sigh] not really. I just need an answer." ['At least he is honest, very much like Father Patrick.']

"Ask Him for the answer," he replied pointing up to Heaven.

"Momma, maybe God took daddy up so that he can watch over us." ['Hope I can help momma.']

Kneeling down before me, she placed both of her hands upon my shoulders, "You believe that?" ['Dear God, are you using my son to comfort me? Thank you.']

I smiled at momma with tears in my eyes, "Uh huh, ever since the funeral, I've felt that daddy was watching over us in my heart." ['Daddy, I miss you something awful you know.']

Then tears started flowing freely down my momma's now worry free face," Oh Kelly, I've needed to hear that ever since your daddy passed on! I can never thank you enough for freeing my heart of its pain." ['Thank you Lord for Kelly.']

I too started crying, "Your welcome momma." Then we hugged each other as our hearts were refreshed.

Then I heard the others crying, "My child, never have I seen such a pure and simple display of Love! I have been needing to see that ever since my sister died. You have helped to restore my Faith. Thank you." ['Oh Lord, you have chosen a child to lead me back to you.']

"Yes Kelly, Father Downing was about to retire, now I daresay that he will continue to serve."

"Indeed I shall."

Then momma carried me over to the Priest and he gently took me in his arms, "My sister Veronica, Daphne was run over by a drunk driver as she was escorting children to the playground at the nursery where she worked. Her husband Alexander Murray Scott is in the seminary studying to be a Methodist Pastor."

"Yes, poor Al was left without Hope, so he quit and went back to his fathers business as a carpenter."

"Is there a way that I can help him?"

Then from the nearby Visitors Building came a most happy voice, "Don't worry about me young man, what you just said spoke to my heart. Now I am ready to go back." ['It took a child's simple Faith to renew mine, Thank you God.']

Then I saw a man about daddy's size with black hair, blue eyes, wearing a red sweat suit, Thanks Kelly for opening my heart again." ['Such a sweet boy and his mother is pretty too.']

"Your welcome, but I did nothing," I blushed.

By that time, we were on the front steps of the Chapel, the outside was made to look like a log cabin with wooden shingle roof. Who ever built it was a craftsman because I could see attention to detail that only the best could create.

"None sense Kelly, by your words, you have helped me to Hope again. Without your coming here, I'd never have wanted to go back." ['This child is so selfless and giving, God, lease protect him.']

Then the Priest looked at him with renewed Hope in his eyes,"You mean?" [Has the Lord used Kelly to bring us both back?']

"Yes my brother, I'm returning to the fold," then they hugged deeply.

"This is a truly Blessed day!!"

Then we went into the tiny Chapel. The wooden paneling and stained glass windows gave it an air of peace and quiet. We were led to Father Downing's office behind the pulpit where there was a buffet set out for us.

Momma was looking at the marvelous china with awe, "Father Downing, your Chapel is beautiful. I can see why you are here. And Sister Mary must be a wonderful help." [I'm glad that Kelly wanted to come.']

"Thank you, we love it here ourselves. Would anyone wish to pray?" ['I can see that Kelly is a loving child, To lose his father and still love shows a truly strong spirit.']

['I wanna thank God for today.'] "May I pray please?"

"Go ahead and pray Kelly," said Sister Mary for a weeping Father Downing.

"Jesus, thank you for Father Downing, Sister Mary, Mister Scott, and for lunch. Momma and I miss Daddy, please help us to cope, I Love You! Amen."

"Kelly, [sniff,sniff] the Lord will most definitely say yes to your prayer,[sniff,sniff], he wept. ['The prayers of a child's pure heart, thank you for Kelly.']

"Why are you crying Father? Was it something that I said?" ['I seem to be making a lot of people cry.']

"Kelly, you and your Mother remind me of my sister. She died a year ago." ['I still miss you sis.']

Then Momma spoke up, "How sad for you, we know your grief. As you know, my husband was a policeman, he died saving a baby boy from a building." ['Funny how talking about it now I am more at peace.']

"Were there any harsh words spoken that you regret?" ['Such a fiery spirit, Scotty needs her and she needs him.']

"The only thing that momma and I regret is that Daddy was called in to replace a sick policeman."

"Your lucky, My sister Angela and I had a bitter fight before she was run over. Now I can't ask her for forgiveness."

Then Scotty and Sister Mary both placed a comforting hand upon his shoulders, "Brother, my sister forgave you before she left to safeguard the children. You weren't ready to accept her forgiveness, are you now?"

Yes Scotty, I am," then turning to Sister Mary, "I guess that I've been a bit pigheaded, haven't I?"

"A bit Peter, but now you're back on track, and even during your grief, you served admirably."

"Thanks Mary, but I'd still like to say Goodbye to her," he sighed.

"Then why not let me be her stand-in?" ['I know that Stu won't mind, besides, this way I can say Goodbye to him.']

"Thank you, Sissy, can you forgive me for not trusting you?"

"I forgive you big brother. Can you forgive me for being so stubborn?"

"Always Sissy, Always," Then they hugged and wept as healing tears freely flowed.

After that, we ate lunch and cleaned up, Father Downing led us back to Momma's Pinto, "Thank you Mrs. Moore for letting me get closure with my sister."

"Glad to be of service Father, and thanks for letting me say Goodbye to Stu."

"But what about Kelly?"

"Don't worry Father, I said Goodbye at the funeral."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then we headed on to Grandpa's. On the road, I saw many farms of different types, but none were like Grandpa's. His was a combination of different types. It was always fun to visit because there were always baby farm animals to ply with and I even had me a Shetland Pony to ride when I was little named Midnight due to her all black coat.

"That Priest is a nice man, almost like Daddy, Momma."

"I know sweetheart, it was like being with your Daddy again for me."

"Is that why you agreed to pretend to be his sister?"

"I'm not really sure, all that I know is that I'm glad that I did it."

Then I saw the farm, "Look Momma, Grandpa's farm! Looks like he's been busy building a new barn."

"Knowing him, more than one," she smiled as she remembered her dad's busy ways.

As we turned into the driveway, I could see a new barn and a greenhouse next to it. Grandpa Joe was always busy and Granny was too. They may have been retired, but they still worked on their farm.

As we parked, Granny ran up to the Pinto and hugged us both as we got out. "Welcome home Lynn, it's been too long, follow me to the house," exclaimed Granny. Then she turned and led us to the farmhouse.

"Thanks Momma, Feels good to be home."

"And this must be Kelly, My you are a wee thing."

Momma saw me about to tear up, "Now Momma, please don't make fun of him, I don't want for him to be hurt by name calling."

Then Granny knelt before me and gave me a hug, "Kelly, I didn't mean to hurt you, it's just that you look like your Momma when she was your age."

"That's O.K. Grandma, I like looking like Momma, but please don't get a dress out for me, I smirked. ['I'll teach her *wee thing*, chuckle.']

"Why not Kelly, I've got your Mom's stuff put away." ['I can tell that he's setting me up, might as well go with it, giggle.']

"Because I am a boy, want to see?" ['Gotcha!!']

"KELLY!! You scamp!! I guess that I deserve that!!" she laughed. Then she gathered me up in her arms and hugged me, " You are so much like your Mom, it's like seeing her grow up again." ['Just like my daughter, Kelly has that silly side that loves to spread happiness.']

Then Grandpa arrived, carrying a pail filled with ears of corn for our lunch, "I agree Lizzie. Kelly is Lynn as a boy." ['Stu and Linn did a very good job of raising Kelly so far, but will she accept our help, stubborn girl.']

Then I noticed that I had no uncles , daddy was an only child, and his parents had died when he was a baby, so Granny and Grandpa adopted him, "Grandpa, why didn't you have a boy? I wish that I had an unca to play with," I sighed

Then I hear them cry as Grandpa handed the corn to Granny as he picked me up, "We had a son Kelly,[sniff, sniff] but he isn't here now", Grandma sighed. ['Lord, the pain is still fresh, but it's time for him to know.']

Then I looked all around, "Where is he then?" ['I wonder if he's he a Park Ranger like daddy wanted to be.']

Then Grandpa let me down as Aunt Debbie paled in fright, "Oh, he's here now, want to see him?" ['Debbie, be strong my child, he doesn't know.']

I saw Granny and momma try to comfort Aunt Debbie as she wept, "Sure Grandpa, what's wrong with Auntie?" ['If he's here why is she so afraid? Maybe they had a fight.']

Then he led us to a small fenced in garden with a stone cross embedded in the ground. On the cross was written an inscription:'
Jonathan Murray Moore
Born March 1, 1966 Died October 31, 1980
Beloved Son And Brother

"What happened?"

Everybody was crying when Aunt Debbie came up, "It was a terrible accident that took my brother's life.[sniff, sniff] We still mourn his loss," she wept. ['How can I help him with his loss? Will he become Kelly girl? I see the signs.']

Then I started to tear up as I thought about daddy, "Like my Daddy?" ['Jesus, why was he killed? Was he a Police Officer like daddy?']

Then grandpa responded with a whisper because he was hoarse from crying, "Yes, but unlike your Daddy, my son Jon was attacked by other boys, he died from the attack." ['There's no need to tell Kelly why, he's too young to understand.']

Then I balled up my tiny hands into fists and made like I was punching someone, "Were they punished?" ['Daddy had instilled in me the concept of 'Right and Wrong'.']

Then his voice grew firm and hard, "Your Grandpa made sure they were." ['Debbie, you were born when Jon died, if I'd been there, you would still be Jon.']

Then Grandpa picked me up and hugged me, "I did it only after they got out without being punished. I couldn't let them get away with it," he sighed. ['Only Debbie's voice kept me from killing them, as it is, they died soon after in prison.']

"You mean like that policeman that caused Daddy to die?"

"Exactly, but that cop is not in prison, or is he?" ['If I'd been there, I'd have thrashed him, but good. As it is, I've made sure that no farmer up here will hire him.']

Then wile looking at the marker, an idea came to me, "May I say something to my Uncle Jon?" [' I know that daddy will like what I'm about to do.']

"Sure sweetheart," replied Grandma as Aunt Debbie smiled at me as momma opened the gate for me.

Then Grandpa let me down, and I came up to the cross,"Uncle Jon, I guess that you're up in Heaven with my Daddy, looking down on us. I wish that I could've met you, I think that you, me and Daddy would've had fun playing. Bye now."

When I turned around, I saw everybody crying again, then Aunt Debbie picked me up and we all headed to the farmhouse, "Thanks Kelly, Jon was my twin brother." ['Now I will look after you, because I can tell that in time you will become Kelly girl.']

['I wonder if he was like daddy.']

Was he like you?"

"Yes, very much like me."

Then we headed back to the house for dinner, as we entered, Grandpa asked, Should I boil or nuke the corn?'

"Just put them in the pot after you shuck 'em. And put shucks in the can for the hogs," ordered granny. ['he knows what to do, the scoundrel.']

Then grandpa saluted granny, "Should I do any push ups Sarge?' he asked in a mocking tone. ['She's still my sweetheart after all this time, I was lucky to find her in Basic training. One of the few good things to come out of the Vietnam War for me.']

"No, but you are to report to my quarters tonight, Soldier." ['After all this time, the old goat can still excite me, too bad I couldn't have more children after Terri, but cancer ended that for me.']

Then momma exclaimed, :MOMMA!! Please remember that Kelly is a baby!!" ['Those two are still active after all this time, no wonder they are so young at heart.']

Then Granny giggled, "I doubt that he knows what I mean Terri."

But Grandpa chuckled back, "Don't ne too sure you two, he was smiling after you ordered me to bed." ['Guess she forgot about how smart our kids were, the rascals.']

Then momma looked at me with a smirk, "Well Sport?" {'I learned not to take him for granted when he learned to talk.']

Then I smiled sheepishly,"Momma, Grandpa is to report to Granny for some cuddling," then I looked at granny, "Sorry granny, but I may be a kid, but I know because momma and daddy used to play "Cop and Convict" in their room."

"KELLY! THAT'S NOT TO BE SAID AGAIN!!" momma giggled.

"Yes momma," I smirked as my grandparents laughed at us.

After dinner, Momma and I went home with loads of Grandma's and Aunt Debbie's cooking.After we put everything up, we went to bed, grateful for the visit.

~~~~~~~

Momma hated having to work as much as she did, she wanted to be there for me, but since Daddy died, she was responsible for paying the bills. Even though she could have stayed home and let the Woods support us, she couldn't do that and live with herself
but she The first night that Momma came in late was when I started to finally deal with my grief. I was with Julie and Johnny When it happened. We were playing outside when my clothes got muddy after I fell as we played catch. I can still remember Mrs. Woods face when she saw me.

"KELLY, WHAT HAPPENED??" [As if I can't see, she laughed to herself.]

"I fell in the mud Mrs. Woods." I laughed. [I don't think that she's mad at me.]

"Well child, get your muddy self to the shower and clean up."

"But I don't have anything to wear except for spare undies."

"Don't worry, you can borrow from Julie or Johny, Now get to the shower." she giggled.

I learned that Mrs. Woods was thinking about my small size compared to Johnny; [ Kelly is so small that Johnny's clothes are way too big, but Julie and Kelly are the same size. Looks like it's Julie's clothes. Good thing that she has some that she tore up. Won't take long to mend.]

Then she began sewing on Julie's torn clothes when Julie came to her., "Whatcha doing Mom?"

I'm fixing a few of your torn tops and shorts for Kelly."

"Cool, can I help?"

"If you don't mind, please sort out the plain tops and shorts, no lace or ribbons."

"Sure Mom, only my dresses and skirts have lace or ribbons on them."

When I got out of the shower, Mrs. Woods helped me to dry off and then led me to her bedroom where I donned my briefs and white top and shorts. Then I went to the bathroom where she was waiting for me," Here you go Kelly, we have a nice out fit for you and i's not the least bit girly."

"Cool Mrs. Woods. I don't mind Julie or you wearing lace, but not me," I laughed.

Then I donned my undies, and the top and shorts. Even though they were girls clothes, they looked like boys to me.

"We have another shirt for you to sleep in of Johnny's for you."

"Why a shirt?"

"You have no pajamas here, that's why."

"Oh,."

That night, I slept peacefully with my friends. The Woods were ready for me to have a nightmare that night, but wearing Julie's clothes helped me.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 3: Tinkerbell By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! As Kelly and her family and friends get on with living, Kelly seems unable get past the funeral as she continues to sing that song. Yet Kelly has a plan unknown to everybody. It is after a fateful costume party that Kelly discovers the girl within.

---

* * *
We had been back for a week, when things began to change. I was so despondent over losing Daddy, that I was constantly singing 'Daddy's Hands'. I didn't mean to upset the twins, but when they started to get miffed, my sense of humor took over, and allowed me to start healing. After a week of my singing, they were ready to pounce on me. That's when I knew that I was ready.

Waking up from my slumber, I knew an away to pull a prank on the twins. I had continued to sing 'Daddy's Hands' and even 'Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast on the way home from Church. I purposefully kept it up, seeing that the Woods and Momma saw that I was pranking the twins. They'd asked me to stop several times, and I did, but the Woods and Momma saw that I was deliberately goading the twins and let me sing.

* * *

Mister Woods: ['I can see that that scamp Kelly is singing to get the twins worked up but good! I won't stop him because it's his way of dealing with his daddy's death. My children miss Stu too, but they won't let themselves grieve because they love Kelly, and want to help him. No doubt after this blows over, my children will grieve in their fashion.']

Mrs. Woods: ['That little scoundrel Kelly is going to do something to get the twins to stop moping about. They loved Stu and miss him, but are letting Kelly have his time.']

Momma: ['I can see that Kelly is setting his best friends for a prank, THAT IMP!! I'm glad that I'm not his victim. He's a real Entertainer no doubt about it.']

* * *

Johnny stood in front of me, "Kelly, if you keep on singing that song, I'm gonna smack you!!"

I sighed, "Why, Johnny?" ['Can't wait to pull my prank on them.']

My sister placed her hand on my shoulder, "Because, Kelly. We want to play, not listen to that song again!!"

"You're right, Julie. It's time to play, besides, I have it on tape," I deadpanned. ['Will they take the bait?']

"DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!" they both exclaimed.

"Got'cha," I laughed. ['Yep, they did.']

Needless to say, we got into a pillow fight. The poor pillows never had a chance as we turned them into goose feathers and cloth in our romping good time. All of our yelling and whomping each other had the unwanted effect of BOTH of our mothers catching us in mid whomp.

"KELLY LEE MOORE!!! FRONT AND CENTER!!" yelled Momma.

"JULIE AND JOHNNY!! ATTENTION ON THE DOUBLE!!!" yelled Mrs. Woods.

There we were, still in our underwear. Johnny and I in a t-shirt and briefs while Julie wore "Batgirl" underoos with matching pantyhose. She wore pantyhose all the time, just like her mother. Most of the time it was leotard and tights as she went to dance class. I dropped my pillow and sheepishly stood in front of my Mother. I was expecting to get a spanking from both adults for ruining those pillows, but that wasn't the case, as we were soon to find out.

Momma was tapping her foot, with her arms crossed, "What do you have to say for yourself, young man?"

"[sniff, sniff] I'm sorry, Momma and Mrs. Woods, it's all my fault," I sobbed. ['Don't wanna get them spanked.']

Julie hugged me, "No, Kelly. Johnny and I are guilty too," she wept silently. ['We need spanking for what we did, too.']

Johnny stood proud, "Yeah! We helped out too, Mrs. Moore." ['I might get spanked, but I won't let Kelly get spanked for me.']

Then they both grinned like Cheshire Cats, "We're not mad about you kids finally having fun. Instead of Kelly singing and you two getting madder at him, you three had fun after three weeks of Kelly singing. No, we are glad to see that you're finally playing." ['He actually did the song in a Blues style.']

Mrs. Moore sadly picked up a pillow, "Yes, but I DO hate it that my pillows got killed. [sigh] Oh well, at least they died for a good cause."

I snorted, "Sorry about that, Mrs. Woods, but when they complained about my singing, I told them that I had it on tape, THAT'S why we had the pillow fight."

Then she gathered me up in her arms, "Oh, Kelly, you Imp!! What will we ever do with you?"

"Hug me."

Then I was subjected to a group hug, "My son, since you accepted responsibility for the pillows, we will go and get some new ones."

We piled into Mrs. Moore's minivan and went to go get new pillows. As for the wrecked ones, they were turned into stuffed animals. We each got a teddy bear whose clothing was made of the pillow cases. Right now, I am holding mine as I tell you about this.

* * *

After the funeral, my momma and I grew very close as we comforted each other. For a while, all that I did was cry and sing that song, but in time, my two best friends broke through my shell and brought me back to reality. I was finishing my bowl of Honeycombs when the twins came in, Julie was wearing her green She-Hulk swim dress, Johnny his Thing swim trunks, and I was wearing my Flash Gordon swim trunks.

Johnny came over to me, "Kelly, are you through singing that song, yet?" ['He loves Daddy Moore so much, that I can't blame him for singing.']

I got up from the kitchen table, putting my cereal bowl in the sink, "I really don't know, Johnny yesterday was fun, but I still wanna sing. But I also wanna play too," I sighed. ['Daddy, I Love you, but I also wanna play.']

Julie hugged me, "Did you really record yourself singing?"

"Yeah, why, Julie?"

"Then why not let the recording play, silently while we play?"

"Johnny began laughing, "Your dad would love that, Kelly."

I felt a weight lift, and tackled them both, "You're right, Johnny."

After we tussled on the floor, giggling and play-fighting, we went swimming and got back to being kids. Oh, I still miss Daddy, but knowing that he is up in Heaven, looking down on me helps me to not miss him so much.

* * *

A few months later, it was time for Halloween. We kids would decide what costume we wanted, and go get them from the Costume Shop. We would choose a common theme each time. Now, admittedly, we were a bit young, but we had just had our fifth birthday, and were quite precocious.

We were out, playing tag when our mom's came out of my home. We stopped, and ran over to them. Mrs. Woods placed a tray of juice and cookies on a nearby table, "Have you kids decided what you want to be for Halloween?"

"I wanna be Peter Pan, Momma."

"And I wanna be Wendy."

"I wanna be Captain Hook, that way me and Johnny can have fun with those toy swords."

"You know better than that, Kelly."

"Mrs. Woods, they're plastic, how can we get hurt?"

"Andrea, our kids are responsible, besides, it's for Halloween."

"O.K. then, you can have the swords."

"Yippee!!" we both yelled out.

"You kids get dressed and we'll go."

Then we piled into Mrs. Woods' Aerostar minivan after finishing our snack, and headed for the mall.

It was there that Momma and I were to encounter people that mistook me for a girl for the first time. A beautician on lunch break saw me walking with Mom, and said out loud, "Miss, you and your daughter should enter the Mall's Annual "Mother/Daughter's Twin Contest, she looks adorable in her sailor suit."

"Ma'am, I will have you know that that is MY SON, NOT MY DAUGHTER!! "

"Terri, want to file a complaint?"

"Momma, why does she think I'm a girl?"

"Yes, Andrea, she has confused my son."

"Please, Miss, I apologize!! Your son looks so cute and that long, wavy hair makes him look like a girl."

Then I went and hugged her, "That's alright, Ma'am. I know you meant no harm."

"Well, thank you, Little Man. You are so sweet."

"I agree, Kelly is my boyfriend," announced Julie.

"And my bestest friend!" declared Johnny.

I turned to Momma, "Momma, please don't hurt her, she meant no harm."

"Alright Kelly, I won't complain. How can I refuse my sweet boy's request?"

Then we went into the Mall. Many people have thought that Momma and I were twins, and we have had fun since then when I grew older at Halloween dressing up in costumes, but other than that, we each dress in our own styles. The 'Mall' is the Tri-County version of the 'Super-Mall.'

The 'Mall' has all of the national department and the specialty stores surrounding the interior where the restaurants are located along with a 10,000 seat theater for plays and concerts. In the basement is the sports complex with the basketball court, bowling alley, figure skating rink, roller skating rink, and tennis court.

Which reminded me that it was at the Halloween Party during my fifth year that everything changed for me? When we got home from the Mall, we decided to watch Peter Pan. After watching the movie we went to don our costumes when I saw that it was a Tinkerbell, the wrong costume.

"Johnny? Where is my Captain Hook costume?" I saw Tinkerbell on the package, not Capt. Hook. I'd had my heart set upon the mock sword fight we had planned. I even had a fake hand, and hook ready.

"This should be it," he held up the green package, looking looked at it, and then blushed when he realized the mistake. He was could be so dense at times and still is, at times.

"No, Johnny, it is a Tinkerbell costume, silly. You think that Julie might have mine?" ['Did she switch costumes?']

Then, Julie came into the foyer wearing her Wendy costume. She was real cute in that pink dress and white tights. She is a sweet girl with expressive eyes who loves to play dress up, especially as Barbie

"How do I look as Wendy, guys?"

"You look great, Julie, and Johnny is a dapper Peter Pan, but they gave me the wrong costume. If it's not here, then where is it?" I sighed with a pout. Johnny and I loved to play together and Julie was tomboy enough to get into our make believe fights.

"What happened, Kelly?" Julie asked, as she came over and hugged me to her. She was always looking out for others. She grew up to be a wonderful Family Doctor.

"They gave Kelly a Tinkerbell costume, not a Captain Hook," said Johnny. ['Duh! Like I said before, DENSE!!']

"Oh my, it's too late to swap it. Does it fit?" Asked Julie as she began to study the package.

['Me wear a dress? HARDLY'] "I don't know, besides I am a boy, not a girl."

I'd never worn a skirt or a dress, although, I had worn Julie's shorts and tops before, [but not her undies] when mine were messed up, because Johnny's were too big for me.

"Why don't you wear it so we can see? If you don't like it, I will switch with you. After all, I AM a girl," Julie giggled. She always saw the bright side. She had often called me her sister Kelly, whenever I wore her shorts or tops. And I kinda liked it, too.

"You two promise not to make fun of me?" ['Would I make a pretty girl or be a boy in a dress?'] I wondered.

"We promise," they chorused.

Then I grabbed my costume, and started to put it on, because I trusted them.

"You need to wear pantyhose with that," Julie informed me.

"Why? I have never worn pantyhose before." ['What does hose feel like?']

"Because, it is cold outside, and pantyhose will keep you warmer. Besides, this is the type of pantyhose that I wear when I skate." And she always looked so darn CUTE in her skate dresses, and still does.

"O.K." ['I like the way your legs look in hose, so WHY NOT??']

Then after I had disrobed, I donned the pantyhose that Julie got for me. She told me how to put the pantyhose on each foot, and then gently pull them up so as to avoid any snags or runs. I liked the way the hose felt and the way they gave me a girl's groin. Looking at myself in the mirror, all that I saw was a girl, and I liked what I saw. Would they like the new me, too?

"Hey, now I look like you, Julie." I said with a grin. I danced around slowly to display my new look. ['I wonder if I should sing something?']

"WOW!! You sure don't look like a boy now, Kelly." Johnny was aghast with wonder. ['Kelly looks cute as a girl.']

I felt so different wearing this stuff, now that I looked like a girl. Then I went over and kissed Johnny, "Thanks, Johnny." It felt right to do it, too. I was a girl kissing a boy, right then.

"Just like a girl," Julie giggled as she wiped her eyes.

['Like a girl? Well, why not? I was wearing hose'] "Well, in these pantyhose, I feel like a girl," I blushed.

Then I donned the costume. As I slid my legs into the costume's brief, I knew that I wanted to be Tinkerbell. When I looked in the mirror and all that I could see was a cute ginger headed girl in a green dress. There is was no hint of boy about me, and I could see that my friends thought so too.

"Kelly, you make a fantastic Tinkerbell!" Johnny said, as he was looking me up and down. I began to wonder why. I was his friend, not a girl; did he see me as a girl?

"Thanks, Johnny."

Then he reached over and gently kissed me on the cheek, "Why did you do that?" ['Was he crazy? Was I for liking it?']

"I wanted to kiss the prettiest girl at the party," he blushed. Johnny, being shy around girls, tended to blush whenever a girl paid any attention to him, and he still is.

"Thanks, Johnny, but, I am still a boy under all of this." ['But I feel so wonderful, is this what Julie feels when she wears a dress?']

"I know, and you are my best friend. It's hard to believe that you make such a pretty girl. When I see you dressed as Tinkerbell, I see a girl, not a boy," he blushed.

['So, he DID see me as a girl] "I am?" ['I just had to be sure.']

"Yes, who else would I let be around my sister?" he huffed. ['I only trust you, my brother, although you look like my sister, now.']

"Even if I am in a dress?" ['And certain.']

"Yes."

['WOW!! I never would have guessed that.']

"Kelly, you are so pretty that I'm jealous," Julie giggled. "You look as cute as a girl, Kelly. But something is missing from the costume."

I blushed. "AWW, don't be." But I felt great as Tinkerbell, was I now a girl? I was beginning to like it too.

Julie left the room for a moment. When she came back, "Not to me you ain't," she giggled as she placed a blond wig upon my head. "There now, NOW, you look the part." ['Can't have Kelly's auburn hair mess up the costume.']

"What are you doing that for?" asked Johnny before I could; I was too shocked to react.

"Tinkerbell is a blond, not a redhead, like Kelly here is. Johnny, you can be oh, so dense at times." ['But I still love my brother.']

Looking at my reflection, I saw Tinkerbell, not me, "Thanks, Julie, now I actually do look like Tinkerbell."

I was all so caught up in how I looked, that I totally ignored Julie and Johnny looking at me. When I did finally look at them, he was smiling at me, while she looked at me for a moment, then she went over to her jewelry box. Julie finally came over with some jewelry, Here; try this on."

"You want me to wear that jewelry too?"

"Yes."

['I've never worn jewelry before, but why not? It was only Halloween.'] "Why not?"

Then she grinned at me, "I want to see if you will make as good a Princess as I think you will, now."

Soon I was wearing clip on plastic ruby earrings and matching necklace and bracelet. I looked like a Princess of the Fairies, and I felt like it, too.

"I do look like a Princess," I said in awe. ['Was this really me that I see in the mirror?']

"Daddy calls me that all the time, Kelly. It makes me feel special knowing that I am my daddy's Princess and now, you are a Princess, too," she whispered in awe in my ear as if conferring a special honor.

* * *

Johnny told me much later, he'd been thinking, ['Kelly is very pretty as Tinkerbell. I simply can't believe that I'm seeing my best friend as a girl now. Could Kelly ever really be a girl like my sister Julie? But he's my best friend, NOT a girl. I know one thing though, even if Kelly was a girl, we'd still be best friends.']

* * *

'Here I am wearing a dress and my two best friends see me as a girl, all because of a mix up in my Halloween costume. Was I a boy now or a girl? Did a dress make me a girl? If so, did I want to be one? Would my momma want for me to be her daughter instead of her son? Did I want to be a daughter for my momma?'

* * *

Julie later told me that she wondered, 'Kelly really does make a pretty Princess as I thought he would. Me, I love being able to sit upon Daddy's lap and snuggling with him whenever we watch the movies. I feel so safe and secure with Daddy, but now that Kelly is dressing as a girl, will he want to snuggle with Daddy too?

* * *

Then Mrs. Woods came into the room. Now the mystery was solved. It turned out that she had made a mistake in picking up my costume. There was another customer there had been there that day getting their order at the same time. Mrs. Woods had simply grabbed the wrong one without noticing. She hadn't even noticed it yet, "Are you kids ready?"

* * *

Oh yeah!! Meet Andrea Lynn Woods, my best friends' Mother. She is a tiny Oriental woman whose parents owned and operated a restaurant. When her parents, died, her husband took it over and added it to his collection of restaurants. She loves to paint and do jigsaw puzzles. She has given away many framed and completed puzzles as gifts.

And her husband is Charles Tyler Woods. He is a tall and rugged blue-eyed blond who looks as if he could easily be a lumberjack with his long hair and beard, or the next Fabio for Doctor Ruth.

He went into the restaurant business with his Dad and expanded "Woods' Family Restaurant into a local chain catering to the different tastes after his Dad retired. When the local grocer closed shop, Mister Woods added it to his stores as well as a catering outlet. Since then he has opened up a Cooking School where he creates new dishes for his customers and we get to sample his creations too.

* * *

"Yes, Mom, but there's been a mistake in Kelly's costume also." Julie answered with a pout. She could be a real Drama Queen when she wanted too.

"Oh?" Then Mrs. Woods came running into the room turned around. When she saw me, she gasped in surprise, "Kelly, is that you wearing that Tinkerbell costume?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I blushed. ['This was so embarrassing. I never wanted all of this fuss that was being made over me.']

"I can't believe what a beautiful girl you make," she said in astonishment. "It's too late to get an exchange, since the store is closed for the night. Sorry about the mix up, but I must have grabbed the wrong package by mistake."

I could tell that she was concerned about me and wanted to help as much as she could.

"It's alright, Mrs. Woods, it's only Halloween," I smiled. ['I'm beginning to actually like the feel of pantyhose. Do girls like the feel too?']

"No, dear. I made a mistake at the costume shop, and you are paying for my mistake," then she sat down and begin to weep.

"That's alright, I forgive you," I kissed her on the cheek. ['How could I ever be mad at you?']

"Kelly, you are such a sweet boy to feel this way," she said as she hugged me to her. I hated to see her cry.

"Thanks, I kinda like the way that pantyhose feels too," I blushed as I admitted my secret out loud to my friends.

"Me too, Mom," agreed Johnny, in Peter Pan's green tights. He had a big grin on his face, too. ['Johnny looks a bit girly in those tights.']

"Well, you two boys now know one of the joys of being a girl, right, Julie?" she giggled.

"Right, Momma," she agreed as she giggled back.

Then, after wiping her eyes to clear away the tears of laughter, she replaced her glasses and asked, "Are you kids ready for dinner?"

"What's for dinner, Mrs. Woods?" I was getting hungry now.

"Something to fit Halloween, of course," she snickered evilly as we followed her to the dining room.

Dinner was sure different tonight, she had used food dye to turn the mashed potatoes and gravy into purple and green glop and the hamburger steaks each had an eye in the center. She really loves cooking theme dinners. After eating our dinner, we helped her to pack up the refreshments in the car. She'd volunteered to make them this year.

After we ate our dinner and cleaned up, we packed up the party supplies and headed for the school where volunteers helped us to set up tables and get ready. Mrs. Woods came dressed as The Bride Of Frankenstein, and was really having fun. She'd made cookies in Halloween shapes and some nifty looking dips. She loves to cook, and events like this gave her a chance to experiment and we were her more than willing guinea pigs.

* * *

I did not know it, but the Woods were talking about me that night. It seems that they had been worried about me for awhile with me wearing Julie's shorts and tops and looking so natural in them. Down in the school's kitchen, Mrs. Woods was taking a break and talking to her husband.

"Honey, have you seen Kelly tonight?"

"Yes, I have, Sweetie. He is adorable. Why is he Tinkerbell?" he asked. He had come dressed as the Frankenstein monster from work.

"I got the wrong package at the shop," she began to cry.

Mister Woods held his wife as she wept, "Why are you crying, Sweetie?"

[Sniff]"I can not believe what a pretty girl Kelly makes." [Sniff]" He has a natural grace and beauty about him as if he should have been born a girl, not a boy." [Sniff] "Will he grow out of his feminine manner or will he stay as he is? [Sniff] He looks like a girl whenever he borrows Julie's shorts and tops and he has been mistaken for a girl more than once."

"We promised his Father to help raise Kelly. If he chooses to be a girl, I will support him in his choice, will you? As for Julie's stuff, we can get him some boys stuff to keep over here."

"Of course I will, but this is my fault. Will I be forgiven? And has my mistake hurt Kelly? Will he become a girl because of me?"

"Knowing Kelly, he has forgiven you already and his mother will too. You need to forgive yourself. If he becomes a girl, you will have simply given Kelly the means of discovering who he really is inside."

"I know, my Beloved, but we started it by letting him wear her clothes, will GOD forgive us?"

"Well, our God is a loving God, so yes, He has already forgiven us."

"I am worried about Kelly. He has decided to be a girl whenever he comes over. I see that Johnny treats him like he's a girl, but is there more to it than that? Will their friendship develop into love?'

* * *

While this was happening, Aunt Debbie was meeting with Constable Sebastian. She was ready to open up her "Debbie's Delights" when the Constable drove by on his morning patrol.

"Hello, Constable, do what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

He got out of his cruiser, "Simply on patrol, Debbie. How are you doing?"

She sighed, "Bad, I had a nightmare last night."

He escorted her to the front door, "About that Halloween Night?"

She unlocked the door, and deactivated the alarm, "Yes, I guess that it was my brother, Stu's death. He helped me to transform into Debbie. If not for him, I'd have committed suicide."

He turned on the lights, "I am glad that you didn't. My son fancies you something rotten."

She blushed, "He does? I thought that he didn't like me. "

"If you're talking about him and Gwen, she's pregnant with another man's baby. Vinnie dropped her when he found out that she was unfaithful."

"Then, why me?"

"Because he is impressed with your strength. He sees you as a real woman."

"Even if I can't get pregnant?"

"Debbie, like me, he doesn't equate getting pregnant with being a woman."

"Sir, I do. As a manufactured girl, I can't have children, as I want to. To me, THAT is a dream that I will never have granted," she sighed.

"Dear Child, Vinnie was adopted. I am sterile. Did you ever wonder why I never had a wife, yet have a son?"

"I didn't know that."

"I adopted my nephew after my sister, Gail, and her husband, Fred died in an auto accident. The Courts gave me custody as I am his only blood relation."

"OK, Constable, tell your son that if he comes by after work, that I'll let him treat me to dinner,"

He kissed her on the cheek, "You won't be sorry."

That was how Aunt Debbie met her long time boyfriend Vinnie. They took it very slow as they were both shy after being hurt. But their Love stayed true.

* * *

When we went into the house, Mister Woods looked us over with a grin on his face, "Well, you kids look great in your costumes, I hope that Tink here didn't use up her pixie dust or we'll have everything floating away."

"Gee, Thanks a lot, Mister Woods," I curtsied. He loved to tease me, and I liked it too.

"Kelly, you're being silly," he chortled in good humor.

"Well, I do feel silly. I AM in a dress," I giggled. I so wanted to get in his lap like Julie does.

"So you are, did you have fun?"

"Uh huh. Well, except for sitting in the steel chairs, yeah."

"That's what we girls put up with when we wear skirts," Mrs. Woods giggled at the three kids.

"Not me this time!" said Julie as she giggled mischievously.

"And why not, Julie?"

"This time, I wore something warm, this costume, Daddy."

"No I guess not, Julie, but Peter Pan's fanny was sure chilled," Johnny chuckled as he rubbed his fanny.

"Well now, I see that you boys learned a bit about being a girl tonight," said Mrs. Woods with a grin. ['Set'em up.']

"What's that?" Johnny and I chorused together.

"Those pantyhose don't stop you from freezing on a steel seat. Carry a blanket with you, like Julie and I do. Time for bed." she giggled, ['Hook line and sinker']

"Mom, since my costume is a nightgown, may I sleep in it?"

"Alright, Julie, want to wear the hose too? I started wearing hose to bed as a girl and still do to this day. Why shouldn't you have the same fun that I do?" ['I was about your age too.']

"Well, why don't we all sleep in our costumes?" she asked.

"The boys too? Well, why not? Its only Halloween, but it's up to them."

"Me, I don't mind. It will be fun to see what tights feel like in bed."

Johnny was sure feeling his legs. ['I wonder if this is what Momma and Julie feels when they wear hose? They both wear hose all the time.'] Johnny thought.

"Well, Johnny, you're not wearing a dress, I AM." ['If you were wearing a dress, you'd think differently Johnny.']

"Oh," he said dejectedly. "It was only an idea."

['On no, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like that!!'] "I would like to, too, but I do need to tinkle." I just couldn't see him look so pitiful.

"Well, if you want to stay dressed, you can," offered Mrs. Woods.
* * *

 

After the funeral, my Momma and I grew very close as we comforted each other. For a while, all that I did was cry and sing that song, but in time, my two best friends broke through my shell and brought me back to reality.

"Kelly, if you keep on singing that song, I'm gonna smack you!!"

"Why Johnny?"

"Because we want to play, not listen to that song again!!"

[sigh] "You're right Julie, it's time to play, besides, I have it on tape," I deadpanned.

"DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!" they both exclaimed.

"Got'cha," I laughed.

Needless to say, we got into a pillow fight, the poor pillows never had a chance as we turned them into goose feathers and cloth in our romping good time. Al of our yelling and whomping each other had the unwanted effect of BOTH of our Mothers catching us in mid whomp.

"KELLY LEE MOORE!!! FRONT AND CENTER!!" Yelled my momma.

"JULIE AND JOHNNY!! ATTENTION ON THE DOUBLE!!!" yelled Mrs. Woods.

There we were still in our underwear, Johnny and I in a t-shirt and briefs while Julie wore "Batgirl" underoos with matching pantyhose. She wore pantyhose all the time, just like her Mother, but most of the time it was leotard and tights as she went to dance class.

I dropped my pillow and sheepishly stood in front of my Mother. I was expecting to get a spanking from both adults for ruining those pillows, but that wasn't the case, "What do you have to say for yourself young man?"

"[sniff,sniff] I'm sorry Momma and Mrs. Woods, it's all my fault," I sobbed.

"No Kelly, Johnny and I are guilty too"

"Yeah, we helped out too Mrs. Moore."

Then they both grinned like the Chesire Cat, "We're not mad about you kids finally having fun instead of Kelly singing and you two getting madder at him, No, we are glad to see that you're finally playing."

"Yes, but I DO hate it that my pillows got killed. Oh well, at least they died for a good cause."

"Sorry about that Mrs. Woods, but when they complained about my singing, I told them that I had it on tape,. THAT'S why we had the pillow fight."

Then she gathered me up in her arms, "Oh Kelly, you Imp!! What will we ever do with you?"

"Hug me."

Then I was subjected to a group hug, "My son, since you accepted responsibility for the pillows, we will go and get some new ones."

"And since it's Halloween, it's time to go get your costumes, so we will do that too. Have you kids decided what you want to be?"

"I wanna be Peter Pan Momma."

"And I wanna be Wendy."

"I wanna be Captain Hook, that way me and Johnny can have fun with those toy swords."

"You know better than that Kelly."

"Mrs. Woods, their plastic, how can we get hurt?"

"Andrea, our kids are responsible, besides, it's for Halloween."

"O.K. then, you can have the swords."

"Yippee!!" we both yelled out.

"You kids get dressed and we'll go."

Then we piled into Mrs. Woods Aerostar minivan and headed for the mall where momma bought the pillows while Mrs. Woods took us to get our costumes.

It was there that momma and I were to encounter people that mistook me for a girl for the first time. A beautician on lunch break saw me walking with mom, and said out loud, " Miss, you and your daughter should enter the Mall's Annual "Mother/Daughter's Twin Contest, she loks adorable in her sailor suit."

"Ma'am, I will have you know that that is MY SON, NOT MY DAUGHTER!! "

"Terri, want to file a complaint?"

"Momma, why does she think I'm a girl?"

"Yes Andrea, she has confused my son."

"Please Miss, I apologize!! your son looks so cute and that long, wavy hair makes him look like a girl."

Then I went and hugged her, "That's alright Ma'am, I know you meant no harm."

"Well, thank you Little Man, you are so sweet."

"I agree, Kelly is my boyfriend," announced Julie.

"And my bestest friend!" declared Johnny.

"Momma, please don't hurt her, she meant no harm."

"Alright Kelly, I won't complain, how can I refuse my sweet boy's request?" then we went into the Mall.

Many people have thought that me and momma were twins and we have had fun since then when I grew older at Halloween dressing up in costumes, but other than that, we each dress in our own styles.

The "Mall" is the Tri-County version of the "Super-Mall." The "Mall" has all of the national department and the specialty stores surrounding the interior where the restaurants are located along with a 10,00 seat theater for plays and concerts. in the basement is the sports complex with the: basketball court, bowling alley, figure skating rink, skating rink, and tennis court.

Which reminds me that it was at the Halloween Party during my fifth year that everything changed for me. When we got home from the Mall, we decided to watch Peter Pan. After watching the movie we went to don our costumes when I saw that it was a Tinkerbell, the wrong costume.

"Johnny? Where is my Captain Hook costume?" I saw Tinkerbell on the package, not Capt. Hook. I'd had my heart set upon the mock sword fight we had planned, I even had a fake hand and hook ready.

"This should be it," he held up the green package, looking looked at it, then blushed when he realized the mistake. He was could be so dense at times and still is at times.

"No Johnny, it is a Tinkerbell costume, silly. You think that Julie might have mine?"['Did she switch costumes?'].Then Julie came into the foyer wearing her Wendy costume. She was real cute in that pink dress and white tights.

"How do I look as Wendy, guys?" Julie was a sweet girl with expressive eyes who loved to play dress up, especially as Barbie.

"You look great, Julie, and Johnny is a dapper Peter Pan, but they gave me the wrong costume. If it's not here, then where is it?" I sighed with a pout. Johnny and I loved to play together and Julie was tomboy enough to get into our make believe fights.

"What happened, Kelly?" Julie asked, as she came over and hugged me to her. She was always looking out for others she grew up to be a wonderful Family Doctor.

"They gave Kelly a Tinkerbell costume, not a Captain Hook," said Johnny. ['Duh! Like I said before, DENSE!!']

"Oh my, it's too late to swap it, does it fit?" Asked asked Julie as she began to study the package.

['Me wear a dress? HARDLY'] "I don't know, besides I am a boy, not a girl." I'd never worn a skirt or a dress, all though I had worn Julie's shorts and tops before, [but not her undies] when mine wore were messed up because Johnny's were too big for me.

"Why don't you wear it so we can see? If you don't like it, I will switch with you, after all, I AM a girl," Julie giggled. She always saw the bright side. She had often called me her sister Kelly whenever I wore her shorts or tops. and I I'd kinda liked it. too.

"You two promise not to make fun of me?"['Would I make a pretty girl or be a boy in a dress?'] I wondered.

"We promise," they chorused.

Then I grabbed my costume and started to put it on because I trusted them. "You need to wear pantyhose with that, "said Julie informed me.

"Why? I have never worn pantyhose before," ['What does hose feel like?']

"Because it is cold outside, and pantyhose will keep you warmer. Besides, this is the the type of pantyhose that I wear when I skate."And she always looked so darn CUTE in her skate dresses and still does.

"O.K." ['I like the way your legs look in hose, so WHY NOT??']

Then after I had disrobed, I donned the pantyhose that Julie got for me. She told me how to put the pantyhose on each foot, then gently pull them up so as to avoid any snags or runs. I liked the way the hose felt and how the way they gave me a girl's groin. Looking at myself in the mirror, all that I saw was a girl and I liked what I saw, would they like the new me too?

"Hey, now I look like you Julie." I said with a grinned. I danced around slowly to display my new look. ['I wonder if I should sing something?']

"WOW!! you sure don't look like a boy now, Kelly." said Johnny was aghast with wonder. ['Kelly looks cute s a girl.']

I felt so different wearing this stuff now that I looked like a girl. Then I went over and kissed Johnny," Thanks, Johnny" It felt right to do it, too. I was a girl kissing a boy right now.

"Just like a girl," giggled Julie giggled as she wiped her eyes. [‘Like a girl? Well, why not? I was wearing hose']

"Well, in these pantyhose, I feel like a girl." I blushed. Then I donned the costume. As I slid my legs into the costume's brief, I knew that I wanted to be Tinkerbell. When I looked in the mirror, and all that I could see was a cute ginger headed girl in a green dress. There is was no hint of boy about me and I could see that my friends thought so too.

"Kelly, you make a fantastic Tinkerbell!" Johnny He was looking me up and down I began to wonder why. I was his friend, not a girl, did he see me as a girl?

"Thanks, Johnny." Then he reached over and gently kissed me on the cheek. ["Why did you do that?" 'Was he crazy? Was I for liking it?']

"I wanted to kiss the prettiest girl at the party." he blushed. Johnny, being shy around girls, tended to blush whenever a girl paid any attention to him, and he stil .

"Thanks Johnny, but I am still a boy under all of this." [‘But I feel so wonderful, is this what Julie feels when she wears a dress?']

"I know, and you are my best friend. It's hard to believe that you make such a pretty girl. When I saw you dressed as Tinkerbell, I see a girl, not a boy." he blushed.

[‘So, he DID see me as a girl] "I am?" ['I just had to be sure.']

"Yes, who else would I let be around my sister?" he huffed. ['I only trust you, my brother, although you look like my sister now.']

"Even if I am in a dress?" ['And certain.']

"Yes."

['WOW!! I never would have guessed that.']

"Kelly, you are so pretty that I'm jealous," Julie giggled. "You look so cute as a girl, Kelly. But something is missing from the costume."

I blushed. "AWW, don't be." 'But I felt great as Tinkerbell,was I now a girl? I was beginning to like it too.']

Julie left the room for a moment. When she came back, "Not to me you ain't," she giggled as she placed a blond wig upon my head. "There now, NOW you look the part." ['Can't have Kelly's auburn hair mess up the costume.']

"What are you doing that for?" asked Johnny before I could, I was too shocked to react.

"Tinkerbell is a blond, not a redhead, like Kelly here is. Johnny, you can be oh, so dense at times." ['But I still love my brother.']

Looking at my reflection, I saw Tinkerbell, not me, "Thanks Julie, now I actually do look like Tinkerbell."

I was all so caught up in how I looked, that I totally ignored Julie and Johnny looking at me. When I did finally look at them, he was smiling at me. while she looked at me for a moment, then she went over to her jewelry box. Julie finally comes overcame back with some jewelry. "Want You want me to wear that jewelry too?"

["I've never worn jewelry before, but why not? It was only Halloween.'] "Why not?"

Then she grinned at me. "I want to see if Kelly you will make as a good Princess as I think you will now."

Soon I was wearing clip on plastic ruby earrings and matching necklace and bracelet. I looked like a Princess of the Fairies, and I felt like it, too. "I do look like a Princess," I said in awe.'[Was this really me that I see in the mirror?']

"Daddy calls me that all the time, Kelly. It makes me feel special knowing that I am my Daddy's Princess and now, you are a Princess too." she whispered in awe in my ear as if conferring a special honor.

~~~~

Johnny told me much later, he'd been thinking, ['Kelly is very pretty as Tinkerbelle. I simply can't believe that I'm seeing my best friend as a girl now. Could Kelly ever really be a girl like my sister Julie? But he's my best friend, NOT a girl. I know one thing though, even if Kelly was a girl, we'd still be best friends.']

~~~~

'Here I am wearing a dress and my two best friends see me as a girl‘ all because of a mix up in my Halloween costume. Was I a boy now or a girl? Did a dress make me a girl? If so, did I want to be one? Would my Momma want for me to be her daughter instead of her son? Did I want to be a daughter for my Momma?'

~~~~~

Julie later told me that she wondered, 'Kelly really does make a pretty Princess as I thought he would. Me, I love being able to sit upon my Daddy's lap and snuggling with him whenever we watch the movies. I feel so safe and secure with Daddy, but now that Kelly is dressing as a girl, will he want to snuggle with my Daddy too?

~~~~~~

Then Mrs. Woods came into the room . Now the mystery was solved. It turned out that she had made a mistake in picking up my costume. There was another customer there had been there that day getting their order at the same time. Mrs. Woods had simply grabbed the wrong one without noticing. She hadn't even noticed it yet. "Are you kids ready?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah!! Meet Andrea Lynn Woods, my best friends Mother. She is a tiny Oriental woman whose parents owned and operated a restaurant. When her parents, died, her husband took it over & added it to his collection of restaurants. She loves to paint and do jigsaw puzzles. She has given away framed and completed puzzles as gifts.

And her husband is Charles Tyler Woods. He is a tall and rugged blue-eyed blond who looks as if he could easily be a lumberjack with his long hair and facial hair, or the next Fabio for Doctor Ruth.

He went into the restaurant business with his Dad and expanded "Wood's Family Restaurant into a local chain catering to the different tastes after his Dad retired.. When the local grocer closed shop, Mister Woods added it to his stores as well as a catering outlet.
Since then he has opened up a Cooking School where he creates new dishes for his customers and we get to sample his creations too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yes Mom, but there has been was a mistake too in Kelly's costume." Julie answered with a pout. She could be a real Drama Queen when she wanted too.

"Oh?" Then Mrs. Woods came running into the roomturned around. When she saw me, she gasped in surprise. "Kelly, is that you wearing that Tinkerbell costume?"

"Yes ma'am." I blushed. 'This was so embarrassing. I never wanted all of this fuss that was being made over me.'

"I can't believe what a beautiful girl you make." she said in astonishment. "It's too late to get an exchange, since the store is closed for the night. Sorry about the mix up, but I must have grabbed the wrong package by mistake." I could tell that she was concerned about me and wanted to help as much as she could.

"It's alright Mrs. Woods, it's only Halloween." I smiled. 'I'm beginning to actually like the feel of pantyhose. Do girls like the feel too?'.

"No dear, I made a mistake at the costume shop, and you are paying for my mistake." then she sat down and begin to weep.

"That's alright, I forgive you." Then I kissed her on the cheek.'How could I ever be mad at you?'

"Kelly, you are such a sweet boy to feel this way." she said as she hugged me to her. I hated to see her cry.

"Thanks, I kinda like the way that pantyhose feels,too." I blushed as I admitted my secret out loud to my friends.

"Me too, Mom," agreed Johnny, in Peter Pan's green tights. He had a big grin on his face too. "Johnny looks a bit girly in those tights.'

"Well, you two boys now know one of the joys of being a girl, right Julie?"shegiggled.

"Right Momma," she agreed as she giggled back.

Then, after wiping her eyes to clear away the tears of laughter, she replaced her glasses. and asked. "Are you kids ready for dinner?"

"What's for dinner Mrs. Woods?" I was getting hungry now.

"Something to fit Halloween, of course." she snickered evilly as we followed her to the dining room. Dinner was sure different tonight, she had used food dye to turn the mashed potatoes and gravy into purple and green glop and the hamburger steaks each had an eye in the center. She really loves cooking theme dinners. After eating our dinner, we helped her to pack up the refreshments in the car. She'd volunteered to make them this year.

After we ate our dinner and cleaned up, we packed up the party supplies and headed for the school where volunteers helped us to set up tables and get ready. Mrs. Woods came dressed as The Bride Of Frankenstein and was really having fun. She'd made cookies in Halloween shapes and some nifty looking dips. She loves to cook, and events like this gave her a chance to experiment and we were her more than willing guinea pigs.

~~~~

I did not know it, but the Woods were talking about me that night.It seems that they had been worried about me for awhile with me wearing Julie's shorts and tops and looking so natural in them.

Down in the the school's kitchen, Mrs. Woods was taking a break and talking to her husband. " Honey, have you seen Kelly tonight?"

"Yes I have, Sweetie, . He is adorable. Why is he Tinkerbell?" he asked. He had come dressed as the Frankenstein monster from work.

"I got the wrong package at the shop," she began to cry. Then Mister Woods held his wife as she wept. "Why are you crying, Sweetie?"

[sniff]"I can not believe what a pretty girl Kelly makes." [sniff]" He has a natural grace and beauty about him as if he should have been born a girl, not a boy." [sniff] "Will he grow out of his feminine manner or will he stay as he is? [sniff] He looks like a girl whenever he borrows Julie's shorts and tops and he has been mistaken for a girl more than once."

"We promised his Father to help raise Kelly. If He chooses to be a girl, I will support him in his choice, will you? As for Julie's stuff, we can get him some boys stuff to keep over here."

"Of course I will, but this is my fault. Will I be forgiven? And has my mistake hurt Kelly? Will he become a girl because of me?"

"Knowing Kelly, he has forgiven you already and his Mother will too. You need to forgive yourself. If he becomes a girl, you will have simply given Kelly the means of discovering Who he really is inside"

"I know my Beloved, but we started it by letting him wear her clothes, will GOD forgive us?"

"Well, our God is a loving God, so yes, He has already forgiven us."

I didn't know it, but she was worried 'I am worried about Kelly. he has decided to be a girl whenever he comes over.I see that johnny treats him like he's a girl, but is there more to it than that? Will their friendship develop into love?'

~~~~~~~~~

When we went into the house," Mister Woods looked us over with a grin on his face. "Well, you kids look great in your costumes, I hope that Tink here didn't use up her pixie dust or we'll have everything floating away."

"Gee, Thanks, a lot Mister Woods," I curtsied. He loved to tease me, and I liked it too.

"Kelly, you're being silly," he chortled in good humor.

"Well, I do feel silly. I AM in a dress," I giggled. I so wanted to get in his lap like Julie does.

"So you are, did you have fun?"

"Uh huh, Well, except for sitting in the steel chairs, yeah."

"That's what we girls put up with when we wear skirts," Mrs. Woods giggled at the three kids.

"Not me this time!" said Julie as she giggled mischievously. "This time, I wore something warm, this costume."

"No I guess not, Julie, but Peter Pan's fanny was sure chilled," chuckled Johnny as he rubbed his fanny.

"Well now, I see that you boys learned a bit about being a girl tonight," I said Mrs. Woods with a grin. 'Set'em up.'
'
"What's that?" Johnny and I chorused together.

"That pantyhose don't stop you from freezing on a steel seat.Carry a blanket with you like I and Julie do. Time for bed." she giggled, 'Hook line and sinker'

"Mom, since my costume is a nightgown, may I sleep in it?"

"Alright, Julie, want to wear the hose too? I stated started wearing hose to bed as a girl and still do to this day. Why shouldn't you have the same fun that I do?" 'I was about your age too.'

"Well, why don't we all sleep in our costumes?" she asked.

"The boys too? Well, why not? Its only Halloween. but it's up to them"

"Me, I don't mind. It will be fun to see what tights feel like in bed." Johnny was sure feeling his legs.'I wonder if this is what Momma and Julie feels when they wear hose? They both wear hose all the time. Johnny thought.

"Well, Johnny, you're not wearing a dress, I AM." ['If you were wearing a dress, you'd think differently Johnny.']

"Oh." he said dejectedly. 'It was only an idea.'

'On no, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like that!!' "I would like to, too, but I do need to tinkle." I just couldn't see him look so pitiful.

"Well, if you want to stay dressed, you can," offered Mrs. Woods.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 4: Who's Who By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After the Halloween party, Kelly finds that being a girl is something that he wants to explore. With the support of family and friends, she starts upon a journey of a lifetime.

---

* * *
The twins looked at me with an eager, hopeful look, I knew what they wanted and I did too. We had yet to really spend anytime in the playhouse since Daddy had died a week after it was given to us and we were eager to break it in.

"OK, Mr. Woods. Can we go and sleep in the playhouse, tonight? ['It'll be as much fun to play there, but much warmer than the patio.']

"Please, Daddy! We ain't played in it properly yet," complained Julie. ['It'll be way cool to sleep on the rooftop patio, but much cooler to sleep in the Playhouse.']

"Yeah, Daddy, and we ain't got anything in it dirty, yet," supplied Johnny. ['Oh no, Momma hates it when we make an extra mess for her to clean up.']

Then Mrs. Woods spoke up, "First of all, Kelly, the correct term is 'MAY I', and 'AIN'T is NOT a word I want in your vocabulary, you two."['Time for me to 'prank' the kids for destroying my lovely feather pillows. Even though I'm able to reuse the feathers with new fabric, I still abhor such a waste. I wonder if the kids forgot about them, so soon? Looks like it from their downcast looks.']

Then Momma got into the act, "Besides, we NEVER agreed to you kids staying there by yourselves, overnight. I personally have my doubts about during the day!" ['I hate the idea of them spending the night in there, alone, at least for now. ['I abhor the idea of the kids being alone at anytime, let alone here. Later on, they can be here alone, when they get older. I wish that Stu, Debbie and I could have had something like this on the farm.']

Our hopes were completely dashed when Mister Woods chimed in, "Well, kids. Your mothers have spoken; I will not gainsay them in this." ['I had the Playhouse built for the kids and us adults, too. We will all need some playtime to unwind from the stresses of life. And the kids need it because I am afraid that they'll get hurt, running up and down the stairs of the Guest House.']

I sighed, "OK, Momma, I apologize to Mrs. Woods for using the wrong word," I began to cry. ['Why are they being so mean to us?']

Then my momma grinned, "Got'cha, you little scamps."

Mister Woods let out a chuckle, "The look on your faces was priceless, I think that you've paid the price for those pillows."

"They have, besides, now I can use the feathers to make a comforter or quilt," Mrs. Woods smirked.

Then we swarmed the adults after I yelled, "ATTACK!!"

Needless to say, it was a free for all of tickling until we stopped when Julie pee'ed herself. Then we went and got ready for bed. We had fun that night. The adults popped popcorn, and got out bottles of soda while we kids got the movie ready. We watched the latest Godzilla movie, then went to bed in the playhouse and were soon asleep.

I felt as if I was a girl and I wanted to be one. I fell asleep thinking about being a girl. I had a dream where I was born a girl, and Daddy was alive. In it, I grew up to look just like Momma. But, best of all, there were no bad dreams. Usually When I sleep alone, I dream about Daddy dying and the funeral. It ends with Daddy as a zombie, coming for me.

When I woke up the next morning, I got up, went inside to watch cartoons and wait for breakfast. The Woods at times would go out for a buffet and invite me to go with them if Momma was working, then we'd make it a day full of fun by going to play miniature golf, skating or bowling.

Then that night, we'd either go to the movies or see one of the many tapes that were in their basement. The Woods collected movies and T.V. programs on C.D.s and video cassettes. We hardly ever watched live television. The only live programs we'd watch were sports and the news. I had tinkled and washed up, but I was still Tinkerbell.

* * *

Let me tell you about the Playhouse. It was on Julie and Johnny's fifth birthday that we got it. Mister Woods had bought four old tool sheds that were no longer needed, so he brought them to the estate where he had them connected and turned into a playhouse for us kids. The ceiling was quite low for an adult, but perfect for us kids and even for Momma and Mrs. Woods as they are both tiny.

The furniture is hand-made and each room is paneled and carpeted. There is a full kitchen and bathroom and three bedrooms, the biggest serving as den. Each bedroom has an entertainment center and central heat and air.

Whenever we spent the night, the rule was that we'd have breakfast in the kitchen of the Manor House. The Playhouse was and still is a snug little building. When the Woods gave it to us on the twins last birthday, they made quite a show of it.

We kids saw a truck pull into the backyard and stop near where Mister Woods had built a brick foundation, "Mister Woods, what are you doing?" ['Oh boy! Is this for Julie and Johnny's birthday party?"]

He let out a chuckle, "Preparing a birthday present for Julie and Johnny, Kelly." ['Kelly is so curious, I wonder if he's part cat?']

"Really?? What is it?" I tried to peek, but he gently shooed me away and had a smile on his face, so I knew that it was something very special.

"It's a secret, you'll find out on their birthday. If I tell you, you'll tell them in nothing flat. I want it to be a surprise, Scamp."

"Darn!! Have to wait," I pouted. I was hoping that my pout would change his mind.

Then he picked me up in a bear hug, "Oh, Kelly. This gift is as much for you as it is for them. I feel as if you're my son, I love you so much. When I became your Godfather, I adopted you and your mother in my Heart. I will NEVER regret it, either." ['He still tries to pout his way into getting thing like he did with Stu.']

Then I cried as I gave him a peck on the cheek, "Thanks, Mister Woods, but I still miss Daddy." ['Daddy, I miss you every day, but I know that you're looking out for me and Momma from up in Heaven.']

"I know. To lose your dad at such a young age is a tragedy that I hope that I can help you with." ['I love Kelly as much as I do my own kids. What does the future hold for him? Will he be happy?']

Then he took me to the kitchen, and set me down at the breakfast bar. I looked up at him and saw him openly weeping.

"Why are you crying? You never cry!"

"Because, I too miss your daddy, [sniff] we were best friends. [Sniff] We grew up together, [sniff] and when you were born, [sniff] he asked me and my wife to be your Godparents. [Sniff] When your daddy died, [sniff] we adopted you and your mother. Now I feel as if I'm your daddy." [And I know that ' Lynn ' feels that she is your second mother too.']

"I love you too, Mister Woods, [sniff, sniff] ever since Daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been like a daddy to me. And Mrs. Woods as been a second mother to me, [sniff, sniff] and Momma thinks the world of you, [sniff, sniff]. But...."

"You both miss your daddy." ['Dear Lord, protect Kelly, he's so vulnerable right now.']

Then I wept bitter tears of mourning for Daddy while Mister Woods carried me to Mrs. Woods who was painting another picture. What's wrong with Kelly, Charlie?" [Looks like they've both been crying.']

"Kelly is missing his daddy. I guess he needs to nap right now." ['I could use one myself, but I gotta go to work.']

"Thanks, Mister Woods. A nap sounds fine to me. I am kinda sleepy." ['Will I have pleasant dreams?']

"Then snuggle down on the sofa, dear." ['Lord, please keep the bad dreams away from Kelly.'] Then she pulled back the quilt covering the sofa.

"You just rest a bit, Kelly. Remember that you're family here." ['Am I ever glad that my kids and Chuck are still living.']

Then Mister Woods gently lay me upon the soft cushions of the sofa and covered me with a quilt. I was soon fast asleep dreaming about Daddy being alive.

* * *////-

Johnny and Julie woke me up later for lunch, that's when I told everybody why I don't have anymore nightmares. I had dreamed about Daddy and me, about the last time that he had held me. This time, it did not end in a nightmare, but ended with Daddy still alive.

I felt somebody shaking me, "Wake up, sleepy head, or you'll miss lunch," said Julie. ['WOW! Kelly didn't have a bad dream like he usually does when alone.']

"Yeah, Kelly. Your Momma is making everybody burgers and fries. Her's are better than Daddy's, and she won't tell him her secret." ['Will she tell Kelly? Or does he already know? Wait! How can he? He's MY age.']

I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my cap, "Yummy!!! I'm coming!! Is your daddy here too?" ['I hope he is, because I want to tell everybody at the same time.']

"Yep, why do you ask?" ['And why is he so happy? It's like he didn't have a bad dream.']

Once I had the cap on, I kicked the covers off, "Because I've got something important to say to everybody, Johnny." ['An end to my bad dreams.']

Then Julie pointed to my crotch, "Careful, Kelly, or you'll flash me, Julie giggled. ['I don't know how many times he's seen my panty, but I don't want to see his.']

During the nap, I'd thrown the quilt off and before sleeping had removed my shorts. The shirt that I was wearing was one of Johnny's; its hem went to mid thigh on me.

"Then, turn away, Nosey," I laughed.

After donning the shorts I'd borrowed from Julie, we headed down to lunch on the patio where Momma was grilling the burgers. She looked comical wearing that chef's hat and multi-colored apron that we kids had made from some old quilting scraps, but she was having fun flipping the burgers, and corn on the cob. While Mrs. Woods was bringing out potato salad, Mister Woods was pouring the drinks.

"One sleeping beauty delivered as ordered," Johnny called out. ['Ever since seeing that movie, Sleeping Beauty, I've wanted to say that.']

"Well, about time you woke up, Sleepyhead," Mister Woods chuckled. ['Talk about bright eyed, and bushy tailed, Kelly sure looks happy. If he was a puppy, he'd be romping around, barking happily.']

"Yeah, he's up just in time to eat as usual," giggled Mrs. Woods. ['Just like a certain Hobbit in Lord Of The Rings.']

"Hey, I didn't wake up on my own, Julie and Johnny woke me up," I laughed. ['I wonder if she saw my undies.']

"Only because you'd be impossible to be around if you missed my grilled burgers, Kelly," Momma smirked. ['Just like your daddy, GOD how I miss him.']

"Yeah, then I'd have to tickle you," giggled Julie. ['And get you to wee yourself.']

"O.K., I give up, let's eat. I'm hungry!!" I exclaimed. ['Julie loves tickling me.']

Then Momma placed a platter of burgers and a platter of roasted corn on the table while Mrs. Woods placed the potato salad and Mister Woods placed two pitchers of sweet tea on the table. The patio was under an awning with mosquito netting to prevent bugs from bugging us; it also held a sink and cupboard as well as a cooler.

Momma began to inspect my hands, "Have you kids washed up?" ['He has a bad habit of forgetting.']

"Yes, Momma. But you and the Woods need too, also," I smirked. ['It's so much fun to tease Momma.']

Then Momma grabbed a towelette from the sink and wiped her hands, "Don't worry about us, we used wet naps." ['I'm glad to see him teasing me, means that he's happy again.']

Julie tugged on her daddy's arm, "Daddy, who's gonna say the Blessing? Hope it's not too long a prayer, I'm hungry!"

Then I called out, "May I, because I have something to tell." ['Mister Woods usually prays, hope he lets me.']

Mister Woods smiled, "Go ahead, Sport." ['I can tell that it's important to you.']

Then after everybody closed their eyes, I prayed, "Jesus, I wanna thank you for lunch, and Momma and the Woods. I miss Daddy, and I've had bad dreams ever since he died. Thanks for taking them away. Amen."

Then Momma smiled and dabbed her eyes from crying. "Oh! My son, [sniff, sniff] ever since your daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been having nightmares if by yourself. [Sniff, sniff] You've had to sleep with somebody; get woke up before you dreamed about your daddy. [Sniff] How long have the bad dreams stopped Kelly?"[Sniff, sniff] ['I've prayed for this, now my prayers are answered.']

Then Mrs. Woods hugged Momma, "Oh, Terri. I know you're happy, Charlie and I share in your happiness." ['My sister by choice.']

"Ever since I started wearing Julie and Johnny's clothes, Momma." [I wish I knew why though.']

Then Mister Woods patted my hand, "I think that I know why, Kelly. Want me to tell?" [I've been reading about nightmares, and I think that I have an answer for him.']

"Why, Mister Woods?"

"You feel safe in their clothes just as you do when sleeping with them or us." [Ever since my best friend died, you've needed the security of your friends and family.']

"You know, you're right. I DO feel safe and secure."

Lunch that day was especially scrumptious!! From that day onward, I always wore one of either Julie's or Johnny's tops to sleep in, and at times I dreamed about being a girl, too.

* * *

Then on their birthday, he called us out to the new building. Momma and Mrs. Woods had taken us kids out to the zoo. It was a real treat because pets were banned because of allergies. Only Momma and I were allergy free.

He made a big show of unlocking the front door, "Julie, Johnny and Kelly, This building is our gift to you, this year." ['It's finally time. Been waiting to do this all summer. Too bad that Stu isn't here, we worked hard on it.']

"But, Mister Woods, my birthday is next week!! "

"True, Kelly, but we decided to celebrate all of your birthdays today, for a very special reason."

"Why is that, Charlie?" [He seems to be hiding something.']

"Andrea, Stu and I were busy planning this all summer. We kept it at his log cabin. That's why we were gone two weekends a month. So this is our gift to our children. Unfortunately, it's also our last gift," he sighed. ['Stu, you were my Best Friend, still are. I will raise your son, Kelly, as my own.']

Momma hugged him, "Thank you, Charlie! This Playhouse will be a solid reminder of the love that you and Stu shared. I just knew that you two had something planned; now I know." ['The Dynamic Duo strikes again.']

Mrs. Woods giggled, "Ever since you two were boys in school, you two have built school projects, scenes in school plays, and boats, and cars. But this is the best of all."

"Momma, what else did Daddy and Mister Moore build?"

"They built Stu's log cabin, as well as everything here on the estate, Johnny. Why?" ['Could he want to do the same?']

He shrugged, "Well, he and Dad did things together, I thought that it'd cool to compare."

"Me too, Johnny, but what'll we do on MY birthday?"

"Don't worry, Kelly. I'll have a party for you and Johnny and Julie, next week."

"Thanks, Momma," I grinned, and then I hugged her.

Then we explored the building and found it to be quite comfy. There were loads of toys and games in each room and the kitchen was filled with our favorite snacks and drinks. In the bedrooms, we found that we each had clothes set aside for us.

We were itching to get to the snack tray that Mrs. Woods had prepared when Mister Woods announced, "This building is your playhouse, kids. You are free to spend the weekend sleeping here as long as your Mother, Mrs. Moore or I come too.

"Daddy, I saw only one bed in each bedroom, where will the adult sleep?"

"Each bedroom has a sofa bed and air mattress, Johnny."

"What about during the week, Daddy?"

"You can play in the playhouse and watch T.V. But you will eat dinner and sleep in the house, Julie."

Then we had a snack supper in the kitchen and watched T.V. and went to bed in our old bedrooms.

* * *

I never thought that I'd be spending the night in it dressed as a girl. But this was to be the first of many nights as I discovered the girl within me.

When Mister Woods saw me, he came over looking concerned. He sat down by me and was looking me over. Finally, he sighed. "Kelly, I see that you're still in your costume. Didn't you bring a change of clothes to wear with you?"

"Yes, sir." ['Am I in trouble for not changing? Was there anything said about changing last night?']

"Then, why are you still Tinkerbell?" He looked so concerned, but I was so confused about everything.

"I like wearing a dress," I sniffed. ['Will he understand even when I don't?']

Then he sat by me and sat me in his lap. WOW! I was finally in his lap like Julie, was I now his Princess now that I was in a dress? I liked the way that his hand felt as he held me.

"Kelly?" He smiled warmly at me.

"Yes, Mister Woods?"

"Do you want to be a girl, like Julie?"

Mister Woods was the Father that I never had. Here he was being so nice to me. For some reason, I knew that I could trust him. He was always making sure that he spent time with me. As I grew up, we have spent many a Saturday afternoon alone fishing and talking about things.

"I don't know, all that I know is that I like the feel of hose and skirts," I sniffed. I had finally admitted it out loud and it felt good. ['Come to think about it, I wonder if Johnny likes wearing hose, too?']

"Well, you have worn Julie's tops and shorts before. I don't really see the problem."

['Huh? No Problem!! Am I hearing right?'] "Yes, Sir, but not her undies. And this dress has attached undies," Then I lifted the skirt to show him. "See?"

Then he blushed and reached over and lowered my skirt back down and patted my hand. "I see what you mean, now. You never looked like a girl before, and now that you do, you are confused."

He had given voice to my inner conflict that I could not utter in my distress. He was so wise; no wonder Mrs. Woods married him. If I could have, I'd have married him then.

Then I hugged him, "Yes sir, I don't know what I am right now," I cried as I wept on his shirt.

I sure did give his shirt a good soaking as he comforted me. I felt his hands holding me under my fanny as his arm supported my back just like he did Julie. That strangely comforted me to be treated like a daughter. ['Does he think of me as a daughter now? Does it even matter to him?']

After I had cried myself out, he kissed me on the forehead and sat me on the sofa again, "Kelly, if you want, you can by a girl, whenever you're over here."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" ['Was this a dream? Would I really get to be a girl over here?']

"I guess that it is time to share my secret with you, Kelly, I knew a boy years ago that wore a dress on Halloween and wore pantyhose too, when that boy went to school wearing that dress, the other boys made fun of him," he sighed as he remembered. And I could see a few tears in his eyes too.

"That was mean of them. Did anything happen after that?"

"Those boys apologized for being mean and they all became friends."

"That's nice, too bad they were mean, though."

"Yes, and I don't want that to happen to you. Can you guess who that boy was?"

Then I asked in insight, "Was that boy, you?"

Then he chuckled, "Yes, you are a smart one, Kelly, let this be our secret."

"Sure thing, Mister Woods, Was that a one time thing?"

"Yes, Kelly. I never did it again, I did it for Halloween. ['He saw my secret, yet he accepts it. He is so innocent and without guile or deceit.']

"O.K., Mister Woods." This was the very first secret that I had of his to keep and I kept it safe. I learned later that he told Julie and Johnny, years later.

Then Mrs. Woods came in from the kitchen and sat by me, "Kelly would you like to be able to dress as a girl over here?"

Mrs. Woods was always kind and gentle with me. Whenever I had a boo boo, she'd kiss it to make it better just like she did for her kids. I was like her third child, in many ways.

"Yes, Ma'am." I gushed thankfully. ['I get to be a girl! YIPPEE!!!']

"If you do, you will wear a skirt or dress and hose."

"Why hose? And what about jeans and sweats? What is so special about hose? Not that I mind."

"Because it is getting colder now, Dear, but if you wish, you can wear hose with jeans and sweats too. Thanks for reminding me, I totally forgot how hose feels under my jeans since I mainly wear dresses and skirts, nowadays."

"Oh, what about shorts?"

"Alright, shorts as well," she giggled.

Then I got scared. "Why are you being so nice to me?" ['Was I sick? I didn't feel sick.']

"Kelly, dear. You are best friends with our children, and I heard you and Charlie talking about his secret. I was there, too, along with your parents. I don't want YOU hurt like he was. My husband is a sweet and gentle man. Very much like your father. In fact, your dad stood up to the bullies, and that was when their friendship started."

['WOW!! I never knew that!!'] "Thanks."

Then I gave them both a big kiss and hug as Julie and Johnny came down still in their costumes. I was getting used to pantyhose now. I liked the way that made me feel and how the made my legs look better.

"I see that Tinkerbell is up," Johnny chuckled.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. He was embarrassing me on purpose too. I could tell by that grin on his face. But he did look good in his tights.

"Children, we need to talk," informed Mister Woods. Then they sat down across from us, looking worried.

"Are we in trouble, Daddy?" Sitting down, Johnny looked like a girl too, no bulge in his tights.

"No, Julie, but we need to talk about Kelly, here."

"What's wrong with Kelly?" Julie looked a bit silly scrunching up her face as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Kelly found out that he likes to wear dresses and skirts, Julie, he has worn your things before, may he wear your dresses, too?"

"Sure he can, and then I'll have a sister." ['It'll be fun to have a sister.']

"And I will have a girlfriend." ['Why did I say that? Kelly is a boy, not a girl but he does look like a girl, now.']

"ME? A GIRLFRIEND? IS HE CRAZY?" I was actually beginning to like that idea too. I began to see me dresses like Julie, and Johnny and I playing together.

"Johnny, Kelly is a boy, not a girl," said Mister Woods with a frown. ['I have to nip this in the bud, before either of them gets hurt.']

Then I saw Johnny's jaw drop as Julie tittered as she fell backwards. I was afraid that she'd wet herself because I was laughing at Johnny, too. I found out later that she did wet herself.

"Sheesh! I KNOW that, Dad. But I think Kelly is so cool to want to dress as a girl, and he is so pretty too," he blushed. ['Uh oh!! I think that I got Dad mad at me.']

"And it is up to Kelly, if he is your girlfriend when he wears a dress, NOT YOU." ['Stu, I wish that you were here. I desperately need your gentle wisdom.']

"I know, Dad. I'd NEVER want to hurt Kelly!"

"Why do you wanna see me in a dress, Johnny?"

"Golly, gee, Kelly! You're my Bestest Friend in all the world! And the prettiest girl, too!" he blushed. ['Will Kelly think me silly?']

"Johnny, you're my Bestest Friend, too. But Julie is the prettiest to me."

I got kissed, and hugged by Julie, "Thanks, Kelly!"

Then Mister Woods smiled at Johnny," That's good, Johnny."

"It is? Why?"

"You actually accept Kelly dressing as a girl. This is important to him."

"I know, Daddy, it's just that," he started to fidget," well, I want to protect Kelly when he is a girl, just like I do my sister, Julie."

"That's very good, Johnny, treat Kelly like you do your sister. Be there for Kelly when he is a girl, because that's when he will need you."

Then I looked at him, ['Am I hearing right, his sister?'] "Johnny, you mean that you think of me as a sister when I wear a dress?"

"SHEESH!! YEAH!! You are my brother that I never had, why not my sister, too?" he was blushing big time.

I never knew that he felt this way about me. Then I went over and gave him a kiss and hug that he sheepishly returned, "Thanks, Johnny, I would love to be your sister, and I know that you will be a great brother to me." Then I went and sat back down. ['I wonder if Daddy would approve? I miss not having a real daddy.]

"Julie, you will have to teach Kelly about being a girl. I know that you'll love having Kelly as your new sister to teach."

"O.K., Daddy, It will be fun," she giggled. "It will be fun teaching Kelly how to be a girl."

"And DO NOT either of you tell anybody about Kelly either."

"Why not, Daddy?" they chorused.

"Because it is to be our secret, only we and his mother shall know."

* * *

From that day onward, I learned all about being a girl from Julie. She had several duplicates of her "BARBIE" costumes and she gave them to me to put in the playhouse. When Momma found out, she agreed and let me keep some of Julie's clothes in my room. She let me wear girls clothes at night if I wanted to. The only thing was that she never asked me to be a girl. And I was afraid to do it without her asking me.

* * *
I later learned that Julie was thinking; ['Kelly makes such a sweet and wonderful girl that I'm glad that she is my part-time sister. I like it whenever he wears my tops and shorts so much that I kept a set ready for him and now that he is gonna be wearing dresses and hose, I get to teach him manners too.']

* * *

While this was happening, Aunt Debbie was talking with my grandparents about me. She was worried about my future for she saw a lot of her in me. They were in the dining room and had just finished dinner, "Momma, Daddy, I need to talk about something, please." ['My nightmare brought this up. Will I ever be free of it?']

Granny looked over at Grandpa who nodded, "What is it, child?" ['Debbie has been shaky all day. This is about her recurring nightmare.']

"After seeing Kelly, when they came up, I am afraid for him." [Lord, I don't want for Kelly to suffer as I have.']

"Whatever for, Pumpkin? Has anybody threatened my grandson?" ['She must be thinking about her transition, Lord, please NOT Kelly!!!']

"No, Daddy. [Sniff, sniff] But it's almost as bad, [sniff, sniff] I can see that Kelly will transition, one day," she cried.

Then Grandpa slammed his palm on the table, startling my aunt, "Debbie, know this, I was not able to stop your pain, but I WILL NOT FAIL KELLY!! YOU UNDERSTAND!?" ['I failed my son, then. Now he is my daughter. My living nightmare.']

Then my auntie went and hugged Grandpa, "Oh, Daddy!! If you hadn't been there after I got hurt, I'd have killed myself! If not for your love and Granny's wisdom, I wouldn't have had the strength to continue! I hope that Kelly will be spared my pain!" ['Lord, if not for Daddy, I'd be dead now.']

Then Granny took my auntie's chin in her hand, "Debbie, are you SURE about Kelly?"

"Yes, Momma, I am." ['My nightmare shall not be yours if I can help it, Kelly.']

Then Grandpa began to cry, "Debbie, if I hadn't of placed the farm ahead of being your escort at Homecoming, you would still be my son. Those idiots took away your manhood and raped Terri. If young Stu hadn't of been there, I dread to think what they'd have done."

"Daddy, Stu was there and he stopped them. When he saw Terri, he had no mercy on them. If the Police hadn't arrived, he would've killed them. THAT'S why he became a Police Officer instead of a Park Ranger."

"Debbie, Joe, we can not help it if linden caused a black mark to be placed on Stu's record. If not for the then Detective Branch, Stu would never have been a Police Officer."

"Yes, and now we must be ready to help his son. I vow to not fail him as I did you!"

"Daddy, you have NEVER failed me. "

"That's right, my love, please forgive yourself."

"Only after I help Kelly."

I did not know it, but without their dedication at that time, my journey would not be complete. 

After the Halloween party, Kelly finds that being a girl is something that he wants to explore. With the support of family and friends, she starts upon a journey of a lifetime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The twins looked at me with an eager, hopeful look,I knew what they wanted and I did too. We had yet to really spend anytime in the playhouse since daddy had died a week after it was given to us and we were eager to break it in.

"OK Mr. Woods, can we sleep in the playhouse?['As much fun as my balcony, but warmer.']

"Please daddy, we ain't played in it properly yet," complained Julie. ['It'll be fun to sleep on the rooftop patio or by the fireplace tonight.']

"Yeah daddy, and we ain't got anything in it dirty yet." supplied Johnny. [Oh oh, momma hates for us to make an extra mess for her to clean up.']

Then Mrs. Woods spoke up, "First of all Kelly, the correct term is 'MAY I', and 'AIN'T is NOT a word I want in your vocabulary you two." ['Time to "PRANK" the kids for those ruined pillows. I wonder if they forgot so soon, looks like it from their downcast looks.*giggle*']

Then momma got into the act, "Besides, we NEVER agreed to you kids staying there by yourselves overnight. I personally have my doubts about during the day! ['I hate the idea of them alone overnight in there at least for now, Later on, they can be alone when they are older. Until then, an adult is needed.']

Our hopes were completely dashed when Mister Woods chimed in, "Well kids, the mothers have spoken, I will not gainsay them in this." ['I had the playhouse built for them and us for when we need some playtime. The kids needed it it because I was afraid that they'd fall and hurt themselves on the stairs going up and down in the Guesthouse.']

[sigh] "OK momma, I apologize Mrs. Woods for using the wrong word, I began to cry.

Then my momma grinned, "Got'cha you little scamps."

"The look on your faces was priceless, I think that you've paid the price for those pillows."

"They have, besides, now I can use the feathers to make a comforter or quilt."

Then we swarmed the adults after I yelled, "ATTACK!!"

Needless to say, it was a free for all of tickling until we stopped when Julie wee'ed herself. Then we went and got ready for bed. We went to bed in the playhouse and were soon asleep. I felt as if I was a girl and I wanted to be one. I fell asleep thinking about being a girl.

I had a dream where I was born a girl, and my Daddy was alive. In it, I grew up to look just like my Momma. But best of all, there were no bad dreams. Usually When I sleep alone, I dream about daddy dying and the funeral. It ends with daddy as a zombie coming for me.

When I woke up the next morning, I got up, went inside to watch cartoons and wait for breakfast. The Woods at times would go out for a buffet and invite me to go with them if momma was working, then we'd make it a day full of fun by going to play miniature golf, skating or bowling.

Then that night, we'd either go to the movies or see one of the many tapes that were in their basement. The Woods collected movies and T.V. programs on C.D.s and video cassettes. We hardly ever watched live television. The only live programs we'd watch were sports and the news. I had tinkled and washed up, but I was still Tinkerbell.

~~~~~~~~~~

Let me tell you about the playhouse. It was on Julie and Johnny's fifth birthday that we got it. Mister Woods had bought four old tool sheds that were no longer needed, so he brought them to the estate where he had them connected and turned into a playhouse for us kids. The ceiling was quite low for an adult, but perfect for us kids or my Momma or Mrs. Woods as they are both tiny.

The furniture is hand-made and each room is paneled and carpeted. There is a full kitchen and bathroom and three bedrooms. the biggest serving as den. Each bedroom has an entertainment center and central heat and air.

Whenever we spent the night, the rule was that we'd have breakfast in the kitchen of the big house. The playhouse was and still is a snug little building. When the Woods gave it to us on the twins last birthday, they made quite a show of it.

We kids saw a truck pull into the backyard and stop near where Mister Woods had built a brick foundation, "Mister Woods, what are you doing?" ['Is this for the birthday party?']

"Preparing a birthday present for Julie and Johnny, Kelly." ['He's so curious, must be part cat.' chuckle]

"Really?? What is it?" I tried to peek, but he gently shooed me away and had a smile on his face, so I knew that it was something very special.

"It's a secret, you'll find out on their birthday." ['If I tell him, he'll blab it to my kids in nothing flat.']

"Darn!! Have to wait," I pouted. I was hoping that my pout would change his mind.

Then he picked me up in a bear hug, "Oh Kelly, This gift is as much for you as it is for them. I feel as if you're my son, I love you so much." ['When I became your Godfather, I adopted you in my heart and I will never regret it.']

"Then I cried as I gave him a peck on the cheek, " Thanks Mister Woods, but I still miss my Daddy." ['Daddy, I miss you every day, but I know that you're looking out for me and momma from up in Heaven.']

"I know," he wept. ['To lose your dad at such a young age is a tragedy that I hope that I can help you with.'] Then he took me to the kitchen & set me down at the breakfast bar. I looked up at him and saw him openly weeping.

"Why are you crying?" [He never cries.']

"Because I too miss your daddy,[sniff] we were best friends.[sniff] We grew up together,[sniff] and when you were born,[sniff] he asked me and my wife to be your Godparents.[sniff] When your daddy died, [sniff] we adopted you and your Mother. Now I feel as if I'm your daddy." [And I know that **Lynn** feels that she is your second mother too.']

"I love you to Mister Woods, [sniff, sniff] ever since daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been like a daddy to me. And Mrs. Woods as been a second mother to me, [sniff, sniff] and momma thinks the world of you, [sniff, sniff]. but...."

"You both miss your daddy." [' Dear Lord, protect Kelly, he's so vulnerable right now.']

Then I wept bitter tears of mourning for daddy while Mister Woods carried me to Mrs. Woods who was painting another picture, What's wrong with Kelly Charlie?" [Looks like they've both been crying.']

"Kelly is missing his daddy. I guess he needs to nap right now." ['I could use one myself, but I gotta go to work.']

"Thanks Mister Woods, a nap sounds fine to me." ['I am kinda sleepy.']

"Then snuggle down on the sofa dear." ['Lord, please keep the bad dreams away from Kelly.'] Then she pulled back the quilt covering the sofa.

"You just rest a bit Kelly, remember that you're family here." ['Am I ever glad that my kids and Stu are still living.'] Then Mister Woods gently lay me upon the soft cushions of the sofa and covered me with a quilt. I was soon fast asleep dreaming about Daddy being alive.

Johnny and Julie woke me up later for lunch. That's when I told everybody why I don't have anymore nightmares. I had dreamed about my daddy and me the last time that he had held me. This time, it did not end in a nightmare, but ended with daddy still alive.

I felt somebody shaking me shoulder, "Wake up sleepy head, or you'll miss lunch, said Julie. ['WOW!! Kelly didn't have a bad dream like he usually does when alone.'

"Yeah Kelly, your momma is making everybody burgers and fries." [' Hers are better than daddy's , and she won't tell him her secret.']

I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my cap, "Yummy!!! I'm coming!! Is your daddy here too?" ['I hope he is cause I want to tell everybody at the same time.']

"Yep, why do you ask?" ['And why is he so happy? It's like he didn't have a bad dream.']

Once I had the cap on, I kicked the covers off, "Because I've got something important to say to everybody, Johnny." ['An end to my bad dreams.']

Then Julie pointed to my crotch, "Careful Kelly, or you'll flash me, Julie giggled. ['I don't know how many times he's seen my panty, but I don't want to see his.']

During the nap, I'd thrown the quilt off and before sleeping had removed my shorts. The shirt that I was wearing was one of Johnny's, its hem went to mid thigh on me.

"Then turn away nosey." I laughed.

After donning the shorts I'd borrowed from Julie, we headed down to lunch on the patio where momma was grilling the burgers. She looked comical wearing that chef's hat and multi-colored apron that we kids had made from old quilting scraps, but she was having fun flipping the burgers and corn on the cob while Mrs. Woods was bringing out potato salad. Mister Woods was pouring the drinks.

"One sleeping beauty delivered as ordered," Johnny called out. ['Ever since seeing that movie, I've wanted to say that.']

"Well, about time you woke up sleepyhead, Mister Woods chuckled. ['Talk about bright eyed, Kelly sure looks happy.']

"Yeah, he's up just in time to eat as usual," giggled Mrs. Woods. ['Just like a certain Hobbit in Lord Of The Rings.']

"Hey, I didn't wake up on my own, Julie and Johnny woke me up," I laughed. ['I wonder if she saw my undies.']

"Only because you'd be impossible to be around if you missed my grilled burgers Kelly," Momma smirked. ['Just like your daddy, GOD how I miss him.']

"Yeah, then I'd have to tickle you," giggled Julie. ['And get you to wee yourself.']

"O.K., I give up, let's eat, I'm hungry!!" I exclaimed. ['Julie loves tickling me.']

Then Momma placed a platter of burgers and a platter of roasted corn on the table while Mrs. Woods placed the potato salad and Mister Woods placed two pitchers of sweet tea on the table. The patio was under an awning with mosquito netting to prevent bugs from bugging us, it also held a sink and cupboard as well as a cooler.

Momma began to inspect my hands, "Have you kids washed up?" ['He has a bad habit of forgetting.']

"Yes Momma, but you and the Woods need to also, I smirked. ['It's fun to tease Momma.']

Then Momma grabbed a towelette from the sink and wiped her hands. "Don't worry about us, we used wet naps." ['I'm glad to see him teasing me, means that he's happy again.']

Julie tugged on her daddy's arm, "Daddy, who's gonna say the blessing?" ['Hope its not too long a prayer, I'm hungry.']

Then I called out, "May I, because I have something to tell." ['Mister Woods usually prays, hope he lets me.']

"Go ahead Sport." ['I can tell that it's important to you.']

Then after everybody closed their eyes, I prayed, "Jesus, I wanna thank you for lunch and my momma and the Woods. I miss my daddy, and I've had bad dreams ever since he died. Thanks for taking them away. Amen."

Then momma smiled and dabbed her eyes from crying. "Oh my son, [sniff, sniff] ever since your daddy died, [sniff, sniff] you've been having nightmares is by yourself. [sniff, sniff] How long have the bad dreams stopped Kelly?"[sniff, sniff] ['I've prayed for this, now my prayers are answered.']

Then Mrs. Woods hugged my momma, "Oh Lynn, I know you're happy, Stu and I share in your happiness." ['My sister by choice.']

"Ever since I started wearing Julie and Johnny's clothes momma." [I wish I knew why though.']

Then Mister Woods patted my hand, "I think that I know why Kelly." [I've been reading about nightmares, and I think that I have an answer for him.']

"Why Mister Woods?"

"You feel safe in their clothes just as you do when sleeping with them or us." [Ever since my best friend died, you've needed the security of your friends and family.']

"You know, your right, I DO feel safe and secure."

Lunch that day was especially scrumptious!! From that day onward, I always wore one of either Julie's or Johnny's tops to sleep in, and at times I dreamed about being a girl too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then on their birthday, he called us out to the new building, Julie, Johnny and Kelly, This building is our gift to you this year."

"But Mister Woods, my birthday is next week!! "

"True Kelly, but we decided to celebrate all of your birthdays today."

"Don't worry Kelly, I'll have a party for you and Johnny and Julie next week."

"Thanks momma," Then I hugged her.

Then we explored the building and found it to be quite comfy. There were loads of toys and games in each room and the kitchen was filled with our favorite snacks and drinks. In the bedrooms, we found that we each had clothes set aside for us.

We were itching to get to the snack tray that Mrs. Woods had prepared when Mister Woods announced, "This building is your playhouse kids. You are free to spend the weekend sleeping here as long as me, your Mother or Mrs. Moore comes too."

"Daddy, I saw only one bed in each bedroom, where will the adult sleep?"

"Each bedroom has a sofa bed and air mattress Johnny."

"What about during the week Daddy?"

"You can play in the playhouse and watch T.V. But you will eat dinner and sleep in the house Julie."

Then we had a snack supper in the kitchen and watched T.V. and went to bed in our old bedrooms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never thought that I'd be spending the night in it dressed as a girl. But this was to be the first of many nights as I discovered the girl within me.

When Mister Woods saw me, he came over looking concerned. He sat down by me and was looking me over. Finally, he sighed. "Kelly, I see that you're still in your costume. Didn't you bring a change of clothes to wear with you?"

"Yes sir." ['Am I in trouble for not changing? Was there anything said about changing last night?']

"Then why are you still Tinkerbell?" He looked so concerned, but I was so confused about everything.

"I like wearing a dress," I sniffed.['Will he understand even when I don't?']Then he sat by me and sat me in his lap. WOW! I was finally in his lap like Julie, was I now his Princess now that I was in a dress? I liked the way that his hand felt as he held me.

"Kelly?" He smiled warmly at me.

"Yes Mister Woods?"

"Do you want to be a girl like Julie?"

Mister Woods was the Father that I never had. Here he was being so nice to me. For some reason,,I knew that I could trust him. He was always making sure that he spent time with me. As I grew up, we have spent many a Saturday afternoon alone fishing & talking about things.

"I don't know, all that I know is that I like the feel of hose and skirts," I sniffed. I had finally admitted it out loud and it felt good. 'Come to think about it, I wonder if Johnny likes wearing hose too?'

"Well, you have worn Julie's tops and shorts before. I don't really see the problem."

'Huh? No Problem!! Am I hearing right?' "Yes sir, but not her undies. And this dress has attached undies." Then I lifted the skirt to show him. " See?"

Then he blushed and reached over and lowered my skirt back down and patted my hand. "I see what you mean now, you never looked like a girl before and now that you do, you are confused."

He had given voice to my inner conflict that I could not utter in my distress. He was so wise, no wonder Mrs. Woods married him. If I could have, I'd have married him then.

Then I hugged him, "Yes sir, I don't know what I am right now," I cried as I wept on his shirt. I sure did give his shirt a good soaking as he comforted me. I felt his hands holding me under my fanny as his arm supported my back just like he did Julie. That strangely comforted me to be treated like a daughter. 'Does he think of me as a daughter now? Does it even matter to him? '

After I had cried myself out, he kissed me on the forehead and sat me on the sofa again. "Kelly, if you want, you can by a girl whenever you're over here."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Was this a dream? Would I really get to be a girl over here?'

"I guess that it is time to share my secret with you Kelly, I knew a boy years ago that wore a dress on Halloween and wore pantyhose too, when that boy went to school wearing that dress, the other boys made fun of him," he sighed as he remembered. And I could see a few tears in his eyes too.

"That was mean of them. Did anything happen after that?"

"Those boys apologized for being mean and they all became friends."

"That's nice, too bad they were mean though."

"Yes, and I don't want that to happen to you. Can you guess who that boy was?"

Then I asked in insight, "Was that boy you?"

Then he chuckled, "Yes, you are a smart one Kelly, let this be our secret."

"Sure thing Mister Woods, Was that a one time thing?'

"Yes Kelly, I never did it again, I did it for Halloween. 'He saw my secret, yet he accepts it. He is so innocent and without guile or deceit.'

"O.K. Mister Woods." This was the very first secret that I had of his to keep and I kept it safe. I learned later that he told Julie and Johnny years later.

Then Mrs. Woods came in from the kitchen and sat by me. "Kelly, would you like to be able to dress as a girl over here?" Mrs. Woods was always kind and gentle with me. Whenever I had a boo boo, she'd kiss it to make it better just like she did for her kids. I was like her third child in many ways.

"Yes Ma'am." I gushed thankfully. 'I get to be a girl! YIPPEE!!!'

"If you do, you will wear a skirt or dress and hose."

"Why hose and what about jeans and sweats? What is so special about hose?" 'Not that I mind'

"Because it is getting colder now dear, but if you wish, you can wear hose with jeans and sweats too. Thanks for reminding me, I totally forgot how hose feels under my jeans since I mainly wear dresses and skirts nowadays."

"Oh, what about shorts?"

"Alright, shorts as well," she giggled.

Then I got scared. "Why are you being so nice to me?" 'Was I sick? I didn't feel sick.'

"Kelly dear, you are best friends with our children and I heard you and Charlie talking about his secret. I was there too along with your parents. I don't want YOU hurt like he was. My husband is a sweet and gentle man very much like your Father. In fact, your Dad stood up to the bullies, and that was when their friendship started."

'WOW!! I never knew that!! '

"Thanks." Then I gave them both a big kiss and hug as Julie and Johnny came down still in their costumes. I was getting used to pantyhose now. I liked the way that made me feel and how the made my legs look better.

"I see that Tinkerbell is up, Johnny chuckled.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. He was embarrassing me on purpose too. I could tell by that grin on his face. But he did look good in his tights.

"Children, we need to talk, informed Mister Woods. Then they sat down across from us, looking worried.

"Are we in trouble daddy?" Sitting down, Johnny looked like a girl too, no bulge in his tights.

"No Julie, but we need to talk about Kelly here."

"What's wrong with Kelly?" Julie looked a bit silly scrunching up her face as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

"Kelly found out that he likes to wear dresses and skirts, Julie, he has worn your things before, may he wear your dresses too?"

"Sure he can, then I'll have a sister."

"And I will have a girlfriend."

'ME? A GIRLFRIEND? WAS HE CRAZY?' I was actually beginning to like that idea too.

"Johnny, Kelly is a boy, not a girl, said Mister Woods with a frown. 'I have to nip this in the bud before either of them gets hurt', thought Mister Woods.

Then I saw Johnny's jaw drop as Julie tittered as she fell backwards. I was afraid that she'd wet herself because I was laughing too at Johnny. I found out later that she did wet herself.

"Sheesh! I KNOW that dad, but I think Kelly is so cool to want to dress as a girl and he is so pretty too," he blushed. 'Uh oh!! I think that I got dad mad at me,' thought Johnny.

"And it is up to Kelly if he is your girlfriend when he wears a dress, NOT YOU." Then he smiled at Johnny," It is good, that you actually accept Kelly dressing as a girl though. This is important to him."

"I know daddy, it's just that," he started to fidget," well, I want to protect Kelly when he is a girl, just like I do my sister Julie."

"That's very good Johnny, treat Kelly like you do your sister, be there for Kelly when he is a girl, because that's when he will need you."

Then I looked at him, '''Am I hearing right, his sister?' "Johnny, you mean that you think of me as a sister when I wear a dress?"

"SHEESH!! YEAH!! You are my brother that I never had, why not my sister too?" he was blushing big time. I never knew that he felt this way about me. Then I went over and gave him a kiss and hug that he sheepishly returned.

"Thanks Johnny, I would love to be your sister, and I know that you will be a great brother to me." Then I went and sat back down. 'I wonder if daddy would approve? I miss not having a real daddy. [sigh.]

"Julie, you will have to teach Kelly about being a girl. I know that you'll love having Kelly as your new sister to teach."

"O.K. Daddy, It will be fun," she giggled. "It will be fun teaching Kelly how to be a girl."

"And DO NOT either of you tell anybody about Kelly either."

"Why not daddy? they chorused.

"Because it is to be our secret, only we and his mother shall know."

From that day onward, I learned all about being a girl from Julie. She had several duplicates of her "BARBIE" costumes and she gave them to me to put in the playhouse. When my momma found out, she agreed and let me keep some Julie's girls clothes in my room. She let me wear girls clothes at night if I wanted too. The only thing was that she never asked me to be a girl. And I was afraid to do it with out her asking me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I later learned that Julie was thinking; Kelly makes such a sweet and wonderful girl that I'm glad that she is my part-time sister. I like it whenever he wears my tops and shorts so much that I kept a set ready for him and now that he is gonna be wearing dresses and hose, I get to teach him manners too.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While this was happening, Aunt Debbie was talking with my grandparents about me. She was worried about my future for she saw a lot of her in me.

They were in the dining room and had just finished dinner, "Momma, daddy, I need to talk about something please."

Granny looked over at Grandpa who nodded, "What is it child?"

"After seeing Kelly today, I am afraid for him."

"Whatever for Pumpkin? Has anybody threatened my grandson?" ['She must be thinking about her transition, Lord, please NOT Kelly!!!']

"No daddy,[sniff, sniff] but it's almost as bad, [sniff, sniff] I can see that Kelly will transition one day," she cried.

Then grandpa slammed his palm on the table, startling my aunt, "Debbie, know this, I was not able to stop your pain, but I WILL NOT FAIL KELLY!! YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

Then my auntie went and hugged grandpa, "Oh daddy!! if you hadn't been there, I'd have killed myself! If not for your love and granny's wisdom, I wouldn't have had the strength to continue! I hope that Kelly will be spared my pain!" ['Lord, if not for daddy, I'd be dead now.']

Then granny took my auntie's chin in her hand, "Debbie, are you SURE about Kelly?"

"Yes momma, I am." ['My nightmare shall not be yours if I can help it Kelly.']

Then grandpa began to cry, "Debbie, if I hadn't of placed the farm ahead of being your escort at Homecoming, you would still be my son. Those idiots took away your manhood and raped Terri. If young Stu hadn't of been there, I dread to think what they'd have done."

"Daddy, Stu was there and he stopped them. When he saw Terri, he had no mercy on them. If the Police hadn't arrived, he would've killed them. THAT'S why he became a police Officer instead of a Park Ranger."

"Yes, and now we must be ready to help his son. I vow to not fail him as I did you!"

"Daddy, you have NEVER failed me."

"That's right my love, please forgive yourself."

"Only after I help Kelly."

I did not know it, but without their dedication at that time, my journey would not be complete.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 5 School Girl Kelly By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After agreeing to be a date for one of Mister Woods clients sons, young Kelly finds that the "fire" she had as Kelly boy is there for her as Kelly girl

---

* * *

Julie and Mrs. Woods taught me about being a girl, Julie continued to loan me her tops and shorts as well as taught me about being a girl simply by being a girl. As we grew up together, I took whatever Julie did to heart as she grew into a young lady. There were the "girl talks" where I wore her stuff and we'd spend the night with either Mrs. Woods or Momma, either in the Playhouse or in the patio by their pool.

It was as 'Kelly Girl' that I learned what girls thought about boys, and my love for her grew. She was the Girl of my Dreams, and I was her Prince Charming. True, we were very young, but ours was an innocent Love, untainted by the events that shaped my Life. To
this day, I know if I hadn't of become Kelly girl and married Johnny, I would have married Julie.

* * *

When I was about ten, something happened that I never thought would happen. I got my first stiffy. I know that is a bit young, but it did happen. And if not for Momma's gentle wisdom, it could have been very embarrassing. As it was, it was the first time that I saw what Daddy saw in her.

We had all gone swimming in the pool for the day, it was the last Saturday before school starts for the year, and we kids wanted a final romp before the pool was drained for the winter. Then it was covered and became the storehouse for the gifts given away at the homeless shelters and assisted living homes.

We came in from swimming and swamped Mister Woods, "Catch me Mister Woods!" I yelled as I leaped into his arms. ['This'll teach him to dunk me when I have a soda in my hand.']

"OOF! Kelly, you're too big to jump into my arms, anymore. But you'd make a fantastic Tackle," he grinned.

I shook my head, drenching him, "Nah! I'm not a Tackle, Mister Woods."

"Then what are you, Scamp?" ['Guess that I asked for it, after dunking him.']

"I'm a Quarterback or a Kicker in football, Silly."

"Yeah, Dad! "I'M" the Tackle!" huffed Johnny.

"And "I'M" the cheerleader!" tittered Julie.

"OK, kids, I stand corrected," he sighed. ['The Three Musketeers do stick together.']

I heard a door shut, "It's getting late, go get changed for dinner."

"Mom, can't we eat in our swimsuits? It'll save time."

"Not in a restaurant, or the movies afterwards, and you know it. Now, scoot, Scamp," admonished Mrs. Woods.

So the twins ran up to their rooms while I scampered off of Mister
Woods like a monkey and bolted for home. When I got there I was surprised to see Momma home.

"Momma, why are you here?" ['She's not in trouble, I hope.']

"I live here too, you know," she smirked.

"I know, but usually, you're at work at this time." ['Come to think about it, I WANT Momma here now.']

"Well, Chuck and Andrea invited us out tonight, so I got to night off. One of the few times that I don't have to be a hostess for the doctors or any of the hospital faculty," she sighed ['Thank God for small favors.']

"No doubt to celebrate opening a new restaurant," I smirked, and acted out getting sick for her amusement.

"My, aren't you getting cynical." ['He sure can be a Drama Queen at times.']

"No, not cynical, just wondering what new dishes we have to sample," I replied as I smacked my lips and rubbed my tummy because of Mister Woods yummy food.

By this time, we were in my room where Momma was setting out my favorite cowboy outfit and boots, "Indeed, Kelly. Go jump in the tub, I've run a bath for you," she giggled. ['If Kelly wasn't so active, he'd be a rolly polly.']

"In my trunks?" I asked as I danced by her as I went into the bathroom.

"Take them off, Silly, on second thought, keep them on and hand them to me so that I can launder them." [He likes to SWIM in the tub and it does keep his trunks clean.']

"OK."

Then I got in the tub and took off my trunks after I had wrung them out good. Momma took them and put them in a bucket to soak with her lingerie.

After bathing, I got out and drained the tub. As it drained, I used the shower massager to get rid of the suds and any scum. Then I went to my room and donned the cowboy outfit as I sang "Home On The Range," much to Momma's amusement. ['He has taking up singing ever since Stu died. It's as if it's his way of expressing himself, now.']

As I was buttoning up my shirt, Momma came in wearing her cowgirl outfit. For the first time, I noticed her very shapely legs in her tan hose and that her hem was just above her knees. What was strange was a sensation in my groin.

Momma saw me just a staring, "Kelly, why are you staring at me?" [Has he started to notice and respond to women and girls, now?']

I cleared my throat, "Yes, I am Momma. Momma, am I a bad boy?" ['Is it wrong to get excited like this?']

"No, why do you ask?" ['Is my son growing up?']

"Because, my willie is getting hard as I look at you."

"No, my child. You are simply growing up. Your daddy also got excited when I wore this." [I guess that it's true that boys want to marry a girl like their momma, and girls want to marry boys like their dad.']

"So, I am simply being a boy?" I cried.

Momma wiped away my tears, "Yes, a growing boy." [Will it happen, now?']

Then a wet spot appeared on my underwear," MOMMA!! I SPRUNG A LEAK!!" As I looked at my undies in dismay, ['Momma is SURE to spank me now!']

Then Momma smiled, "Oh, Kelly! THAT leak is a part of growing up." ['Yes, his first ejaculation. Must let him know it's alright.']

"You mean that [pointing to my crotch] THIS is my?.."

"Yes, my son, now go and clean up and change your undies."

"Am I in trouble?"

Not at all! "Then she gathered me up to her, "But it IS time to tell the Woods, we don't want for you to get Julie in trouble. We've talked about where babies come from."

"You mean by making her a mommy?"

Yes, both of you are 'WAY TOO YOUNG" to be parents."

"OK, Momma."

I got to thinking about what being a daddy would be like, with Julia as the momma. But I couldn't really see myself as a daddy, at least not as a Police Officer. When I saw myself as a chef, like Mister Woods, THEN I saw myself as a
daddy.

* * *

There was one time that I was there for Julie, she had been at cheerleader practice and a goon from another school decided that he'd kidnap the school mascot "Uncle Sam" our Bald Eagle. Julie was in charge of feeding it that week, the cheerleaders all took care of him and shared feeding and exercise duties by letting him fly around. Oh yeah! Mister Woods was responsible for getting it built as well as the other facilities for the schools in the Tri-County area.

"STOP! THIEF!!" I heard Julie yell as a goon carried Uncle Sam away in his carrier, there was a game the next day, and this goon kidnapped Uncle Sam as a prank.

Johnny and I ran after him, and I tackled him while Johnny grabbed the carrier,"OK, ASSHOLE!! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!!" I yelled. ['Will Momma ground me for cussing?']

The goon tried to get away, but I kept his feet tangled in my backpack, "GET OFF OF ME!! YOU SHRIMP!"

Johnny placed Uncle Sam's carrier with Julie, then he grabbed him, and lifted him off of his feet, "SHRIMP! YOU SAY! ASSHOLE!? KELLY TOOK YOU DOWN IN A TACKLE!!!" ['Kelly needs to let us Tackles do our job, he's a Quarterback, or Kicker.']

Johnny was a bit bigger than the goon.

"Yeah! Sure! I'd like to see the pansy do it again!!"

By that time, Coach Hornsby came up, "Want to give it a go, Kelly?" ['I know that the little spitfire can do it. He's a dynamo on the field.']

"Sure, but wait until our parents are here, please." [Don't wanna get into trouble.']

"Sure, Kelly, but why?"

Julie spoke up, "Because our parents don't want us to fight, especially starting a fight, even if we do know how to defend ourselves."

Mister Woods clapped me on the shoulder, "So, your coach, David has asked for you to fight, right?" he smirked. ['We've seen what happened, and will let Kelly do it.']

"We're here, Son," Momma said as she arrived with the Woods. ['What have the kids gotten into, THIS TIME? For get that, I know.']

"MOMMA!!" I rushed up and bear hugged her.

"How could I miss your Homecoming Game?"

"Momma, the game is tomorrow, this is practice."

"I know, but we thought that we'd go to Mister Woods NEW restaurant," she giggled.

"Besides, Kelly, now we get to see you trounce that thief for us, BUT GOOD!" said Mister Woods.

"And don't play fair either," implored Mrs. Woods.

"Coach?"

"Be my guest, and TEACH him a lesson." ['Having a student take care of him will teach a good lesson.']

I rubbed my hands together, "Let him go, Johnny."

Johnny let him go with a thud, "Sure thing, Kelly. Have fun," he smirked.

"Well, Goon? Are you ready?"

He came running at me, "Ready, creep!"

I took him down with a scissor kick to the tummy, "Two points." I laughed.

He let out"OOF" and landed n his backside, then he removed his hood to reveal a girl, "Aren't you a big brave "MAN" for hitting a girl, TWICE?" ['Maybe I can get him in trouble for hitting me, on sexual harassment charges.']

"No, you stole Uncle Sam from my best friend, Julie, and hid behind that hood. I AM proud that I stopped you, though."

By that time, her driver came up, "What are you doing, ganging up on my student, for?"

"Ah! Mrs. Alecia Jones, Head Coach of the Spartan's Cheerleaders. I see that you STILL steal other school's mascots before the Homecoming Game. You know very well that such a tradition is banned."

"So what? We always return them!" she replied in a huff.

"Oh Really?! Then why have the past three mascots that you stole needed to be replaced because they were mutilated?" asked Mister Woods. ['That's why we are here. We knew that you'd strike against this school.']

"Not my problem."

"But it is. Now that we have you here and confessing in front of the Board Of Education Director and Chief Truant Officer, your goose is cooked," said a triumphant Coach.

"WHAT?!"

"I am the Director," said Mister Woods.

"And I am the Truant Officer," completed Mrs. Woods.

By that time, a Police Officer came up," Anything wrong, Coach?"

"Yes Phil, take coach Alecia, and her student into custody for attempted burglary, and breaking and entering."

Then the Police Officer and his partner bundled the two into the arriving Paddy Wagon and escorted it to the Lock Up.

"Daddy, I need to talk to Kelly in the Playhouse, may we spend the night in there, after the Game?"

"Yes, you two have proven that we can trust you."

"Uh, Mister Woods, you'd best listen to Momma first."

Then Momma took them aside and told them about what happened before. They returned and smiled at us," Kelly, Julie, we trust both of you. Julie, Kelly was right to be concerned, but come with us, and we'll explain."

"OK Mom," then Mrs. Woods and Momma led Julie away while Mister Woods stayed with us.

"Johnny, remember when you got excited when you saw Julie in her bikini?"

He blushed, "Yeah! I thought that she was HOT and I still do," he confessed. ['I know that I shouldn't think such thoughts about my sister, but it's hard not too.']

['I gotta tell him.'] "Would you hurt your sister, bro?"

"NO WAY, KELLY!!"

"Same way with her, your momma and mine."

He grabbed my shoulders, "What's this about?"

"I got excited when I saw Momma in her outfit, today."

I saw him thinking hard, and then let me go, "OK. Now, I understand. I trust you with Julie, lil' bro. You're the only guy, other than Dad." ['I know that I can trust my brother, now. We love our sister too much to hurt her.']

Then I punched him in the arm, "Thanks, bro."

* * *

That night, Julie and I talked about boys and girls. I was wearing Johnny's red sweatshirt and she wore her Supergirl Underoos and pantyhose and red ballet slippers. We were on the love seat watching a "Jem" cartoon. I was very protective of her and made sure that she felt safe and secure.

It was the next morning that she surprised me by kissing me awake, "What?"

"Wake up, my hero."

"Hero?"

"Yep! You are my hero, for being there for me. "

"But, you have Jenny and Riki, your fellow Brownies. I though that you three were close."

"But, they aren't you! YOU are a boy and a girl, at least to me. And, I prefer boys to girls."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Oh, Kelly! Please don't be mad. When you wore that Tinkerbell dress, I saw Kelly Girl, and I like her." ['Is it because it's Kelly? Or do I really prefer girls?']

"Is that why you let me wear your stuff?"

"Yeah! I would NEVER let a boy wear them." ['Maybe it's just that I prefer Kelly as a girl.']

* * *

Mrs. Woods taught both of us how to be ladies and all about manners. We learned about how to be a perfect lady and hostess, but I also learned about being a gentleman and being a host. By the time that we were in junior high, we could both host a party. I was always the perfect gentleman or lady, depending upon the situation. But Johnny never had the patience to learn all the High Society manners. He was always polite, but did not know which silverware to use.

Then there was one time when Mister Woods needed two ladies to be dates for young men, He had Julie, but getting the other date proved difficult. In the end, I got to be the other escort. And it proved to be quite a misadventure, too.']

The front door slammed as Mister Woods entered, "Andrea, I have a problem," he sighed.

Looking up from her novel, "What's the matter Charlie? The peasants revolted?" she giggled. ['What with his business empire, he sure has become quite the Feudal Lord.']

Lifting her up and cuddling her as she squeaks in good natured protest, "No revolts, Annie, just missing a date," he chuckled. ['Set her up.']

"SAY WHAT? MISTER!?"

"Yep, a date for one of our guests, this Saturday evening," he smirked. ['Hook, line, and, sinker.']

"Oh you terrible man, you tricked me, you rascal."

"Our daughter is the right age to be the date for the young man, but I need another girl her age for his twin brother."

"Well, you could ask Kelly to help out."

Yes, I could, but Terri doesn't want to promote his being Kelly Girl. She allows him to wear Julie's tops and shorts, but those are basically unisex."

"I am sure that Terri won't mind, since it's to help you."

* * *

Let me tell you about the Woods Mansion : it has an upper and lower floor and a full basement and attic. The Attic where Mrs. Woods has her sewing machine and her hobby stuff stored. She has her sewing machine by a large window with a door that opens onto a balcony that goes all around the roof with the roof itself housing an umbrella and lounge chair screened in under a mosquito net for quiet reading or snoozing under the stars.

The upper floor has the parent's bedroom suite in front with a bathroom and dressing room on the left with the bedroom on the right. The bedroom opens up on a balcony that surrounds the upper floor with other doors opening upon the other bedrooms.

Julie's bedroom is on the right, she has hers decorated in pink walls, baby blue carpeting and off white ceiling. Her canopy bed has an off white canopy and skirts while her dressers and vanity are pink with baby blue drawers. Her bookshelves are filled with all sorts of girl's books and dolls. Her balcony door stays shut most of the time because she loves to dance around in her undies and pantyhose before she sleeps. Outside her balcony is a doll house where she has her "Barbie" dolls unless she takes it down to the pool so she can swim with them. Her bathroom has pink tiles and a baby blue shower door. She loves to soak in her tub with a few of her dolls and has even got a few "Ken" dolls for her "Barbie" dolls. But she has the most fun watching her videos and caring for her aquarium and hamsters.

Johnny's bedroom is across from Julie's. His carpeting looks like a forest floor with different colors making it look like he has a stream that comes from his bathroom and circles his wooden oak bed as it heads for his door to the balcony. His dressers are all wooden and made of different woods. His bookshelf is full of action-adventure novels and his models of his current favorite car or spaceship, but his all time favorites are his models of the " Enterprise ." He is a Star Trek fan and collects all of the novels and comics, in fact, anything Star Trek. His bathroom is filled with all sorts of water pistols because he loves those super soakers and "NERF" guns. We have spent several Saturdays soaking each other as we played "soldiers" as Julie played "Nurse" when we got shot up.

The next two rooms are used to store everybody's excess. They are full of trunks and display stands for trophies and awards as well as storage for Christmas ornaments, and gifts. It's fun to rummage through those trunks and find a memento from the past.

The hallway ends at a doorway leading onto the balcony and twin stars on either side leading up to Mrs. Wood's private lounge. But she lets us go up there anytime that we need a private time. I have gone there when I needed to talk to Gad and am always thankful to Mrs. Woods after I leave for her generosity and God for being God.

The lower floor has the living room on the right and den on the left with dining room and kitchen behind the den with guest rooms and bathroom behind the living room. Behind the kitchen is the utility room filled with garden tools, pool supplies, and barbecue equipment and pool toys as well as showers and changing rooms.

The living room has a massive fireplace with a flat-screen TV and entertainment center on either side. The sectional sofas surround the fireplace with an aisle behind to access the library of movies and board games. Under the window are a popcorn popper, microwave oven and mini fridge for snacks to enjoy while watching the movie.

The dining room has a cabinet for china, silverware and one for special occasions. There is a table where all of the dinner is kept on warmer plates and a cooler for salads and drinks. Across from the china cabinet is a cabinet for wine glasses and other glassware as well as a punchbowl and cups and saucers.

The kitchen was Mister Wood's masterpiece of the art and science of cooking. There were two double gas-range ovens with a microwave oven over the right one [going in from the dining room] and a sonic wave oven that used sound waves to cook with. Next to each oven was a cabinet filled with pots and pans and a food processor mixer, and chopping board
with a selection of knives by it.

On the wall by the hallway was a freezer filled with all sorts of meats, both sliced and unsliced. On the other side of the doorway was the fridge for dairy products and eggs where he kept his supplies for making different breads, cakes and cookies. We would raid this fridge for any late night snacks because he kept a ready supply of cookies, mine is oatmeal peanut butter with either butterscotch or chocolate chips.

On the back wall are the cabinets for the dry goods and canned goods on both sides of the doorway. The outside wall has a double sink under the window and a dishwasher and trash compacter. By each compacter are cleaning supplies and in the cupboards over them are the snacks and sodas.

The utility room is divided in two with a shower and changing room next to the kitchen and the yard equipment, barbecue and pool supplies on their respective shelves. There are two riding lawnmowers, one in each side along with other power tools.

But the full basement is the best room of all with an indoor pool, showers, and changing room under the kitchen and a massive theater under the living room and den while the hot water tank and generator are in between.

The indoor pool is heated and unlike the out door pool, is only four feet deep with no diving board, but the washing machine and dryer are next to the pool against the water heater under the dining room. There are plenty of rods to hang clothes on and when you turn on the fan and heater, the washroom acts like a big clothes dyer.

The theater in front has a big movie/video screen, ad entertainment center as well as a small stage where Julie practiced her cheer and dance routine so she can tape them and see where she needs to improve upon her routine.

* *
*

Then I finished dressing and we went over to the Manor House. Momma knocked on the door and sure enough, the Woods were dressed as cowboys except for Julie who wore an Indian Squaw dress. She looked radiant and her moccasin boots matched the color of her hose.

"Well, looks like young Kelly can take care of the Indian Maiden for us," chuckled Mister Woods.

"AW, Daddy, don't make me blush!" Julie playfully admonished, as she shyly smiled.

"Charlie! You're the one that got her that dress, TODAY!" announced Mrs. Woods.

"Well, only because Kelly here is a cowboy, tried to get Johnny to go as an Indian Brave, but..."

"If I did that, Kelly and I would be on the WARPATH, Dad," Johnny laughed.

"Johnny, you mean to tell me that a heap big boy like you is afraid of tiny Kelly?" asked Momma.

"No ma'am, just wanna avoid ruining our costumes."

"Too bad Johnny, my sis shooter is ready," I chortled.

"Sis shooter?" Julie wondered.

"Sorry, SIX SHOOTER, squaw."

Then the twins both lunged after me as I scampered away and got into the Woods' minivan and yelled out "SHOTGUN!" as I closed and locked the door.

Then Momma giggled, "Kelly, you rascal!! SHOTGUN INDEED."

We headed for the new restaurant with me riding 'shotgun' where the theme was the 'Old West'. The interior looked like an Old West saloon with a bar where the cashier and waitresses in saloon girls style uniforms and a pianist in red denims and a red and white striped dress shirt and black suspenders, socks and shoes. The buffet held a variety of dishes from the West too.

"WOW, Mister Woods, this looks great!!" I said as I wandered around in the foyer as we waited to be seated by a saloon girl waitress.

"Thanks, Sport. Been wanting one for awhile, and when this building became available, I got it," he explained. ["I've always loved those old Westerns and now I have signed photos of them stars, thanks to my friendship with a few in the Industry.']

"Mister Woods, your table is ready, please, follow me,"

"Daddy, you have a Saloon Girl uniform for me?" asked Julie as she looked longingly at the waitress as she approached.

"Yes, you rascal. I knew that you'd want one. And I got Johnny and Kelly a Pianist uniform too," he smirked. [THIS is my prank on them for those pillows, God, I am thankful that we've seldom need to spank the kids.']

"But Dad!! Kelly and I don't play the piano," explained a worried Johnny. [At least we don't gotta wear a waitress uniform, although those "Peter Pan" tights were kinda cool.']

"Learn!"

When he saw our fearful faces, Momma and Mrs. Woods started giggling, and then Julie got up from the floor, and said, "Daddy, you're cruel! I gotta go wee before I wet myself," Then she
scampered to the restroom with her momma because we kids NEVER go alone, ["I know Daddy has something up his sleeve other than his arm.']

"OK, Charles Woods. Tell the truth, before the boys wet themselves from fright," then she turned to us," Right boys?" Declared Momma.

"Right!" we chorused.

By that time, we were seated and were rejoined by Julie and Mrs. Woods. Then a man dressed as a pianist came out of the kitchen and stood at the register where he replaced a waitress who went into the back, "Gotcha, you two scoundrels."

"What?"

"My prank for ruining those pillows, kids,"

"Daddy, Momma ought to spank you for that," Johnny chuckled.

"Oh, don't worry kids, he'll pay for that," Momma smirked.

"Yep, and enjoy every minute, too," he grinned.

"Johnny, I think that means that your parents are gonna have some adult type fun," I stage whispered.

"KELLY!" Momma whispered back.

"Well, I've spent the night and heard some strange sounds coming from their bedroom and Johnny told me that he and Julie hear it all the time."

"How? The rooms are soundproofed."

"Not from the balcony, Dad. Good thing that you keep the drapes closed."

"So! Now, I know that we've had snoops out there," he chortled.

"Were you ever one of them, Kelly?" asked Mrs. Woods as she sat down with a smirking Julie.

"Yes, Ma'Am."

"I guess that you along with our kids learned a lot while quite young, then," sighed a bemused Mister Woods.

"Charles, tell Kelly, and Julie why you need them."

"What does Daddy need us for, Momma?"

"Well, I have a party that needs TWO young ladies, while I know I can count on Julie, I am not so sure about Kelly."

"You want MY SON to dress as a girl?"

"Terri, Charles would not ask if he thought that Kelly would be hurt."

"I know, Lynn, but if anybody knew about Kelly wearing Julie's stuff as well as dressing as girl characters for Halloween, they could cause problems," Momma sighed.

"Momma, I WANT to help Mister Woods, besides, I do look kinda cute as a girl," I smirked.

"OK, Kelly, you can be a date with Julie."

"YIPPEE!!"

"DOWN, KELLY, or I'll withdraw my offer," chortled Mister Woods.

"Well, Mister Woods. Please remember."

"Remember what, Kelly?"

Then I sang "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

"That's our Kelly, always being silly," laughed Johnny.

"You got that right, Buster," I responded.

After dinner, Momma and I went home and watched the original "Batman" movie made with the cast from the Greenway productions. We had fun lampooning the farce, and then went to bed. 

 

As Kelly grows up, she proves to be quite adept at being both a boy and a girl, leading Kelly to learn more about herself. Even though her Mother is reluctant, she allows Kelly to explore herself under the watchful eyes of her Godparents.

---------------------------------------------------------

Julie and Mrs. Woods taught me about being a girl, Julie loaned me her tops and shorts as well as taught me about being a girl simply by being a girl. as we grew up together, I took whatever Julie did to heart as she grew into a young lady. There were the "girl talks" where I wore her stuff and we'd spend the night with either Mrs. Woods or momma either in the Playhouse or in the patio by their pool. It was as "Kelly girl" that I learned what girls thought about boys and my love for her grew. To this day, I know if I hadn't of become Kelly girl and married Johnny, I would have married Julie.

There was one time that I was there for Julie, she had been at cheerleader practice and a goon from another school decided that he'd kidnap the school mascot "Uncle Sam" our Bald Eagle. Julie was in charge of feeding it that week, the cheerleaders all took care of him and shared feeding and exercise duties by letting him fly around. Yeah, Mister Woods was responsible for getting it built as well as the other facilities for the schools in the Tri-County area.

"STOP! THIEF!! " I heard Julie yell as a goon carried Uncle Sam away in his carrier, there was a game the next day and this goon kidnapped Uncle Sam as a prank.

Johnny and I ran after him and I tackled him while Johnny grabbed the carrier, "OK ASSHOLE!! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!!" I yelled.

"SAYS YOU PANSY!!"

Then Johnny sat the carrier in Julie's arms as she came up, then he grabbed the goon and hauled him to his feet, "PANSY?! CREEP!! KELLY TOOK YOU DOWN SHRIMP!" Johnny was a bit bigger than the goon.

"Yeah! Sure! I'd like to see the pansy do it again!!"

By that time, our Coach came up, "Want to give it a go Kelly?" ['I know that he can do it. He's a dynamo on the field.']

"Sure, but wait until our parents are here."

"We're here Son," Momma said as she arrived with the Woods.

"MOMMA!!" Then I rushed up and bear hugged her.

"How could I miss your Homecoming Game?"

"Besides Kelly, now we get to see you trounce that thief for us, BUT GOOD!" said Mister Woods.

"And don't play fair either," implored Mrs. Woods.

"Coach?"

"Be my guest and TEACH him a lesson."

"Let him go Johnny."

Johnny let him go and I took him down with a scissor kick to the tummy, when he let out an "OOF" and landed n his backside, he removed his hood to reveal a girl," Aren't you a big brave "MAN" for hitting a girl, TWICE?" ['Maybe I can call for sexual harassment.']

"No, you stole Uncle Sam from my best friend Julie and hid behind that hood. I AM proud that I stopped you though."

By that time, her driver came up, "What are you doing ganging up on my student for?"

"Ah! Mrs. Alecia Jones, Head Coach of the Spartan's Cheerleaders. I see that you STILL steal other school's mascots before the Homecoming Game."

"So what? We always return them!" she replied in a huff.

"Oh Really?! Then why have the past three mascots that you stole needed to be replaced because they were mutilated?" asked Mister Woods.

"Not My problem."

"But it is. Now that we have you here and confessing in front of the Board Of Education Director and Chief Truant Officer, your goose is cooked," said a triumphant Coach.

"WHAT?!"

"I am the Director, "said Mister Woods.

"And I am the Truant Officer," completed Mrs. Woods.

By that time, a Police Officer came up," Anything wrong Coach?"

"Yes Phil, take coach Alecia and her student into custody for attempted burglary and breaking and entering."

Then the Police Officer and his partner bundled the two into the arriving Paddy Wagon and escorted it to the Lock Up.

"Daddy, I need to talk to Kelly in the Playhouse, may we spend the night there after the Game?'

"Yes, you two have proven that we can trust you."

"Uh, Mister Woods, you'd best listen to momma first."

Then momma took them aside and told them about what happened before. Then they returned and smiled at us, "Kelly, Julie, we trust both of you. Julie, Kelly was right to be concerned, but come with us and we'll explain."

"OK mom," then Mrs. Woods and momma led Julie away while Mister Woods stayed with us.

"Johnny, remember when you got excited when you saw Julie in her bikini?"

"Yeah! I thought that she was HOT and I still do," he confessed.

"Would you hurt your sister bro?"

"NO WAY KELLY!!"

"Same way with her, your momma and mine."

"What's this about?"

"I got excited when I saw momma in her outfit today."

"OK, Now I understand. I trust you with Julie lil' bro. You're the only guy other than dad."

Then I punched him in the arm, "Thanks bro."

That night, Julie and I talked about boys and girls. I was wearing Johnny's red sweatshirt and she wore her Supergirl Underoos and pantyhose and red ballet slippers. We were on the love seat watching a "Jem" cartoon. I was very protective of her and made sure that she felt safe and secure.
It was the next morning that she surprised me by kissing me awake," What?'

"Wake up my hero."

"Hero?"

"Yep! you are my hero for being there for me."

"But you have Jenny and Riki."

"But they aren't you! YOU are a boy and a girl, at least to me."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Oh Kelly, please don't be mad. When you wore that Tinkerbell dress, I saw Kelly girl. And I like her."

"Is that why you let me wear your stuff?"

"Yeah! I would NEVER let a boy wear them."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Woods taught both of us how to be ladies and all about manners. We learned about how to be a perfect lady and hostess, but I also learned about being a gentleman and being a host. By the time that we were in junior high, we could both host a party and I was always the perfect gentleman or lady depending upon the situation. But Johnny never had the patience to learn all the High Society manners. He was always polite, but did not know which silverware to use.

There was one time when Mister Woods needed two ladies to be dates for young men, He had Julie, but getting the other date proved difficult.

The front door slammed as Mister Woods entered, "Andrea, I have a problem," he sighed.

Looking up from her novel, "What's the matter Charlie? The peasants revolted?" she giggled.

Lifting her up and cuddling her as she squeaks in good natured protest, "No revolts Annie, just missing a date," he chuckled.

"SAY WHAT MISTER!?"

"Yep, a date for one of our guests this Saturday evening."

"Oh you terrible man, you tricked me you rascal."

"Our daughter is the right age to be the date for the young man, but I need another girl her age for his twin brother."

"Well, you could ask Kelly to help out."

Yes I could, but his mother doesn't want to promote his being Kelly Girl. She allows him to wear Julie's tops and shorts, but those are basically unisex."

"I am sure that Terri won't mind since it's to help you."

Then we came in from swimming and swamped Mister Woods, "Catch me Mister Woods!" I yelled as I leaped into his arms.

"OOF! Kelly, you're too big to jump into my arms anymore, but you'd make a fantastic Tackle."

"Nah! I'm not a Tackle, Mister Woods."

"Then what are you Scamp?"

"I'm a Quarterback or a Kicker in football."

"Yeah dad, "I'M" the Tackle."

"And "I'M" the cheerleader."

"Well kids, go get changed for dinner."

"Mom, can't we eat in our swimsuits?"

"Not in a restaurant or the movies afterwards, now scoot."

So the twins ran up to their rooms while I scampered off of Mister Woods like a monkey and bolted for home. When I got there I was surprised to see momma home.

"Momma, why are you here?" 'She's not in trouble I hope.']

"I live here you know," she smirked.

"I know, but usually, you're at work at this time." ['Come to think about it, I WANT momma here now.']

"Well, Chuck and Adrian invited us out tonight, so I got to night off." ['One of the few times that I don't have to be a hostess for the doctors or any of the hospital faculty, Thank God for small favors.']

"No doubt to celebrate opening a new restaurant," I smirked and acted out getting sick for her amusement.

"My, aren't you getting cynical."

"No, not cynical, just wondering what new dishes we have to sample," I replied as I smacked my lips and rubbed my tummy because of Mister Woods yummy food.

By this time, we were in my room where momma was setting out my favorite cowboy outfit and boots, "Go jump in the tub, I've run a bath for you."

"In my trunks?" I asked as I danced by her as I went into the bathroom.

"Take them off Silly, on second thought, keep them on and hand them to me so that I can launder them." [He likes to SWIM in the tub and it does keep his trunks clean.']

"OK."

Then I got in the tub and took off my trunks after I had wrung them out good. Momma took them and put them in a bucket to soak with lingerie.

After bathing, I got out and drained the tub. As it drained, I used the shower massager to get rid of the suds and any scum. Then I went to my room and donned the cowboy outfit as I sang "Home On The Range," much to momma's amusement.

As I was buttoning up my shirt, momma came in wearing her cowgirl outfit. For the first time, I noticed my momma's shapely legs in her tan hose and that her hem was just above her knees. What was strange was a sensation in my groin.

Momma saw me just a staring, "Kelly, why are you staring at me?" [Has he started to notice and respond to women and girls now?']

I cleared my throat, "Yes I am momma. Momma, am I a bad boy?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Because my willie is getting hard as I look at you."

"No my child, you are simply growing up. Your daddy also got excited when I wore this." [I guess that it's true that boys want to marry a girl like their momma and girls want to marry boys like their dad.']

"So, I am simply being a boy?" I cried.

"Yes, a growing boy."

Then a wet spot appeared on my underwear," MOMMA!! I SPRUNG A LEAK!!" As I looked at my undies in dismay, ['Momma is SURE to spank me now!']

Then momma smiled, "Oh Kelly, THAT leak is a part of growing up. "

"You mean that [pointing to my crotch] THIS is my?.."

"Yes my son, now go and clean up and change your undies."

"Am I in trouble?"

Not at all! " then she gathered me up to her, "But it IS time to tell the Woods, we don't want for you to get Julie in trouble."

"You mean by making her a mommy?"

Yes, both of you are 'WAY TOO YOUNG" to be parents."

"OK momma."

~~~~~~~

Let me tell you about the Woods Mansion: it has an upper and lower floor and a full basement and attic. The Attic where Mrs. Woods has her sewing machine and her hobby stuff stored. She has her sewing machine by a large window with a door that opens onto a balcony that goes all around the roof with the roof itself housing an umbrella and lounge chair screened in under a mosquito net for quiet reading or snoozing under the stars.

The upper floor has the parent's bedroom suite in front with a bathroom and dressing room on the left with the bedroom on the right. The bedroom opens up on a balcony that surrounds the upper floor with other doors opening upon the other bedrooms.

Julie's bedroom is on the right, she has hers decorated in pink walls, baby blue carpeting and off white ceiling. Her canopy bed has an off white canopy and skirts while her dressers and vanity are pink with baby blue drawers. Her bookshelves are filled with all sorts of girl's books and dolls.

Her balcony door stays shut most of the time because she loves to dance around in her undies and pantyhose before she sleeps. Outside her balcony is a doll house where she has her "Barbie" dolls unless she takes it down to the pool so she can swim with them.

Her bathroom has pink tiles and a baby blue shower door. She loves to soak in her tub with a few of her dolls and has even got a few "Ken" dolls for her "Barbie" dolls. But she has the most fun watching her videos and caring for her aquarium and hamsters.

Johnny's bedroom is across from Julie's. His carpeting looks like a forest floor with different colors making it look like he has a stream that comes from his bathroom and circles his wooden oak bed as it heads for his door to the balcony.

His dressers are all wooden and made of different woods. His bookshelf is full of action-adventure novels and his models of his current favorite car or spaceship, but his all time favorites are his models of the "Enterprise." He is a Star Trek fan and collects all of the novels and comics, in fact, anything Star Trek.

His bathroom is filled with all sorts of water pistols because he loves those super soakers and "NERF" guns. We have spent several Saturdays soaking each other as we played "soldiers" as Julie played "Nurse" when we got shot up.

The next two rooms are used to store everybody's excess. They are full of trunks and display stands for trophies and awards as well as storage for Christmas ornaments and gifts. It's fun to rummage through those trunks and find a memento from the past.

The hallway ends at a doorway leading onto the balcony and twin stairs on either side leading up to Mrs. Woods' private lounge. But she lets us go up there anytime that we need a private time. I have gone there when I needed to talk to God and am always thankful to Mrs. Woods after I leave for her generosity and God for being God.

The lower floor has the living room on the right and den on the left with dining room and kitchen behind the den with guest rooms and bathroom behind the living room. Behind the kitchen is the utility room filled with garden tools, pool supplies, and barbecue equipment and pool toys as well as showers and changing rooms.

The living room has a massive fireplace with a flat-screen TV and entertainment center on either side. The sectional sofas surround the fireplace with an aisle behind to access the library of movies and board games. Under the window there's a popcorn popper, microwave oven and mini fridge for snacks to enjoy while watching the movie.

The dining room has a cabinet for china, silverware and one for special occasions. There is a table where all of the dinner is kept on warmer plates and a cooler for salads and drinks. Across from the china cabinet is a cabinet for wine glasses and other glassware as well as a punchbowl and cups and saucers.

The kitchen was Mister Woods' masterpiece of the art and science of cooking. There were two double gas-range ovens with a microwave oven over the right one [going in from the dining room] and a sonic wave oven that used sound waves to cook with. Next to each oven was a cabinet filled with pots and pans and a food processor mixer, and chopping board with a selection of knives by it.

On the wall by the hallway was a freezer filled with all sorts of meats, both sliced and unsliced. On the other side of the doorway was the fridge for dairy products and eggs where he kept his supplies for making different breads, cakes and cookies. We would raid this fridge for any late night snacks because he kept a ready supply of cookies, mine is oatmeal peanut butter with either butterscotch or chocolate chips.

On the back wall are the cabinets for the dry goods and canned goods on both sides of the doorway. The outside wall has a double sink under the window and a dishwasher and trash compacter. By each compacter are cleaning supplies and in the cupboards over them are the snacks and sodas.

The utility room is divided in two with a shower and changing room next to the kitchen and the yard equipment, barbecue and pool supplies on their respective shelves. There are two riding lawnmowers, one in each side along with other power tools.

But the full basement is the best room of all with an indoor pool, showers, and changing room under the kitchen and a massive theater under the living room and den while the hot water tank and generator are in between.

The indoor pool is heated and unlike the outdoor pool, is only four feet deep with no diving board, but the washing machine and dryer are next to the pool against the water heater under the dining room. There are plenty of rods to hang clothes on and when you turn on the fan and heater, the washroom acts like a big clothes dyer.

The theater in front has a big movie/video screen, and entertainment center as well as a small stage where Julie has practiced her cheer and dance routine so she can tape them and see where she needs to improve upon her routine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then I finished dressing and we went over to the Woods mansion. Momma knocked on he door and sure enough, the Woods were dressed as cowboys except for Julie who wore an Indian Squaw dress. She looked radiant and her moccasin boots matched the color of her hose.

"Well, looks like young Kelly can take care of the Indian Maiden for us," chuckled Mister Woods.

"AW daddy, don't make me blush!" Julie playfully admonished as she shyly smiled.

"Charlie! You're the one that got her that dress TODAY!" announced Mrs. Woods.

"Well, only because Kelly here is a cowboy, tried to get Johnny to go as an Indian Brave, but.."

"If I did that, Kelly and I would be on the WARPATH dad," Johnny laughed.

"Johnny, you mean to tell me that heap big boy like you are afraid of tiny Kelly?" asked momma.

"No ma'am, just wanna avoid ruining our costumes."

"Too bad Johnny, my sis shooter is ready," I chortled.

"Sis shooter?" Julie wondered.

"Sorry, SIX SHOOTER squaw."

Then the twins both lunged after me as I scampered away and got into the Woods minivan and yelled out "SHOTGUN!" as I closed and locked the door.

Then momma giggled, "Kelly you rascal!! SHOTGUN INDEED."

Then we headed for the new restaurant with me riding "shotgun" where the theme was the "Old West." the interior looked like an Old West saloon with a bar where the cashier and waitresses in saloon girls style uniforms and a pianist in red denims and a red and white striped dress shirt and black suspenders, socks and shoes. The buffet held a variety of dishes from the West too.

"WOW Mister Woods, this looks great!!" I said as I wandered around in the foyer as we waited to be seated by a saloon girl waitress.

"Thanks Sport, been wanting one for awhile, and when this building became available, I got it," he explained. ["I've always loved those old Westerns and now I have signed photos of them thanks to my friendship with a few in the Industry.']

"Mister Woods, your table is ready, please follow me,"

"Daddy, do you have a Saloon Girl uniform for me?" asked Julie as she looked longingly at the waitress as she approached.

"Yes you rascal, I knew that you'd want one. And I got Johnny and Kelly a Pianist uniform too," he smirked. [THIS is my prank on them for those pillows, God, I am thankful that we've seldom needed to spank the kids.']

"But dad!! Kelly and I don't play the piano," explained a worried Johnny. [At least we don't gotta wear a waitress uniform, although those "Peter Pan" tights were kinda cool.']

"Learn!"

When he saw our fearful faces, momma and Mrs. Woods started giggling, then Julie got up and said, "Daddy, you're cruel! I gotta go wee before I wet myself," Then she scampered to the restroom with her momma because we kids NEVER go alone, ["I know daddy has something up his sleeve other than his arm.']

"OK Charles Woods, tell the truth before the boys wet themselves from fright," then she turned to us," Right boys?" Declared momma.

"Right!" we chorused.

By that time, we were seated and were rejoined by Julie and Mrs. Woods. Then a man dressed as a pianist came out of the kitchen and stood at the register where he replaced a waitress who went into the back, "Gotcha two scoundrels."

"What?"

"My prank for ruining those pillows kids,"

"Daddy, momma ought to spank you for that," Johnny chuckled.

"Oh, don't worry kids, he'll pay for that," momma smirked.

"Yep and enjoy every minute too," he grinned.

"Johnny, I think that means that your parents are gonna have some adult type fun," I stage whispered.

"KELLY!" momma whispered back.

"Well, I've spent the night and heard some strange sounds coming from their bedroom and Johnny told me that he and Julie hear it all the time."

"How? The rooms are soundproofed."

"Not from the balcony dad. Good thing that you keep the drapes closed."

"So! Now I know that we've had snoops out there," he chortled.

"Were you ever one of them Kelly?" asked Mrs. Woods as she returned with a smirking Julie.

"Yes ma'am."

"I guess that you along with our kids learned a lot while quite young then," sighed a bemused Mister Woods.

"Charles, tell Kelly and Julie why you need them."

"What does daddy need us for momma?"

"Well, I have a party that needs TWO young ladies, while I know I can count on Julie, I am not so sure about Kelly."

"You want MY SON to dress as a girl?"

"Terri, Charles would not ask if he thought that Kelly would be hurt."

"I know Lynn, but if anybody knew about Kelly wearing Julie's stuff as well as dressing as girl characters for Halloween, they could cause problems," momma sighed.

"Momma, I WANT to help Mister Woods, besides, I do look kinda cute as a girl," I smirked.

"OK Kelly, you can be a date with Julie."

"YIPPEE!!"

"DOWN KELLY, or I'll withdraw my offer," chortled Mister Woods.

"Well Mister Woods, please remember."

"Remember what Kelly?"

Then I sang "Girls Just Want To Have Fun."

"That's our Kelly, always being silly," laughed Johnny.

"You got that right buster," I responded.

After dinner, momma and I went home and watched the original "Batman" movie made with the cast from the Greenway productions. We had fun lampooning the farce, then went to bed.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 6 No More Kelly Boy By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! In school, Kelly proves to be very much of a tom boy as he excels at academics, and sports, side by side with his best friend, Johnny. Together, they become the school's top athletes until Kelly is hurt, then Kelly become Johnny's tutor to keep him from academic probation. Later on, a misguided doctor destroys Kelly's dream, and Kelly finds a new dream.

---

I went out for sports and played along side Johnny. I loved playing in any sport and it was only as I stayed small that I was the kicker in football. Johnny and I were inseparable on the field. We excelled in every sport that the school or Community Center sponsored.

"Good game you two, have you guys ever thought about playing for a pro team?'" asked Coach Hornsby. ['Those two have quite a gift. By themselves, they are the best that there is, but together, they are invincible.']

"Dave, they're just kids. Please, let'em enjoy being kids," admonished Momma. ['He still wants to be a professional coach, too bad he never gets the chance. But, then again, he's so good with kids.']

"I know that, Terri. But I think that they both have potential." ['Even if I can't be the professional coach that I want to be, I can still find the kids that will be great players.']

Then Mr. Woods handed us kids our Popsicles, "I agree with you, let our kids be kids. I will not force mine to be something that they don't want to be." ['Besides, why should I? With my money, they have no need for scholarships.']

* * *

Together, Johnny and I won several trophies both at the Community Center and in our school. We three had a lot of fun on Saturdays playing on the teams and Julie was always our cheerleader too. To this day, we still keep our trophies and remember the fun we had seeing our parents rally us to win, and Tri-County Central Junior High School still counts us as the Best Athletes.

It was at the Graduation Ceremony that our legacy was assured. Because of our contribution to the team, the Patriots won every year that we went. It was all thanks to Coach Hornsby and his teaching us about how to be a team. He did not put any one player on a pedestal; rather, he drilled us on being our best. It just happened that Johnny and I meshed together, and became the Team Captains.

"It gives me great pleasure to announce this year's All Star Team Winner!! This year, we had several teams that made it into the playoffs that haven't before thanks to the spirit of Teamwork and Fair Play taught here by our coaches. But unfortunately, there can only be one All Star Team!! And that team is the Patriots led by Team Captains Johnny Woods and Kelly Moore!!"

Right now, in the Main Hallway is a Display of trophies from when the school won a State Championship in sports, or National Championship in Academics. My name is listed on several trophies. What surprises many students is that I am now a happily married woman, married to the school's other Top Athlete.

* * *

As we grew up, because our high school supported equal rights, we were allowed to wear any costume at Halloween, Spirit Day and Career Day. I always wore a girl's costume. On Career Day, one year, we had to give a speech upon the career that we picked. I decided to do a report on Nursing, since Mother was a Receptionist/Hostess for a few doctors, and she was always complaining about the constant need for top quality nurses. It was fun to wear nurse's whites or scrubs to school and give my report in Civics.

It was a week before Career Day, and I had my report ready, but not my clothing. Normally, I wore the navy pants, white shirt, and red sweater vest and tie of the boy's school uniform. The girl's school uniform varies in that it has a skirt or skort or shorts instead of pants, and matching bloomers.

"Momma, do you have a nurses uniform?"

"No, why Kelly?" ['Does my son still want to be a girl, at times? I thought that he'd be over it by now, I guess that I need to read up on this condition.']

"We are having a Career Day at school. I thought that I'd do my report on nurses while dressed as a nurse." ['Why do I feel so comfy when I am a girl? Am I suppose to be a girl?']

"Oh. Not nursing?" ['I'll deal with his wanting to wear a dress, later. Too interested in his report. Will he become a Male Nurse?']

"Momma, you've told us about the need for better nurses, so, I am doing my report on what makes a better nurse. That's why you spend so much time at the office."]'I want her home, but she is needed, there.']

"OK, but why do you ask if I have a nurses uniform?"

I blushed, "Well, I wanna wear one while giving my report."

"Kelly, you know that I disapprove of your wearing girl's clothes. I worry about what might happen if people found out that you're a boy wearing a dress." ['Like what happened to his Uncle Brian, who's now his Aunt Debbie.']

"I know, Momma. But I wanna make a good impression, and I'd NEVER do it if I was gonna get hurt. Besides, Johnny, and Julie and I have the same schedule."

Momma sighed, "OK, Kelly. I can get you a nurse's costume, that'll have to do." ['I have to trust in their judgment. After all, the Woods would never knowingly let Kelly get hurt.']

"Thanks, Momma."

* * *

The uniform that she got me was from the Uniform Depot. It turned out that they actually made child sized uniforms. In fact, that's where we got my school uniform. My nurse's uniform was a white dress with matching panty, white pantyhose, and shoes. Momma hated that the hem was cheerleader length, but I promised hr not to flash my panty, so she stopped fussing.

* * *

"Nurses serve a vital part in the Medical Community. They do more than simply taking your temperature or giving you your medicine. A nurse assists the doctor in the operating room in many and varied ways. Nurses are much more than a pretty face, they help to make the doctor's job easier. There are many different nursing fields that are open. Please remember that a nurse is a highly trained professional not some sort of sex object as some believe."

That speech that I gave while not in depth went with my report that won me a tour of the local nursing school and all of the books in their course study. I gave them to Julie since she wanted to be a nurse.

* * *

Then during my senior year in Tri-County Junior High School , everything changed for me. I got hurt in our last game. We were in the State Championship Game against the Bishop's Street High School Crusaders. It was the beginning of the fourth quarter, as quarterback, I got the football, and when I saw the oncoming blitz. I shifted into turbo and ran, all out. I was able to dodge the blitz, and score a T.D., winning six points, but then, the Blitz caught me, but good. Johnny roughed up a few of them in trying to get to me, and I saw Julie, crying beside me. But I couldn't respond because of the pain. Momma got in the ambulance with me, and I heard Coach say, "Take care of him. They have hurt our Kelly. Now, this is no longer a game. It is WAR!"

Johnny clasped him on the shoulder, "Coach, Kelly is my brother, and Best Friend. Please, let me out there! I need to trounce them for what they did to Kelly, especially their coach. You can see just how much that he is grinning. And the referees did not penalize them for what they did either." ['Take care, Bro. This is the first time that I failed to protect you, never again.']

Coach Hornsby smiled, "Is your father here?" ['Old Chuck will know what to do about the cheating.']

Mister Woods came up, then, "Here I am, Toro."

"Toro, Dad?"

The Coach smiled, "That, Johnny, is my nickname, because of my last name, and my size." ['He has no room to talk, he's as big as I am, just like his dad.']

"OK, Coach. Does Toro have any advice for me?"

"You're the leader now, do what you must, while your dad and I see about the other coach."

* * *

In the ambulance, I was feeling the pain from the pile up, and silently crying. I couldn't even breathe without hurting, "Please, [huff] let [huff] me [huff] die [huff]!"

"Not yet, Whipper Snapper! I may be a retired farmer, but I can give you a shot, Kelly, Boy!"

"GRANDPA!"

"Yep!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Giving you something for the pain," he smirked.

I lay back with a grin. My grandparents had learned to be paramedics because the county had very few qualified ambulance drivers. So, they learned so that they could care for their children.

What I had forgotten, till then was that he and Granny always kept their permits current.

"You feel better, son?" ['I don't know what Daddy gave him, but it looks like its working.']

"Yeah, Momma. I feel no pain, now. [Sigh] Thanks, Grandpa."

Grandpa smiled at me, "Anytime, my boy, anytime."

It turned out that the referees were Alumni of the opposing team. They had purposefully looked away when Kelly was hit when they were finally on the field at the same time. When the investigation discovered the facts, the coach, and referees lost their jobs.

* * *

So, I was out now for the season. The coach really hated it because I could place the ball where I wanted it to go. He let me off for the season and let me know that I would be welcomed back.

"Are you in any pain?" ['He looks so frail in that bed, he is so lively that I never saw him so helpless.']

"Yeah, all over Momma. That last tackle sure put a good wallop on me." ['Why is Momma worried? I'm a gonna get better, soon enough.']

Then Doctor Benjamin came over to my bed. "I have good news and bad news for you young man, which you want first?" ['Don't know why, but I love doing my good news/bad news routine.' chuckle]

"Could we wait till Coach Cartwright gets here? ['Other than Mister Woods, he's the only man that I could call Daddy, sigh.']

Then my coach stepped into the room, "No need to wait for me, Kelly, The game is over, we won the game!!" ['And you, young man are the reason; the team won it for you.']

"That's great Coach!! Too bad that I couldn't watch the game though." [Knowing you, you taped the game so I can still see it." chuckle.]

"Then the doctor cleared his throat, "That's nice, but this is a hospital, not a stadium," he laughed." [I can see that this Coach cares for his team.']

"Bad news first please, " answered my Momma. ['Dear Lord, I pray that Kelly is alright.']

"The bad news is that Kelly's ribs are badly bruised. Any harder and they'd have been broken." ['Lucky kid that wallop could've left him in a wheelchair.']

"Too bad, Kelly. That means that you're benched for the season," sighed the Coach. [' I was hoping for better news, but at least you will be playing again.']

"Sorry, Coach," I began to cry." ['I've hurt you, will you forgive me?']

Then he put his hand upon my shoulder, "Don't be, son. You just heal up and are ready for college." [This young man is so giving of himself that I can never be mad at him.']

"What's the good news?" ['Other than my son is alive.'] Asked my Momma.

"No need to tape you up, just take some pain reliever for pain and soreness," replied the doctor. ['Besides, taping his bruised ribs would only make things worse.']

Then, Julie came running in. She brought with her, a guy nearly as big as Johnny. It was plain as day that he was smitten with her, "Kelly, this is Mark White. He was the first one who tackled you."

I looked at her with venom, ""YOU BRING HIM HERE?! WHY?!"

He looked sheepishly t me, and then stammered, "Kelly, it was an accident on my part. I had already launched myself to get you when you caught the ball. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

Johnny laid hid hand on Mark's shoulder, " I saw that, Mark. I know that you wanted to help Kelly up, but then, your team swamped both of you at your coach's orders."

I held out my hand, "Then put it there, friend. If Johnny vouches for you, that's good enough for Me. "

"What about ME, Kelly!? I am your sister!"

I blushed, "Sorry, Julie. But getting creamed by guys bigger than you are does make you feel a wee bit squished," I sighed.

Mark clapped me on the back, causing me to 'OOF' as air was forced from me, "Kelly, you're a lot like my kid brother, Abe; he's small, and wiry. And he can out wrestle anybody on the team."

"OK, Mark. So, you know how to care for us tiny terrors?" I smirked.

"Yep, Keep away, when hungry, which is all the time."

That was our first meeting with Mark. He would later on prove to be a new member of the family, but THAT would be years later, after events had shaped my life, forcing me to make a decision.

* * *

When I was a freshman in junior high school, we had to see a doctor due to a new school policy. The one that I saw was Doctor Benjamin Rhodes. I didn't know it at the time, but he was a psychologist. (That means that he could 'doctor' your mind and your body.)

When he saw me, he got all excited, after my physical; he asked my Momma if he could talk to me. She agreed only after he agreed to see me with another adult present. I went into his office and we began to talk about me.

I entered his office, and saw a bespeckled older man with a wild fringe odd graying hair, like Albert Einstein, "Come in, Mister Kelly." ['Here is the young man that Linden Avery has been looking for. This boy, I must see if he is the 'Abomination' that Linden believes him to be. But, if he is, do I bring him to Avery? Or do my duty and cure him without worrying my Master?']

I held out my hand, "Thank you Sir, do what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You're quite the young gentleman, aren't you?" he chuckled.

"Mister Woods my neighbor made sure that I know proper etiquette."

"That's nice of him, why not your father?"

"Daddy died when I was younger, So, Mister Woods has been the father that I need."

"Kelly, I saw you dressed as Tinkerbell for Halloween, why were you dresses as a girl?" ['Is he trans-gendered in any way?']

"Mrs. Woods had picked up the wrong package at the costume shop." ['Why ask me about that?']

Why didn't she exchange it?" [Did the mistake bring out the girl in him?']

"By the time that we knew about it, the store was closed."

"Was there not another costume that you could have worn?" [' Surely they kept the old ones.']

"Only Julie's Wendy costume, we're both the same size. I could have worn my underos over sweats, but we wanted to dress alike, or as characters from the same movie."

"Why did you not switch with her, then?" ['Kelly, evidently, even then, wanted to be a girl.']

"Because she was wearing it, already," I sighed. ['I hate going over old stuff. I know that he has this on file. Because this was in the report.']

"Did you enjoy being Tinkerbell?" ['I wonder if being Wendy would've made a difference. And he is showing a bit of discomfort, now.']

"Yes, I did, it was fun, too." ['Does he want to know why I wear Julie's clothes?']

"I understand that you've worn other girl's costumes since then. Why?"

"I found that I actually like it." ['Yep! He is. Will he decide that I'm simply being curious? I mean, I like dressing up at times. But I don't want to be a girl, full-time.']

"Are there any other times that you dress as a gill?" ['So, I am right! Kelly as yet to admit to himself that he wants to be a girl. If not for the good advice from Avery, Linden , I'd still be seeing Kelly as confused, not for what he really is.']

"Well, kind of," I blushed.

"When is that?" ['So, he does want to be a girl, but is reluctant to admit it.']

"The Woods let me wear Julie's tops and shorts with my undies and shoes."

"Do you look like a girl then?" ['Now, to see how deep this need is.']

"No, the clothes have no frills or lace; I think they're called unisex."

"Would you like to be able to dress as a girl in public?" [So, being evasive. evidently, he must be either all boy, or all girl, no in between for him.']

"Not really, I am a boy, even though I dress as a girl on Halloween and at the Woods, and on Career Day, here. And I like playing with Johnny Woods."

"Oh?"

"Yes, we both play on the same sports teams at the Community Center, Church, and Tri-County Junior High School."

"When do you have any free time?" ['Could he see this Johnny as a boyfriend when he is in girl mode?']

"The Community Center is always on Saturday mornings with practice just before. The Church is on Sundays between Worship Services, and Junior High School practices weekday afternoon with the game on Thursday Nights."

"What about Julie?" ['Or is she is girlfriend when in boy mode?']

"She's a cheerleader for our teams."

"Would you like to cheer with her?"

"Only if I was a girl, then I'd cheer for Johnny."

"Why him?" ['His answer will tell me what I need to know,']

"He's my Best Friend."

"It's always good to have a best friend." ['Kelly shows definite signs of being trans-gendered. I can tell from his body language that he is confused about his sexual identity. According to the Blood Test results, he has a very low testosterone count when it should be off the scale like his friend Johnny. There is only one thing to do to remedy the situation.']

Then he excused himself, & came back a moment later with a needle and a bottle of pills, "Kelly, this is a vitamin shot for you and these are a vitamin supplement." ['I will set him on the road to transition that he so desperately wants, and tell Avery about him. His reactions will reveal his Heart.']

"Am I sick, Doctor Rhodes?"

"No, but your physical shows that you need this booster to help jump start your puberty, otherwise, you'll stay as you are."

Then he gave me the shot and after talking with Momma, I took the pills with me. But the shot and pills were meant to turn me into a girl. I started to show changes in my butt and chest before we learned the truth. It was six months later when I went to see our family doctor for my flu shots.

"Kelly, you look different." ['Just like his Mother when she was his age. But it could be gynomastia.']

"What do you mean, Doctor Addams?"

"Well, you look more than a bit like your Mother looked like at your age," he grinned. ['Don't want to needlessly alarm the boy.']

I laughed, "Come on Doc, I can't be turning into my Momma, I'm a boy!"

"True, may I take a few blood samples?" ['Why is his voice getting higher?']

I held out my arm, "Sure, what for?"

He quickly took a sample, "By now, you should be going through puberty, but you aren't."

"That's what Doctor Rhodes said; he gave me a shot and pills to take."

"Did you bring them with you?" ['That could explain things.']

I handed him the bottle which was empty, "Yep, here they are."

Then he looked at the bottle and got a weird look on his face," Kelly, what did he say these were?" ['Does he know what he's been taking?']

"Vitamins. Why?"

[My GOD! I hope that I've caught it in time!'] "Wait here Kelly," then he marched out the door and returned with my Momma. She looked worried as she sat by me.

"Momma is anything wrong?"

"Kelly, Doctor Rhodes did not give you any vitamins, he gave you pills to turn you into a girl," Doctor Addams cried.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! TURN INTO A GIRL!?"

Then Momma hugged me tight as the doctor explained," The pills and shot he gave you have given you a girl's butt, and waist as well as chest."

"You mean that I'll look exactly like you, Momma, but be a boy?" ['Why did this happen?']

Then he slumped in his chair and wept," I'm sorry, Kelly, but you can never be a Father now, the pills have made that impossible." [If only Stu was still alive, then, we could use his blood to make a cocktail to restart Kelly's manhood.']

"What does he mean, Momma?" my voice quavered as I thought about what it meant.

"Remember Rex, the Seeing Eye Dog for Scott?" ['Dear Lord, will Kelly ever be a parent?']

"You mean that I am like him?"

"I'm sorry, son, but yes, like him."

"Why did he hurt me, Momma?" ['Why am I not crying? Is this me, fighting to be a boy?']

"I wish that I knew, Honey," Then she looked at the doctor and her voice became hard as iron, "DOCTOR ADDAMS! I DO NOT CARE! DO WHAT IT TAKES! I WANT THAT BASTARD TO PAY!!"

The doctor looked at us, and he sat up and his voice was filled with authority," Mrs. Moore, I vow to make sure that he pays in full."

Momma took me home. She tried to get me to respond, but I was in shock. I was thinking about how I looked when I wore a dress, or a skirt, and how Johnny tried to be a gentleman. Now, I started seeing him in a new way, as my boyfriend. Than, as I accepted that, I began to cry, as my Heart finally released it s burden of fear.

"Kelly? Are you. OK?"

"Yes, Momma. I was just in shock."

"Well Son, I guess that you have a very good reason to be."

"No, Momma, [sigh] Not, 'Son', anymore. Not after, today,"

By ten, we were at the Woods Estate. Now, I truly felt safe. For here, I was home. Here, nothing could hurt me. It was here, that I had found who I am. Momma and I got out, and smelled Mister Woods doing a barbecue. I knew then, that they were doing this in anticipation of celebrating my check up. We were always finding a read on to fire up the grill, but this time, it wouldn't be to celebrate. When the Woods found out, they got furious! That's when I saw just how mean Mister Woods could be when he wanted to be.

Julie was wearing a red bikini top with blue bikini bottoms. The full bra and panty looked more like they were meant for gymnastics, but Julie never was one to display what she had. She never felt the need because she felt that there was no need, and with her winning Homecoming Queen, and the Miss Patriot beauty pageant, she was right. As many times as I had worn her clothes, or was an escort, I knew that I would never be a beautiful as she is. But now, things were changing.

"Hi Mrs. Moore and Kelly, are you here for Daddy's cookout? He's made some scrumptious kabobs and roasted corn on the cob."

"Scrumptious, Julie? Where did you learn that word?" ['Got to get Kelly to see humor again, or he will despair.']

"Well, I learned it from Mommy; she loves to find new words to describe Daddy's cooking, Momma Moore."

Then I began to cry bitter tears because now I was face to face with the only girl that I'd ever thought of marrying. NOW, I can never be a father like my Daddy!! I wanted to die right then, and there. How could I be the Man that she needed? I was a eunuch at best, a wanna be girl at worst. My despair was nearly complete. Only the faintest of hope kept me sane.

"What's wrong Kelly?" asked Julie as she hugged me close. ['He looks as if he's lost his Best Friend, but how can that be?']

"Oh Julie, [sniff, sniff] I have terrible news!!" ['Will my sister hate me now? Have I lost the Woods as my family?']

"Want me to go get Mom and Dad?" she asked as she cradled my head to her bosom. I pretty well soaked her topas I released my tears. She was being my sister, right then. And in doing so, she provided me with an anchor to reality that I clung to as the winds of madness tore at my Soul.

"No need to, Sweetheart, we're here. Come, let's sit down," said Mister Woods, then he walked to the patio and sat down. Mrs. Woods and the twins sat on the patio love seat, leaving me and Momma to sit on the patio lounge chairs. After everybody was seated, he gestured to me and momma to speak.

"I am still in shock [sniff, sniff] over what I'm about to tell you, [sob] please be patient," she wept. ['Oh, Stu! You never had to deal with this! Even when Brian became Debbie! But, you would be here, with your Wisdom, then you'd catch that quack, and make sure that he pays.']

Then Mrs. Woods handed Momma a napkin, "What's so terrible?"

I stood up, ready for what I had to do, "Let me, Momma, it happened to me, after all," I sighed.

"Kelly, what the hell happened?" asked Johnny.

"The doctor that I saw about my physical. [sniff, sniff] gave me a shot, [sniff, sniff] and some pills that, [sniff, sniff] were turning me into a girl."

"WHAT!!!!"

"That's right, Johnny, looks as if my days as an athlete are over, since the State disqualifies any athlete taking steroids, or hormones."

"And Kelly is going to go a through a boy's puberty?"

"That's right Charlie,[sniff, sniff] Kelly is sterile now, [sniff, sniff] If our doctor hadn't found out, [sniff, sniff] Kelly could go through a girl's puberty." [sniff, sniff]

"You men that Kelly will grow breasts like I will?"

"Well, more like me, since I am his mother, Julie."

"YUCK!!"

"No Julie, [sniff, sniff] the doctor has given me pills so that won't happen, [sniff, sniff] I will stay small like you, [sniff, sniff] not grow bigger like Johnny."

Then Mister Woods picked me up and hugged me as he cried for me, "Kelly, I promise you that Doctor Rhodes will pay for what he has done to you!! And as for your growing much bigger you are your Mother, born as a boy."

Then he handed me to his wife, "Kelly, I know that you and Julie love each other, your Mother and I both think you make a cute couple. As far as I'm concerned, you're still a cute couple."

"Even if I can't be a father?"

Julie kissed me, "We can always adopt. Wasn't your Daddy adopted?"

"Yeah, Julie, but he made me, with Mom's help. Can he cook?"

We all laughed at my joke. They knew that I was doing what I could to deal with my problem, and humor was and still is my strength.

"Kelly, I will ask the doctors that I work for about anything that can be done for you."

Thanks, Momma. Anything will be appreciated."

"Kelly, you are still my boyfriend."

"And you're my best friend."

"Thanks everybody."

Then Mister Woods came over and announced," Well, it's been done, Rhodes is in prison now, with out bail."

Johnny came over, and stood me up then saluted me, "Kelly, I will miss you on the field, will you join Julie on her squad?"

"Maybe next year, when we're in high school. It's a bit late for me to join, this year."

* *
*

Doctor Rhodes never made it to trial, he died in prison. There were a few prisoners that hated those that abused women, and children. When he was outed, he was repeatedly raped until he hung himself.
* *
*

---

To Be Continued...

 

Kelly's Journey
Chapter 6: Choices

By Stanman63

Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut
and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration!

After learning the terrible news, Kelly decides to make the most of a bad situation, much to Julie's dismay. In school, Kelly proves to be a tom boy as she excels in sports side by side with her best friend Johnny. Her small size and quickness contrasts well with Johnny's size and strength. Together, they become the school's top athletes, while Kelly also excelled in academics, easily earning herself several scholarships. Yet, as her dressing continues, it expands to help others in need. Yet at a game, she finds out who she is.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that, I found that I was thinking about Johnny instead of Julie. I still loved her, but I found that I wanted to marry Johnny instead. It all came to a head when I dreamed about daddy. I saw him sitting by a pond, sitting upon an old tree stump, waiting for me.

"Come over here Kelly."

"Yes daddy," I glided over to where he sat and he swept me into his strong arms.

"How is my son doing?"

"Oh daddy, NOW I don't know if I am your son or daughter!" I wept.

"Because of that doctor."

"Uh huh, I don't want to hurt Julie, but if I can't be a husband and give her children, I shouldn't try to be her boyfriend."

"Don't you think that should be HER choice?"

"Yes daddy, but NOW I don't see her as a girlfriend and I don't know what I should pray for!"

"Why is that?"

"Because NOW I want to be Johnny's girlfriend."

"And you think that that is wrong?"

"Isn't it?"

"What do you feel in your heart?"

"That I love Johnny."

"Do you feel that you should have been born a girl?"

"NOW I do, in fact, ever since I was Tinkerbell, I've wanted to be a girl."

Then a man in a white linen robe approached us, I saw scars on his forehead and holes in his palms. There was an utter sense of Peace and Belonging about Him. Then I knew Who I was seeing.

"JESUS!!"

"Yes Kelly, I am He," He smiled.

Next thing I knew, I was in His arms, "Jesus, am I bad for wanting to be a girl?"

"No My Child, it is a part of your journey to choose."

"But what about Julie and Johnny?"

"Whatever your choice, they will find one for them."

"So being confused about my gender is OK?"

"Yes, many of My Children are confused, unfortunately, all too many only find fulfillment up here after their journey is over," he sighed.

"Why do you not help them?"

"I do, but they must accept My Help."

"Kelly?"

"Yes daddy?"

"If you choose Johnny, Julie will give you a special gift."

"What gift?"

"THAT young Kelly will be shown after you choose," admonished Jesus.

Then I woke up with tears in my eyes as I slept next to momma, "Kelly, are you OK?"

"Yes momma, I just had a wonderful dream."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Fine momma, I'll tell you and the Woods after breakfast."

Then I went to sleep and didn't wake up until rather late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up Kelly, or you'll miss lunch," yelled Julie from the doorway as she passed by wearing her red swim dress.

I jumped up and noticed that I was still wearing yesterday's plaid shirt and jeans while my boots were on the floor. I got showered, looking at my diminished goods and knew the choice to make. I donned my Batman trunks and matching top with sandals and towel and headed to the patio-pool area where a scrumptious lunch of burgers, fries, hot dogs and salad was spread out along with an assortment of sodas. Our parents only drank spirits on special holidays and never smoked.

"Well, how's things Kelly?"

"I don't know rightly, Mister Woods, I have an announcement to make that involves Julie AND Johnny."

"Does it have to do with what that doctor did to you?"

Yes Mrs. Woods, it has EVERYTHING to do with that."

"Perhaps you had best wait till tonight to tell then."

"No momma, I need to tell them A.S.A.P."

"Tell us WHAT Kelly?" asked Johnny as he and Julie approached carrying towels.

"Please sit down my [sniff, sniff] brother and sister. [sniff, sniff]. Things have changed," I cried.

Then Julie started beating on my chest in helpless fury," NO KELLY!! IT CAN'T BE!! YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND FOR LIFE!!" she yelled.

I stood there, quietly enduring her rage. The tears running down my cheeks mute testimony to my anguish that nothing compared to the hell that I was enduring now. Here I was Julie's best friend, and boyfriend betraying her love. But I could not do otherwise. She deserved to have a loving husband who could give her a family.

As she spent her rage, she looked me in the eye, "Do you still love me as a sister?"

"Always Julie, maybe in time like before."

"I hope so Kelly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did not know it, but that night, Julie made a choice that would be her Gift to me. She gathered her family and my momma in the Playhouse while I slept fitfully in my bedroom.

"Mom, dad, Johnny, Mrs. Moore, I know that Kelly has very little chance of being a father now, and according to my research, he will soon need his gonads removed to prevent cancer."

"Yes, I asked the doctors at the clinic and that is the procedure to prevent cancer," affirmed momma."

"That is why if possible, harvest his seed and implant it in me after I graduate."

After several minutes of discussion, everybody agreed that she could do it and would keep it secret from me until after the child was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Aunt Debbie got word of my accident and she had a talk with my grandparents.

"Momma, poppa, I have terrible new about Kelly!"

Granny put away her book and looked up at her distraught daughter as Grandpa stopped fiddling with repairing an old fan, "Is this about him walloping a boy for being fresh with Julie?" asked Granny.

"It's much worse than that momma, as bad as what happened to me, she cried.

"WHAT!!??" exclaimed Grandpa.

"Some doctor took away his manhood, now Kelly can no longer be a daddy."

Then Grandpa hugged Debbie, "My child, we will be here for Kelly."

"I know poppa, but I am scared that he might hate me if he ever found out and he might hurt me because of his hurt," she cried.

"Then whenever he is here, you will be away at the cabin," stated Granny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily, I did not have to have my gonads amputated. Because of all of the female hormones and something unique about my body, my gonads remained dormant except for the odd erection from a wet dream about once a month. When that was discovered, and that my wet dreams had a cycle, I started to wear a condom to capture the semen for the doctor.

Unfortunately for Julie, I started seeing Johnny as my boyfriend. She saw the change and even though it broke her heart, she accepted the the change in my heart because I turned to her twin brother Johnny in my heart of hearts.

Julie's thoughts: [' Oh Kelly my Beloved, I see the change in your heart even if my brother is blind to it! I see how you now have bonded with him in sports and are becoming more of a jock to prove that you are a man to yourself. Yet I also see the Love Light that you had for me now you have for Johnny. I will not stop you. I will do all that I can to help you in your choice for my brother Johnny is very lucky to have you.']

In school, I went out for sports and played along side Johnny. I loved playing in any sport and it was only as I stayed small that I was the kicker in football. Johnny and I were inseparable on the field. We excelled in every sport that the school or Community Center sponsored.

"Good game you two, have you guys ever thought about playing for a pro team?'" asked Coach Hornsby.

"Dave, they're just kids, let'em enjoy being kids,' admonished my Momma.

"I know that, but I think that they have potential."

Then Mr. Woods handed us kids our popsicles. "I agree with you, let our kids be kids. I will not force mine to be something that they don't want to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then we had a Spirit Day where we could dress as anything that showed our School Spirit. I asked Momma for one of her old Cheerleader uniforms. There were pictures of her on the mantle from back then And I thought that I'd look cute in one of them. She was astonished that I'd ask, but she let me have them all. So I chose the blue sailor dress and red bloomers with white socks and shoes. She helped me too get ready and was amazed that I knew about makeup. After I was ready, Momma gave me her approval.

I learned later that Momma was worried about me: ['My son Kelly has finally asked for my help in dressing up in a costume. I blame myself for being to busy to really be there for him. I have been allowing the Woods to raise him for me. And now I am saddened that only now am I a part of his girl world. [sigh.] Does he want to become a girl or just dress as one?']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny was really impressed with my costume too. ['Kelly was a knockout in school today. I kept on forgetting that he is a boy, not a girl. I think that I am in love with him as a girl now. Am I gay for loving a guy in a dress? What if Kelly is really a girl? I am so confused.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was still out for the season, so I was not at the game in uniform. Because of the time of the year, I had turned in my uniforms until after I was cleared to play again. Mom is working late and the school has a home game tonight. So I'm wearing one of Mom's old Cheerleader uniforms from when she went to school. I carefully applied makeup and spritzed on my favorite perfume. My hair, I did up in a ponytail since I had no time for anything more elaborate. I looked just like her when she was a Cheerleader. My hair brushed out, makeup done as well as I could do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately, there was a group that attacked anybody in costumes. It all really started back when I was in junior high. A local Goth group had taken it upon themselves to rid the community of undesirables, mainly those they considered freaks. Luckily, I was always with my best friends, so they never attacked me, but they did try to get others to listen to their message.

It was led by Pastor Linden. He was an old-style, Bible-thumping, fire & brimstone, preacher that hated any and all that went against his sensibilities. When he found out that I was dressing as a girl, he actually tried to get me expelled, But Principal Franklin and Coach Cartwright both stood up to him and Mister Woods stopped supporting his church. After that, he had to start working because he had no diploma making him a pastor. But he did unfortunately organize his flock into hate mongers that bash those they hate.

We later learned from Mister Woods about the bashers. The police have just issued a Public Warning about the Halloween Basher Thugs. They're once again attacking any body in a costume. So far, they've stayed on the other side of the river, but now they've crossed over. I've warned my children and Kelly and they promised me that they'd be careful and spread the news.

The only reason that I am taking this chance is this is Halloween. I was one of the few boys that decided to dress as a girl and unlike the others, I actually looked like a girl. A few of the jocks had decided to clown it up for a laugh. They had worn some of the costume from the prop room for pep rally skit. They got applause for the humor. Not me, I had already proven myself today and tonight was for me. I walked to the school and paid the admission fee. Then I went and got my refreshments and sat on the bleacher, waiting for the game to start. I saw my friend Julie in her Cheerleader outfit. I always wanted to be a Cheerleader, but I am a boy, not a girl. I wanted to be the one cheering Johnny to victory. [sigh]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily for me, the Bashers were all caught, but the news that I got later was disturbing indeed. Mister Woods told us that they finally caught the thugs just before the game started. What is scary is that they had targeted the game because of the costumes. They could have hurt me and others. All this because of one man's hatred. Well, now, we can sleep in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then after the game, Julie and Johnny came over to me. We went out to fence and sat down upon the bus stop bench for privacy as the parking lot was on the other side of the field. They were worried because of the recent attacks at Halloween. "WOW Kelly, you look great! That looks like one of the old Cheerleader uniforms. Where did you get it?"

"It is Julie, It's my Momma's old uniform. I look just like she did when she went to school here too." 'I should know because Momma took my picture.' [giggle]

Johnny said, "Why are you wearing your Mom's old Cheerleader uniform?" with concern. "There had been several incidents where thugs had assaulted women and girls in the area and the cops had yet to catch them and with you being a boy, they might hurt you. Don't you care about your safety?"

"I have wanted to dress as a girl for years. Remember that for every Halloween that I have always dressed as a girl and you have always liked it too." 'Oh Johnny, how can I hope to get you to understand my inner desire that I can never quench?'

"I know Kelly, but what if the thugs see you? If you ever got hurt, I'd just die!!!"

"Julie, I have lived with that fear for years now, but I can not give up being a girl." Turning to Johnny. "We have been best friends for years Johnny, now I need your friendship now more than ever." 'Will he be there for me?'

"Why now? What's your problem Kelly and why do you need my help?"

"Soon, I will graduate and I am unsure of my future, "I cried. ['I guess that it's time to tell them, but I'm afraid of their reaction.']

"What do you mean? I thought that we were going to college together. You know, the Three Musketeers all over again like when we were kids."

"I do not know if I am a boy or a girl. " I began weeping as I finally admitted the truth to them. "I have been having dreams of being a girl for years and only when I dress as a girl do I feel right. Julie, you have been so kind to help me to be a girl. Johnny, you've been the best brother that I could ask for."

"Any time, my sister Kelly, have you given up being a boy?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I never have been that convincing a boy now have I? ['Being the same size as you sure has helped too. Oh why couldn't I have looked like my Dad?']

"What are you going to do?" Asked Johnny.

He needed to know because we three had been planning upon attending college together and now with my scholarship, it was a done deal.

"I do not know," ['What will you do now Johnny? After making plans for college, I've effectively squashed them just now.' ]

Then Johnny put his right arm around me "Kelly, I always thought that we would all three be going to college together."

"Johnny, I thought so too, but I have to work out who and what I am. Ever since that first Halloween when I was Tinkerbell, I've found out the bitter truth. I want to be a girl, not to just dress as a girl anymore. I know that this is especially hard for you, but tonight brought it all out."

"Kelly, are you sure about that? I will support whatever choice it is that you make my friend, Good thing I haven't accepted a scholarship yet."

"Yes Johnny, now more than ever." I'd finally dried my tears on a hanky that Julie handed me.

"Kelly, I think that it is brave of you to admit this. You can count on me to help." Then she hugged me as I wept again.

There I was with my best friends who'd accepted the change in plans. What I later learned was that they'd never really finalized any college plans with me. They knew me better than I knew myself. They told me that they'd seen Kelly girl grow and take over. They knew that I had to decide who and what I was.

"Me too. Looks like I have a sister now, Kelly the boy is gone and Kelly the girl is here to stay," observed Julie. "Kelly, your face is a mess!! Shall I fix it for you?" Then she began to brandish her arsenal of makeup at me from her purse. Don't ask me how she does it I still can't do that trick.

"Thanks guys, [giggle] I look a right mess don't I? [giggle] I should have worn waterproof mascara." [giggle] I felt so relieved that they had accepted me news.

"Well, you do look a bit like a raccoon," chuckled Johnny as Julie redid my makeup for me.

Then as we were walking back to my house, we sat upon the bench outside of the community center. Johnny looked at me and whispered something to Julie, she stepped aside to give us privacy.

"Kelly?" ['I can't believe that I'm about to admit this to my best friend, but Kelly need to know exactly how I feel about her.']

"Yes Johnny? What did you say to Julie just now? What do you have to tell me? Is our friendship over now? Considering the hell that I've put you through just now, I deserve it.''

Ever since you were Tinkerbell for Halloween, I have been in love with a special girl, at first, it was kiddy love, but now it's much more. That girl is you." ['There. I told her.']

"Me? " ['ME? I'm his special girl?' I could hardly believe it after my revelation.']

"Yes, you. Please don't freak out on me."

"But I'm a boy and your best friend under this dress. " ['Am I really ready to be a girl, more importantly, am I ready to be JOHNNY'S GIRL???']

"I know that, but right now, you look like a girl, my girl." Then he kissed me gently. I felt a spark flow between us and I knew that as a girl, I was in love with Johnny. But what about as a boy? I was both elated and confused as we broke our kiss. Could I be a girl, THE GIRL for Johnny?

"Kelly, want me to walk you home? I can't let you walk alone after all of this." ['She's too precious too me.']

"Yes Johnny. "Then we walked Julie to their home and she went in after kissing me on the cheek. It was like kissing my sister if I had one.

"Good night my sister, she said as she hugged me. Welcome to the world of being a girl Kelly my friend."

Then I returned the hug, "Good night sister, of my heart." Without you, I never would have known what being a girl was all about."

Then she went inside and shut the door and turned off the porch light. Then Johnny and I walked to my house where we sat in the backyard swing. We sat there for a while as the moon rose up in the sky. I felt so safe and comfortable by Johnny.

"You are so beautiful Kelly. I don't care that you are a boy. You're a girl to me."

"Thanks Johnny." Then we kissed again and I undid his jeans and took his member into my mouth. He looked on with excitement as I stroked him to full erection. Julie had told me of how the Cheerleaders had treated their boyfriends and now that I was one, I thought 'WHY NOT?'

"Do not all the Cheerleaders do this for their boyfriends?"

"Many do Kelly, are you sure that you want to?"

"Yes."

"But you are my best friend, not a girl."

"Right now, I AM a girl, I am your girl."

Then I took him in my mouth and massaged him until he erupted in me. I greedily swallowed his juice and cleaned up the residue. Then I leaned in for a kiss. He embraced me and kissed my lips. I knew that as a woman that I had pleased my man. Right then, I was a woman in my heart.

"I love you Kelly, forever and always." then he zipped up his jeans and left. I could tell that he loved me as a girl, but could I be the girl that he wants? For years, I had dressed as a girl for Halloween and as a girl over at the Woods. Julie had taught me about being a girl but could I be Johnny's girl? Would Johnny want me to be his girl after this?

I later learned that he was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly is so beautiful as a girl that even though I know that she's really a boy under that dress, he is all girl to me. But am I crazy for wanting Kelly as my girlfriend? I've dated before so I do know that I like girls and not boys. Could Kelly be the girl of my dreams after all even though he is a boy? Do I want to marry a boy?']

---

After that, I found that I was thinking about Johnny instead of Julie. I still loved her, but I found that I wanted to marry Johnny instead. It all came to a head when I dreamed about daddy. I saw him sitting by a pond, sitting upon an old tree stump, waiting for me.

"Come over here Kelly."

"Yes daddy," I glided over to where he sat and he swept me into his strong arms.

"How is my son doing?"

"Oh daddy, NOW I don't know if I am your son or daughter!" I wept.

"Because of that doctor."

"Uh huh, I don't want to hurt Julie, but if I can't be a husband and give her children, I shouldn't try to be her boyfriend."

"Don't you think that should be HER choice?"

"Yes daddy, but NOW I don't see her as a girlfriend and I don't know what I should pray for!"

"Why is that?"

"Because NOW I want to be Johnny's girlfriend."

"And you think that that is wrong?"

"Isn't it?"

"What do you feel in your heart?"

"That I love Johnny."

"Do you feel that you should have been born a girl?"

"NOW I do, in fact, ever since I was Tinkerbell, I've wanted to be a girl."

Then a man in a white linen robe approached us, I saw scars on his forehead and holes in his palms. There was an utter sense of Peace and Belonging about Him. Then I knew Who I was seeing.

"JESUS!!"

"Yes Kelly, I am He," He smiled.

Next thing I knew, I was in His arms, "Jesus, am I bad for wanting to be a girl?"

"No My Child, it is a part of your journey to choose."

"But what about Julie and Johnny?"

"Whatever your choice, they will find one for them."

"So being confused about my gender is OK?"

"Yes, many of My Children are confused, unfortunately, all too many only find fulfillment up here after their journey is over," he sighed.

"Why do you not help them?"

"I do, but they must accept My Help."

"Kelly?"

"Yes daddy?"

"If you choose Johnny, Julie will give you a special gift."

"What gift?"

"THAT young Kelly will be shown after you choose," admonished Jesus.

Then I woke up with tears in my eyes as I slept next to momma, "Kelly, are you OK?"

"Yes momma, I just had a wonderful dream."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Fine momma, I'll tell you and the Woods after breakfast."

Then I went to sleep and didn't wake up until rather late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up Kelly, or you'll miss lunch," yelled Julie from the doorway as she passed by wearing her red swim dress.

I jumped up and noticed that I was still wearing yesterday's plaid shirt and jeans while my boots were on the floor. I got showered, looking at my diminished goods and knew the choice to make. I donned my Batman trunks and matching top with sandals and towel and headed to the patio-pool area where a scrumptious lunch of burgers, fries, hot dogs and salad was spread out along with an assortment of sodas. Our parents only drank spirits on special holidays and never smoked.

"Well, how's things Kelly?"

"I don't know rightly, Mister Woods, I have an announcement to make that involves Julie AND Johnny."

"Does it have to do with what that doctor did to you?"

Yes Mrs. Woods, it has EVERYTHING to do with that."

"Perhaps you had best wait till tonight to tell then."

"No momma, I need to tell them A.S.A.P."

"Tell us WHAT Kelly?" asked Johnny as he and Julie approached carrying towels.

"Please sit down my [sniff, sniff] brother and sister. [sniff, sniff]. Things have changed," I cried.

Then Julie started beating on my chest in helpless fury," NO KELLY!! IT CAN'T BE!! YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND FOR LIFE!!" she yelled.

I stood there, quietly enduring her rage. The tears running down my cheeks mute testimony to my anguish that nothing compared to the hell that I was enduring now. Here I was Julie's best friend, and boyfriend betraying her love. But I could not do otherwise. She deserved to have a loving husband who could give her a family.

As she spent her rage, she looked me in the eye, "Do you still love me as a sister?"

"Always Julie, maybe in time like before."

"I hope so Kelly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did not know it, but that night, Julie made a choice that would be her Gift to me. She gathered her family and my momma in the Playhouse while I slept fitfully in my bedroom.

"Mom, dad, Johnny, Mrs. Moore, I know that Kelly has very little chance of being a father now, and according to my research, he will soon need his gonads removed to prevent cancer."

"Yes, I asked the doctors at the clinic and that is the procedure to prevent cancer," affirmed momma."

"That is why if possible, harvest his seed and implant it in me after I graduate."

After several minutes of discussion, everybody agreed that she could do it and would keep it secret from me until after the child was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Aunt Debbie got word of my accident and she had a talk with my grandparents.

"Momma, poppa, I have terrible new about Kelly!"

Granny put away her book and looked up at her distraught daughter as Grandpa stopped fiddling with repairing an old fan, "Is this about him walloping a boy for being fresh with Julie?" asked Granny.

"It's much worse than that momma, as bad as what happened to me, she cried.

"WHAT!!??" exclaimed Grandpa.

"Some doctor took away his manhood, now Kelly can no longer be a daddy."

Then Grandpa hugged Debbie, "My child, we will be here for Kelly."

"I know poppa, but I am scared that he might hate me if he ever found out and he might hurt me because of his hurt," she cried.

"Then whenever he is here, you will be away at the cabin," stated Granny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily, I did not have to have my gonads amputated. Because of all of the female hormones and something unique about my body, my gonads remained dormant except for the odd erection from a wet dream about once a month. When that was discovered, and that my wet dreams had a cycle, I started to wear a condom to capture the semen for the doctor.

Unfortunately for Julie, I started seeing Johnny as my boyfriend. She saw the change and even though it broke her heart, she accepted the the change in my heart because I turned to her twin brother Johnny in my heart of hearts.

Julie's thoughts: [' Oh Kelly my Beloved, I see the change in your heart even if my brother is blind to it! I see how you now have bonded with him in sports and are becoming more of a jock to prove that you are a man to yourself. Yet I also see the Love Light that you had for me now you have for Johnny. I will not stop you. I will do all that I can to help you in your choice for my brother Johnny is very lucky to have you.']

In school, I went out for sports and played along side Johnny. I loved playing in any sport and it was only as I stayed small that I was the kicker in football. Johnny and I were inseparable on the field. We excelled in every sport that the school or Community Center sponsored.

"Good game you two, have you guys ever thought about playing for a pro team?'" asked Coach Hornsby.

"Dave, they're just kids, let'em enjoy being kids,' admonished my Momma.

"I know that, but I think that they have potential."

Then Mr. Woods handed us kids our popsicles. "I agree with you, let our kids be kids. I will not force mine to be something that they don't want to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then we had a Spirit Day where we could dress as anything that showed our School Spirit. I asked Momma for one of her old Cheerleader uniforms. There were pictures of her on the mantle from back then And I thought that I'd look cute in one of them. She was astonished that I'd ask, but she let me have them all. So I chose the blue sailor dress and red bloomers with white socks and shoes. She helped me too get ready and was amazed that I knew about makeup. After I was ready, Momma gave me her approval.

I learned later that Momma was worried about me: ['My son Kelly has finally asked for my help in dressing up in a costume. I blame myself for being to busy to really be there for him. I have been allowing the Woods to raise him for me. And now I am saddened that only now am I a part of his girl world. [sigh.] Does he want to become a girl or just dress as one?']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny was really impressed with my costume too. ['Kelly was a knockout in school today. I kept on forgetting that he is a boy, not a girl. I think that I am in love with him as a girl now. Am I gay for loving a guy in a dress? What if Kelly is really a girl? I am so confused.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was still out for the season, so I was not at the game in uniform. Because of the time of the year, I had turned in my uniforms until after I was cleared to play again. Mom is working late and the school has a home game tonight. So I'm wearing one of Mom's old Cheerleader uniforms from when she went to school. I carefully applied makeup and spritzed on my favorite perfume. My hair, I did up in a ponytail since I had no time for anything more elaborate. I looked just like her when she was a Cheerleader. My hair brushed out, makeup done as well as I could do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately, there was a group that attacked anybody in costumes. It all really started back when I was in junior high. A local Goth group had taken it upon themselves to rid the community of undesirables, mainly those they considered freaks. Luckily, I was always with my best friends, so they never attacked me, but they did try to get others to listen to their message.

It was led by Pastor Linden. He was an old-style, Bible-thumping, fire & brimstone, preacher that hated any and all that went against his sensibilities. When he found out that I was dressing as a girl, he actually tried to get me expelled, But Principal Franklin and Coach Cartwright both stood up to him and Mister Woods stopped supporting his church. After that, he had to start working because he had no diploma making him a pastor. But he did unfortunately organize his flock into hate mongers that bash those they hate.

We later learned from Mister Woods about the bashers. The police have just issued a Public Warning about the Halloween Basher Thugs. They're once again attacking any body in a costume. So far, they've stayed on the other side of the river, but now they've crossed over. I've warned my children and Kelly and they promised me that they'd be careful and spread the news.

The only reason that I am taking this chance is this is Halloween. I was one of the few boys that decided to dress as a girl and unlike the others, I actually looked like a girl. A few of the jocks had decided to clown it up for a laugh. They had worn some of the costume from the prop room for pep rally skit. They got applause for the humor. Not me, I had already proven myself today and tonight was for me. I walked to the school and paid the admission fee. Then I went and got my refreshments and sat on the bleacher, waiting for the game to start. I saw my friend Julie in her Cheerleader outfit. I always wanted to be a Cheerleader, but I am a boy, not a girl. I wanted to be the one cheering Johnny to victory. [sigh]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily for me, the Bashers were all caught, but the news that I got later was disturbing indeed. Mister Woods told us that they finally caught the thugs just before the game started. What is scary is that they had targeted the game because of the costumes. They could have hurt me and others. All this because of one man's hatred. Well, now, we can sleep in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then after the game, Julie and Johnny came over to me. We went out to fence and sat down upon the bus stop bench for privacy as the parking lot was on the other side of the field. They were worried because of the recent attacks at Halloween. "WOW Kelly, you look great! That looks like one of the old Cheerleader uniforms. Where did you get it?"

"It is Julie, It's my Momma's old uniform. I look just like she did when she went to school here too." 'I should know because Momma took my picture.' [giggle]

Johnny said, "Why are you wearing your Mom's old Cheerleader uniform?" with concern. "There had been several incidents where thugs had assaulted women and girls in the area and the cops had yet to catch them and with you being a boy, they might hurt you. Don't you care about your safety?"

"I have wanted to dress as a girl for years. Remember that for every Halloween that I have always dressed as a girl and you have always liked it too." 'Oh Johnny, how can I hope to get you to understand my inner desire that I can never quench?'

"I know Kelly, but what if the thugs see you? If you ever got hurt, I'd just die!!!"

"Julie, I have lived with that fear for years now, but I can not give up being a girl." Turning to Johnny. "We have been best friends for years Johnny, now I need your friendship now more than ever." 'Will he be there for me?'

"Why now? What's your problem Kelly and why do you need my help?"

"Soon, I will graduate and I am unsure of my future, "I cried. ['I guess that it's time to tell them, but I'm afraid of their reaction.']

"What do you mean? I thought that we were going to college together. You know, the Three Musketeers all over again like when we were kids."

"I do not know if I am a boy or a girl. " I began weeping as I finally admitted the truth to them. "I have been having dreams of being a girl for years and only when I dress as a girl do I feel right. Julie, you have been so kind to help me to be a girl. Johnny, you've been the best brother that I could ask for."

"Any time, my sister Kelly, have you given up being a boy?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I never have been that convincing a boy now have I? ['Being the same size as you sure has helped too. Oh why couldn't I have looked like my Dad?']

"What are you going to do?" Asked Johnny.

He needed to know because we three had been planning upon attending college together and now with my scholarship, it was a done deal.

"I do not know," ['What will you do now Johnny? After making plans for college, I've effectively squashed them just now.' ]

Then Johnny put his right arm around me "Kelly, I always thought that we would all three be going to college together."

"Johnny, I thought so too, but I have to work out who and what I am. Ever since that first Halloween when I was Tinkerbell, I've found out the bitter truth. I want to be a girl, not to just dress as a girl anymore. I know that this is especially hard for you, but tonight brought it all out."

"Kelly, are you sure about that? I will support whatever choice it is that you make my friend, Good thing I haven't accepted a scholarship yet."

"Yes Johnny, now more than ever." I'd finally dried my tears on a hanky that Julie handed me.

"Kelly, I think that it is brave of you to admit this. You can count on me to help." Then she hugged me as I wept again.

There I was with my best friends who'd accepted the change in plans. What I later learned was that they'd never really finalized any college plans with me. They knew me better than I knew myself. They told me that they'd seen Kelly girl grow and take over. They knew that I had to decide who and what I was.

"Me too. Looks like I have a sister now, Kelly the boy is gone and Kelly the girl is here to stay," observed Julie. "Kelly, your face is a mess!! Shall I fix it for you?" Then she began to brandish her arsenal of makeup at me from her purse. Don't ask me how she does it I still can't do that trick.

"Thanks guys, [giggle] I look a right mess don't I? [giggle] I should have worn waterproof mascara." [giggle] I felt so relieved that they had accepted me news.

"Well, you do look a bit like a raccoon," chuckled Johnny as Julie redid my makeup for me.

Then as we were walking back to my house, we sat upon the bench outside of the community center. Johnny looked at me and whispered something to Julie, she stepped aside to give us privacy.

"Kelly?" ['I can't believe that I'm about to admit this to my best friend, but Kelly need to know exactly how I feel about her.']

"Yes Johnny? What did you say to Julie just now? What do you have to tell me? Is our friendship over now? Considering the hell that I've put you through just now, I deserve it.''

Ever since you were Tinkerbell for Halloween, I have been in love with a special girl, at first, it was kiddy love, but now it's much more. That girl is you." ['There. I told her.']

"Me? " ['ME? I'm his special girl?' I could hardly believe it after my revelation.']

"Yes, you. Please don't freak out on me."

"But I'm a boy and your best friend under this dress. " ['Am I really ready to be a girl, more importantly, am I ready to be JOHNNY'S GIRL???']

"I know that, but right now, you look like a girl, my girl." Then he kissed me gently. I felt a spark flow between us and I knew that as a girl, I was in love with Johnny. But what about as a boy? I was both elated and confused as we broke our kiss. Could I be a girl, THE GIRL for Johnny?

"Kelly, want me to walk you home? I can't let you walk alone after all of this." ['She's too precious too me.']

"Yes Johnny. "Then we walked Julie to their home and she went in after kissing me on the cheek. It was like kissing my sister if I had one.

"Good night my sister, she said as she hugged me. Welcome to the world of being a girl Kelly my friend."

Then I returned the hug, "Good night sister, of my heart." Without you, I never would have known what being a girl was all about."

Then she went inside and shut the door and turned off the porch light. Then Johnny and I walked to my house where we sat in the backyard swing. We sat there for a while as the moon rose up in the sky. I felt so safe and comfortable by Johnny.

"You are so beautiful Kelly. I don't care that you are a boy. You're a girl to me."

"Thanks Johnny." Then we kissed again and I undid his jeans and took his member into my mouth. He looked on with excitement as I stroked him to full erection. Julie had told me of how the Cheerleaders had treated their boyfriends and now that I was one, I thought 'WHY NOT?'

"Do not all the Cheerleaders do this for their boyfriends?"

"Many do Kelly, are you sure that you want to?"

"Yes."

"But you are my best friend, not a girl."

"Right now, I AM a girl, I am your girl."

Then I took him in my mouth and massaged him until he erupted in me. I greedily swallowed his juice and cleaned up the residue. Then I leaned in for a kiss. He embraced me and kissed my lips. I knew that as a woman that I had pleased my man. Right then, I was a woman in my heart.

"I love you Kelly, forever and always." then he zipped up his jeans and left. I could tell that he loved me as a girl, but could I be the girl that he wants? For years, I had dressed as a girl for Halloween and as a girl over at the Woods. Julie had taught me about being a girl but could I be Johnny's girl? Would Johnny want me to be his girl after this?

I later learned that he was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly is so beautiful as a girl that even though I know that she's really a boy under that dress, he is all girl to me. But am I crazy for wanting Kelly as my girlfriend? I've dated before so I do know that I like girls and not boys. Could Kelly be the girl of my dreams after all even though he is a boy? Do I want to marry a boy?']

Kelly's Journey Chapter 6: Choices By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After learning the terrible news, Kelly decides to make the most of a bad situation, much to Julie's dismay. In school, Kelly proves to be a tom boy as she excels in sports side by side with her best friend Johnny. Her small size and quickness contrasts well with Johnny's size and strength. Together, they become the school's top athletes, while Kelly also excelled in academics, easily earning herself several scholarships. Yet, as her dressing continues, it expands to help others in need. Yet at a game, she finds out who she is.

---

After that, I found that I was thinking about Johnny instead of Julie. I still loved her, but I found that I wanted to marry Johnny instead. It all came to a head when I dreamed about daddy. I saw him sitting by a pond, sitting upon an old tree stump, waiting for me.

"Come over here Kelly."

"Yes daddy," I glided over to where he sat and he swept me into his strong arms.

"How is my son doing?"

"Oh daddy, NOW I don't know if I am your son or daughter!" I wept.

"Because of that doctor."

"Uh huh, I don't want to hurt Julie, but if I can't be a husband and give her children, I shouldn't try to be her boyfriend."

"Don't you think that should be HER choice?"

"Yes daddy, but NOW I don't see her as a girlfriend and I don't know what I should pray for!"

"Why is that?"

"Because NOW I want to be Johnny's girlfriend."

"And you think that that is wrong?"

"Isn't it?"

"What do you feel in your heart?"

"That I love Johnny."

"Do you feel that you should have been born a girl?"

"NOW I do, in fact, ever since I was Tinkerbell, I've wanted to be a girl."

Then a man in a white linen robe approached us, I saw scars on his forehead and holes in his palms. There was an utter sense of Peace and Belonging about Him. Then I knew Who I was seeing.

"JESUS!!"

"Yes Kelly, I am He," He smiled.

Next thing I knew, I was in His arms, "Jesus, am I bad for wanting to be a girl?"

"No My Child, it is a part of your journey to choose."

"But what about Julie and Johnny?"

"Whatever your choice, they will find one for them."

"So being confused about my gender is OK?"

"Yes, many of My Children are confused, unfortunately, all too many only find fulfillment up here after their journey is over," he sighed.

"Why do you not help them?"

"I do, but they must accept My Help."

"Kelly?"

"Yes daddy?"

"If you choose Johnny, Julie will give you a special gift."

"What gift?"

"THAT young Kelly will be shown after you choose," admonished Jesus.

Then I woke up with tears in my eyes as I slept next to momma, "Kelly, are you OK?"

"Yes momma, I just had a wonderful dream."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Fine momma, I'll tell you and the Woods after breakfast."

Then I went to sleep and didn't wake up until rather late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Wake up Kelly, or you'll miss lunch," yelled Julie from the doorway as she passed by wearing her red swim dress.

I jumped up and noticed that I was still wearing yesterday's plaid shirt and jeans while my boots were on the floor. I got showered, looking at my diminished goods and knew the choice to make. I donned my Batman trunks and matching top with sandals and towel and headed to the patio-pool area where a scrumptious lunch of burgers, fries, hot dogs and salad was spread out along with an assortment of sodas. Our parents only drank spirits on special holidays and never smoked.

"Well, how's things Kelly?"

"I don't know rightly, Mister Woods, I have an announcement to make that involves Julie AND Johnny."

"Does it have to do with what that doctor did to you?"

Yes Mrs. Woods, it has EVERYTHING to do with that."

"Perhaps you had best wait till tonight to tell then."

"No momma, I need to tell them A.S.A.P."

"Tell us WHAT Kelly?" asked Johnny as he and Julie approached carrying towels.

"Please sit down my [sniff, sniff] brother and sister. [sniff, sniff]. Things have changed," I cried.

Then Julie started beating on my chest in helpless fury," NO KELLY!! IT CAN'T BE!! YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND FOR LIFE!!" she yelled.

I stood there, quietly enduring her rage. The tears running down my cheeks mute testimony to my anguish that nothing compared to the hell that I was enduring now. Here I was Julie's best friend, and boyfriend betraying her love. But I could not do otherwise. She deserved to have a loving husband who could give her a family.

As she spent her rage, she looked me in the eye, "Do you still love me as a sister?"

"Always Julie, maybe in time like before."

"I hope so Kelly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I did not know it, but that night, Julie made a choice that would be her Gift to me. She gathered her family and my momma in the Playhouse while I slept fitfully in my bedroom.

"Mom, dad, Johnny, Mrs. Moore, I know that Kelly has very little chance of being a father now, and according to my research, he will soon need his gonads removed to prevent cancer."

"Yes, I asked the doctors at the clinic and that is the procedure to prevent cancer," affirmed momma."

"That is why if possible, harvest his seed and implant it in me after I graduate."

After several minutes of discussion, everybody agreed that she could do it and would keep it secret from me until after the child was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Meanwhile, Aunt Debbie got word of my accident and she had a talk with my grandparents.

"Momma, poppa, I have terrible new about Kelly!"

Granny put away her book and looked up at her distraught daughter as Grandpa stopped fiddling with repairing an old fan, "Is this about him walloping a boy for being fresh with Julie?" asked Granny.

"It's much worse than that momma, as bad as what happened to me, she cried.

"WHAT!!??" exclaimed Grandpa.

"Some doctor took away his manhood, now Kelly can no longer be a daddy."

Then Grandpa hugged Debbie, "My child, we will be here for Kelly."

"I know poppa, but I am scared that he might hate me if he ever found out and he might hurt me because of his hurt," she cried.

"Then whenever he is here, you will be away at the cabin," stated Granny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Luckily, I did not have to have my gonads amputated. Because of all of the female hormones and something unique about my body, my gonads remained dormant except for the odd erection from a wet dream about once a month. When that was discovered, and that my wet dreams had a cycle, I started to wear a condom to capture the semen for the doctor.

Unfortunately for Julie, I started seeing Johnny as my boyfriend. She saw the change and even though it broke her heart, she accepted the the change in my heart because I turned to her twin brother Johnny in my heart of hearts.

Julie's thoughts: [' Oh Kelly my Beloved, I see the change in your heart even if my brother is blind to it! I see how you now have bonded with him in sports and are becoming more of a jock to prove that you are a man to yourself. Yet I also see the Love Light that you had for me now you have for Johnny. I will not stop you. I will do all that I can to help you in your choice for my brother Johnny is very lucky to have you.']

In school, I went out for sports and played along side Johnny. I loved playing in any sport and it was only as I stayed small that I was the kicker in football. Johnny and I were inseparable on the field. We excelled in every sport that the school or Community Center sponsored.

"Good game you two, have you guys ever thought about playing for a pro team?'" asked Coach Hornsby.

"Dave, they're just kids, let'em enjoy being kids,' admonished my Momma.

"I know that, but I think that they have potential."

Then Mr. Woods handed us kids our popsicles. "I agree with you, let our kids be kids. I will not force mine to be something that they don't want to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Then we had a Spirit Day where we could dress as anything that showed our School Spirit. I asked Momma for one of her old Cheerleader uniforms. There were pictures of her on the mantle from back then And I thought that I'd look cute in one of them. She was astonished that I'd ask, but she let me have them all. So I chose the blue sailor dress and red bloomers with white socks and shoes. She helped me too get ready and was amazed that I knew about makeup. After I was ready, Momma gave me her approval.

I learned later that Momma was worried about me: ['My son Kelly has finally asked for my help in dressing up in a costume. I blame myself for being to busy to really be there for him. I have been allowing the Woods to raise him for me. And now I am saddened that only now am I a part of his girl world. [sigh.] Does he want to become a girl or just dress as one?']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Johnny was really impressed with my costume too. ['Kelly was a knockout in school today. I kept on forgetting that he is a boy, not a girl. I think that I am in love with him as a girl now. Am I gay for loving a guy in a dress? What if Kelly is really a girl? I am so confused.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I was still out for the season, so I was not at the game in uniform. Because of the time of the year, I had turned in my uniforms until after I was cleared to play again. Mom is working late and the school has a home game tonight. So I'm wearing one of Mom's old Cheerleader uniforms from when she went to school. I carefully applied makeup and spritzed on my favorite perfume. My hair, I did up in a ponytail since I had no time for anything more elaborate. I looked just like her when she was a Cheerleader. My hair brushed out, makeup done as well as I could do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Unfortunately, there was a group that attacked anybody in costumes. It all really started back when I was in junior high. A local Goth group had taken it upon themselves to rid the community of undesirables, mainly those they considered freaks. Luckily, I was always with my best friends, so they never attacked me, but they did try to get others to listen to their message.

It was led by Pastor Linden. He was an old-style, Bible-thumping, fire & brimstone, preacher that hated any and all that went against his sensibilities. When he found out that I was dressing as a girl, he actually tried to get me expelled, But Principal Franklin and Coach Cartwright both stood up to him and Mister Woods stopped supporting his church. After that, he had to start working because he had no diploma making him a pastor. But he did unfortunately organize his flock into hate mongers that bash those they hate.

We later learned from Mister Woods about the bashers. The police have just issued a Public Warning about the Halloween Basher Thugs. They're once again attacking any body in a costume. So far, they've stayed on the other side of the river, but now they've crossed over. I've warned my children and Kelly and they promised me that they'd be careful and spread the news.

The only reason that I am taking this chance is this is Halloween. I was one of the few boys that decided to dress as a girl and unlike the others, I actually looked like a girl. A few of the jocks had decided to clown it up for a laugh. They had worn some of the costume from the prop room for pep rally skit. They got applause for the humor. Not me, I had already proven myself today and tonight was for me. I walked to the school and paid the admission fee. Then I went and got my refreshments and sat on the bleacher, waiting for the game to start. I saw my friend Julie in her Cheerleader outfit. I always wanted to be a Cheerleader, but I am a boy, not a girl. I wanted to be the one cheering Johnny to victory. [sigh]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Luckily for me, the Bashers were all caught, but the news that I got later was disturbing indeed. Mister Woods told us that they finally caught the thugs just before the game started. What is scary is that they had targeted the game because of the costumes. They could have hurt me and others. All this because of one man's hatred. Well, now, we can sleep in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Then after the game, Julie and Johnny came over to me. We went out to fence and sat down upon the bus stop bench for privacy as the parking lot was on the other side of the field. They were worried because of the recent attacks at Halloween. "WOW Kelly, you look great! That looks like one of the old Cheerleader uniforms. Where did you get it?"

"It is Julie, It's my Momma's old uniform. I look just like she did when she went to school here too." 'I should know because Momma took my picture.' [giggle]

Johnny said, "Why are you wearing your Mom's old Cheerleader uniform?" with concern. "There had been several incidents where thugs had assaulted women and girls in the area and the cops had yet to catch them and with you being a boy, they might hurt you. Don't you care about your safety?"

"I have wanted to dress as a girl for years. Remember that for every Halloween that I have always dressed as a girl and you have always liked it too." 'Oh Johnny, how can I hope to get you to understand my inner desire that I can never quench?'

"I know Kelly, but what if the thugs see you? If you ever got hurt, I'd just die!!!"

"Julie, I have lived with that fear for years now, but I can not give up being a girl." Turning to Johnny. "We have been best friends for years Johnny, now I need your friendship now more than ever." 'Will he be there for me?'

"Why now? What's your problem Kelly and why do you need my help?"

"Soon, I will graduate and I am unsure of my future, "I cried. ['I guess that it's time to tell them, but I'm afraid of their reaction.']

"What do you mean? I thought that we were going to college together. You know, the Three Musketeers all over again like when we were kids."

"I do not know if I am a boy or a girl. " I began weeping as I finally admitted the truth to them. "I have been having dreams of being a girl for years and only when I dress as a girl do I feel right. Julie, you have been so kind to help me to be a girl. Johnny, you've been the best brother that I could ask for."

"Any time, my sister Kelly, have you given up being a boy?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I never have been that convincing a boy now have I? ['Being the same size as you sure has helped too. Oh why couldn't I have looked like my Dad?']

"What are you going to do?" Asked Johnny.

He needed to know because we three had been planning upon attending college together and now with my scholarship, it was a done deal.

"I do not know," ['What will you do now Johnny? After making plans for college, I've effectively squashed them just now.' ]

Then Johnny put his right arm around me "Kelly, I always thought that we would all three be going to college together."

"Johnny, I thought so too, but I have to work out who and what I am. Ever since that first Halloween when I was Tinkerbell, I've found out the bitter truth. I want to be a girl, not to just dress as a girl anymore. I know that this is especially hard for you, but tonight brought it all out."

"Kelly, are you sure about that? I will support whatever choice it is that you make my friend, Good thing I haven't accepted a scholarship yet."

"Yes Johnny, now more than ever." I'd finally dried my tears on a hanky that Julie handed me.

"Kelly, I think that it is brave of you to admit this. You can count on me to help." Then she hugged me as I wept again.

There I was with my best friends who'd accepted the change in plans. What I later learned was that they'd never really finalized any college plans with me. They knew me better than I knew myself. They told me that they'd seen Kelly girl grow and take over. They knew that I had to decide who and what I was.

"Me too. Looks like I have a sister now, Kelly the boy is gone and Kelly the girl is here to stay," observed Julie. "Kelly, your face is a mess!! Shall I fix it for you?" Then she began to brandish her arsenal of makeup at me from her purse. Don't ask me how she does it I still can't do that trick.

"Thanks guys, [giggle] I look a right mess don't I? [giggle] I should have worn waterproof mascara." [giggle] I felt so relieved that they had accepted me news.

"Well, you do look a bit like a raccoon," chuckled Johnny as Julie redid my makeup for me.

Then as we were walking back to my house, we sat upon the bench outside of the community center. Johnny looked at me and whispered something to Julie, she stepped aside to give us privacy.

"Kelly?" ['I can't believe that I'm about to admit this to my best friend, but Kelly need to know exactly how I feel about her.']

"Yes Johnny? What did you say to Julie just now? What do you have to tell me? Is our friendship over now? Considering the hell that I've put you through just now, I deserve it.''

Ever since you were Tinkerbell for Halloween, I have been in love with a special girl, at first, it was kiddy love, but now it's much more. That girl is you." ['There. I told her.']

"Me? " ['ME? I'm his special girl?' I could hardly believe it after my revelation.']

"Yes, you. Please don't freak out on me."

"But I'm a boy and your best friend under this dress. " ['Am I really ready to be a girl, more importantly, am I ready to be JOHNNY'S GIRL???']

"I know that, but right now, you look like a girl, my girl." Then he kissed me gently. I felt a spark flow between us and I knew that as a girl, I was in love with Johnny. But what about as a boy? I was both elated and confused as we broke our kiss. Could I be a girl, THE GIRL for Johnny?

"Kelly, want me to walk you home? I can't let you walk alone after all of this." ['She's too precious too me.']

"Yes Johnny. "Then we walked Julie to their home and she went in after kissing me on the cheek. It was like kissing my sister if I had one.

"Good night my sister, she said as she hugged me. Welcome to the world of being a girl Kelly my friend."

Then I returned the hug, "Good night sister, of my heart." Without you, I never would have known what being a girl was all about."

Then she went inside and shut the door and turned off the porch light. Then Johnny and I walked to my house where we sat in the backyard swing. We sat there for a while as the moon rose up in the sky. I felt so safe and comfortable by Johnny.

"You are so beautiful Kelly. I don't care that you are a boy. You're a girl to me."

"Thanks Johnny." Then we kissed again and I undid his jeans and took his member into my mouth. He looked on with excitement as I stroked him to full erection. Julie had told me of how the Cheerleaders had treated their boyfriends and now that I was one, I thought 'WHY NOT?'

"Do not all the Cheerleaders do this for their boyfriends?"

"Many do Kelly, are you sure that you want to?"

"Yes."

"But you are my best friend, not a girl."

"Right now, I AM a girl, I am your girl."

Then I took him in my mouth and massaged him until he erupted in me. I greedily swallowed his juice and cleaned up the residue. Then I leaned in for a kiss. He embraced me and kissed my lips. I knew that as a woman that I had pleased my man. Right then, I was a woman in my heart.

"I love you Kelly, forever and always." then he zipped up his jeans and left. I could tell that he loved me as a girl, but could I be the girl that he wants? For years, I had dressed as a girl for Halloween and as a girl over at the Woods. Julie had taught me about being a girl but could I be Johnny's girl? Would Johnny want me to be his girl after this?

I later learned that he was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly is so beautiful as a girl that even though I know that she's really a boy under that dress, he is all girl to me. But am I crazy for wanting Kelly as my girlfriend? I've dated before so I do know that I like girls and not boys. Could Kelly be the girl of my dreams after all even though he is a boy? Do I want to marry a boy?']

Kelly's Journey Chapter 8-Shopping By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Now that Kelly's mother has started to get involved in her child's life, Kelly becomes scared at the prospect of actually being out in public where strangers may discover her secret and out her in public or some bigot harming her or her family. It is only with the help of Kelly's best friend Julie that Terri Moore is able to take Kelly on what has become the national sport for all women: SHOPPING.

---

* * *
Then I saw Julie show up. She was smiling as she approached us and wearing a shorts set and pantyhose. I couldn't help but to notice how graceful she was and that the hose gave her legs sheen as the morning light played on her legs.

"Momma, Does Julie know?" [Shopping? Why would I want to go shopping? Momma had always bought my clothes. But then again, Julie loved to go shopping and we had fun unpacking her bags and hanging stuff up.]

"No, Dear. I doubt that she knows. She might have seemed you and Johnny, last night, though." ['We will BOTH tell them, later Right now, it's time to see if Julie is ready.']

Then Julie waved to us, "Hi! I see that Kelly is dressing as a girl. Looks like she loves pantyhose as much as I do. Here I am wearing a pink shorts outfit and hose and she almost matches me." [' I guess that Mrs. Moore finally saw Kelly in girl mode.']

"Yes Julie, I want for Kelly to feel safe enough to be herself. You two seem to know what the other is going to wear," Momma said as she glanced at both of us. [Then again, they grew up together.']

"Well, you know what they say?" Julie giggled. [' It's been a long time since I've had a chance to joke around with her.']

Momma put her hands on her waist, "No, What?" [' Just what is that girl gonna say?']
"Great minds think alike Mrs. Moore," she giggled. ['But then again, that is one of my shorts set that Kelly is wearing.']

"They do indeed," Momma giggled. [' It's nice to hear Julie laugh at this time, she can help me with Kelly.']

Then Julie sat by me, "I saw her at the game, she was very pretty and my brother Johnny loved seeing her there too. I knew that you would look great this morning Kelly. Johnny was sure smitten by you; he has it BAD for you." ['Seeing Kelly looking like that, I can see why.']

"I don't know why, Jules. Under all of this, I am still a boy," I sighed, ['But why does it please me that Johnny has the hots for me? Am I really Kelly girl at Heart?']

Then Momma placed her hand upon Julie's, "Well, she does take after me," I heard Momma as she giggled. [' It's still hard to believe that Kelly makes such a pretty girl, will he choose to transition?']

"Golly Gee. Thanks a lot Mom." I giggled. When Momma giggles, everything was alright as far as she was concerned and I couldn't help but have fun too. ['Thank you Lord! Momma loves me as Kelly girl.']

Julie hugged me close, "Johnny is in love you Kelly. You're all he talked about, since the game. He has it BAD for you girlfriend." ['Right now, that is how I see Kelly, kind of like having the best of both in one.']
Then I spluttered in my coffee and wiped up the mess, "Really? In love with me? How can he be?" ['Is Johnny gay or does he see me as a girl, HIS girl.']

Julie looked me in the eyes, "Yes really, you flirt. He wants to ask you out too. Oh Kelly, if only you were a real girl for my brother. I hate what that quack did to you! But if you can find happiness with my brother, Johnny, I'll be happy for both of you, my sister." ['Time to admit to myself that Kelly is a girl.']

"Am I a girl, in your eyes?"

"Yes, Kelly. Even when in boy mode, you look like a girl," she sighed. ['Why do I feel this way? Do I actually WANT for Kelly to become a girl and marry Johnny?']

Then visions of me being outed in public entered my mind, "He can't be serious, can he? What if others see me as a boy in a dress? This is the one and only times you, or he, will see me this way. I can't risk him being hurt because of me," I cried.

Momma handed me a hanky, "Don't you think that you should let him choose to be seen with you? He is a big, strong young ma, and you can trounce anybody with your martial arts skills, my daughter." ['All that I see is a daughter, not a son.']]

"Johnny is a gentle boy; he has never raised his hand in anger to anybody. If he is with me and I am outed, he would be hurt defending me & I can't have that." [' LORD, how can I handle this?']

Then Julie smiled, "Kelly is you still fearful of those thugs, Right?"

"Yes. They could hurt me, or Johnny."

"Well, don't be. They were caught before the game." ['Kelly needs to know that if she is to gain confidence in herself.']

"I didn't know that, but there are others out there like them," I cried as I felt the impact of the news.

* * *

I had been fearful of them ever since junior high. Pastor Avery Linden had once again gotten a sponsor on the local news radio station, and turned his attention towards any gays, lesbian, crossdressers and those in transition. He tried to organize boycotts against the gay bars and businesses that were either run by or employed any T.G. People. But only a few of his followers did it.

But most of them were not dedicated to his vision, and left, in time, leaving a small, but faithful army of extremists that he used hypno-therapy to condition into believing him. The only time that didn't work was when he did something that upset the programming, allowing for their free will to take control. He was still based in the old warehouse that was converted into apartments and stores. This was where his flock lived and worked.

It was located just outside of the Tri-County area, keeping Constable Sebastian from arresting him. And Sheriff Barns of Wade County where linden's church was, was a disciple of linden's and refused any attempt at extraditing him. If he was extradited, the constant nightmare for the Tri-County area would be over. But for some reason, linden was focusing his hatred here, Why, was a mystery that I did not know would ever be solved.

* * *

Then Momma hugged me, "Oh Kelly, you need some practice in being a girl and what better way than to get out and do something? Besides, the Halloween thugs got caught just before the game and your friends will protect you." [' I know that Kelly has those friends because he has gone to Ronzi's as a girl for them.']

"I didn't know that Julie, all this time, I was afraid that they would catch me, but now that I have to worry about are strangers seeing me as a boy in a dress," I sighed.

* * *

I was unable to say anything, I was thinking about all sorts of calamities where I was outed and Johnny was hurt because of me. I had read up on those stories about girls like me, and knew that most had a difficult time transitioning. But with Momma, and the Woods, I had the support that I needed, didn't I? And what about the Church Itself? Did I not have Pastor Patrick, and Father Downing supporting me? I know that I had Daddy's support; at least he always smiled when I visited Heaven, and Jesus SEEMED to support me, but linden still made me doubt myself.

* * *

Momma poured Julie a cup of coffee and passed her a plate with breakfast on it which Julie gladly wolfed down. "They were caught? That's good. Those cads have been a down right nuisance around here," said Momma. [' I have seen way too many results of their actions at the clinic.']
"Well, Kelly still needs to go out and see what being a girl all is about," giggled Julie. [' I have YET to go shopping with Kelly and it's about time.']

Then Momma smiled, "What do you suggest? I say shopping. I can sure use your help since you know what girls wear Julie. Together we can teach Kelly about being a girl. You and your Mother have taught her well." [' I know that with her help that I can get Kelly out of her shell and am free to be a girl.']

Then Julie volunteered, "How about going bowling? Just us three since Momma are busy getting Johnny his winter wardrobe?" ['That brother of mine has absolutely no fashion sense. he just goes for jeans or sweats.']

Momma gathered up the now empty plates and cups while I quickly gathered the silverware, "I think that's a wonderful idea! Let me get our purses and we can go. I knew that you'd help out."{'She will know what girls are wearing better than I do.']

"Mom!" [' Was I the only one sane here?']

Momma hugged me, "Kelly! It'll be just the three of us." ['I can feel her heart eating fast. she is scared.']

I saw visions of me being outed at the bowling alley, "But what if they see me as a boy in a dress?" [' Can't they see that I am right to be scared to death, or am I the only one being sensible?']

Then they both embraced me as I wept bitter tears as I thought of all the ways that I could be outed and hurt and how Mom and Julie could be hurt because of me. Then Julie told Momma why I had my shorts outfit, "Mrs. Moore, Kelly has kept a few of my shorts and tops over here to help with her nightmares."

"Oh? I thought that Kelly had stopped having those nightmares, long ago."

'I did, Momma, but that quack's chemically castration of me brought them back."

"Well, then, let's go and get you your very own shorts and tops."

"But what if I am outed?"

"Don't worry yourself silly, we will help you to look and act likes a girl, besides, you have worn that shorts outfit every time that you helped a boy to make up with his girl friend. Your friends will think nothing of it." [' Please LORD, give Kelly peace about this or he WILL out himself instead of being Kelly girl.']

"Kelly, on a date? I never would have believed it before now." ['Actually I have, but by letting Julie explain, we can help Kelly to overcome her fear.']

"Yes Ma'am, Kelly here would be a boy's SAFE DATE to help him apologize to his girlfriend. It was always at 'Ronzi's The Teen Scene Cafe' by the mall where we hang out after school and on the weekends." ['I still remember the first time that Kelly went, I still can't believe that Mrs. Moore's child is so good at healing broken hearts.']

"Thanks Julie, Kelly, why are you so scared to go out then?" [She needs to give voice to her fears.]

Then I looked at Momma with tears in my eyes, "Momma. What if my friends see through my charade and what about strangers?" ['I'd die if they were hurt because of me.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "Kelly, your friends accept you as a part time girl, as for strangers, we can help." [Oh Kelly, you are almost there my rose, soon you will truly blossom if you do not falter.]

* * *

Julie smiled at me; I was both eager and scared at the same time. Would I be outed? They were both very careful to coach me in how to be a woman until I was comfortable around them. It was getting near lunch time and we had stopped to fix something to eat. I had fun with them as we ate sandwiches and soda for lunch. We had so much fun that I was able to relax and be a girl around them.

We saw Mister Woods head out in his new delivery van. He had started Woods Delivery Service which delivered for free any item bought over the phone, or internet by local customers. It was a special service provided for those unable to make it to the stores. When he first started it, he was inundated with calls and had to hurry up and purchase a fleet of vans and hire drivers to meet the needs. As it is, the Woods Garage has expanded to include a Delivery Van Maintenance Center to help keep them in repair.

"Well, hello, Ladies. What brings such lovely angels out on this beautiful morning?" ['Terri still looks a good today as she did when she married Stu. If I wasn't married to my lovely wife Andrea, I'd marry her. I know that our kids would accept us, and I know that Stu, and Anne would accept it, too.']

"Chuck, you big old flirt! Are you trying to chat me and Kelly up?" ['Of all the men that I know, only he is as close to me as Stu was. But he is my best friend, like Andrea. I'll NEVER betray that friendship.']

"And why not! Andrea knows that all that I'd do is treating you two to a free meal, right Kelly?"

"Right you are Mister Woods."

"OK, Daddy. You've flirted with them for fun, where's Momma and Johnny?"

"They're going to go get him his winter wardrobe. He's already out grown last years," he chuckled.

"I told them that, Daddy! You mean that they've yet to leave?"

He cleared his throat, 'Well, we have been discussing Kelly, here."

"Oh? What about me?"

He hugged me, "We accept you as the girl that you are."

"All three of you?"

"Yes, Kelly, ALL of us. Right, Julie?"

"You betcha Daddy! Kelly is MY sister!"

I hugged her, "Thanks, Julie. I sure can use a sister, and a Best Friend."

"Well, kiddo, you have them BOTH, in me." ['It's time for me to give up on Kelly ever being a boy, now. Last night, was the end of him. But I will always cherish him as my first Boyfriend.']

"Well, Ladies, time for me to go," he sighed.

We all gave him a kiss and hug, as well as a sausage and an egg biscuit to go with a cup of coffee. One of his treats was to have one of us to make a meal, except for Johnny. All that he ever did good cooking was grilling, he burned anything, else.

* * *

"Kelly, you look and act just like Julie now," Momma observed. [' Kelly now acts like Julie. At first, it was a rough copy.']

I blushed, "Thanks Mom, I was trying to copy her. I hope that I was doing it right." [' Could I actually be a natural girl after all?']

Then Julie patted my arm, "Well girlfriend, you have me down pat. Nobody will see you as a boy now," she giggled. [' Heck, even before, Kelly was the Real Deal, just needed a confidence boost.']

"Well, not unless they, uh, take a good close look," I giggled as I pointed to my crotch. ['Guess I AM a natural girl after all, or as Julie would say: the Real Deal.']

"That is why you're wearing a shorts outfit is good for you." said Julie. [' Too bad she doesn't have any of my skirts, skorts, or sundresses.']

"But what about my boy bits?" Am I really THAT vain about what little I have?" [' Even IF I can't sire any children, I still want to think that I am large enough if I marry Julie.']

"With you wearing that padded brief and pantyhose, you are safe," smirked Momma. ['Good! Looks like my child has overcome her fear.']

Then I got up and bowed to Momma, "Oh?' And why that is Oh Great and All Knowing One," I giggled. ['Sorry my LORD, but I can't resist this prank. It's been too long since I had a good laugh.']

"No bulge," they both dead panned back at me.

* * *

After we had us such a good belly laugh that we went to go wee. Then we headed to the bowling alley. I had fun and forgot about being a boy. I was Kelly girl at last and free of my fear. Several of my school friends came by and thought that I was helping some one. They thought it was cool that I was doing this for Momma. At noon we stopped for a soda and a pizza.

There we were, three girls having fun being girls. I saw many guys wanting to chat us up, but were confused when the saw my twin, Momma. But when Granny showed up, it caused quite a scene as the guys were treated to triplets. We were all wearing shorts, tops, and hose, causing them to think that I was pranking them, which I wasn't. But I have to admit that it would be a great prank.

* * *

What I didn't know, was that at the same time, Johnny and Mister Woods were observing us from the rooftop patio. They had seen what happened between us and were talking about last night.

"Well Jonathan, How did you like seeing Kelly as a cheerleader last night?" ['Even now, all that I see is a young lady, NOT a young man.']

Johnny blushed as he remembered last night, "It as GREAT! I thought that Kelly looked dynamite!" [' And still does in that shorts outfit. I wish that Kelly really was a girl.']

"Weren't you worried about those bashers hurting Kelly if they saw her?" [' I am glad that they were caught, but at the time, Johnny didn't know that.']

"Very much so dad. In fact, I brought that up to Kelly last night after the game, he sighed. ['Why do I ove her so much when Kelly is still a boy?']

"And what did she say?"

"That ever since she was Tinkerbell that she knew that she was a girl and that she needed my help." [' But what do I do about those bashers on the team? If I continue to see Kelly, they'll make things rough for me.']

Then he hugged Johnny, "My son, ever since that doctor hurt Kelly, he has changed. Kelly used to be all for marrying your sister Julie, but your mother and I have seen how he has become Kelly girl and has set her sights on you," he sighed. [' LORD, why have you placed such a burden upon Kelly's shoulders? Will my Godchild succeed or falter under your burden? Please LORD, be with Kelly.']

Johnny blushed, "Dad, I don't deserve Kelly's love. I mean, I love Kelly whether as a boy or a girl, but what does Kelly want to be?" ['Dear LORD, I am so confused about my feelings about Kelly, and the team with their attitude thanks to their listening to that defrocked preacher is making it hard on me.']

"And what about last night? From what I understand from what you and Julie talked about last night, Kelly was all girl last night for you." [' It's up to my son to decide if he sees Kelly as a boy or a girl when Kelly is in girl mode and if my on sees himself as gay or not.']

Johnny pulled away from his dad, "What did you and Momma hear?"

Then Mrs. Woods enters, "We know that Kelly gave you oral sex last night. We were up here cuddling at the time and saw what happened." ['It was a surprise to see that scamp take charge, but then again, Kelly has always been one to take charge.']

"Don't worry son, like Terri, we won't punish you, but you DO need to control your passion or both of you can get hurt." [' LORD, I never thought that I'd be having this talk with Johnny about Kelly, I thought that it'd be with Julie.']

"Thanks guys, I needed to know that I have your support."

"Come with me Johnny, Time to get you your winter clothes for the year."
"Go on son, when you get back, we will take your old stuff to the Church."
"Cool dad, I wonder when I'll stop growing?"
"Probably not until you get to your dad's size. You take after your dad in height."

"OK Mom, hopefully I can get a pair of hiking boots for the cabin, too,"
Then they went to the store while Mister Woods headed out to the van while they stayed up there to watch us and ponder the future.

* * *

I did not know it at the time, but back at the Rest Area Chapel, Father Downing, and Sister Mary were meeting with Pastor Patrick. They were both leaders in the Religious Community, and had collaborated upon many community projects involving area churches. Father Downing was in charge of the Seniors Outreach Committee which oversaw the churches ministry to the seniors and shut INS within the church, often bringing insight into the plight of their needs, and bestowing his gentle wisdom to his charges.

Pastor Patrick oversaw the churches ministry to the families of the churches, and the Family Outreach Committee. Working with area churches, he organized Community Gardens , Community Recycling, and Community Theater when there were not enough volunteers in any one church to handle a need. But for all of his community, he still kept his flock as his priority.

Working together, they were able to meet the needs of the flocks, But, at times, Pastor Patrick needed help in ministering to some, relying upon Father Downing for stories of what he had done in his Ministry when Pat was at a loss on how to minister to a member in need.

"Frank, why have you invited me here?" ['Normally, he waits until the monthly meeting. Something must be happening that needs quick action, but what?']

Frank looked up from where he had been praying, with tears in his eyes, "It's about Kelly, old friend," he sighed. ['I've been keeping a watch over that child, but this I need comforting on.']

"Are you talking about Kelly Lee More?"

"Yes, I am," he sighed.

Pat sunk into the chair opposite of Father Downing, "Do you know what happened to Kelly, years ago?"

"I heard that he had begun dressing as a girl, at times. What amazes me is that Linden 's church has yet to confront him about it."

Sister Mary placed a tray of tea and cookies on the desk, "Hello Pat, Please, have some of my sassafras tea and peanut butter oatmeal cookies. I have a batch of both for you to take home." ['Poor man, his wife, Joan can't seem to make any proper tea. More's the pity since Pat loves sassafras.']

Pat brightened up, "Thanks, Mary. I am sure that you and Joan have a lot to talk about, just like we do." ['Can they accept what we about to tell them?']

She kissed him on the forehead, "Anytime, Pat. You are as children to us."

As she left, Frank sighed, "What more, if anything do you know about Kelly?"

"First of all, do you still love Kelly?"

"Of course I do! I am simply worried about him being outed to Linden ."

"I notice that you do not honor him with a Title."

"And I wont! When he was disbarred, he lost all rights to be a pastor!"

"True, but what do you know of Kelly's dressing as a girl?"

"Just that he does it and goes to Ronzi's with a few boys, why?"

"He started doing that to help out other students."

"Oh? THAT'S being the Kelly that I know. But did he do it to ever have a boyfriend?"

"Not at all! Kelly loves Julie Woods as a boy, Johnny Woods as a girl."

"Yes, Terri called and told us about that. I find it hard to believe, myself," he sighed.

"Frank, do you and Mary support Kelly, or Linden ?"

"We support Kelly! I may not understand about his need to be a girl, but the Lord NEVER condemned one for wanting to be of the opposite gender, neither shall we."

"Do you know why Kelly wants to be a girl?"

"No, I don't know. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Well, SPILL IT MAN!"

"OK< guess that I've let this situation get the best of me. It started back when the school instituted a health program for the students."

OK, I remember that, and the hushed up controversy over the doctor hurting a student."

"That student was Kelly," Pastor Pat sighed.

"How?"

"He gave Kelly hormones and blocker's without telling anybody, chemically castrating him, starting Kelly on a female puberty."

"DAMN THAT MAN!"

"He died in prison."

"But left Kelly to deal with his SIN. Don't worry! We've always thought of Kelly as our child, NOW we have an adopted daughter."

* * *

"Kelly?" [My son has certainly blossomed into a young woman before my eyes. There is no hint of a boy about him. But he still needs to replace those birdseed bags with better equipment if he is to be a better girl in the future. We had fun bowling today, now to see how my new daughter feels after being out for the first time with me.]

"Yes Mom?" I giggled. ['I had fun bowling. Those boys sure did like my hosed legs. I am sure that Julie and I cause a few gutter balls as we bowled and momma caught the eyes of a few older players too.']

How do you feel now?"[Kelly is as different as a girl. As a boy, Kelly is sweet & considerate; quick to help out others, as a girl, Kelly shows more confidence in herself.]

"I'm still nervous about being outed, but so far, nobody has bothered me." I giggled." Being a girl was not all that bad, I sighed. ['Now that I've admitted it, I feel free of my doubts.']

"You just need some more practice."[Now for the Coup De Grace.]

"Doing what Momma?" I giggled, [Why was I giggling so much? I like the giggling.]

"Going to the mall." [Such a giggle box, but will she giggle after this?]

"Why?" I giggled ['Don't I have enough clothes? Oh yeah! Momma did say something about getting me a wardrobe.']

"We need to get you a wardrobe. Kelly, you've found your stride now. That giggling will brighten anybody's day." ['LORD, Kelly as blossomed as a girl just now, is this to be my child's future? Or will Kelly become a cross-dresser?']

Then Julie placed hr hand on mine, "Kelly?" she giggled. ['Now to see if she has the shopping gene that we girls all seem to have.']

"Yes Julie?" I giggled because her hand was tickling me. [' I wonder just what she has in mind, surely not a prank.]

"We girls make shopping our national past time, it's time for you to use your Shopping Gene." [Giggle]

"Are you sure that I have one?" [Giggle]

"Time to find out." [Giggle]

It took all day to get what I needed. I had more lingerie and clothes now as well as makeup. While there, I was treated to the works at the beauty salon. We dropped Julie off at her place, and then went home. I was in my room hanging things up and putting things in the dresser when Momma walked in.

"I'm not going to push you into anything, when you feel the need to dress up, do it, and do your very best."[I had fun today, but Kelly still needs to grow into her womanhood.]

"OK Momma, but why are you doing this?"

"Because you need it. Why you do feel you have to do this I don't know. What I do know is that males that dress as girls and women never quit. Some do it in secret away from their family. Some never have peace; they do things in despair to their bodies to be a woman."

"Is there something that you need to be telling me?"

[God, she is insightful, I can never tell a lie around her.] "Come down stairs and we will talk over a soda."

Momma led me into the kitchen where I got us both a bottle of diet soda and set them upon the coasters.

"I see that as a girl that you are tidier." [Giggle]

"I am developing my girl self Momma so that I won't be outed."[Giggle]

"I can tell my daughter."

"Did you know a boy like me momma?"

"Yes."

"Want to tell me about him?"

"Brian was my best friend. We grew up together and when his parents died in a car wreck, my parents adopted him. When they saw his dresses, they thought that they were mine. When they learned they were his, they accepted him. After that, Brian became his girl self 'Debbie', but only upon the weekends." [Sniff]

"Was Brian my Aunt Debbie?"

"Yes."

"How old was he?"

"He was the same age as you were when you went as Tinkerbell when he became my brother. We became very close and Brian grew into tall and strong young man. In his senior year, he dressed as the She Hulk for Halloween. Everything went well until some jocks from another school cornered him and attacked him." [Sniff]

"What happened?" Was it as bad as I think it could be?"

"They beat him up and raped him. Brian suffered from a severe concussion and they castrated him when they kicked him in the groin. Oh Kelly, I pray that that does not happen to you."

"Were those boys punished?"[It was, much worse than I ever thought about. How lucky I am that that has not happened to me.]

"Yes, your Grandfather forced the courts to try them as adults. They were sentenced to life in prison without parole." [Sniff]

"I am glad to hear that, too bad that Brian was lost though."

"He transitioned into Debbie. She now runs a special store that sells appliances that people need to pass as the other gender. Kelly, you are showing just how loving you are."

"Huh?"

"Breast forms and gaffes so men can be women and padding to help hide a woman's breasts. I'm telling you about the store because you will need it all too soon."

"But why does she do that?"

"To help others like her to be complete as possible. Some men just want to be a woman every now and then while others want to live as a woman. And some women want to be men."

"Thanks Momma for telling me about Debbie and about the shop. I think it's great that people can look like who they want to be. Too bad she is so afraid. [Sigh]

"She is shy and afraid of rejection."

"Is she is afraid of me?"

"Yes, afraid of what you would do if you knew her secret and afraid to see you now because you are so much like she when she was hurt that she might remember her attack."

"Oh Momma, I love Aunt Debbie, we have so much fun when ever I see her. I would never hurt her. How can I let her know?"

"I will call and let her know tomorrow. Now since we have a big day tomorrow and we finished our soda, let's go to bed." 

Synopsis: Now that Kelly's mother has started to get involved in her child's life, Kelly becomes scared at the prospect of actually being out in public where strangers may discover her secret and out her in public or some bigot harming her or her family. It is only with the help of Kelly's best friend Julie that Teri Moore is able to take Kelly on what has become the national sport for all women: SHOPPING.

*****************************

Then I saw Julie show up. She was smiling as she approached us and wearing a shorts set and pantyhose. I couldn't help but to notice how graceful she was and that the hose gave her legs a sheen as the morning light played on her legs.

[Shopping? Why would I want to go shopping? Momma had always bought my clothes. But then again, Julie loved to go shopping and we had fun unpacking her bags and hanging stuff up.]

Then Julie waved to us, "Hi! I see that Kelly is dressing as a girl. It looks like she loves pantyhose as much as I do. Here I am wearing a pink shorts outfit and hose and she almost matches me." [' I guess that Mrs. Moore finally saw Kelly in girl mode.']

"Yes Julie, I want for Kelly to feel safe enough to be herself. You two seem to know what the other is going to wear," momma said as she glanced at both of us. [Then again, they grew up together.']

"Well, you know what they say?" Julie giggled. [' It's been a long time since I've had a chance to joke around with her.']

Momma put her hands on her waist, "No, What?" [' Just what is that girl gonna say?']

"Great minds think alike Mrs. Moore," she giggled. ['But then again, that is one of my shorts set that Kelly is wearing.']

"They do indeed, momma giggled. [' It's nice to hear Julie laugh at this time, she can help me with Kelly.']

Then Julie sat by me, "I saw her at the game, she was very pretty and my brother Johnny loved seeing her there too. I knew that you would look great this morning Kelly. Johnny was sure smitten by you. He has it BAD for you." ['Seeing Kelly looking like that, I can see why.']

Then momma placed her hand upon Julie's, "Well, she does take after me," I heard Momma as she giggled. [' It's still hard to believe that Kelly makes such a pretty girl, will he choose to transition?']

"Golly Gee. Thanks a lot Mom. "I giggled. When momma giggled, everything was alright as far as she was concerned and I couldn't help but have fun too.

Julie hugged me close, "Johnny is in love you Kelly. You're all he talked about, since the game. He has it BAD for you girlfriend." ['Right now, that is how I see Kelly, kind of like having the best of both in one.']

Then I spluttered in my coffee and wiped up the mess, "Really? He's in love with me? How can he be?" [' Is Johnny gay or does he see me as a girl, HIS girl.']

Julie looked me in the eyes, "Yes really, you flirt. He wants to ask you out too. Oh Kelly, if only you were a real girl for my brother." ['Why do I feel this way? Do I actually WANT for Kelly to become a girl and marry Johnny?']

Then visions of me being outed in public entered my mind, "He can't be serious, can he? What if others see me as a boy in a dress? This is the one and only time you, or he, will see me this way. I can't risk him being hurt because of me," I cried. "Johnny is a gentle boy. He has never raised his hand in anger to anybody. If he is with me and I am outed, he would be hurt defending me & I can't have that." [' LORD, how can I handle this?']

Then Julie smiled, "Kelly are you still fearful of those thugs. Well, don't be. They were caught before the game." [' Kelly needs to know that if she is to gain confidence in herself.'],

"I didn't know that, but there are others out there like them," I cried as I felt the impact of the news. I had been fearful of them ever since junior high.

Then momma hugged me, "Oh Kelly, you need some practice in being a girl and what better way than to get out and do something? Besides, the Halloween thugs got caught just before the game, and your friends will protect you." [' I know that Kelly has those friends because he has gone to Ronzi's as a girl for them.']

"I didn't know that Julie, all this time, I was afraid that they would catch me, but now that I have to worry about are strangers seeing me as a boy in a dress," I sighed.

I was unable to say anything, I was thinking about all sorts of calamities where I was outed and Johnny was hurt because of me.

Momma poured Julie a cup of coffee and passed her a plate with breakfast on it which Julie gladly wolfed down. "They were caught? That's good. Those cads have been a down right nuisance around here," said Momma. [' I have seen way too many results of their actions at the clinic.']

"Well, Kelly still needs to go out and see what being a girl is all about," giggled Julie. [' I have YET to go shopping with Kelly and it's about time.']

Then momma smiled, "What do you suggest? I say shopping. I can sure use your help since you know what girls wear Julie. Together we can teach Kelly about being a girl. You and your Mother have taught her well." [' I know that with her help that I can get Kelly out of her shell and free to be a girl.']

Then Julie volunteered, "How about going bowling? Just us three since my Momma is busy getting Johnny his winter wardrobe?" ['That brother of mine has absolutely no fashion sense. he just goes for jeans or sweats.']

Momma gathered up the now empty plates and cups while I quickly gathered the silverware, "I think that's a wonderful idea! Let me get our purses and we can go. I knew that you'd help out."

"Mom!" [' Was I the only one sane here?']

Momma hugged me, "Kelly! It'll be just the three of us." ['I can feel her heart eating fast. she is scared.']

I saw visions of me being outed at the bowling alley, "But what if they see me as a boy in a dress?" [' Can't they see that I am right to be scared to death, or am I the only one being sensible?']

Then they both embraced me as I wept bitter tears as I thought of all the ways that I could be outed and hurt and how Mom and Julie could be hurt because of me. Then Julie told Momma why I had my shorts outfit. "Don't worry yourself silly, we will help you to look and act like a girl, besides, you have worn that shorts outfit every time that you helped a boy to make up with his girl friend. Your friends will think nothing of it." [' Please LORD, give Kelly peace about this or he WILL out himself instead of being Kelly girl.']

"Kelly, on a date? I never would have believed it before now." ['Actually I have, but by letting Julie explain, we can help Kelly to overcome her fear.']

"Yes Ma'am, Kelly here would be a boy's SAFE DATE to help him apologize to his girlfriend. It was always at Ronzi's The Teen Scene Cafe by the mall where we hang out after school and on the weekends." ['I still remember the first time that Kelly went, I still can't believe that Mrs. Moore's child is so good at healing broken hearts.']

"Thanks Julie, Kelly, why are you so scared to go out then?" [She needs to give voice to her fears.]

Then I looked at momma with tears in my eyes, "Momma. What if my friends see through my charade, and what about strangers?" ['I'd die if they were hurt because of me.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "Kelly, your friends accept you as a part time girl, as for strangers, we can help." [Oh Kelly, you are almost there my rose, soon you will truly blossom if you do not falter.]

Julie smiled at me. I was both eager and scared at the same time. Would I be outed? They were careful to coach me in how to be a woman until I was comfortable around them. It was getting near lunch time and we had stopped to fix something to eat. I had fun with them as we ate sandwiches and soda for lunch. We had so much fun that I was able to relax and be a girl around them.

"Kelly, you look and act just like Julie now," momma observed. [' Kelly now acts like Julie. At first, it was a rough copy.']

I blushed, "Thanks Mom, I was trying to copy her. I hope that I was doing it right." [' Could I actually be a natural girl after all?']

Then Julie patted my arm, "Well girlfriend, you have me down pat. Nobody will see you as a boy now," she giggled. [' Heck, even before, Kelly was the Real Deal, just needed a confidence boost.']

"Well, not unless they, uh, take a good close look," I giggled as I pointed to my crotch. ['Guess I AM a natural girl after all, or as Julie would say: the Real Deal.']

"That is why you are wearing a shorts outfit is good for you." said Julie. [' Too bad she doesn't have any of my skirts, skorts, or sundresses.']

"But what about my boy bits?" Am I really THAT vain about what little I have?" [' Even IF I can't sire any children, I still want to think that I am large enough, if I marry Julie.']

"With you wearing that padded brief and pantyhose, you are safe," smirked Momma. ['Good! looks like my child has overcome her fear.']

Then I got up and bowed to momma, "Oh?' And why is that, Oh Great And All Knowing One," I giggled. ['Sorry my LORD, but I can't resist this prank. It's been too long since I had a good laugh.']

"No bulge," they both dead panned back at me.

After we had us such a good belly laugh that we went to go wee. Then we headed to the bowling alley. I had fun and forgot about being a boy. I was Kelly girl at last and free of my fear. Several of my school friends came by and thought that I was helping some one. They thought it was cool that I was doing this for my Momma. At noon we stopped for a soda and a pizza.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I didn't know, was that at the same time, Johnny and Mister Woods were observing us from the rooftop patio. They had seen what happened between us and were talking about last night.

"Well Jonathan, How did you like seeing Kelly as a cheerleader last night?" ['Even now, all that I see is a young lady, NOT a young man.']

Johnny blushed as he remembered last night, "It as GREAT! I thought that Kelly looked dynamite!" [' And still does in that shorts outfit. I wish that Kelly really was a girl.']

"Weren't you worried about those bashers hurting Kelly if they saw her?" [' I am glad that they were caught, but at the time, Johnny didn't know that.']

"Very much so dad, in fact, I brought that up to Kelly last night after the game, he sighed. ['Why do I love her so much when Kelly is still a boy?']

"And what did she say?"

"That ever since she was Tinkerbell that she knew that she was a girl and that she needed my help." [' But what do I do about those bashers on the team? If I continue to see Kelly, they'll make things rough for me.']

Then he hugged Johnny, "My son, ever since that doctor hurt Kelly, he has changed. Kelly used to be all for marrying your sister Julie, but your mother and I have seen how he has become Kelly girl and has set her sights on you," he sighed. [' LORD why have you placed such a burden upon Kelly's shoulders? Will my Godchild succeed or falter under your burden? Please LORD, be with Kelly.']

Johnny blushed, "Dad, I don't deserve Kelly's love. I mean, I love Kelly whether as a boy or a girl, but what does Kelly want to be?" ['Dear LORD, I am so confused about my feelings about Kelly, and the team with their attitude thanks to their listening to that defrocked preacher is making it hard on me.']

"And what about last night? From what I understand about what you and Julie talked about last night, Kelly was all girl last night for you." [' It's up to my son to decide if he sees Kelly as a boy or a girl when Kelly is in girl mode and if my on sees himself as gay or not.']

Johnny pulled away from his dad, "What did you and momma hear?"

Then Mrs. Woods enters, "We know that Kelly gave you oral sex last night. We were up here cuddling at the time and saw what happened." ['It was a surprise to see that scamp take charge, but then again, Kelly has always been one to take charge.']

"Don't worry son, like Terri, we won't punish you, but you DO need to control your passion or both of you can get hurt." [' LORD, I never thought that I'd be having this talk with Johnny about Kelly, I thought that it'd be with Julie.']

"Thanks guys, I needed to know that I have your support."

"Come with me Johnny, Time to get you your winter clothes for the year."

"Go on son, when you get back, we will take your old stuff to the Church."

"Cool dad, I wonder when I'll stop growing?"

"Probably not until you get to your dad's size. You take after your dad in height."

"OK mom, hopefully I can get a pair of hiking boots for the cabin too,"

Then they went to the store while mister woods stayed up there to watch us and ponder the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kelly?" [My son has certainly blossomed into a young woman before my eyes. There is no hint of a boy about him. But he still needs to replace those birdseed bags with better equipment if he is to be a better girl in the future. We had fun bowling today, now to see how my new daughter feels after being out for the first time with me.]

"Yes Mom?" I giggled. ['I had fun bowling. Those boys sure did like my hosed legs. I am sure that Julie and I caused a few gutter balls as we bowled and momma caught the eyes of a few older players too.']

How do you feel now?"[Kelly is so different as a girl. As a boy, Kelly is sweet & considerate, quick to help out others, as a girl, Kelly shows more confidence in herself.]

"I'm still nervous about being outed, but so far, nobody has bothered me." I giggled. "Being a girl was not all that bad, I sighed. ['Now that I've admitted it, I feel free of my doubts.']

"You just need some more practice."[Now for the Coup De Grace.]

"Doing what Momma?" I giggled,[Why was I giggling so much? I like the giggling.]

"Going to the mall." [Such a giggle box, but will she giggle after this?]

"Why?" I giggled ['Don't I have enough clothes? Oh yeah! Momma did say something about getting me a wardrobe.']

"We need to get you a wardrobe. Kelly, you've found your stride now. That giggling will brighten anybody's day." ['LORD, Kelly as blossomed as a girl just now, is this to be my child's future? Or will Kelly become a cross-dresser?']

Then Julie placed her hand on mine, "Kelly?" she giggled. ['Now to see if she has the shopping gene that we girls all seem to have.']

"Yes Julie?" I giggled because her hand was tickling me. [' I wonder just what she has in mind, surely not a prank.]

"We girls make shopping our national past time, it's time for you to use your Shopping Gene." [giggle]

"Are you sure that I have one?" [giggle]

"It's time to find out." [giggle]

It took all day to get what I needed. I had more lingerie and clothes now as well as makeup. While there, I was treated to the works at the beauty salon. We dropped Julie off at her place, and then went home. I was in my room hanging things up and putting things in the dresser when Momma walked in.

"I'm not going to push you into anything, when you feel the need to dress up, do it, and do your very best."[I had fun today, but Kelly still needs to grow into her womanhood.]

"OK momma, but why are you doing this?"

"Because you need it. Why you do feel you have to do this I don't know. What I do know is that males that dress as girls and women never quit. Some do it in secret away from their family. Some never have peace. They do things in despair to their bodies to be a woman"

"Is there something that you need to be telling me?"

[God, she is insightful, I can never tell a lie around her.] "Come down stairs and we will talk over a soda."

Momma led me into the kitchen where I got us both a bottle of diet soda and set them upon the coasters.

"I see that as a girl that you are tidier." [giggle]

"I am developing my girl self Momma so that I won't be outed."[giggle]

"I can tell my daughter."

"Did you know a boy like me momma?"

"Yes."

"Want to tell me about him?"

"Brian was my best friend. We grew up together and when his parents died in a car wreck, my parents adopted him. When they saw his dresses, they thought that they were mine. When they learned they were his, they accepted him. After that, Brian became his girl self 'Debbie' , but only upon the weekends." [sniff]

"Was Brian my Aunt Debbie?"

"Yes."

"How old was he?"

"He was the same age as you were when you went as Tinkerbell when he became my brother. We became very close and Brian grew into tall and strong young man. In his senior year, he dressed as the She Hulk for Halloween. Everything went well until some jocks from another school cornered him and attacked him." [sniff]

"What happened?" Was it as bad as I think it could be?"

"They beat him up and raped him. Brian suffered from a severe concussion and they castrated him when they kicked him in the groin. Oh Kelly, I pray that that does not happen to you."

"Were those boys punished?"[It was, much worse than I ever thought about. How lucky I am that that has not happened to me.]

"Yes, your Grandfather forced the courts to try them as adults. They were sentenced to life in prison without parole." [sniff]

"I am glad to hear that, Too bad that Brian was lost though."

"He transitioned into Debbie. She now runs a special store that sells appliances that people need to pass as the other gender. Kelly, you are showing just how loving you are."

"Huh?"

"She sells breast forms and gaffes so men can be women and padding to help hide a woman's breasts. I'm telling you about the store because you will need it all too soon."

"But why does she do that?"

"To help others like her to be as complete as possible. Some men just want to be a woman every now and then while others want to live as a woman. And some women want to be men."

"Thanks Momma for telling me about Debbie and about the shop. I think it's great that people can look like who they want to be. Too bad she is so afraid. [sigh]

"She is shy and afraid of rejection."

"Is she is afraid of me?"

"Yes, afraid of what you would do if you knew her secret and afraid to see you now because you are so much like her when she was hurt that she might remember her attack."

"Oh Momma, I love Aunt Debbie, we have so much fun when ever I see her. I would never hurt her. How can I let her know?"

"I will call and let her know tomorrow. Now since we have a big day tomorrow and we finished our soda, let's go to bed.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 10-Exodus By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Kelly and her mother attend a dinner party at the Woods where Johnny shows definite sexual interest in Kelly. After a tiff where Johnny and Kelly a dinner party at the Woods, Kelly and her boyfriend once again sate their passion. Afterwards, Kelly becomes confused about who she really is and her inability to resist loving Johnny, causing her to make a choice that changes everybody's lives.

---

* * *

The next morning, Mom and I were dressed in a red dress, white hose and sandals. I drove us to the restaurant for breakfast. We were seated, and then I saw the Woods at another table with the County Commissioner and her family. County Commissioner Anita Barbara Russell was a true Southern Belle and a shrewd politician, too. She combined her Southern accent and drop dead gorgeous good looks into getting her way in the council meetings. I felt that we were lucky to have her.

Our meal was served and we ate in silence, almost finishing when they stopped at our table on their way out. Mister Woods looked a bit comical in his western outfit, "Morning y'all. We're having a barbecue later at our house; we'd like y'all to come. God, I look hokey in this getup, but Anita loves western style food and asked us to dress authentically today," he laughed as he held out his hands. ['Lord, Thank You for Anita. Without her help with the Tri-County Council, my business empire could never have grown as it has.']

"Thanks Chuck. We'd be delighted to come right Kelly?" [' County Commissioner Russell is infamous for her love of all things western, but I love her anyway.']

"Sure Mom. Mister Woods here makes the best barbecue in the world in his smoke pit even if he looks hokey in that getup," I giggled. ['The entire clan was in western theme clothing; Julie looked really cute in her Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader costume.']

Mister Woods patted me on the shoulder, "Thanks Kelly, you look very pretty; it's no wonder that Johnny likes you." [' So like Terri that only Terri's wedding ring gives her away.']

"Thanks Mister Woods," I blushed. [' I wonder, does he know that I fancy his son something rotten?']

"Kelly and I will bring over potato salad after we clean the house," Momma offered. ['Time for Kelly to learn some of the more mundane things about keeping a house up if she is to be a real housewife for Johnny.']

"What? What is she going on about? I was going to pal around with Julie after Church and work on my tan." [' Why did Momma do this?']

Momma patted my hand, "We need to switch over to the winter drapes honey. We need time to just be girls and alone, this will give us that chance, Besides, I have all those quilts to wash that we use as curtains and I want to put up fresh ones after Church." [' It will be hot and dusty, but Kelly will enjoy it once we get started what with my child's competitive spirit and all around good humor.']

Then I slapped my forehead, "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. We usually make a sport of it, to bad that Daddy ain't here, he's good at reaching the top of the window," I sighed. ['It's been so long since I thought about you, Daddy, please forgive me.']

Momma hugged me close, "Oh Kelly, I still miss Stu too after all these years. I'll NEVER find another one like your daddy," she wept. ['Lord, will I ever meet another like my Stu? Or am I to stay single? ']

Then we spent a few minutes remembering Daddy and how much we still love him. Then as Momma and I were getting up, Mister Woods took the check from the table, left a generous tip, and headed for the cashier. It was his custom to pay for any meal that he and his family ate in any of his restaurants. He refused to compromise the establishment's integrity by having them play favorites. He and his family were treated like any other customer.

"Hey! What are you doing Charlie? I can pay for our meal."

Mister Woods smiled, "Simply taking care of breakfast for you two, Terri. Now y'all get on to Church, we'll be along after we change for Church."

Momma pecked Mister Woods on the cheek, "Thanks Charlie."

Then Momma and I waited as the Woods changed in the restaurant's bathroom. When they came out, the guys were wearing suits and the girls wore matching blue skirt suits. We followed them to Church where Johnny was the Crucifer while Julie and I were Acolytes. It was a Methodist Church after all.

* * *

Oh, I guess that I need to tell you about my Church, our pastor, Patrick West is a former Catholic Priest who accepted the position of Pastor at Tri-County First Methodist Church. He was a young Priest, fresh out of Seminary, but there were no openings in the Catholic Church around here, so since he was led to pastor a Church here, he accepted the position here at Trinity. While he was here, he met Joanne White, a Seminary student working in the church. They fell in Love, and were soon married. Together, they rebuilt the church into a vibrant House of Worship.

As for Acolytes and Crucifer: the Acolytes, carry a special torch to light the candles while the Crucifer carries the Cross and places it in a stand up front. Then after the sermon, the Acolytes use the bell-shaped bowl on the torch to snuff out the candle while the Crucifer carries the Cross back to the back. We three have been doing this ever since we were old enough and always enjoyed our part of the Service.

But on special occasions, we also have Flag Bearers who will carry the American Flag and those of the military on Patriotic Holidays like Independence Day. Those services are when the patriotic songs are played, and instead of Scripture, we have a patriotic special. Where as, on Church Holidays, the special is related to the holiday. Out Music and Drama Department always have something ready. They have done A Christmas Carol, and plays based on the Rankin Bass holiday specials.

* * *

Then after Church, we went home where we cleaned the entire house. Momma and I pulled the curtains and drapes and put up fresh ones. We also shampooed the carpets with the help of Johnny and his strong back; we moved the furniture and operated the shampooer which he got a kick out of. We thanked him by keeping him supplied with lots of ice water that he glugged down, or poured on his head to cool off with. He was not a big fan of those sports drinks, since his mother made fresh squeezed fruit juices, But he did like 'V-8' and other all natural juices.

I got hot and sweaty and was all too ready to clean up for the barbecue. After I showered I donned my robe and went to my room and put on the padded bra and panty brief, then my hose. I looked pretty good as is. Johnny had already left.

Momma knocked on my bedroom door, "Kelly?"[This is a first, seeing if my daughter is decent. What a first, wonder what others there are in store for me?']

I looked up from where I was applying makeup, "Yes Momma?" [' I wonder what momma wants. Have we forgotten anything?']

"Are you decent?"[Is she tucking away her boy bits? Damn! I don't need to think about things like that.']

Then I got up and opened the door and curtsied to Momma, "Why yes, Momma, come in please."

Momma looked me over and smiled, "My Kelly, you look just like a teen girl getting ready for a party." ['Just like I did when dating you Stu, I am glad that I can think of you without tearing up my love.']

I closed the door behind her as she entered, Then I went over to my small wardrobe of girls clothes and held the closet door open, "Thanks Momma."Wotcha wanna wear a skirt, or shorts." ['Why am I acting like a model now?']

Momma pulled out a some red shorts and a blue sleeveless top, "Shorts." [' We still need to get Kelly some winter clothes.']

As I slipped the shorts and top on over my padded bra and panty brief and hose, Mom sat on the bed, "Kelly, please promise me that you'll talk to me before you do anything stupid. Like oral sex with Johnny." ['I still can't believe that my son is so much a girl. LORD, please give me the Wisdom that I need.']

I hugged Momma, "Momma, I'm going and I'll be myself. And no, don't worry, I won't do anything stupid." ['Well at least I will try, but I still want to hump Johnny. Please LORD, give me the strength to resist, or if I succumb, a way to deal with my passion.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "You did when you were with Johnny the last time, and you know it." ['I hate to remind her of her shortcomings, but she needs to be strong and resist her passions.']

Then I smiled and hugged her, "OK, Momma, I promise you, I will be careful."

* * *

Then she led me to her room where she put my hair into a ponytail. She changed into her shorts and top after she did her makeup. We made a dish of potato salad and walked to the Woods Manor House. Johnny saw us, and then came out, a smile on his face. Mom made the introductions, I nodded my head at Julie and she grabbed Johnny's elbow. The three of us walked to the pool, and I faced Johnny.

"Johnny, when I came up with Momma, you looked at me like I was a piece of raw meat. Did you like what you see?"[Was I in danger from my best friend now?]

He stared at me. I stood there, ready to fight or run, depending on what he did. "Johnny. I think you two have a lot to talk about," Julie said as she left us. ['It's time for those two too finally talk about their feelings.']

I stood in front of Johnny, legs spread with hands on hips, "Johnny, [sniff, sniff] I am still your best friend under all of this. [Sniff, sniff] Ever since that Halloween, [sniff, sniff] I have wanted to be a girl. [Sniff, sniff] You know that I have been doing this for years. Oh Johnny, I can't help it! I have to wear dresses to feel complete, no matter the cost," I wept. There, I had bared my soul to him; it was now up to him. He looked up at me, and I saw a tear in his eye! He stood there as I reached out and wiped it away as I wiped mine. I said softly, "I need you to be my friend now, more than ever. But if you can't, I'll understand," I sighed.

Then he bear-hugged me with his fierce strength, "Oh Kelly, You look like the girl of my dreams! To me, you are a dream come true. Tell me this, how can I not be your friend?"[How can I NOT love you?]

"Dreams? Can it be true?" [My Dream Lover?]

Johnny smiled sheepishly, "Ever since you were Tinkerbell that Halloween, I have wanted Kelly girl and no other. You know that I do not date a girl more than once. Well, that's because they are not you. Will you reject me Kelly?" [GOD, I hope not]

I led him over to a bench under an apple tree, "Johnny about last night." ['This is gonna be hard for me, but I have to do it.']

"What about last night?"[Please GOD, I love her! Will she now reject me after what we did after the game?']

I led him to sit on the bench and sat by him, "You are the boy of my dreams Johnny. I never dreamed that this was possible, but ever since Tinkerbell and that doctor, you've been in my dreams." [' Was I fated to meet that doctor? Why he did what he did to me I will never really know.']

"Is that why you did it?"

"Did what?"

"Gave me oral sex."

"Yes, I thought that I was ready, but I am not. As much as I enjoyed it, now I know I was not ready for you," I sighed. ['Will I ever be ready for Johnny, or am I to meet another, or is Julie really the one for me?']

Then Johnny knelt before me, "Neither am I, but I still love you. Even now, I want to ravish you here you are." [I sound like such a heel, but Kelly is my girl.]

"As Kelly boy or Kelly girl?" [DAMN!! WHY DID I SAY THAT JUST NOW??!!]

Then Johnny stood straight up with disgust in his eyes, "Both, Neither. I don't know!"[Sex with Kelly boy? NEVER!! Now I can't see it with Kelly girl.]

Then Johnny walked away from me. I had just turned him off of me it seemed. I wanted to rip my heart out for hurting him as I did. I loved him, but a part of me was scared of him too. Which part would win?

Then Julie came and sat by me. She hugged me to her as I wept bitter tears of regret. "I knew that you two needed to talk things out. I know things look bad now, but Johnny will be back in time." ['Poor Kelly and Johnny, they can't seem to do anything but hurt each other now.']

"I don't know Jules; he might not want me anymore, not after what just happened. And I wouldn't blame him either." [Sniff, sniff]

"Why is that my sister?" ['What did she do to cause my brother to run to his room?']

"I asked him if he was in love with Kelly boy or Kelly girl." [Sniff, sniff]

Then she slapped me, hard. "OW!" I rubbed my cheek where she slapped me.

"Kelly, that was dumb!! He loves you!! NOW he has to choose which he loves more!" she cried as she began to weep. ['I gave Kelly up for Johnny, now she has lost him. Can she get him back, or is my brother to meet another?']

"But Julie, I want to be Kelly girl, [sniff, sniff] not Kelly boy."

Julie kissed the cheek that she slapped, "Then I'll go tell him."

"Thanks sis."

"Anytime sis."

Then we powdered our noses to cover up all evidence of the tiff, but it didn't work, We headed back down to where the others were, minus Johnny when our revelry was interrupted, "I see that you girls have been crying just now, I hope that you two worked things out between yourselves." ['So much like Andrea, and I. I doubt that there any of Stu left in Kelly, unless it's her dedication.']

"MOMMA!!"

"Kelly, when Johnny came back crying, we knew that you had said something to upset him. And Julie would have taken up for her brother, so we knew that you two had a tiff."

"Yes, Momma."

Mrs. Woods stood by Momma, "Besides, we heard Julie slap you," admitted Mrs. Woods.

"I didn't slap her THAT hard Momma!!"

"True Jules, but we were snooping after Johnny left in a huff."

"Are you mad at me?"

Then Mrs. Woods hugged me close. "No dear child, you simply need to talk to Johnny later after Jules has given him your message."

"I'm going now."

Then Julie headed up to their house while we got the dinner ready. Momma and Mrs. Woods set out the plates and plastic-ware while I got out the chilled glasses and filled them with soda and placed the bottle of wine in the center of the table. It was only as we kids grew up that we got to have any spirits, we could get a sip or a taste. When we got into high school, we could have wine coolers at dinner, but only a small glass. This was different though. Tonight, we actually got a glass of wine to help celebrate Mister Woods opening of an annex to his Emporium, now he could sell those reconditioned appliances that were now as good as new in his store instead of out in the parking lot.

* * *

About this time, Aunt Debbie arrived at Father Downing's Chapel She stopped because she knew that they were my friends, and she needed some comfort as she was abbot to embark upon a new journey herself.

She got out of her car and was met by Sister Mary, "Greetings, welcome to the Rest Area Chapel."

"Thank you; I am Debbie Moore, Kelly's Aunt."

"Come with me, then. You're expected," she said as she headed toward the Chapel. ['So, Kelly has chosen.']

"Oh?"

"Yes, Terri called us last night about Kelly."

Then, Father Downing arrived from his office, "Yes, Are you here because of Kelly?"

She sighed, "I am. I am going to take her to live with me. "

"Why?"

"She can't control herself around Johnny."

She stayed there for lunch as they counseled her about me, calming her friends about being hurt by me.

* * *

After the barbecue, Johnny and I stayed out, talking, just the two of us. "This is the only time. After this I'm done with it."

"Why Kelly? is it because of what you said tonight?"

"Yes Johnny, I love you and I want to marry you, but I am a boy, not a girl and I don't want to hurt you again."

"I love you too Kelly, to me, you are all the girl that I need."

We shared a kiss, then our passion ignited again and I felt him stiffen. We embraced and we sated our passion once again. I took him once again in my mouth and tasted his musky sweetness as I drank in his climax.

"You might be a boy under that dress, but you are still my dream girl. How can I ever hurt you? How could I ever deny my love for you?"['Kelly is the only one that I have ever made love to.]

"How can you say that you love me? I am not woman?"[LORD, why could I not have been born a woman?]

"I don't know, all that I know is that I do. Believe me Kelly; I am as confused as you! You are, my best friend." [What can be done to relieve our heartache?]

"Oh Johnny, if only I were a woman for you, then everything would be different!!" Then I ran home and slammed the door with Momma close behind me. We had made love each other, but I was not a real girl. I had given myself to him twice now and now I am confused and empty.

Momma came and hugged me to her," Come sit here with me. We need to talk."

I sat, and then Momma smiled at me. "Johnny is a handsome young man and you're a pretty young lady that happens to be his best friend and a boy. He is attracted to you and you to him. Do you want to be a girl?"[I already know, but Kelly needs to give voice to her deep desire now, more than ever if she is to be helped in time.]

"Yes I do Momma, more than anything!! But how can I be a girl?"

[She never heard about how boys look like girls. All that she's done is play at being a girl al this time.] "Then it is time that you go and live with your Aunt Debbie. Time for my daughter to leave the nest and fly away now."

"Why Momma? I wanna stay with you."

"You need her help. You know how to dress as a girl, but when it comes to Johnny, you lose control. That's not the way to act as you have around Johnny. And you and Johnny need time way from each other."['It's hard for me to send you away, but I must to protect you from yourself.]

"I know, every time I am alone with him, I lose myself. If I were a girl, I would be pregnant. And truth to tell, I want to get pregnant, even though I know that I can't" [LORD, will I ever be whole?]

"Your Aunt Debbie will help you. Good thing I called her before the dinner tonight." [Knowing her, she's on her way right now.]

"Does she know about me?"

"Yes, and she wants to help you to be a woman too. I will miss you, but Debbie can help you better than I can and she has our parents there to help too."[Come to think of it, Kelly will enjoy herself since she loves Daddy's farm.]

"We need to tell Johnny. I will miss him most of all."[Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking.]

"We will as soon as Debbie arrives."[Debbie, take care of my most precious rose.]

"Don't I need to pack?"

"No, I packed all of your clothes as well as my old uniforms. Debbie will have fun shopping you too."[One thing and for sure, Kelly will give her shopping gene a real workout.]

Then the bell rang. "Let's go see who that is."

I opened the door and I saw a tall, strong woman standing there wearing a red sun dress and sandals. "Hello Kelly, come to your Aunt Debbie." Then she hugged me to her as I wept and soaked her dress with my tears of joy." I hear that you like a certain boy."

"Yes Auntie, I sniffed. [Had Momma told her everything?]

* * *

My Aunt Debbie Annette Moore is a tall lithe gray eyed brunette. She owns/operates a dress shop over in the valley. She loves to collect rare books. She has a library of books sold by the public library that she loans out while keeping her collection of first edition in her room. I have spent many a weekend in her library with the twins as we delved into the stories.

* * *

"Do you want to be a girl?"['Kelly is so like I was at his age.']

"Yes." [Sniff] Yes, I do, but how can I be a girl? I was born a boy."

"There are two way, you can wear appliances that give you a woman's appearance or you can opt for surgery. In both, you can choose whether or not to use hormones to help you become a woman."

"Which should I choose Auntie?"

"I think that it's best to leave your options open, so I say choose appliances. You can always go with hormones and surgery later."

"Then I choose appliances. That way I can still be Kelly boy at times."

"Very well, I can teach you what you need to know about being a woman, but do not go into this lightly Kelly."['I must make sure that he is ready to be a girl.']

"Why Auntie?"

"You must forget about being a boy if you are to be a girl. Otherwise people will see you as a boy in a dress. Like they did me that Halloween night when I became who I am."['That is one nightmare I hope to keep from happening to you.']

"But they have seen me wearing a dress at Halloween Auntie and they never had a problem with it."'

"They saw Kelly, a boy in a dress, not a girl, like my friends did me. Besides, you have yet to live exclusively as Kelly girl. They can and will turn against you."['Like my FRIENDS did me!!']

"Oh."

Then the Woods came up. "Hello, I am Mister Charles Woods; this is my wife Andrea, daughter Julie and son Johnny. We're worried about Kelly."

"Come in Chuck, we have a lot to tell you." sobbed Momma. ['This is gonna be harder than I thought.']

Rushing over to Momma, Mrs. Woods hugged her close, "What's wrong my friend?"

"It's Kelly, come on to the kitchen where I have sodas ready."['It's going to be hard because they all love Kelly so much.']

Then Momma led us to the kitchen where we all sat down to a tall, cool glass of soda. "As you know, Kelly has been dressing as a girl every now and then. Now, Kelly and Johnny have fallen in love and Kelly is afraid of losing himself to Johnny as a girl."

Then Momma turned to Johnny." Johnny, I don't blame you, you are both responsible. I know that you love her and have had sex with Kelly. She needs to learn how to control herself or both of you can get hurt."['Like Debbie was.']

"I never wanted to hurt Kelly, but she is the girl of my dream."['I actually said that?']

"Then give her a chance to grow." ['I can see why Kelly loves him now.']

"Yes ma'am. Will she ever come back to me?"

"Is Kelly going away?" asked Julie. Why must Kelly leave me? I will miss my sister."

"Yes, I am taking Kelly with me so that she can learn how to be a lady."['Away from here, she can grow into the rose that my sister sees in her.']

"But I have been teaching her all these years! Was I not good enough?"

"Be that as it may, I am going to teach her how to be herself and to be strong. You have indeed done a superb job, but Kelly now needs much more than you can teach her."['I truly wish that Kelly could stay, but leaving is unfortunately for the best.']

Then I went over to Johnny "I will miss you the most, but if I stay, I will lose myself in you," I wept as he held me to him.

"Then go my love with my blessings, he cried." He soaked my top with his tears as I drenched his with mine. But I needed to go or I would never learn to be strong. ['How can I live without her, I want to know?!!']

"Come child, it is time to go."['This is the hardest part for you, letting go, but you must in order to grow.']

As we left, I saw everybody crying as we pulled away and left my former life behind. I slept on the way to Aunt Debbie's place. She had put on some orchestra music, then she played Bette Middler's The Rose and I awoke crying as it ended. "Yes my child, we are both "The Rose."We have both been in our winter and now I will see that you blossom into your spring."

The Rose

(as sung by Bette Midler)

Some say love it is a river

That drowns the tender reed.

Some say love it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger

An endless, aching need

I say love it is a flower

And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance.

It's the dream afraid of waking

That never takes the chance.

It's the one who won't be taken

Who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying

That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long.

And you think that love is only

For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snow

Lies the seed that with the sun's love,

In the spring,

Becomes a

ROSE

* * *

Kelly's Journey Chapter-9-Decisions By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: After the game, Kelly discovers more about being a girl and her fear of being outed when her mother finally discovers her son is no more, when she sees Kelly and Johnny sating their passion. Confronting Kelly, she discovers the truth about Kelly girl and her part in bringing her to life. With her mother and friends, she finds out more about herself and the beginning of a journey beyond her wildest dreams

---

* * *
I did not realize it but my momma was home early and had seen me with Johnny and what I had done. She usually was at work until past midnight on the weekends. That was when the doctors the she worked for had their parties, which she hosted at night after running the offices during the day truthfully, we did not need the money, Daddy's pension, and stock portfolio guaranteed that we did not need to worry about paying bills. But Momma had joined the workforce in order to alleviate her grief over losing Daddy. But what she was NOT ready for was how feminine I had become without testosterone.

I had been chemically castrated by a doctor under the influence of my mortal enemy, linden. He had been apart of a psychological study by the school board to help determine if any student had any hidden needs, But this doctor, upon hearing about how I dressed as Kelly girl at times, chose to make it a reality. He prescribed blockers and hormones that were about to send me into a girl's puberty until the deception was discovered by our family doctor.

The outcome of that was the deceiving doctor was imprisoned for his crime, and died there under mysterious circumstances. Because of him, the Love that I had for Julie was transferred to her twin brother Johnny. I saw myself as a hetero girl in a boy's body, and as such, my love for Julie became that of a best friend-sister instead of a best friend-lover. But at the game, I had finally sated my passion for Johnny, only to have Momma see it.

* * *

Terri Moore: [' I can not believe what I have just seen. Kelly just had oral sex with his best friend Johnny Woods. The most amazing thing is that he was wearing one of my old cheerleader uniforms from when I went to the same school. Now I must deal with what just happened, does Kelly see himself as a girl now? THAT I must know to help my son.']

I stayed upon the swing, in a sweet daydream about me and Johnny being married until Mom pulled up, by then, it was too late to change, not that I would have wanted too. She came over to the swing and sat down. "Well, I finally get to see how I look in my Cheerleader uniform. You look very pretty." [' I will NOT let him know that I saw what happened as I drove up,']

* * *

What I did not realize at the time was that Julie had seen it too from the balcony outside of her room, ['I can not believe what I just saw! I never would have believed that my best friend Kelly would have given oral sex to my brother Johnny! I know that ever since Kelly was chemically castrated by that doctor, that he has lost that spark of love for me, but for him to have gone down on my brother is totally unheard of! But Kelly has shown some interest in Johnny, I guess that he has decided to be Kelly girl from now on! I know that my brother Johnny is ignorant about this, all that he knows is that he loves Kelly. Now he must decide if it is Kelly boy or Kelly girl that has taken his heart, I can only be there when things fall apart and help Kelly to really be a girl.']

* * *

I looked at Mom in a stupor. I was still groggy from my dream and I was out in the open too. Anybody could have seen me. "Uh..." ['What did she see? Did she see what I did with Johnny?']

Then she patted me upon my hosed knee, "Fear not my child, you're safe here in your yard." ['Don't want for Kelly to be afraid.']

* * *

Let me tell you about the Woods Estate. The Estate is four acres of woods enclosed within a ten foot tall brick fence with one foot high iron spikes on top. The only way in is the Main Gate made of wrought iron set up on rollers that ease the gate open or closed from either a switch in the cars, a keypad next to the gate on either side or from the Manor. The driveway circles to the front door, then to the back where the garage is located by the outdoor pool, patio, Playhouse, and Daddy' house, which is now the Guest House.

The trees in the back are evergreens that we cut down each year for Christmas and oaks for firewood. Poppa Woods has a company come out and cut down the trees when needed and when Christmas is over, the tree is mulched into chips for the compost pile. We would often go back under the trees and camp out during the summer, and the holidays. Poppa Woods kept a collection of woodland animals and birds there along with a well stocked pond filled with bass, catfish, and amphibians. Hi did it to honor Daddy's love of nature.

Daddy had grown up on a farm where he learned all about farming, and about the nearby woods. He was in the Boy Scouts and had achieved the rank of Eagle Scout before quitting when he chose his family over scouting. He went after those that had attacked his brother Brian, turning him into Aunt Debbie. But Constable Sebastian had convinced him to become a Police Officer, a duty that he fulfilled, giving his life to save an infant. That is why I am here, now.

* * *

['Why would she say that? Was there some thing wrong? Was she mad at me?'] "Are you mad at me Momma?"

Momma came and sat by me. She was wearing a red skirt suit with cream blouses and hose. She looked like a model for the perfect secretary, "No Kelly, she sighed."Ever since you have been dressing as a girl, you have only done it at the Woods or a costume party, never over here. I have always wondered why you never dressed as a girl for me." ['Kelly looks so much like I did when I was in high school that it's scary.']

"I never knew that I could," I began to weep. ['Have I wronged Momma all these years by not being Kelly girl for her? I never knew that she wanted Kelly girl.']

"Why?" ['Have I wronged my child all of these years without knowing it?']

Then I dried my eyes with a hanky that Momma handed me, "Even though you let me keep a few girls clothes, you never asked me to be a girl for you. I know that I would have been happy too, but you always seemed to be reluctant to see me as a girl. Why is that, Momma?" ['All that I have ever wanted was to share Kelly girl with her.']

[Sigh] "You're right Kelly! I have been so caught up in my work that I've let the Woods raise you. You see, I was scared to admit that you were more comfortable as Kelly girl than as Kelly boy. I so wanted for you to be more like Stu than me," she wept as she admitted her blunder to me. ['Oh Stu, have I blundered in letting our son be a girl? He is as natural as a girl that I can't see any of you in him. Has that doctor taken away our son and left us with a daughter?']

Momma had sacrificed so much for me that I can never repay. After Daddy died, she entrusted me to the Woods as she took every job that she could. She was finally able to land her current position has receptionist to several doctors. Her job also included hosting parties for them. This was why she spent many nights away from home. Yet, she always found time to be at the games that I was in. But due to unforeseen circumstances, she had to work tonight. If she hadn't we wouldn't be here.']

Then I hugged her to me as I to wept, "Momma, I know that you love me, you have been to all of my games and have given me so much that I was reluctant to hurt you. Can we do something as mother and daughter?" ['Lord, how can I make it up to Momma?']

Then, Momma wiped her eyes and smiled, "Well, I can now make up for the past to you now, if you like. In fact, there are many things that we can do as mother and daughter." [''Kelly ought to like this.']

Then I scratched my head in confusion, "How Momma? Julie and Mrs. Woods, and I do just about everything that girls do together. What will we do?" ['What can Momma do for me that Julie and Mrs. Woods haven't?']

Momma pointed at my outfit and smiled, "Shall I let you have all of my old Cheerleader and Dance uniforms?" she grinned at me. ['He's wearing one now, so why not? I have to admit that seeing her in my old stuff will be something else.']

"Momma, I know from the photos on the mantle that you were a Cheerleader, but I never saw any of you on the Dance Team. Any of a girl in a Dance Team outfit is at Granny's." [' What else about Momma will I learn tonight? What will Momma learn about me, tonight?']

* * *

We had never had a talk about anything. I had always gone to Mrs. Woods before. Now Momma was ready, and so was I. I wanted to talk to Momma as her daughter; I no longer felt that I was her son. I knew that Daddy accepted me as a girl, but not if I was to transition into a girl. THAT I was not sure of, yet. I did not know if transitioning was right for me. As much as I hated to admit it, linden's poison was still making me doubt myself.

* * *

"Yes Kelly, those are pictures of your momma. Stu was so handsome that I wanted to cheer and dance for him, I was lucky that I found him." ['Hopefully, my daughter Kelly will find the same love in Johnny.']

"Cheer AND Dance? I never thought about you on the Dance Team even after seeing the photos on the mantle, I thought they were Granny's. And Granny would look good in those outfits even now. I wonder if she and Grandpa still snuggle." ['I hope so. I'd hat to think that they DON'T have any fun.']

"Yes, those Cheerleader uniforms are from my junior high school days and high school. I was on the Dance Team & Drum Major in my senior year in high school. I guess that you never paid attention to the year. I'd have thought that you'd have known, but I guess that you wanted to see your Granny, not me in those uniforms," she smirked. ['Come to think about it, Daddy would love it too.']

"Well, you have to admit that we three look alike except for the hair. I guess that we were blessed with good looks. Am I being egotistical about my looks are what?" ['I can't help it! I have to poke fun at us. We could easily pass as each other.']

Then Momma smiled wickedly, "Kelly, your Granny was in high school when miniskirts came out. With her being on the Cheer squad, she became quite popular because guys got to see her bloomers. My momma really let me know about boys and their predilection with hosed legs when she gave me the talk about sex. That's why I never have bought anything but regular undies, no g-strings for me." ['I'm glad that Andrea never went for them either. And Julie doesn't like them either.']

Then I smirked, "I know how that is. Going to Ronzi's as Kelly girl sure was an education in its way," I giggled. ['It was there that I truly became Kelly girl.']

"Oh?" Just what have you been doing that I don't know about as Kelly girl? And should I be worried that my son has such experience?" Momma smiled. ['This ought to be good. Not every boy knows what girls go through.']

"I've had my butt pinched more than once when dressed like this," I said as I lifted my skirt to show my bloomer. But don't worry Momma, My friends didn't do it, only strangers, but will you appreciate the distinction, Momma? ['At least when I was pinched, my friends would stop it.']

* * *

Then we both broke out laughing at the memories we had of guys and their roaming hands. I never thought of my momma being a teen girl until then. To me, she had always been an adult. But that is how any child sees their parents. To me, I see Daddy as he was the last day that I saw him alive. Oh, I have added a few gray hairs on his temples to show his wisdom in a few dreams, but he is mostly seen as that young vibrant man that I knew as a toddler.

* * *

Then Momma got serious again, "Kelly, how many know that you dress as a girl? Dear God, please not the entire school!!" ['If that's the case, then linden can hurt my child.']

Then I shrugged, "Practically the entire school. Why?" They haven't done anything mean about me being Kelly girl. In fact, some ask me to be Kelly girl." ['I hope that chills Momma's fear.']

Then Momma hugged me to her, "There are those that would hurt you if they ever found you alone, that's why. I have been accosted when wearing my uniforms before. Luckily, nothing happened because I knew how to defend myself. But it will be much worse with you, Kelly if you are attacked as Kelly girl. If you are ever discovered, they might kill you."

Then I thought about that defrocked preacher and shivered in fear of his hatred, "I know about them Momma, but I'm always with somebody. Well, except for tonight, and they don't know the code, so I was safe, here."

"You weren't for a bit. You were here all alone wearing that uniform and were day dreaming. What if they had known the code and it hadn't of been me?" ['I hate to burst his bubble, but they can get in if they tried hard enough.']

Then I looked Momma in the eye, "Then they'd not have gotten in. The Estate's Security only lets the Woods and us in. Why are you doing this, Momma? Am I being silly to trust the Estate's Security?"['Is there another reason for her attitude?']

"True, but what if they were forcing one of us to let them in?'I hate to admit it, but that is the only weakness in the system." ['Will she see the safety back up?']

Then I pulled away from her in anger at her continuing disrespect, "Momma, do you not think that everybody trying that would be gassed then? All that we have to do is NOT give the all clear signal. Mister Woods has made sure about those things. He has the best security he can get. He had it installed to protect us after Daddy died. Sometimes I wonder why he went to such extremes, but I am thankful for his dedication to our safety" ['It's kept us from using the Estate for partying when we kids were alone, but only the adult can reset the security parameters.']

Then Momma hugged me to her, "Oh Kelly, you're right. Being a mother means worrying about your children. When your Father died, YOU kept me sane. I couldn't leave you alone in the world. When you were in my belly, I thought that I was giving birth to a girl, now it looks like I really did. Your father wanted a son like him, but when he saw you, he forgot about that. Kelly, it's too bad that Stu and never had another child, but we tried and failed. And did we ever try! I think that if you'd spent the night with Julie and Johnny, you'd have a brother, or sister."

Then I snuggled up to her, "Momma, are you saying that you like me as a girl? I feel comfortable as a girl, should I become a girl for real?" [Will she accept me as a girl?']

"Yes I do my child, I want for you to be happy. Since you've chosen to be a girl for the night, follow me and I'll give you my old cheer and dance uniforms. I even have my Mom's old cheer and dance stuff. She gave it to me when I went into cheer and dance. I never thought that I'd be given you these uniforms. I thought that it'd be Julie some day." ['She is about our size, just like her mom, Andrea.']

* * *

Then Momma led me to the Woods Manor and into the spare rooms where she had her trunks. There were several trunks filled with her old uniforms, they were all sealed up in a plastic bag from the cleaners. As we perused her collection of uniforms, I saw that quite a few were very glitzy with spangles and glitter. Not only were there a bunch of uniforms for cheer and dance, there were also handmade costumes from vintage TV shows and movies. If I'd had access to this treasure trove before now, I'd have been an even bigger hit at Halloween and on Career Day at school. There were even old packages of vintage pantyhose and tights still in their brown paper bags.

* * *

As I held up one that was a red woman's uniform from Star Trek, I was amazed at the collection, "WOW! Then you have a whole bunch of stuff." [Giggle] "Even costumes from Star Trek, my favorite show. No wonder I love that show, you sure do. Momma. Maybe we can get together a group and form a landing party," I giggled. [I doubt that she'll go for that.']

Then I saw Momma holding up a cute sailor girl style skirted leotard up to her neck, "Yes, but only the Pep Rally uniforms are really for daily wear, everything else is too glitzy, or you can wear them skating or dancing. And sorry, no landing parties, at least until Halloween." ["I used to do just that when ice or roller skating with Stu.']

"Oh Momma, I just giggled instead of laughing!! Am I turning into a girl?" ['Should I be worried or is it just that I'm dressed like this I wonder.']

Then Momma dropped the uniform and led me over to a mirror, "Kelly, tell me what are you wearing?" ['Time to comfort Kelly's fears on being a girl now.']

I fingered the waist where there was a belt, "One of your Cheerleader uniforms." ['If we were to wear identical uniforms, no one could tell the difference.']

"Do Cheerleaders giggle or laugh?" ['OK, I know we mainly cheer, but that's NOT my point.']

"They uh giggle, but they mainly jump around and shake their pom poms." ['Julie always looked cute doing that in my book.']

Momma then turned me to look at her, "Then do not worry about it, you were just being a girl."['There, that should do it, I hope.']

"But I am a boy, not a girl!" ['At least I was a boy before that DAMNED doctor got a hold of me.']

"A boy in a dress Kelly." ['I hate having to deflate his ego, but he needs to face reality now.']

"Oh. That hurt, Momma. ['Why did she do that to me?']

* * *

Here I was, dressed as a girl, because in my Heart, I was a girl. It had begun back when Daddy had died, but for me became my reality when I was chemically castrated. Until then, I was being Kelly girl for the fun of it. I had been in Love with my girlfriend, Julie, but knowing that I could NEVER give her any children, I fell in Love with Johnny. Now, I know that it was the hormones flooding my brain. Perhaps, if I had had the counseling that I didn't know that I needed, I could have actually chosen Julie. But THAT, I will never know.

* * *

"Kelly, I did not mean to hurt you, but you make such a pretty girl right now that I do not see a boy. Oh, Kelly, you are so innocent that I have to be extra gentle with you. I don't know where your dressing as a girl will lead, so I must be ready to help you, my child to discover exactly who and what you are inside." [''Lord, I need Your Wisdom, and Strength. Please, help my child Kelly to find out who she/he is.']

Then I smiled, "Thanks Momma. It's nice that you see me as a girl right now, but do I really make a good boy like Johnny?" ['Lord, If not for the castration, would I be as big as Johnny?']

She sighed, "Of course I see you as a girl, silly! How can I NOT when you're dressed as you are? As for Johnny, YOU tell ME how good he is, KELLY GIRL!" she laughed. ['This ought to be good! I wonder if she'll tell. DAMN! Here I am, calling Kelly a girl. I guess that I've accepted her, then.']

"MOMMA! YOU SAW! WHAT DO YOU THINK!?" I exclaimed.

She hugged me, "That Johnny is your First Love, just as Stu was mine. I hope that like me, he is your only Love." ['Lord, will she also suffer a broken Heart? I'd do anything to protect her.']

I kissed Momma on the cheek, "Thanks, Momma. I needed to hear that."

"What is your girl name? 'I do hope that you chose another name for your girl self or things could get bad for you if you ever get outed." I must be sure that 'Kelly girl' is not a way of referring to her girl mode.']

"Kelly Lee, like my boy name, Momma. Why do you ask? After all. Everybody in school and Ronzi's knows about me being Kelly girl." ['Does she not know that the Woods approve of Kelly girl?']

Momma sighed in resignation. "Damn!! I should have been involved long ago and not have given up my duty. It's too late now. When did it all start?" ['Well, Lord,

At least Andrea and Chuck were there for my daughter.']

"Back in the first grade when I went as Tinkerbell to the Halloween party. I am surprised that you had to ask." ['Why did she ask?']

"I am sorry Kelly, if I had known back then that you would be doing this now, I would have given you another girl name or tried to stop you. But now I know that stopping you would not have worked. And even though I know about you being Tinkerbell, I was not sure if that was the case." ['I wonder why the Woods didn't think about it either.]

Then I hugged Momma, "It's alright Momma, Julie and Johnny know. In fact, if you remember, Julie has let me borrow her shorts and tops at times, as well as Johnny. It all started so that I wouldn't have anymore nightmares about Daddy's death." [' Best to remind her.']

"Yes, I do remember that, Kelly. It's just that I thought that it'd have been later, when that nut job gave you those hormones." ['No wonder, it started when they were all kids.']

"No, Momma. That simply decided my gender."

"And Johnny likes you as a girl?" ['I can see that Kelly has feelings for Johnny as if he was a girl.']

Then I blushed, remembering how I had oral sex with him, "Very much Momma. Is being Johnny's girl such a bad idea to you, Momma?" ['Lord, I HOPE not!']

Momma smiled, "Kelly, to me, Johnny is a very good choice for you."

"Thanks, Momma!"

"How far have you gone with him?'Have you given yourself away sexually to your best friend, Johnny beyond oral sex? If so, what does it mean to you?'" ['Are they gay? DEAR LORD!! I need to know.'']

"I had oral sex with him. That's all, Momma. And I still remember the taste too." ['Is that normal, Lord?']

"How often?" And it sounds as if you two had normal hetero sex." [DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR THAT!!]

"Just the one time."

"When?"['THANK GOD!! Maybe there's time to save them both from folly.']

"Tonight."

['At least Kelly was a girl, that means that he sees himself as a girl when he wears a dress, not a boy when he has sex, but still..'] "Was this the first time for you to wear one of my Cheerleader uniforms?"['Is it wearing my uniforms that does it? Or is it any girls uniform?']

"Yes, Momma. Why do you ask?"

"Kelly, Cheerleaders do not have wanton sex!!" ['I have to nip this in the bud before they both get hurt!!']

"But Momma, it was not wanton, it was beautiful." ['I can still remember it.']

"Did he force you?" ['Dear LORD, I hope not.']

"No Momma, I wanted to do it, in fact, I was in charge." [Sniff]

"Kelly, now you know that sex can be wonderful, but you can also get into trouble too." ['I really hate having to do this to Kelly, but it's needed.']

"Momma, I am a boy under all of this, I CAN'T get pregnant." ['That's one thing I really regret about being a boy.']

"True, but you can get sick from unprotected sex."[GOD!! I never thought that I'd ever have THIS talk with Kelly, at least not in this context.']

"Do you mean AIDS? I know that Johnny is safe; he does not go for wanton sex. In fact, until tonight, he was a virgin, like me."

"Yes and other things as well. Have they not covered this in Health?" ['Like so many other parents, I've foolishly relied upon the school to teach him.']

"I do not know, I take it in Health next semester." ['I'm getting tired now. What does Momma want to do now?']

Then Momma looked at her watch, "Well, it's getting late, Kelly. Let's continue this tomorrow." ['I'm getting tired and I suspect that Kelly is too, from the way that he keeps nodding off. Now to see if I have a son or a daughter tonight. I'll let Kelly decide which.']

"Want me to sleep as a boy or a girl?" [' I hope as a girl.']

['He looks as comfortable as a girl that he needs to explore what it's like being a girl around me now.'] "I have an old Wonder Woman Underoos set, want to wear that?" ['So, I will have a daughter tonight and possibly tomorrow. Now it's time to see just how much of a girl that he wants to be come tomorrow. I will support him in whatever he chooses, just as Daddy did for my sister Debbie years ago.'']

"Sure Momma, but should I keep my hose on? Please say yes." ['I don't know why, but I like hose in bed, just like Julie.']

"Well, since Linda Carter wore hose as Wonder Woman, why not?" Momma giggled. "I remember wearing hose to bed as a girl and how good it felt that I still do it, besides Kelly, you evidently likes it from your question." [' Momma thought that I was silly to wear hose to bed until she did; now she does it to and I know that Grandpa loves it too.']

"Yeah Momma, I do." Then stepping into my Mom's room, she handed me a red top, and blue star spangled bloomers. When I went to don them, I saw that I looked like Wonder Woman minus the lasso. So I donned a pair of red knee hi socks and went to show Momma. Knocking upon her door, she opened it and I saw that she was wearing a red top and shorts as well as hose.

"Well Wonder Woman, ready for bed? You just need the Tiara." ['Well, Kelly really needs black hair, but I'm NOT gonna hide her ginger hair.']

"Yes Momma."['It's great that you understand about sleeping in pantyhose.']

"We have a lot to talk about tomorrow."['Kelly is so innocent and beautiful, like a rose. Can I keep Kelly innocent in the days to come or will my rose wither away?]

Then, stepping over to me, she kissed my cheek and we hugged. I was glad that we were finally talking. It had taken way too long. "Good night Kelly, remember that I love you. It's like looking in a mirror when I see you."

"I love you too Momma."['What tomorrow will hold for me?']

* * *

Then Momma went to her room and I went to mine, letting the Woods sleep. But Momma called Pastor Pat about me, first.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need Pa? This is Joan."

"No, I need to talk to you sis."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with my nephew?" ['Surely he hasn't got into trouble, but why else would Terri call me?']

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"DAMN! Will he be here, Sunday? Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it. And as for Sunday. I don't know yet."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will I, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks Pat."

* * *

Then Momma called Father Downing.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need Mary? She is baking some cookies.."

"No, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with that rascal?"

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"LORD HAVE MERCY! I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

Mary picked up, "Terri, I heard the yelling, Is it true? Kelly did it?"

Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, Mary. I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, Father. I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will we, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks, you two."

* * *

Then momma called Aunt Debbie that night before she went to bed.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is your sister Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need momma or poppa?"

"No, I need to talk to you sis."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with my nephew?" ['Surely he hasn't got into trouble, but why else would Terri call me?']

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"DAMN! Will he be here, Sunday? Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it. And as for Sunday. I don't know yet."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will I, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks Sis."

Kelly's Journey Chapter 8: Exodus By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Kelly and her mother attend a dinner party at the Woods where Johnny shows definite sexual interest in Kelly. After a tiff where Johnny and Kelly a dinner party at the Woods, Kelly and her boyfriend once again sate their passion. Afterwards, Kelly becomes confused about who she really is and her inability to resist loving Johnny, causing her to make a choice that changes everybody's lives.

---

The next morning, Mom and I were dressed in a red dress, white hose and sandals. I drove us to the restaurant for breakfast. We were seated, then I saw the Woods at another table with the mayor and her family. Our meal was served and we ate in silence, almost finishing when they stopped at our table on their way out.

Mister Woods looked a bit comical in his western outfit, "Morning y'all. We're having a barbecue later at our house, we'd like y'all to come. God, I look hokey in this getup, but the mayor loves western style food and asked us to dress authentically today," he laughed as he held out his hands.

"Thanks Chuck. We'd be delighted to come right Kelly?" [' Mayor Russell is infamous for her love of all things western, but I love her anyway.']

"Sure Mom. Mister Woods here makes the best barbecue in the world in his smoke pit even if he looks hokey in that getup," I giggled. The entire clan were in western theme clothing, Julie looked really cute in her Dalla Cowboys Cheerleader costume.']

Mister Woods patted me on the shoulder, "Thanks Kelly, you look very pretty, it's no wonder that Johnny likes you." [' So like Terri that only Terri's wedding ring gives her away.']

"Thanks Mister Woods," I blushed. [' I wonder, does he know that I fancy his son something rotten?']

"Kelly and I will bring over potato salad after we clean the house," momma offered. [' Time for Kelly to learn some of the more mundane things about keeping a house up if she is to be a real housewife for Johnny.']

"What? What is she going on about? I was going to pal around with Julie after Church and work on my tan." [' Why did momma do this?']

Momma patted my hand, "We need to switch over to the winter drapes honey. We need time to just be girls and alone, this will give us that chance, Besides, I have all those quilts to wash that we use as curtains and I want to put up fresh ones after Church." [' It will be hot and dusty, but Kelly will enjoy it once we get started what with my child's competitive spirit and all around good humor.']

Then I slapped my forehead, "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. We usually make a sport of it, To bad that daddy ain't here, he's good at reaching the top of the window," I sighed. ['It's been so long since I thought about you daddy, please forgive me.']

Momma hugged me close, "Oh Kelly, I still miss Stu too after all these years. I'll NEVER find another one like your daddy," she wept. [' Lord, will I ever meet another like my Stu? Or am I to stay single? ']

Then we spent a few minutes remembering daddy and how much we still love him. Then as momma and I were getting up, Mister Woods took the check from the table.

"Hey! What are you doing Charlie?"

Mister Woods smiled, taking care of breakfast for you Terri. Now y'all get on to Church, we'll be along after we change for Church."

Momma pecked Mister Woods on the cheek, "Thanks Charlie."

Then momma and I waited as the Woods changed in the restaurant's bathroom. When they came out, the guys were wearing suits and the girls wore matching blue skirt suits. We followed them to Church where Johnny was the Crucifer while Julie and I were Acolytes. It was a Methodist Church after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, I guess that I ned to tell you about my Church, our pastor is a former Catholic Priest who accepted the position of Pastor at Tri-County First Methodist Church. He was a young Priest, fresh out of Seminary, but there were no openings in the Catholic Church around here, so since he was led to pastor a Church here, he accepted the position at Trinity.

As for Acolytes and Crucifer: the Acolytes, carry a special torch to light the candles while the Crucifer carries the Cross and places it in a stand up front. Then after the sermon, the Acolytes use the bell-shaped bowl on the torch to snuff out the candle while the Crucifer carries the Cross back to the back. We three have been doing this ever since we were old enough and always enjoyed our part of the Service.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then after Church, we went home where we cleaned the entire house. Momma and I pulled the curtains and drapes and put up fresh ones. We also shampooed the carpets with the help of Johnny and his stong back moving the furniture and operating the shampooer which he got a kick out of. We thanked him by keepng him supplied with lots og ice water.

I got hot and sweaty and was all too ready to clean up for the barbecue. After I showered I donned my robe and went to my room and put on the padded bra and panty brief, then my hose. I looked pretty good as is. Johnny had already left .

Momma knocked on my bedroom door, "Kelly?"[This is is a first, seeing if my daughter is decent. What a first, wonder what others there are in store for me?']

I looked up from where I was applying makeup, "Yes Momma?" [' I wonder what momma wants? Have we forgotten anything?']

"Are you decent?"[ Is she tucking away her boy bits? Damn! I don't need to think about things like that.']

Then I got up and opened the door and curtseyed to momma, " Why yes Momma, come in please."

Momma looked me over and smiled, "My Kelly, you look just like a teen girl getting ready for a party." [' Just like I did when dating you Stu, I am glad that I can think of you without tearing up my love.']

I closed the door behind her as she entered, Then I went over to my small wardrobe of girls clothes and held the closet door open, "Thanks Momma."What'cha wanna wear a skirt, or shorts." ['why am I acting like a model now?']

Momma pulled out a some red shorts and a blue lsleeveless top, "Shorts." [' we still need to get Kelly some winter clothes.']

As I slipped the shorts and top on over my padded bra and panty brief and hose, Mom sat on the bed, "Kelly, please romise me that you'll talk to me before you do anything stupid. Like oral sex with Johnny." ['I still can't believe that my son is so much a girl. LORD, pleese give me the Wisdom that I need.']

I hugged momma, "Momma, I'm going and I'll be myself. And no, don't worry, I won't do anything stupid." ['Well at least I will try, but I still want to hump Johnny. Please LORD, give me the strength to resist, or if I succumb, a way to deal with my passion.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "You did when you were with Johnny the last time, and you know it." ['I hate to remind her of her shortcomings, but she needs to be strong and resist her passions.']

then I smiled and hugged her, " OK momma, I promise you, I will be careful."

Then she led me to her room where she put my hair into a ponytail. She changed into her shorts and top after she did her makeup. We made a dish of potato salad and walked to the Woods Manor House. Johnny saw us, then came out, a smile on his face. Mom made the introductions, I nodded my head at Julie and she grabbed Johnny's elbow. The three of us walked to the pool, and I faced Johnny.

"Johnny, when I came up with momma, you looked at me like I was a piece of raw meat. Did you like what you see?"[Was I in danger from my best friend now?]

He stared at me. I stood there,ready to fight or run, depending on what he did. "Johnny. I think you two have a lot to talk about," Julie said as she left us. [' It's time for those two too finally talk about their feelings.']

I stood in front of Johny, legs spread with hands on hips, "Johnny, [sniff, sniff] I am still your best friend under all of this. [sniff, sniff] Ever since that Halloween, sniff, sniff] I have wanted to be a girl. [sniff, sniff] You know that I have been doing this for years. Oh Johnny, I can't help it! I have to wear dresses to feel complete, no matter the cost," I wept. There, I had bared my soul to him, it was now up to him. He looked up at me, and I saw a tear in his eye! He stood there as I reached out and wiped it away as i wiped mine. I said softly, "I need you to be my friend now, more than ever. But if you can't, I'll understand," I sighed.

Then he bear-hugged me with his fierce strength, "Oh Kelly,You look like the girl of my dreams! To me, you are a dream come true. Tell me this, how can I not be your friend?"[How can I NOT love you?]

"Dreams? Can it be true?" [My Dream Lover?]

Johnny smiled sheepishly, "Ever since you were Tinkerbell that Halloween, I have wanted Kelly girl and no other. You know that I do not date a girl more than once. Well, that's because they are not you. Will you reject me Kelly?" [GOD, I hope not]

I led him over to a bench under an apple tree, "Johnny about last night." [' This is gonna be hard for me, but I have to do it.']

"What about last night?"[Please GOD, I love her! Will she now reject me after what we did after the game?']

I led him to sit on the bench and sat by him, "You are the boy of my dreams Johnny. I never dreamed that this was possible, but ever since Tinkerbell and that doctor, you've been in my dreams." [' Was I fated to meet that doctor? Why he did what he did to me I will never really know.']

"Is that why you did it?"

"Did what?"

"Gave me oral sex."

"Yes, I thought that I was ready, but I am not. As much as I enjoyed it, now I know I was not ready for you," I sighed. ['Will I ever be ready for Johnny, or am I to meet another, or is Julie really the one for me?']

Then Johnny knelt before me, "Neither am I, but I still love you. Even now, I want to ravish you here you are." [I sound like such a heel, but Kelly is my girl.]

"As Kelly boy or Kelly girl?" [DAMN!! WHY DID I SAY THAT JUST NOW??!!]

Then Johnny stood straight up with disgust in his eyes, "Both, Neither. I don't know!"[ Sex with Kelly boy? NEVER!! Now I can't see it with Kelly girl.]

Then Johnny walked away from me. I had just turned him off of me it seemed. I wanted to rip my heart out for hurting him as I did. I loved him, but a part of me was scared of him too. Which part would win?

Then Julie came and sat by me. She hugged me to her as I wept bitter tears of regret. "I knew that you two needed to talk things out. I know things look bad now, but Johnny will be back in time." ['Poor Kelly and Johnny, they can't seem to do anything but hurt each other now.']

"I don't know Jules, he might not want me anymore, not after what just happened. And I wouldn't blame him either." [sniff, sniff]

"Why is that my sister?" ['What did she do to cause my brother to run to his room?']

"I asked him if he was in love with Kelly boy or Kelly girl." [sniff, sniff]

Then she slapped me, hard. "OW!" I rubbed my cheek where she slapped me.

"Kelly, that was dumb!! he loves you!! NOW he has to choose which he loves more" she cried as she began to weep. ['I gave Kelly up for Johnny, now she has lost him. Can she get him back, or is my brother to meet another?']

"But Julie, I want to be Kelly girl, [sniff, sniff] not Kelly boy."

Julie kissed the cheek that she slapped, "Then I'll go tell him."

"Thanks sis."

"Anytime sis."

Then we powdered our noses to cover up all evidence of the tiff, but it didn't work, "I see that you girls have been crying just now, I hope that you two worked things out between yourselves."

"MOMMA!!"

"Kelly, when Johnny came back crying, we knew that you had said something to upset him. And Julie would have taken up for her brother, so we knew that you two had a tiff."

"Yes momma."

"Besides, we heard Julie slap you," admitted Mrs. Woods.

"I didn't slap her THAT hard Momma!!"

"True Jules, but we were snooping after Johnny came back."

"Are you mad at me?"

Then Mrs. Woods hugged me close. "No dear child, You simply need to talk to Johnny later after Jules has given him your message."

"I'm going now."

Then Julie headed up to their house while we got the dinner ready. Momma and Mrs. Woods set out the plates and plastic-ware while I got out the chilled glasses and filled them with soda and placed the bottle of wine in the center of the table. It was only as we kids grew up that we got to have any spirits, we could get a sip or a taste. When we got into high school, we could have wine coolers at dinner, but only a small glass. This was different though. Tonight, we actually got a glass of wine to help celebrate Mister Woods opening of an annex to his Emporium, now he could sell those reconditioned appliances that were now as good as new in his store instead of out in the parking lot.

After the barbecue, Johnny and I stayed out, talking, just the two of us. "This is the only time. After this I'm done with it."

"Why Kelly? is it because of what you said tonight?"

"Yes Johnny, I love you and I want to marry you, but I am a boy, not a girl and I don't want to hurt you again."

"I love you too Kelly, to me, you are all the girl that I need."

We shared a kiss, Then our passion ignited again and I felt him stiffen. We embraced and we sated our passion once again. I took him once again in my mouth and tasted his musky sweetness as I drank in his climax.

"You might be a boy under that dress, but you are still my dream girl. How can I ever hurt you? How could I ever deny my love for you?"['Kelly is the only one that I have ever made love to.]

"How can you say that you love me? I am not woman?"[LORD, Why could I not have been born a woman?]

"I don't know, all that I know is that I do. Believe me Kelly, I am as confused as you are my best friend." [What can be done to relieve our heartache?]

"Oh Johnny, if only I were a woman for you, then everything would be different!!" Then I ran home and slammed the door with Mom close behind me. We had made love each other, but I was not a real girl. I had given myself to him twice now and now I am confused and empty.

Momma came and hugged me to her,"Come sit here with me. We need to talk."

I sat, then Momma smiled at me. "Johnny is a handsome young man and you're a pretty young lady, that happens to be his best friend and a boy. He is attracted to you, and you to him. Do you want to be a girl?"[I already know, but Kelly needs to give voice to her deep desire now, more than ever if she is to be helped in time.]

"Yes I do Momma, more than anything!! But how can I be a girl?"

[She never heard about how boys look like girls. All that she's done is play at being a girl al this time.] "Then it is time that you go and live with your Aunt Debbie. Time for my daughter to leave the nest and fly away now."

"Why Momma? I wanna stay with you."

"You need her help. You know how to dress as a girl, but when it comes to Johnny, you lose control. That's not the way to act as you have around Johnny. And you and Johnny need time way from each other."['It's hard for me to send you away, but I must to protect you from yourself.]

"I know, every time I am alone with him, I lose myself. If I were a girl, I would be pregnant. And truth to tell, I want to get pregnant, even though I know that I can't" [LORD, will I ever be whole?]

"Your Aunt Debbie will help you. Good thing I called her before the dinner tonight." [Knowing her, she's on her way right now.]

"Does she know about me?"

"Yes, and she wants to help you to be a woman too. I will miss you, but Debbie can help you better than I can and she has our parents there to help too."[Come to think of it, Kelly will enjoy herself since she loves Daddy's farm.]

"We need to tell Johnny. I will miss him most of all."[Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking.]

"We will as soon as Debbie arrives."[ Debbie, take care of my most precious rose.]

"Don't I need to pack?"

"No, I packed all of your clothes as well as my old uniforms. Debbie will have fun shopping you too."[One thing and for sure, Kelly will give her shopping gene a real workout.]

Then the bell rang. "Let's go see who that is."

I opened the door and I saw a tall, strong woman standing there wearing a red sun dress and sandals. "Hello Kelly, come to your Aunt Debbie." Then she hugged me to her as I wept and soaked her dress with my tears of joy."I hear that you like a certain boy."

"Yes Auntie, I sniffed.[Had Momma told her everything?]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Aunt Debbie Annette Moore is a tall lithe gray eyed brunette. She owns/operates a dress shop over in the valley. She loves to collect rare books. She has a library of books sold by the public library that she loans out while keeping her collection of first edition in her room. I have spent many a weekend in her library with the twins as we delved into the stories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you want to be a girl?"['Kelly is so like I was at his age.']

"Yes." [sniff] Yes, I do, but how can I be a girl? I was born a boy."

"There are two way, you can wear appliances that give you a woman's appearance or you can opt for surgery. In both, you can choose whether or not to use hormones to help you become a woman."

"Which should I choose Auntie?"

"I think that it's best to leave your options open, so I say choose appliances. You can always go with hormones and surgery later."

"Then I choose appliances. That way I can still be Kelly boy at times."

"Very well, I can teach you what you need to know about being a woman, but do not go into this lightly Kelly."['I must make sure that he is ready to be a girl.']

"Why Auntie?"

"You must forget about being a boy if you are to be a girl. Otherwise people will see you as a boy in a dress. Like they did me that Halloween night when I became who I am."['That is one nightmare I hope to keep from happening to you.']

"But they have seen me wearing a dress at Halloween Auntie and they never had a problem with it."'

"They saw Kelly, a boy in a dress, not a girl, like my friends did me. Besides, you have yet to live exclusively as Kelly girl. They can and will turn against you."['Like my FRIENDS did me!!']

"Oh."

Then the Woods came up. "Hello, I am Mister Charles Woods, This is my wife Andrea, daughter Julie and son Johnny. We're worried about Kelly."

"Come in Chuck, we have a lot to tell you." sobbed Momma. ['This is gonna be harder than I thought.']

Rushing over to Momma, Mrs. Woods hugged her close, "What's wrong my friend?"

"It's Kelly, come on to the kitchen where I have sodas ready."['It's going to be hard because they all love Kelly so much.']

Then Momma led us to the kitchen where we all sat down to a tall, cool glass of soda. "As you know, Kelly has been dressing as a girl every now and then. Now, Kelly and Johnny have fallen in love and Kelly is afraid of losing himself to Johnny as a girl."

Then Momma turned to Johnny."Johnny, I don't blame you, you are both responsible. I know that you love her and have had sex with Kelly.She needs to learn how to control herself or both of you can get hurt."['Like Debbie was.']

"I never wanted to hurt Kelly, but she is the girl of my dream."['I actually said that?']

"Then give her a chance to grow." ['I can see why Kelly loves him now.']

"Yes ma'am. Will she ever come back to me?"

"Is Kelly going away?" asked Julie. Why must Kelly leave me? I will miss my sister."

"Yes, I am taking Kelly with me so that she can learn how to be a lady."['Away from here, she can grow into the rose that my sister see in her.']

"But I have been teaching her all these years! Was I not good enough?"

"Be that as it may, I am going to teach her how to be herself and to be strong. You have indeed done a superb job, but Kelly now needs much more than you can teach her."['I truly wish that Kelly could stay, but leaving is unfortunately for the best.']

Then I went over to Johny, " I will miss you the most, but if I stay, I will lose myself in you," I wept as he held me to him.

"Then go my love with my blessings, he cried."He soaked my top with his tears as I drenched his with mine. But I needed to go or I would never learn to be strong.['How can I live without her, I want to know?!!']

"Come child, it is time to go."['This is the hardest part for you, letting go, but you must in order to grow.']

As we left, I saw everybody crying as we pulled away and left my former life behind. I slept on the way to Aunt Debbie's place. She had put on some orchestra music, then she played Bette Middler's The Rose and I awoke crying as it ended. " Yes my child, we are both "The Rose. "We have both been in our winter and now I will see that you blossom into your spring."

Kelly's Journey Chapter 11- Support & Kidnap By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Now that Kelly has moved in with her Aunt Debbie and her grandparents, she begins a new part of her journey as she learns more about being a woman and learning how more about herself. At the same time, her best friend Julie is kidnapped by Kelly's enemy.

---

* * *

"Thank you Auntie, Momma told me about you just before you arrived and how you were afraid of me. How could I ever want to hurt you? It didn't matter to me that you were a boy like I am right now, and it still doesn't. We've had so much fun whenever I visited you in the past. I need for you to know now that I am in your care that I have never hated you. How can I ever hate you?" ['Dear Lord, why is she afraid of me?']

She sighed as she released built up tension, "I admit that I was afraid of you, but when you started to dress more as a girl more this year, I saw myself in you and I grew afraid for you. I was deathly afraid that you'd be hurt like I was. That is why we have not been together since you started going to Ronzi's as Kelly girl for your friends. You see, I was afraid that my nightmares would return. I'm glad that never happened, if it had, I don't know if I could have lived with myself," she sighed as tears started to flow down her cheeks. [She is much stronger than I was back then, please LORD, let us help her.]

"When Momma said that you were afraid of me Auntie, I knew there had to be a reason, are you having nightmares now? I've had nightmares about Daddy's death when not wearing girl's clothes." Well, Julie, or Johnny's." ['Lord, just how much alike are we?']

She wiped her eyes with a towelette, "Yes, I heard about that, Too bad that it's not that easy for me. Mine goes back to a Halloween Party where I was attacked by the monster, Linden Avery and his followers. Back then, I was a boy, their attack cost me my maleness, so I became Debbie."

"And those nightmares? Are you still having any?"

"No, I'm not. And I won't have them anymore. I told her that because I couldn't face you. Until now, I never knew that I had this strength in me. You see, I was afraid that being around you would bring them back." ['Thanks for believing in me Dad. You knew that I could face my fears.']

* * *

I was silent for a moment, as I pondered what she said. She had been changed by a Halloween Party, as I had been. But according to her, Grandpa Joe had been instrumental in her recovery, NOT Daddy, as I knew from before. Could she have transferred Daddy's help and Love to her daddy? Did she block what Daddy had done because he was dead, and needed someone alive as her Knight?

What was her relationship with Grandpa? Was she his Princess? Did he ever seduce her? Did she ever seduce him? I hated where my thoughts were leading me, but what with my inability to control my passions with Johnny, I was wondering if she too was as weak as I was. And if so, how could my being with her help me? I could ever so easily become like her, seduced by Grandpa. So, I had to find out.

* * *

I took a sip of my soda, "Aunt Debbie, we are much alike, right?" ['Lord, most times, this would be a prank, but it's NOT! And I'd NEVER prank about this.']

"Indeed we are, Kelly. Why do you ask?"['No doubt about it, it'll be about me and my parents.']

"Forgive me if I sound mean, but, are you having sex with Grandpa?"

She pulled over into the emergency lane as she started to howl in laughter. When she was through, she again, wiped away her tears with a towelette, "Oh, Kelly. You have THAT all wrong, child! Daddy and I are not engaging in sex with each other. Nor were Stu and I," she smiled at me. ['MY GOD! She must be thinking about her and Johnny!']

"Then why am I here Aunt Debbie? What changed?" ['LORD, I don't wanna be a burden to my auntie!!']

"Your Mother told me about you and Johnny and I had to come and get you before you two hurt each other as I was hurt, If not for Daddy, I'd have died back then, but he gave me the will to live when my life as a boy was taken away from me." she sighed as she remembered what happened to her that turned her into Debbie. [Thanks for being there Daddy, NOW I hope that you can be there for Kelly.]

"Auntie, what about Daddy, did he not help you too?"

Then the truth hit her, and she began to cry over forgetting about Daddy, "Oh, Kelly! I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me for forgetting what your father Stu did for me?"

I placed my hand on her knee, "Yes, Auntie, I forgive you. You simply made it Grandpa because you needed a living hero."

"Well, I guess that in one way, that you are stronger than I am," she sighed.

I shook my head, "No, Auntie. When Daddy died, I had to start wearing Julie's or Johnny's clothes to stop my nightmares, and that led to this. You grew up WITH Daddy. Did he help you with your's?"

"Yes, by wearing his, Terri's, our parent's clothes, I stopped the nightmares. And when I became Daddy's other Princess, they ended all together, except for a few when I was sick."

"Then we ARE very much alike! We are Special Sisters. Right Auntie?"

"Yes, we are, along with others who have gone through what we have to become, or becoming a woman."

"Oh, you mean like those in those stories?"

"Yes. Remember that there are many different girls like us. Some just wear dresses, while others transition to varying degrees."

"That's a lot to learn, isn't it?"

"Yes, you need to teach about us women, which I will teach you and other things as well."

"And I will learn from you now? What will I be learning? I know that Grandpa will be teaching me all about the farm, and Granny all about being a farmer's wife. 'Hopefully I can be a cheerleader up here, but that depends upon whether or not they let me. 'Maybe I should leave sports alone, though," I sighed. ['LORD, right now, I don't know what to do. I leave it al in your hands.']

"Yes, from me, you will learn to develop your inner strengths as I teach you the fine arts of being a Lady by taking you to a charm school and learning domestic skills with your Granny. Kelly, just wait until Granny gets a hold of you, she will teach you what I can't. This will be an experience for all of us," she giggled. ['Just wait, Kelly, there's a special welcoming committee waiting for you, our prank on you.']

"Domestic? What do you mean by domestic? I don't want to be some guy's maid wearing that skimpy uniform! I mean, I may enjoy wearing hose, and showing off my legs, but I'm not THAT type, Auntie," I huffed. [' Am I being a drama queen?']

"Yes, domestic, and no, you will never be a maid. You're way too smart for that. You will be what you choose to be. DAMN! Been listening to that U.S.Army commercial too much," she giggled.

"Good, then what are you talking about? Recruiting for Uncle Sam? I remember seeing those Army commercials, think their pretty snazzy too, but then again, most of the guys at school are pro-military ever since 9/11." ['Lord, I cried that day. For on that day, America lost her innocence.']

* * *

Then a Tri-County Constable' Cruiser pulled in behind us. I saw Aunt Debbie blush as he approached, "Morning, Debbie. Is that Kelly over there by you?"

"Yes, it is, Gus. Why?"

"Well, Daddy loves Terri, and Kelly as family. When I saw you pulled over, I wanted to see if you needed any help."

"Sir? Who is your daddy?"

"Sorry, Kelly. Daddy is Constable Sebastian."

"Oh, OK. He and Daddy were friends."

"I know, that's why he looks out for you guys."

"Please tell him thanks."

"I will, but why are you two here?"

"Kelly here asked me something that made me laugh, so I had to pull over, Gus."

Does it have to do with Kelly dressing as a girl, now?"

"Yes, it does, Sir. Am I in trouble?"

"Neah! We've head about you at Ronzi's, we figured that sooner, or later that would become an issue."

"Thanks for understanding."

He smirked, "Why shouldn't I? I am dating Debbie."

Then, after saying 'Good Bye,' he left, and we started back on our journey.

* * *

Now, I had a lot to think about. Aunt Debbie had a boyfriend, why not marry him? Constable Sebastian liked her, no doubt. And he was Daddy's friend, too. Did they know about Debbie, like they did me? I wasn't sure, so I decided to ask, but she beat me to it.

"You're wondering if they know about me, right, Kelly?"

"Yes, Auntie. He seems to be a nice guy. Why haven't you married him, yet?"

"Because I am afraid to hurt him," she sighed.

"I don't understand."

"He and his father love me, and think that I'd be a good wife for Gus, but he is touted to be the next Constable, and there are too many bigots that would crucify him if they found out about me or you now, for that matter."

"Are you talking about that defrocked preacher?"

"Yes, I am. He has a church just outside of Constable Sebastian's jurisdiction, and the sheriff over there will not grant him the right to cross the county line to capture linden."

"Is he still preaching?"

"Yes, he found a very rich widow who bequeathed her fortune to him on the stipulation that he form a church, and a school."

I began to ponder what she said, and came to a conclusion, "She was duped, because I can't see how she could basically give him carte blanche over her estate."

Auntie smiled, "Very perceptive of you, he was acting like he cared about others, and actually helped a few charities out, too. But those same charities sided with him after her death."

"Was one of them a fund to help the families of retired, slam sheriffs?"

"Yes, are you sure that you don't know?" she giggled.

"No, Auntie. I am going by what you said about the sheriff."

"Well, you are right! When that happened, there was an influx of ex-sheriffs into the Tri-County area."

"Which was gratefully accepted because we needed extra Policemen and Constables because of the cities expansion?"

"Not only sheriff's but also firemen paramedics and practically the entire county work force. They did not like being told what to believe as a part of their employment."

The implications of what she said hit me like a brick, "WOW!! No wonder Vale County has been in such dire straits! They don't have the workforce to handle the needs of the country! Am I ever glad that I live here, Auntie," I sighed. ['Lord, this is all due to his evil. When will it be over?']

"I am to, Kelly. But with you moving in, Momma will be teaching you what she taught me."

"Well, Auntie, I already knows how to cook, sew, and do repairs to the house, and car. What will Granny show me?"

"Think of what all it takes to keep a farm house clean and you'll know what skills you need to learn. Me, I think that you'll have fun learning how to can and preserve as well as sewing, knitting and crocheting from Granny." And will make you self reliant too. And no, not recruiting for the military, she giggled. ['Glad to see her sense of humor is back, she'll be needing it all too soon unless I'm mistaken.']

"What about Grandpa? I want to learn from him too. He reminds me of my daddy so much that it'll be like he's alive again in a way." ['Daddy, just how much of Grandpa is in you?']

"Oh, he'll teach you all about farming;" [giggle]" All types since we have a bit everything here on this farm. Even ways to handle our waste. I am so proud of Daddy for getting involved with green technology."

"You mean to tell me that he went green? I'd NEVER have thought that he'd do it. Did you have something to do with it?"

She blushed, "Yes, I did."

"OK, out with it!"

"Well, we went to the County Fair, one year, and there was a green technology exhibition. Daddy was impressed, but wouldn't get it until I proved to him that it would pay for itself with the savings we would make using it."

"Sounds as if Grandpa has something more than farming to teach me, now. But I still can't see him wearing a lab coat, or overseeing some high tech equipment," I giggled.

"Well, the green technology is very simple, just as he likes it. He even has some stills for making fuel, and a way to harness the methane from manure."

"Oh my! Grandpa sure has adapted to modern life, Auntie."

"Oh, yes, and he can teach you like he did me about using burlap, even as clothing," she giggled.

"Taught you? I thought that Granny taught you." ['Uh oh! I am thinking like those bigots, gotta stop that.']

"Yep, your momma and daddy too. And I loved learning it too. Going to the county fair will be quite an experience for you." ['Kelly will have a blast seeing all of those exhibits with her sense of wonder.']

Then I thought about the fact that we were both single. Was she a virgin like I was? No sex with opposite sex? "Why haven't you ever married Auntie? You are so pretty that I'm sure that Gus would have already married you."

[The little imp, she knows how to get me talking and she doesn't realize it yet.] "Oh I have Gus, you saw that he likes me, but there is another guy, Danny. He is waiting to get his own farm before I become his partner," she giggled.

"Why not as his wife, surely you're more than worth it to him. Is he gay? What about Gus" ['There I go again, judging others.']

[Just like her Mother.]"He wants to court me properly and in his eyes, that means we see if we can stand each other before we tie the knot. And he knows that I know a lot about farming. As for Gus, I just now found out that he likes me." ['Lord, he is MY Johnny. But do I choose Gus over Lonnie?']

"Does he know about your uh, secret?" The fact that you used to be Brian?" ['I wonder if the fact that Johnny knows about me is a cause to worry.']

"Yes, he knew me when I was a boy. After we dated for awhile and got to know each other, we found that we loved each other after I became Debbie." [' So much like Poppa, no wonder I love him so.']

"He sounds very wise I hope that you can choose one, and be happily married one day." ['Will I ever marry Johnny?']

"To me too Kelly, me too. And I know that he will marry me, of that I have no doubt. But I must choose, THAT is my dilemma."[Waiting for him is hard too, but he is worth it.]

Then I noticed that her stereo had been playing love songs," Auntie?"

"Yes Kelly?" [No doubt she'll inquire about the music.]

"Why are you playing love songs? Not that I mind. I love singing them, thinking their about me and Johnny."

"Because you need to listen to them. You are in love with Johnny and listening will help." ['She is such a babe in the woods about love.']

"Help me? How will they help?"

"They help me to be away from my beloved Danny, I hope that they help you too." ['I won't tell her that they contain a hidden message of hope.']

They did, listening to them eased my heart so that I was not pining away for Johnny as I was at first. I still missed him, but I was in control of my emotions. Best of all, I was at peace about moving away and leaving Momma.']

* * *

Let me tell you about the farm. It is one hundred acres of field, or orchards hemmed in by a very stout brick wall a meter wide who's purpose is to house the needed equipment within lockers including search lamps and a first aid kit incase of an emergency. Each field has its very own barn and silo where the tractors are kept with the upper level dedicated to apartments for any workers. The exceptions are the fields dedicated to livestock, in those, the barn is used to house the feed for the animals while the workers live in a farmhouse.

Each barn and house has been made eco-friendly with green technology appliances, solar panels, and windmills. The barns housing the distillery, and methane harvesting equipment is located back towards the rear of the farm with fire fighting equipment, nearby. All employees are trained in operating the equipment on the farm, earning them certificates as paramedics and lab assistants to the Larry Lincoln, a young black man who lives on the farm with his family. He graduated from college, but found that he loved farming, and his wife teaches in the elementary school.

* * *

As we were approaching the farm, I saw the fields of grass and produce and varied barns. There was a stout brick fence encircling the farm with an open gutter filled with water from the recent rain flowing in it.

hen we turned onto the driveway and went under the gateway arch where MOORE 'S FARM was emblazoned in wood. I was eagerly anticipating seeing my grandparents and I was not let down either.

By that time, we pulled into her garage where we were met by Granny and Grandpa. They both were smiling big time and Granny had a pie resting on a shelf near by. I jumped out of the car as Auntie killed the ignition and ran into their out stretched arms. "Grandma, Grandpa, it's so wonderful to see you again."

"Kelly child, I never thought that I'd see you looking so pretty. I guess that I gotta teach you about being a farmer's wife now." I heard Granny giggle. "And you will be a true Southern Belle too thanks to Debbie teaching you manners and my Joe teaching you farming." [Sweet child, so innocent and still pure, we got her in time.]

* * *

Grandpa Joe Carter Moore is a gray haired version of my Daddy. He grows a bit of everything upon his farm. With those greenhouses of his. And sells his produce to Mister Woods for his stores and restaurants. He also raises cattle, pigs and poultry. His farm is the largest privately owned farm in the state thanks to Mister Woods helping him to incorporate.

Granny Lizzie Jane Moore is gray haired version of my Momma. She loves canning, preserving using Grandpa's produce. She has won many an award at the county fair for her entries in cooking, quilts and bedspreads from sewing, knitting and crocheting that are keepsakes that she either give a presents or sells or gives the proceeds to the church.

* * *

Then Grandpa came and hugged me to him, "And I get to teach you all about farming now too, my way of farming, not the impersonal way of big business either." I heard Grandpa chortle. [Oh Kelly my grandson turned granddaughter, I hope that you'll find yourself with us now that you're here.]

"So, you know about me wanting to be a girl?" I sobbed into their shoulders. [Would they turn me away after I got here?]

Then Granny held my chin in her hand, "Yes child, we know about you wanting to be a girl that is why you're Grandpa, Debbie and I agreed to help you when your Momma called us. We are all here for you when you need us."[Sweet child, who could ever harm this beautiful rose. Any that does will feel my wrath!!!]

"Thanks Granny, for a second, I thought that you guys might send me away. Now I can forget that nightmare, cant me?" [' LORD, thank you for giving such loving grandparents.']

Then Grandpa took me by my shoulders and looked right into my eyes. I could see a depth of wisdom and a deep anger that was a terror to arouse, "Kelly, you are our precious grandchild. You can never do a damned thing to stop us from loving you. And now that you are here with us, we will never send you away. Only YOU will decide when or if that happens."['I must make Kelly understand that we will never abandon her. We never abandoned Debbie and now we will be there for Kelly too.']

Then I hugged them closer in a warm embrace as I wept tears of joy, "Thanks for loving me so much. I have been afraid of rejection ever since I hurt my Johnny. I should have never doubted you, none of you." ['LORD, why do I deserve such a loving family?']

"That's alright child, you were worried, now no more fretting about being here." I heard Grandma giggle. ['I can see that Kelly here still fears rejection. It's up to us to calm her fears now that she's here.']

"Besides that, your Granny has a pie just a waiting for us to eat, it's cooling over there for us. Now let's get inside and eat it with some ice cream and soda." Grandpa chuckled. ['I know that Kelly loves Lizzie's pies, that scamp couldn't get enough when she was a child.']

Then we all went inside to sit down to eat the pie ala mode and soda. I felt so much warmth and love from them that I forgot about my problems and became their granddaughter in my heart of hearts. After we had eaten the pie and cleaned the dishes, we up to bed where I found that they had prepared for me.

* * *

Let me tell you about the farmhouse. It is a two story brick house with a full attic and basement with all of the comforts of modern life mixed in with farm life. And no, it doesn't look a bit like the house in the painting AMERICAN GOTHIC.

The basement is filled with jars of: jelly, jam, preserves, and canned produce stored on sturdy wooden shelves built by Grandpa up under the front. Under the shelves are tin canisters of rice, beans, and other dry goods.

Then once out from the food storage rooms, there are the walk-in freezers filled with the haunches of beef, deer, pig and mutton as well as those of chicken, duck and geese. Next to them are the refrigerators filled with dairy, eggs, and baked goods.

Toward the back is the storage rooms for the quilts, comforters, and bedspreads that Granny makes as well as her sewing machine and a T.V. set so that she can watch her favorite shows. And behind Granny's rooms are tee stairs going up both sides of the house.

Then next to the stairs on the bottom floor is the back porch, then the kitchen on the right and utility room on the left. The kitchen has all of the modern conveniences with the stove on the back wall; sink under the window and refrigerator-freezer up front with trash compactor next to the stove and dishwasher next to the sink, by the stove. All around the kitchen are cabinets filled with varied appliances.

The utility room contains the washer, dryer, and lawn maintenance equipment as well as a shower and side door for the lawnmower with an easy access ramp so that Grandpa can roll the haunches in and lower them on the dumbwaiter next to the outside door.

Next to the kitchen is the living room filled with lounge chairs with a table on either side, fireplace on outside wall and entertainment center up front, under the window. The dining room is next to the utility room and has Granny's cherry wood dining room set in it with a mixture of china, cutlery, and glassware from Granny buying replacements to replace whatever got broke.

The upper floor contains Aunt Debbie's room over the kitchen, Momma's room over the utility room, Daddy's room over the dining room and the master bedroom over the living room. The bathrooms are on both sides of the stairs.

The attic is chock full of trunks filled with everybody's winter or summer clothes depending on the season, as well as trophies and knick knacks. Best of all, it is set up as a studio apartment with the trunks stacked next to bathrooms which are next to the stairs.

* * *

"Come over here Kelly and see your bedroom, said Grandpa. It was a real girl's bedroom with a canopy bed, and matching furniture. I saw a bookshelf filled with my favorite books and a computer ready for my use.

"WOW! Thanks guys! This room looks like my room back home. How did you do it?" ['They even have my favorite posters up.']

"When your Grandma and I heard that you needed a place to stay, we redecorated your momma's old room to look like your room back home," he chuckled. "We wanted for you to have a connection with your Mother, so we bought copies of your things and a new wardrobe too when we saw that you were going to need us when school started." [' I can tell that she likes the room from the way she is touching everything.']

Then I had an awful thought, "But what about my momma, where will she stay when she visits us?" ['Sorry Momma for taking your old room from you.']

Then Granny cupped my chin in her hand, "Child, don't you fret none, we have the guest room which used to be your dad's room here. Silly girl, you can be so forgetful at times," Granny giggled. ['Terri will love knowing that we gave Kelly her room.']

Then I began to weep, "Thanks Grandpa and Grandma, [sniff, sniff] I am sorry to be putting you two through so much trouble." [Sniff, sniff"I promise to not cause you any trouble." ['LORD. Please help me to be good for them.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "You are no trouble at all Kelly, This is your home too."['So innocent and trusting, she maybe nearly an adult, but she is still so child like in her need for love.']

"Thanks Auntie. It's nice to have such a family and home." ['Oh momma, one day, I'll be coming back to you.']

Then I gave them all a hug and went into MY bedroom where I found that they had laid out me a sleep shirt along with lingerie and hose. I scooped them up and went into my bathroom and got ready for bed. After my shower, I donned my hose, then lingerie then my night shirt which went to mid thigh on me, then I went into my bedroom and they came in to tuck me in.

* * *

I learned later what Grandpa was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly has become such a sweet young lady that it is impossible to see any boy in her. She is following the path that Debbie went on. Now I hope to prevent Kelly from being hurt like Debbie was when she was attacked. I should have been there for her, but I foolishly stopped for a chat with Charlie about business. We've regretted that night for years and now I can redeem myself through Kelly.']

* * *

The next day, Aunt Debbie took me to her store. It was full of all sorts of clothing in all sots of styles and sizes. Towards the back are the appliances to aid a woman who needs help to be a woman by giving her enhancements.

When I saw the varied equipment, I got nervous, "Aunt Debbie, can you actually give me breasts?"

"Yes I can Kelly, please take off your top and bra when we get to my office." ['I bet this is the first time for Kelly to be fitted.']

"Why?"

"I need to take your measurements so that I can fit you for your breast forms." ['Oh my, this will be fun.']

Then I took off my top and sports bra that was filled with rolled up socks. Aunt Debbie measured me and then went over to a mixer where she began pouring in varied chemicals, then she turned it on and the mixer began to mix.

"Kelly, I am mixing up the special plastic that will be your breast forms. Once attached to your chest, they will feel and act like real breasts." ['Wish that I had this when I was transitioning.']

"Oh? Is that stuff some sort of artificial skin?"

"In a way, it's a bio plastic that actually bonds with the skin and transfers sensation. You can wear them for a month, the you need to let your skin breathe for a day before reapplying."

"Gee, it'll be great to actually have breasts, but what about my groin?"

"I'll be making a gaffe from the same stuff; the gaffe will act like a vagina, so you'll have to sit to pee."

"OK, but what about having a period like genetic women?"

"That's taken care of too."

Then she poured the goop into a set three forms, and then she broke the larger ones to reveal breasts. She took them and dipped them in warm water. Then she led me to a bedroom.

"OK Kelly please lay on the bed so that I can attach the forms."

I got on the bed on my back, and then she returned with the forms and placed them on my chest. I could feel them bond to me and take on my skin tone. I tried to get up, but she pushed me back down.

"They need to set for thirty minutes, and then I will put the gaffe on you."

"Thanks Auntie, I can never repay you for your kindness."

"Tut, tut, there girlfriend, you're my niece. In helping you, I am repaying my parents."

"Then I hope that I get a chance to help another girl like us so that I can repay you for your gift one day."

"That's he spirit," then she glanced at the clock on the wall, then left. When she returned, she had a flesh-tone panty in her hands.

"Is that my vagina?' I giggled.

"Yep, now please strip o that I can get you ready."

"What are you gonna do to me?"

Then she pointed to a pair of straps on the beds posts, "I need to tuck your boy bits up and make them look like you are a girl. Then you can put on the gaffe."

So I stripped and put my feet in the straps. Aunt Debbie then manipulated my boy bits and then tapped me on the shoulder, "OK, Kelly, you look like a girl now. You can get up and look in the mirror."

I did as she said and when I saw my reflection, all that I saw was a naked young woman. There was no hint of boy about me. I touched my new beasts and vagina, and then I fainted.

* * *

During this time, that defrocked preacher showed his ugly head and caused some mischief when he saw Julie at cheer practice. The practice was over and Julie was getting ready to leave.

"Hello there, are you Julie Woods?"

"Yes I am, who are you?"

"I am a Man Of God, and I am here because I am worried about you."

"Why? Because I am a cheerleader and bounce around?"

"No child, it's because you are friends with Kelly Lee Moore."

Then Julie exclaimed, YOU'RE THAT DEFROCKED PREACHER THAT HATES EVERYBODY!!" Then she started to run away, but he caught her. Then Julie succeeded in flipping him and getting away only to be gassed by a couple of his goons.

"Sir? What do we do with her now?"

"We take her and use her to get that abomination Kelly."

"So, we do nothing to her?"

"I will not have her harmed! If she is hurt in any way, I will personally castrate her attacker!"

Then they carried the unconscious Julie to their van and sped away, leaving a note behind.

* * *

Kelly's Journey Chapter 9: Support & Kidnap By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Now that Kelly has moved in with her Aunt Debbie and her grandparents, she begins a new part of her journey as she learns more about being a woman and learning how more about herself.

---

"Thank you Auntie, Momma told me about you just before you arrived and how you were afraid of me. How could I ever want to hurt you? It didn't matter to me that you were a boy like I am right now, and it still doesn't. We've had so much fun whenever I visited you in the past. I need for you to know now that I am in your care that I have never hated you." [How can I ever hate her?]

"I admit that I was afraid of you, but when you started to dress more as a girl more this year, I saw myself in you and I grew afraid for you. I was deathly afraid that you'd be hurt like I was. That is why we have not been together since you started going to Ronzi's as Kelly girl for your friends. You see, I was afraid that my nightmares would return. I'm glad that never happened, if it had, I don't know if I could have lived with myself," she sighed. [She is much stronger than I was back then, please LORD, let us help her.]

"When Momma said that you were afraid of me Auntie, I knew there had to be a reason, are you having nightmares now?"

"No, I'm not. And I won't have them anymore. I told her that because I couldn't face you. Until now, I never knew that I had this strength in me."[Thanks for believing in me Dad. You knew that I could face my fears.]

"Then why am I here Aunt Debbie? What changed?"[' LORD, I don't wanna be a burden to my auntie!!']

"Your Mother told me about you and Johnny and I had to come and get you before you two hurt each other as I was hurt, If not for my Daddy, I'd have died back then, but he gave me the will to live when my life as a boy was taken away from me." she sighed as she remembered what happened to her that turned her into Debbie. [Thanks for being there Daddy, NOW I hope that you can be there for Kelly.]

"And I will learn from you now? What will I be learning? I know that grandpa will be teaching me all about the farm and granny all about being a farmer's wife." ['Hopefully I can be a cheerleader up here, but that depends upon whether or not Aunt Debbie let's me.']

"Yes, from me, you will learn to develop your inner strengths as I teach you the fine art of being a Lady by taking you to a charm school and learning domestic skills with your Granny. Kelly, just wait until Granny gets a hold of you, she will teach you what I can't." {This will be an experience for all of us.]

"Domestic? What do you mean by domestic? I don't want to be some guy's maid wearing that skimpy uniform." [' Am I being a drama queen?']

"Yes, domestic, and no, you will never be a maid. You're way too smart for that. You will be what you choose to be. DAMN! I've been listening to that U.S. Army commercial too much," she giggled.

"Good, then what are you talking about? Recruiting for Uncle Sam?" [' I remember seeing those Army commercials. I think their pretty snazzy too, but then again, most of the guys at school are pro-military ever since 9/11.']

"Think of what all it takes to keep a farm house clean and you'll know what skills you need to learn. Me, I think that you'll have fun learning how to can and preserve as well as sewing, knitting and crocheting from Granny." And will make you self reliant too. And no, not recruiting for the military, she giggled. ['Glad to see her sense of humor is back, she'll be needing it all too soon unless I'm mistaken.']

"What about Grandpa? I want to learn from him too." ['He reminds me of my daddy so much that it'll be like he's alive again in a way.']

"Oh, he'll teach you all about farming." [giggle]" All types since we have a bit everything here on this farm. Even the ways we handle our waste." [' I am so proud of daddy for getting involved with green technology.']

"You mean to tell me that he taught you? I thought that Granny taught you." ['Uh oh! I am thinking like those bigots, gotta stop that.']

"Yep, your momma and daddy too. And I loved learning it too. Going to the county fair will be quite an experience for you." [' Kelly will have a blast seeing all of those exhibits with her sense of wonder.']

Then I thought about the fact that we were both single. Was she a virgin like I was? No sex with opposite sex? "Why haven't you ever married Auntie? You are so pretty that I'm sure that some guy would have already married you."

[The little imp, she knows how to get me talking and she doesn't realize it yet.] "Oh I have a guy that likes me, but he is waiting to get his own farm before I become his partner," she giggled.

"Why not as his wife, surely you're more than worth it to him. Is he gay?" ['There I go again, judging others.']

[Just like her Mother.]"He wants to court me properly and in his eyes, that means we see if we can stand each other before we tie the knot. And he knows that I know a lot about farming." ['Kelly, he is my Johnny.']

"Does he know about your uh, secret? "And the fact that you used to be Brian?" ['I wonder if the fact that Johnny knows about me is a cause to worry.']

"Yes, he knew me when I was a boy. After we dated for awhile and got to know each other, we found that we loved each other after I became Debbie." ['He's so much like Poppa, no wonder I love him so.']

"He sounds very wise I hope that you two are happily married one day." ['Will I ever marry Johnny?']

"To me too Kelly, me too. And I know that he will marry me, of that I have no doubt."[Waiting for him is hard too, but he is worth it.]

Then I noticed that her stereo had been playing love songs," Auntie?"

"Yes Kelly?" [No doubt she'll inquire about the music.]

"Why are you playing love songs? Not that I mind. I love singing them, thinking their about me and Johnny."

"It's because you need to listen to them. You are in love with Johnny and listening will help." ['She is such a babe in the woods about love.']

"Help me? How will they help?"

"They help me to be away from my beloved Danny, I hope that they help you too." ['I won't tell her that they contain a hidden message of hope.']

They did, listening to them eased my heart so that I was not pining away for Johnny as I was at first. I still missed him, but I was in control of my emotions. Best of all, I was at peace about moving away and leaving momma.']

While we were approaching the farm, I saw the fields of grass and produce and varied barns. There was a stout brick fence encircling the farm with an open gutter filled with water from the recent rain flowing in it.

Then we turned onto the driveway and went under the gateway arch where MOORE'S FARM was emblazoned in wood. I was eagerly anticipating seeing my grandparents and I was not let down either.

By that time, we pulled into her garage where we were met by Granny and Grandpa. They both were smiling big time and Granny had a pie resting on a shelf near by. I jumped out of the car as Auntie killed the ignition and ran into their out stretched arms. "Grandma, Grandpa, it's so wonderful to see you again."

~~~~~~~~~

Grandpa Joe Carter Moore is a gray haired version of my Daddy. He grows a bit of everything upon his farm with those greenhouses of his. Then he sells his produce to Mister Woods for his stores and restaurants. He also raises cattle, pigs and poultry. His farm is the largest privately owned farm in the state thanks to Mister Woods helping him to incorporate.

Granny Lizzie Jane Moore is gray haired version of my Momma. She loves canning, preserving using Grandpa's produce. She has won many an award at the county fair for her entries in cooking, quilts and bedspreads from sewing, knitting and crocheting that are keepsakes that she either gives as presents or sells and gives the proceeds to the church.

~~~~~~~~~

As Aunt Debbie parked her jeep, I jumped out and ran to my Grandma who hugged me, "Kelly child, I never thought that I'd see you looking so pretty. I guess that I gotta teach you about being a farmer's wife now." I heard Granny giggle. " And you will be a true Southern Belle too thanks to Debbie teaching you manners and my Joe teaching you farming." [Sweet child, so innocent and still pure, we got her in time.]

Then Grandpa came and hugged me to him, "And I get to teach you all about farming now too, my way of farming, not the impersonal way of big business either." I heard Grandpa chortle. [Oh Kelly my grandson turned granddaughter, I hope that you'll find yourself with us now that you're here.]

"So, you know about me wanting to be a girl?" I sobbed into their shoulders. [Would they turn me away after I got here?]

Then Granny held my chin in her hand, "Yes child, we know about you wanting to be a girl, that is why your Grandpa, Debbie and I agreed to help you when your Momma called us. We are all here for you when you need us."[Such a sweet child. Who could ever harm this beautiful rose. Any that do will feel my wrath!!!]

"Thanks Granny, for a second, I thought that you guys might send me away. Now I can forget that nightmare, cant I?" ['LORD thank you for giving me such loving grandparents.']

Then Grandpa took me by my shoulders and looked right into my eyes. I could see a depth of wisdom and a deep anger that was a terror to arouse, "Kelly, you are our precious grandchild. You can never do a damned thing to stop us from loving you. And now that you are here with us, we will never send you away. Only YOU will decide when or if that happens."['I must make Kelly understand that we will never abandon her. We never abandoned Debbie and now we will be there for Kelly too.']

Then I hugged them closer and closer in a warm embrace as I wept tears of joy, "Thanks for loving me so much. I have been afraid of rejection ever since I hurt my Johnny. I should have never doubted you, none of you." ['LORD, Why do I deserve such a loving family?']

"That's alright child, you were worried, now no more fretting about being here." I heard Grandma giggle. ['I can see that Kelly here still fears rejection. It's up to us to calm her fears now that she's here.']

"Besides that, your Granny has a pie just a waiting for us to eat, it's cooling over there for us. Now let's get inside and eat it with some ice cream and soda." Grandpa chuckled. ['I know that Kelly loves Lizzie's pies, that scamp couldn't get enough when she was a child.']

Then we all went inside to sit down to eat the pie ala mode and soda. I felt so much warmth and love from them that I forgot about my problems and became their granddaughter in my heart of hearts. After we had eaten the pie and cleaned the dishes, we up to bed where I found that they had prepared for me.

~~~~~~~~~

Let me tell you about the farmhouse. It is a two story brick house with a full attic and basement with all of the comforts of modern life mixed in with farm life. And no, it doesn't look a bit like the house in the painting AMERICAN GOTHIC.

The basement is filled with jars of: jelly, jam, preserves, and canned produce stored on sturdy wooden shelves built by Grandpa up under the front. Under the shelves are tin canisters of rice, beans, and other dry goods.

Then once out from the food storage rooms, there are the walk-in freezers filled with the haunches of beef, deer, pig and mutton as well as those of chicken, duck and geese. Next to them are the refrigerators filled with dairy, eggs, and baked goods.

Toward the back are the storage rooms for the quilts, comforters, and bedspreads that Granny makes, as well as her sewing machine and a T.V. set so that she can watch her favorite shows. And behind Granny's rooms are the stairs going up both sides of the house.

Then next to the stairs on the bottom floor is the back porch, then the kitchen on the right and utility room on the left. The kitchen has all of the modern conveniences with the stove on the back wall, sink under the window and refrigerator-freezer up front with trash compactor next to the stove and dishwasher next to the sink, by the stove. All around the kitchen are cabinets filled with varied appliances.

The utility room contains the washer, dryer, and lawn maintenance equipment as well as a shower and side door for the lawnmower with an easy access ramp so that Grandpa can roll the haunches in and lower them on the dumbwaiter next to the outside door.

Next to the kitchen is the living room filled with lounge chairs with a table on either side, fireplace on outside wall and entertainment center up front, under the window. The dining room is

next to the utility room and has Granny's cherry wood dining room set in it with a mixture of china, cutlery, and glassware from Granny buying replacements to replace whatever got broke.

The upper floor contains Aunt Debbie's room over the kitchen, momma's room over the utility room, daddy's room over the dining room and the master bedroom over the living room. The bathrooms are on both sides of the stairs.

The attic is chock full of trunks filled with everybody's winter or summer clothes depending on the season s well as trophies and knick knacks. Best of all, it is set up as a studio apartment with the trunks stacked next to bathrooms which are next to the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~

"Come over here Kelly and see your bedroom, said Grandpa. It was a real girl's bedroom with a canopy bed, and matching furniture. I saw a bookshelf filled with my favorite books and a computer ready for my use.

"WOW! Thanks guys! This room looks like my room back home. How did you do it?" ['They even have my favorite posters up.']

"When your Grandma and I heard that you needed a place to stay, we redecorated your momma's old room to look like your room back home," he chuckled. "We wanted for you to have a connection with your Mother, so we bought copies of your things and a new wardrobe too when we saw that you were going to need us when school started." [' I can tell that she likes the room from the way she is touching everything.']

Then I had an awful thought, "But what about my momma, where will she stay when she visits us?" ['Sorry momma for taking your old room from you.']

Then Granny cupped my chin in her hand, "Child, don't you fret none, we have the guest room which used to be your dad's room here. Silly girl, you can be so forgetful at times," Granny giggled. ['Terri will love knowing that we gave Kelly her room.']

Then I began to weep, "Thanks Grandpa and Grandma, [sniff, sniff] I am sorry to be putting you two through so much trouble." [Sniff, sniff] "I promise to not cause you any trouble." ['LORD. Please help me to be good for them.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "You are no trouble at all Kelly, This is your home too."['So innocent and trusting, she maybe nearly an adult, but she is still so child like in her need for love.']

"Thanks Auntie. It's nice to have such a family and home." ['Oh momma, one day, I'll be coming back to you.']

Then I gave them all a hug and went into MY bedroom where I found that they had laid out me a sleep shirt along with lingerie and hose. I scooped them up and went into my bathroom and got ready for bed. After my shower, I donned my hose, then lingerie then my night shirt which went to mid thigh on me, then I went into my bedroom and they came in to tuck me in.

~~~~~~~~~

I learned later what Grandpa was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly has become such a sweet young lady that it is impossible to see any boy in her. She is following the path that Debbie went on. Now I hope to prevent Kelly from being hurt like Debbie was when she was attacked. I should have been there for her, but I foolishly stopped for a chat with Charlie about business. We've regretted that night for years and now I can redeem myself through Kelly.']

~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Aunt Debbie took me to her store. It was full of all sorts of clothing in all sots of styles and sizes. Towards the back are the appliances to aid a woman who needs help to be a woman by giving her enhancements.

When I saw the varied equipment, I got nervous, "Aunt Debbie, can you actually give me breasts?"

"Yes I can Kelly, please take off your top and bra when we get to my office." ['I bet this is the first time for Kelly to be fitted.']

"Why?"

"I need to take your measurements so that I can fit you for your breast forms." ['Oh my, this will be fun.']

Then I took off my top and sports bra that was filled with rolled up socks. Aunt Debbie measured me and then went over to a mixer where she began pouring in varied chemicals, then she turned it on and the mixer began to mix.

"Kelly, I am mixing up the special plastic that will be your breast forms. Once they are attached to your chest, they will feel and act like real breasts." ['Wish that I had this when I was transitioning.']

"Oh? Is that stuff some sort of artificial skin?"

"In a way, it's a bio plastic that actually bonds with the skin and transfers sensation. You can wear them for a month, and then you need to let your skin breathe for a day before reapplying."

"Gee, it'll be great to actually have breasts, but what about my groin?"

"I'll be making a gaffe from the same stuff the gaffe will act like a vagina, so you'll have to sit to pee."

"OK, but what about having a period the same as genetic women?"

"That's taken care of too."

Then she poured the goop into a set three forms, then she broke the larger ones to reveal breasts. She took them and dipped them in warm water. Then she led me to a bedroom.

"OK Kelly, please lay on the bed so that I can attach the forms."

I got on the bed on my back, and then she returned with the forms and placed them on my chest. I could feel them bond to me and take on my skin tone. I tried to get up, but she pushed me back down.

"They need to set for thirty minutes. Then I will put the gaffe on you."

"Thanks Auntie, I can never repay you for your kindness."

"Tut, tut, there girlfriend, you're my niece. In helping you, I am repaying my parents."

"Then I hope that I get a chance to help another girl like us so that I can repay you, for your gift one day."

"That's the spirit," then she glanced at the clock on the wall, then left. When she returned, she had a flesh-tone panty in her hands.

"Is that my vagina?' I giggled.

"Yep, now please strip o that I can get you ready."

"What are you gonna do to me?"

Then she pointed to a pair of straps on the beds posts, "I need to tuck your boy bits up and make them look like you are a girl. Then you can put on the gaffe."

So I stripped and put my feet in the straps. Aunt Debbie then manipulated my boy bits and then tapped me on the shoulder, "OK Kelly, you look like a girl now. You can get up and look in the mirror."

I did as she said and when I saw my reflection, all that I saw was a naked young woman. There was no hint of boy about me. I touched my new beasts and vagina, and then I fainted.

~~~~~~~~~

During this time, that defrocked preacher showed his ugly head and caused some mischief when he saw Julie at cheer practice. The practice was over and Julie was getting ready to leave.

"Hello there, are you Julie Woods?"

"Yes I am, who are you?"

"I am a Man Of God, and I am here because I am worried about you."

"Why? Because I am a cheerleader and bounce around?"

"No child, it's because you are friends with Kelly Lee Moore."

Then Julie exclaimed, YOU'RE THAT DEFROCKED PREACHER THAT HATES EVERYBODY!!" Then she started to run away, but he caught her. Then Julie succeeded in flipping him and getting away only to be gassed by a couple of his goons.

"Sir? What do we do with her now?"

"We take her and use her to get that abomination Kelly."

"So, we do nothing to her?"

"I will not have her harmed! If she is hurt in any way, I will personally castrate her attacker!"

Then they carried the unconscious Julie to their van and sped away, leaving a note behind.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 11- Support & Kidnap By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Now that Kelly has moved in with her Aunt Debbie and her grandparents, she begins a new part of her journey as she learns more about being a woman and learning how more about herself. At the same time, her best friend Julie is kidnapped by Kelly's enemy.

---

* * *

"Thank you Auntie, Momma told me about you just before you arrived and how you were afraid of me. How could I ever want to hurt you? It didn't matter to me that you were a boy like I am right now, and it still doesn't. We've had so much fun whenever I visited you in the past. I need for you to know now that I am in your care that I have never hated you. How can I ever hate you?" ['Dear Lord, why is she afraid of me?']

She sighed as she released built up tension, "I admit that I was afraid of you, but when you started to dress more as a girl more this year, I saw myself in you and I grew afraid for you. I was deathly afraid that you'd be hurt like I was. That is why we have not been together since you started going to Ronzi's as Kelly girl for your friends. You see, I was afraid that my nightmares would return. I'm glad that never happened, if it had, I don't know if I could have lived with myself," she sighed as tears started to flow down her cheeks. [She is much stronger than I was back then, please LORD, let us help her.]

"When Momma said that you were afraid of me Auntie, I knew there had to be a reason, are you having nightmares now? I've had nightmares about Daddy's death when not wearing girl's clothes." Well, Julie, or Johnny's." ['Lord, just how much alike are we?']

She wiped her eyes with a towelette, "Yes, I heard about that, Too bad that it's not that easy for me. Mine goes back to a Halloween Party where I was attacked by the monster, Linden Avery and his followers. Back then, I was a boy, their attack cost me my maleness, so I became Debbie."

"And those nightmares? Are you still having any?"

"No, I'm not. And I won't have them anymore. I told her that because I couldn't face you. Until now, I never knew that I had this strength in me. You see, I was afraid that being around you would bring them back." ['Thanks for believing in me Dad. You knew that I could face my fears.']

* * *

I was silent for a moment, as I pondered what she said. She had been changed by a Halloween Party, as I had been. But according to her, Grandpa Joe had been instrumental in her recovery, NOT Daddy, as I knew from before. Could she have transferred Daddy's help and Love to her daddy? Did she block what Daddy had done because he was dead, and needed someone alive as her Knight?

What was her relationship with Grandpa? Was she his Princess? Did he ever seduce her? Did she ever seduce him? I hated where my thoughts were leading me, but what with my inability to control my passions with Johnny, I was wondering if she too was as weak as I was. And if so, how could my being with her help me? I could ever so easily become like her, seduced by Grandpa. So, I had to find out.

* * *

I took a sip of my soda, "Aunt Debbie, we are much alike, right?" ['Lord, most times, this would be a prank, but it's NOT! And I'd NEVER prank about this.']

"Indeed we are, Kelly. Why do you ask?"['No doubt about it, it'll be about me and my parents.']

"Forgive me if I sound mean, but, are you having sex with Grandpa?"

She pulled over into the emergency lane as she started to howl in laughter. When she was through, she again, wiped away her tears with a towelette, "Oh, Kelly. You have THAT all wrong, child! Daddy and I are not engaging in sex with each other. Nor were Stu and I," she smiled at me. ['MY GOD! She must be thinking about her and Johnny!']

"Then why am I here Aunt Debbie? What changed?" ['LORD, I don't wanna be a burden to my auntie!!']

"Your Mother told me about you and Johnny and I had to come and get you before you two hurt each other as I was hurt, If not for Daddy, I'd have died back then, but he gave me the will to live when my life as a boy was taken away from me." she sighed as she remembered what happened to her that turned her into Debbie. [Thanks for being there Daddy, NOW I hope that you can be there for Kelly.]

"Auntie, what about Daddy, did he not help you too?"

Then the truth hit her, and she began to cry over forgetting about Daddy, "Oh, Kelly! I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me for forgetting what your father Stu did for me?"

I placed my hand on her knee, "Yes, Auntie, I forgive you. You simply made it Grandpa because you needed a living hero."

"Well, I guess that in one way, that you are stronger than I am," she sighed.

I shook my head, "No, Auntie. When Daddy died, I had to start wearing Julie's or Johnny's clothes to stop my nightmares, and that led to this. You grew up WITH Daddy. Did he help you with your's?"

"Yes, by wearing his, Terri's, our parent's clothes, I stopped the nightmares. And when I became Daddy's other Princess, they ended all together, except for a few when I was sick."

"Then we ARE very much alike! We are Special Sisters. Right Auntie?"

"Yes, we are, along with others who have gone through what we have to become, or becoming a woman."

"Oh, you mean like those in those stories?"

"Yes. Remember that there are many different girls like us. Some just wear dresses, while others transition to varying degrees."

"That's a lot to learn, isn't it?"

"Yes, you need to teach about us women, which I will teach you and other things as well."

"And I will learn from you now? What will I be learning? I know that Grandpa will be teaching me all about the farm, and Granny all about being a farmer's wife. 'Hopefully I can be a cheerleader up here, but that depends upon whether or not they let me. 'Maybe I should leave sports alone, though," I sighed. ['LORD, right now, I don't know what to do. I leave it al in your hands.']

"Yes, from me, you will learn to develop your inner strengths as I teach you the fine arts of being a Lady by taking you to a charm school and learning domestic skills with your Granny. Kelly, just wait until Granny gets a hold of you, she will teach you what I can't. This will be an experience for all of us," she giggled. ['Just wait, Kelly, there's a special welcoming committee waiting for you, our prank on you.']

"Domestic? What do you mean by domestic? I don't want to be some guy's maid wearing that skimpy uniform! I mean, I may enjoy wearing hose, and showing off my legs, but I'm not THAT type, Auntie," I huffed. [' Am I being a drama queen?']

"Yes, domestic, and no, you will never be a maid. You're way too smart for that. You will be what you choose to be. DAMN! Been listening to that U.S.Army commercial too much," she giggled.

"Good, then what are you talking about? Recruiting for Uncle Sam? I remember seeing those Army commercials, think their pretty snazzy too, but then again, most of the guys at school are pro-military ever since 9/11." ['Lord, I cried that day. For on that day, America lost her innocence.']

* * *

Then a Tri-County Constable' Cruiser pulled in behind us. I saw Aunt Debbie blush as he approached, "Morning, Debbie. Is that Kelly over there by you?"

"Yes, it is, Gus. Why?"

"Well, Daddy loves Terri, and Kelly as family. When I saw you pulled over, I wanted to see if you needed any help."

"Sir? Who is your daddy?"

"Sorry, Kelly. Daddy is Constable Sebastian."

"Oh, OK. He and Daddy were friends."

"I know, that's why he looks out for you guys."

"Please tell him thanks."

"I will, but why are you two here?"

"Kelly here asked me something that made me laugh, so I had to pull over, Gus."

Does it have to do with Kelly dressing as a girl, now?"

"Yes, it does, Sir. Am I in trouble?"

"Neah! We've head about you at Ronzi's, we figured that sooner, or later that would become an issue."

"Thanks for understanding."

He smirked, "Why shouldn't I? I am dating Debbie."

Then, after saying 'Good Bye,' he left, and we started back on our journey.

* * *

Now, I had a lot to think about. Aunt Debbie had a boyfriend, why not marry him? Constable Sebastian liked her, no doubt. And he was Daddy's friend, too. Did they know about Debbie, like they did me? I wasn't sure, so I decided to ask, but she beat me to it.

"You're wondering if they know about me, right, Kelly?"

"Yes, Auntie. He seems to be a nice guy. Why haven't you married him, yet?"

"Because I am afraid to hurt him," she sighed.

"I don't understand."

"He and his father love me, and think that I'd be a good wife for Gus, but he is touted to be the next Constable, and there are too many bigots that would crucify him if they found out about me or you now, for that matter."

"Are you talking about that defrocked preacher?"

"Yes, I am. He has a church just outside of Constable Sebastian's jurisdiction, and the sheriff over there will not grant him the right to cross the county line to capture linden."

"Is he still preaching?"

"Yes, he found a very rich widow who bequeathed her fortune to him on the stipulation that he form a church, and a school."

I began to ponder what she said, and came to a conclusion, "She was duped, because I can't see how she could basically give him carte blanche over her estate."

Auntie smiled, "Very perceptive of you, he was acting like he cared about others, and actually helped a few charities out, too. But those same charities sided with him after her death."

"Was one of them a fund to help the families of retired, slam sheriffs?"

"Yes, are you sure that you don't know?" she giggled.

"No, Auntie. I am going by what you said about the sheriff."

"Well, you are right! When that happened, there was an influx of ex-sheriffs into the Tri-County area."

"Which was gratefully accepted because we needed extra Policemen and Constables because of the cities expansion?"

"Not only sheriff's but also firemen paramedics and practically the entire county work force. They did not like being told what to believe as a part of their employment."

The implications of what she said hit me like a brick, "WOW!! No wonder Vale County has been in such dire straits! They don't have the workforce to handle the needs of the country! Am I ever glad that I live here, Auntie," I sighed. ['Lord, this is all due to his evil. When will it be over?']

"I am to, Kelly. But with you moving in, Momma will be teaching you what she taught me."

"Well, Auntie, I already knows how to cook, sew, and do repairs to the house, and car. What will Granny show me?"

"Think of what all it takes to keep a farm house clean and you'll know what skills you need to learn. Me, I think that you'll have fun learning how to can and preserve as well as sewing, knitting and crocheting from Granny." And will make you self reliant too. And no, not recruiting for the military, she giggled. ['Glad to see her sense of humor is back, she'll be needing it all too soon unless I'm mistaken.']

"What about Grandpa? I want to learn from him too. He reminds me of my daddy so much that it'll be like he's alive again in a way." ['Daddy, just how much of Grandpa is in you?']

"Oh, he'll teach you all about farming;" [giggle]" All types since we have a bit everything here on this farm. Even ways to handle our waste. I am so proud of Daddy for getting involved with green technology."

"You mean to tell me that he went green? I'd NEVER have thought that he'd do it. Did you have something to do with it?"

She blushed, "Yes, I did."

"OK, out with it!"

"Well, we went to the County Fair, one year, and there was a green technology exhibition. Daddy was impressed, but wouldn't get it until I proved to him that it would pay for itself with the savings we would make using it."

"Sounds as if Grandpa has something more than farming to teach me, now. But I still can't see him wearing a lab coat, or overseeing some high tech equipment," I giggled.

"Well, the green technology is very simple, just as he likes it. He even has some stills for making fuel, and a way to harness the methane from manure."

"Oh my! Grandpa sure has adapted to modern life, Auntie."

"Oh, yes, and he can teach you like he did me about using burlap, even as clothing," she giggled.

"Taught you? I thought that Granny taught you." ['Uh oh! I am thinking like those bigots, gotta stop that.']

"Yep, your momma and daddy too. And I loved learning it too. Going to the county fair will be quite an experience for you." ['Kelly will have a blast seeing all of those exhibits with her sense of wonder.']

Then I thought about the fact that we were both single. Was she a virgin like I was? No sex with opposite sex? "Why haven't you ever married Auntie? You are so pretty that I'm sure that Gus would have already married you."

[The little imp, she knows how to get me talking and she doesn't realize it yet.] "Oh I have Gus, you saw that he likes me, but there is another guy, Danny. He is waiting to get his own farm before I become his partner," she giggled.

"Why not as his wife, surely you're more than worth it to him. Is he gay? What about Gus" ['There I go again, judging others.']

[Just like her Mother.]"He wants to court me properly and in his eyes, that means we see if we can stand each other before we tie the knot. And he knows that I know a lot about farming. As for Gus, I just now found out that he likes me." ['Lord, he is MY Johnny. But do I choose Gus over Lonnie?']

"Does he know about your uh, secret?" The fact that you used to be Brian?" ['I wonder if the fact that Johnny knows about me is a cause to worry.']

"Yes, he knew me when I was a boy. After we dated for awhile and got to know each other, we found that we loved each other after I became Debbie." [' So much like Poppa, no wonder I love him so.']

"He sounds very wise I hope that you can choose one, and be happily married one day." ['Will I ever marry Johnny?']

"To me too Kelly, me too. And I know that he will marry me, of that I have no doubt. But I must choose, THAT is my dilemma."[Waiting for him is hard too, but he is worth it.]

Then I noticed that her stereo had been playing love songs," Auntie?"

"Yes Kelly?" [No doubt she'll inquire about the music.]

"Why are you playing love songs? Not that I mind. I love singing them, thinking their about me and Johnny."

"Because you need to listen to them. You are in love with Johnny and listening will help." ['She is such a babe in the woods about love.']

"Help me? How will they help?"

"They help me to be away from my beloved Danny, I hope that they help you too." ['I won't tell her that they contain a hidden message of hope.']

They did, listening to them eased my heart so that I was not pining away for Johnny as I was at first. I still missed him, but I was in control of my emotions. Best of all, I was at peace about moving away and leaving Momma.']

* * *

Let me tell you about the farm. It is one hundred acres of field, or orchards hemmed in by a very stout brick wall a meter wide who's purpose is to house the needed equipment within lockers including search lamps and a first aid kit incase of an emergency. Each field has its very own barn and silo where the tractors are kept with the upper level dedicated to apartments for any workers. The exceptions are the fields dedicated to livestock, in those, the barn is used to house the feed for the animals while the workers live in a farmhouse.

Each barn and house has been made eco-friendly with green technology appliances, solar panels, and windmills. The barns housing the distillery, and methane harvesting equipment is located back towards the rear of the farm with fire fighting equipment, nearby. All employees are trained in operating the equipment on the farm, earning them certificates as paramedics and lab assistants to the Larry Lincoln, a young black man who lives on the farm with his family. He graduated from college, but found that he loved farming, and his wife teaches in the elementary school.

* * *

As we were approaching the farm, I saw the fields of grass and produce and varied barns. There was a stout brick fence encircling the farm with an open gutter filled with water from the recent rain flowing in it.

hen we turned onto the driveway and went under the gateway arch where MOORE 'S FARM was emblazoned in wood. I was eagerly anticipating seeing my grandparents and I was not let down either.

By that time, we pulled into her garage where we were met by Granny and Grandpa. They both were smiling big time and Granny had a pie resting on a shelf near by. I jumped out of the car as Auntie killed the ignition and ran into their out stretched arms. "Grandma, Grandpa, it's so wonderful to see you again."

"Kelly child, I never thought that I'd see you looking so pretty. I guess that I gotta teach you about being a farmer's wife now." I heard Granny giggle. "And you will be a true Southern Belle too thanks to Debbie teaching you manners and my Joe teaching you farming." [Sweet child, so innocent and still pure, we got her in time.]

* * *

Grandpa Joe Carter Moore is a gray haired version of my Daddy. He grows a bit of everything upon his farm. With those greenhouses of his. And sells his produce to Mister Woods for his stores and restaurants. He also raises cattle, pigs and poultry. His farm is the largest privately owned farm in the state thanks to Mister Woods helping him to incorporate.

Granny Lizzie Jane Moore is gray haired version of my Momma. She loves canning, preserving using Grandpa's produce. She has won many an award at the county fair for her entries in cooking, quilts and bedspreads from sewing, knitting and crocheting that are keepsakes that she either give a presents or sells or gives the proceeds to the church.

* * *

Then Grandpa came and hugged me to him, "And I get to teach you all about farming now too, my way of farming, not the impersonal way of big business either." I heard Grandpa chortle. [Oh Kelly my grandson turned granddaughter, I hope that you'll find yourself with us now that you're here.]

"So, you know about me wanting to be a girl?" I sobbed into their shoulders. [Would they turn me away after I got here?]

Then Granny held my chin in her hand, "Yes child, we know about you wanting to be a girl that is why you're Grandpa, Debbie and I agreed to help you when your Momma called us. We are all here for you when you need us."[Sweet child, who could ever harm this beautiful rose. Any that does will feel my wrath!!!]

"Thanks Granny, for a second, I thought that you guys might send me away. Now I can forget that nightmare, cant me?" [' LORD, thank you for giving such loving grandparents.']

Then Grandpa took me by my shoulders and looked right into my eyes. I could see a depth of wisdom and a deep anger that was a terror to arouse, "Kelly, you are our precious grandchild. You can never do a damned thing to stop us from loving you. And now that you are here with us, we will never send you away. Only YOU will decide when or if that happens."['I must make Kelly understand that we will never abandon her. We never abandoned Debbie and now we will be there for Kelly too.']

Then I hugged them closer in a warm embrace as I wept tears of joy, "Thanks for loving me so much. I have been afraid of rejection ever since I hurt my Johnny. I should have never doubted you, none of you." ['LORD, why do I deserve such a loving family?']

"That's alright child, you were worried, now no more fretting about being here." I heard Grandma giggle. ['I can see that Kelly here still fears rejection. It's up to us to calm her fears now that she's here.']

"Besides that, your Granny has a pie just a waiting for us to eat, it's cooling over there for us. Now let's get inside and eat it with some ice cream and soda." Grandpa chuckled. ['I know that Kelly loves Lizzie's pies, that scamp couldn't get enough when she was a child.']

Then we all went inside to sit down to eat the pie ala mode and soda. I felt so much warmth and love from them that I forgot about my problems and became their granddaughter in my heart of hearts. After we had eaten the pie and cleaned the dishes, we up to bed where I found that they had prepared for me.

* * *

Let me tell you about the farmhouse. It is a two story brick house with a full attic and basement with all of the comforts of modern life mixed in with farm life. And no, it doesn't look a bit like the house in the painting AMERICAN GOTHIC.

The basement is filled with jars of: jelly, jam, preserves, and canned produce stored on sturdy wooden shelves built by Grandpa up under the front. Under the shelves are tin canisters of rice, beans, and other dry goods.

Then once out from the food storage rooms, there are the walk-in freezers filled with the haunches of beef, deer, pig and mutton as well as those of chicken, duck and geese. Next to them are the refrigerators filled with dairy, eggs, and baked goods.

Toward the back is the storage rooms for the quilts, comforters, and bedspreads that Granny makes as well as her sewing machine and a T.V. set so that she can watch her favorite shows. And behind Granny's rooms are tee stairs going up both sides of the house.

Then next to the stairs on the bottom floor is the back porch, then the kitchen on the right and utility room on the left. The kitchen has all of the modern conveniences with the stove on the back wall; sink under the window and refrigerator-freezer up front with trash compactor next to the stove and dishwasher next to the sink, by the stove. All around the kitchen are cabinets filled with varied appliances.

The utility room contains the washer, dryer, and lawn maintenance equipment as well as a shower and side door for the lawnmower with an easy access ramp so that Grandpa can roll the haunches in and lower them on the dumbwaiter next to the outside door.

Next to the kitchen is the living room filled with lounge chairs with a table on either side, fireplace on outside wall and entertainment center up front, under the window. The dining room is next to the utility room and has Granny's cherry wood dining room set in it with a mixture of china, cutlery, and glassware from Granny buying replacements to replace whatever got broke.

The upper floor contains Aunt Debbie's room over the kitchen, Momma's room over the utility room, Daddy's room over the dining room and the master bedroom over the living room. The bathrooms are on both sides of the stairs.

The attic is chock full of trunks filled with everybody's winter or summer clothes depending on the season, as well as trophies and knick knacks. Best of all, it is set up as a studio apartment with the trunks stacked next to bathrooms which are next to the stairs.

* * *

"Come over here Kelly and see your bedroom, said Grandpa. It was a real girl's bedroom with a canopy bed, and matching furniture. I saw a bookshelf filled with my favorite books and a computer ready for my use.

"WOW! Thanks guys! This room looks like my room back home. How did you do it?" ['They even have my favorite posters up.']

"When your Grandma and I heard that you needed a place to stay, we redecorated your momma's old room to look like your room back home," he chuckled. "We wanted for you to have a connection with your Mother, so we bought copies of your things and a new wardrobe too when we saw that you were going to need us when school started." [' I can tell that she likes the room from the way she is touching everything.']

Then I had an awful thought, "But what about my momma, where will she stay when she visits us?" ['Sorry Momma for taking your old room from you.']

Then Granny cupped my chin in her hand, "Child, don't you fret none, we have the guest room which used to be your dad's room here. Silly girl, you can be so forgetful at times," Granny giggled. ['Terri will love knowing that we gave Kelly her room.']

Then I began to weep, "Thanks Grandpa and Grandma, [sniff, sniff] I am sorry to be putting you two through so much trouble." [Sniff, sniff"I promise to not cause you any trouble." ['LORD. Please help me to be good for them.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "You are no trouble at all Kelly, This is your home too."['So innocent and trusting, she maybe nearly an adult, but she is still so child like in her need for love.']

"Thanks Auntie. It's nice to have such a family and home." ['Oh momma, one day, I'll be coming back to you.']

Then I gave them all a hug and went into MY bedroom where I found that they had laid out me a sleep shirt along with lingerie and hose. I scooped them up and went into my bathroom and got ready for bed. After my shower, I donned my hose, then lingerie then my night shirt which went to mid thigh on me, then I went into my bedroom and they came in to tuck me in.

* * *

I learned later what Grandpa was thinking about me that night: ['Kelly has become such a sweet young lady that it is impossible to see any boy in her. She is following the path that Debbie went on. Now I hope to prevent Kelly from being hurt like Debbie was when she was attacked. I should have been there for her, but I foolishly stopped for a chat with Charlie about business. We've regretted that night for years and now I can redeem myself through Kelly.']

* * *

The next day, Aunt Debbie took me to her store. It was full of all sorts of clothing in all sots of styles and sizes. Towards the back are the appliances to aid a woman who needs help to be a woman by giving her enhancements.

When I saw the varied equipment, I got nervous, "Aunt Debbie, can you actually give me breasts?"

"Yes I can Kelly, please take off your top and bra when we get to my office." ['I bet this is the first time for Kelly to be fitted.']

"Why?"

"I need to take your measurements so that I can fit you for your breast forms." ['Oh my, this will be fun.']

Then I took off my top and sports bra that was filled with rolled up socks. Aunt Debbie measured me and then went over to a mixer where she began pouring in varied chemicals, then she turned it on and the mixer began to mix.

"Kelly, I am mixing up the special plastic that will be your breast forms. Once attached to your chest, they will feel and act like real breasts." ['Wish that I had this when I was transitioning.']

"Oh? Is that stuff some sort of artificial skin?"

"In a way, it's a bio plastic that actually bonds with the skin and transfers sensation. You can wear them for a month, the you need to let your skin breathe for a day before reapplying."

"Gee, it'll be great to actually have breasts, but what about my groin?"

"I'll be making a gaffe from the same stuff; the gaffe will act like a vagina, so you'll have to sit to pee."

"OK, but what about having a period like genetic women?"

"That's taken care of too."

Then she poured the goop into a set three forms, and then she broke the larger ones to reveal breasts. She took them and dipped them in warm water. Then she led me to a bedroom.

"OK Kelly please lay on the bed so that I can attach the forms."

I got on the bed on my back, and then she returned with the forms and placed them on my chest. I could feel them bond to me and take on my skin tone. I tried to get up, but she pushed me back down.

"They need to set for thirty minutes, and then I will put the gaffe on you."

"Thanks Auntie, I can never repay you for your kindness."

"Tut, tut, there girlfriend, you're my niece. In helping you, I am repaying my parents."

"Then I hope that I get a chance to help another girl like us so that I can repay you for your gift one day."

"That's he spirit," then she glanced at the clock on the wall, then left. When she returned, she had a flesh-tone panty in her hands.

"Is that my vagina?' I giggled.

"Yep, now please strip o that I can get you ready."

"What are you gonna do to me?"

Then she pointed to a pair of straps on the beds posts, "I need to tuck your boy bits up and make them look like you are a girl. Then you can put on the gaffe."

So I stripped and put my feet in the straps. Aunt Debbie then manipulated my boy bits and then tapped me on the shoulder, "OK, Kelly, you look like a girl now. You can get up and look in the mirror."

I did as she said and when I saw my reflection, all that I saw was a naked young woman. There was no hint of boy about me. I touched my new beasts and vagina, and then I fainted.

* * *

During this time, that defrocked preacher showed his ugly head and caused some mischief when he saw Julie at cheer practice. The practice was over and Julie was getting ready to leave.

"Hello there, are you Julie Woods?"

"Yes I am, who are you?"

"I am a Man Of God, and I am here because I am worried about you."

"Why? Because I am a cheerleader and bounce around?"

"No child, it's because you are friends with Kelly Lee Moore."

Then Julie exclaimed, YOU'RE THAT DEFROCKED PREACHER THAT HATES EVERYBODY!!" Then she started to run away, but he caught her. Then Julie succeeded in flipping him and getting away only to be gassed by a couple of his goons.

"Sir? What do we do with her now?"

"We take her and use her to get that abomination Kelly."

"So, we do nothing to her?"

"I will not have her harmed! If she is hurt in any way, I will personally castrate her attacker!"

Then they carried the unconscious Julie to their van and sped away, leaving a note behind.

* * *

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 12-Rescue By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Kelly arrives at her grandparents farm where she is made to feel at home, and learns some family history that sheds light upon a mystery. After learning about the kidnapping of her best friend Julie Woods, Kelly decides to rescue her. But in doing so she pays a high price as she loses her innocence and learns how to hate.

---

I woke up with Aunt Debbie holding my hand, "Sorry about that, I guess that you overloaded when you heard the song about you." ['It is hard to believe that Kelly is now my niece for all intents and purposes.']

I smiled, "That's OK Aunt Debbie. I just have to get used to being a girl now. When I first saw my new look, I finally saw a woman. There was absolutely no trace of boy. Until then, I saw myself as a boy in a dress. NOW, I see myself as a girl." [' LORD, I want to say good bye to Kelly boy and hello Kelly girl. Please let Kelly boy go to Heaven.']

Then she helped me to sit up, "That's what happens I guess. For me, I woke up from surgery as a girl, boy, was I ever flat chested. So I have no idea of what you went through. You see, you're the first that I saw to get her first forms."

Then I remembered what she said about her transformation, "Oh, You mean that you were not on hormones at the time? It's hard to imagine that."

"No, Kelly, I was not at the time. For a while, I needed those breast forms until mine developed." ['Just how much is she like me, I wonder.']

"How long did it take?"

"Not long, I was fully developed after six months, and now, I produce my own."

"Oh? How is that?"

"After my surgery, the doctors found that I am inter-sexed." ['Lord, is she?']

"Inter-sexed? What's that?"

"It is where you are born with both reproductive systems, to varying degrees." ['Will she make the connection?']

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, "I could be inter-sexed, too!" ['If so, THEN Johnny and I could have children, just as she could, if ever she was to have sex with a man.']

She smiled at me, "Very likely you are. But it will be hard to tell since you were chemically castrated before puberty."

The implications began to sift through my mind," Auntie, one question."

"What is your question, as if I don't know," she smirked. ['I have yet to answer that question, but I hope to soon.']

"Can you conceive and give birth to babies?"

"I am not sure, Kelly. But I do menstruate like your mother does. So it's possible."

"Oh? How is that possible?"

"Yes, I was lucky in having a surgeon who knew about girls like me," she sighed. ['Even now, Lord, I am in awe of how you helped me.']

I smiled at her, "Girls like you, you mean inter-sexed?"

"Yes, Doctor Andrea DiMaggio helped me by not only making me a woman down below, she also counseled me on how to be one, too."

"Funny, why her, and not Granny, or Momma?"

She looked at me with understanding in her eyes, "I was totally new to being a woman, so she taught me everything about hygiene, and even about enjoying sex. And to tell the truth, I was so in awe of them that I couldn't function as a woman. "

"How did you find out?"

"I'd clam up on things that a woman should know about around them, but opened up around Andrea."

"Sounds as if you two became friends."

"Oh, we did."

"When can I meet her?"

"I doubt that you ever can, sorry."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"She married her True Love, and moved to Providence Rhode Island where they help other special girls."

Then, I thought crossed my mind, "Auntie, you one of those special girls?"

"Yes, just as you are. But there are the transgendered girls, too."

"You mean like I could be?"

"Yes, but that includes lesbians, crossdressers, intersexed, too."

Oh, like that character Drew/Gaby in that trilogy, right?"

"Yes, but in Gaby's case, she is intersexed, and a lesbian. But if Drew was androgen insensitive, then he would be a male with a woman's body."

"That Mady Bell is one cool author, isn't she?"

"Yes, she wrote her Gaby series and donated the proceeds to Mermaids. She really cares for special children."

Then I got up and saw that I was naked, "Aunt Debbie, where are my clothes?'

She passed me fresh lingerie and hose, "Here, fresh clothes for the new you. I have a shorts set for you too."

Then I donned the pantyhose, "Thanks."

After that, I donned the "33C" cup bra that was perfect for my breasts and matching red panty. "Here's the shorts set, Supergirl," she giggled.

"Why Supergirl?"

"Because you are strong to do what you're doing."

"OK, but I will feel foolish dressed like this."

"None sense! That red "S" is an iron-on logo, you can pull it off."

Yes, the shorts were red and the top was a blue long sleeved blouse with a red "S" on the left breast. I donned them, removed the logo and was handed red knee hi socks, "Aunt Debbie, you gonna have m wear red boots too?" I giggled.

"Yep. You'll be a boy magnet at Woods Family Restaurant."

"We meeting anybody?"

"Just your mother."

Then I hugged her, "Thanks Aunt Debbie," I wept.

"Anytime Kelly, anytime."

Then I donned the socks and boots and stood in front of the mirror, "Here is your purse," she said as she passed me a matching purse.

I opened the purse and saw my I.D. and other personnel items and closed the purse and kissed her, "Thanks."

Then we left her store, putting my old clothes in the trunk and headed off to eat lunch with Momma.

Meanwhile, back at the school, Johnny was heading to meet Julie after football practice was over. He was worried because she usually went to the field after cheering in the gym.

"Hey Coach Sparks! Do you know where Julie is?"

Coach Martha Diana Greene is the Head Girl's Coach in charge of the cheerleaders. She is a petite African-American with classic Nubian features. She had won several local beauty contests and was Homecoming Queen in her senior year, replacing Momma from the year before. Coach won a scholarship and went to college to become Athletics Teacher so she could return and teach cheer, dance, and gymnastics. She married Coach Henry David Sparks and became Coach Sparky because of her fiery temper when angry and outgoing attitude to her students.

She turned from where she was locking up the concession stand, "No I don't Johnny Boy. I thought that she'd be at the field with you and my husband David."

Johnny grimaced, No, she never showed up. I thought that maybe you had them practicing extra long today for some reason."

"WHAT? Not with Julie's attitude. With her being Head Cheerleader, my job is loads easier, Maybe we should check out her locker."

"OK Coach, I hope that she's there or a note. This has me worried." he sighed. ['LORD! Please let her be safe.']

"Me too Johnny, me too,"

They went down to the girl's locker room where Coach Sparky held up her hand, "Stay here until I make sure that there are no girls in there changing clothes." [' If I let him go in and see naked girls, it'd be my job.']

"Sure thing Coach, just make sure about Julie for me please." ['Julie's safety more important than more seeing naked girls.']

Then Coach went in," Johnny!! Come on in!! It's clear!!" ['Now, this is weird, why is her locker open?"']

"Where's my sister Coach, and did you open her locker? I see her favorite purse there." "DAMN!! If she ain't here, then where is she?']

"Wish I knew. HEY!! WHAT'S THIS?!" She asked as she picked up an envelope with WOODS printed on it and handed it to Johnny.

He opened it and read it, then blanched as he passed it over.

Woods family, I have kidnapped your daughter Julie Woods. She is unharmed so far. But unless you send me that abomination known as Kelly Lee Moore, Jules will suffer! I shall call you later tonight at 1000 P.M. to see if you have contacted Kelly. DO NOT trifle with me for your daughter's sake.
Reverend Linden Avery Brown

She read it and wept with anger. "WHY DOES HE WANT SWEET KELLY?! WHAT HAS KELLY EVER DONE TO HIM!?" she asked as tears flowed.

"I don't give a damn why Coach! All that I know is that I gotta go tell mom and dad!" he said in fury as he stalked to his gray Thunderbird and raced for home.

In the car, he wept as he drove, "Oh Kelly my friend. Why is he after you? Why did he take my sister? It is up to you to save her. I feel so helpless right now! Please be strong for Julie. I can sense her fright. Thanks to that bond, I can tell you where she is." Then he arrived home and bolted inside, leaving the car open on the front in his haste.

"MOM!! DAD!! COME QUICK!! JULIE'S IN TROUBLE!!" he exclaimed as he slammed the door open.

"What's wrong son? Where's Julie?" asked a perplexed Mrs. Woods as she came running from the kitchen. [' Now what has gotten my son Johnny in such an uproar? And where is Julie? Surely she is OK.']

Johnny held out the now crumpled note to her, "Here! Read this! It'll explain EVERYTHING!" he proclaimed with conviction as he wept. ['LORD! What can I do but pray right now? I need momma and daddy!']

She read the note and wailed, "NO!!! NOT JULIE!!!" Then she crumbled as she fainted from the shock, but Johnny caught her and gently carried her to a sofa in the living room.

"Johnny" Why has your mother fainted?" asked Mister Woods as he came in from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner.

"Here, read this, momma did," said Johnny as he passed over the damning note.

"THAT BASTARD!! HE IS STILL PRACTICING HIS FILTH AFTER HE HURT DEBBIE!! THIS TIME!! HE WILL DIE!!" he exclaimed as he baled up his fists and wept.

"Dad, should I call the police?" [' I have not thought about them ever since Mister Moore died. He was the best.']

"No son, we will call my friend the County Constable . We are in his jurisdiction, not the city's. Besides, he hates that defrocked preacher too."

Then Mrs. Woods awoke, "Yes Charlie, we must make him pay for taking our daughter Julie. But we need to call Kelly as well so that she can help." [' Oh Kelly, I never thought that this would happen.']

We met momma at Wood's All American Restaurant where there were an assembly of campers and R.V.'s with a banner announcing the Costumer's Convention, "You knew about this Aunt Debbie." I giggled.

"Yes, several of them needed my help with their costumes."

Then I stopped just before we went in, "People like me?" ['Can there be THAT many boys that want to be girls in the city?']

Then Aunt Debbie giggled, "No silly goose, there are a few men that like to either dress as women for fun or

women who need help with their assets when wearing costumes. No Kelly, there is only one you."['There's no need to tell her about the entire gamut of all of my customers and their needs.']

Then we went in and saw superheroes and their opponents throughout the restaurant, but around the buffet, there were empty seats for the regular customers. We were greeted by a hostess wearing a white blouse with matching pantyhose, black knee length skirt with matching loafers and a red blazer. "Welcome Debbie, is this your niece Kelly?"

"Yes it is Diana; we're here to meet her mother, Terri Moore. Is she here?" she asked while scanning the place.

Then we heard Momma, "Over here Kelly!" She was standing by a table with her purse on it.

"Well, I guess that's her there," Diana smirked as she led us to Momma.

"How do you know Diana, Aunt Debbie?" [' I wonder, could she be one of Auntie Debbie's school friends?']

"Diana is like us, she use to be David," she whispered to me.

"Wow! She looks so natural."

"That's because she took hormones while a preteen and developed a girl's body."

"Isn't that unusual?"

"Yes, but in her case, she had an accident that took her boy bits, so her parents let her transition to a girl early."

"She wanted to be a girl?"

"Yes."

"Cool! Glad her parents let her. I wonder if I'll look that good," I sighed.

Aunt Debbie put her hand on my shoulder, "You look THAT good now, Kelly!"

Then I hugged her, "Thanks."

By that time, we were at the table and were seated. Diana took our drink order and we went to buffet where I loaded up on tuna and potato salad and clam chowder, my favorites.

I was seated, waiting for them, "Kelly, aren't you being a bit of a pig?" asked Momma as she sat down.

"Momma, you know that I am quite active and that I burn off the calories." ['Is she getting on to me because I am in girl mode?']

Momma sighed, "Yes, I know that Kelly, but you're no longer that active. You need to cut back now or you will balloon on up. Now tell me, do you want to look like a beach ball or called a whale or a pig?" [' I hate having to do this, but she needs to change her eating habits or work out.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "Terri is right. When I transitioned, I had to watch what I ate because of the hormones." [' At least Kelly has the advantage of being given those hormones before puberty.']

"Momma, Aunt Debbie, I will do as you say, but right now, I am famished. And Momma, you know that I only eat one plate."

"OK Kelly, just looking after you."

We had a scrumptious meal and I told them about my adventures as Kelly girl and why. Until then, I never thought about why I let myself be talked into being Kelly girl, now I knew why. I felt complete when I was Kelly girl. As Kelly boy, I loved sports and was never considered weak or a sissy by my teammates or fellow students.

It was only recently that being Kelly girl became more important than being Kelly boy when I finally accepted Kelly girl as the real me that things had changed. Now I needed to ground myself in what being a girl means.

As we finished our meal, momma received a call on her cell phone, "Hello?"

"Yes, Kelly is here. Why?"

"MY GOD!! ARE YOU SURE?"

"We're on our way!"

"Julie was kidnapped by that defrocked preacher. He wants Kelly."

"You mean that he wants me to go to him and he'll let Julie go?"

"Yes."

Then we left for the Woods Estate at breakneck speed, running red lights the whole way.

In an abandoned building converted into a church, Pastor Linden sat in his office with a bound Julie, still in her blue skirted leotard and white tights from practice sat tied to a chair on the other side of the desk. Guarding the pastor were two beefy men wearing black sweats and shoes. BOTH were sexually excited thinking about sex with Julie, their pants showed their arousal by the tenting of the crotch, "Well Julie, by now your family should have contacted Kelly. All too soon, that abomination will be here where I shall do my Christian duty and deal with him," he sneered. ['I do it for the Church and YOU LORD.']

"Why do you call Kelly an abomination?"

"Because he chooses to be a girl when he was born a boy! Worst of all, he has corrupted the school! Luckily, I have a few followers there."

"Don't you mean to say fellow Christians?"

"HAH! ONLY MY FOLLOWERS TRULY FOLLOW GOD!! THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN FOOLED BY KELLY!" he shouted.

"Kelly has hurt no one. In fact he was hut when a doctor gave him hormones making him go through a girl's puberty."

"So? Kelly STILL chose to dress as a girl and cause boys to lust for him. He has embraced being an abomination!"

"Well I hope that Kelly trounces you for taking me! You had no right to kidnap me!"

"Then Julie, I shall let my followers convince you otherwise, they are eager to help you see the truth."

Then the guards lifted the protesting Julie and carried her to the sofa where they lay her and raped her repeatedly. She shouted through the gag they placed in her mouth as they assaulted her until she passed out from the pain.

"THE PAIN!!!" Johnny shouted as he grabbed his groin and fell over.

Mister Woods lifted his son up, "What's wrong Sport?"

"IT'S JULIE!! THEY ARE RAPING HER!!!"

Then Mister Woods began crying as he laid Johnny on the sofa, "THE BASTARDS!!! THIS IS WAR!!!" he exclaimed.

Mrs. Woods came running in, "Did I hear right? Julie is being raped?!"

"Yes Momma, GOD IT HURTS!!"

"WHAT?!"

"Momma, I feel Julie being raped!! I feel her pain and fear!!"

Then he fainted away from the pain.

The County Constable was in his office when he got the call,"Hello?"

"Sebastian, This is Chuck."

"Why Chuck!! How are things with you and your family? Last I heard, Kelly had been benched because of an injury."

"He was, but that's not why I called you."

"This sounds serious Chuck."

"Julie has been kidnapped and possibly raped by Pastor Linden!"

"DAMN!! I thought that we were rid of his ilk! I'm on my way over!"

"WAIT! There's more!"

"SPILL IT!!"

He wants Kelly!!"

Then he hung up the phone and bolted for the Woods Estate.

As we approached the Estate, I saw something amazing, "Momma! There's Mrs. Woods out front!"

She was there, keeping the gate open for us so that we wouldn't have to stop to open it. After we went in, she came in and shut the gate, then she got in with us as Aunt Debbie had opened the back door, "Thanks for the gate Lynn ."

She began to weep, "Debbie, [sniff, sniff] I am more worried about Julie, [sniff, sniff and Johnny seems to be bonded to her."

"WHAT!? exclaimed momma as she braked quickly.

"That's right Terri, he felt her fear and pain of being raped."

"I'LL KILL HIM!!!" I exclaimed with tears running unashamedly down my face.

Momma drove on to the Manor House, "Kelly, my feelings exactly, but Julie's safety comes first," admonished Mrs. Woods.

"WHY DID HE TAKE HER?! WHY?!"

"To get you Kelly, to get you," replied Mrs. Woods.

Momma parked the car and we got out and Johnny grabbed me in a bear hug, "Oh Kelly! This is a nightmare!!"

Then I kissed him as he let me back down, "Don't worry Johnny, I am here to help end it."

Then we went in as a new car entered the gates, "That'll be the Sebastian, Charlie's Constable friend. He called him after he called you."

"Good, We'll need his help," stated Aunt Debbie as we went inside.

Mrs. Woods stayed at the door to let him in while we went to the dining room where Mister Woods had set out coffee for everybody, He hugged me as I approached him," Welcome back Kelly, wish it was under better circumstances."

I hugged him, "Me too Mister Woods, me too." [' LORD! Give the strength to do what I must to save Julie.']

Then Constable Sebastian entered, "OK Charlie, I'm here."

Mister Woods sighed, "Thanks old friend. Everybody sit down and I'll tell you what we know about Julie's kidnapping."

After we sat down, he continued, Johnny found a note in Julie's locker after practice with Coach Sparky. According to the note, Pastor Linden took her and wants to exchange her for Kelly. But we know that she has been raped."

"How do you know Sir?"

"I felt her pain in my body as it happened Kelly."

I hugged Johnny, "How cruel to learn that way my brother! To be linked and feel her pain."

"There is one good thing, I know where she is."

"Then my people will rescue her."

"No Sir, THAT'S MY JOB!!"

After some arguing, it was decided that I would meet him and thanks to Johnny, I knew where they were. We got into a minibus that the Constable had arrived in and the Wood's phone has been transferred to my cell phone.

We pulled up to Pastor Linden's MIGHTY GOD CHURCH and were aghast at the gaudy display. We got out and I silently entered through the back door, leading the others. About the time that the Constable had secured the door, my pone rang.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kelly?"

"It is."

"Good, good. Are you ready to meet me?"

"Yes."

"Then let me tell you where I am."

"Are you not in your church?"

"Yes I am, Why?"

Then I knocked him out with a single blow to the neck. I was able to sneak up on him, "Because ASSHOLE! I am here to rescue Julie."

By that time, the others had freed Julie who was crying, "Oh Kelly!! They hurt me!!"

"Who?"

She pointed to the two guards, THEM!! THEY RAPED ME!!"

I lost it then, I jumped on both and beat on both of them. I heard bones crack as I let my anger consume me. When they got up, their gun arm was hanging uselessly from their dislocated shoulder.

"YOU BASTARDS! YOU RAPED MY SISTER! NOW, YOU WILL PAY!"

They pulled out long knives and came at me, slashing away, intent upon murder. I vaulted over them and kicked their unharmed shoulders, dislocating it, and then when they were down, ended their manhood with a vicious blow, rupturing the sacks.

They tried to get up, but I grabbed their guns, thusly causing them to stop, "BEFORE NOW, I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO HATE! BUT YOU TWO, AND YOUR LEADER HAVE CHANGED THAT! WHO ARE YOU?"

The dark haired goon looked like Ricardo Montoban from Fantasy Island , but younger, "I am Morrison Avery, his cousin."

The red haired goon looked like Lou Ferrigno, "I am Nelson Avery, another cousin, Morrison's brother."

"Why should I not trounce either of you?"

"You trounce me or my cousin? Surely you jest," chuckled Nelson.

"Little girl, WE will trounce you, and rape you as we did your slutty friend." leered Morrison.

I swift kicked him in the solar plexus, "I have a black belt in karate, and other arts. So, do your selves a favor and do not tempt me!"

By that time, my enemy returned to consciousness, "So, the abomination chooses to parlay with my family, eh? Go ahead, they listen to me," he laughed.

I looked right at hin, knowing that Julie was in terror of him, "So, you had your cousin rape my sister Julie. Just how is that ordained by your god?"

"They simply showed her their power over her to show her that to defy my teachings is to defy my master."

"No, you are so wrong! you have corrupted the Bible into your abominal teachings that support your warped values."

Then, Julie came over, being helped by a stranger, "Kelly, this is Mike. He is OK. He never touched me. In fact, he tried to stop them."

I nodded, "Mike, Why are you here?"

"I Love Julie. And even though I was powerless to stop her from being raped, I have ben trying to comfort her."

"So, you have corrupted Micheal, my chosen successor. You will al be destroyed."

I lost it then, I jumped on both and beat on both of them. I heard bones crack, and heard cries of pain until I felt a shock and passed out.

---

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 10: Rescue By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After learning about the kidnapping of her best friend Julie Woods, Kelly decides to rescue her. But in doing so she pays a high price as she loses her innocence and learns how to hate

 

---

I woke up with Aunt Debbie holding my hand, "Sorry about that, I guess that you overloaded when you saw the new you." ['It is hard to believe that Kelly is now my niece for all intents and purposes.']

 

I smiled, "That's OK Aunt Debbie. I just have to get used to looking like a girl now. When I first saw my new look, I finally saw a woman. There was absolutely no trace of boy. Until then, I saw myself as a boy in a dress. NOW, I see myself as a girl." [' LORD, I want to say good bye to Kelly boy and hello Kelly girl. Please let Kelly boy go to Heaven.']

Then she helped me to sit up, "That's what happens I guess. For me, I woke up from surgery as a girl. So I have no idea of what you went through. You're the first that I saw to get her first forms."

Then I got up and saw that I was naked, "Aunt Debbie, where are my clothes?"

She passed me fresh lingerie and hose, "Here, fresh clothes for the new you. I have a shorts set for you too."

Then I donned the pantyhose, "Thanks."

After that, I donned the "34C" cup bra that was perfect for my breasts and matching red panty, "Here's the shorts set, Supergirl," she giggled.

"Why Supergirl?"

"Because you are strong to do what you're doing."

"OK, but I will feel foolish dressed like this."

"Nonsense! That red "S" is an iron-on logo, you can pull it off."

Yes, the shorts were red and the top was a blue long sleeved blouse with a red "S" on the left breast. I donned them, removed the logo and was handed red knee hi socks, "Aunt Debbie, you gonna have me wear red boots too?" I giggled.

"Yep, you'll be a boy magnet at Woods Family Restaurant."

"Are we meeting anybody?"

"Just your mother."

Then I hugged her, "Thanks Aunt Debbie," I wept.

"Anytime Kelly, anytime."

Then I donned the socks and boots and stood in front of the mirror, "Here is your purse," she said as she passed me a matching purse.

I opened the purse and saw my I.D. and other personnel items and closed the purse and kissed her, "Thanks."

Then we left her store, putting my old clothes in the trunk and headed off to eat lunch with momma.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, back at the school, Johnny was heading to meet Julie after football practice was over. He was worried because she usually went to the field after cheering in the gym.

"Hey Coach Sparks! Do you know where Julie is?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coach Martha Diana Greene is the Head Girl's Coach in charge of the cheerleaders. She is a petite African-American with classic Nubian features. She had won several local beauty contests and was Homecoming Queen in her senior year, replacing momma from the year before. Coach won a scholarship and went to college to become Athletics Teacher so she could return and teach cheer, dance, and gymnastics. She married Coach Henry David Sparks and became Coach Sparky because of her fiery temper when angry and outgoing attitude to her students.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She turned from where she was locking up the concession stand, "No I don't Johnny Boy. I thought that she'd be at the field with you and my husband David."

Johnny grimaced, No, she never showed up. I thought that maybe you had them practicing extra long today for some reason."

"WHAT? Not with Julie's attitude. With her being Head Cheerleader, my job is loads easier, Maybe we should check out her locker."

"OK Coach, I hope that she's there or a note. This has me worried," he sighed. ['LORD! Please let her be safe.']

"Me too Johnny, me too,"

They went down to the girl's locker room where Coach Sparky held up her hand, "Stay here until I make sure that there are no girls in there changing clothes." ['If I let him go in and see naked girls, it'd be my job.']

"Sure thing Coach, just make sure about Julie for me please." ['Julie's safety more important than more seeing naked girls.']

Then Coach went in, "Johnny!! Come on in!! It's clear!!" ['Now, this is weird, why is her locker open?']

"Where's my sister Coach, and did you open her locker? I see her favorite purse there." ['DAMN!! If she ain't here, then where is she?']

"Wish I knew. HEY!! WHAT'S THIS?!" She asked as she picked up an envelope with WOODS printed on it. And handed it to Johnny.

He opened it and read it, then blanched as he passed it over .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woods family, I have kidnapped your daughter Julie Woods. She is unharmed so far. But unless you send me that abomination known as Kelly Lee Moore, Julie will suffer!
I shall call you later tonight at 1000 P.M. to see if you have contacted Kelly. DO NOT trifle with me for your daughter's sake.
Reverend Linden Avery Brown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She read it and wept with anger, "WHY DOES HE WANT SWEET KELLY?! WHAT HAS KELLY EVER DONE TO HIM!?" she asked as tears flowed.

"I don't give a damn why Coach! All that I know is that I gotta go tell mom and dad!" he said in fury as he stalked to his gray Thunderbird and raced for home.

In the car, he wept as he drove, "Oh Kelly my friend. Why is he after you? Why did he take my sister? It is up to you to save her. I feel so helpless right now! Please be strong for Julie. I can sense her fright. Thanks to that bond, I can tell you where she is."

Then he arrived home and bolted inside, leaving the car door open in his haste, "MOM!! DAD!! COME QUICK!! JULIE'S IN TROUBLE!!" he exclaimed as he slammed the door open.

"What's wrong son? Where's Julie?" asked a perplexed Mrs. Woods as she came running from the kitchen. ['Now what has gotten my son Johnny in such an uproar? And where is Julie? Surely she is OK.']

Johnny held out the now crumpled note to her, "Here! Read this! It'll explain EVERYTHING!" he proclaimed with conviction as he wept. ['LORD! What can I do but pray right now? I need momma and daddy!']

She read the note and wailed, "NO!!! NOT JULIE!!!" Then she crumbled as she fainted from the shock, but Johnny caught her and gently carried her to a sofa in the living room.

"Johnny, Why has your mother fainted?" asked Mister Woods as he came in from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner.

"Here, read this, momma did," said Johnny as he passed over the damning note.

"THAT BASTARD!! HE IS STILL PRACTICING HIS FILTH AFTER HE HURT DEBBIE!! THIS TIME!! HE WILL DIE!!" he exclaimed as he balled up his fists and wept.

"Dad, should I call the police?" ['I have not thought about them ever since Mister Moore died. He was the best.']

"No son, we will call my friend the County Constable. We are in his jurisdiction, not the city's. Besides, he hates that defrocked preacher too."

Then Mrs. Woods awoke, "Yes Charlie, we must make him pay for taking our daughter Julie. But we need to call Kelly as well so that she can help." ['Oh Kelly, I never thought that this would happen.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We met momma at Wood's All American Restaurant where there were an assembly of campers and R.V.'s with a banner announcing the Costumer's Convention, "You knew about this Aunt Debbie." I giggled.

"Yes, several of them needed my help with their costumes."

Then I stopped just before we went in, "People like me?" ['Can there be THAT many boys that want to be girls in the city?']

Then Aunt Debbie giggled, "No Silly G oose, there are a few men that like to either dress as women for fun or women who need help with their assets when wearing costumes. No Kelly, there is only one you." ['There's no need to tell her about the entire gamut of all of my customers and their needs.']

Then we went in and saw super heroes and their opponents throughout the restaurant, but around the buffet, there were empty seats for the regular customers. We were greeted by a hostess wearing a white blouse with matching pantyhose, black knee length skirt with matching loafers and a red blazer. "Welcome Debbie, is this your niece Kelly?"

"Yes it is Diana. We're here to meet her mother, Terri Moore. Is she here?" she asked while scanning the place.

Then we heard momma, "Over here Kelly!" She was standing by a table with her purse on it.

"Well, I guess that's her there," Diana smirked as she led us to momma.

"How do you know Diana, Aunt Debbie?" ['I wonder, could she be one of Auntie Debbie's school friends?']

"Diana is like us, she use to be David," she whispered to me.

"Wow! She looks so natural."

"That's because she took hormones while a preteen and developed a girl's body."

"Isn't that unusual?"

"Yes, but in her case, she had an accident that took her boy bits, so her parents let her transition to a girl early."

"She wanted to be a girl?"

"Yes."

"Cool! Glad her parents let her. I wonder if I'll look that good," I sighed.

Aunt Debbie put her hand on my shoulder, "You look THAT good now, Kelly!"

Then I hugged her, "Thanks."

By that time, we were at the table and were seated. Diana took our drink order and we went to the buffet where I loaded up on tuna and potato salad and clam chowder, my favorites.

I was seated, waiting for them, "Kelly, aren't you being a bit of a pig?" asked momma as she sat down.

"Momma, you know that I am quite active and that I burn off the calories." ['Is she getting on to me because I am in girl mode?']

Momma sighed, "Yes, I know that Kelly, but you're no longer that active. You need to cut back now or you will balloon on up. Now tell me, do you want to look like a beach ball or called a whale or a pig?" ['I hate having to do this, but she needs to change her eating habits or work out.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "Terri is right. When I transitioned, I had to watch what I ate because of the hormones." ['At least Kelly has the advantage of being given those hormones before puberty.']

"Momma, Aunt Debbie, I will do as you say, but right now, I am famished. And momma, you know that I only eat one plate."

"OK Kelly, just looking after you."

We had a scrumptious meal and I told them about my adventures as Kelly girl and why. Until then, I never thought about why I let myself be talked into being Kelly girl, now I knew why. I felt complete when I was Kelly girl. As Kelly boy, I loved sports and was never considered weak or a sissy by my teammates or fellow students.

It was only recently that being Kelly girl became more important than being Kelly boy when I finally accepted Kelly girl as the real me that things had changed. Now I needed to ground myself in what being a girl means.

As we finished our meal, momma received a call on her cell phone, "Hello?"

"Yes, Kelly is here. Why?"

"MY GOD!! ARE YOU SURE?"

"We're on our way!"

"Julie was kidnapped by that defrocked preacher. He wants Kelly."

"You mean that he wants me to go to him and he'll let Julie go?"

"Yes."

Then we left for the Woods Estate at breakneck speed, running red lights the whole way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In an abandoned building converted into a church, Pastor Linden sat in his office with a bound Julie, still in her blue skirted leotard and white tights from practice sat tied to a chair on the other side of the desk.

Guarding the pastor were two beefy men wearing black sweats and shoes. BOTH were sexually excited thinking about sex with Julie, their pants showed their arousal by the tenting of the crotch.

"Well Julie, by now your family should have contacted Kelly. All too soon, that abomination will be here where I shall do my Christian duty and deal with him," he sneered. ['I do it for the Church and YOU LORD.']

"Why do you call Kelly an abomination?"

"Because he chooses to be a girl when he was born a boy! Worst of all, he has corrupted the school! Luckily, I have a few followers there."

"Don't you mean to say fellow Christians?"

"HAH! ONLY MY FOLLOWERS TRULY FOLLOW GOD!! THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN FOOLED BY KELLY!" he shouted.

"Kelly has hurt no one. In fact he was hurt when a doctor gave him hormones making him go through a girl's puberty."

"So? Kelly STILL chose to dress as a girl and cause boys to lust for him. He has embraced being an abomination!"

"Well I hope that Kelly trounces you for taking me! You had no right to kidnap me!"

"Then Julie, I shall let my followers convince you otherwise> They are eager to help you see the truth."

Then the guards lifted the protesting Julie and carried her to the sofa where they lay her and raped her repeatedly. She shouted through the gag they placed in her mouth as they assaulted her until she passed out from the pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"THE PAIN!!!" Johnny shouted as he grabbed his groin and fell over.

Mister Woods lifted his son up, "What's wrong Sport?"

"IT'S JULIE!! THEY ARE RAPING HER!!!"

Then Mister Woods began crying as he laid Johnny on the sofa, "THE BASTARDS!!! THIS IS WAR!!!" he exclaimed.

Mrs. Woods came running in, "Did I hear right? Julie is being raped?!"

"Yes momma, GOD IT HURTS!!"

"WHAT?!"

"Momma, I feel Julie being raped!! I feel her pain and fear!!"

Then he fainted away from the pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The County Constable was in his office when he got the call, "Hello?"

"Sebastian, This is Chuck."

"Why Chuck!! How are things with you and your family? Last I heard, Kelly had been benched because of an injury."

"He was, but that's not why I called you."

"This sounds serious Chuck."

"Julie has been kidnapped and possibly raped by Pastor Linden!"

"DAMN!! I thought that we were rid of his ilk! I'm on my way over!"

"WAIT! There's more!"

"SPILL IT!!"

He wants Kelly!!"

Then he hung up the phone and bolted for the Woods Estate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we approached the Estate, I saw something amazing, "Momma! There's Mrs. Woods out front!"

She was there, keeping the gate open for us so that we wouldn't have to stop to open it. After we went in, she came in and shut the gate, then she got in with us as Aunt Debbie had opened the back door, "Thanks for the gate Lynn."

She began to weep, "Debbie,[sniff, sniff] I am more worried about Julie, [sniff, sniff] and Johnny seems to be bonded to her."

"WHAT!? Exclaimed momma as she braked quickly.

"That's right Terri, he felt her fear and pain of being raped."

"I'LL KILL HIM!!!" I exclaimed with tears running unashamedly down my face.

Momma drove on to the Manor House, "Kelly, my feelings exactly, but Julie's safety comes first," admonished Mrs. Woods.

"WHY DID HE TAKE HER?! WHY?!"

"To get you Kelly, to get you," replied Mrs. Woods.

Momma parked the car and we got out and Johnny grabbed me in a bear hug, "Oh Kelly! This is a nightmare!!"

Then I kissed him as e let me back down, "Don't worry Johnny, I am here to help end it."

Then we went in as a new car entered the gates, "That'll be the Sebastian, Charlie's Constable friend. He called him after he called you."

"Good, We'll need his help," stated Aunt Debbie as we went inside.

Mrs. Woods stayed at the door to let him in while we went to the dining room where Mister Woods had set out coffee for everybody, He hugged me as I approached him," Welcome back Kelly, wish it was under better circumstances."

I hugged him, "Me too Mister Woods, me too." [' LORD! Give the strength to do what I must to save Julie.']

Then Constable Sebastian entered, "OK Charlie, I'm here."

Mister Woods sighed, "Thanks old friend. Everybody sit down and I'll tell you what we know about Julie's kidnapping."

After we sat down, he continued, Johnny found a note in Julie's locker after practice with Coach Sparky. According to the note, Pastor Linden took her and wants to exchange her for Kelly. But we know that she has been raped."

"How do you know Sir?"

"I felt her pain in my body as it happened, Kelly."

I hugged Johnny, "How cruel to learn that way my brother! To be linked and feel her pain."

"There is one good thing, I know where she is."

"Then my people will rescue her."

"No Sir, THAT'S MY JOB!!"

After some arguing, it was decided that I would meet him and thanks to Johnny, I knew where they were. We got into a minibus that the Constable had arrived in and the Wood's phone has been transferred to my cell phone.

We pulled up to Pastor Linden's MIGHTY GOD CHURCH and were aghast at the gaudy display. We got out and I silently entered through the back door, leading the others. about the time that the Constable had secured the door, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kelly?"

"It is."

"Good, good. Are you ready to meet me?"

"Yes."

"Then let me tell you where I am."

"Are you not n your church?"

"Yes I am, Why?"

Then I knocked him out with a single blow to the neck. I was able to sneak up on him, "Because ASSHOLE! I am here to rescue Julie."

By that time, the others had freed Julie who was crying, "Oh Kelly!! They hurt me!!"

"Who?"

She pointed to the two guards, THEM!! THEY RAPED ME!!"

I lost it then, I jumped on both and beat on both of them. I heard bones crack, and heard cries of pain until I felt a shock and passed out.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 12-Rescue By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Kelly arrives at her grandparents farm where she is made to feel at home, and learns some family history that sheds light upon a mystery. After learning about the kidnapping of her best friend Julie Woods, Kelly decides to rescue her. But in doing so she pays a high price as she loses her innocence and learns how to hate.

---

I woke up with Aunt Debbie holding my hand, "Sorry about that, I guess that you overloaded when you heard the song about you." ['It is hard to believe that Kelly is now my niece for all intents and purposes.']

I smiled, "That's OK Aunt Debbie. I just have to get used to being a girl now. When I first saw my new look, I finally saw a woman. There was absolutely no trace of boy. Until then, I saw myself as a boy in a dress. NOW, I see myself as a girl." [' LORD, I want to say good bye to Kelly boy and hello Kelly girl. Please let Kelly boy go to Heaven.']

Then she helped me to sit up, "That's what happens I guess. For me, I woke up from surgery as a girl, boy, was I ever flat chested. So I have no idea of what you went through. You see, you're the first that I saw to get her first forms."

Then I remembered what she said about her transformation, "Oh, You mean that you were not on hormones at the time? It's hard to imagine that."

"No, Kelly, I was not at the time. For a while, I needed those breast forms until mine developed." ['Just how much is she like me, I wonder.']

"How long did it take?"

"Not long, I was fully developed after six months, and now, I produce my own."

"Oh? How is that?"

"After my surgery, the doctors found that I am inter-sexed." ['Lord, is she?']

"Inter-sexed? What's that?"

"It is where you are born with both reproductive systems, to varying degrees." ['Will she make the connection?']

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, "I could be inter-sexed, too!" ['If so, THEN Johnny and I could have children, just as she could, if ever she was to have sex with a man.']

She smiled at me, "Very likely you are. But it will be hard to tell since you were chemically castrated before puberty."

The implications began to sift through my mind," Auntie, one question."

"What is your question, as if I don't know," she smirked. ['I have yet to answer that question, but I hope to soon.']

"Can you conceive and give birth to babies?"

"I am not sure, Kelly. But I do menstruate like your mother does. So it's possible."

"Oh? How is that possible?"

"Yes, I was lucky in having a surgeon who knew about girls like me," she sighed. ['Even now, Lord, I am in awe of how you helped me.']

I smiled at her, "Girls like you, you mean inter-sexed?"

"Yes, Doctor Andrea DiMaggio helped me by not only making me a woman down below, she also counseled me on how to be one, too."

"Funny, why her, and not Granny, or Momma?"

She looked at me with understanding in her eyes, "I was totally new to being a woman, so she taught me everything about hygiene, and even about enjoying sex. And to tell the truth, I was so in awe of them that I couldn't function as a woman. "

"How did you find out?"

"I'd clam up on things that a woman should know about around them, but opened up around Andrea."

"Sounds as if you two became friends."

"Oh, we did."

"When can I meet her?"

"I doubt that you ever can, sorry."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"She married her True Love, and moved to Providence Rhode Island where they help other special girls."

Then, I thought crossed my mind, "Auntie, you one of those special girls?"

"Yes, just as you are. But there are the transgendered girls, too."

"You mean like I could be?"

"Yes, but that includes lesbians, crossdressers, intersexed, too."

Oh, like that character Drew/Gaby in that trilogy, right?"

"Yes, but in Gaby's case, she is intersexed, and a lesbian. But if Drew was androgen insensitive, then he would be a male with a woman's body."

"That Mady Bell is one cool author, isn't she?"

"Yes, she wrote her Gaby series and donated the proceeds to Mermaids. She really cares for special children."

Then I got up and saw that I was naked, "Aunt Debbie, where are my clothes?'

She passed me fresh lingerie and hose, "Here, fresh clothes for the new you. I have a shorts set for you too."

Then I donned the pantyhose, "Thanks."

After that, I donned the "33C" cup bra that was perfect for my breasts and matching red panty. "Here's the shorts set, Supergirl," she giggled.

"Why Supergirl?"

"Because you are strong to do what you're doing."

"OK, but I will feel foolish dressed like this."

"None sense! That red "S" is an iron-on logo, you can pull it off."

Yes, the shorts were red and the top was a blue long sleeved blouse with a red "S" on the left breast. I donned them, removed the logo and was handed red knee hi socks, "Aunt Debbie, you gonna have m wear red boots too?" I giggled.

"Yep. You'll be a boy magnet at Woods Family Restaurant."

"We meeting anybody?"

"Just your mother."

Then I hugged her, "Thanks Aunt Debbie," I wept.

"Anytime Kelly, anytime."

Then I donned the socks and boots and stood in front of the mirror, "Here is your purse," she said as she passed me a matching purse.

I opened the purse and saw my I.D. and other personnel items and closed the purse and kissed her, "Thanks."

Then we left her store, putting my old clothes in the trunk and headed off to eat lunch with Momma.

Meanwhile, back at the school, Johnny was heading to meet Julie after football practice was over. He was worried because she usually went to the field after cheering in the gym.

"Hey Coach Sparks! Do you know where Julie is?"

Coach Martha Diana Greene is the Head Girl's Coach in charge of the cheerleaders. She is a petite African-American with classic Nubian features. She had won several local beauty contests and was Homecoming Queen in her senior year, replacing Momma from the year before. Coach won a scholarship and went to college to become Athletics Teacher so she could return and teach cheer, dance, and gymnastics. She married Coach Henry David Sparks and became Coach Sparky because of her fiery temper when angry and outgoing attitude to her students.

She turned from where she was locking up the concession stand, "No I don't Johnny Boy. I thought that she'd be at the field with you and my husband David."

Johnny grimaced, No, she never showed up. I thought that maybe you had them practicing extra long today for some reason."

"WHAT? Not with Julie's attitude. With her being Head Cheerleader, my job is loads easier, Maybe we should check out her locker."

"OK Coach, I hope that she's there or a note. This has me worried." he sighed. ['LORD! Please let her be safe.']

"Me too Johnny, me too,"

They went down to the girl's locker room where Coach Sparky held up her hand, "Stay here until I make sure that there are no girls in there changing clothes." [' If I let him go in and see naked girls, it'd be my job.']

"Sure thing Coach, just make sure about Julie for me please." ['Julie's safety more important than more seeing naked girls.']

Then Coach went in," Johnny!! Come on in!! It's clear!!" ['Now, this is weird, why is her locker open?"']

"Where's my sister Coach, and did you open her locker? I see her favorite purse there." "DAMN!! If she ain't here, then where is she?']

"Wish I knew. HEY!! WHAT'S THIS?!" She asked as she picked up an envelope with WOODS printed on it and handed it to Johnny.

He opened it and read it, then blanched as he passed it over.

Woods family, I have kidnapped your daughter Julie Woods. She is unharmed so far. But unless you send me that abomination known as Kelly Lee Moore, Jules will suffer! I shall call you later tonight at 1000 P.M. to see if you have contacted Kelly. DO NOT trifle with me for your daughter's sake.
Reverend Linden Avery Brown

She read it and wept with anger. "WHY DOES HE WANT SWEET KELLY?! WHAT HAS KELLY EVER DONE TO HIM!?" she asked as tears flowed.

"I don't give a damn why Coach! All that I know is that I gotta go tell mom and dad!" he said in fury as he stalked to his gray Thunderbird and raced for home.

In the car, he wept as he drove, "Oh Kelly my friend. Why is he after you? Why did he take my sister? It is up to you to save her. I feel so helpless right now! Please be strong for Julie. I can sense her fright. Thanks to that bond, I can tell you where she is." Then he arrived home and bolted inside, leaving the car open on the front in his haste.

"MOM!! DAD!! COME QUICK!! JULIE'S IN TROUBLE!!" he exclaimed as he slammed the door open.

"What's wrong son? Where's Julie?" asked a perplexed Mrs. Woods as she came running from the kitchen. [' Now what has gotten my son Johnny in such an uproar? And where is Julie? Surely she is OK.']

Johnny held out the now crumpled note to her, "Here! Read this! It'll explain EVERYTHING!" he proclaimed with conviction as he wept. ['LORD! What can I do but pray right now? I need momma and daddy!']

She read the note and wailed, "NO!!! NOT JULIE!!!" Then she crumbled as she fainted from the shock, but Johnny caught her and gently carried her to a sofa in the living room.

"Johnny" Why has your mother fainted?" asked Mister Woods as he came in from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner.

"Here, read this, momma did," said Johnny as he passed over the damning note.

"THAT BASTARD!! HE IS STILL PRACTICING HIS FILTH AFTER HE HURT DEBBIE!! THIS TIME!! HE WILL DIE!!" he exclaimed as he baled up his fists and wept.

"Dad, should I call the police?" [' I have not thought about them ever since Mister Moore died. He was the best.']

"No son, we will call my friend the County Constable . We are in his jurisdiction, not the city's. Besides, he hates that defrocked preacher too."

Then Mrs. Woods awoke, "Yes Charlie, we must make him pay for taking our daughter Julie. But we need to call Kelly as well so that she can help." [' Oh Kelly, I never thought that this would happen.']

We met momma at Wood's All American Restaurant where there were an assembly of campers and R.V.'s with a banner announcing the Costumer's Convention, "You knew about this Aunt Debbie." I giggled.

"Yes, several of them needed my help with their costumes."

Then I stopped just before we went in, "People like me?" ['Can there be THAT many boys that want to be girls in the city?']

Then Aunt Debbie giggled, "No silly goose, there are a few men that like to either dress as women for fun or

women who need help with their assets when wearing costumes. No Kelly, there is only one you."['There's no need to tell her about the entire gamut of all of my customers and their needs.']

Then we went in and saw superheroes and their opponents throughout the restaurant, but around the buffet, there were empty seats for the regular customers. We were greeted by a hostess wearing a white blouse with matching pantyhose, black knee length skirt with matching loafers and a red blazer. "Welcome Debbie, is this your niece Kelly?"

"Yes it is Diana; we're here to meet her mother, Terri Moore. Is she here?" she asked while scanning the place.

Then we heard Momma, "Over here Kelly!" She was standing by a table with her purse on it.

"Well, I guess that's her there," Diana smirked as she led us to Momma.

"How do you know Diana, Aunt Debbie?" [' I wonder, could she be one of Auntie Debbie's school friends?']

"Diana is like us, she use to be David," she whispered to me.

"Wow! She looks so natural."

"That's because she took hormones while a preteen and developed a girl's body."

"Isn't that unusual?"

"Yes, but in her case, she had an accident that took her boy bits, so her parents let her transition to a girl early."

"She wanted to be a girl?"

"Yes."

"Cool! Glad her parents let her. I wonder if I'll look that good," I sighed.

Aunt Debbie put her hand on my shoulder, "You look THAT good now, Kelly!"

Then I hugged her, "Thanks."

By that time, we were at the table and were seated. Diana took our drink order and we went to buffet where I loaded up on tuna and potato salad and clam chowder, my favorites.

I was seated, waiting for them, "Kelly, aren't you being a bit of a pig?" asked Momma as she sat down.

"Momma, you know that I am quite active and that I burn off the calories." ['Is she getting on to me because I am in girl mode?']

Momma sighed, "Yes, I know that Kelly, but you're no longer that active. You need to cut back now or you will balloon on up. Now tell me, do you want to look like a beach ball or called a whale or a pig?" [' I hate having to do this, but she needs to change her eating habits or work out.']

Then Aunt Debbie hugged me, "Terri is right. When I transitioned, I had to watch what I ate because of the hormones." [' At least Kelly has the advantage of being given those hormones before puberty.']

"Momma, Aunt Debbie, I will do as you say, but right now, I am famished. And Momma, you know that I only eat one plate."

"OK Kelly, just looking after you."

We had a scrumptious meal and I told them about my adventures as Kelly girl and why. Until then, I never thought about why I let myself be talked into being Kelly girl, now I knew why. I felt complete when I was Kelly girl. As Kelly boy, I loved sports and was never considered weak or a sissy by my teammates or fellow students.

It was only recently that being Kelly girl became more important than being Kelly boy when I finally accepted Kelly girl as the real me that things had changed. Now I needed to ground myself in what being a girl means.

As we finished our meal, momma received a call on her cell phone, "Hello?"

"Yes, Kelly is here. Why?"

"MY GOD!! ARE YOU SURE?"

"We're on our way!"

"Julie was kidnapped by that defrocked preacher. He wants Kelly."

"You mean that he wants me to go to him and he'll let Julie go?"

"Yes."

Then we left for the Woods Estate at breakneck speed, running red lights the whole way.

In an abandoned building converted into a church, Pastor Linden sat in his office with a bound Julie, still in her blue skirted leotard and white tights from practice sat tied to a chair on the other side of the desk. Guarding the pastor were two beefy men wearing black sweats and shoes. BOTH were sexually excited thinking about sex with Julie, their pants showed their arousal by the tenting of the crotch, "Well Julie, by now your family should have contacted Kelly. All too soon, that abomination will be here where I shall do my Christian duty and deal with him," he sneered. ['I do it for the Church and YOU LORD.']

"Why do you call Kelly an abomination?"

"Because he chooses to be a girl when he was born a boy! Worst of all, he has corrupted the school! Luckily, I have a few followers there."

"Don't you mean to say fellow Christians?"

"HAH! ONLY MY FOLLOWERS TRULY FOLLOW GOD!! THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN FOOLED BY KELLY!" he shouted.

"Kelly has hurt no one. In fact he was hut when a doctor gave him hormones making him go through a girl's puberty."

"So? Kelly STILL chose to dress as a girl and cause boys to lust for him. He has embraced being an abomination!"

"Well I hope that Kelly trounces you for taking me! You had no right to kidnap me!"

"Then Julie, I shall let my followers convince you otherwise, they are eager to help you see the truth."

Then the guards lifted the protesting Julie and carried her to the sofa where they lay her and raped her repeatedly. She shouted through the gag they placed in her mouth as they assaulted her until she passed out from the pain.

"THE PAIN!!!" Johnny shouted as he grabbed his groin and fell over.

Mister Woods lifted his son up, "What's wrong Sport?"

"IT'S JULIE!! THEY ARE RAPING HER!!!"

Then Mister Woods began crying as he laid Johnny on the sofa, "THE BASTARDS!!! THIS IS WAR!!!" he exclaimed.

Mrs. Woods came running in, "Did I hear right? Julie is being raped?!"

"Yes Momma, GOD IT HURTS!!"

"WHAT?!"

"Momma, I feel Julie being raped!! I feel her pain and fear!!"

Then he fainted away from the pain.

The County Constable was in his office when he got the call,"Hello?"

"Sebastian, This is Chuck."

"Why Chuck!! How are things with you and your family? Last I heard, Kelly had been benched because of an injury."

"He was, but that's not why I called you."

"This sounds serious Chuck."

"Julie has been kidnapped and possibly raped by Pastor Linden!"

"DAMN!! I thought that we were rid of his ilk! I'm on my way over!"

"WAIT! There's more!"

"SPILL IT!!"

He wants Kelly!!"

Then he hung up the phone and bolted for the Woods Estate.

As we approached the Estate, I saw something amazing, "Momma! There's Mrs. Woods out front!"

She was there, keeping the gate open for us so that we wouldn't have to stop to open it. After we went in, she came in and shut the gate, then she got in with us as Aunt Debbie had opened the back door, "Thanks for the gate Lynn ."

She began to weep, "Debbie, [sniff, sniff] I am more worried about Julie, [sniff, sniff and Johnny seems to be bonded to her."

"WHAT!? exclaimed momma as she braked quickly.

"That's right Terri, he felt her fear and pain of being raped."

"I'LL KILL HIM!!!" I exclaimed with tears running unashamedly down my face.

Momma drove on to the Manor House, "Kelly, my feelings exactly, but Julie's safety comes first," admonished Mrs. Woods.

"WHY DID HE TAKE HER?! WHY?!"

"To get you Kelly, to get you," replied Mrs. Woods.

Momma parked the car and we got out and Johnny grabbed me in a bear hug, "Oh Kelly! This is a nightmare!!"

Then I kissed him as he let me back down, "Don't worry Johnny, I am here to help end it."

Then we went in as a new car entered the gates, "That'll be the Sebastian, Charlie's Constable friend. He called him after he called you."

"Good, We'll need his help," stated Aunt Debbie as we went inside.

Mrs. Woods stayed at the door to let him in while we went to the dining room where Mister Woods had set out coffee for everybody, He hugged me as I approached him," Welcome back Kelly, wish it was under better circumstances."

I hugged him, "Me too Mister Woods, me too." [' LORD! Give the strength to do what I must to save Julie.']

Then Constable Sebastian entered, "OK Charlie, I'm here."

Mister Woods sighed, "Thanks old friend. Everybody sit down and I'll tell you what we know about Julie's kidnapping."

After we sat down, he continued, Johnny found a note in Julie's locker after practice with Coach Sparky. According to the note, Pastor Linden took her and wants to exchange her for Kelly. But we know that she has been raped."

"How do you know Sir?"

"I felt her pain in my body as it happened Kelly."

I hugged Johnny, "How cruel to learn that way my brother! To be linked and feel her pain."

"There is one good thing, I know where she is."

"Then my people will rescue her."

"No Sir, THAT'S MY JOB!!"

After some arguing, it was decided that I would meet him and thanks to Johnny, I knew where they were. We got into a minibus that the Constable had arrived in and the Wood's phone has been transferred to my cell phone.

We pulled up to Pastor Linden's MIGHTY GOD CHURCH and were aghast at the gaudy display. We got out and I silently entered through the back door, leading the others. About the time that the Constable had secured the door, my pone rang.

"Hello?"

"Is this Kelly?"

"It is."

"Good, good. Are you ready to meet me?"

"Yes."

"Then let me tell you where I am."

"Are you not in your church?"

"Yes I am, Why?"

Then I knocked him out with a single blow to the neck. I was able to sneak up on him, "Because ASSHOLE! I am here to rescue Julie."

By that time, the others had freed Julie who was crying, "Oh Kelly!! They hurt me!!"

"Who?"

She pointed to the two guards, THEM!! THEY RAPED ME!!"

I lost it then, I jumped on both and beat on both of them. I heard bones crack as I let my anger consume me. When they got up, their gun arm was hanging uselessly from their dislocated shoulder.

"YOU BASTARDS! YOU RAPED MY SISTER! NOW, YOU WILL PAY!"

They pulled out long knives and came at me, slashing away, intent upon murder. I vaulted over them and kicked their unharmed shoulders, dislocating it, and then when they were down, ended their manhood with a vicious blow, rupturing the sacks.

They tried to get up, but I grabbed their guns, thusly causing them to stop, "BEFORE NOW, I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO HATE! BUT YOU TWO, AND YOUR LEADER HAVE CHANGED THAT! WHO ARE YOU?"

The dark haired goon looked like Ricardo Montoban from Fantasy Island , but younger, "I am Morrison Avery, his cousin."

The red haired goon looked like Lou Ferrigno, "I am Nelson Avery, another cousin, Morrison's brother."

"Why should I not trounce either of you?"

"You trounce me or my cousin? Surely you jest," chuckled Nelson.

"Little girl, WE will trounce you, and rape you as we did your slutty friend." leered Morrison.

I swift kicked him in the solar plexus, "I have a black belt in karate, and other arts. So, do your selves a favor and do not tempt me!"

By that time, my enemy returned to consciousness, "So, the abomination chooses to parlay with my family, eh? Go ahead, they listen to me," he laughed.

I looked right at hin, knowing that Julie was in terror of him, "So, you had your cousin rape my sister Julie. Just how is that ordained by your god?"

"They simply showed her their power over her to show her that to defy my teachings is to defy my master."

"No, you are so wrong! you have corrupted the Bible into your abominal teachings that support your warped values."

Then, Julie came over, being helped by a stranger, "Kelly, this is Mike. He is OK. He never touched me. In fact, he tried to stop them."

I nodded, "Mike, Why are you here?"

"I Love Julie. And even though I was powerless to stop her from being raped, I have ben trying to comfort her."

"So, you have corrupted Micheal, my chosen successor. You will all be destroyed."

I lost it then, I jumped on both and beat on both of them. I heard bones crack, and heard cries of pain until I felt a shock and passed out.

---

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 11: Aftermath By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After Kelly has saved her best friend and soul sister from the kidnapper Pastor Linden, she must face her hatred and overcome it or live with bitterness as her heart grows cold and bitter.

 

---

I woke up on a couch in the pastor's study, I saw him still unconscious and the bodies of the guards bloodied from my attack. I tried to get up, but I got dizzy and lay back down. Then I saw my still bloodied hands and I lost it.

 

"NO!! NO!! WHY?! OH WHY?!"

I remembered me attacking them without mercy and landing deadly blows that struck with a sickening finality as I heard bones crack and their bodies contort into gruesome shapes in what I thought was death.

I had been raised to seek forgiveness and reconciliation of differences. Yet I had chosen to maim, kill, and destroy using the skills I learned that taught peace and serenity. I had broken my word to not use my skills to hurt others. This was the price to pay.


Then Mister Woods came and hugged me, "Why what Kelly?" ['DEAR LORD! Kelly needs your help! My Godchild is suffering, and I am helpless to do anything!! What can I do other than call Pastor Pat?']

"Why did they hurt Julie Poppa? [sniff, sniff] Why hurt her when they wanted me?" I wailed as I soaked his shirt with my tears.

He stroked my head, "I don't now Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I don't know. [sniff, sniff] But I do know this." [' Why is he calling me poppa?']

"What's that poppa?"

"You saved Julie from being hurt anymore." ['Why Kelly!! LORD, Why must she sacrifice herself? I was ready to rescue my daughter, but Kelly jumped in and was a dynamo!! Now she is in distress!! I feel so helpless!! Please LORD, help my Godchild because I do not know what to do to comfort
her!']

"But they hurt her! [sniff, sniff] Oh! How I HATE them!! [sniff, sniff] I want them to DIE!" I exclaimed as I beat on his chest. He simply grunted and let me pummel his strong chest in my rage and fury.

Mrs. Woods then hugged me as Mister Woods began crying silently, "Kelly, you must release that hate or become bitter," she admonished me as she wiped away my tears. ['Kelly has been grievously hurt by the ordeal. LORD! How can I comfort my distressed Godchild. I am afraid that she may suicide in her despair.']

"But how? My heart is full of hate!! I am not worthy of love anymore!" I wailed as I held up my bloodied hands. "How can anyone love me NOW!!" I wailed as I brandished my hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the stain on my heart.

Then momma hugged me as I beat upon her back, "I LOVE YOU KELLY!! [sniff, sniff] NEVER FORGET THAT!!" she declared as she wept or me. ['My child! My child! Don't be crying! The LORD
will heal you!!']

"Oh momma! I am broken!! What good am I?! Why am I still living? Why am I not dead as they are?' ['Please LORD!! Take e home!!']

Then she cupped my chin in her hand, "Kelly, remember this, My child! My child! Don't cry! The LORD will heal you!!" ['LORD. Please tell me!! Why must my child suffer so for helping her friend Julie?']

Then I saw only blackness, "LORD! I HOPE SO!! But I have no hope," I sighed as I sank into black despair. All that I saw was a bleak world void of color, filled with the pain and anguish of the hopeless.

Then momma handed me to Johnny, "Oh Kelly! You saved my sister Julie when I couldn't!! I am here for you lil' sister!! I will never let you go!!" [' She has suffered from loving me, now she suffers from loving Julie. Is Kelly doomed to suffer from loving others? I fell in love with her years ago when she was Tinkerbelle for Halloween. Since then, I have seen her confront and overcome obstacles in her way. NOW she has met something beyond her ability to cope with. LORD! Please help my beloved! For I am helpless to help her myself.']

Then a light broke through as his love pierced my despair, "Thank you Johnny! I did it for both of you and would again, no matter the cost to me. Even if it means suffering as I am now, I would gladly pay the price," I sighed in resignation of having no hope. ['LORD! Even though I have no HOPE, I ask YOU to help me to get through this.']

"I know my sister, but now you need to rest and recover your spirit. Come and see Julie, she wants to see you," ['Even now, I can feel her anguish over the rape. LORD, give me the WISDOM to help her, to help them both.']

Johnny carried me over to where Julie lay, her uniform in tatters, hose ripped, but covered with a white sheet that preserved her modesty. She looked at me and smiled as tears unashamedly ran down her face, "Kelly thanks for rescuing me," she said as she kissed me on the cheek. [' She did it for me and now she suffers.']

"I wish that I could have done more, or taken your place," I sighed. ['Maybe rape would be better than this despair.']

Julie opened the sheet and Johnny laid me by her and she snuggled up to me and held me as I dried her tears, "Kelly, you stopped them from hurting me, that's enough! In fact, it's MORE than enough," she said with conviction as her eyes moistened with tears of love. ['My friend is paying too high of a price for me.']

"But Julie! You simply don't understand my pain! I killed them, I am a MURDERER!! I deserve DEATH!!" I wailed out my torment of black despair as I held out my bloodied hands and saw where I had left blood on her cheeks, I saw no hope for myself and prison as my only reward for my sin.

Then the Constable placed his hand on my shoulder, "No Kelly, they're alive, you didn't kill them. I stunned you before you could. The blood on your hands comes from their bloodied noses." ['She's committed no crime but that of helping her friend if such is a crime. I'll do what I can to shield her from harm."]

Then I looked up at him, as Johnny gently covered me and Julie up with another blanket. Once again my heart saw the LIGHT of HOPE. "You mean that they will live?"

"Yes, but for their reward for causing such pain and anguish, none of them will ever father children from what you did to them," he chuckled. ['Kelly has given them a most apt punishment. When they go to prison, their stay will be a living hell as they cope with the effects of the attack.']

Then I grasped what he said and smirked, "They deserved it. Now I don't feel so bad, but I still need to rest," I said as I lay by Julie who raised the sheet. ['I am not a killer. I did not kill in my anger thanks to him. Thank you LORD for keeping me from committing such a crime. I know that I would have killed if not I had not have been stopped by Poppa Woods friend Constable Sebastian.']

As I went to sleep, Pastor Patrick came in, he spoke with the others about what happened, and then he came over to us, "Julie, is there anything that I or the Church can do for you?" He asked with tears in his eyes. ['That bastard Linden will pay for this abomination of justice if I can do anything at all to help! One thing that I CAN do is take away his church since I am the Head of the Tri-County Church Council.']

Julie shook her head, "No sir, momma and daddy are taking me to the hospital to make sure that I am OK, I need to know if they got me pregnant or gave me some S.T.D. when they assaulted me, but Kelly needs you," she said as she hugged me. ['Buck up Kelly, Pastor Patrick is here for you my sister.']

I held her hands in mine, "I know that my sister, but I also need to make sure about YOU. If you are pregnant by them, we, I will be there for you. I will give up being a girl and marry you." ['I must be strong for my sister, but how can I LORD? I truly want to be a girl, but I will sacrifice for my sister.']

Then she hugged him, "Thanks, I guess that I might need to talk about what happened to me if that's alright that is. I've heard that sharing a burden halves it ever since you have been my Pastor. I hope that it's true. And if I am pregnant, I will accept your proposal Kelly. But I hope I am not."

Wiping her tears, Pastor Patrick smiled as he saw our deep love for each other. "Yes, that's alright. Now I need to see about Kelly." [LORD! Help me to help these poor children, Their love is a Testimony of Your Grace.']

"OK."

Then he laid his hands on me, "LORD. Kelly has been sorely hurt in her spirit by what happened. She has found bitterness and hatred now. Please help the wounded child to conquer the bitterness and hatred so that her soul is not darkened. I ask YOU
to give her peace so that she may say that it is well with her soul. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN!" ['There, I have done all that I can do for Kelly. The rest is up to YOU my LORD.']

"Thank you Pastor Patrick. [yawn] I know that things will be better for me now. [yawn] If y'all don't mind, [yawn] I need to take a nap." ['Is this YOU LORD helping me? All that I know is that I am at PEACE now and that is enough for now.']

Then Julie fluffed up my pillow and kissed me, "Me too Kelly, me too." ['This is the first time that we have taking a nap together without supervision.']

Nobody objected and they came over to give us both a kiss and hug good night. Julie and I giggled as Pastor Patrick's beard tickled us. They left us there, curled up together as we snuggled down to sleep. Even though I could have, I did not arouse at the thought of sex with Julie, I saw her as my sister, NOT my lover. Then I had a dream.

I saw daddy sitting on a rock, with his arms open wide, "Welcome back Kelly, you have been sorely hurt! Be at Peace my child, and rest from your weary load and find refreshment "he grinned.

 

I jumped into his arms and he held me safe and secure as I snuggled up to him and kissed and hugged him, "Thank you daddy, I love you so much." I felt safe and secure in his arms and felt my darkness fade away.

He looked into my sad and weary eyes as I released my despair and anger from my heart, "Yes my child, rest from your weary load and heavy burden. You have been through the valley of despair and bitterness. Now it is time to release that anger and hatred so that you may be whole again my child."

"But how daddy? Right now I feel safe and secure, but I still feel the burden of hatred and anger deep within me that even now I can't get rid of. Can you help me get rid of them, or do I go to Jesus," I sighed as I wondered with a smattering of hope what could be done to help me.

Then he motioned to a group of angels carrying a variety of musical instruments, "Listen to the song and learn."

"What song daddy?"

Then I heard angels sing the song "GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS." As I listened, my heart broke as the pain of the anger, bitterness and hatred was lifted and replaced with the JOY OF THE LORD. When the song was over, I looked up as an angel approached us. If mythical Helen of Troy was so beautiful that she launched a thousand ships, HERE was the face that would easily win her heart.

He was both tall and strong, with a ready smile and a twinkle in his eyes, "Hello there, which angel are you?" I asked as I held out my hand.

He gently shook my hand, engulfing it in his big, meaty palm, "I am the Archangel Gabriel, Young Warrior. I have come to help you in your need," he warmly smiled as I saw his wings fold down upon his shoulders.

I looked from him to my daddy in confusion as my daddy chuckled, "Young warrior? I am not any sort of warrior. Daddy here was a Police Officer on Earth, not me. Now why do you call me Young Warrior?"

Then my daddy hugged me, "Because you have fought a Great Battle in your young Life and won a victory that very few could ever hope to accomplish in their lives Kelly. I am very proud of you my child."

"But Gabriel and daddy, I don't feel victorious at all. I feel all yucky and gross inside as if I am full of something rotten and not worthy of even being here. If that makes sense to you," I sighed and looked down, ashamed to admit to my admission of failure and defeat.

Then he took hold of my chin and turned my face towards him, "Kelly, Young Warrior, by taking on those who kidnapped Julie and defeating them, THAT was your victory, and then by giving up the anger, bitterness and hatred that it caused, you have sealed it. And none could have done any better."

Then I smiled sheepishly and blushed, thankful for his kindness, "Well, funny thing is that even though I gave them up, I still feel all hollow inside. Gabriel, can you please tell me Why is that is."

Then he looked at me and grinned I could see a merry twinkle in his eyes, " Kelly, the reason for that is very simple. It is because you have YET to give them all over to the MASTER," replied Gabriel.

"How do I do that Gabriel?"

Then another angel came up, while Gabriel was dark haired with blue eyes, this one was red haired with green eyes. He held out a dark sphere with traces of red through out, "You must give THIS to the MASTER Kelly."

I took the bauble from him, What is this and who are you?"

"I am the Archangel Michael. What I handed to you is the burden that weighed you down from the ordeal. Now, once you give it over to the MASTER, then you will be free of it and its weight forever more."

Then I saw my life was now freed of the ordeal and the Joy of Life once again filling me, "May I hug the two of you?"

They looked at each other and light danced in their eyes, "Yes, just let you father hold the bauble," they chorused.

Then I handed daddy the bauble and hugged the angels who both smiled sheepishly, then flew away as a pearlescent light approached us, "Well Kelly, you have certainly given my Archangels Gabriel and Michael much to ponder, he chuckled.

"JESUS!!" I exclaimed as I jumped into HIS awaiting arms. I felt even safer in His arms than my daddy's.

"Yes, young Kelly, it is I, I bid you welcome to Heaven my sweet child," he smiled as HE wiped away my tears of JOY.

Then I suddenly thought about Julie and her ordeal and my Heart needed an answer, "Will Julie be OK?"

"Yes, she is here now, she is being healed of her pain and despair so that she will not have any nightmares and be able to give her love to her husband. When she marries she will not remember the ordeal's pain."

"Am I to be her husband?"

"Only you can decide to ask her."

"OK, Oh yeah! I have a burden to give you."

Then he held the bauble, "You mean this."

"Yes, I thought that daddy had it though."

"When you freely gave up your burden, you gave it to me."

"What happens to it now?"

"As with all such, I send it as far as the East is from the West."

"OK Jesus, I feel that it is time to go for some reason," I sighed.

"It is Kelly, go say bye to your father then you shall awaken."

Then I kissed Jesus," Bye Jesus."

Then I went to my daddy who opened his arms, "So long Kelly."

I kissed him," Bye daddy."

Then when I awoke, I found that I was in my bed in the Playhouse with Julie snuggled up by me. We were both wearing matching tops, shorts and hose of white. As I looked at her smiling face, I began thinking about her and what she meant to me.

 

Did I think of her as just my sister? Did I want to be her lover? COULD I be her lover? Did she want me to be her brother? Did she want me to be her sister? Did she want me to be her lover? Could I be the Father of her children?

As I pondered these questions, Julie awoke with a smile, "Morning Beautiful, how long have you been awake?" [' What a night! That dream seems to have erased my nightmare for me.']

"For about an hour, I've been thinking about us too." ['Now it is time to see if things have changed between us.']

She lay on her side, Oh? What about us? Should I be worried?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

I turned to her, "Whether we are sisters or more than that. Last night kinda makes me wonder," I sighed.

Then she gently stroked my cheek, "Please don't wonder Kelly. I can give you the answer you are seeking." ['Usually it is Kelly that is comforting me. NOW it is my sister that needs for me to comfort her.']

"Why?"

"Because you ARE my brother or sister depending on who you choose to be. I know that you love me as a sister, and truthfully, that is more than enough for me." ['It has taken me until now for me to be able to admit it.']

"So, am I forgiven for dropping you as my girlfriend?" I sighed as I remembered the Hell that we both went through not long ago.

Then she kissed me gently on the lips, "You were forgiven long ago." ['And now I can give you what you need.']

Then I kissed her in return, "Thanks my sister. I just wish that I knew how I feel right now," I sighed.

Then she grinned "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Tell me this Kelly my sister, do you want to be a girl?"

"Yes."

Then it's simple, really."

Oh?"

"You are NOT a lesbian, Right?"

"Right. I like boys, especially Johnny."

"There you go sister."

After that, we got up and went down to breakfast and got on with our lives. Julie's exam showed that she was clean of any S.T.D. and other than being sore, was basically sound. She never had any nightmares from the ordeal and faithfully attended the support group where she met Andrew Barbabas Taylor whom she started dating soon after.

Johnny went to counseling about his part of the ordeal and learned about the pain that victims go through. He decided then to devote himself to becoming a Police Officer like my daddy. He went to college and earned degrees in counseling, and athletics.

Constable Sebastian made sure that Pastor Linden and his followers went to prison and the church was disbanded. But in its place the Tri-County Counseling Center was formed and run by Pastor Patrick's son Pat Junior who helped many people with their problems.

After breakfast, we got together to talk about what happened to us with the others. We talked about our respective dreams and how JESUS had spoken to us and how HE had taken away our burden and despair.

 

When we were finished, everybody gave us a group hug and promised to be there for us if we ever needed them for anything. Then we left the building and the Constable handed the keys to the building over to Pastor Patrick.

"Thank you Constable, the Council will decide what to do with this closed church."

"The only reason that I'm doing this is because the Tri-County Church Council was given the right by the Constitution."

Then we all left and went on our way after I had hugged and kissed momma and the Woods good bye for now. As I drove us back to the farm, I began to ponder what my life would be like now that I ready for my new life.

 

 

 

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 13- Aftermath By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: After Kelly has saved her best friend and soul sister from the kidnapper Pastor Linden, she must face her hatred and overcome it or live with bitterness as her heart grows cold and bitter.

---

* * *

I woke up on a couch in the pastor's study, I saw him still unconscious and the bodies of the guards bloodied from my attack. I tried to get up, but I got dizzy and lay back down. Then I saw my still bloodied hands and I lost it.

"NO!! NO!! WHY?! OH WHY?!"

Then Mister Woods came and hugged me, "Why what Kelly?" ['DEAR LORD! Kelly needs your help! My Godchild is suffering, and I am helpless to do anything!! What can I do other than call Pastor Pat?']

"Why did they hurt Julie Poppa?[sniff,sniff] Why hurt her when they wanted me?" I wailed as I soaked his shirt with my tears.['I am a failure, LORD! I am broken.']

He stroked my head, "I don't now Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I don't know. [sniff, sniff] But I do know this." [' Why is she calling me Poppa?']

I looked up at him with pleading eyes, "What's that, Poppa?" ['Did I actually do something, good?']

He cupped my chin in his hand, "You saved Julie from being hurt anymore." ['Why Kelly!! LORD, Why must she sacrifice herself? I was ready to rescue my daughter, but Kelly jumped in and was a dynamo!! Now she is in distress!! I feel so helpless!! Please LORD, help my Godchild because I do not know what to do to comfort her!']

"But they hurt her![sniff,sniff] Oh! How I HATE them!! [sniff,sniff] I want them to DIE!" I exclaimed as I beat on his chest. He simply grunted and let me pummel his strong chest in my rage and fury. I felt that I should have been in her place. They hurt her because of me, simply because I was me, refusing to conform to their rigid rules.

Then Mrs. Woods hugged me as Mister Woods began crying silently, "Kelly, you must release that hate or become bitter," she admonished me as she wiped away my tears. ['Kelly has been grievously hurt by the ordeal. LORD! How can I comfort my distressed Godchild. I am afraid that she may suicide in her despair.']

"But how? My heart is full of hate!! I am not worthy of love anymore!" I wailed as I held up my bloodied hands. "How can anyone love me NOW!!" I wailed as I brandished my hands in a futile attempt to get rid of the stain on my heart.

Then Momma hugged me as I beat upon her chest, "I LOVE YOU KELLY!! [sniff, sniff]NEVER FORGET THAT!!" she declared as she wept for me. ['My child! My child! Don't be crying! The LORD will heal you!!']

I looked up at her, "Oh, Momma! I am broken!! What good am I?! Why am I still living? Why am I not dead as they are?' ['Please LORD!! Take e home!!']

Then she cupped my chin in her hand, "Kelly, remember this, My child! My child! Don't be crying! The LORD will heal you!!" ['LORD. Please tell me!! Why must my child suffer so for helping her friend Julie?']

Then I saw only blackness, "LORD! I HOPE SO!! But I have no hope," I sighed as I sank into black despair. All that I saw was a bleak world void of color, filled with the pain and anguish of the hopeless.

Then Momma handed me to Johnny, "Oh Kelly! You saved my sister Julie when I couldn't!! I am here for you lil' sister!! I will never let you go!!" [' She has suffered from loving me, now she suffers from loving Julie. Is Kelly doomed to suffer from loving others? I fell in love with her years ago when she was Tinkerbell for Halloween. Since then, I have seen her confront and overcome obstacles in her way. NOW she has met something beyond her ability to cope. LORD! Please, help my beloved! For I am helpless to help her, myself.']

Then a light broke through has his love pierced my despair, "Thanks Johnny! I did it for both of you and would again, no matter the cost to me. Even if it means suffering as I am now, I would gladly pay the price," I sighed in resignation of having no hope. ['LORD! Even though I have no HOPE, I ask YOU to help me to get through this.']

He hugged me, then took my hand, "I know, my sister, but now you need to rest and recover your spirit. Come and see Julie, she wants to see you," ['Even now, I can feel her anguish over the rape. LORD, give me the WISDOM to help her,to help them both.']

Johnny carried me over to where Julie lay, her uniform in tatters, hose ripped, but covered with a white sheet that preserved her modesty. Johnny let me down by the sofa where she was resting fitfully. I could tell that she as reliving her rape from the body language and silent screams that were echoed in Johnny's tears. I could tell that he was feeling her pain, even now and knew not how to deal with it.

So, I placed my hand on her shoulder, and shook her, "Julie, wake up."

She looked at me and smiled as tears unashamedly ran down her face, "Kelly, thanks for rescuing me," she said as she kissed me on the cheek. ['But even now, I relive that nightmare.']

"But Julie, you were raped because of me. Look at my hands, see what I did to them?"

She let her tears cleanse my hands, "You did what you could for me." [' She did it for me and now she suffers.']

"I wish that I could have done more, or taken your place," I sighed. ['I wish that it had been me, not her.']

"No, Kelly. It was me. And some good came out of this, too."

"You mean Mark?"

"Yes. he was a balm upon me during my ordeal."

"But one you endured because of me." ['Maybe rape would be better than this despair.']

Julie opened the sheet and Johnny laid me by her and she snuggled up to me and held me as I dried her tears, "Kelly, you stopped them from hurting me, that's enough! In fact, it's MORE than enough," she said with conviction as her eyes moistened with tears of love. ['My friend is paying too high of a price for me.']

"But Julie! You simply don't understand my pain! I killed them, I am a MURDERER!! I deserve DEATH!!" I wailed out my torment of black despair as I held out my bloodied hands and saw where I had left blood on her cheeks, I saw no hope for myself and prison as my only reward for my sin.

I had been taught that murderers should be in prison to keep the public safe from harm. But because of my black belts in martial arts, the use of deadly force against others meant jail time. I was afraid, afraid that in prison, that I would be constantly raped due to my small size. and feminine body.

Then the Constable placed his hand on my shoulder, "No Kelly, they live, you did not kill them, he smiled. ['Seeing her in action was a thing of beauty, and terror. I couldn't let Stu's only child go to jail, not even mine.']

I look at him with hope in my eyes, "Oh?? happened, then?"

"Kelly, I stunned you before you could. The blood on your hands comes from their bloodied noses." ['She has committed no crime but that of helping her friend if such is a crime. I will do what I can to shield her from harm."]

Then I looked up at him, as Johnny gently covered me and Julie up with another blanket. Once again my heart saw the LIGHT of HOPE. "You mean that they will live?"

"Yes, but for their reward for causing such pain and anguish, none of them will ever father children from what you did to them," he chuckled. ['Kelly has given them a most apt punishment. When they go to prison, their stay will be a living hell as they cope with the effects of the attack.']

Then I grasped what he said and smirked, "They deserved it. No I don't feel so bad, but I still need to rest," I said as I lay by Julie who raised the sheet. ['I am not a killer. I did not kill in my anger thanks to him. Thank you LORD for keeping me from committing such a crime. I know that I would have killed if not I had not have been stopped by Poppa Woods friend Constable Sebastian.']

As I went to sleep, Pastor Patrick came in, he spoke with the others about what happened, then he came over to us, "Julie, is there anything that I or the Church can do for you?" He asked with tears in his eyes. ['That bastard Linden will pay for this abomination of justice if I can do anything at all to help! One thing that I CAN do is take away his church since I am the Head of the Tri-County Church Council.']

Julie shook her head, "No sir, Momma and Daddy are taking me to the hospital to make sure that I am OK, I need to know if they got me pregnant or gave me some S.T.D. when they assaulted me, but Kelly needs you," she said as she hugged me. ['Buck up Kelly, Pastor Patrick is here for you my sister.']

I held her hands in mine, "I know that my sister, but I also need to make sure about YOU. If you are pregnant by them, we, I will be there for you. I will give up being a girl and marry you." ['I must be strong for my sister, but how can I LORD? I truly want to be a girl, but I will sacrifice for my sister.']

"Kelly, you do not need to give up our dream of being a girl, Mark is there for me."

Then, I looked around, "Where is he, then?"

Constable Sebastian smiled, "Since he was a part of the gang, Mark is at the station giving a statement. After that, he'll be free to go."

* * *

While Constable Sebastian was with us, Daddy's friend Police Chief was with Mark in a Police S.W.A.T. van, taking his statement.This van was used as a mobile head quarters for the Tri-County Special Weapons And Tactics team led by the Constable's son, but retired Police Chief Harold Oscar Branch because of his experience, conducted all interview sessions.

After retirement, he found that he was restless, and used his connections to become a private investigator, but his son, Augustus found out about it, and told Constable Sebastian. When he learned about his best friends restlessness, he told his son who was looking for an experienced interviewer. He hired the chief when he found out, but in order to protect his retirement, was brought in as a volunteer.

Hob; as retired Police Chief Harold Oscar Branch is known as helps to organise the teams into a more effective network, combining with the Tri-County Police which patrols the cities while the Tri-County Constabulary patrols the towns and farms. By this action, Hob was able to make all of the S.W.A.T. teams better by having the members train the others, combining their different skills until they were all competent in multiple skills.

Hob was also able to recruit veterans with special skills to train the teams in their skills, making the S.W.A.T. teams a very valuable commodity that allowed for the members to enjoy advantages when recruited to other law enforcement forces, the military, or civilian life. In fact, Hob and his other volunteers enjoy discounts from area businesses in honor of their dedication to duty

* * *

Then she hugged him, "Thanks, I guess that I might need to talk about what happened to me if that's alright, that is. I've heard that sharing a burden halves it ever since you have been my Pastor. I hope that it's true. And if I am pregnant, I will accept your proposal Kelly. But I hope I am not." ['Kelly has given up way too much already. Losing her daddy, then her masculinity that led to her becoming a girl. No, I loved Kelly when she was a bot, and would have married him, but now I have found Mark.']

Wiping her tears, Pastor Patrick smiled as he saw our deep love for each other. "Yes, that's alright. Now I need to see about Kelly." [LORD! Help me to help these poor children, Their love is a Testimony of Your Grace.']

"OK."

Then he laid his hands on me, "LORD. Kelly has been sorely hurt in her spirit by what happened. She has found bitterness and hatred now. Please help the wounded child to conquer the bitterness and hatred so that her soul is not darkened. I ask YOU to give her peace so that she may say that it is well with her soul. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN!" ['There, I have done all that I can do for Kelly. The rest is up to YOU my LORD.']

Hearing his prayer, I awakened from my nap, "Thank you Pastor Patrick. [yawn] I know that things will be better for me now. [yawn] If y'all don't mind, [yawn] I need to take a nap." ['Is this YOU LORD helping me? All that I know is that I am at PEACE now and that is enough for now.']

Then Julie fluffed up my pillow and kissed me, "Me too Kelly, me too." ['This is the first time that we have taking a nap together without supervision.']

Nobody objected and they came over to give us both a kiss and hug good night. Julie and I giggled as Pastor Patrick's beard tickled us. They left us there, curled up together as we snuggled down to sleep. Even though I could have, I did not arouse at the thought of sex with Julie, I saw her as my sister, NOT my lover. Then I had a dream.

* * *

I awakened in a grassy meadow with a babbling brook flowing down from a majestic mountain whose sides were clothed in trees up to the immense ice cap adorning its peak. There were eagles aloft upon air currents and across the meadow was a herd of deer grazing on the fruit of the nearby tree adorned with a cornucopia of fruit, the limbs were low hanging so that even the fawns could eat the fruit right off of the tree..

I went forward and a majestic stag with golden horns came to me unafraid. His coat glistened golden in the light and his eyes looked at me with an intelligence and warmth
of an ancient soul.

"Hello, Sir. I mean no harm to you, or you family."

"I know, Kelly. You are well known for your love for the forest."

"How do you know?"

"I am Bambi, Lord of all deer. I have seen you with your father, and with your godfather when you stayed in the cabin in the woods."

I smiled, But Bambi is a deer from a Walt Disney movie."

He looked at me with gentle laughter in his eyes, "True, Bambi is my name. It is man that has turned it into something else entirely, unfortunately."

"Oh, you mean certain women calling themselves Bambi," I replied, ashamed of that misuse.

"Kelly, you and your family have NEVER been a part of those that misuse my name. To you, Bambi is a youmg deer, not a woman selling sex," he lovingly admonished me.

"OK, Bambi, Why am I talking to you?"

"Your friend Julie was hurt, and I am the closest here to that sad reality. Do you prefer this Bambi, or the other one?"

"Oh, I prefer you, Bambi! If a woman choose to sell sex, that is her choice. Julie did not have a choice."

I felt a weight lifting from me and a refreshing aroma filled the air, "Be at Peace, Kelly, by choosing as you have chosen, you will not dwell upon my name. When you think of Bambi, you will think of me."

I hugged him, "Thank you Bambi."

He and his herd walked into the forest where I saw a bear wearing denim jeans ans a brown hat greet Bambi, "Are you Smokey The Bear?"

The bear chuckled, "Yes, I am. I am Bambi's companion in protecting the forests and woods."

"What's the difference?"

"Bambi protects the animals, I protect the plants."

"But BOTH of you are fictional characters."

"Yes, but the LORD used godly men to bring our message to man."

Bambi spoke, "But man must hear the message."

Then they went deeper into the forest, and I saw Daddy sitting on a rock, with his arms open wide, "Welcome back Kelly, you have been sorely hurt! Be at Peace my child, and rest from your weary load and find refreshment " he grinned.

I jumped into his arms and he held me safe and secure as I snuggled up to him and kissed and hugged him, "Thank you daddy, I love you so much." I felt safe and secure in his arms and felt my darkness fade away.

He looked into my sad and weary eyes as I released my despair and anger from my heart, "Yes my child, rest from your weary load and heavy burden. You have been through the valley of despair and bitterness. Now it is time to release that anger and hatred so that you may be whole again my child."

"But how daddy? Right now I feel safe and secure, but I still feel the burden of hatred and anger deep within me that even now I can't get rid of. Can you help me get rid of them, or do I go to Jesus," I sighed as I wondered with a smattering of hope what could be done to help me.

Then he motioned to a group of angels carrying a variety of musical instruments, "Listen to the song and learn."

"What song, Daddy?"

Then I heard angels sing the song "GIVE THEM ALL TO JESUS." As I listened, my heart broke as the pain of the anger, bitterness and hatred was lifted and replaced with the JOY OF THE LORD. When the song was over, I looked up as an angel approached us. If mythical Helen of Troy was so beautiful that she launched a thousand ships, HERE was the face that would easily win her heart.

He was both tall and strong, with a ready smile and a twinkle in his eyes, "Hello there, which angel are you?" I asked as I held out my hand.

He gently shook my hand, engulfing it in his big, meaty palm, "I am the Archangel Gabriel, Young Warrior. I have come to help you in your need," he warmly smiled as I saw his wings fold down upon his shoulders.

I looked from him to my daddy in confusion as my daddy chuckled, "Young warrior? I am not any sort of warrior. Daddy here was a Police Officer on Earth, not me. Now why do you call me Young Warrior?"

Then my daddy hugged me, "Because you have fought a Great Battle in your young Life and won a Victory that very few could ever hope to accomplish in their lives, Kelly. I am very proud of you, my child."

"But Gabriel and Daddy, I don't feel victorious at all. I feel all yucky and gross inside as if I am full of something rotten and not worthy of even being here. if that makes sense to you," I sighed and looked down, ashamed to admit to my admission of failure and defeat.

Then he took hold of my chin and turned my face towards him, "Kelly, Young Warrior, by taking on those who kidnapped Julie and defeating them, THAT was your victory, and then by giving up the anger, bitterness and hatred that it caused, you have sealed it. And none could have done any better."

Then I smiled sheepishly and blushed, thankful for his kindness, "Well, funny thing is that even though I gave them up, I still feel all hollow inside. Gabriel, can you please tell me Why is that is."

Then he looked at me and grinned I could see a merry twinkle in his eyes, " Kelly, the reason for that is very simple. It is because you have YET to give them all over to the MASTER," replied Gabriel.

"How do I do that Gabriel?"

Then another angel came up, while Gabriel was dark haired with blue eyes, this one was red haired with green eyes. He held out a dark sphere with traces of red through out, "You must give THIS to the MASTER, Kelly."

I took the bauble from him, What is this and who are you?"

"I am the Archangel Micheal. What I handed to you is the burden that weighed you down from the ordeal. Now, once you give it over to the MASTER, then you will be free of it and its weight, forever more."

Then I saw my life was now freed of the ordeal and the Joy of Life once again filling me, "May I hug the two of you?"

They looked at each other and light danced in their eyes, "Yes, just let you father hold the bauble," they chorused.

Then I handed Daddy the bauble and hugged the angels who both smiled sheepishly, then flew away as a pearlescent light approached us, "Well Kelly, you have certainly given my Archangels Gabriel and Micheal much to ponder, He chuckled.

"JESUS!!" I exclaimed as I jumped into HIS awaiting arms. I felt even safer in His arms than my daddy's.

"Yes, young Kelly, it is I, I bid you welcome to Heaven my sweet child, "He smiled as HE wiped away my tears of JOY.

Then I suddenly thought about Julie and her ordeal and my Heart was needed an answer, "Will Julie be OK?"

"Yes, she is here now, she is being healed of her pain and despair so that she will not have any nightmares and be able to give her love to her husband. When she marries she will not remember the ordeal's pain."

"Am I to be her husband?"

"Only you can decide to ask her."

"OK, Oh yeah! I have a burden to give you."

Then he held the bauble, "You mean this."

"Yes, I thought that Daddy had it though."

"When you freely gave up your burden, you gave it to me."

"What happens to it now?"

"As with all such, I send it as far as the East is from the West."

"OK Jesus, I feel that it is time to go for some reason," I sighed.

"It is Kelly, go say bye to your father then you shall awaken."

Then I kissed Jesus," Bye Jesus."

Then I went to my daddy who opened his arms, "So long Kelly."

I kissed him," Bye Daddy."

* * *

Then when I awoke, I found that I was in my bed in the Playhouse with Julie snuggled up by me. We were both wearing matching tops, shorts and hose of white. As I looked at her smiling face, I began thinking about her and what she meant to me.

Did I think of her as just my sister? Did I want to be her lover? COULD I be her lover? Did she want me to be her brother? Did she want me to be her sister? Did she want me to be her lover? Could I be the Father of her children?

As I pondered these questions, Julie awoke with a smile, "Morning Beautiful, how long have you been awake?" [' What a night! That dream seems to have erased my nightmare for me.']

"For about an hour, I've been thinking about us too." ['Now it is time to see if things have changed between us.']

She lay on her side, Oh? What about us? Should I be worried?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

I turned to her, "Whether we are sisters or more than that. Last night kinda makes me wonder," I sighed.

Then she gently stroked my cheek, "Please don't wonder Kelly. I can give you the answer you are seeking." ['Usually it is Kelly that is comforting me. NOW it is my sister that needs for me to comfort her.']

"Why?"

"Because you ARE my brother or sister depending on who you choose to be. I know that you love me as a sister, and truthfully, that is more than enough for me." ['It has taken me until now for me to be able to admit it.']

"So, am I forgiven for dropping you as my girlfriend?" I sighed as I remembered the Hell that we both went through not long ago.

Then she kissed me gently on the lips, "You were forgiven long ago." ['And now I can give you what you need.']

Then I kissed her in return, "Thanks my sister. I just wish that I knew how I feel right now," I sighed.

Then she grinned "Well,?"

"Well what?"

"Tell me this Kelly my sister, do you want to be a girl?"

"Yes."

Then its simple, really."

Oh?"

"You are NOT a lesbian, Right?"

"Right. I like boys, especially Johnny."

"There you go sister."

* * *

Back in the Constabulary Jail, linden was being interviewed by Constable Sebastian's son, Augustus.

"Well, Avery, looks as if Kelly did a number on both you, and your thugs." ['He is very lucky that I was not there, If I had been, I might have done even worse.']

He smiled at him, "My time here is short."

"Why is that?"

"You came across the county line to get me. the sheriff would not sanction your action, and would get me released."

Augustus smiled at his prey, "I see that you have not been kept abreast of the facts, then, have you?"

"What facts?"

"The land that your church is on was sold recently."

"So? I needed the money. Besides, the agreement was that I would not be evicted."

"True, but the new owner is Charles Woods, the father of the young lady that you had kidnapped and raped."

"SHIT!"

* * *

After that, we got up and went down to breakfast and got on with our lives. Julie's exam showed that she was clean of any S.T.D. and other than being sore, was basically sound. She never had any nightmares from the ordeal and faithfully attended the support group where she met Andrew Barbabas Taylor whom she started dating soon after.

Johnny went to counseling about his part of the ordeal and learned about the pain that victims go through. He decided then to devote himself to becoming a Police Officer like my daddy. He went to college and earned degrees in counseling, and athletics.

Constable Sebastian made sure that Pastor Linden and his followers went to prison and the church was disbanded. But in its place the Tri-County Counseling Center was formed and run by Pastor Patrick's son Pat Junior who helped many people with their problems.

After breakfast, we got together to talk about what happened to us with the others. We talked about our respective dreams and how JESUS had spoken to us and how HE had taken away our burden and despair.

When we were finished,everybody gave us a group hug and promised to be there for us if we ever needed them for anything. Then we left the building and the Constable handed the keys to the building over to Pastor Patrick.

"Thank you Constable, the Council will decide what to do with this closed church."

"The only reason that I'm doing this is because the Tri-County Church Council was given the right by the Constitution."

Then we all left and went on our way after I had hugged and kissed Momma and the Woods good bye for now. As I drove us back to the farm, I began to ponder what my life would be like now that I ready for my new life.

* * *

Then when I awoke, I found that I was in my bed in the Playhouse with Julie snuggled up by me. We were both wearing matching tops, shorts and hose of white. As I looked at her smiling face, I began thinking about her and what she meant to me.

Did I think of her as just my sister? Did I want to be her lover? COULD I be her lover? Did she want me to be her brother? Did she want me to be her sister? Did she want me to be her lover? Could I be the Father of her children?

As I pondered these questions, Julie awoke with a smile, "Morning Beautiful, how long have you been awake?" [' What a night! That dream seems to have erased my nightmare for me.']

"For about an hour, I've been thinking about us too." ['Now it is time to see if things have changed between us.']

She lay on her side, Oh? What about us? Should I be worried?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

I turned to her, "Whether we are sisters or more than that. Last night kinda makes me wonder," I sighed.

Then she gently stroked my cheek, "Please don't wonder Kelly. I can give you the answer you are seeking." ['Usually it is Kelly that is comforting me. NOW it is my sister that needs for me to comfort her.']

"Why?"

"Because you ARE my brother or sister depending on who you choose to be. I know that you love me as a sister, and truthfully, that is more than enough for me." ['It has taken me until now for me to be able to admit it.']

"So, am I forgiven for dropping you as my girlfriend?" I sighed as I remembered the Hell that we both went through not long ago.

Then she kissed me gently on the lips, "You were forgiven long ago." ['And now I can give you what you need.']

Then I kissed her in return, "Thanks my sister. I just wish that I knew how I feel right now," I sighed.

Then she grinned "Well,?"

"Well what?"

"Tell me this Kelly my sister, do you want to be a girl?"

"Yes."

Then its simple, really."

Oh?"

"You are NOT a lesbian, Right?"

"Right. I like boys, especially Johnny."

"There you go sister."

After that, we got up and went down to breakfast and got on with our lives. Julie's exam showed that she was clean of any S.T.D. and other than being sore, was basically sound. She never had any nightmares from the ordeal and faithfully attended the support group where she met Andrew Barbabas Taylor whom she started dating soon after.

Johnny went to counseling about his part of the ordeal and learned about the pain that victims go through. He decided then to devote himself to becoming a Police Officer like my daddy. He went to college and earned degrees in counseling, and athletics.

Constable Sebastian made sure that Pastor Linden and his followers went to prison and the church was disbanded. But in its place the Tri-County Counseling Center was formed and run by Pastor Patrick's son Pat Junior who helped many people with their problems.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 12: Becoming Kelly Girl By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Kelly starts learning more about herself as she unlearns her boyhood and embraces her womanhood. In doing so, she comes to appreciate what being a woman truly means.

 

---

The next day, Aunt Debbie got me up early for that day's activities. I wore my red skort with a blue top, white socks and sneakers and taupe hose. My hair I combed into a ponytail held by a flag barrette. I came down to breakfast to find Aunt Debbie was fixing us some hot instant grits and toast with coffee.

 

I sat down to my bowl, "Where's Granny and Grandpa? Aren't they up yet?" ['Wonder why she is smiling, What does she have planned for today?']

Aunt Debbie sat down to her breakfast, "They're going to be at the Community Outreach Store helping with sacking up the care packages for the shut-ins and the needy." ['My parents love to help others. I am Blessed to be their daughter.']

"Oh, I thought that he'd be out on his tractor and she'd be outside in her garden," I smiled, thinking about how much they did for everybody, not asking for anything in return". They are perfect examples of Christian Love.

Then Aunt Debbie smirked, "Actually, they went on his trusty tractor. They left an hour ago," she giggled, seeing my astonishment.

On that rusty tractor? Come on Auntie! Ya' gotta be kidding! I laughed at the picture of them actually doing it.

"Well, they're pulling a hay wagon full of her canned goods and quilts as well as the appliances he repaired." ['What a sight that was to see, I'll show Kelly the pictures I took when they're developed.']

"What's on the agenda for the day?" ['I wonder if she has anything scheduled for my becoming a woman yet?']

"We're going to enroll you in Central-County Private High School where I went to school. You'll like it because the students there wear uniforms of red and blue, the girl's hem lines are cheerleader length." ['Kelly always did like showing off her legs, the little scamp. Good thing she has the legs for it.']

"But what about my school records? Will they accept me as Kelly girl? I've been seen by students there when they went to Ronzi's and that might cause trouble with the religious zealots there," I sighed as I thought about Linden and his followers. ['Will those zealots trouble me up here? Or am I safe from them?']

Aunt Debbie clasped my hand, "Don't you fret none Girl! Your Grandpa has already taken care of that detail for you." ['Poppa has way too many friends here for them zealots to cause my niece any trouble, but she'll have to see for herself.']

"OK Auntie, Hadn't you best get ready? Or are you gonna go dressed in your pajamas?" I giggled. [' Momma and Mrs. Woods did it a few times, but that was when we kids had to be early for a trip.']

Auntie held up the collar of her red Pinto pajama top. "Well, guess I'd better since you brought it up Miss Smarty Pants," she giggled. ['It's been way too long since I've actually felt so young. Kelly has restored my youth for me.']

She took her now empty bowl to the sink and set it in soapy water while I washed up the dishes. Then she went to change for the day and came down wearing a blue sweat suit and sneaker that displayed her figure to the max, "Very nice Auntie, are you dressing up for anyone in particular?" ['I know she has that special guy she told me about on the way up here, I wonder if I'll get to meet him now.']

She blushed, "Yes, I am, my boyfriend. After we enroll you, we're seeing him for lunch," she sighed. ['She deserves to meet him. I am not sure, but maybe meeting him will help her in her relationship with Johnny.']

I drove us to school where I saw that it was an old brick four story building that took up an entire block. The athletic field and softball field were to the right with a parking lot on the other sides of the building all encompassed by a red brick fence with wrought iron on top shaped like eagles; the mascot for the school.

As I drove through the gates, I heard Aunt Debbie crying, "Auntie?" ['Is she having a nervous breakdown?']

She turned to me and smiled, "Yes Kelly?" ['Sweet child, so loving and caring, she wants to know why I'm crying.']

I saw her grab a napkin and blow her nose, "Why are you crying? Is everything alright? Are you having a nervous breakdown?" I asked as I stopped to let students cross over from the school to parking lot in front of the fields.

"I'm alright, no nervous breakdown," she smiled.

""Well...OK... If you say so." I replied dubiously as I continued on after the way cleared.

She wiped her eyes and reapplied her makeup, "Kelly, I have many a fond memory of my time here as Brian. Four wonderful years of being the school's Chess Champion," she sighed with a smile. ['I hope that Kelly finds her niche and blossoms into a young woman here.']

I passed her my kit seeing that she was out of mascara, "But Auntie, I thought that you were attacked at that Halloween party!" ['Could I have misunderstood?']

She shook her head, "No, that was in my senior year Kelly. Did you think it was any earlier for some reason?" ['We never did say when, I guess she assumed an earlier date.']

I blushed at my mistake, "Yes, I thought that it was during your Freshman year, I don't know where I got that idea from, silly me," I giggled. ['Now she has something amusing to tell everybody.']

She patted me on the shoulder, "Don't worry girl, I guess that we should have told you when. My mistake." ['Talking to Kelly is like talking to my sister Terri. They both have the same way of looking at things.']

I smiled and blushed, "That's OK Auntie, where do we park?" I asked as we passed through the gate. ['Aunt Debbie is a whole lot more fun than I ever thought, just like momma. I am blessed to be a part of the family.']

She pointed to an empty space, "In front, by the fountain. That's where the office is." ['I can't wait to see her face.']

"OK," I pulled into a space by the fountain marked 'RESERVED DEBORAH MOORE" and looked at her with amusement in my eyes. ['She deliberately set me up for this, guess she's paying me back for my pranks.']

She smirked, "Yes, [giggle] I am on staff here. Teaching here has been very helpful in my overcoming the attack. I hope that you can find something similar for yourself here Kelly," she sighed.

I parked the car, "As what? I thought that you had that store." ['This should be interesting. I never considered her to be a teacher.']

She closed her purse after putting way her cosmetics, "I am the Cheerleader Coach for the Varsity team and the Coach for the Dance Team and Majorettes." ['I know that Kelly will want to be on one of the teams, but which one will she choose?']

We got out, locked up and went to the office where we were met by Principal Joseph 'Eagle Eye' Roberts; a Native American from the Navajo nation. He was dressed in buckskin and moccasins with an eagle feather over each ear. His office was a monument to Native America with pictures of Navajo life and Navajo artifacts adorning the walls and a bear skin rug on the floor.

Aunt Debbie hugged him as he shut the office door, "Well Eagle Eye, I'd like for you to meet my niece Kelly Lee Moore." ['DAMN! He is still able to get my blood flowing! But he is as devoted to his wife as I am to my betrothed.']

He looked me over and smiled, "But Wildflower, I thought that Kelly was your nephew, not your niece my friend." ['So lovely, Kelly is as beautiful as her aunt. It's amazing that a boy can be such a pretty girl.']

I tugged on her sleeve, "WILD FLOWER?" I asked. ['Just what does this mean? Is Aunt Debbie this guy's girlfriend?']

She blushed, "Yes Kelly, Wildflower is my Navajo name. I earned it when Eagle Eye invited me to join the Navajo nation like my birth parents did." ['Momma, poppa, I wish that you could join, but y'all are already the Chief's Friends.']

We sat down, "Did momma or daddy join? I think that'd be great!" ['But if so, why have they not told me?']

She took a sip of her tea that he had placed there for her, "No, Eagle Eye helped me after the assault when he stopped it. I was asked to join because Stu and my birth parents were members of the tribe, NOT our adoptive parents." ['We never have seen them except for in pictures.']

I sipped my tea, finding it excellent, "So, he knows your secret?" ['I wonder if there are any people like Debbie and me here on the reservation?']

He sat down behind his desk, "Yes Kelly, I know that Debbie used to be Brian. Are you like her?" ['If so, then I have met a true beauty unlike any other.']

I blushed, "Almost, I want to be a girl. But like Aunt Debbie, I was born a boy." ['Is he flirting with me?']

He shrugged, "And you want to enroll Kelly as a girl?" ['I saw Brian become Debbie, now I may have the Blessing of seeing Kelly transform too, but there are a few problems too.']

I smiled, "Yes Eagle Eye, I do. Will there be any problems?" ['Was I wrong to use his Navajo name instead of his American name?']

He looked at me and frowned, "Unfortunately, yes. Kelly here is rather well known from her outings at Ronzi's. Many of our students frequent there and have seen her there on several occasions." ['I have to admit that they were right. Kelly is a real sweet young lady and a heart breaker too.']

I glanced over at Aunt Debbie, "Sir, have they had anything negative to say about me?" ['LORD, if they do, then I have no chance.']

He cleared his throat, "On the contrary, they all like you and wish that you attended here. I do too, if the problems can be solved." [' I guess that I must be getting sentimental for Wildflower because I want Kelly to attend, but I must obey the dictates of the school.']

Aunt Debbie sat forward, "Then what's the problem Eagle Eye that a Brave such as you are afraid to handle?" asked Debbie. ['It really must be something big for him to be stonewalling us like he is, but at least he isn't flat out denying us.']

He shoved a folder into a cubbyhole, "It's her records. She is still listed as a boy. Please my friend, have a way out for Kelly or I must deny her entry." [' Has her father come through for her, or am I to be forced to deny Kelly entry into the school?']

Aunt Debbie passed over my NEW records that Grandpa's friends had changed, "Look at these and tell me what you see." ['Thanks daddy, you came through in a pinch before I knew you were needed.']

He glanced at my records and smiled, "OK, but if she enrolls there is the problem of her plumbing." ['Knowing that Wildflower, she either has that covered already or will have all too soon.']

Aunt Debbie smiled and glanced at me with a wink, "Sir, what if I can show that I look like a girl all the way?" ['This is a first for me! Just wonder if Aunt Debbie had to do something like this when she enrolled in school?']

He looked at us in shock and disbelief, "No! I do not want for you to disrobe! And for you to show a woman your genitals would be called sexual harassment, even if she is your aunt." ['What are they thinking?']

I looked over at Aunt Debbie who was laughing so hard that she was crying, "What if I simply show you my bikini? Won't that be proof that I look like a girl?" ['Glad that she is getting a laugh out of this.']

He nodded, "Wildflower, go lock the door and pull the curtains closed!" ['So, unless this is a very bad joke, they have answered the question of Kelly's gender.']

Then I took off my top and showed him my red bra and then dropped my shorts to show my red bikini bottoms. He stared, amazed at my evident girl's body, "But how? There hasn't been enough time for surgery!" ['Looks so real! Great Spirit, can that actually be one of Wildflower's creations from her store?']

Then I redonned my top and shorts, "I am wearing breast forms and a gaffe that give me a girl's groin. So there is no worry about my being outed that way." ['He looks as if he does not believe that such things exist.']

He leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily, "Very well young Rascal, you can enroll as a girl, but to be safe, use the teacher's restrooms in each section," ['Thank you Great Spirit! You have in Your Wisdom taught me a new thing thanks to young Spiritwing here, for that shall be her Navajo name.']

I curtsied which seemed to amuse him from the crinkle of his eyes and Aunt Jane's titter told me that she loved it too, "Thank you sir. You will not regret letting me enroll here." ['Thank you LORD for giving me this chance.']

He cleared his throat, "You're very welcome Kelly, [chortle] you Rascal you. [chortle] Now that that's over, I want for you to come to the reservation and earn your Indian name," he laughed merrily. ['My tribe will truly make her feel welcome. She like Wildflower has the Soul of a Navajo within her.']

I bowed low to honor his offer, "I am honored Eagle Eye, when do I come?" ['What will the Woods or momma think when they hear?']

He got a wooden nickel out of a drawer with an Indian Brave on one side, 'Navajo Nation' on the other side, "You will come with Wildflower when she comes. Make sure that you dress as a squaw please." ['Kelly will find this to be very different from anything else she has done, just like Wildflower before her,]

I accepted the coin he held out to me, "What is this? It looks way cool sir." [' Must be some Navajo medallion, but why wood?']

He smiled mischievously, "It's your token to enter our tribe." ['She is as curious as a cat. She will do well as a squaw.']

I pocketed the coin and thanked him with a peck on the cheek, "Thank you, may I wear a minidress or shorts as a squaw?" ['If he says a Navajo Squaw Dress, I'll do it as long as Auntie does too.']

"Yes, many squaws do that on the reservation."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what Aunt Debbie was thinking about me:['Kelly will now need to pass as a woman now that she is attending school as a girl. She'll need to get used to the weight staying on her chest as well as the gaffe that will tuck her boy bits safely away and let her look like a girl. That is perhaps the best thing she will get from being out here with us. She really needs no more training in being a girl. What she needs is time to become a woman away from the temptation of Johnny. I know that the next time that she meets Johnny that she will give herself to him. This time, I hope things fare better.']

I became popular and was soon joining the Cheerleaders and attending the games. I dressed out, but since I did not know the routines, I never did any stunts until my senior year. Then I became Head Cheerleader because of my abilities, much to the chagrin of others who thought that they had earned the title, but even those girls had to admit that I was better qualified.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was two weeks later, and I had yet to do anything about becoming a woman as I was promised by Aunt Debbie and my grandparents. My grandparents were once again out at the Church, helping with the Church Thrift Store. As was their custom, they loaded up Granny's canned goods and quilts as well as Grandpa's repaired appliances and woodwork. Whatever was not sold was brought back because there was no room for storage . The store was in the Church basement-Fellowship Hall.

Aunt Debbie and I were eating breakfast outside in an enclosed gazebo that Grandpa had just built in the backyard. I was wearing a black skirted leotard and white hose in preparation for working out at the gym with Auntie later that day. She was wearing a pink unitard, I was thinking about the fact that she was a girl while I was still physically a boy.

I felt it was time to start, so I turned to Aunt Debbie, " It has been 2 weeks. When do I see a doctor about being turned into a girl?" ['I hope that she won't discourage me from having the surgery.

Aunt Debbie sighed, "Are you sure and certain that you want to become a girl? Because once you have the operation, there is no going back for you. That's why I've held off on doing anything." [' I must make sure that my niece is ready to make the commitment.']

Then I bean to weep, "[sniff, sniff] Ever since I was tin, [sniff, sniff] kerbell I knew. [sniff, sniff]" ['LORD, I am ready to be a girl.']

Then she patted my shoulder, "Then when we get back home from the gym, I shall make a few calls to some friends that can help you transition into a girl, but like me, you can never be a birth mother like Terri," she sighed. ['Like you, no doubt, that is the one thing that I hate about not being born a woman.']

"I know that Auntie, but I still must become a woman physically, no matter what the cost is to me. And maybe, just maybe I CAN be a birth mother," I affirmed. ['LORD! Am I crazy for believing that it's even possible?']

~~~~~~~~~~

It was after our gym workout that something happened that I was not expecting. I had forgotten about Aunt Debbie's breast forms and a gaffe that let me look like a girl. The first time that I had a period was wild. I had just gotten up from taking a nap and was going to shower and change when I saw blood in my groin. "AUNT DEBBIE!!" ['I have to go to the hospital! The gaffe has hurt me somehow!']

She came running into my room and saw my groin and the horror etched on my face, "Fear not Kelly, that is the gaffe simulating a period."[I wish that I knew more, but Grandma can help her with that.]

I smiled and slumped onto the toilet in relief, "I thought that I had sprung a leak!" I giggled. "So, this is what being a real girl is all about." [I wonder if I was a real girl if I'd get bloated since momma does.]

Auntie helped me up off the toilet, "Come Kelly, Grandma can help you better than I can. [giggle] "Wait until you hear just what being a girl is all about when we have to take care of our bodies, then you'll know that being a girl is not all fun and games." [ GOD!! I would love to go through a real cycle and give birth, but that's denied us.]

Then I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" [Damn!! I sound like some ditzy blond on some sitcom on T.V.']

"It's your Granny, may I come in?' [No telling what Debbie's done to Kelly. She can be such an imp at times.]

I unlocked the door and turned the knob, "Sure Granny, you're welcome anytime," I responded with a laugh. ['Wonder what she'll say about my bloody groin? first time for me to soil my panty this way.']

When she entered and saw us, she quickly closed the door behind her and locked it, "This is something that Joe shouldn't be privy too since it concerns us girls. When I saw your red groin, I knew that that rascal Debbie had gotten you that special gaffe." I saw Debbie blush," Now I can teach you all about the secret of being a girl and caring for her body." [To think that here I am doing this for my granddaughter, but she needs me now since she can't stay home because of John. At least she gets to see her Momma on the weekends.]

"What all do I need to learn? I've already learned how to be a host and hostess thanks to Mrs. Woods."

She smiled as she sat on the toilet while Aunt Debbie produced a sanitary pad and clean undies for me, "True, she did that, but you need to learn about the manners needed for high society. There are certain unwritten rules of etiquette that you need to know that are used by high society and business. Using them, you will gain confidence and poise which is different than hosting a party." ['She already knows the manners, now to add the poise and grace that Debbie's charm school provides.']

I grinned, thinking about the future, "You think that I might need it for later when Johnny starts his own business or starts helping his Daddy?"[Wouldn't that be nice? Could I really be a High Society Lady or Patron of the Arts?]

Granny sighed, "Well, to tell the truth, I never thought of that. Mr. Woods caters mainly to the public, but he has sent me his catering staff to me and he and his wife have been here too." [And he detests having to wear a tuxedo. He's a simple man, really prefers the simple life like we do.]

I showered and dressed in fresh clothing and went with them to Aunt Debbie's store where they led me to her office. Thanks to Granny and Aunt Debbie, I learned all about keeping myself clean and how to care for my now feminine looking body. I never knew that a woman had so much to do to stay clean and pure in her bits.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 14-Becoming Kelly Girl By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:Kelly starts learning more about herself as she unlearns her boyhood and embraces her womanhood. In doing so, she comes to appreciate what being a woman truly means.

---

* * *
During the middle of the night, Julie and I woke up, unable to sleep. I felt my bladder was full, needing to be emptied.

"Julie, are you awake?"

"Yes, I can't sleep right now, guess I'm all slept out for now."

"Well, I got to go pee before I wet myself," Need to go?"

"Your first time to go with another girl, right?"

"Yeah, before, I'd wait until the toilet was free since I was still a boy in a dress."

"Kelly, if you ask me, you've always been a girl."

"Oh?"

"Yes, even though you and I would've married if you hadn't have changed, I know that you are much happier as a girl."

"Oh, I am, now that you mention it. But what happened in your dream?"

"OK, let me tell you."

* * *

Back in the van, Oscar Branch was interviewing Mark White. The van was set up like an interrogation room with a table, two chairs, a refreshment bar and access to a utility commode stall and a mirror-glass pane to let others see inside the room unnoticed.

"Well, Mark. According to your statement and church records, you are linden's chosen heir. Why did you turn against him?"

"That monster lied to me about Kelly and her family. When I saw Julie, and heard those animals saying how much fun taking her physically, I turned against him."

"What was the lie?"

"That Kelly was an abomination and deserved what he as God's agent deemed necessary to deal with her."

"How did he make that a lie?"

"Kelly is a sweet young lady. Now, I know that she was born a boy, but linden's demented doctor prescribed hormones that chemically castrated him, turning the preteen boy into a preteen girl in body and mind."

"Were you with linden when this happened?"

"Yes, I was chosen as his heir at that time."

"OK, why you then, and when did you break away from his teachings?"

"When his minions brought in Julie, they had already raped her in the van, I knew then that he had lied to me, that was the final straw."

"When did it begin?"

"When he said that I was his heir, but kept me ignorant of his many activities that are shady at best."

"Such as?"

"Creating tapes with subtle hypnotic messages in them to brainwash his followers, making his followers to provide free services for the church, setting double standards for his followers to live and enact."

"Well, those activities we will need evidence before we can prosecute him."

Mark brought out a cloth carry all bag filled with files, "Here they are. but what about me?"

"Kid, you tried to help Julie and Kelly tonight, correct?"

"Yes, Sir. I did."

"Then neither Constable Sebastian, nor his son Augustus will hold you. You are free to go."

"But what about the brainwashed congregation?"

"I am sure that they'll be taken care of."

* * *

It was amazing, Kelly. I woke up and I was wearing all white, a robe, undies, hose, and sandals. Best of all, I felt no pain fro my recent ordeal. I looked around and saw a beautiful beach of white sand that continued to the horizon with the calm sea to my right, and a gently sloping cliff to my left. As I near the cliffs, I see caves in the cliffs and on a boulder by a shack sits your father.

"Welcome to Heaven, Julie." he says as he opens his arms wide.

I run up to him, jump into his arms, "Unca Stu! Am I ever glad to see you." I say as I hug him.

He chuckles, "Are you sure that you trust me?"

""Oh, Unca Stu, I know that you would never hurt me!"

"That is GOOD, sweet child,," he sighed.

"I know because whenever it was time to change my diaper, neither you, or Daddy would do it out of modesty."

"Yes, because even then, we wanted for you to know that we respect your privacy."

"And you love Kelly for who she is, too."

"She is my child."

"But was born a boy."

"Julie, Kelly has a choice to make about her future, she can still choose to be a boy, I will love her no matter her choice."

"I just wish that I had had a choice about what happened to me," I sighed.

"You do."

"Oh?"

Then the Lord walked up, carrying a ball of seething black and red swirling colors, "Julie, this is the pain and hurt from your rape, do you forgive them for hurting you?"

"Lord, it's so hard to forgive, right now. I want to, but I am not strong enough," I sighed.

"You have spoken truly, many want to forgive, and forget, but forget one vital fact."

"What is that?"

"Give it to Me. even your inability to forgive, and I will heal you."

"Then I giggled, "But Lord, YOU have all of my hurt with You!"

"Will you now give me your inability?"

"Yes."

Then I felt a warmth enfold me, and Unca Stu passed me to the Lord, "My Child, you are now completely healed of the rape."

"But Lord, am I pregnant?"

"No, My Child, you and Mark shall choose to be parents."

"And what about sex?"

"What do your parents do about it?"

"Jesus, they are so randy about it that I am surprised that I don't have a whole house full of siblings," I giggled.

"Well, do you want to be like them in that regard?"

"Only with Mark."

He hugged me, "Then be at Peace, let My Peace envelop you."

Then I felt His warmth and knew that I was healed,"Thank you, Jesus."

"Now My Child, it is time to return."

I then woke up next to you

* * *

Johnny met with Pastor Patrick and his wife Joan,, needing to talk about how he felt Julie's pain and fear.

"Well. Johnny, why are you here?"

"Pastor Pat, I need help in understanding something about mysself ans my sister, Julie."

"Is this about her being raped?"

"Yes, I felt it happening."

"Johnny, I can guess why you are confused, I help cuunsel such cases, in fact, I too was nearly raped."

"You were, Joan?"

"Yes, Johnny."

"Will you tell me about it?"

"I was home in thr pool when the Stiener Brothers came into the pool, uninvited. When I ordered them out, they began to paw me. If Pat hadn't of showed up, I might have been raped."

"Joan, how do I deal with the pain and fear that I felt because of Julie?"

"Would you rather that it was you than her?"

"Yes I do."

"Why"

"Because she was unable to stop them, I am big enough that I could have handled them."

"Would youu have done it even if you were subdues?"

"Yes."

"Even if there was no link?"

"Yes."

"Then you have your answer."

"Please tell me what to do!?"

"What has Pat always said to do about problems?"

"Give them to Jesus."

"Then you know what to do."

"May I think about it?"

"Yes."

"Thanks, I have a lot to ponder."

* * *

The next day, I awoke next to Julie who looked so peaceful in her slumber, her smile telling me that her nightmare was over. As I looked at her, she awoke and smiled at me. "Morning, sister."

'I hugged her, "Morning, yourself, sister."

"Now I know what you go through when you dream of heaven." ['Such a beautiful place, no wonder Kelly is renewed after a visit.']

"Oh? So, you paid a visit?"

"Yes I did, and all of my anxiety and fear from being raped is gone."

Looking at her, I saw a faint glow over her aboden as the physical damage was healed, "Jules, unless I am mistaken, you will be a virgin bride for Mark."

She looked at me in surprise, "How do you know that?"

"Simple, I just saw you being healed."

She smiled, "Yes, you should be the one to tell me, sister."

"Why is that?"

"Because we have both been through the fire, and have been to Heaven where we were healed."

'OK, but what about Johnny?"

"Unfortunately, my brother must get counseling for what he went thorough."

* * *

Aunt Debbie got me up early for that day's activities. I wore my red skort with a blue top, white socks and sneakers and taupe hose. My hair I combed into a ponytail held by a flag beret. I came down to breakfast to find Aunt Debbie was fixing us some hot instant grits and toast with coffee.

I sat down to my bowl, "Where's Granny and Grandpa? Aren't they up yet?" ['Wonder why she is smiling, What does she have planned for today?']

Aunt Debbie sat down to her breakfast, "They're going to be at the Community Outreach Store helping with sacking up the care packages for the shut-ins and the needy." ['My parents love to help others. I am Blessed to be their daughter.']

"Oh, I thought that he'd be out on his tractor and she'd be outside in her garden," I smiled, thinking about how much they did for everybody, not asking for anything in return". They are perfect examples of Christian Love.

Then Aunt Debbie smirked, "Actually, they went on his trusty tractor. They left an hour ago," she giggled, seeing my astonishment.

On that rusty tractor? Come on Auntie! Ya' gotta be kidding! I laughed at the picture of them actually doing it.

"Well, they're pulling a hay wagon full of her canned goods and quilts as well as the appliances he repaired." ['What a sight that was to see, I'll show Kelly the pictures I took when they're developed.']

"What's on the agenda for the day?" ['I wonder if she has anything scheduled for my becoming a woman yet?']

"We're going to enroll you in Central-County Private High School where I went to school. You'll like it because the students there wear uniforms of red and blue, the girl's hem lines are cheerleader length." ['Kelly always did like showing off her legs, the little scamp. Good thing she has the legs for it.']

"But what about my school records? Will they accept me as Kelly girl? I've been seen by students there when they went to Ronzi's and that might cause trouble with the religious zealots there," I sighed as I thought about Linden and his followers. ['Will those zealots trouble me up here? Or am I safe from them?']

Aunt Debbie clasped my hand, "Don't you fret none Girl! Your Grandpa has already taken care of that detail for you." ['Poppa has way too many friends here for them zealots to cause my niece any trouble, but she'll have to see for herself.']

"OK Auntie, Hadn't you best get ready? Or are you gonna go dressed in your pajamas?" I giggled. [' Momma and Mrs. Woods did it a few times, but that was when we kids had to be early for a trip.']

Auntie held up the collar of her red Pinto pajama top. "Well, guess I'd better since you brought it up Miss Smarty Pants," she giggled. ['It's been way too long since I've actually felt so young. Kelly has restored my youth for me.']

She took her now empty bowl to the sink and set it in soapy water while I washed up the dishes. Then she went to change for the day and came down wearing a blue sweat suit and sneaker that displayed her figure to the max, "Very nice Auntie, are you dressing up for anyone in particular?" ['I know she has that special guy she told me about on the way up here, I wonder if I'll get to meet him now.']

She blushed, "Yes, I am, my boyfriend. After we enroll you, we're seeing him for lunch," she sighed. ['She deserves to meet him. I am not sure, but maybe meeting him will help her in her relationship with Johnny.']

I drove us to school where I saw that it was an old brick four story building that took up an entire block. The athletic field and softball field were to the right with a parking lot on the other sides of the building all encompassed by a red brick fence with wrought iron on top shaped like eagles; the mascot for the school.

As I drove through the gates, I heard Aunt Debbie crying, "Auntie?" ['Is she having a nervous breakdown?']

She turned to me and smiled, "Yes Kelly?" ['Sweet child, so loving and caring, she wants to know why I'm crying.']

I saw her grab a napkin and blow her nose, "Why are you crying? Is everything alright? Are you having a nervous breakdown?" I asked as I stopped to let students cross over from the school to parking lot in front of the fields.

"I'm alright, no nervous breakdown," she smiled.

""Well...OK... If you say so." I replied dubiously as I continued on after the way cleared.

She wiped her eyes and reapplied her makeup, "Kelly, I have many a fond memory of my time here as Brian. Four wonderful years of being the school's Chess Champion," she sighed with a smile. ['I hope that Kelly finds her niche and blossoms into a young woman here.']

I passed her my kit seeing that she was out of mascara, "But Auntie, I thought that you were attacked at that Halloween party!" ['Could I have misunderstood?']

She shook her head, "No, that was in my senior year Kelly. Did you think it was any earlier for some reason?" ['We never did say when, I guess she assumed an earlier date.']

I blushed at my mistake, "Yes, I thought that it was during your Freshman year, I don't know where I got that idea from, silly me," I giggled. ['Now she has something amusing to tell everybody.']

She patted me on the shoulder, "Don't worry girl, I guess that we should have told you when. My mistake." ['Talking to Kelly is like talking to my sister Terri. They both have the same way of looking at things.']

I smiled and blushed, "That's OK Auntie, where do we park?" I asked as we passed through the gate. ['Aunt Debbie is a whole lot more fun than I ever thought, just like momma. I am blessed to be a part of the family.']

She pointed to an empty space, "In front, by the fountain. That's where the office is." ['I can't wait to see her face.']

"OK," I pulled into a space by the fountain marked 'RESERVED DEBORAH MOORE" and looked at her with amusement in my eyes. ['She deliberately set me up for this, guess she's paying me back for my pranks.']

She smirked, "Yes, [giggle] I am on staff here. Teaching here has been very helpful in my overcoming the attack. I hope that you can find something similar for yourself here Kelly," she sighed.

I parked the car, "As what? I thought that you had that store." ['This should be interesting. I never considered her to be a teacher.']

She closed her purse after putting way her cosmetics, "I am the Cheerleader Coach for the Varsity team and the Coach for the Dance team and Majorettes." ['I know that Kelly will want to be on one of the teams, but which one will she choose?']

We got out, locked up and went to the office where we were met by Principal Joseph 'Eagle Eye' Roberts; a Native American from the Navajo nation. He was dressed in buckskin and moccasins with an eagle feather over each ear. His office was a monument to Native America with pictures of Navajo life and Navajo artifacts adorning the walls and a bear skin rug on the floor.

Aunt Debbie hugged him as he shut the office door, "Well Eagle Eye, I'd like for you to meet my niece Kelly Lee Moore." ['DAMN! He is still able to get my blood flowing! But he is as devoted to his wife as I am to my betrothed.']

He looked me over and smiled, "But Wildflower, I thought that Kelly was your nephew, not your niece my friend." ['So lovely, Kelly is as beautiful as her aunt. It's amazing that a boy can be such a pretty girl.']

I tugged on her sleeve, "WILD FLOWER?" I asked. ['Just what does this mean? Is Aunt Debbie this guy's girlfriend?']

She blushed, "Yes Kelly, Wildflower is my Navajo name. I earned it when Eagle Eye invited me to join the Navajo nation like my birth parents did." ['Momma, poppa, I wish that you could join, but y'all are already the Chief's Friends.']

We sat down, "Did momma or Daddy join? I think that'd be great!" ['But if so, why have they not told me?']

She took a sip of her tea that he had placed there for her, "No, Eagle Eye helped me after the assault when he stopped it. I was asked to join because Stu and my birth parents were members of the tribe, NOT our adoptive parents." ['We never have seen them except for in pictures.']

I sipped my tea, finding it excellent, "So, he knows your secret?" ['I wonder if there are any people like Debbie and me here on the reservation?']

He sat down behind his desk, "Yes Kelly, I know that Debbie used to be Brian. Are you like her?" ['If so, then I have met a true beauty unlike any other.']

I blushed, "Almost, I want to be a girl. But like Aunt Debbie, I was born a boy." ['Is he flirting with me?']

He shrugged, "And you want to enroll Kelly as a girl?" ['I saw Brian become Debbie, now I may have the Blessing of seeing Kelly transform too, but there are a few problems too.']

I smiled, "Yes Eagle Eye, I do. Will there be any problems?" ['Was I wrong to use his Navajo name instead of his American name?']

He looked at me and frowned, "Unfortunately, yes. Kelly here is rather well known from her outings at Ronzi's. Many of our students frequent there and have seen her there on several occasions." ['I have to admit that they were right. Kelly is a real sweet young lady and a heart breaker too.']

I glanced over at Aunt Debbie, "Sir, have they had anything negative to say about me?" ['LORD, if they do, then I have no chance.']

He cleared his throat, "On the contrary, they all like you and wish that you attended here. I do too, if the problems can be solved." [' I guess that I must be getting sentimental for Wildflower because I want Kelly to attend, but I must obey the dictates of the school.']

Aunt Debbie sat forward, "Then what's the problem Eagle Eye that a Brave such as you are afraid to handle?" asked Debbie. ['It really must be something big for him to be stonewalling us like he is, but at least he isn't flat out denying us.']

He shoved a folder into a cubbyhole, "It's her records. She is still listed as a boy. Please my friend, have a way out for Kelly or I must deny her entry." [' Has her father come through for her, or am I to be forced to deny Kelly entry into the school?']

Aunt Debbie passed over my NEW records that Grandpa's friends had changed, "Look at these and tell me what you see." ['Thanks Daddy, you came through in a pinch before I knew you were needed.']

He glanced at my records and smiled, "OK, but if she enrolls there is the problem of her plumbing." ['Knowing that Wildflower, she either has that covered already or will have all too soon.']

Aunt Debbie smiled and glanced at me with a wink, "Sir, what if I can show that I look like a girl all the way?" ['This is a first for me! Just wonder if Aunt Debbie had to do something like this when she enrolled in school?']

He looked at us in shock and disbelief, "No! I do not want for you to disrobe! And for you to show a woman your genitals would be called sexual harassment, even if she is your aunt." ['What are they thinking?']

I looked over at Aunt Debbie who was laughing so hard that she was crying, "What if I simply show you my bikini? Won't that be proof that I look like a girl?" ['Glad that she is getting a laugh out of this.']

He nodded, "Wildflower, go lock the door and pull the curtains closed!" ['So, unless this is a very bad joke, they have answered the question of Kelly's gender.']

Then I took off my top and showed him my red bra and then dropped my shorts to show my red bikini bottoms. He stared, amazed at my evident girl's body, "But how? There hasn't been enough time for surgery!" ['Looks so real! Great Spirit, can that actually be one of Wildflower's creations from her store?']

Then I redonned my top and shorts, "I am wearing breast forms and a gaffe that give me a girl's groin. So there is no worry about my being outed that way." ['He looks as if he does not believe that such things exist.']

He leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily, "Very well young Rascal, you can enroll as a girl, but to be safe, use the teacher's restrooms in each section," ['Thank you Great Spirit! You have in Your Wisdom taught me a new thing thanks to young Spiritwing here, for that shall be her Navajo name.']

I curtsied which seemed to amuse him from the crinkle of his eyes and Aunt Jane's titter told me that she loved it too, "Thank you sir. You will not regret letting me enroll here." ['Thank you LORD for giving me this chance.']

He cleared his throat, "You're very welcome Kelly, [chortle] you Rascal you. [chortle] Now that that's over, I want for you to come to the reservation and earn your Indian name," he laughed merrily. ['My tribe will truly make her feel welcome. She like Wildflower has the Soul of a Navajo within her.']

I bowed low to honor his offer, "I am honored Eagle Eye, when do I come?" ['What will the Woods or momma think when they hear?']

He got a wooden nickel out of a drawer with an Indian Brave on one side, 'Navajo Nation' on the other side, "You will come with Wildflower when she comes. Make sure that you dress as a squaw please." ['Kelly will find this to be very different from anything else she has done, just like Wildflower before her,]

I accepted the coin he held out to me, "What is this? It looks way cool sir." [' Must be some Navajo medallion, but why wood?']

He smiled mischievously, "It's your token to enter our tribe." ['She is as curious as a cat. She will do well as a squaw.']

I pocketed the coin and thanked him with a peck on the cheek, "Thank you, may I wear a minidress or shorts as a squaw?" ['If he says a Navajo Squaw Dress, I'll do it as long as Auntie does too.']

"Yes, many squaws do that on the reservation."

* * *

This is what Aunt Debbie was thinking about me:['Kelly will now need to pass as a woman now that she is attending school as a girl. She'll need to get used to the weight staying on her chest as well as the gaffe that will tuck her boy bits safely away and let her look like a girl. That is perhaps the best thing she will get from being out here with us. She really needs no more training in being a girl. What she needs is time to become a woman away from the temptation of Johnny. I know that the next time that she meets Johnny that she will give herself to him. This time, I hope things fare better.']

I became popular and was soon joining the Cheerleaders and attending the games. I dressed out, but since I did not know the routines, I never did any stunts until my senior year. Then I became Head Cheerleader because of my abilities, much to the chagrin of others who thought that they had earned the title, but even those girls had to admit that I was better qualified.

* * *

It was two weeks later, and I had yet to do anything about becoming a woman as I was promised by Aunt Debbie and my grandparents. My grandparents were once again out at the Church, helping with the Church Thrift Store. As was their custom, they loaded up Granny's canned goods and quilts as well as Grandpa's repaired appliances and woodwork. Whatever was not sold was brought back because there was no room for storage . The store was in the Church basement-Fellowship Hall.

Aunt Debbie and I were eating breakfast outside in an enclosed gazebo that Grandpa had just built in the backyard. I was wearing a black skirted leotard and white hose in preparation for working out at the gym with Auntie later that day. She was wearing a pink unitard, I was thinking about the fact that she was a girl while I was still physically a boy.

I felt it was time to start, so I turned to Aunt Debbie, " It has been 2 weeks. When do I see a doctor about being turned into a girl?" ['I hope that she won't discourage me from having the surgery.

Aunt Debbie sighed, "Are you sure and certain that you want to become a girl? Because once you have the operation, there is no going back for you. That's why I've held off on doing anything." [' I must make sure that my niece is ready to make the commitment.']

Then I bean to weep, "[sniff, sniff] Ever since I was tin, [sniff, sniff] kerbell I knew. [sniff, sniff]" ['LORD, I am ready to be a girl.']

Then she patted my shoulder, "Then when we get back home from the gym, I shall make a few calls to some friends that can help you transition into a girl, but like me, you can never be a birth mother like Terri," she sighed. ['Like you, no doubt, that is the one thing that I hate about not being born a woman.']

"I know that Auntie, but I still must become a woman physically, no matter what the cost is to me. And maybe, just maybe I CAN be a birth mother," I affirmed. ['LORD! Am I crazy for believing that it's even possible?']

* * *

It was after our gym workout that something happened that I was not expecting. I had forgotten about Aunt Debbie's breast forms and a gaffe that let me look like a girl. The first time that I had a period was wild. I had just gotten up from taking a nap and was going to shower and change when I saw blood in my groin. "AUNT DEBBIE!!" ['I have to go to the hospital! The gaffe has hurt me somehow!']

She came running into my room and saw my groin and the horror etched on my face, "Fear not Kelly, that is the gaffe simulating a period."[I wish that I knew more, but Grandma can help her with that.]

I smiled and slumped onto the toilet in relief, "I thought that I had sprung a leak!" I giggled. "So, this is what being a real girl is all about." [I wonder if I was a real girl if I'd get bloated since momma does.]

Auntie helped me up off the toilet, "Come Kelly, Grandma can help you better than I can. [giggle] "Wait until you hear just what being a girl is all about when we have to take care of our bodies, then you'll know that being a girl is not all fun and games." [ GOD!! I would love to go through a real cycle and give birth, but that's denied us.]

Then I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" [Damn!! I sound like some ditzy blond on some sitcom on T.V.']

"It's your Granny, may I come in?' [No telling what Debbie's done to Kelly. She can be such an imp at times.]

I unlocked the door and turned the knob, "Sure Granny, you're welcome anytime," I responded with a laugh. ['Wonder what she'll say about my bloody groin? first time for me to soil my panty this way.']

When she entered and saw us, she quickly closed the door behind her and locked it, "This is something that Joe shouldn't be privy too since it concerns us girls. When I saw your red groin, I knew that that rascal Debbie had gotten you that special gaffe." I saw Debbie blush," Now I can teach you all about the secret of being a girl and caring for her body." [Too think that here I am doing this for my granddaughter, but she needs me now since she can't stay home because of John. At least she gets to see her Momma on the weekends.]

"What all do I need to learn? I've already learned how to be a host and hostess thanks to Mrs. Woods."

She smiled as she sat on the toilet while Aunt Debbie produced a sanitary pad and clean undies for me, "True, she did that, but you need to learn about the manners needed for high society. There are certain unwritten rules of etiquette that you need to know that are used by high society and business. Using them, you will gain confidence and poise which is different than hosting a party." ['She already knows the manners, now to add the poise and grace that Debbie's charm school provides.']

I grinned, thinking about the future, "You think that I might need it for later when Johnny starts his own business or starts helping his Daddy?"[Wouldn't that be nice? Could I really be a High Society Lady or Patron of the Arts?]

Granny sighed, "Well, to tell the truth, I never thought of that. Mr. Woods caters mainly to the public, but he has sent me his catering staff to me and he and his wife have been here too." [And he detests having to wear a tuxedo. He's a simple man, really prefers the simple life like we do.]

I showered and dressed in fresh clothing and went with them to Aunt Debbie's store where they led me to her office. Thanks to Granny and Aunt Debbie, I learned all about keeping myself clean and how to care for my now feminine looking body. I never knew that a woman had so much to do to stay clean and pure in her bits. 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 13: Through the Gate By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! After Kelly has saved her best friend and soul sister from the kidnapper Pastor Linden, she must face her hatred and overcome it or live with bitterness as her heart grows cold and bitter.

 

---

We were on our way back to the farm. I felt tired, yet full of energy as if I had to make a decision and a great weight had been lifted. I now knew that I had a decision to make about myself and only Aunt Debbie could help me. She had gone through a transition that I wanted, so she was my guide on my journey now.

 

Aunt Debbie pulled into a gas station to refuel, and I went to the restroom to tinkle. I saw my girl's groin and how realistic it looked. I touched my new girlhood and it felt great! I actually came to an orgasm as I touched myself down there.

I quickly cleaned up and the smell of my discharge was musky and fresh. I redressed and got myself a root beer [my favorite, especially with butter pecan ice cream] and a cream soda for Aunt Debbie.

I approached the counter to pay and saw a perfect Santa at the register, except that he wore a red plaid shirt under his overalls, "Well, who is this delicate flower who graces my establishment today?" he asked merrily with a twinkle in his eyes.

I blushed at the attention, "But Santa, [giggle] surely you know that it's me, [giggle] Kelly," I giggled. ['He must be called Santa a lot, especially near Christmas.']

Then he leaned his head back and laughed, "HO! HO! HO! I am not that merry old Elf. I am Christopher Snow, I own this store." ['I can see that she has a love of life like I do.']

"Well, at least you have a good Christmas name," I smirked. [' Wonder if he has a red truck or sleigh.']

"Yes I do Kelly, that'll be $2.50 for the drinks. Are you paying for the gas too?" ['Her friend is a beauty too.']

Aunt Debbie came in and approached the counter, "Sir, do you accept VISA?" she asked as she held out her card. ['I can see by the look on her face that Kelly did it in the restroom. It's time to talk to her about it.']

He accepted it and ran it through the slot, "Yes ma'am. That's $12.95, need anything else?" ['This beauty looks like my daughter except that she is a bit taller.']

"No sir, that's all." Then she turned around to leave. ['Why is he staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?']
I picked up my purchase and followed Aunt Debbie, "See ya' Santa!" I called back as the door closed behind me. ['I can't help but to get in a parting shot at him. He and Grandpa both could be Santa.']

Before she got in the car, Aunt Debbie looked at me with a smirk, "Well, did you enjoy yourself in the restroom?" ['Poor girl, I know that I've caught her off guard just like momma did it to me years ago.']

I stood there, totally aghast at what she had just asked, "WHAT? How did you know?" ['Is she psychic too?']

She opened the door and smiled, "It is no secret that a girl likes to check herself out and even masturbate, it's OK to admit it. In fact, all young women have done it at times." ['She needs to know that it's natural to explore.']

I got in after she had unlocked my door, "Yes I did. I couldn't believe that I could pleasure myself that way, but instead of semen coming out, it was clear and had a musky sweet odor to it. Why?" ['Now that I think about it, kinda like Johnny in a way.']

She started the car, "When we get home, I'll let you read the literature about it." ['She'll me amazed at what she reads and those stories will help too.']

I put in a C.D. by 'Alabama' and selected 'My Home Is In Alabama', "OK." ['Somehow, this song feels right.']

She smiled and sang along with me, "Good choice Kelly, but why that song?" ['Does she feel homesick?']

I patted her on the arm, "Because I am going to my new home to learn all about myself and grow."

"And that you shall do, I promise you that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During this time, momma and the Woods were talking about the ordeal and how to help Julie. She was at a counseling session discussing her encounter and her feelings. Johnny was there with her since he has that link to her.

Mister Woods sipped his wine cooler and sat it down, "Well, the twins are in counseling about what just happened. But what should we do to help them? Will they be able to go back to school or do we get them a private tutor now? They never wanted that growing up, but that might change." ['LORD, how do I protect my children from harm? Will they go on or will they be scared to live?']

"Well, there is one good thing. Kelly is the same after the ordeal. And she suffered a nervous breakdown too," sighed Mrs. Woods. ['I will never forget her scream or the absolute dismay in her eyes.']

"Yes, my daughter sacrificed herself to help Julie, and made them pay for their crimes. But Julie and Johnny both are suffering now and I am at a loss on what to do." ['Being Stu's wife hasn't prepared me for this.']

"Constable Sebastian has promised to oversee the installation of security cameras throughout the schools that we are paying for," said Mister Woods as he passed around a folder. ['A bit late, but I will feel better now.']

Glancing at the folder, Mrs. Woods nodded approval, "Have the students privacy been seen about? The A.C.L.U. will have our heads if there are any cameras in the showers or dressing rooms. Those people get their claws into anything that they can and make life miserable for everybody." ['I hope that Chuck's friend Sebastian has taken them into account for our sake.']

"Don't worry Lynn. Sebastian has handled them before when pastor Linden had Debbie attacked. They wailed about his rights being violated by not allowed bail, but Sebastian's friend Judge Henry Block shut them up," momma sighed as she remembered the Hell that she went through for Aunt Debbie. ['Running the gauntlet of the press and facing down those liberal phonies has helped me to help Kelly.']

Johnny and Julie came in and ran over and hugged their parents, then she sat in her daddy's lap like she was a baby and snuggled up to him, "We're home daddy! Do we have to go back?" ['I know that he wants us to go, but it's so yucky.']

Mrs. Woods passed a bottle of soda to both twins, "And just why do you want to stop going Julie, you've only been once." ['Have we been wrong to force them to go?']

"Because Julie and I don't need some group to talk to, we have each other, but Julie did find a boy she likes," informed Johnny as he opened both sodas. ['Julie, I hope that this guy is worth it.']

"Who is this young man Julie?" asked momma. ['Who could capture her heart after she lost Kelly?']

"Mark White."

After several minutes of discussion, it was agreed that he would come to Sunday dinner to meet everybody.

~~~~~~~~~

We drove in silence for awhile, listening to the music. The 'Alabama C.D. had finished and now we were listening to a C.D. of 'Time Life' love songs. I was thinking about how my life had changed ever since that Halloween party when I became Tinkerbelle. Would I have found Kelly girl if I had been Peter, Pan instead of Johnny? Both characters wore tights as a part of the costume, but only Tink wore a panty.

As we were approaching the off ramp to the farm, I got the courage to talk to Aunt Debbie, "Aunt Debbie, can we talk?" ['I wonder if she has been waiting for this.']

She glanced towards me with confusion, then she nodded as if she knew what I wanted, "Yes Kelly. I guess that we do need to talk since I know what you need to know about becoming a woman. Am I right?" [' I can see her confusion from here. I am glad that I can help her because I know what it's like not having the support of a mentor.']

I sheepishly blushed as I realized that she saw through me, "Yes Ma'am, you're right. I was wondering when you knew that you wanted to be a girl or at least dress as a girl I wonder if there is a difference." ['Lord! I pray that Aunt Debbie will answer my questions, and if not her, then Granny.']

It took her a few minutes to reply as she gathered her thoughts together, "For me, there was no difference since I was attacked and had my bits crushed. After that, I transitioned from Brian into Debbie," she sighed. [' Even today, I have nightmares of the attack. I don't want for Kelly to suffer as I do.']

The C.D. ended and I shut off the player, "But what about when you first wanted to be a girl? Was it like me and Tinkerbelle?" [' I wonder if like me, she has pictures of herself as a girl from when she was as young, as I was when I was Tinkerbelle.']

She looked over at me and smiled, "I was about the same age as you were when you were Tinkerbelle, but in my case, your mother Terri was taking ballet and I was helping her. She got me to wear a spare leotard and tights that she had. After I saw myself as a girl and the feel of the hose, I was hooked." [' Funny how we both have similar tales of girlhood.']

"And Grandpa was not liking it at first right? I remember what he said about not being there for you." [' Grandpa has sure changed since then if so. All that I know is that I love him, and he loves me.']

"Yes, he hated me at first for wanting to dress as a girl, but thanks to my brother Stu's acceptance of me as a girl, Grandpa saw that he was losing me and that made him question himself. When he saw me in one of Terri's dresses and hose, he finally saw his daughter Debbie and accepted me," she sighed as she remembered that day. ['LORD! If not for my big brother Stu, Grandpa would not have accepted me, Thanks for Stu.']

I turned to her and struggled to find my voice. Finally, after several minutes I found my voice, "You mean to tell me that you and daddy are related?" [' What else about my family am I to learn about I wonder.']

"Yes, Stu and I were brothers and when our parents died, since momma and poppa were our Godparents, they adopted us. 'I do miss them, but I was your age when they died from a faulty heater. It's hard to even think that I am really adopted. To me, I am their daughter, by birth and I am sure that my brother Stu would say that he felt the same as I do." ['Glad that Kelly still has Terri.']

"What? Daddy would say that he feels like he was their daughter by birth? I don't think so Aunt Debbie, I grinned" [' Thank you LORD! You have returned my quirky sense of humor to me. Poor Aunt Debbie has not been my victim till now.']

"YOU SCAMP!! You know good and well what I mean," she giggled as she wiped her eyes. [' Now I know what Terri meant.']

"Ah! But that is NOT what you said about my dear daddy Aunt Debbie," I smirked as she did a fish-face at my response. [' It's almost as much fun baiting her as it is momma. It feels good to laugh again.']

She shook her head and smiled, "Touché Kelly. [giggle] Your daddy Stu felt that he was really their son by birth, not adopted. SATISFIED EINSTEIN? She giggled. [If this is how she's gonna be around mom and dad, they'll be laughing their heads off at her antics.']

I handed her a diet soda which I had opened for her that she took a swig of, and then recapped the bottle, "Yes Aunt Debbie. But tell me please; uh, did you have any boyfriends at all while you were growing up? Or did Grandpa say no to boyfriends?" ['Maybe if momma had said no to me, I'd still be with her.']

"No, not really. I didn't have a Ronzi's like you did and no boys wanted me to help them with their dates. You see, I wasn't as outgoing as you are Kelly. I was a wallflower, afraid to open up to others.']

"Too bad Auntie, you missed out on a lot of fun times. I know that I had fun when I did, I sighed remembering the past. ['Maybe I can teach her to be more outgoing. She is beautiful and deserves to be happy.']

By that time, we were back at the farm and as we got out, a big shaggy sheepdog bounded up and knocked me over in his greeting, "OK Shaggy, I love you too, but you're too big to jump on me, ya' big lummox, I laughed as he showered me with sloppy kisses. ['Lovable mongrel! Wonder where Grandpa got him from?']

"HEEL SHAGGY!!" called out Grandpa as he came up on his faithful old tractor. It was as ancient as he was, but like Grandpa, there was no rust, but there were a few scratches and dents from its years of service. It was on it that I had learned how to drive just like momma had.

Aunt Debbie stood over me with a big grin on her face, "Well daddy, I see that you're letting the chowhound greet your guests again, Aunt Debbie chortled. ['I'm glad that he went after Kelly instead of me today, but knowing him, I'm gonna be next.']

Then Shaggy bounded after Aunt Debbie who ran away from him and he gave chase as she merrily led him around the yard, giggling all the time as he 'woofed' behind her. This was their game they played whenever he saw her unless she sat down, and then he'd get in her lap for a tummy rub.

Then I heard the front porch screen door close behind Granny, "OK Debbie, are you through playing with your bed buddy?" asked a smirking Granny as she stood on the front porch. ['Those two would run and play all day if they could. If not for Shaggy, she wouldn't have met her boyfriend.']

Then Shaggy succeeded in catching her and she went down with a squeal of delight as Shaggy landed his sloppy kisses on her, "Yeah momma, Since Shag's here has finally caught me," she laughed with glee. ['No matter how bad I feel Shaggy's sloppy kisses wash away my gloom. Thank you Jesus for my friend.']

Grandpa hugged me after he helped me up, "Well Kelly, looks as if Shags has given you his sloppy welcome," he grinned. [' That mutt can sense when a person is bad or not. He's given Debbie many an early warning.']

"Yeah Grandpa, I never got my face so thoroughly washed by a dog before. I'm sure that the Woods would love him to bits." ['The only reason there are no cats or dogs is that Julie and Johnny are allergic to their fur.']

Then he handed me an ever hanky that he kept in his overalls and I wiped my face clean of dog slobber, "Well, come on in girl, dinner is ready and a waiting. I am sure that you have quite a story to tell us," he said with warmth. ['I am ready to hear Kelly's story unlike I was when Brian told me about being Debbie.']

He shook his head and grinned as I handed him back his now damp hanky which he then tossed to Granny who caught it and put it in her apron, "Have you talked to momma or the Woods?" [' Silly me, momma called Auntie.']

He led me over to Granny, "Yes, Terri called and told us what happened, but we want to hear about it from you. If you want to that is." [' I know from experience with Debbie that she'll need to talk to us about it for her peace of mind.']

"I am ready to talk about it Grandpa. I hope that y'all have plenty of Kleenex, because it is a tearjerker," I sighed. [' Can I sound any more like a Drama Queen? Or am I being a silly goose now?']

Then he bear hugged me as Granny, Aunt Debbie, and Shaggy came up, "We know Kelly, and we are here for you." ['She's still so sweet and innocent even after her ordeal! Thank You LORD for helping my grandchild.']

Aunt Debbie attached a leash to Shaggy's collar that she'd gotten out of her car, "I'll take Shaggy out to the barn daddy." ['Why he was regulated to the barn is a shame, Kelly was never allergic before.']

He undid the leash and pocketed it, "Let him stay Debbie, the only reason we put him out there last time was that he was out at the duck pond. NOT because Kelly's allergic to him." ['Poor kids. They love animals, but can't stand their fur. Well, guess that it's up to me to fix it.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grandpa did find an organic relief for them and others. He found a combination of herbs that thoroughly cleansed the fur and worked with the fur to prevent dandruff by using the body's oils to kill it and fleas and tics. Unfortunately, it only worked for Julie and Johnny because of their unique heritage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were spoiled with a scrumptious dinner of pot roast with apple pie ala mode for dessert. Aunt Debbie and I offered to help clean up, but we were forced to sit in the living room watching the movie 'Ice Angel' as they cleaned up the kitchen. Then they joined us in the living room and I told them about the ordeal and my wish to be a girl, not to just dress like one.

Granny led me over to Grandpa's lounge chair, "Here you go Kelly, sit here and tell us your story from the beginning." ['Even though we know, we want to hear her thoughts so we can better help her.']

I couldn't believe it! I was to sit in Grandpa's chair? Only he sat here and smoked his pipe of herbs, "But this is Grandpa's chair, not mine Granny!" ['I don't want to disrespect Grandpa! Why is she doing this?']

Grandpa led me over and sat me in his seat, "Today, you sit here and tell us your tale my grandchild. I know that you're showing me respect, but I WANT you to sit here." ['Poor child thinks I'm an ogre about my chair.']

I hugged him in thanks and gratitude for his gift, "OK Thanks Grandpa for letting me sit in your lounger." Then I spent a few moments getting myself ready while they sat down around me in the sofas.

Aunt Debbie brought out tea for everybody but pointedly handed Grandpa his '#1 GRANDPA' glass that I had given him last Christmas, "But you don't get 'MY' glass Sport," he chuckled. ['She gave me this for my birthday and now it's my favorite glass.']

I smiled at their attempt at humor and started on my story, "It all started when I dressed as Tinkerbelle for Halloween, I was gonna be Peter Pan, but Mrs. Woods picked up the wrong costume," I smiled and blushed as I remembered the events that led me into becoming Kelly girl for the first time. ['Daddy, I wonder if you ever did see me as your little girl while you were living.']

Granny sat down her glass and sighed, "So, if not for that, you'd not have discovered Kelly girl." ['I saw her picture from that Halloween party and all that I saw was Kelly girl.']

I saw that they were gonna go back to when Kelly girl was born, "Yeah Granny, wearing that dress and tights and sleeping in them that night started me on my journey as Kelly girl." ['If not for that, what other event would have triggered my entry into being Kelly girl?']

Grandpa fidgeted, "And the Woods accepted you as Kelly girl?" ['LORD! Will I ever find peace in my heart for what I did to Debbie years ago?']

I took a sip of my drink, "Uh huh. That was after daddy died and I'd been having nightmares about it, but wearing Julie's tops and shorts at night stopped that Grandpa." ['Even then, with my long hair, I could pass as a girl.']

Aunt Debbie looked at me with tears in her eyes, "What about this doctor that hurt you?" ['I was brutally attacked, was Kelly's hurt any less traumatic for her?']

Granny wiped Aunt Debbie's tears away, "He actually thought that I wanted to be a girl, so he gave me pills and shots that made me start to go through girl's puberty. Because of him the only thing I am missing are breasts. My boy bits are there, but I can only pee. I can't father children. That's why I turned from Julie to Johnny Aunt Debbie."['Having a girl's body as a boy sure was something. I still have my child's voice and I never have shaved, unlike Aunt Debbie when she was Uncle Brian.']

Granny looked at Aunt Debbie, then at me, "I am sure that when she found that out she threw a fit." [' I threw a royal hissy fit when I saw what happened to Brian, I lost my son, but gained a daughter.']

"She did Granny, and I don't blame her. But she is still my best friend. In fact, she helped me out a lot when I needed help with Johnny," I sighed as I once again felt Julie's anger and dismay when she pounded my chest back then. ['That is one Hell that I NEVER want to go through again! I hated hurting her, but I had to be truthful about myself.']

Aunt Debbie smiled, "You mean when she helped you at the dinner party?" ['That girl is so sweet. Kelly has a good friend in her.']

I blushed as I gathered my thoughts, "That and the night before because in both cases I had oral sex with Johnny Aunt Debbie." ['Even now, I can remember every moment of the passion. I hope that Aunt Debbie has such wonderful memories.']

"And you instigated both encounters?" [' I know it has to be her because that Johnny doesn't have that much gumption.']

"Yes Grandpa, I know now how foolish I was to do it. I thought that being Kelly boy and playing sports with him would be enough. Being Kelly girl ignited a fire in me that I hope to control." ['If not for that, I'd still be with you Johnny my love.']

"Kelly, after the kidnapping, you lost it when you saw your hands, Why?' [' Did she lose her innocence then, or have YOU renewed it LORD?']

"Because I thought that I had killed them, [sniff, sniff] I have been trained in karate up to black belt level, [sniff, sniff] and I can easily kill with one blow.[sniff, sniff] I was convinced that I had sinned against both GOD,[sniff, sniff] and my Teachings.[sniff, sniff] I felt that I should have died in their place Granny[sniff, sniff," I wept as I held up my hands, recalling the anguish that I felt back then.

Aunt Debbie came over and held me as I cried myself out while Granny and Grandpa hugged us both, "Yet you are better after a nap and Julie is too. Did you see Jesus?" ['LORD! I am thankful for your accepting me as a girl.']

"Yes I did Auntie, [sniff, sniff] He took away my distress, [sniff, sniff] and healed me when I gave up my hatred [sniff, sniff] and forgave them," I finished crying as my bitter tears of grief became tears of JOY. ['Has Aunt Debbie ever felt such LOVE from YOU LORD? If not, I hope that she does.']

Granny cupped my chin gently as she lifted my face up to meet her gaze, "Now that you are here, is there anything that you want to do while you're here with us?" ['Thank you LORD for renewing her innocence.']

I looked up at her, "Yes Granny, I want to become a real woman like Aunt Debbie if I can." ['Well as real as I can be. Wish that I was a girl like Julie.']

Grandpa gently hugged me and led me back to his lounge chair, "If that is your wish, then we will help you to become a woman. I don't understand why, you feel this way. All that I know is that I see a sweet, gentle young woman before me. I almost lost Brian years ago because I neglected him, I will NOT make that mistake with you Kelly." ['LORD! You have given me a chance to redeem myself through Kelly, I will not fail you.']

Granny came over and placed a rose pendant in my hand, "Kelly, let this rose symbolize your journey. For as in the song, you shall bloom from your winter in a spring of new hope. My child, you have a much harder road than my daughter did, but like Debbie, you too will bloom." [' LORD! Help me to nurture Kelly as she grows into a young woman.']

I looked at the pendant, remembering that drive up here with Aunt Debbie, "Granny, did you know that Aunt Debbie played that Bette Middler song when she drove me up here?" To tell the truth everybody, I kinda feel like a rose," I sighed as I admitted to everybody how I felt. ['Why does that particular song call out to me? Are you trying to tell me something through it GOD?']

Then Grandpa placed a red rose in my other hand, "Kelly, [sniff, sniff] when my son Brian told me that he felt that he was really a girl inside,[sniff, sniff] I lost it and called him vile names. [sniff, sniff] It was only after I saw him dressed as Debbie, [sniff, sniff] I knew that I was wrong and accepted my daughter. [sniff, sniff] My only regret is that I was not there when she needed me when she was attacked. [sniff, sniff] Now that you are a rose that must go through a winter to bloom in the spring, [sniff, sniff] I vow to be there for you and see you through," he openly wept as he told me his shame. ['I know that Debbie, Lizzie, and Terri have forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself.']

I placed both roses on a saucer, then I hugged them as I cried tears of joy. I felt safe and secure with them, I knew that I could trust them to be there when I needed them. I thanked GOD for their love. I looked at them, "Thanks. I can never thank you enough for letting me be here." ['No wonder momma loves roses! She has roses of every color on her skirts, blouses, and undies.']

We hugged and I went to bed because I felt tired. I looked at my two gifts and remembered Bette Middler's song 'The Rose' and how it applied to me. Could I actually be like the rose? Will I bloom in my new spring? Will I marry Johnny?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At this time, Granny was praying about me: "My grandchild Kelly has chosen her path now. She has been through many heartaches and is still the sweet, gentle innocent soul that she was before. Terri has given us a gift of surpassing beauty in Kelly. Now it is up to us to teach her and help her to grow into the woman she is inside.

"But I sense a darkness within her that she has yet to face concerning herself and Johnny. We must be ready for when she faces it because like Debbie, she will despair and lose hope. If she dies, it will break my beloved's heart. Please LORD, protect Kelly from her darkness. and give her the strength to overcome it. In YOUR NAME, AMEN."

~~~~~~~~~~

This is what Grandpa was praying in his heart: "My LORD, YOU have given me a second chance in Kelly. After the fiasco of my turning Brian away, her brother Stu showed me my error and when I saw Debbie, I saw my beautiful daughter and accepted her. Then when she was attacked at Halloween, I was not there because the bastards had used their dad to lead me away.

"I know that they're still in prison, but I lost the friendship of their fathers who moved away to get away from the memories. Now with Kelly I will NOT make the same mistake! But I need YOUR help to know what to do. Please give me the Wisdom That I need to help Kelly as she learns and grows into the beautiful woman she is inside. And the ability to see those who would hurt her. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN."

~~~~~~~

Aunt Debbie was praying this: "LORD, Am I the right one for Kelly to learn from? Is there another better suited to be her mentor? I feel so inadequate for the task, yet here I am, mentoring my niece in how to be a woman. Momma and Terri helped me, but I guess that Terri is out because of Johnny and I DO have momma and poppa to help me.

"LORD, all that I ask is for YOU to help me to help Kelly because I know that there are bumps along the way on her journey to completion. Be there for her as YOU were for me. In YOUR mighty and HOLY NAME, AMEN!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Then I prayed before I went to sleep," LORD, am I like love, like a river that drowns the tender reed, or am I the reed? Am I like love, a razor, that leaves the soul to bleed, Or am I the bleeding soul? Am I like Love, a hunger, an endless, aching need? Because right now, I feel empty inside."

"Or am I like love, a flower only a seed? Am I a promise, a possibility? My heart is afraid of breaking, LORD, will I ever learn to dance? If so, who will I dance with? Am I a dream that's afraid of waking, will I ever take the chance to fly? Or am I one who won't be taken, who can not seem to give? Will I ever be able to share my heart? Will my soul stay afraid of dying and never learn to live?"

"LORD, the night has been too lonely. The road has been too long. No LORD, I do not think that love is only for the lucky and the strong. For in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow is the seed that with the sun's love, that in the spring, becomes the ROSE! May I be that Rose LORD? Will I be like Aunt Debbie and bloom in my new Spring? LORD, I hope so! AMEN!"

Then I went to bed and slept peacefully for my nightmares were finally gone. My Hope had been renewed and I could see clearly now my path. I knew that my family and friends were with me and GOD Loved me for Who I was.

That night, I dreamed about daddy still being alive and giving me away at my wedding to Johnny. Julie was my Maid of Honor, Constable Sebastian Johnny's Best Man. Aunt Debbie was my Flower Girl. Now I know that little girls are supposed to be Flower Girls, but since she was never a little girl, this was our way of letting her be a girl child for a day.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 15-Through The Gate By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:After rescuing Julie and dealing with the trauma of the ordeal, Kelly make a momentous decision that will change the lives of everybody as she embarks upon the path of completion.

---

* * *

We were on our way back to the farm after our gym workout at the spa. I felt tired, yet full of energy as if I had to make a decision and a great weight had been lifted. I now knew that I had a decision to make about myself and only Aunt Debbie could help me. She had gone through a transition that I wanted, so she was my guide on my journey now. Aunt Debbie pulled into a gas station to refuel, and I went to the restroom to tinkle. I saw my girl's groin and how realistic it looked. I touched my new girlhood and it felt great! I actually came to an orgasm as I touched myself down there. I quickly cleaned up and the smell of my discharge was musky and fresh. I redressed and got myself a root beer [my favorite, especially with butter pecan ice cream] and a cream soda for Aunt Debbie.

I approached the counter to pay and saw a perfect Santa at the register, except that he wore a red plaid shirt under his overalls, "Well, who is this delicate flower who graces my establishment today?" he asked merrily with a twinkle in his eyes.

I blushed at the attention, "But Santa, [giggle] surely you know that it's me, [giggle] Kelly," I giggled. ['He must be called Santa a lot, especially near Christmas.']

Then he leaned his head back and laughed, "HO! HO! HO! I am not that merry old Elf. I am Christopher Snow, I own this store." ['I can see that she has a love of life like I do.']

"Well, at least you have a good Christmas name," I smirked. [' Wonder if he has a red truck or sleigh.']

"Yes I do Kelly, that'll be $2.50 for the drinks. Are you paying for the gas, too?" ['Her friend is a beauty too.']

I pointed to Aunt Debbie who was filling the car, "No Sir, my Aunt Debbie is." [Looks as if he liked her from the look on his face.']

"Why not you? Can't you drive?"

"Oh, I can, I have a black Thunderbird, but its home."

He smiled at me, "Guess this is a Girl's Day for you two then."

"Actually, we're returning from helping my best friend with a problem."

Then he noticed a pin on my shoulder, "Is that pin from the Rest Area Chapel?"

"Yes, I got it from Father Downing and Sister Mary last Christmas, why?"

"Well, I am a member of their church."

"That's nice. They've said that they mainly minister to truckers and transients."

"Yep, I used to drive a truck until my son, Paul Junior took over. Now I run Poppa's store since he died."

Aunt Debbie came in and approached the counter, "Sir, do you accept VISA?" she asked as she held out her card. ['I can see by the look on her face that Kelly did it in the restroom. It's time to talk to her about it.']

He accepted it and ran it through the slot, "Yes ma'am. That's $12.95, need anything else?" ['This beauty looks like my daughter except that she is a bit taller.']

"No sir, that's all." Then she turned around to leave. ['Why is he staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?']

I picked up my purchase and followed Aunt Debbie, "See ya' Santa!" I called back as the door closed behind me. ['I can't help but to get in a parting shot at him. He and Grandpa both could be Santa.']

Before she got in the car, Aunt Debbie looked at me with a smirk, "Well, did you enjoy yourself in the restroom?" ['Poor girl, I know that I've caught her off guard just like Momma did it to me years ago.']

I stood there, totally aghast at what she had just asked, "WHAT? How did you know?" ['Is she psychic too?']

She opened the door and smiled, "It is no secret that a girl likes to check herself out and even masturbate, and it's OK to admit it. In fact, all young women have done it at times." ['She needs to know that it's natural to explore.']

I got in after she had unlocked my door, "Yes I did. I couldn't believe that I could pleasure myself that way, but instead of semen coming out; it was clear and had a musky sweet odor to it. Why?" ['Now that I think about it, kinda like Johnny in a way.']

She started the car, "When we get home, I'll let you read the literature about it." ['She'll me amazed at what she reads and those stories will help too.']

I put in a C.D. by ' Alabama ' and selected 'My Home Is in Alabama ', "OK." ['Somehow, this song feels right.']

She smiled and sang along with me, "Good choice Kelly, but why that song?" ['Does she feel homesick?']

I patted her on the arm, "Because I am going to my new home to learn all about myself and grow."

"And that you shall do, I promise you that."

* * *

During this time, Momma and the Woods were talking about the ordeal and how to help Julie. She was at a counseling session discussing her encounter and her feelings. Johnny was there with her since he has that link to her.

Mister Woods sipped his wine cooler and sat it down, "Well, the twins are in counseling about what just happened. But what should we do to help them? Will they be able to go back to school or do we get them a private tutor now? They never wanted that growing up, but that might change." ['LORD, how do I protect my children from harm? Will they go on or will they be scared to live?']

"Well, there is one good thing. Kelly is the same after the ordeal. And she suffered a nervous breakdown too," sighed Mrs. Woods. ['I will never forget her scream or the absolute dismay in her eyes.']

"Yes, my daughter sacrificed herself to help Julie, and made them pay for their crimes. But Julie and Johnny both are suffering now and I am at a loss on what to do." ['Being Stu's wife hasn't prepared me for this.']

"Constable Sebastian has promised to oversee the installation of security cameras throughout the schools that we are paying for," said Mister Woods as he passed around a folder. ['A bit late, but I will feel better now.']

Glancing at the folder, Mrs. Woods nodded approval, "Have the students privacy been seen about? The A.C.L.U. will have our heads if there are any cameras in the showers or dressing rooms. Those people get their claws into anything that they can and make life miserable for everybody." ['I hope that Chuck's friend Sebastian has taken them into account for our sake.']

"Don't worry Lynn . Sebastian has handled them before when pastor Linden had Debbie attacked. They wailed about his rights being violated by not allowed bail, but Sebastian's friend Judge Henry Block shut them up," Momma sighed as she remembered the Hell that she went through for Aunt Debbie. ['Running the gauntlet of the press and facing down those liberal phonies has helped me to help Kelly.']

Johnny and Julie came in and ran over and hugged their parents, then she sat in her daddy's lap like she was a baby and snuggled up to him, "We're home, Daddy! Do we have to go back?" ['I know that he wants us to go, but it's so yucky.']

Mrs. Woods passed a bottle of soda to both twins, "And just why do you want to stop going Julie, you've only been once." ['Have we been wrong to force them to go?']

"Because Julie and I don't need some group to talk to, we have each other, but Julie did find a boy she likes," informed Johnny as he opened both sodas. ['Julie, I hope that this guy is worth it.']

Mister Woods frowned, "I do not like hearing this. Why should you stop the counseling?'

Julie looked at him with her pleading eyes that he could never deny, "Daddy, Momma, I had a dream, just like Kelly does. And I no longer hurt because of the ordeal." ['Even now, I feel warm inside remembering the dream.']

Mrs. Woods gathered Johnny into her arms, "And what about you?" ['He looks like he is worrying about something. What is it?']

Johnny blushed, "When Julie was healed, so was I. I had a ring side seat to her dream."

Mister Woods cleared his throat, "Then why have you also been seeing Pastor Patrick and Joan?" ['Has Johnny lost his Faith?']

"Daddy, I needed to find a balance in my mind between what I felt from Julie during the ordeal and the fact that I'm a guy," he sighed. ['Can I ever truly love Kelly, now?']

Julie hugged him, "I hate that you were involved the way that you were. It must have been hell for you, Bro," she wept silently.

He wiped her tears away with tee back of his hand, "I'm not."

"Why? You were hurt because of me!"

"Because if not for the link, you would have suffered a lot more. We were able to rescue you less than an hour after the link kicked in." ['Lord, I know that you allowed it, but I do wish that there was another way.']

"OK. Bro. But don't you dare think that you know more about us girls, now. You don't!" she grinned.

"I won't, I promise, after all, there's also Kelly, and she is in a class all by herself."

"Why thank you Johnny. Stu and I did our best," sighed Momma. ['Even now, I feel guilty for not being there for her.']

Johnny blushed, "You are most welcome, Momma Moore."

"Who is this young man Julie?" asked Momma. ['Who could capture her heart after she lost Kelly?']

"Mark White."

Mister Woods stood up quickly, dumping Julie who lands on her feet, "OH NO! NOT ONE OF HIS LOONIES!"

Mrs. Woods placated him, "Chuck, do you trust Julie?"

"You know that I do, Anne. Why?"

"She made a choice that we don't like, will you listen to her before you pass judgment?"

He looked down at the tear stained face of his distraught daughter, and knew that he had broken her heart, "Julie, please forgive me. I love you, and I was speaking out of fear for you." he implored as he knelt before her, crying.

She hugged him and laid her head on his shoulder, "Oh, [sniff, sniff] Daddy! [Sob] I know that you love me, [sniff, sniff] but when you just now hollered, [sigh] I was afraid again, [sob] like I was during the ordeal," she wept.

Johnny stood by her, "Dad, I discovered recently that Julie and I are telepathically linked to each other. I can tell that this Mark was a true gentleman with my sister. If she had a choice on who was her first, it'd be Mark."

"Anne, Love. Please go and prepare us some dinner. I believe that our children are hungry."

She got up, "Should I prepare for Mark, too?"

"Yes, I believe that we just might want to meet Jools friend, he sighed. [For years, I have wondered if Julie would find a boy friend. Looks as if she has.']

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"May I invite ark over for Dinner?"

"Be my guest."

Mark came over for dinner and was a true gentleman, allying the fear that he was like linden. As they got to know Mark, they found a young man whose moral fiber was stronger than the teachings that he learned. Marcus Leonard White was orphaned while a preschooler. His parents chose Avery Linden as the godfather, not knowing about him being a defrocked preacher.
Using his access to ark's accounts, he was able to build his church and private school.

By the time that Mark graduated from high school, his accounts were empty. That is why all of the properties owned by that church are now Mark's and he turned out to have profited, too. Mark has a nice fully furnished house not far from the estate that he donated to the Tri-City United Methodist Church as a home for college students. Now he lives in a studio apartment over an old warehouse.

* * *

We drove in silence for awhile, listening to the music. The 'Alabama C.D. had finished and now we were listening to a C.D. of 'Time Life' love songs. I was thinking about how my life had changed ever since that Halloween party when I became Tinkerbell. Would I have found Kelly girl if I had been Peter, Pan instead of Johnny? Both characters wore tights as a part of the costume, but only Tink wore a panty.

As we were approaching the off ramp to the farm, I got the courage to talk to Aunt Debbie, "Aunt Debbie, can we talk?" ['I wonder if she has been waiting for this.']

She glanced towards me with confusion, then she nodded as if she knew what I wanted, "Yes Kelly. I guess that we do need to talk since; I know what you need to know about becoming a woman. Am I right?" [' I can see her confusion from here. I am glad that I can help her because I know what it's like not having the support of a mentor.']

I sheepishly blushed as I realized that she saw through me, "Yes Ma'am, you're right. I was wondering when you knew that you wanted to be a girl or at least dress as a girl. I wonder if there is a difference." ['Lord! I pray that Aunt Debbie will answer my questions, and if not her, then Granny.']

It took her a few minutes for her to reply as she gathered her thoughts together, "For me, there was no difference since I was attacked and had my bits crushed. After that, I transitioned from Brian into Debbie," she sighed. Even today, I have nightmares of the attack. I don't want for you to suffer as I do." ['Lord, will she suffer such a loss as I have?']

The C.D. ended and I shut off the player, "But what about when you first wanted to be a girl? Was it like me and Tinkerbell?" [' I wonder if like me, she has pictures of herself as a girl from when she was as young, as I was when I was Tinkerbell.']

She looked over at me and smiled, "I was about the same age as you were when you were Tinkerbell, but in my case, your mother Terri was taking ballet and I was helping her. She got me to wear a spare leotard and tights that she had. After I saw myself as a girl and the feel of the hose, I was hooked." [' Funny how we both have similar tales of girlhood.']

"And Grandpa was not liking it at first right? I remember what he said about not being there for you." [' Grandpa has sure changed since then if so. All that I know is that I love him, and he loves me.']

"Yes, he hated me at first for wanting to dress as a girl, but thanks to my brother Stu's acceptance of me as a girl, Grandpa saw that he was losing me and that made him question himself. When he saw me in one of Terri's dresses and hose, he finally saw his daughter, Debbie, and accepted me," she sighed as she remembered that day. ['LORD! If not for my big brother Stu, Grandpa would not have accepted me, Thanks for Stu.']

I turned to her and struggled to find my voice. Finally, after several minutes I found my voice, "You mean to tell me that you and Daddy are related?" [' What else about my family am I to learn about I wonder.']

"Yes, Stu and I were brothers and when our parents died, since Momma and Poppa were our Godparents, they adopted us.'I do miss them, but I was your age when they died from a faulty heater. It's hard to even think that I am really adopted. To me, I am their daughter, by birth, and I am sure that my brother Stu would say that he felt the same as I do." ['Glad that Kelly still has Terri.']

"What? Daddy would say that he feels like he was their daughter by birth? I don't think so Aunt Debbie," I grinned [' Thank you LORD! You have returned my quirky sense of humor to me. Poor Aunt Debbie has not been my victim till now.']

"YOU SCAMP!! You know good and well what I mean," she giggled as she wiped her eyes. [' Now I know what Terri meant.']

"Ah! But that is NOT what you said about my dear daddy Aunt Debbie," I smirked as she did a fish-face at my response. [' It's almost as much fun baiting her as it is Momma. It feels good to laugh again.']

She shook her head and smiled, "Touché' Kelly. [Giggle] Your daddy Stu felt that he was really their son by birth, not adopted. SATISFIED EINSTEIN?" She giggled. [If this is how she's gonna be around Momma and Poppa, they'll be laughing their heads off at her antics.']

I handed her a diet soda which I had opened for her that she took a swig of, and then recapped the bottle, "Yes Aunt Debbie. But tell me please; uh, did you have any boyfriends at all while you were growing up? Or did Grandpa say no to boyfriends?" ['Maybe if Momma had said no to me, I'd still be with her.']

"No, not really. I didn't have a Ronzi's like you did and no boys wanted me to help them with their dates. You see, I wasn't as outgoing as you are Kelly. I was a wallflower, afraid to open up to others. But now, after I met a few boys after graduating, I blossomed into a girl very much like you, minus the prancing, though," she smirked."

"Too bad Auntie, you missed out on a lot of fun times. I know that I had fun when I did," I sighed remembering the past. ['Maybe I can teach her to be more outgoing and lad back. She is beautiful and deserves to be happy.']

By that time, we were back at the farm and as we got out, a big shaggy sheepdog bounded up and knocked me over in his greeting, "OK, Shaggy. I love you too, but you're too big to jump on me, ya' big lummox," I laughed as he showered me with sloppy kisses. ['Lovable mongrel! Wonder where Grandpa got him from?']

"HEEL SHAGGY!!" called out Grandpa as he came up on his faithful old tractor. It was as ancient as he was, but like Grandpa, there was no rust, but there were a few scratches and dents from its years of service. It was on it that I had learned how to drive, just like Momma had.

Aunt Debbie stood over me with a big grin on her face, "Well, Daddy, I see that you're letting the chow hound greet your guests again," Aunt Debbie chortled. ['I'm glad the he went after Kelly instead of me today, but knowing him, I'm gonna be next.']

Then Shaggy bounded after Aunt Debbie who ran away from him and he gave chase as she merrily led him around the yard, giggling all the time as he 'woofed' behind her. This was their game they played whenever he saw her unless she sat down, and then he'd get in her lap for a tummy rub.

Then I heard the front porch screen door close behind Granny, "OK, Debbie. Are you through playing with your bed buddy?" asked a smirking Granny as she stood on the front porch. ['Those two would run and play all day if they could. If not for Shaggy, she wouldn't have met her boyfriend.']

Then Shaggy succeeded in catching her and she went down with a squeal of delight as Shaggy landed his sloppy kisses on her, "Yeah, Momma, Since Shag's here has finally caught me," she laughed with glee. ['No matter how bad I feel Shaggy's sloppy kisses wash away my gloom. Thank you Jesus for my friend.']

Grandpa hugged me after he helped me up, "Well, Kelly. Looks as if Shags has given you his sloppy welcome," he grinned. ['That mutt can sense when a person is bad or not. He's given Debbie many an early warning.']

"Yeah Grandpa, I never got my face so thoroughly washed by a dog before. I'm sure that the Woods would love him to bits."

"Then why pray tell DON'T they have any critters?"

"The only reason there are no cats or dogs is that Julie and Johnny are allergic to their fur, Grandpa."

Then he handed me an ever present hanky that he kept in his overalls and I wiped my face clean of dog slobber, "Well, come on in girl, dinner is ready and a waiting. I am sure that you have quite a story to tell us," he said with warmth. ['I am ready to hear Kelly's story unlike I was when Brian told me about being Debbie.']

He shook his head and grinned as I handed him back his now damp hanky which he then tossed to Granny who caught it and put it in her apron, "Have you talked to Momma or the Woods?" [' Silly me, Momma called Auntie.']

He led me over to Granny, "Yes, Terri called and told us what happened, but we want to hear about it from you. If you want to tell us, that is." [' I know from experience with Debbie that she'll need to talk to us about it for her peace of mind.']

"I am ready to talk about it Grandpa. I hope that y'all have plenty of Kleenex, because it is a tearjerker," I sighed. [' Can I sound any more like a Drama Queen? Or am I being a silly goose now?']

Then he bear hugged me as Granny, Aunt Debbie, and Shaggy came up, "We know, Kelly. And we are here for you." ['She's still so sweet and innocent even after her ordeal! Thank You LORD for helping my grandchild.']

Aunt Debbie attached a leash to Shaggy's collar that she'd gotten out of her car, "I'll take Shaggy out to the barn daddy." ['Why he was regulated to the barn is a shame, Kelly was never allergic before.']

He undid the leash and pocketed it, "Let him stay Debbie, the only reason we put him out there last time was that he was out at the duck pond. NOT because Kelly's allergic to him." ['Poor kids. They love animals, but can't stand their fur. Well, guess that it's up to me to fix it.']

* * *

Grandpa did find an organic relief for them and others. He found a combination of herbs that thoroughly cleansed the fur and worked with the fur to prevent dandruff by using the body's oils to kill it and fleas and tics. Unfortunately, it only worked for Julie and Johnny because of their unique heritage.

* * *

We were spoiled with a scrumptious dinner of pot roast with apple pie ala mode for desert. Aunt Debbie and I offered to help clean up, but we were forced to sit in the living room watching the movie 'Ice Angel' as they cleaned up the kitchen. Then they joined us in the living room and I told them about the ordeal and my wish to be a girl, not to just dress like one.

Granny led me over to Grandpa's lounge chair, "Here you go, Kelly. Sit here and tell us your story from the beginning." ['Even though we know, we want to here her thoughts so we can better help her.']

I couldn't believe it! I was to sit in Grandpa's chair? Only he sat here and smoked his pipe of herbs, "But this is Grandpa's chair, not mine Granny!" ['I don't want to disrespect Grandpa! Why is she doing this?']

Grandpa led me over and sat me in his seat, "Today, you sit here and tell us your tale my grandchild. I know that you're showing me respect, but I WANT you to sit here." ['Poor child thinks I'm an ogre about my chair.']

I hugged him in thanks and gratitude for his gift, "OK, thanks Grandpa for letting me sit in your lounger." Then I spent a few moments getting myself ready while they sat down around me in the sofas.

Aunt Debbie brought out tea for everybody but pointedly handed Grandpa his '#1 GRANDPA' glass that I had given him last Christmas, "But you don't get 'MY' glass Sport," he chuckled. ['She gave me this for my birthday and now it's my favorite glass.']

I smiled at their attempt at humor and started on my story, "It all started when I dressed as Tinkerbell for Halloween, I was gonna be Peter Pan, but Mrs. Woods picked up the wrong costume," I smiled and blushed as I remembered the events that led me into becoming Kelly girl for the first time. ['Daddy, I wonder if you ever did see me as your little girl while you were living.']

Granny sat down her glass and sighed, "So, if not for that, you'd not have discovered Kelly girl." ['I saw her picture from that Halloween party and all that I saw was Kelly girl.']

I saw that they were gonna go back to when Kelly girl was born, "Yeah, Granny. Wearing that dress and tights and sleeping in them that night started me on my journey as Kelly girl." ['If not for that, what other event would have triggered my entry into being Kelly girl?']

Grandpa fidgeted, "And the Woods accepted you as Kelly girl?" ['LORD! Will I ever find peace in my heart for what I did to Debbie years ago?']

I took a sip of my drink, "Uh huh. That was after Daddy died and I'd been having nightmares about it, but wearing Julie's tops and shorts at night stopped that Grandpa." ['Even then, with my long hair, I could pass as a girl.']

Aunt Debbie looked at me with tears in her eyes, "What about this doctor that hurt you?" ['I was brutally attacked, was Kelly's hurt any less traumatic for her?']

Granny wiped Aunt Debbie's tears away, "He actually thought that I wanted to be a girl, so he gave me pills and shots that made me start to go through girl's puberty. Because of him the only thing I am missing are breasts. My boy bits are there, but I can only pee. I can't father children. That's why I turned from Julie to Johnny Aunt Debbie."['Having a girl's body as a boy sure was something. I still have my child's voice and I never have shaved, unlike Aunt Debbie when she was Uncle Brian.']

Granny looked at Aunt Debbie, and then at me, "I am sure that when she found that out she threw a fit." [' I threw a royal hissy fit when I saw what happened to Brian; I lost my son, but gained a daughter.']

"She did Granny, and I don't blame her. But she is still my best friend. In fact, she helped me out a lot when I needed help with Johnny," I sighed as I once again felt Julie's anger and dismay when she pounded my chest back then. ['That is one Hell that I NEVER want to go through again! I hated hurting her, but I had to be truthful about myself.']

Aunt Debbie smiled, "You mean when she helped you at the dinner party?" ['That girl is so sweet. Kelly has a good friend in her.']

I blushed as I gathered my thoughts, "That and the night before because in both cases I had oral sex with Johnny Aunt Debbie." ['Even now, I can remember every moment of the passion. I hope that Aunt Debbie has such wonderful memories.']

"And you instigated both encounters?" [' I know it has to be her because that Johnny doesn't have that much gumption.']

"Yes Grandpa, I know now how foolish I was to do it. I thought that being Kelly boy and playing sports with him would be enough. Being Kelly girl ignited a fire in me that I hope to control." ['If not for that, I'd still be with you Johnny my love.']

"Kelly, after the kidnapping, you lost it when you saw your hands, Why?' [' Did she lose her innocence then, or have YOU renewed it LORD?']

"Because I thought that I had killed them, [sniff, sniff] I have been trained in karate up to black belt level, [sniff, sniff] and I can easily kill with one blow.[sniff, sniff] I was convinced that I had sinned against both GOD,[sniff, sniff] and my Teachings.[sniff, sniff] I felt that I should have died in their place Granny[sniff, sniff," I wept as I held up my hands, recalling the anguish that I felt back then.

Aunt Debbie came over and held me as I cried myself out while Granny and Grandpa hugged us both, "Yet you were better after a nap and Julie was too. Did you see Jesus?" ['LORD! I am thankful for your accepting me as a girl.']

"Yes I did Auntie, [sniff, sniff] He took away my distress, [sniff, sniff] and healed me when I gave up my hatred [sniff, sniff] and forgave them," I finished crying as my bitter tears of grief became tears of JOY. ['Has Aunt Debbie ever felt such LOVE from YOU LORD? If not, I hope that she does.']

Granny cupped my chin gently as she lifted my face up to meet her gaze, "Now that you are here, is there anything that you want to do while you're here with us?" ['Thank you LORD for renewing her innocence.']

I looked up at her, "Yes Granny, I want to become a real woman like Aunt Debbie if I can." ['Well as real as I can be. Wish that I was a girl like Julie.']

Grandpa gently hugged me and led me back to his lounge chair, "If that is your wish, then we will help you to become a woman. I don't understand why, you feel this way. All that I know is that I see a sweet, gentle young woman before me. I almost lost Brian years ago because I neglected him, I will NOT make that mistake with you Kelly." ['LORD! You have given me a chance to redeem myself through Kelly, I will not fail you.']

Granny came over and placed a rose pendant in my hand, "Kelly, let this rose symbolize your journey. For as in the song, you shall bloom from your winter in a spring of new hope. My child, you have a much harder road than my daughter did, but like Debbie, you too will bloom." [' LORD! Help me to nurture Kelly as she grows into a young woman.']

I looked at the pendant, remembering that drive up here with Aunt Debbie, "Granny, did you know that Aunt Debbie played that Bette Middler song when she drove me up here? To tell the truth everybody, I kinda feel like a rose," I sighed as I admitted to everybody how I felt. ['Why does that particular song call out to me? Are you trying to tell me something through it GOD?']

Then Grandpa placed a red rose in my other hand, "Kelly, [sniff, sniff] when my son Brian told me that he felt that he was really a girl inside,[sniff, sniff] I lost it and called him vile names. [Sniff, sniff] It was only after I saw him dressed as Debbie, [sniff, sniff] I knew that I was wrong and accepted my daughter. [Sniff, sniff] My only regret is that I was not there when she needed me when she was attacked. [Sniff, sniff] Now that you are a rose that must go through a winter to bloom in the spring, [sniff, sniff] I vow to be there for you and see you through," he openly wept as he told me his shame. ['I know that Debbie, Lizzie, and Terri have forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself.']

I placed both roses on a saucer, and then I hugged them as I cried tears of joy. I felt safe and secure with them, I knew that I could trust them to be there when I needed them. I thanked GOD for their love. I looked at them, "Thanks. I can never thank you enough for letting me be here." ['No wonder Momma loves roses! She has roses of every color on her skirts, blouses, and undies.']

We hugged and I went to bed because I felt tired. I looked at my two gifts and remembered Bette Middler's song 'The Rose' and how it applied to me. Could I actually be like the rose? Will I bloom in my new spring? Will I marry Johnny?

* * *

At this time, Granny was praying about me: "My grandchild Kelly has chosen her path now. She has been through many heartaches and is still the sweet, gentle innocent soul that she was before. Terri has given us a gift of surpassing beauty in Kelly. Now it is up to us to teach her and help her to grow into the woman she is inside.

"But I sense darkness within her that she has yet to face concerning herself and Johnny. We must be ready for when she faces it because like Debbie, she will despair and lose hope. If she dies, it will break my beloved's heart. Please LORD, protect Kelly from her darkness. And give her the strength to overcome it. In YOUR NAME, AMEN."

* * *

This is what Grandpa was praying in his heart: "My LORD, YOU have given me a second chance in Kelly. After the fiasco of my turning Brian away, her brother Stu showed me my error and when I saw Debbie, I saw my beautiful daughter and accepted her. Then when she was attacked at Halloween, I was not there because the bastards had used their dad to lead me away.

"I know that they're still in prison, but I lost the friendship of their fathers who moved away to get away from the memories. Now with Kelly I will NOT make the same mistake! But I need YOUR help to know what to do. Please give me the Wisdom That I need to help Kelly as she learns and grows into the beautiful woman she is inside. And the ability to see those who would hurt her. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN."

* * *

Aunt Debbie was praying this: "LORD, Am I the right one for Kelly to learn from? Is there another better suited to be her mentor? I feel so inadequate for the task, yet here I am, mentoring my niece in how to be a woman. Momma and Terri helped me, but I guess that Terri is out because of Johnny and I DO have momma and poppa to help me.

"LORD, all that I ask is for YOU to help me to help Kelly because I know that there are bumps along the way on her journey to completion. Be there for her as YOU were for me. In YOUR mighty and HOLY NAME, AMEN!"

* * *

Then I prayed before I went to sleep," LORD, am I like love, like a river that drowns the tender reed, or am I the reed? Am I like love, a razor that leaves the soul to bleed, or am I the bleeding soul? Am I like Love, a hunger, an endless, aching need? Because right now, I feel empty inside."

"Or am I like love, a flower only a seed? Am I a promise, a possibility? My heart is afraid of breaking, LORD; will I ever learn to dance? If so, who will I dance with? Am I a dream that's afraid of waking, will I ever take the chance to fly? Or am I one who won't be taken, who can not seem to give? Will I ever be able to share my heart? Will my soul stay afraid of dying and never learn to live?"

"LORD, the night has been too lonely. The road has been too long. No LORD, I do not think that love is only for the lucky and the strong. For in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow is the seed that with the sun's love, that in the spring becomes the ROSE! May I be that Rose LORD? Will I be like Aunt Debbie and bloom in my new spring? LORD, I hope so! AMEN!"

Then I went to bed and slept peacefully for my nightmares were finally gone. My Hope had been renewed and I could see clearly now my path. I knew that my family and friends were with me and GOD Loved me for whom I was.

That night, I dreamed about daddy still being alive and giving me away at my wedding to Johnny. Julie was my Maid of Honor; Constable Sebastian Johnny's Best Man. Aunt Debbie was my Flower Girl. Now I know that little girls are supposed to be Flower Girls, but since she was never a little girl, this was our way of letting her be a girl child for a day.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 16-Despair By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:As Kelly grows into her womanhood, all seems to be going well, but a tragic encounter with Johnny kills her spirit, leaving her in despair.

---

* * *

I became popular and was soon joining the Cheerleaders and attending the games. I dressed out, but since I did not know the routines, I never did any stunts until my senior year. Then I became Head Cheerleader because of my abilities, much to the chagrin of others who thought that they had earned the title, but even those girls had to admit that I was better qualified.

When they discovered my original gender, they were amazed that my breast forms and gaffe made me look like a girl, and when they saw what little bit of boyhood I had, they admitted that I couldn't do a thing with it, but pee. When I showed them Johnny's picture, they admitted that they'd have done what I'd done with him.

Being accepted as a girl was a balm upon my Heart. Up here, even though I was still known as Kelly from Ronzi's, I was also known as a new girl with a bit of a difference. Brian/Debbie was well known here, and was respected as store owner and teacher here.

When Granny and Grandpa had accepted Debbie, so did the community. Not even the barbed venom from that bastard preacher that grandpa used to listen to would make a difference. When he had Brian attacked, it woke up the church and quickly divided it.

Grandpa became the leader of those that stayed in the troubled Tri-County United Methodist Church and welcomed Pastor Patrick when he took over as Pastor. After that, they wanted to leave, but Pastor Patrick convinced them to stay and become community leaders, using their connections to help the church to recover from the split.

The bastard pastor led his people to form his church just beyond Constable Sebastian's jurisdiction in sheriff where Judge refused to expedite him which happened until recently when Mister Woods bought the church property that was put up to fund the pastor's ambitions. He expected for his congregation to buy it. But because he did not make sure about the buyer, he lost.

* * *

This is what Granny was thinking about me at the time:

['It is a wonder that Debbie found the strength to help my granddaughter, Kelly. But Debbie has shown the inner strength that I knew she had. When she was Brian, she and our adopted son, Stu were best friends only Stu and Terri knew about Brian's secret desire to become a girl. How sad that it took his being attacked to bring about the birth of Debbie, and taking Stu's intervention to get Joe to finally accept his new daughter.

Joe and I discovered Brian's desire accidentally when his reading those stories at Big Closet. It happened when Brian left his computer on when hr was called to dinner. He was always curious, so we thought that was simply his way of exploring things. Joe and I NEVER curtailed our children from being curious, but when I brought it up at dinner, all hell broke loose.

When I mentioned what I saw on Brian's computer, he got very defensive about it. So much so that Joe told him that he was being unfair, that he was not being judged. But Brian said that dressing as a ballerina for Halloween last year had shown him that he liked wearing dresses. Joe's remark about that not being too bad, because Brian could find a job where wearing dresses was a part of the job.

But Joe was thinking about the stage, being a cop, private investigator, but not what Brian revealed. Brian wanted to live AS woman with the option of becoming one later on. Oh, the vile hatred and venom that spewed from Joe was exactly the words put forth by Avery Linden in his church. But at least Joe did not start hitting on our distraught son. And it took loads of courage for Stu to stand up to Joe.

That broke Joe's rage, seeing his adopted son holding his other son as Brian wept silently. Poor Terri looked at Joe as I did, tears cascading from our eyes as mute testimony to our broken hearts. Then Stu's words of wisdom finally got through to Joe, and he accepted Brian's need to be Debbie. He agreed that Brian could be Debbie around the farm and could go to town to buy Debbie an assortment of skirts, dresses, lingerie, shoes, makeup. And perfume, but would use Brian's unisex clothes for farm work.

Joe STILL blames himself for the birth of Debbie. He went to talk to Hector Brown about buying his small farm. Old Hec had divvied up his land into one acre plots with a large house and barn for his sons and daughters, but they moved into the Tri-County area to be rid of Linden and his poison.

Unfortunately, while Joe was buying it so Hec could join his family, that bastard Linden Avery had his goons to attack and mutilate Brian. Poor Stu had to protect his sister Terri instead of helping Brian. Stu finally saw red and started his attack on them when Constable Sebastian arrived and rounded up those responsible. It was Sebastian that gave a focus for Stu's anger by getting him to become a police officer.

Now, I have his son turned daughter to help become a lady. I know that Anna and Julie have done a lot in teaching Kelly to be a girl, but I and Debbie must teach her the inner strength to resist sex with Johnny, or she will get hurt. If that ever happens, Joe will go on the warpath and take the Law into his own hands.

Me, I have to be here if that ever happens so that Joe will not hate himself for what he may do. He made a promise to be there for Brian, and he wasn't. Now, my Joe has made that same vow for Kelly. Will history repeat itself? Or will Kelly be spared?']

* * *

It was two weeks later, and I had yet to do anything about becoming a woman as I was promised by Aunt Debbie and my grandparents. My grandparents were once again out at the Church, helping with the Church Thrift Store. As was their custom, they loaded up Granny's canned goods and quilts as well as Grandpa's repaired appliances and woodwork. Whatever was not sold was brought back because there was no room for storage. The store was in the Church basement-Fellowship Hall.

Those two love to work with their hands and would go to the thrift stores and collect the discards and remake them. Granny has taken old clothes and turned them into quilts, bedspreads, comforters, and designer originals that she has sold to help raise money for charities that ask for help and for people needing help in paying a hospital bill. But most of her creations are given as gifts, or donated to the Tri-County Thrift Store.

Grandpa's tinkering with machines has given him an insight into how things work. He has rebuilt every kind of farm equipment, automobile, appliances and electronics enough that he has a barn set aside, full of stuff the he has either fixed, or is fixing with Granny's contributions in the loft.

They have a table set up to display their wares, and often spend all day Saturday there just visiting with their many friends. Those tat buy the merchandise are those who have read the ads about the store or heard it on the radio or TV. Over the years, the top quality of the merchandise and Grandpa's tinkerings had earned the store a very high reputation among the commuters and locals.

* * *

This is what Aunt Debbie was thinking about me:

['Kelly will now need to pass as a woman now that she is attending school as a girl. She'll need to get use to the weight staying on her chest as well as the gaffe that will tuck her boy bits safely away and let her look like a girl.

That is perhaps the best thing she will get from being out here with us. She really needs no more training in being a girl. What she needs is time to become a woman away from the temptation of Johnny. I know that the next time that she meets Johnny that she will give herself to him. This time, I hope things fare better.

The first time, Kelly wore a cheerleader uniform when she gave Johnny oral sex, and again not long afterwards. I do not know if it is more lust, or love that they share and it's mainly Kelly's libido in charge with Johnny being the lucky recipient of her attention.

But I can read the signs all too clearly, something is about to happen, but I can't tell exactly, what! Or am I letting my own past cloud my judgement? I can not be sure, but even though that bastard pastor is now locked up, how soon will he be free?

* * *

Aunt Debbie and I were eating breakfast outside in an enclosed gazebo that Grandpa had just built in the backyard. I was wearing a black skirted leotard and white hose in preparation for working out at the gym with Auntie later that day. She was wearing a pink unitard, I was thinking about the fact that she was a girl while I was still physically a boy.

I felt it was time to start, so I turned to Aunt Debbie, "It has been 2 weeks. When do I see a doctor about being turned into a girl?" ['I hope that she won't discourage me from having the surgery.']

Aunt Debbie sighed, "Are you sure and certain that you want to become a girl? Because once you have the operation, there is no going back for you. That's why I've held off on doing anything." ['I must make sure that my niece is ready to make the commitment.']

Then I began to weep, "[sniff, sniff] Ever since I was tin, [sniff, sniff] kerbell I knew.[sniff, sniff]" ['LORD, I am ready to be a girl.']

Then she patted my shoulder, "Then when we get back home from the gym, I shall make a few calls to some friends that can help you transition into a girl, but like me, you can never be a birth mother like Terri," she sighed. ['Like you no doubt, that is the one thing that I hate about not being born a woman.']

"I know that Auntie, but I still must become a woman physically, no matter what the cost is to me. And maybe, just maybe I CAN be a birth mother," I affirmed. ['LORD! Am I crazy for believing that it's even possible?']

* * *

Back at the Tri-County Jail, Constable Sebastian and his son, Augustus were meeting with the Honorable, Milton Ficas in the Judges Chambers.

" Milton , why have you called for us?" asked Gus as they sat down.

"Bad news, guys. Linden is a free man," he sighed. ['These two will simply hate what I have to say.']

They stood up and yelled in unison, "WHAT!!??"

"SIR! WE FINALLY HAVE THAT SCUMBAG AFTER YEARS OF HIS STAYING JUST OUT OF OUR REACH! WHAT HAPPENED!!??"

"Please sit down! I hate this as much as you two, but there's nothing that I can do," he pleaded as they loomed over him. ['I was right! Only their code of honor keeps them from attacking me.']

Constable Sebastian loomed over him as he placed his meaty hands on the desk, "WHY SHOULD I NOT QUIT AFTER THIS?!" ['If I do, I can get him, no matter what.']

"Because he made bail."

Augustus punched a wall, neatly punching through the paneling to the cinder block below, "DAMN IT DAD! WE DID IT BY THE BOOK AND HE STILL GOT OUT!!" ['This is Debbie's worst nightmare made real.']

Constable Sebastian nodded and looked at the judge, "WHO SET BAIL!!??"

Judge Milton activated a monitor, "According to the Court Order, Attorney Fred Phelps."

Constable Sebastian stood up, "How much was his betrayal?"

Judge Milton smiled, the exact amount of the property sale."['Now he and Gus will deal with his betrayal, and stay with the Force.']

"Then he will replace that bastard in my jail, and the proceeds will go to Pastor Patrick, he will know how best to use the property and funds for the Tri-County Church Council."

* * *

It was after our gym workout that something happened that I was not expecting. I had forgotten about Aunt Debbie's breast forms and a gaffe that let me look like a girl. The first time that I had a period was wild. I had just gotten up from taking a nap and was going to shower and change when I saw blood in my groin. "AUNT DEBBIE!!" ['I have to go to the hospital! The gaffe has hurt me somehow!']

She came running into my room and saw my groin and the horror etched on my face, "Fear not Kelly that is the gaffe simulating a period."[I wish that I knew more, but Grandma can help her with that.]

I smiled and slumped onto the toilet in relief, "I thought that I had sprung a leak!" I giggled. "So, this is what being a real girl is all about." [I wonder if I was a real girl if I'd get bloated since momma does.]

Auntie helped me up off the toilet, "Come Kelly, Grandma can help you better than I can. [Giggle] "Wait until you hear just what being a girl is all about when we have to take care of our bodies, then you'll know that being a girl is not all fun and games." [GOD!! I would love to go through a real cycle and give birth, but that's denied us.]

Then I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" [Damn!! I sound like some ditzy blond on some sitcom on T.V.']

"It's your Granny, may I come in?' [No telling what Debbie's done to Kelly; she can be such an imp at times.]

I unlocked the door and turned the knob, "Sure Granny, you're welcome anytime," I responded with a laugh. ['Wonder what she'll say about my bloody groin? first time for me to soil my panty this way.']

When she entered and saw us, she quickly closed the door behind her and locked it, "This is something that Joe shouldn't be privy too since it concerns us girls. When I saw your red groin, I knew that that rascal Debbie had gotten you that special gaffe." I saw Debbie blush;" Now I can teach you all about the secret of being a girl and caring for her body." [Too think that here I am doing this for my granddaughter, but she needs me now since she can't stay home because of John. At least she gets to see her Momma on the weekends.]

"What all do I need to learn? I've already learned how to be a host and hostess thanks to Mrs. Woods."

She smiled as she sat on the toilet while Aunt Debbie produced a sanitary pad and clean undies for me, "True, she did that, but you need to learn about the manners needed for high society. There are certain unwritten rules of etiquette that you need to know that are used by high society and business. Using them, you will gain confidence and poise which is different than hosting a party." ['She already knows the manners, now to add the poise and grace that Debbie's charm school provides.']

I grinned, thinking about the future, "You think that I might need it for later when Johnny starts his own business or starts helping his Daddy?"[Wouldn't that be nice? Could I really be a High Society Lady or Patron of the Arts?]

Granny sighed, "Well, to tell the truth, I never thought of that. Mr. Woods caters mainly to the public, but he has sent me his catering staff to me and he and his wife have been here too." [And he detests having to wear a tuxedo. He's a simple man, really prefers the simple life like we do.]

I showered and dressed in fresh clothing and went with them to Aunt Debbie's store where they led me to her office. Thanks to Granny and Aunt Debbie, I learned all about keeping myself clean and how to care for my now feminine looking body. I never knew that a woman had so much to do to stay clean and pure in her bits.

* * *

Back at Tri-County High School , Johnny was meeting with some fellow players after practice. He was not particularly close to them since they did not like either Johnny or Kelly, being members of the bastard pastor's Shining Light Church .

"Well, if it isn't that fag-boy lover, Johnny," sneered Ron Apricot; Defensive Back as he lay in the lounger. His bulk easily matched Johnny's and his mahogany skin and hairless head showed an air of assumed authority. ['This freak needs to learn his place. No fag lovers allowed on the team.']

"Careful there, Ron. You know how Coach hates such attitudes." ['He has been getting more hateful ever since Kelly left, why?']

"Well, Mister Goody Two Shoes is NOT here!" announced Dave Waters; Defensive Back. His Nordic body an equal to Johnny's well-conditioned physique. ['Only his dad's money keeps him on the team. If not for all of the equipment and uniforms that he buys for the team, Johnny would be canned.']

"And where is he then?"

"That wuss is being kept busy by our revered pastor. I am sure that you've heard of him. You have certainly caused him trouble," sneered Ron. ['Seeing that fag in drag was an abomination that made Ronzi his money. Now to destroy that fag in drag.']

"DAMN IT! THAT BASTARD SHOULD BE BEHIND BARS!!"

"Simple, he made bail," chuckled Martin West: Quarterback. His Navajo heritage evident in spite of his adoptive parent's surname. His parents were visiting a local Cherokee reservation when they died during a boating mishap. Their son had no identification, so was adopted by Martin and Tina West.

"So, what is the idea? Beat me up?' asked Johnny as he positioned himself for a fight.

"No, not at all, Johnny," sneered Conner McCray: Tight End. His Irish ancestry evident in his red hair. ['Once he does as we order, Kelly will be mush. only that fag's hold on Johnny keeps her alive.']

Johnny dropped his guard, "Then what?"

"Simple, wuss you break up with Kelly, preferably after some intimacy," chuckled Conner.

"And just why would I want to do that?"

"To protect the coach from getting fired and replaced with one of our."

"Just how long do I have?"

"Until she graduates from that charm school."

"OK." ['Dear Lord, Am I right to do it?"]

* * *

NOW I had a greater appreciation for all women and truly regretted those snide remarks to Julie when she had her off week. I vowed to ask her forgiveness when next I saw her. It was a week later that it happened. She'd come up with Momma for the weekend.

"Hiya Julie" Then I hugged her to me. I was wearing a green pastel swimdress and she was wearing a pink bikini. We were swimming in Grandpa's pond that was used to water the livestock.

Julie smiled as she saw me approach her as she sunbathed on the shore after our quick dip, "Hi Kelly, you look good." ['I can't see any of the boy in her. Not even any bulge in her groin where her boy bits are.']

I blushed, "Thanks Jules, but I need to ask you for your forgiveness." I was really fretting.

She looked puzzled, "What about?"

"Back when I was still a boy, I teased you about being a girl going through your menstrual cycle. Now I know what you go through."

Then she hugged me to her, All's forgiven my sister, now let's get ourselves a tan, girlfriend."

* * *

I found that learning how to walk with the breast forms glued on and gaffe was the hardest. I was not used to the weight upon my chest and I was missing my boy bits, but I was soon used to them.

"Aunt Debbie, I'm bone tired. May I rest for awhile?"

"Well, you have learned proper balance, grace and poise, so you can take a break this weekend. We won't continue till Monday evening."

"Thanks Auntie, but why in blazes did I have to walk around with that damned book on my head?" I must've shrunk an inch thanks to that!!" I giggled.

"One of the basics of charm school, I'm afraid. At least I didn't have you practice in heels like I did!!" she laughed back.

"You didn't!!" I tittered.

"Oh I did."

* * *

Going to charm school as well as high school was the most difficult thing that I had ever done. If it wasn't for the fact that I have a photographic memory, I'd have totally failed. But I had fun anyway. I had to learn all walking with poise and grace very much like a geisha. In fact, one of my teachers was a former geisha. The school had hired her to instill that quality of oriental grace and dignity into our training. Me, I thought that I'd be sent home as a failure in the first week.

But Kameko [the geisha] was patient with me until I got the hang of it. She told me that I'd not make it as a Court Geisha because I was a true wildflower that would die in such a stuffy atmosphere. She was right; I never have been much of one for pomp and circumstance.

When I was graduating, I was getting ready in my room when Grandpa knocked, "Who is it?"

"It's your Grandpa honey."

"Come on in then, I just have to slip on my shoes." I was wearing a pink blouse and floor length silk skirt slit to the waist in the sides.

When Grandpa saw me, he looked as if he was seeing an angel. ['Seeing that boy turned girl going to Charm School is something else. Kelly had to unlearn many of the things that she was taught as she learns the fine arts of being a Lady. But seeing the transformation from girl to woman that she is becoming will give Kelly the strength needed later on. And now that she is graduating, we have a special treat for her that I am sure that she will enjoy.'] "Kelly, you look just like your Momma did when she graduated from high school."

"Thanks Grandpa." Then I hugged him close as he stroked my long hair. Then Aunt Debbie came out of the bathroom connecting our room.

"Kelly, you have won top honors."[Now for your reward.]

"Thanks Auntie, "I giggled." I never thought that being a Lady was so tough."

"Well, now you know, [giggle]."After all this time, I think that you deserve a big night out, want to party?"['She doesn't know it, but Johnny is here ready to surprise her.']

"To tell the truth, I am tired." [Sigh]

Then I heard his voice behind me, "But we have reservations at the country club waiting Kelly. Are you denying me a chance to dance with my girl?"['Thanks Debbie for letting me know.']

"JOHNNY!!" I screamed as I jumped into his arms. Then we shared a kiss.

"I see that you remember me, you look great!" ['She feels so wonderful too. But can I do what they ask of me?']

"Thanks Johnny, you're as excited as I am, aren't you?" ['I can tell by the hardness in his pants.']

"Come on you two, I am hungry, "Mister Woods chuckled. ['Those two are still hot for each other. But they're adults. I wonder what my son has planned?']

I looked around, "Where's Momma? Did she have yet another dinner to host?" ['She still does it, even though I am gone.']

I heard her voice behind me, "Right here Kelly," then I was engulfed in her bear hug, "I wouldn't miss this for the world! It's hard me not being here, but I know that you're in good hands. How could I miss this special time for my daughter" ['Stu, she is so like me at her age.']

* * *

After the graduation ceremony, we got into the stretch limos and headed to the club, I was alone with Johnny, "Kelly, you look like a woman now, so beautiful. My Dream Girl, he sighed. [She is more beautiful than before. Does she still love me?]

"Thanks Johnny, Aunt Debbie got me breast forms & a gaffe so that I now look like a woman."[Will he go for it like I hope?]

"You mean that you are still a guy under all of that?"[Is Kelly pulling my leg again?]

"Yep, I am still me, I giggled. "Come on Johnny, I am here for you. As much of a woman as I can be." ['Maybe tonight, or soon, we will make love.']

"Just how good are they?"[Damn, I want her so bad.]

"As good as a real woman's. Go for it my lover." Then I undid my skirt and pulled down my panty and hose. He lay back as I mounted him. I felt him climax in my gaffe as we sated our passion. After he had climaxed, I used a napkin to clean up. Then we got dressed and went into the club.

"Kelly, are you coming back home to school? Everybody wants to know," smirked Julie. ['I know that they did it from the sheer bliss on their faces.']

"No Julie, everybody knows me at school, I can't go back to being a boy again. I am going to school up here with my Aunt. I hated having to tell you that my sister, but I still need to be here. But I'll be there for you when you need me." ['Lord, next time, not so graphic, please. I doubt that we could take that ordeal again.']

Johnny smiled at me, "So, you are giving up being a boy?" ['I can see no hint of boy about Kelly.']

"Yes Johnny, I was always a girl at heart. You helped me to find the girl that I am. For that I will always be grateful," he blushed, ['Maybe that's why I do it with him.']

Mister Woods hugged me, "Well, at our house, you were always happy as a girl. You're always welcome at our house." ['I have missed her.']

"Thanks Mrs. Woods. Nice to know I have a home with you."['This'll make three homes for me, yet I'd give them all up to feel complete.']

Johnny looked at me with pleading eyes, "I wish that you would come back home."['Can't she live with us or her Momma? If she was home, those goons would not force me to dump her because she has friends at Ronzi's.']

"Johnny, if I did, I would have to be a boy, I can't be a boy again," I wept. ['Can't he understand that I'm protecting him and his family as well as myself?']

He knelt before me, "Then will you be my girl? My Dream Girl?" ['Please say yes.']

"Yes I will. I will always be your girl." ['Forever and always.']

"Come, Kelly. We need to talk." ['Now to give her my news.']

"Coming Momma."

* * *

We went aside and spent the next hour sharing everything. I could tell that Momma was happy for me.

[Ever since, she has been here, the house has been empty. The only time that I've truly been happy has been on my weekend visits here to be with Kelly.] "Kelly, I have moved in with the Woods."

I held her by the shoulders, "Why, Momma?"

She smiled at me, "It's lonely without you there and with the Woods, I'm no longer lonely," she sighed.

I went over my times back home with Momma, "But what about our home and the playhouse?"

She kissed me, "Don't you worry none. Our home is being renovated completely and will be yours one day when you're ready as well as the playhouse."

"Ready? For what?'

"For being Johnny's wife. We know that you two love each other. This is our wedding gift to both of you."

"Thanks, Momma." then I hugged her as I wept tears of joy.

* * *

Momma was now the Building Manager for the Clinic where she worked and oversaw the other secretaries as well as catering the many dinners for the doctors.

After that night, the Woods and Momma left and Aunt Debbie and I went home with Grandma and Grandpa. I was soon enrolled and attending school there for my senior year. Aunt Debbie was able to get me started upon hormones and my body was soon developing as a woman. After two months, I no longer needed the breast forms. I was as large without them. I soon became a Cheerleader and was cheering our team at the games. When we played against Johnny's team, Julie and I always spent half time talking.

"How's Johnny doing?"

"He misses you."[If she knew what Johnny has gone through, because of her, she'd cry.]

"I miss him too. Where is he? I have something to tell him."

Then Johnny came over and hugged me close," Kelly, you look terrific!!"[I don't care what the others say; you are all the woman that I need.]

"Thanks Johnny," I said as I kissed him. "Damn, we still excite each other," I giggled.

"Want to go out after the game?"['She excites me still.']

"Sure."['Wait till I tell him the news.']

That night, after the game, we drove up to a secluded are near the lake and country club. It was serene and peaceful. There was a tiny log cabin there with smoke rising out of the chimney. "Kelly, do you like the place? It's your dad's old cabin."['It's now or never.']

"Yes Johnny, It is lovely."['Yes, Johnny. I know why we are here, and I am ready for you.']

"This is my place now. Daddy bought it last year from your mother, and it's my graduation present. I wanted for you to see it with me."['Am I doing the right thing considering what the others have said to me?']

"But why?"['I can tell that something is bothering him, what is it?']

"I still love you Kelly, even if we don't marry, you will still be my best friend."['There, I came as close as I could without hurting her.']

"Thanks Johnny, but there is something that you should know."['I can tell that he is worried about something, maybe I can help him out.']

"What's that?"['DAMN! She is beautiful!!']

"These are my breasts, they are real."

He looked at my chest with wonder, "They Are?"

"Want to take them for a test drive? I know you do as much as I do." [I don't know why, but I'm the one that initiates our love sessions.]

* * *

Then he gently took my hand and we went into the cabin where we sated our passion for each other until the next morning. Then he dropped a bombshell that totally blew me away.

"Kelly, I have a confession to make."['OH GOD!! I tried, but I can't take it anymore. I know that it will break her heart, but it's better this way.']

"What is it?"['Does he have some disease?']

"As much as I love you, I am torn up inside because I still see you as a boy."['DAMN IT ALL!! I still can't tell her the truth. I am such a coward!!!']

"Even, [sniff] after [sniff], last night?" [Sniff, sniff] ['Johnny you are breaking my heart!!!']

"Kelly, I never meant to hurt you, I love you. This is my problem not yours."['Mine and the others that don't understand.']

He held me has I wept bitter tears. I was in love with him and wanted to be with him, but he still saw me has a boy. WHY? WHY? WHY? "Then why bring me up here and why make love to me? Tell me that at least. I deserve an answer."

"I thought that doing this would change my mind."['But it did not. GOD, Can she ever forgive me?']

"Please take me home."

* * *

We did not speak on the way, not even listening to the radio or C.D. player. I felt betrayed and dirty from what happened. Johnny had used me to satisfy his urges and threw me aside! I wanted to die because I couldn't live with the pain and humiliation of being treated like a whore by my best friend.

As we approached the farm, I formalized my plan to die luckily, nobody was home. I would have plenty of time to end my sorry life. Johnny pulled up to the front door, and I got out and pulled my bag with me and slammed and locked the door.

Johnny got out, "Kelly, I still love you. I wish that things could be different," he sighed. ['What Hell have I wrought??']

I opened the front screen door, and shut it behind me, "Goodbye Johnny. Please don't return," I wept bitterly as I turned my back on him and life. ['Daddy! I am coming to join you in Heaven. My life is over.']

I went through the house saying goodbye to everything and collecting the narcotics from the bathroom. Both of my grandparents use to suffer from severe spinal pain until Aunt Debbie took them to see a chiropractor who worked hr magic and ended their pain. Now, Doctor Ruth Elizabeth White eats Sunday dinner here with her family and my grandparents enjoy every minute of having children under foot.

I finally got to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of Grandpa's home brew. On the 'Dukes of Hazzard', Uncle Jesse may make the finest moonshine in Georgia ; But Grandpa's is smooth and has the kick of a mule that unless it is cut, will send any but the hardiest into the Land Of Nod which is where I wanted to go to PERMANENTLY.

I dropped the pain pills into it, watching them begin to dissolve, and then I wrote my goodbye note because I wanted for everybody to know why I despaired of life.

* * *

To My Family and Friends:

If you are reading this, then I have succeeded in ending my life. I did so because I have no hope. I love you all, but my heart is broken and to live is a pain that I cannot endure. Johnny and I went to my daddy's log cabin that he and Mister Woods had bought from momma. Johnny had it renovated and I must admit that it is a darling cabin, but that is where my heart was broken.

Johnny and I made love in every conceivable fashion over that weekend. I thought that he was going to propose to me, but he dumped me! I know that he is hurting but I can not live after being used by Johnny to sate his lusts. I will NOT be his whore!

So I am ending my life and going to heaven where there is no pain.

Kelly Lee Moore

* * *

Then I downed my ticket to Heaven, rinsed out the glass and carried the note to the living room where I set the channel on Contemporary Christian and sat down. I was well on the way when I heard Aunt Debbie's car pull up. I felt that it was fitting for her to find me, I couldn't move, but I knew that I could speak one final time.

As she entered, she smiled as she saw me, "Hi'ya Kelly, what's new with you?"

"My heart is broken, I have no hope. Good bye Aunt Debbie."

Then she saw the moonshine, empty pill bottles and saw what I had done as well as the note,

"NO KELLY!! NOOOOOOO!!!"

Then I heard no more.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 14-Through The Gate By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:After rescuing Julie and dealing with the trauma of the ordeal, Kelly make a momentous decision that will change the lives of everybody as she embarks upon the path of completion.

---

* * *

We were on our way back to the farm after our gym workout at the spa. I felt tired, yet full of energy as if I had to make a decision and a great weight had been lifted. I now knew that I had a decision to make about myself and only Aunt Debbie could help me. She had gone through a transition that I wanted, so she was my guide on my journey now. Aunt Debbie pulled into a gas station to refuel, and I went to the restroom to tinkle. I saw my girl's groin and how realistic it looked. I touched my new girlhood and it felt great! I actually came to an orgasm as I touched myself down there. I quickly cleaned up and the smell of my discharge was musky and fresh. I redressed and got myself a root beer [my favorite, especially with butter pecan ice cream] and a cream soda for Aunt Debbie.

I approached the counter to pay and saw a perfect Santa at the register, except that he wore a red plaid shirt under his overalls, "Well, who is this delicate flower who graces my establishment today?" he asked merrily with a twinkle in his eyes.

I blushed at the attention, "But Santa, [giggle] surely you know that it's me, [giggle] Kelly," I giggled. ['He must be called Santa a lot, especially near Christmas.']

Then he leaned his head back and laughed, "HO! HO! HO! I am not that merry old Elf. I am Christopher Snow, I own this store." ['I can see that she has a love of life like I do.']

"Well, at least you have a good Christmas name," I smirked. [' Wonder if he has a red truck or sleigh.']

"Yes I do Kelly, that'll be $2.50 for the drinks. Are you paying for the gas, too?" ['Her friend is a beauty too.']

I pointed to Aunt Debbie who was filling the car, "No Sir, my Aunt Debbie is." [Looks as if he liked her from the look on his face.']

"Why not you? Can't you drive?"

"Oh, I can, I have a black Thunderbird, but its home."

He smiled at me, "Guess this is a Girl's Day for you two then."

"Actually, we're returning from helping my best friend with a problem."

Then he noticed a pin on my shoulder, "Is that pin from the Rest Area Chapel?"

"Yes, I got it from Father Downing and Sister Mary last Christmas, why?"

"Well, I am a member of their church."

"That's nice. They've said that they mainly minister to truckers and transients."

"Yep, I used to drive a truck until my son, Paul Junior took over. Now I run Poppa's store since he died."

Aunt Debbie came in and approached the counter, "Sir, do you accept VISA?" she asked as she held out her card. ['I can see by the look on her face that Kelly did it in the restroom. It's time to talk to her about it.']

He accepted it and ran it through the slot, "Yes ma'am. That's $12.95, need anything else?" ['This beauty looks like my daughter except that she is a bit taller.']

"No sir, that's all." Then she turned around to leave. ['Why is he staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth?']

I picked up my purchase and followed Aunt Debbie, "See ya' Santa!" I called back as the door closed behind me. ['I can't help but to get in a parting shot at him. He and Grandpa both could be Santa.']

Before she got in the car, Aunt Debbie looked at me with a smirk, "Well, did you enjoy yourself in the restroom?" ['Poor girl, I know that I've caught her off guard just like Momma did it to me years ago.']

I stood there, totally aghast at what she had just asked, "WHAT? How did you know?" ['Is she psychic too?']

She opened the door and smiled, "It is no secret that a girl likes to check herself out and even masturbate, and it's OK to admit it. In fact, all young women have done it at times." ['She needs to know that it's natural to explore.']

I got in after she had unlocked my door, "Yes I did. I couldn't believe that I could pleasure myself that way, but instead of semen coming out; it was clear and had a musky sweet odor to it. Why?" ['Now that I think about it, kinda like Johnny in a way.']

She started the car, "When we get home, I'll let you read the literature about it." ['She'll me amazed at what she reads and those stories will help too.']

I put in a C.D. by ' Alabama ' and selected 'My Home Is in Alabama ', "OK." ['Somehow, this song feels right.']

She smiled and sang along with me, "Good choice Kelly, but why that song?" ['Does she feel homesick?']

I patted her on the arm, "Because I am going to my new home to learn all about myself and grow."

"And that you shall do, I promise you that."

* * *

During this time, Momma and the Woods were talking about the ordeal and how to help Julie. She was at a counseling session discussing her encounter and her feelings. Johnny was there with her since he has that link to her.

Mister Woods sipped his wine cooler and sat it down, "Well, the twins are in counseling about what just happened. But what should we do to help them? Will they be able to go back to school or do we get them a private tutor now? They never wanted that growing up, but that might change." ['LORD, how do I protect my children from harm? Will they go on or will they be scared to live?']

"Well, there is one good thing. Kelly is the same after the ordeal. And she suffered a nervous breakdown too," sighed Mrs. Woods. ['I will never forget her scream or the absolute dismay in her eyes.']

"Yes, my daughter sacrificed herself to help Julie, and made them pay for their crimes. But Julie and Johnny both are suffering now and I am at a loss on what to do." ['Being Stu's wife hasn't prepared me for this.']

"Constable Sebastian has promised to oversee the installation of security cameras throughout the schools that we are paying for," said Mister Woods as he passed around a folder. ['A bit late, but I will feel better now.']

Glancing at the folder, Mrs. Woods nodded approval, "Have the students privacy been seen about? The A.C.L.U. will have our heads if there are any cameras in the showers or dressing rooms. Those people get their claws into anything that they can and make life miserable for everybody." ['I hope that Chuck's friend Sebastian has taken them into account for our sake.']

"Don't worry Lynn . Sebastian has handled them before when pastor Linden had Debbie attacked. They wailed about his rights being violated by not allowed bail, but Sebastian's friend Judge Henry Block shut them up," Momma sighed as she remembered the Hell that she went through for Aunt Debbie. ['Running the gauntlet of the press and facing down those liberal phonies has helped me to help Kelly.']

Johnny and Julie came in and ran over and hugged their parents, then she sat in her daddy's lap like she was a baby and snuggled up to him, "We're home, Daddy! Do we have to go back?" ['I know that he wants us to go, but it's so yucky.']

Mrs. Woods passed a bottle of soda to both twins, "And just why do you want to stop going Julie, you've only been once." ['Have we been wrong to force them to go?']

"Because Julie and I don't need some group to talk to, we have each other, but Julie did find a boy she likes," informed Johnny as he opened both sodas. ['Julie, I hope that this guy is worth it.']

Mister Woods frowned, "I do not like hearing this. Why should you stop the counseling?'

Julie looked at him with her pleading eyes that he could never deny, "Daddy, Momma, I had a dream, just like Kelly does. And I no longer hurt because of the ordeal." ['Even now, I feel warm inside remembering the dream.']

Mrs. Woods gathered Johnny into her arms, "And what about you?" ['He looks like he is worrying about something. What is it?']

Johnny blushed, "When Julie was healed, so was I. I had a ring side seat to her dream."

Mister Woods cleared his throat, "Then why have you also been seeing Pastor Patrick and Joan?" ['Has Johnny lost his Faith?']

"Daddy, I needed to find a balance in my mind between what I felt from Julie during the ordeal and the fact that I'm a guy," he sighed. ['Can I ever truly love Kelly, now?']

Julie hugged him, "I hate that you were involved the way that you were. It must have been hell for you, Bro," she wept silently.

He wiped her tears away with tee back of his hand, "I'm not."

"Why? You were hurt because of me!"

"Because if not for the link, you would have suffered a lot more. We were able to rescue you less than an hour after the link kicked in." ['Lord, I know that you allowed it, but I do wish that there was another way.']

"OK. Bro. But don't you dare think that you know more about us girls, now. You don't!" she grinned.

"I won't, I promise, after all, there's also Kelly, and she is in a class all by herself."

"Why thank you Johnny. Stu and I did our best," sighed Momma. ['Even now, I feel guilty for not being there for her.']

Johnny blushed, "You are most welcome, Momma Moore."

"Who is this young man Julie?" asked Momma. ['Who could capture her heart after she lost Kelly?']

"Mark White."

Mister Woods stood up quickly, dumping Julie who lands on her feet, "OH NO! NOT ONE OF HIS LOONIES!"

Mrs. Woods placated him, "Chuck, do you trust Julie?"

"You know that I do, Anne. Why?"

"She made a choice that we don't like, will you listen to her before you pass judgment?"

He looked down at the tear stained face of his distraught daughter, and knew that he had broken her heart, "Julie, please forgive me. I love you, and I was speaking out of fear for you." he implored as he knelt before her, crying.

She hugged him and laid her head on his shoulder, "Oh, [sniff, sniff] Daddy! [Sob] I know that you love me, [sniff, sniff] but when you just now hollered, [sigh] I was afraid again, [sob] like I was during the ordeal," she wept.

Johnny stood by her, "Dad, I discovered recently that Julie and I are telepathically linked to each other. I can tell that this Mark was a true gentleman with my sister. If she had a choice on who was her first, it'd be Mark."

"Anne, Love. Please go and prepare us some dinner. I believe that our children are hungry."

She got up, "Should I prepare for Mark, too?"

"Yes, I believe that we just might want to meet Jools friend, he sighed. [For years, I have wondered if Julie would find a boy friend. Looks as if she has.']

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"May I invite ark over for Dinner?"

"Be my guest."

Mark came over for dinner and was a true gentleman, allying the fear that he was like linden. As they got to know Mark, they found a young man whose moral fiber was stronger than the teachings that he learned. Marcus Leonard White was orphaned while a preschooler. His parents chose Avery Linden as the godfather, not knowing about him being a defrocked preacher.
Using his access to ark's accounts, he was able to build his church and private school.

By the time that Mark graduated from high school, his accounts were empty. That is why all of the properties owned by that church are now Mark's and he turned out to have profited, too. Mark has a nice fully furnished house not far from the estate that he donated to the Tri-City United Methodist Church as a home for college students. Now he lives in a studio apartment over an old warehouse.

* * *

We drove in silence for awhile, listening to the music. The 'Alabama C.D. had finished and now we were listening to a C.D. of 'Time Life' love songs. I was thinking about how my life had changed ever since that Halloween party when I became Tinkerbell. Would I have found Kelly girl if I had been Peter, Pan instead of Johnny? Both characters wore tights as a part of the costume, but only Tink wore a panty.

As we were approaching the off ramp to the farm, I got the courage to talk to Aunt Debbie, "Aunt Debbie, can we talk?" ['I wonder if she has been waiting for this.']

She glanced towards me with confusion, then she nodded as if she knew what I wanted, "Yes Kelly. I guess that we do need to talk since; I know what you need to know about becoming a woman. Am I right?" [' I can see her confusion from here. I am glad that I can help her because I know what it's like not having the support of a mentor.']

I sheepishly blushed as I realized that she saw through me, "Yes Ma'am, you're right. I was wondering when you knew that you wanted to be a girl or at least dress as a girl. I wonder if there is a difference." ['Lord! I pray that Aunt Debbie will answer my questions, and if not her, then Granny.']

It took her a few minutes for her to reply as she gathered her thoughts together, "For me, there was no difference since I was attacked and had my bits crushed. After that, I transitioned from Brian into Debbie," she sighed. Even today, I have nightmares of the attack. I don't want for you to suffer as I do." ['Lord, will she suffer such a loss as I have?']

The C.D. ended and I shut off the player, "But what about when you first wanted to be a girl? Was it like me and Tinkerbell?" [' I wonder if like me, she has pictures of herself as a girl from when she was as young, as I was when I was Tinkerbell.']

She looked over at me and smiled, "I was about the same age as you were when you were Tinkerbell, but in my case, your mother Terri was taking ballet and I was helping her. She got me to wear a spare leotard and tights that she had. After I saw myself as a girl and the feel of the hose, I was hooked." [' Funny how we both have similar tales of girlhood.']

"And Grandpa was not liking it at first right? I remember what he said about not being there for you." [' Grandpa has sure changed since then if so. All that I know is that I love him, and he loves me.']

"Yes, he hated me at first for wanting to dress as a girl, but thanks to my brother Stu's acceptance of me as a girl, Grandpa saw that he was losing me and that made him question himself. When he saw me in one of Terri's dresses and hose, he finally saw his daughter, Debbie, and accepted me," she sighed as she remembered that day. ['LORD! If not for my big brother Stu, Grandpa would not have accepted me, Thanks for Stu.']

I turned to her and struggled to find my voice. Finally, after several minutes I found my voice, "You mean to tell me that you and Daddy are related?" [' What else about my family am I to learn about I wonder.']

"Yes, Stu and I were brothers and when our parents died, since Momma and Poppa were our Godparents, they adopted us.'I do miss them, but I was your age when they died from a faulty heater. It's hard to even think that I am really adopted. To me, I am their daughter, by birth, and I am sure that my brother Stu would say that he felt the same as I do." ['Glad that Kelly still has Terri.']

"What? Daddy would say that he feels like he was their daughter by birth? I don't think so Aunt Debbie," I grinned [' Thank you LORD! You have returned my quirky sense of humor to me. Poor Aunt Debbie has not been my victim till now.']

"YOU SCAMP!! You know good and well what I mean," she giggled as she wiped her eyes. [' Now I know what Terri meant.']

"Ah! But that is NOT what you said about my dear daddy Aunt Debbie," I smirked as she did a fish-face at my response. [' It's almost as much fun baiting her as it is Momma. It feels good to laugh again.']

She shook her head and smiled, "Touché' Kelly. [Giggle] Your daddy Stu felt that he was really their son by birth, not adopted. SATISFIED EINSTEIN?" She giggled. [If this is how she's gonna be around Momma and Poppa, they'll be laughing their heads off at her antics.']

I handed her a diet soda which I had opened for her that she took a swig of, and then recapped the bottle, "Yes Aunt Debbie. But tell me please; uh, did you have any boyfriends at all while you were growing up? Or did Grandpa say no to boyfriends?" ['Maybe if Momma had said no to me, I'd still be with her.']

"No, not really. I didn't have a Ronzi's like you did and no boys wanted me to help them with their dates. You see, I wasn't as outgoing as you are Kelly. I was a wallflower, afraid to open up to others. But now, after I met a few boys after graduating, I blossomed into a girl very much like you, minus the prancing, though," she smirked."

"Too bad Auntie, you missed out on a lot of fun times. I know that I had fun when I did," I sighed remembering the past. ['Maybe I can teach her to be more outgoing and lad back. She is beautiful and deserves to be happy.']

By that time, we were back at the farm and as we got out, a big shaggy sheepdog bounded up and knocked me over in his greeting, "OK, Shaggy. I love you too, but you're too big to jump on me, ya' big lummox," I laughed as he showered me with sloppy kisses. ['Lovable mongrel! Wonder where Grandpa got him from?']

"HEEL SHAGGY!!" called out Grandpa as he came up on his faithful old tractor. It was as ancient as he was, but like Grandpa, there was no rust, but there were a few scratches and dents from its years of service. It was on it that I had learned how to drive, just like Momma had.

Aunt Debbie stood over me with a big grin on her face, "Well, Daddy, I see that you're letting the chow hound greet your guests again," Aunt Debbie chortled. ['I'm glad the he went after Kelly instead of me today, but knowing him, I'm gonna be next.']

Then Shaggy bounded after Aunt Debbie who ran away from him and he gave chase as she merrily led him around the yard, giggling all the time as he 'woofed' behind her. This was their game they played whenever he saw her unless she sat down, and then he'd get in her lap for a tummy rub.

Then I heard the front porch screen door close behind Granny, "OK, Debbie. Are you through playing with your bed buddy?" asked a smirking Granny as she stood on the front porch. ['Those two would run and play all day if they could. If not for Shaggy, she wouldn't have met her boyfriend.']

Then Shaggy succeeded in catching her and she went down with a squeal of delight as Shaggy landed his sloppy kisses on her, "Yeah, Momma, Since Shag's here has finally caught me," she laughed with glee. ['No matter how bad I feel Shaggy's sloppy kisses wash away my gloom. Thank you Jesus for my friend.']

Grandpa hugged me after he helped me up, "Well, Kelly. Looks as if Shags has given you his sloppy welcome," he grinned. ['That mutt can sense when a person is bad or not. He's given Debbie many an early warning.']

"Yeah Grandpa, I never got my face so thoroughly washed by a dog before. I'm sure that the Woods would love him to bits."

"Then why pray tell DON'T they have any critters?"

"The only reason there are no cats or dogs is that Julie and Johnny are allergic to their fur, Grandpa."

Then he handed me an ever present hanky that he kept in his overalls and I wiped my face clean of dog slobber, "Well, come on in girl, dinner is ready and a waiting. I am sure that you have quite a story to tell us," he said with warmth. ['I am ready to hear Kelly's story unlike I was when Brian told me about being Debbie.']

He shook his head and grinned as I handed him back his now damp hanky which he then tossed to Granny who caught it and put it in her apron, "Have you talked to Momma or the Woods?" [' Silly me, Momma called Auntie.']

He led me over to Granny, "Yes, Terri called and told us what happened, but we want to hear about it from you. If you want to tell us, that is." [' I know from experience with Debbie that she'll need to talk to us about it for her peace of mind.']

"I am ready to talk about it Grandpa. I hope that y'all have plenty of Kleenex, because it is a tearjerker," I sighed. [' Can I sound any more like a Drama Queen? Or am I being a silly goose now?']

Then he bear hugged me as Granny, Aunt Debbie, and Shaggy came up, "We know, Kelly. And we are here for you." ['She's still so sweet and innocent even after her ordeal! Thank You LORD for helping my grandchild.']

Aunt Debbie attached a leash to Shaggy's collar that she'd gotten out of her car, "I'll take Shaggy out to the barn daddy." ['Why he was regulated to the barn is a shame, Kelly was never allergic before.']

He undid the leash and pocketed it, "Let him stay Debbie, the only reason we put him out there last time was that he was out at the duck pond. NOT because Kelly's allergic to him." ['Poor kids. They love animals, but can't stand their fur. Well, guess that it's up to me to fix it.']

* * *

Grandpa did find an organic relief for them and others. He found a combination of herbs that thoroughly cleansed the fur and worked with the fur to prevent dandruff by using the body's oils to kill it and fleas and tics. Unfortunately, it only worked for Julie and Johnny because of their unique heritage.

* * *

We were spoiled with a scrumptious dinner of pot roast with apple pie ala mode for desert. Aunt Debbie and I offered to help clean up, but we were forced to sit in the living room watching the movie 'Ice Angel' as they cleaned up the kitchen. Then they joined us in the living room and I told them about the ordeal and my wish to be a girl, not to just dress like one.

Granny led me over to Grandpa's lounge chair, "Here you go, Kelly. Sit here and tell us your story from the beginning." ['Even though we know, we want to here her thoughts so we can better help her.']

I couldn't believe it! I was to sit in Grandpa's chair? Only he sat here and smoked his pipe of herbs, "But this is Grandpa's chair, not mine Granny!" ['I don't want to disrespect Grandpa! Why is she doing this?']

Grandpa led me over and sat me in his seat, "Today, you sit here and tell us your tale my grandchild. I know that you're showing me respect, but I WANT you to sit here." ['Poor child thinks I'm an ogre about my chair.']

I hugged him in thanks and gratitude for his gift, "OK, thanks Grandpa for letting me sit in your lounger." Then I spent a few moments getting myself ready while they sat down around me in the sofas.

Aunt Debbie brought out tea for everybody but pointedly handed Grandpa his '#1 GRANDPA' glass that I had given him last Christmas, "But you don't get 'MY' glass Sport," he chuckled. ['She gave me this for my birthday and now it's my favorite glass.']

I smiled at their attempt at humor and started on my story, "It all started when I dressed as Tinkerbell for Halloween, I was gonna be Peter Pan, but Mrs. Woods picked up the wrong costume," I smiled and blushed as I remembered the events that led me into becoming Kelly girl for the first time. ['Daddy, I wonder if you ever did see me as your little girl while you were living.']

Granny sat down her glass and sighed, "So, if not for that, you'd not have discovered Kelly girl." ['I saw her picture from that Halloween party and all that I saw was Kelly girl.']

I saw that they were gonna go back to when Kelly girl was born, "Yeah, Granny. Wearing that dress and tights and sleeping in them that night started me on my journey as Kelly girl." ['If not for that, what other event would have triggered my entry into being Kelly girl?']

Grandpa fidgeted, "And the Woods accepted you as Kelly girl?" ['LORD! Will I ever find peace in my heart for what I did to Debbie years ago?']

I took a sip of my drink, "Uh huh. That was after Daddy died and I'd been having nightmares about it, but wearing Julie's tops and shorts at night stopped that Grandpa." ['Even then, with my long hair, I could pass as a girl.']

Aunt Debbie looked at me with tears in her eyes, "What about this doctor that hurt you?" ['I was brutally attacked, was Kelly's hurt any less traumatic for her?']

Granny wiped Aunt Debbie's tears away, "He actually thought that I wanted to be a girl, so he gave me pills and shots that made me start to go through girl's puberty. Because of him the only thing I am missing are breasts. My boy bits are there, but I can only pee. I can't father children. That's why I turned from Julie to Johnny Aunt Debbie."['Having a girl's body as a boy sure was something. I still have my child's voice and I never have shaved, unlike Aunt Debbie when she was Uncle Brian.']

Granny looked at Aunt Debbie, and then at me, "I am sure that when she found that out she threw a fit." [' I threw a royal hissy fit when I saw what happened to Brian; I lost my son, but gained a daughter.']

"She did Granny, and I don't blame her. But she is still my best friend. In fact, she helped me out a lot when I needed help with Johnny," I sighed as I once again felt Julie's anger and dismay when she pounded my chest back then. ['That is one Hell that I NEVER want to go through again! I hated hurting her, but I had to be truthful about myself.']

Aunt Debbie smiled, "You mean when she helped you at the dinner party?" ['That girl is so sweet. Kelly has a good friend in her.']

I blushed as I gathered my thoughts, "That and the night before because in both cases I had oral sex with Johnny Aunt Debbie." ['Even now, I can remember every moment of the passion. I hope that Aunt Debbie has such wonderful memories.']

"And you instigated both encounters?" [' I know it has to be her because that Johnny doesn't have that much gumption.']

"Yes Grandpa, I know now how foolish I was to do it. I thought that being Kelly boy and playing sports with him would be enough. Being Kelly girl ignited a fire in me that I hope to control." ['If not for that, I'd still be with you Johnny my love.']

"Kelly, after the kidnapping, you lost it when you saw your hands, Why?' [' Did she lose her innocence then, or have YOU renewed it LORD?']

"Because I thought that I had killed them, [sniff, sniff] I have been trained in karate up to black belt level, [sniff, sniff] and I can easily kill with one blow.[sniff, sniff] I was convinced that I had sinned against both GOD,[sniff, sniff] and my Teachings.[sniff, sniff] I felt that I should have died in their place Granny[sniff, sniff," I wept as I held up my hands, recalling the anguish that I felt back then.

Aunt Debbie came over and held me as I cried myself out while Granny and Grandpa hugged us both, "Yet you were better after a nap and Julie was too. Did you see Jesus?" ['LORD! I am thankful for your accepting me as a girl.']

"Yes I did Auntie, [sniff, sniff] He took away my distress, [sniff, sniff] and healed me when I gave up my hatred [sniff, sniff] and forgave them," I finished crying as my bitter tears of grief became tears of JOY. ['Has Aunt Debbie ever felt such LOVE from YOU LORD? If not, I hope that she does.']

Granny cupped my chin gently as she lifted my face up to meet her gaze, "Now that you are here, is there anything that you want to do while you're here with us?" ['Thank you LORD for renewing her innocence.']

I looked up at her, "Yes Granny, I want to become a real woman like Aunt Debbie if I can." ['Well as real as I can be. Wish that I was a girl like Julie.']

Grandpa gently hugged me and led me back to his lounge chair, "If that is your wish, then we will help you to become a woman. I don't understand why, you feel this way. All that I know is that I see a sweet, gentle young woman before me. I almost lost Brian years ago because I neglected him, I will NOT make that mistake with you Kelly." ['LORD! You have given me a chance to redeem myself through Kelly, I will not fail you.']

Granny came over and placed a rose pendant in my hand, "Kelly, let this rose symbolize your journey. For as in the song, you shall bloom from your winter in a spring of new hope. My child, you have a much harder road than my daughter did, but like Debbie, you too will bloom." [' LORD! Help me to nurture Kelly as she grows into a young woman.']

I looked at the pendant, remembering that drive up here with Aunt Debbie, "Granny, did you know that Aunt Debbie played that Bette Middler song when she drove me up here? To tell the truth everybody, I kinda feel like a rose," I sighed as I admitted to everybody how I felt. ['Why does that particular song call out to me? Are you trying to tell me something through it GOD?']

Then Grandpa placed a red rose in my other hand, "Kelly, [sniff, sniff] when my son Brian told me that he felt that he was really a girl inside,[sniff, sniff] I lost it and called him vile names. [Sniff, sniff] It was only after I saw him dressed as Debbie, [sniff, sniff] I knew that I was wrong and accepted my daughter. [Sniff, sniff] My only regret is that I was not there when she needed me when she was attacked. [Sniff, sniff] Now that you are a rose that must go through a winter to bloom in the spring, [sniff, sniff] I vow to be there for you and see you through," he openly wept as he told me his shame. ['I know that Debbie, Lizzie, and Terri have forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself.']

I placed both roses on a saucer, and then I hugged them as I cried tears of joy. I felt safe and secure with them, I knew that I could trust them to be there when I needed them. I thanked GOD for their love. I looked at them, "Thanks. I can never thank you enough for letting me be here." ['No wonder Momma loves roses! She has roses of every color on her skirts, blouses, and undies.']

We hugged and I went to bed because I felt tired. I looked at my two gifts and remembered Bette Middler's song 'The Rose' and how it applied to me. Could I actually be like the rose? Will I bloom in my new spring? Will I marry Johnny?

* * *

At this time, Granny was praying about me: "My grandchild Kelly has chosen her path now. She has been through many heartaches and is still the sweet, gentle innocent soul that she was before. Terri has given us a gift of surpassing beauty in Kelly. Now it is up to us to teach her and help her to grow into the woman she is inside.

"But I sense darkness within her that she has yet to face concerning herself and Johnny. We must be ready for when she faces it because like Debbie, she will despair and lose hope. If she dies, it will break my beloved's heart. Please LORD, protect Kelly from her darkness. And give her the strength to overcome it. In YOUR NAME, AMEN."

* * *

This is what Grandpa was praying in his heart: "My LORD, YOU have given me a second chance in Kelly. After the fiasco of my turning Brian away, her brother Stu showed me my error and when I saw Debbie, I saw my beautiful daughter and accepted her. Then when she was attacked at Halloween, I was not there because the bastards had used their dad to lead me away.

"I know that they're still in prison, but I lost the friendship of their fathers who moved away to get away from the memories. Now with Kelly I will NOT make the same mistake! But I need YOUR help to know what to do. Please give me the Wisdom That I need to help Kelly as she learns and grows into the beautiful woman she is inside. And the ability to see those who would hurt her. In YOUR mighty NAME, AMEN."

* * *

Aunt Debbie was praying this: "LORD, Am I the right one for Kelly to learn from? Is there another better suited to be her mentor? I feel so inadequate for the task, yet here I am, mentoring my niece in how to be a woman. Momma and Terri helped me, but I guess that Terri is out because of Johnny and I DO have momma and poppa to help me.

"LORD, all that I ask is for YOU to help me to help Kelly because I know that there are bumps along the way on her journey to completion. Be there for her as YOU were for me. In YOUR mighty and HOLY NAME, AMEN!"

* * *

Then I prayed before I went to sleep," LORD, am I like love, like a river that drowns the tender reed, or am I the reed? Am I like love, a razor that leaves the soul to bleed, or am I the bleeding soul? Am I like Love, a hunger, an endless, aching need? Because right now, I feel empty inside."

"Or am I like love, a flower only a seed? Am I a promise, a possibility? My heart is afraid of breaking, LORD; will I ever learn to dance? If so, who will I dance with? Am I a dream that's afraid of waking, will I ever take the chance to fly? Or am I one who won't be taken, who can not seem to give? Will I ever be able to share my heart? Will my soul stay afraid of dying and never learn to live?"

"LORD, the night has been too lonely. The road has been too long. No LORD, I do not think that love is only for the lucky and the strong. For in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow is the seed that with the sun's love, that in the spring becomes the ROSE! May I be that Rose LORD? Will I be like Aunt Debbie and bloom in my new spring? LORD, I hope so! AMEN!"

Then I went to bed and slept peacefully for my nightmares were finally gone. My Hope had been renewed and I could see clearly now my path. I knew that my family and friends were with me and GOD Loved me for whom I was.

That night, I dreamed about daddy still being alive and giving me away at my wedding to Johnny. Julie was my Maid of Honor; Constable Sebastian Johnny's Best Man. Aunt Debbie was my Flower Girl. Now I know that little girls are supposed to be Flower Girls, but since she was never a little girl, this was our way of letting her be a girl child for a day.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 14: Despair By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: As Kelly grows into her womanhood, all seems to be going well, but a tragic encounter with Johnny kills her spirit, leaving her in despair.

 

---

I found that learning how to walk with the breast forms glued on and gaffe was the hardest. I was not used to the weight upon my chest and I was missing my boy bits, but I was soon used to them.

 

"Aunt Debbie, I'm bone tired. May I rest for awhile?"

"Well, you have learned proper balance, grace and poise, so you can take a break this weekend. We won't continue till Monday evening."

"Thanks Auntie, but why in blazes did I have to walk around with that damned book on my head?" I must've shrunk an inch thanks to that!!" I giggled.

"One of the basics of charm school, I'm afraid. At least I didn't have you practice in heels like I did!!" she laughed back.

"You didn't!!" I tittered.

"Oh I did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Going to charm school as well as high school was the most difficult thing that I had ever done. If it wasn't for the fact that I have a photographic memory, I'd have totally failed. But I had fun anyway. I had to learn all walking with poise and grace very much like a geisha. In fact, one of my teachers was a former geisha. The school had hired her to instill that quality of oriental grace and dignity into our training. Me, I thought that I'd be sent home as a failure in the first week.

But Komeko [the geisha] was patient with me until I got the hang of it. She told me that I'd not make it as a Court Geisha because I was a true wildflower that would die in such a stuffy atmosphere. She was right, I never have been much of one for pomp and circumstance.

When I was graduating, I was getting ready in my room when Grandpa knocked, "Who is it?"

"It's your Grandpa honey."

"Come on in then, I just have to slip on my shoes." I was wearing a pink blouse and floor length silk skirt slit to the waist in the sides.

When Grandpa saw me, he looked as if he was seeing an angel. [ 'Seeing that boy turned girl going to Charm School is something else. Kelly had to unlearn many of the things that she was taught as she learns the fine arts of being a Lady. But seeing the transformation from girl to woman that she is becoming will give Kelly the strength needed later on. And now that she is graduating, we have a special treat for her that I am sure that she will enjoy.'] "Kelly, you look just like your Momma did when she graduated from high school."

"Thanks Grandpa." Then I hugged him close as he stroked my long hair. Then Aunt Debbie came out of the bathroom connecting our room.

"Kelly, you have won top honors."['Now for your reward.']

"Thanks Auntie, "I giggled. I never thought that being a Lady was so tough."

"Well, now you know, [giggle]."After all this time, I think that you deserve a big night out, want to party?"['She doesn't know it, but Johnny is here ready to surprise her.']

"To tell the truth, I am tired." [sigh]

Then I heard his voice behind me, "But we have reservations at the country club waiting Kelly. Are you denying me a chance to dance with my girl?"['Thanks Debbie for letting me know.']

"JOHNNY!!" I screamed as I jumped into his arms. Then we shared a kiss.

"I see that you remember me, you look great!" ['She feels so wonderful too.']

"Thanks Johnny." I could feel that he was as excited as I was.

"Come on you two, I am hungry, "Mister Woods chuckled.

"Where's my Momma?"

"Right here Kelly," then I was engulfed in her bear hug, "I wouldn't miss this for the world!" ['It's hard me not being here, but I know that you're in good hands.']

After the graduation ceremony, we got into the stretch limos and headed to the club, I was alone with Johnny, "Kelly, you look like a woman now, so beautiful. My Dream Girl, he sighed. ['She is more beautiful than before. Does she still love me?']

"Thanks Johnny, Aunt Debbie got me breast forms & a gaffe so that I now look like a woman."['Will he go for it like I hope?']

"You mean that you are still a guy under all of that?"['Is Kelly pulling my leg again?']

"Yep, I am still me," I giggled. "Come on Johnny, I am here for you. As much of a woman as I can be."

"Just how good are they?"['Damn, I want her so bad.']

"As good as a real woman's. Go for it my lover." Then I undid my skirt and pulled down my panty and hose. He lay back as I mounted him. I felt him climax in my gaffe as we sated our passion. After he had climaxed, I used a napkin to clean up. Then we got dressed and went into the club.

"Kelly, are you coming back home to school? Everybody wants to know."

"No Julie, everybody knows me at school andI can't go back to being a boy again. I am going to school up here with my Aunt. I hated having to tell you that my sister, but I still need to be here."

"So, you are giving up being a boy?"['I can see no hint of boy about Kelly.']

"Yes Johnny, I was always a girl at heart. You helped me to find the girl that I am. For that I will always be grateful." ['Maybe that's why I do it with him.']

"Well, at our house, you were always happy as a girl. You're always welcome at our house." ['I have missed her.']

"Thanks Mrs. Woods. Nice to know I have a home with you."['This'll make three homes for me, yet I'd give them all up to feel complete.']

"I wish that you would come back home."['Can't she live with us or her Momma?']

"Johnny, if I did, I would have to be a boy, I can't be a boy again," I wept.['Can't he understand that I'm protecting him and his family as well as myself?']

"Then will you be my girl? My Dream Girl?" ['Please say yes.']

"Yes I will. I will always be your girl." ['Forever and always.']

"Come Kelly, we need to talk." ['Now to give her my news.']

"Coming Momma."

We went aside and spent the next hour sharing everything. I could tell that Momma was happy for me.

['Ever since, she has been here, the house has been empty. The only time that I've truly been happy has been on my weekend visits here to be with Kelly.'] "Kelly, I have moved in with the Woods."

"Why Momma?"

"It's lonely without you there and with the Woods, I'm no longer lonely."

"But what about our home and the playhouse?"

"Our home is being renovated completely and will be yours one day when you're ready as well as the playhouse."

"Ready? For what?"

"For being Johnny's wife. We know that you two love each other. This is our wedding gift to both of you."

"Thanks Momma." then I hugged her as I wept tears of joy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Momma was now the Building Manager for the Clinic where she worked and oversaw the other secretaries as well as catering the many dinners for the doctors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that night, the Woods and Momma left and Aunt Debbie and I went home with Grandma and Grandpa. I was soon enrolled and attending school there for my senior year. Aunt Debbie was able to get me started upon hormones and my body was soon developing as a woman. After two months, I no longer needed the breast forms. I was as large without them. I soon became a Cheerleader and was cheering our team at the games. When we played against Johnny's team, Julie and I always spent half time talking.

"How's Johnny doing?"

"He misses you."['If she knew what Johnny has gone through, because of her, she'd cry.']

"I miss him too. Where is he? I have something to tell him."

Then Johnny came over and hugged me close, "Kelly, you look terrific!!"['I don't care what the others say. You are all the woman that I need.']

"Thanks Johnny," I said as I kissed him. "Damn, we still excite each other," I giggled.

"Want to go out after the game?"['She excites me still.']

"Sure."['Wait till I tell him the news.']

That night, after the game, we drove up to a secluded are near the lake and country club. It was serene and peaceful. There was a tiny log cabin there with smoke rising out of the chimney. "Kelly, do you like the place? It's your dad's old cabin."['It's now or never.']

"Yes Johnny, It is lovely."['Yes Johnny, I know why we are here, and I am ready for you.']

"This is my place now. Daddy bought it last year from your mother, and it's my graduation present. I wanted you to see it with me."['Am I doing the right thing considering what the others have said to me?']

"But why?"['I can tell that something is bothering him, what is it?']

"I still love you Kelly, even if we don't marry, you will still be my best friend."['There, I came as close as I could without hurting her.']

"Thanks Johnny, but there is something that you should know."['I can tell that he is worried about something, maybe I can help him out.']

"What's that?"['DAMN! She is beautiful!!']

"These are my breasts, they are real." He looked at my chest with wonder. "Want to take them for a test drive? I know you do as much as I do." ['I don't know why, but I'm the one that initiates our love sessions.']

Then he gently took my hand and we went into the cabin where we sated our passion for each other until the next morning. Then he dropped a bombshell that totally blew me away.

"Kelly, I have a confession to make."['OH GOD!! I tried, but I can't take it anymore. I know that it will break her heart, but it's better this way.']

"What is it?"['Does he have some disease?']

"As much as I love you, I am torn up inside because I still see you as a boy."[' DAMN IT ALL!! I still can't tell her the truth. I am such a coward!!!']

"Even, [sniff] after [sniff] ,last night?" [sniff, sniff] ['Johnny you are breaking my heart!!!']

"Kelly, I never meant to hurt you, I love you. This is My problem not yours."['Mine and the others that don't understand.']

He held me has I wept bitter tears. I was in love with him and wanted to be with him, but he still saw me has a boy. WHY? WHY? WHY? "Then why bring me up here and why make love to me? Tell me that at least. I deserve an answer."

"I thought that doing this would change my mind."['But it did not. GOD, Can she ever forgive me?']

"Please take me home."

~~~~~~~~~~
We did not speak on the way ,not even listening to the radio or C.D. player. I felt betrayed and dirty from what happened. Johnny had used me to satisfy his urges and threw me aside! I wanted to die because I couldn't live with the pain and humiliation of being treated like a whore by my best friend.

As we approached the farm, I formalized my plan to die. Luckily, nobody was home. I would have plenty of time to end my sorry life. Johnny pulled up to the front door, and I got out and pulled my bag with me and slammed and locked the door.

Johnny got out, "Kelly, I still love you. I wish that things could be different," he sighed. ['What Hell have I wrought??']

I opened the front screen door, and shut it behind me, "Goodbye Johnny. Please don't return," I wept bitterly as I turned my back on him and life. ['Daddy! I am coming to join you in Heaven. My life is over.']

I went through the house saying goodbye to everything and collecting the narcotics from the bathroom. Both of my grandparents used to suffer from severe spinal pain until Aunt Debbie took them to see a chiropractor who worked her magic and ended their pain. Now Doctor Ruth Elizabeth White eats Sunday dinner here with her family and my grandparents enjoy every minute of having children under foot.

I finally got to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of Grandpa's homebrew. On the 'Dukes Of Hazard', Uncle Jesse may make the finest moonshine in Georgia, But Grandpa's is smooth and has the kick of a mule that unless it is cut, will send any but the most hardy into the Land Of Nod which is where I wanted to go to PERMANENTLY.

I dropped the pain pills into it, watching them begin to dissolve, then I wrote my goodbye note because I wanted for everybody to know why I despaired of life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To My Family And Friends:
If you are reading this, then I have succeeded in ending my life. I did so because I have no hope. I love you all, but my heart is broken and to live is a pain that I cannot endure. Johnny and I went to my daddy's log cabin that he and Mister Woods had bought from momma. Johnny had it renovated and I must admit that it is a darling cabin, but that is where my heart was broken.
Johnny and I made love in every conceivable fashion over that weekend. I thought that he was going to propose to me, but he dumped me! I know that he is hurting But I can not live after being used by Johnny to sate his lusts. I will NOT be his whore!
So I am ending my life and going to heaven where there is no pain.
Kelly Lee Moore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then I downed my ticket to Heaven, rinsed out the glass and carried the note to the living room where I set the channel on Contemporary Christian and sat down. I was well on the way when I heard Aunt Debbie's car pull up. I felt that it was fitting for her to find me, I couldn't move, but I knew that I could speak one final time.

As she entered, she smiled as she saw me, "Hi 'ya Kelly, what's new with you?"

"My heart is broken, I have no hope. Good bye Aunt Debbie."

Then she saw the moonshine, empty pill bottles and saw what I had done as well as the note,

"NO KELLY!! NOOOOOOO!!!"

Then I heard no more.

Kelly's Journey Chapter 17-Beyond Despair By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:After Kelly's suicide attempt, she decides to continue without hope. Yet she soon finds her hope renewed and she starts to forgive.

---

* * *

DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!!! I LOVE YOU!! WHY?! OH WHY DID YOU SUICIDE!!" she exclaimed as she gathered me up to give me the Heimlich maneuver. But I was past caring or able to respond even if I wanted; the death draught had done its work too well. ['What happened to cause her to despair of life?']

She tried for several minutes to revive me, but all she got as a reward for her herculean efforts was my losing the moonshine in a frothy mess of moonshine and bile that soaked into the carpet, ruining its fibers as the bile ate away into the padding which absorbed it before it could touch the hardwood floor. Her tears soaked my back as she cried over my plight, constantly calling me back in vain.

My chest was bruising up from her titanic lifesaving attempt and actually forced my body to breathe and restart my heartbeat from massaging my chest so vigorously. It also had the effect of me loosening my bowels as my innards released their contents. My leotard and tights contained some of it, but the stench over powered the smell of homemade cooking that had soaked into the room. What it didn't contain went onto Aunt Debbie

Then my grandparents came in and saw her abusing my frail form and the mess soaking her pants legs, "DEBBIE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH KELLY?" asked Granny as she dropped her tote bag of exotic chocolates which mixed up with the mints and hard candy kept by the door for Grandpa who enjoyed them in his after breakfast coffee, her one vice. ['Please LORD! Don't let her die!']

Grandpa went to get his shotgun over the mantle where it stayed until he went deer hunting to help cull the overpopulation of deer. He took the results to the local butcher who processed it into varied cuts of meat, sausage, bacon, souse, dog food, and leather. We have enjoyed the results and following Granny's instructions had made up a bunch of gifts of deer meat for my family and friends.

"SHE WENT OFF WITH THAT JOHNNY!! HE HURT HER! I'LL KILL HIM!!" he exclaimed as he wept bitter tears. But he couldn't even open it to load the shells because of his rage. ['I have failed Kelly. I will at least have the satisfaction of retribution when I shoot that Johnny for hurting her.']

Granny firmly took the shotgun out of his trembling hands and replaced it as he stood there, helplessly crying bitter tears of regret , "[sniff, sniff] Joe, [sniff, sniff] we need for you to be strong for Kelly. [sniff, sniff] She still lives,[sniff, sniff] but barely. [Sniff, sniff] Please go get the truck ready while we tend to Kelly." [Sniff, sniff] Granny wept as she admonished Grandpa. ['I have to believe that there's a chance as long as she lives.']

He hugged her in gratitude for something positive to do to help, "Very well, [sigh] getting her to the hospital is more important than killing Johnny for his actions." ['But as soon as I can, I will make that boy pay for hurting my granddaughter.']

* * *

Mark entered the office and waited as Father Downing finished his conversation with a man in a clerical collar. "Father Downing, we NEVER saw this side of him. Where did we go wrong?" he asked. This Clergy was Anton Forrest, a Student Pastor from Samford University . He was the spitting image of a young Charlton Heston, even to the voice.

Father Downing placed a fatherly hand on his shoulder as he guided him to Mark, "Anton, Mark here was also duped even worse than you. He was selected to be his heir."

Anton shook Mark's proffered hand, "Yes, I know. Mark was to inherit his estate while I replaced him as pastor. But it didn't work out, that way, did it now?" he sighed.

Mark smiled, "Hello, Anton. No, his plans went awry when he went after Kelly, but she has paid a terrible price, too."

"What price did she pay?"

Mark turned to Father Downing, "I heard it back at the jail, and Kelly tried to commit suicide."

Father Downing brought his hands up to his mouth," MY GOD! WHY?!"

"Johnny took her up to a log cabin to have some time alone with her, but even though they had sex, he dumped her as that bastard pastor wanted him to."

Anton hung his head in shame, "Mark, I have always liked Kelly, and thought that his attitude was his point of view, not some religious dogma," he sighed.

Mark hugged him, Anton; she survived thanks to her Aunt Debbie and her grandparents. And Johnny is why that bastard is in jail, now, too."

"How do you know this?"

"Simple, Anton. I was there when Augustus took down his statement."

"OK, Mark, explain."

"When Johnny returned from the cabin, he went straight to the coach's office in order to settle the score. It was there that the coach dismissed the four players and sided with Johnny who thoroughly trounced them and their leader."

Anton looked at Mark with compassion, "Did he know about Kelly at the time?"

"No, he doesn't. They're on their way to the hospital right now," sighed Mark.

Father Downing shook his head, "All of this tragedy because of a demented man's hatred. If not for our Constable Sebastian's and his son's vigilance, the horror would continue."

Anton thought for a moment, did they conduct the interrogation in the mobile lockup van?"

"Yes, I still had a key to the church, and went to collect my stuff when I overheard the bastard pastor saying that he'd meet the others at the school to congratulate them on their misdeed and take care of business there."

Anton smiled at them, "For a pastor, he had a lot to learn after his fall. Many of his congregation was former members of the Tri-County United Methodist Church and their children. For all of his oratory, he had very little luck in attracting new members, so he did the only thing that he could. He opened up a business to keep his people ensnared."

Father Downing shook his head in disgust, "What he did was abominable! I could NEVER do what he did!"

Mark sighed, "Yes, by leading his congregation into building a private school where the children were taught the Alabama Education Curriculum as well as his dogma as opposed to that of the Church they loved, he actively corrupted the children, and our Lord detests those who hurt children."

Anton continued, "He followed the guidelines set out by the Methodist Church , but he put his anti- L.B.G.T. Spin in his sermons, subtly brainwashing the youth into becoming his army of bashers that went against the grain of their basic beliefs."

Father Downing got them all a stein of stout beer, "Normally, I do not engage in drinking until my Sunday dinner, but I need it, now!" ['I've NEVER heard of such hatred before Lord. Was he ever one of yours?']

"What is this?"

"THAT, Anton is beer from one of my parishioners. Made at home, why?"

"Father, normally, I don't drink, I can't hold my liquor," he replied, setting the glass down.

Father Downing smiled, "Then is at Peace, my friend. THIS beer has practically no alcohol, just a good head, and taste," he informed, taking a deep draught.

Anton and Mark followed suit and found the brew to be rich with flavor, "How is it made?" asked Anton.

"All that I know is that it is made similar to ginger ale, ginger beer, and sassafras tea. Something to do with filtering and carbonation."

Mark chuckled, "So, this is pretty much a soda, eh?"

"Pretty much. I never acquired the taste for spirits, except for wine or champagne which I save for holidays."

Mark looked out into the parking lot, "Are you normally so busy at this time of the week?"

Anton sighed, "No, Mark. I am the reason."

"Why is that?"

"Those people in the auditorium are from my church."

"Your church?"

"Yes, mine. After all, he is now in jail."

"Then why bring them here?"

"Mark, you and I BOTH have broken from his control, but our brethren haven't. They still see him as a leader, and are looking for us. We must tell them the truth."

"You're unfortunately right. Until then, he can reclaim them. But we need help."

"Mark that is why they are here. Together, you and Anton can free them. Most are simply in shock, and need to be given a chance to be free."

"OK, Father. You go and get them ready, and then Anton and I can talk to them."

"Not quite yet, there," Downing smiled.

"What do you mean?" we asked.

"My wife, Sister Mary is currently speaking to them and breaking that male dominance dogma that they're under."

Anton shook his head," I guess that she has a gift of oratory, then. Because they believe in the women being second to the man. There are no single mothers living away from their family, not even single dads."

"Father Downing smiled, oh, she does. She can charm most anybody. In fact, she has helped to free others from his influence."

"Anton looked at him, "The Jessops Family?"

"Yes."

Then Sister Mary came into the office, "Excuse me. But they're ready for you now, Anton."

Anton stepped into the packed sanctuary, "Well, now to help them."

* * *

I saw a light up ahead and knew that I was entering Heaven, but I still felt dirty and used, I felt Johnny's seed inside of me and the pain of his penetrating me so thoroughly, "I'm coming to be with you daddy. I can not live anymore! Not after tonight, I am sorry that I have failed you and everybody, but after today, my life is not worth living."

Then I was in Heaven and Daddy swept me into his arms. All the times before, he had smiled, THIS time, he was crying. CRYING FOR ME! "OH Kelly my daughter, why did you have to end your life? It is nowhere near your time," his tears washed away my distress and anguish so that I could see and feel his wonderful love. I felt no judgment for what happened from him, only love.

"Daddy, oh how I wish that you could understand what I went through, but as a man, you can never understand what I went through with Johnny. Only a woman can. Only a woman betrayed after giving herself bodily to her man can."

Then I felt a PRESENCE behind me and daddy passed me over to the PRESENCE who easily gathered me into his arms and sat upon a convenient boulder, "I understand my child, as no one else can. I have felt the bitter sting of betrayal many times from my followers."

"JESUS! But YOU are not a girl like I am, are You? No forget that, I am not even a real girl," I asked as He sat me on His lap.

He smiled at my question. I could feel His good humor as He thought about the audacity of my question. Because I then remembered that there was no gender in Heaven, "True, I am not a girl like you or any other woman, but I do know what betrayal by a friend feels like. Remember Peter?"

"Yes, he denied you thrice, and you even told him that he would that night, yet you forgave him after you returned."

"Kelly, I do know your betrayal for your spirit called out to me in your distress. I felt your pain and despair, as well as your love for Johnny. Now I have a very hard question to ask you, don't worry you about disappointing me. Can you forgive Johnny for what he did even if he never returns to you?"

* * *

Then I saw my heart's light dimmed, yet glowing strong. The dimness was my hurt, concentrating on that hurt; I saw that it was my love for Johnny. It had been corrupted by my selfish need to have him regardless of the cost. Then I knew why I was here, to free both of us from the tyranny of selfish love, "Yes, even though he broke my heart, I want only the best for him. I still love him and he is still my friend, even if I don't feel the friendship anymore," I sighed as I gave voice to my feelings.

I saw tears start to flow down His cheeks, "Kelly, THAT is how I want ALL of MY Children to feel. For you have just now giving testimony to True Agape Love! And no Power can stand against it!"

Then I gave utterance to my new perspective, "Johnny, I love you and always will, but I can not and will not keep you against your will. If you return to me, we can then choose, but if you find another, I will still be your friend."

* * *

Then I saw my heart bleed black tears as the darkness was destroyed and the purifying Agape Love replaced it until it bled red and the scars healed. Then my heart glowed golden and I knew that it was healed of its hurt for I felt no pain.

"Yes Kelly, by choosing as you did, you chose life over death and in doing so, you have overcome yet again."

Then I felt a change as I thought about how I had arrived, "Jesus, I have a question about my arrival. Am I forgiven for wanting to die? I did break a Rule when I killed myself. Some believe that suicide is unpardonable."

"Yes, you are forgiven, for your body still lives, even if you had succeeded, you would be forgiven. Currently, you are in a coma, you can choose to go back, or to stay here, in which case, your body may die."

"But Jesus!! It hurts so much! I don't want to live! THAT is why I chose to die!" I wailed as the pain returned a thousand fold.

Jesus hugged me as I soaked His robe, "I know Kelly, but right now, your family and friends are grieving, and your death will destroy their happiness. Do you want for them to suffer because of you?"

* * *

Then I saw how each one had been hurt by me, and I knew that it was in my power to end their suffering, and I was appalled to see how my death had ruined so many lives. I wept bitter tears as I saw the destruction that I could wreak by staying.

* * *

Johnny would NEVER become the national athlete he was destined to be; no, he became a drunkard and addict. To pay for his habit, he became an enforcer for a local drug dealer who had taken over the Woods Enterprise from Julie Woods after she sold both the business and estate. Johnny ended his life in a final act of heroism when he saved a child from being hit by a speeding truck. His last words were, "Kelly am I forgiven?"

* * *

Mister Woods tried to carry on, but he had lost the zest needed to truly run his company, so Mrs. Woods took over until she was killed by a robber who shot her as she opened the safe. Her last words were, "Go ahead and shoot me, then I'll go to Heaven, and leave this hell on Earth!" She had to have a closed casket service because the shot destroyed her face.

* * *

Mister Woods found the robber and killed him with his bare hands, Constable Sebastian found him standing over the body, blank faced. Mister Woods died in a psychiatric ward, never regaining lucidity until the end when he said, " Lynn , I am coming home to be with you in Heaven. I killed your murderer and I paid the price."

* * *

That left Julie to run the business, which she was not equipped to run, so she listened to Johnny and they sold everything to his drug dealer friend. She then became a missionary and lost her life when the missionary school was taken by rebels. Her last words were, "I now go to Heaven where I will meet my best friend Kelly. I am ready to die."

* * *

Momma went to live with Granny and Grandpa, but on the way, she went off the road into the lake, drowning in freezing winter water. She was listening to me singing "Daddy's Hands" from years ago.

* * *

Grandpa lost the use of his body when he went after Johnny with his shotgun. He missed, but a thug that was with Johnny broke Grandpa's neck, paralyzing him from the neck down. He lived only a few days after that when a blood clot hit his brain. He had a letter written before the accident that Granny read at his funeral.

Lizzie Jane:

I love you with my whole heart and am blessed to have raised two wonderful daughters and our adopted son. But after Kelly died, I lost my zest for life and went after Johnny for hurting her. I did not kill him, but was paralyzed instead. Now I go to heaven where Kelly is. May I be forgiven for my failure in protecting her?
Joe

Granny died after reading the letter saying, "No Beloved, you did not fail Kelly!" as her heart failed her.

* * *

Of them all, only Aunt Debbie lived on, but she became a bitter recluse who only saw Pastor Patrick who took her in as his housekeeper so she could retire and forget. She kept pictures of me in her room and before she died, she found a girl that looked like me and adopted her. Amazingly her name was Kelly Li, She was the daughter Chinese woman and American father. She inherited the Moore and Woods estates.

* * *

I looked over and saw Daddy weeping and went over and got in his lap where he hugged me as we both cried. Here I had actually brought grief to daddy in Heaven. How could I be so cruel? Then I felt in my heart the answer. Michael and Gabriel reverted to their angel forms, silent tears on their countenance as they looked at me, waiting for my answer.

I went over to Jesus, "I will return, even if I must live without hope. Because I can not let my friends and family suffer. This is my burden, NOT theirs to carry," I sighed in resignation. ['Will my hope be renewed, or must I live without any hope now.']

As Heaven receded, I heard JESUS saying, "My child, I heard your silent cry. Your act of Love shall be rewarded in time, your hope will be renewed," He exclaimed.

* * *

Mark entered the Rest Stop Chapel, auditorium and waited as Anton finished addressing the congregation from the bastard preacher's church. It was now his turn. Together, they were the leaders left after the jailing of the demented pastor.

Anton had gathered the congregation and brought them here to get the help of Father Dowling. He had a reputation among the truckers in the congregation as a very wise and understanding man. Even when under his influence, the congregation sensed the Truth and sought it out. Only their loyalty kept them under him and the contracts signed to keep the church afloat.

"People, you now have a choice. To continue to listen to the pastor's dogma and listen to his hatred, or turn away and repent of your earlier actions. What shall you do?"

From the audience came a voice, "What about this girl. Kelly? Is she an abomination as he says?"

"No, she is not. I have met her. She is a sweet, young woman who was wronged by him, many times."

"Was she not born as a male?"

"Yes, she was. But does not the Lord accept and love all? Or just a select few?"

"But she is distorting her body!"

"No, she is conforming her body to her true gender. If we enacted the rule about distorting the body, then we could never shave, cut our hair, nor pierce our ears."

The debate went on, but in the end, they decided to make the Road Side Chapel their new church home, little knowing the future and the reconciliation to come.

* * *

I woke up with a tube down my throat and an I.V. dripping into my arm. Aunt Debbie and my grandparents were there along with the Woods and momma, only Johnny was absent, "No, why did you save me? I have no hope!" ['Where is my hope that I was promised? How long must I wait?']

Momma held my hand, "We've read your letter. We LOVE you my precious daughter. Please don't go away. Please live! I don't know what I'd do without you in my life!" ['I gave her up so that she could grow into becoming herself, will she stay or go back?']

Julie took my other hand and washed it with her tears, " [sniff, sniff] you are my best [sniff, sniff] best friend, [sniff, sniff] and Soul Sister. Sniff, sniff] I need you to help me with my life because you are so wise. [Sniff, sniff] Will you stay?" ['How many girls have such a close tie as I do with her?']

Grandpa replaced Momma, "Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I love you girl! You have brought a breath of fresh air into my life with your presence. [Sniff, sniff] Now with you, [sniff, sniff] I have a chance to be a father once again. [Sniff, sniff] Stay and be my third daughter please, he sighed." ['I don't care if I catch Johnny as long as she lives, he can go on living. I know that she'd prefer that.']

Granny replaced Julie, "Kelly, [sigh] when you came to live with us, [sniff, sniff] your innocence and spirit renewed my heart. [Sigh] I began to see things with a new vigor as the lethargy of growing stale was replaced with a fresh spirit of vitality. [Sniff, sniff] Please don't go away, [sigh] I need you to help me be young again. But if you do, don't die, but find a new place instead." ['Like Debbie, she now must choose.']

Then Aunt Debbie stroked my hair, "Kelly, you are the Rose. You are now going through your winter. Love has cut you, and now your heart is bleeding. Let your soul be renewed and blossom into a spring of new hope. I know the pain. I too am a Rose." ['Lord, you are the sweetest Rose Of Sharon, but Kelly needs you to heal her.']

Then I saw bouquets of roses of all colors surrounding the bed, directly at the foot of my bed was a portrait of me wearing a rose dress, sitting on a rock by a rose bush. The portrait was framed by roses, the caption under the frame read: "KELLY LEE MORE-THE LIVING ROSE" Then I smiled, "OK." and held up both thumbs until they saw them, then I went back to sleep.

* * *

In the Chapel, Pastor Patrick consoled everybody. He led them into the meeting room behind the pulpit where he and other Men and Women of The Cloth would meet with the patient's family. "Well, I never thought that I'd be consoling you on this, [sigh] I always thought that Kelly was stronger than this," he sighed. [Oh Kelly my child!! Whatever happened to cause you to despair of life?']

Momma passed him my letter, "This is something that only women can truly understand. I am sorry Pastor Patrick, but both you and Charlie can never know what its like to be a woman and give yourself to your beloved or have that love betrayed by the man you love," ['I know how you feel Kelly, and the joy of that love being renewed.']

He read the letter and exclaimed, "MY GOD! NO WONDER SHE DESPAIRED! WHERE IN THE HELL IS JOHNNY!?" ['My Lord. Why did he hurt her? Why did it happen? Is it MY fault for not teaching them better?']

Julie began to cry, "[sniff, sniff] unfortunately, [sniff, sniff] he is at a football camp. [Sniff, sniff] He left as soon as he got his duffel bag. [Sniff, sniff] If I'd seen his face instead of watching him drive off, [sniff, sniff] I could have stopped him, [sniff, sniff] she fumed. [Johnny, you HURT MY SISTER! WHY JOHNNY!! WHY?!']

Mrs. Woods held her trembling hand until her anger passed, "No Julie, [sigh] by that time, Kelly had attempted suicide. Debbie called here by the time that Johnny pulled out and we returned from the movies. Julie, even if you had stopped him, Kelly would still be here suffering. Let's hope that he is taking care of why he hurt her," she replied. [Chuck and I feel terrible for not stopping this.']

Momma held her other hand, "I too blame myself for this tragedy. As her mother, it is MY responsibility, but how could I have known what Johnny would do?" even today, I still love him." ['Both are hurting, but only Kelly has despaired of life. will he make a stand or let others destroy him with their hatred? ']

Mister Woods stood up and faced everybody, his face a mask of anguish and pain. Tears flowed freely as he clenched his fists in helpless fury, "THIS IS ALL DUE THAT BASTARD PREACHER AND HIS GOSPEL OF HATE. I THOUGHT THAT HE HAD BEEN STOPPED, BUT HE CONTINUES TO SPREAD HIS FILTH. I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO HIS DEFEAT. [SIGH] UNTIL HE IS CAUGHT AND TRIED FOR HIS CRIMES I CAN NOT LIVE," he said with earnest conviction. ['Kelly, you are here because I failed in protecting you from harm. NOW my life is forfeit.']

Mrs. Woods went, stood by him, clasping his fists in her soft, yet firmly strong hands, "Yes Charles, neither can I know peace. I will use all of our resources to find him, even if we go bankrupt. We owe it to our Godchild. HE WILL RUE THE DAY THAT HE HURT US OR KELLY." she said with a voice as cold as winter. ['He will find that a woman's scorn is truly like no other HELL.']

Julie hugged Momma, "Momma Moore, Kelly fought for me and paid the price. She suffered for me and it cost her innocence and almost became bitter with hatred. Now she is paying again for defying that bastard! Will she become bitter now? If you need me for anything, let me know, OK?" ['I can at least comfort her momma.']

Momma hugged her back and cried tears of release, "OK Julie." ['She has reminded me of Kelly's gift of love.']

* * *

Then Constable Sebastian entered with Johnny, who was wearing his football uniform, but it was in tatters and there was blood on his hands, he led Johnny over to his astonished sister where he sat down and sheepishly smiled at her.

"I don't think that you'll need to worry about him anymore thanks to Johnny here. Especially after what this young bull did, "he grinned with wry amusement. ['I knew that he'd be stopped when he went too far.']

Mister Woods looked at his son and smiled when he saw the way that he held himself like a soldier back from a battle, "Son, have you done something to break the law?" he asked with a smug grin. ['Sebastian wouldn't be so smug if he thought that my son was in trouble. Now what DID he do?']

Johnny visibly stood taller as he saw his father's approval, "Dad that bastard preacher and his ilk are not going to bother us anymore. My only regret is NOT doing it earlier," he sighed as he admitted his greatest mistake. ['For you Kelly, even though I destroyed our love, I did it for you. I hope that I may earn your forgiveness one day.']

Julie led him over to her seat and when he sat down, climbed into his lap, briefly showing her pink roses panty before she adjusted her skirt, OK bro, did you trounce them like Kelly did when they took me?" ['I've NEVER seen him so tense! I have to get this tension out of him or he will have nightmares.']

He smiled at her and patted her nylon clad knee, appreciating again her love of sheer to waist hose, he secretly enjoyed helping her with her cheer routines because in helping her, her fantasized that she was me, "Yes, I thoroughly trounced him AND his followers here at the school when they were partying over what they got me to do to Kelly," he stated as he hung his head in shame. ['But it was too late! I hurt my best friend and lover after our time of passion. I must make amends somehow.']

Mrs. Woods lifted his head by cupping his chin. Well my son, we know that you trounced them, but not why. And just WHY did you trounce them? Did they deserve it?" ['He needs to know that we support what he did.']

He looked at her with hope renewed in his eyes as he saw her love shining through her anguish to embrace his tortured soul, "Oh YES mom! I am sorry that Kelly's attacking them didn't do the job the first time! No, I do not blame her! THEY DESERVE MORE THAN I DID TO THEM!!" he exclaimed. ['Sorry Kelly for letting you down.']

Momma cleared her throat, "OK Johnny, tell us what happened! We need to know why you hurt my daughter and I need to know if I can still call you son," ['I must be firm with him, he hurt my daughter.']

* * *

"I stalked silently up to the door, ready to resign from the Athletic Program. I knew that dad had a college fund set aside for me, playing was for fun, especially when Kelly was on the team. But they had made it a burden, I had continued at the Coach's request after Kelly left, now I couldn't do it anymore. Then I heard their voices and HE was sitting with his back to me with his followers, two on each side.

"Oh come now coach, relax. Face it, these boys did you a favor by having that fag lover Johnny drop that abomination Kelly after it had the good grace to leave so as not to corrupt anymore," he laughed evilly.

I heard a chair being pushed back, "Johnny AND Kelly were the best athletes the school ever had! Your four wimps have not proven to be anything special. They're on the team only because they've yet to quit. Now that you have revealed yourself, I'm dropping them!" He said with conviction.

"Oh no you won't, they are staying on the team and you are dropping Johnny, and I will tell you why. L will simply have you fired for abuse of your power as a coach. Then you will find that no one will hire you. Can you afford that for your family, especially THAT daughter of yours?"

The coach chuckled with confidence, "Sorry Linden, but that will NEVER work. Because I am simply enacting the school policy on bullying that was voted in a year ago. They bullied Johnny into hurting Kelly. And as for my family, touch them and I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!"

His goons shuffled their feet nervously as they contemplated their fate and loss of scholarship, "Oh? Then prove it or drop this bluff. And I won't need to go after your daughter, if you do as I say that is."

Then I turned him around and punched him in the mouth just as he was about to protest, "BASTARD! I HEARD IT ALL!! YOU HURT MY SISTER! I HURT KELLY MY BELOVED BECAUSE OF YOU!! NOW I WILL HURT YOU!! AND NOTHING THAT YOU ARE THEY WILL STOP ME FROM CARRYING OUT MY VENGEANCE!"

Then I heard the coach shout," JOHNNY!! DEFEND YOURSELF SON!" as two of the students turned to attack him.

Then I saw red. I forgot all thoughts of fair play that I had been taught as I broke their bones, and twisted their bodies with special thrusts into pressure points as I gloried in my attack,[sniff, sniff] I became a monster! [Sniff, sniff] It was only when they had stopped moving and lay still moaning in pain did I regain control," he wept tears of grief. ['I am no better than they are. I deserve prison.']

* * *

Mister Woods clasped his sons shoulder to show his support and love, "Oh Jonathan, my son, you've done what I wanted to do to them, but I might not have stopped," he sighed. ['Why must that bastard continue to hurt my family? Is his evil finally truly over? Or will her return to inflict his evil upon us again? Please Lord, let it be over before one of us dies in this senseless war that he has declared.']

Johnny hung his head in shame of his dad's love that he felt unworthy of receiving, "But dad! [Sniff, sniff] I broke the law! [Sniff, sniff] Worst of all, I gloried in my power! I set myself up as a god of vengeance and reveled in their distress. I am a monster, he wept as he admitted the truth. ['Can I be redeemed?']

Then Julie hauled back and landed a slap on Johnny's cheek that rocked him back. When he looked at her, he saw a fire dangerous to kindle in her eyes. She was crying silent tears that ran unashamedly down her cheeks.

[Sniff, sniff] "DON"T YOU DARE BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT JOHNNY BRO! [Sniff, sniff] THEY HURT YOU! [Sniff, sniff] THEY HURT KELLY! [Sniff, sniff] THEY 'RAPED' ME! [Sniff, sniff] Oh my brother, [sigh] you were there for my ordeal, [sniff, and sniff] I am here for yours, sniffs, and sniffs]," she cried as she soothed his bruised cheek. ['They've BOTH been cruelly hurt in attacking that fiend. May his evil now be ended.']

Then he turned to Pastor Patrick in hopes of redemption, [sniff, sniff] "Sir, [sniff, sniff] has GOD forgiven me? Right now, [sniff, sniff] after hurting my beloved Kelly, [sniff, sniff] and my attack on the fiends, [sniff, sniff] I do not know where I am with Jesus,"[sigh]" he asked with tears flooding his eyes. ['I am so tired, I need to rest.']

Momma and Mrs. Woods hugged Johnny as Pastor Patrick replied with firm conviction, "Yes son, HE wants for you to forgive yourself," he said with tears in his eyes. ['Even now, he like Kelly is so childlike about so many things.']

Then Johnny wept freely as he let go of his anguish and his heart was healed of its turmoil. When he looked up, he saw that Julie's top was thoroughly soaked, her bra clearly showing through, "Sorry Sis, for soaking your top. Good thing that we always carry spares in the trunk, I guess we both need to change clothes, huh?" [MAN! she is so beautiful! Some guy will be very lucky when she accepts his proposal!']

She smiled and gently caressed his bruised face, "OK bro, let's get changed. I didn't mean to slap you that hard, but I had to get your attention you stubborn mule." ['Only Kelly or I could ever get away with slapping him.']

Mrs. Woods passed a denim tote bag to Johnny, "There's a change in there for both of you, and what you need to wash up too," she grinned. ['If we hadn't started keeping spares for them, our children would be wearing dirty clothes after their games.']

Johnny carried Julie to the restroom and covered her with the tote bag to preserve her modesty. She came out of the women's in her red flannel shirt and matching panty and socks, red hose and shorts, then headed towards her parents while Johnny came out of the men's wearing his gray sweats and loafers.

* * *

I woke up and saw Johnny holding my hand, "Morning Kelly. [Sigh] I'm glad that you're alright. I never meant for this to happen." ['I could get use to waking up with her, but I burned that bridge and only she can restore it.']

I smiled in spite of our break up, "Yes Johnny, I'm alright. Although, truth to tell, I am surprised that you'd want to see me after the break up. I thought that we were through. ['Is he now regretting breaking up with me?']

He blushed, "I deserve that from you and so much more. As for our friendship, I can only hope that after they brought you in because of your nervous breakdown, that you can forgive me one day."

Then I sang 'Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.'

Johnny wept as he looked away, "I know Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I know! I TOO am hurt! PLEASE don't make it any harder on me!" ['LORD, how long must I suffer? Have I lost her as my best friend in what I did?']

I smiled and laid my hand on his, "I know that Johnny, I know that you still love me as I love you, but right now my heart is cold as stone and dead. I don't know if I will ever be able to love, ever again. Please understand," I sighed in resignation of the new reality. ['Oh how I WANT to love, but I can't.']

He ever so gently caressed my face, "Yes, I understand, I have taken care of my problem, the one that caused this to happen. I know that it is too late for us after my betrayal. But I hope that we can still be friends. If not, I will understand." ['She is still my Dream Girl, but I will give up that dream for her sake.']

I took his hand in both of mine and kissed it, sorrowing over the bandages on it, "Johnny, I am truly sorry that I have to say this, [sigh] even though I have forgiven you, our friendship is now no more. For I have no hope, and until hope is restored, my heart is dead, without hope, I can not feel," I sighed. ['Lord, I hate having to hurt him, but how can I pretend a friendship that I can not feel?']

He gently held my hands in his rough, meaty hands, "I know that you don't want to hurt me Kelly, But even though you say that you have no hope, is there a chance that you will hope again?" ['I can not let go of even the slimmest of hope. I have to believe that she will hope again! It would break me to know that she will never know hope.']

I gently placed my hand on the cheek that Julie had slapped, "Well Johnny, I guess that you had best hope that things get better. And there is a chance too. Because even though, right now, I don't know, if I will hope again, GOD told me not to give up hope," I smirked at my humor. ['I can't stay mad at him. It just isn't in my heart.']

Then he chuckled as he understood my wordplay, "Well, one thing is sure and certain, your sense of humor is still there. As long as you can joke and prank, your heart, even though silent, still remembers the good times and awaits their return." 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 17: Beyond Despair By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:   After Kelly's suicide attempt, she decides to continue without hope. Yet she soon finds her hope renewed and she forgives.

 

---

 

 

DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!!! I LOVE YOU!! WHY?! OH WHY DID YOU SUICIDE!!" she exclaimed as she gathered me up to give me the Heimlich maneuver. But I was past caring or able to respond even if I wanted; the death draught had done its work too well. ['What happened to cause her to despair of life?']

She tried for several minutes to revive me, but all she got as a reward for her herculean efforts was my losing the moonshine in a frothy mess of moonshine and bile that soaked into the carpet, ruining its fibers as the bile ate away into the padding which absorbed it before it could touch the hardwood floor. Her tears soaked my back as she cried over my plight, constantly calling me back in vain.

My chest was bruising up from her titanic lifesaving attempt and actually forced my body to breathe and restart my heartbeat from massaging my chest so vigorously. It also had the effect of me loosening my bowels as my innards released their contents. My leotard and tights contained some of it, but the stench over powered the smell of homemade cooking that had soaked into the room. What it didn't contain went onto Aunt Debbie

Then my grandparents came in and saw her abusing my frail form and the mess soaking her pants legs, "DEBBIE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH KELLY?" asked Granny as she dropped her tote bag of exotic chocolates which mixed up with the mints and hard candy kept by the door for Grandpa who enjoyed them in his after breakfast coffee, her one vice. ['Please LORD! Don't let her die!']

Grandpa went to get his shotgun over the mantle where it stayed until he went deer hunting to help cull the overpopulation of deer. He took the results to the local butcher who processed it into varied cuts of meat, sausage, bacon, souse, dog food, and leather. We have enjoyed the results and following Granny's instructions had made up a bunch of gifts of deer meat for my family and friends.

"SHE WENT OFF WITH THAT JOHNNY!! HE HURT HER! I'LL KILL HIM!!" he exclaimed as he wept bitter tears. But he couldn't even open it to load the shells because of his rage. ['I have failed Kelly. I will at least have the satisfaction of retribution when I shoot that Johnny for hurting her.']

Granny firmly took the shotgun out of his trembling hands and replaced it as he stood there, helplessly crying bitter tears of regret , "[sniff, sniff] Joe, [sniff, sniff] we need for you to be strong for Kelly. [sniff, sniff] She still lives,[sniff, sniff] but barely. [sniff, sniff] Please go get the truck ready while we tend to Kelly." [sniff, sniff] Granny wept as she admonished Grandpa. ['I have to believe that there's a chance as long as she lives.']

He hugged her in gratitude for something positive to do to help, "Very well, [sigh] getting her to the hospital is more important than killing Johnny for his actions." ['But as soon as I can, I will make that boy pay for hurting my granddaughter.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw a light up ahead and knew that I was entering Heaven, but I still felt dirty and used, I felt Johnny's seed inside of me and the pain of his penetrating me so thoroughly, "I'm coming to be with you daddy. I can not live anymore! Not after tonight, I am sorry that I have failed you and everybody, but after today, my life is not worth living."

Then I was in Heaven and daddy swept me into his arms. All the times before, he had smiled, THIS time, he was crying. CRYING FOR ME! "OH Kelly my daughter, why did you have to end your life? It is nowhere near your time," his tears washed away my distress and anguish so that I could see and feel his wonderful love. I felt no judgment for what happened from him, only love.

"Daddy, oh how I wish that you could understand what I went through, but as a man, you can never understand what I went through with Johnny. Only a woman can. Only a woman betrayed after giving herself bodily to her man can."

Then I felt a PRESENCE behind me and daddy passed me over to the PRESENCE who easily gathered me into his arms and sat upon a convenient boulder, "I understand my child, as no one else can. I have felt the bitter sting of betrayal many times from my followers."

"JESUS! But YOU are not a girl like I am, are You? No forget that, I am not even a real girl," I asked as He sat me on His lap.

He smiled at my question. I could feel His good humor as He thought about the audacity of my question. Because I then remembered that there was no gender in Heaven, "True, I am not a girl like you or any other woman, but I do know what betrayal by a friend feels like. Remember Peter?"

"Yes, he denied You thrice, and You even told him that he would that night, yet You forgave him after You returned."

"Kelly, I do know your betrayal for your spirit called out to me in your distress. I felt your pain and despair, as well as your love for Johnny. Now I have a very hard question to ask you, don't worry you about disappointing Me. Can you forgive Johnny for what he did even if he never returns to you?"

Then I saw my heart's light dimmed, yet glowing strong. The dimness was my hurt, concentrating on that hurt, I saw that it was my love for Johnny. It had been corrupted by my selfish need to have him regardless of the cost. Then I knew why I was here, to free both of us from the tyranny of selfish love, "Yes, even though he broke my heart, I want only the best for him. I still love him and he is still my friend, even if I don't feel the friendship anymore," I sighed as I gave voice to my feelings.

I saw tears start to flow down His cheeks, "Kelly, THAT is how I want ALL of MY Children to feel. For you have just now giving testimony to True Agape Love! And no Power can stand against it!"

Then I gave utterance to my new perspective, "Johnny, I love you and always will, but I can not and will not keep you against your will. If you return to me, we can then choose, but if you find another, I will still be your friend." Then I saw my heart bleed black tears as the darkness was destroyed and the purifying Agape Love replaced it until it bled red and the scars healed. Then my heart glowed golden and I knew that it was healed of its hurt for I felt no pain.

"Yes Kelly, by choosing as you did, you chose life over death and in doing so, you have overcome yet again."

Then I felt a change as I thought about how I had arrived, "Jesus, I have a question about my arrival. Am I forgiven for wanting to die? I did break a Rule when I killed myself. Some believe that suicide is unpardonable."

"Yes, you are forgiven, for your body still lives, even if you had succeeded, you would be forgiven. Currently, you are in a coma, You can choose to go back, or to stay here, in which case, your body may die."

"But Jesus!! It hurts so much! I don't want to live! THAT is why I chose to die!" I wailed as the pain returned a thousand fold.

Jesus hugged me as I soaked His robe, "I know Kelly, but right now, your family and friends are grieving, and your death will destroy their happiness. Do you want for them to suffer because of you?"

Then I saw how each one had been hurt by me, and I knew that it was in my power to end their suffering, and I was appalled to see how my death had ruined so many lives. I wept bitter tears as I saw the destruction that I could wreak by staying.

Johnny would NEVER become the national athlete he was destined to be; no, he became a drunkard and addict. To pay for his habit, he became an enforcer for a local drug dealer who had taken over the Woods Enterprise from Julie Woods after she sold both the business and estate. Johnny ended his life in a final act of heroism when he saved a child from being hit by a speeding truck. His last words were, "Kelly, am I forgiven?"

Mister Woods tried to carry on, but he had lost the zest needed to truly run his company, so Mrs. Woods took over until she was killed by a robber who shot her as she opened the safe. Her last words were, "Go ahead and shoot me, then I'll go to Heaven, and leave this hell on Earth!" She had to have a closed casket service because the shot destroyed her face.

Mister Woods found the robber and killed him with his bare hands, Constable Sebastian found him standing over the body, blank faced. Mister Woods died in a psychiatric ward, never regaining lucidity until the end when he said, "Lynn, I am coming home to be with you in Heaven. I killed your murderer and I paid the price."

That left Julie to run the business, which she was not equipped to run, so she listened to Johnny and they sold everything to his drug dealer friend. She then became a missionary and lost her life when the missionary school was taken by rebels. Her last words were, "I now go to Heaven where I will meet my best friend Kelly. I am ready to die."

Momma went to live with Granny and Grandpa, but on the way, she went off the road into the lake, drowning in freezing winter water. She was listening to me singing "Daddy's Hands" from years ago.

Grandpa lost the use of his body when he went after Johnny with his shotgun. He missed, but a thug that was with Johnny broke Grandpa's neck, paralyzing him from the neck down. He lived only a few days after that when a blood clot hit his brain. He had a letter written before the accident that Granny read at his funeral.

Lizzie Jane:

I love you with my whole heart and am Blessed to have raised two wonderful daughters and our adopted son. But after Kelly died, I lost my zest for life and went after Johnny for hurting her. I did not kill him, but was paralyzed instead. Now I go to heaven where Kelly is. May I be forgiven for my failure in protecting her.

Joe

Granny died after reading the letter saying, "No Beloved, you did not fail Kelly!" as her heart failed her.

Of them all, only Aunt Debbie lived on, but she became a bitter recluse who only saw Pastor Patrick who took her in as his housekeeper so she could retire and forget. She kept pictures of me in her room and before she died, she found a girl that looked like me and adopted her. Amazingly her name was Kelly Li, She was the daughter Chinese woman and American father. She inherited the Moore and Woods estates.

I looked over and saw daddy weeping and went over and got in his lap where he hugged me as we both cried. Here I had actually brought grief to daddy in Heaven. How could I be so cruel? Then I felt in my heart the answer. Michael and Gabriel reverted to their angel forms, silent tears on their countenance as they looked at me, waiting for my answer.

I went over to Jesus, "I will return, even if I must live without hope. Because I can not let my friends and family suffer. This is my burden, NOT theirs to carry," I sighed in resignation. ['Will my hope be renewed, or must I live without any hope now.']

As Heaven receded, I heard JESUS saying, "My child, I heard your silent cry. Your act of Love shall be rewarded in time, your hope will be renewed," He exclaimed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up with a tube down my throat and an I.V. dripping into my arm. Aunt Debbie and my grandparents were there along with the Woods and momma, only Johnny was absent, "No, why did you save me? I have no hope!" ['Where is my hope that I was promised? How long must I wait?']

Momma held my hand, "We've read your letter. We LOVE you my precious daughter. Please don't go away. Please live! I don't know what I'd do without you in my life!" ['I gave her up so that she could grow into becoming herself, will she stay or go back?']

Julie took my other hand and washed it with her tears, " [sniff, sniff] You are my best [sniff, sniff] best friend, [sniff, sniff] and Soul Sister. sniff, sniff] I need you to help me with my life because you are so wise. [sniff, sniff] Will you stay?" ['How many girls have such a close tie as I do with her?']

Grandpa replaced momma, "Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I love you girl! You have brought a breath of fresh air into my life with your presence. [sniff, sniff] Now with you, [sniff, sniff] I have a chance to be a father once again. [sniff, sniff] Stay and be my third daughter please, he sighed." ['I don't care if I catch Johnny as long as she lives, he can go on living. I know that she'd prefer that.']

Granny replaced Julie, "Kelly, [sigh] when you came to live with us, [sniff, sniff] your innocence and spirit renewed my heart. [sigh] I began to see things with a new vigor as the lethargy of growing stale was replaced with a fresh spirit of vitality. [sniff, sniff] Please don't go away, [sigh] I need you to help me be young again. But if you do, don't die, but find a new place instead." ['Like Debbie, she now must choose.']

Then Aunt Debbie stroked my hair, "Kelly, you are the Rose. You are now going through your winter. Love has cut you, and now your heart is bleeding. Let your soul be renewed and blossom into a spring of new hope. I know the pain. I too am a Rose." ['Lord, You are the sweetest Rose Of Sharon, but Kelly needs You to heal her.']

Then I saw bouquets of roses of all colors surrounding the bed, directly at the foot of my bed was a portrait of me wearing a rose dress, sitting on a rock by a rose bush. The portrait was framed by roses, the caption under the frame read: "KELLY LEE MORE-THE LIVING ROSE" Then I smiled, "OK." and held up both thumbs until they saw them, then I went back to sleep.

~~~~~~

In the Chapel, Pastor Patrick consoled everybody. he led them into the meeting room behind the pulpit where he and other Men And Women of The Cloth would meet with the patients family. "Well, I never thought that I'd be consoling you on this, [sigh] I always thought that Kelly was stronger than this," he sighed. [Oh Kelly my child!! Whatever happened to cause you to despair of life?']

Momma passed him my letter, "This is something that only women can truly understand. I am sorry Pastor Patrick, but both you and Charlie can never know what its like to be a woman and give yourself to your beloved or have that love betrayed by the man you love," ['I know how you feel Kelly, and the joy of that love being renewed.']

He read the letter and exclaimed, "MY GOD! NO WONDER SHE DESPAIRED! WHERE IN THE HELL IS JOHNNY!?" ['My Lord. Why did he hurt her? Why did it happen? Is it MY fault for not teaching them better?']

Julie began to cry, "[sniff, sniff] Unfortunately, [sniff, sniff] he is at a football camp. [sniff, sniff] He left as soon as he got his duffel bag. [sniff, sniff] If I'd seen his face instead of watching him drive off,[sniff, sniff] I could have stopped him, [sniff, sniff] she fumed. [Johnny, you HURT MY SISTER! WHY JOHNNY!! WHY?!']

Mrs. Woods held her trembling hand until her anger passed, "No Julie, [sigh] by that time, Kelly had attempted suicide. Debbie called here by the time that Johnny pulled out and we returned from the movies. Julie, even if you had stopped him, Kelly would still be here suffering. Let's hope that he is taking care of why he hurt her," she replied. [Chuck and I feel terrible for not stopping this.']

Momma held her other hand, "I too blame myself for this tragedy. As her mother, it is MY responsibility, but how could I have known what Johnny would do?" even today, I still love him." ['Both are hurting, but only Kelly has despaired of life. will he make a stand or let others destroy him with their hatred? ']

Mister Woods stood up and faced everybody, his face a mask of anguish and pain. Tears flowed freely as he clenched his fists in helpless fury, "THIS IS ALL DUE THAT BASTARD PREACHER AND HIS GOSPEL OF HATE. I THOUGHT THAT HE HAD BEEN STOPPED, BUT HE CONTINUES TO SPREAD HIS FILTH. I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO HIS DEFEAT. [SIGH] UNTIL HE IS CAUGHT AND TRIED FOR HIS CRIMES I CAN NOT LIVE," he said with earnest conviction. ['Kelly, you are here because I failed in protecting you from harm. NOW my life is forfeit.']

Mrs. Woods went, stood by him, clasping his fists in her soft, yet firmly strong hands, "Yes Charles, neither can I know peace. I will use all of our resources to find him, even if we go bankrupt. We owe it to our Godchild. HE WILL RUE THE DAY THAT HE HURT US OR KELLY." she said with a voice as cold as winter.['He will find that a woman's scorn is truly like no other HELL.']

Julie hugged momma, "Momma Moore, Kelly fought for me and paid the price. She suffered for me and it cost her innocence and almost became bitter with hatred. Now she is paying again for defying that bastard! Will she become bitter now? If you need me for anything, let me know, OK?" ['I can at least comfort her momma.']

Momma hugged her back and cried tears of release, "OK Julie." ['She has reminded me of Kelly's gift of love.']

Then Constable Sebastian entered with Johnny, who was wearing his football uniform, but it was in tatters and there was blood on his hands, he led Johnny over to his astonished sister where he sat down and sheepishly smiled at her.

"I don't think that you'll need to worry about him anymore thanks to Johnny here. Especially after what this young bull did, "he grinned with wry amusement. ['I knew that he'd be stopped when he went too far.']

Mister Woods looked at his son and smiled when he saw the way that he held himself like a soldier back from a battle, "Son, have you done something to break the law?" he asked with a smug grin. ['Sebastian wouldn't be so smug if he thought that my son was in trouble. Now what DID he do?']

Johnny visibly stood taller as he saw his father's approval, "Dad that bastard preacher and his ilk are not going to bother us anymore. My only regret is NOT doing it earlier," he sighed as he admitted his greatest mistake. ['For you Kelly, even though I destroyed our love, I did it for you. I hope that I may earn your forgiveness one day.']

Julie led him over to her seat and when he sat down, climbed into his lap, briefly showing her pink roses panty before she adjusted her skirt, OK bro, did you trounce them like Kelly did when they took me?" ['I've NEVER seen him so tense! I have to get this tension out of him or he will have nightmares.']

He smiled at her and patted her nylon clad knee, appreciating again her love of sheer to waist hose, he secretly enjoyed helping her with her cheer routines because in helping her, her fantasized that she was me, "Yes, I thoroughly trounced him AND his followers here at the school when they were partying over what they got me to do to Kelly," he stated as he hung his head in shame. ['But it was too late! I hurt my best friend and lover after our time of passion. I must make amends somehow.']

Mrs. Woods lifted his head by cupping his chin. Well my son, we know that you trounced them, but not why. And just WHY did you trounce them? Did they deserve it?" ['He needs to know that we support what he did.']

He looked at her with hope renewed in his eyes as he saw her love shining through her anguish to embrace his tortured soul, "Oh YES mom! I am sorry that Kelly's attacking them didn't do the job the first time! No, I do not blame her! THEY DESERVE MORE THAN I DID TO THEM!!" he exclaimed. ['Sorry Kelly for letting you down.']

Momma cleared her throat, "OK Johnny, tell us what happened! We need to know why you hurt my daughter and I need to know if I can still call you son," ['I must be firm with him, he hurt my daughter.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I stalked silently up to the door, ready to resign from the Athletic Program. I knew that dad had a college fund set aside for me, playing was for fun, especially when Kelly was on the team. But they had made it a burden, I had continued at the Coach's request after Kelly left, now I couldn't do it anymore. Then I heard their voices and HE was sitting with his back to me with his followers, two on each side.

"Oh come now coach, relax. Face it, these boys did you a favor by having that fag lover Johnny drop that abomination Kelly after it had the good grace to leave so as not to corrupt anymore," he laughed evilly.

I heard a chair being pushed back, "Johnny AND Kelly were the best athletes the school ever had! Your four wimps have not proven to be anything special. They're on the team only because they've yet to quit. Now that you have revealed yourself, I'm dropping them!" He said with conviction.

"Oh no you won't, they are staying on the team and you are dropping Johnny, and I will tell you why. l will simply have you fired for abuse of your power as a coach. Then you will find that no one will hire you. Can you afford that for your family, especially THAT daughter of yours?"

The coach chuckled with confidence, "Sorry Linden, but that will NEVER work. Because I am simply enacting the school policy on bullying that was voted in a year ago. They bullied Johnny into hurting Kelly. And as for my family, touch them and I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!"

His goons shuffled their feet nervously as they contemplated their fate and loss of scholarship, "Oh? Then prove it or drop this bluff. And I won't need to go after your daughter, if you do as I say that is."

Then I turned him around and punched him in the mouth just as he was about to protest, "BASTARD! I HEARD IT ALL!! YOU HURT MY SISTER! I HURT KELLY MY BELOVED BECAUSE OF YOU!! NOW I WILL HURT YOU!! AND NOTHING THAT YOU ARE THEY WILL STOP ME FROM CARRYING OUT MY VENGEANCE!"

Then I heard the coach shout,"JOHNNY!! DEFEND YOURSELF SON!" as two of the students turned to attack him.

Then I saw red. I forgot all thoughts of fair play that I had been taught as I broke their bones, and twisted their bodies with special thrusts into pressure points as I gloried in my attack,[sniff, sniff] I became a monster! [sniff, sniff] It was only when they had stopped moving and lay still moaning in pain did I regain control," he wept tears of grief. ['I am no better than they are. I deserve prison.']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mister Woods clasped his sons shoulder to show his support and love, "Oh Jonathan, my son, you've done what I wanted to do to them, but I might not have stopped," he sighed. ['Why must that bastard continue to hurt my family? Is his evil finally truly over? Or will her return to inflict his evil upon us again? Please Lord, let it be over before one of us dies in this senseless war that he has declared.']

Johnny hung his head in shame of his dad's love that he felt unworthy of receiving, "But dad! [sniff, sniff] I broke the law! [sniff, sniff] Worst of all, I gloried in my power! I set myself up as a god of vengeance and reveled in their distress. I am a monster, he wept as he admitted the truth. ['Can I be redeemed?']

Then Julie hauled back and landed a slap on Johnny's cheek that rocked him back. When he looked at her, he saw a fire dangerous to kindle in her eyes. . She was crying silent tears that ran unashamedly down her cheeks.

[sniff, sniff] "DON"T YOU DARE BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT JOHNNY BRO! [sniff, sniff] THEY HURT YOU! [sniff, sniff] THEY HURT KELLY! [sniff, sniff] THEY 'RAPED' ME! [sniff, sniff] Oh my brother, [sigh] you were there for my ordeal, [sniff, sniff] I am here for yours, sniff, sniff]," she cried as she soothed his bruised cheek. ['They've BOTH been cruelly hurt in attacking that fiend. May his evil now be ended.']

Then he turned to Pastor Patrick in hopes of redemption, [sniff, sniff] "Sir, [sniff, sniff] has GOD forgiven me? Right now,[sniff, sniff] after hurting my beloved Kelly,[sniff, sniff] and my attack on the fiends, [sniff, sniff] I do not know where I am with Jesus,"[sigh]" he asked with tears flooding his eyes. ['I am so tired, I need to rest.']

Momma and Mrs. Woods hugged Johnny as Pastor Patrick replied with firm conviction, "Yes son, HE wants for you to forgive yourself," he said with tears in his eyes. ['Even now, he like Kelly is so childlike about so many things.']

Then Johnny wept freely as he let go of his anguish and his heart was healed of its turmoil. When he looked up, he saw that Julie's top was thoroughly soaked, her bra clearly showing through, "Sorry Sis, for soaking your top. Good thing that we always carry spares in the trunk, I guess we both need to change clothes, huh?" [MAN! she is so beautiful! Some guy will be very lucky when she accepts his proposal!']

She smiled and gently caressed his bruised face, "OK bro, let's get changed. I didn't mean to slap you that hard, but I had to get your attention you stubborn mule." ['Only Kelly or I could ever get away with slapping him.']

Mrs. Woods passed a denim tote bag to Johnny, "There's a change in there for both of you, and what you need to wash up too," she grinned. ['If we hadn't started keeping spares for them, our children would be wearing dirty clothes after their games.']

Johnny carried Julie to the restroom and covered her with the tote bag to preserve her modesty.

She came out of the women's in her red flannel shirt and matching panty and socks, red hose and shorts, then headed towards her parents while Johnny came out of the men's wearing his gray sweats and loafers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and saw Johnny holding my hand, "Morning Kelly. [sigh] I'm glad that you're alright. I never meant for this to happen." ['I could get use to waking up with her, but I burned that bridge and only she can restore it.']

I smiled in spite of our break up, "Yes Johnny, I'm alright. Although, truth to tell, I am surprised that you'd want to see me after the break up. I thought that we were through. ['Is he now regretting breaking up with me?']

He blushed, "I deserve that from you and so much more. As for our friendship, I can only hope that after they brought you in because of your nervous breakdown, that you can forgive me one day."

Then I sang 'Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.'

Johnny wept as he looked away, "I know Kelly, [sniff, sniff] I know! I TOO am hurt! PLEASE don't make it any harder on me!" ['LORD, how long must I suffer? Have I lost her as my best friend in what I did?']

I smiled and laid my hand on his, "I know that Johnny, I know that you still love me as I love you, but right now my heart is cold as stone and dead. I don't know if I will ever be able to love, ever again. Please understand," I sighed in resignation of the new reality. ['Oh how I WANT to love, but I can't.']

He ever so gently caressed my face, "Yes, I understand, I have taken care of my problem, the one that caused this to happen. I know that it is too late for us after my betrayal. But I hope that we can still be friends. If not, I will understand." ['She is still my Dream Girl, but I will give up that dream for her sake.']

I took his hand in both of mine and kissed it, sorrowing over the bandages on it, "Johnny, I am truly sorry that I have to say this, [sigh] even though I have forgiven you, our friendship is now no more. For I have no hope, and until hope is restored, my heart is dead, without hope, I can not feel," I sighed. ['Lord, I hate having to hurt him, but how can I pretend a friendship that I can not feel?']

He gently held my hands in his rough, meaty hands, " I know that you don't want to hurt me Kelly, But even though you say that you have no hope, is there a chance that you will hope again?" ['I can not let go of even the slimmest of hope. I have to believe that she will hope again! It would break me to know that she will never know hope.']

I gently placed my hand on the cheek that Julie had slapped, "Well Johnny, I guess that you had best hope that things get better. And there is a chance too. Because even though, right now, I don't know, if I will hope again, GOD told me not to give up hope," I smirked at my humor. ['I can't stay mad at him. It just isn't in my heart.']

Then he chuckled as he understood my wordplay, "Well, one thing is sure and certain, your sense of humor is still there. As long as you can joke and prank, your heart, even though silent, still remembers the good times and awaits their return."

Kelly's Journey (Revised) Chapter-18- Onward By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis:Kelly continues to recover and discover new things about herself as she grows and matures into the woman that she is inside.

---

* * *

I stayed there for a week because the drugs combined with the moonshine to bollix up my systems and me being in transition, made my doctors dubious about my mental health. They were afraid that I might succeed and cause problems from activists who specialized in causing trouble when there was no need simply to further their selfish political agenda to get into the political arena. The hospital faculty was relieved when I agreed to not talk to them.

* * *

I saw an older brunette haired woman wearing a Navy Officer Dress Uniform. She looked smart in the trim, white uniform and white hose. The skirt was knee length with slits on each side up to her mid thigh. She was carrying a clipboard and her expression was very dour.

I put down the book that I was reading, "Hello, who are you?' I asked as I held out my hand. ['Why is she such a gloomy Gus?']

She quickly shook my hand and sat down, "My name is Sarah Lynn Morgan. I am the hospital's administrator. I need to speak with you about your stay here." ['Why does a 'PERSON' like this have to be here? We can't afford the publicity.']

I looked at her confused, "What is there to speak about? I have insurance, and even if it doesn't cover my stay, I have the funds to pay for my stay." [Just my luck to have a penny pincher to cause trouble.']

"Well, you are NOT a real girl, and your attempted suicide will give political activist fuel for their agenda that will destroy the hospital's reputation. You can hurt us simply by being here." ['I want to just evict the patient, but then the hospital would be sued, a no-win situation.']

I got out of bed, showing her my definite feminine body in all of its glory, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT A REAL GIRL?" I hissed in anger. ['How dare she question my identity! Grandpa took care of that already!']

"Unfortunately for you, you are quite well known thanks to your adventures at Ronzi's. [Sigh] Believe me, all that I see is a very pretty young lady, but X-ray and ultra-sound will show both show your true gender as well as any blood tests performed. If not for that pupil of Listen, I'd not be worried, but your presence here has already been sent to others and the media is demanding a press conference." ['Will Kelly give me a way out of this? Or will she hide away from the mob?']

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT MAD MAN IS STILL CAUSING ME TROUBLE!?" I cried out with tears streaming down my face. ['Lord! Why can I not get away from the mad man?']

Then surprisingly, she held me as I regained control, "I am sorry Kelly, but even though he is gone, his evil lingers on in his followers." [' She has been hurt by him and now I am his unwitting pawn.']

In my heart, I resolved to end this senseless war, "If you would, please call a press conference. I am sick and damned tired of his antics! I will expose him for what he is!" I demanded with utter finality. ['Pastor Patrick, I am NOW doing your job! Why have you NOT done something before now?']

* * *

The next day, I was dressed in my black skirt suit with matching panty and white blouse, hose and sandals. My family and friends were there on stage with me as well as Pastor Patrick. I was ready to speak first, but he went up before I could.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, I am Pastor Patrick. I am the Pastor of Tri-County United Methodist Church . I am pleased to say that I am the shepard of these fine people behind me and a congregation of good Christian law abiding members. Unfortunately, one of my flock has been targeted by a former minister, Avery Linden who set himself up as a judge against Kelly Lee Moore.

"He has attacked her several times in his bigoted war to further his agenda of hatred. He was shut down, but even in prison he has continued to attack her. As the Chairman of the Tri-County Church Council, I have failed in my duty to protect her."

Then I got up and hugged him, "No, you have not failed me, nor has Constable Sebastian. Linden has been using his visitation rights to maintain his hold on his followers. I am here to tell why he has been after me.

"I am genetically a male, but I have chosen to live as a female. My family and friends all support me. Only Linden and his followers are against me. The only reason for this press conference is because one of his followers leaked my identity to the public to cause a riot. Well, I will NOT let anybody cause harm to this hospital on my behalf. I have signed a document releasing the hospital from any responsibility in my treatment.

After the press conference, Constable Sebastian was able to place Linden into solitary and all of those that had visited him were all guilty of breaking the law and joined him in prison, thus ending the war.

* * *

Now that my identity and safety had been assured, I could concentrate upon recovering from my suicide attempt. My enforced bed rest had combined with the bruising caused by medical intervention to weaken my muscle tone, leaving me tuckered out most of the time. It was after the sedatives were removed that I began to regain my strength.

I began to at first, walk with the assistance of a special walker that had two wheels on each of its four corners with brakes and a fold-down seat. It even had pedals that went to the rear wheels. Come to find out, Grandpa had built me a combination bicycle-wheelchair to aid in my recovery. I should have known that with his tendency to tinker with things, that he's have come up with it.

I was out and about, getting in my commute to the cafeteria where I took my meals to with me to eat. I just had to be with people, and the cafeteria met that need. I had become a fixture there, sitting by the fountain and reading my schoolbooks, that the table was unofficially dubbed Kelly's School.

* * *

I was eating lunch when Grandpa arrived, "Well Kelly, I see that your doing a whole lot better than when I saw you last time," he chuckled. ['She looks real good, almost like her old self. Soon, she will be well.']

I dropped my English book and ran over to him, "GRANDPA!! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!! WHERE'S GRANNY?" I exclaimed as I hugged him. He looked great in his red plaid shirt and overalls. [' I've missed his gentle good humor and quiet strength. He must've been daddy's role model.']

He kissed me on the forehead, "She's visiting her Gynecologist here. She'll be here later. Right now, it's just us." ['Lord, it's been so lonely without her, but as long as she returns, it'll be well worth the wait.']

I smiled up at him and caressed his bewhiskered cheek, "I'm glad that you came Grandpa, I've missed your silly stories about the farm animals and their antics," I giggled mischievously. ['He made the farm come alive for me and gave me a love for the farm that I can never repay except to one day raise children to inherit the legacy.']

He chuckled at my very apt description of his none sense stories, "Well, if I hadn't of become a farmer, I'd have become a reporter, but the farm's call was too strong, so I have told my whoppers instead." ['I didn't have the opportunities that my children or Kelly has, or I'd have fulfilled that dream.']

Then I led him to my table, I sat down while he went to get us both a mug of cappuccino, "I see that they've labeled your table for you," he smirked. ['Kelly has that gift of encouraging others to perform acts of kindness. Yet she never abuses it.']

I picked up my dropped schoolbook and placed it on the table, "That's because I'm keeping up with my school assignments. I can't do anything about my gymnastics yet, but I will in time," I sighed in regret. ['I miss being so active.']

Grandpa took a sip of his cappuccino, "What about all of the walking and pedaling that you do? Doesn't that help out any?" ['Wait till she learns about my little surprise.']

I shook my head, and then finished my delicious cake which I halved with him, "Oh it helps, but I need an exercise mat for my yoga and other disciplines that I'm neglecting." ['He doesn't know what I'm missing.']

"Well, I can bring you yours from home if you wish, but do you have your workout togs?" ['Seeing her jump all over the farm like a gazelle has been something that I cherish, especially when she wears those cute little skirts. She brings back memories of Terri when she was a cheerleader and of my Beloved Lizzie too.']

"That'd be swell Grandpa! I am getting all out of shape just laying here!" ['I wonder how much weight that I've gained? My panties are starting to feel a tad tight.']

Grandpa leered jokingly at me like Groucho Marx, "Frankly my dear, you look quite delicious to me as you are." ['DAMN! I sound like a letch! It's a good thing that she know that I'm joking around with her.']

I squealed in delight, "Grandpa you dirty old man! I am not on the menu today!" ['I can see everybody here gossiping about this now.']

"Too bad, the cafe would make a killing selling Kelly potpies." ['She does make a delicious potpie at that.']

"OK Grandpa, I know that you're here alone for some reason, now tell me because I know that you'd stay with Granny." ['If he thinks that he can pull the wool over my eyes, he has another think coming.']

"You're right; Granny is here in the beauty salon, getting her hair done. I am taking this time to be with you and make sure that my doodad is working." ['Now let's see if she can figure out what it is.']

Then it dawned on me where my walker had come from, "OH! So YOU'RE the one responsible for my transportation! I should've known that you'd have built it in your shop," I smirked. ['He tinkers as much as he farms.']

"Yep! I took the old bicycle frames and lawnmower wheels to make it. I would've added gears, but felt that they'd be a bit much," he grinned. ['I finally did something to alleviate my burden. I feel so free now.']

I finished my cappuccino and Grandpa took away the trash while I loaded my tray onto my walker, "Well Good Looking, let's get rid of my tray and go see Granny, I feel like getting the works today." ['There's nothing like getting pampered in a beauty salon to lift a girl's spirits up when she's down.']

Grandpa took my tray to the Tray Disposal Window, "OK, but YOU take it easy and ride. I want to see how well my contraption works for you," he gestured to my walker. ['Lizzie and Terri did well, but it was meant for Kelly.']

I sat in the seat and began pedaling away, "Catch me if you can, Big Boy!" I called out as I passed him. ['Wait'll Granny see me now!']

I zoomed to the beauty salon, only to find BOTH of my grandparents sitting out front, waiting for me. Granny looked very pretty in her floor length denim skirt and red blouse, "Say what? How did you beat me here Grandpa?"

"I took a shortcut through the back," he chuckled. ['It's always fun to pull a fast one on Kelly, especially when she doesn't see it coming.']

Then Granny hugged me, "Darling Kelly, we planned this outing today to treat our granddaughter to a day of being pampered as only a beauty salon can do. Joe wanted to see how you were doing with your gift that he made for you, he knows how much it is that you miss being active. And I miss our time in the kitchen. So, get ready, because we're gonna be spoiled while Joe sets up your room with your exercise equipment." ['She is so frail looking, but she is as tough as nails like her mother.']

"You lied Grandpa, you said that Granny was getting the works, not waiting for me, and you have my stuff here," I smirked. ['Guess that it's my day to be pranked by my grandparents, and I love it.']

"Well, I NEVER aid that she was IN the salon. Only that she was here to get the works, and I still have to go get the stuff out of the truck," he grinned. ['I can see that she's considering some way to thank us, probably with a prank.']

I got out my mini-squirt-gun that I kept handy and got him right in the mouth, "OK Gramps, thanks for my ride and room," I giggled. [Wasn't expecting me to use such a childish prank, I bet.']

Granny giggled, "I see that she got you Joe, right in the mouth!" ['Good aim kiddo, he never saw it coming.']

"Well, I guess that's her way of saying thanks," he spluttered as he wiped his mouth. ['I see that she is aiming at Lizzie, Far be it for me to interfere with Kelly's fun.']

I aimed right at Granny's nose and let fly with my final squirt, the shot went up her nose, "Gotcha Granny! Ready for the spoiling now?" I asked mischievously.

"OK Kelly, guess you got us both."

* * *

We both were pampered as we were subjected to the special treatments that cleansed and rejuvenated our bodies. The fact that I was wearing my gaffe didn't matter. They had a gentleman there who tucked my boy bits in such a way that I looked like a girl, before he tucked, my groin was thoroughly treated though and released afterwards. I truly never have felt as decadent as when I was given a massage by the Swedish Masseuse Inga. She looked just like Sonya Henning, that Ice-skating star from yesteryear.

When we got through with our pampering, I found that Granny had gotten me a white skirted sailor-girl leotard with matching socks, shoes and taupe hose while she wore a denim skirt and peasant blouse with penny loafers. I got on my ride and went up to my room where Grandpa was waiting outside.

"Well, here are my beautiful wife and granddaughter. Can I be anymore blessed than I am to be graced with such wealth?" he announced with a twinkle in his eyes. ['That pampering did them both good.']

"Oh shush Joe, your making me blush, you flirt!" Indeed, Granny was beet red and smiling at the attention. ['He still can get my heart racing with his smooth talking.']

I got up out of my ride and hugged him, "OK Grandpa, you wouldn't be out here unless you were through, may I see what you did?" ['Did he bring my favorite plushy? I've missed that old bird something fierce.']

I had a beautiful plushy eagle that daddy had given me before he died. It is a bald eagle done in patriotic colors. I've been using it as a pillow and confidant for years. This was the first time that I was away from 'Old Abe', my plushy.

He opened the door with a flourish and chuckled, "Open sesame my dear Kelly, your humble servant awaits thy edict." ['She always said that if she was a Princess or Queen that she'd not be a weak one, but more like Xena. And I believe her too.']

I giggled, "OK my servant, [giggle] Queen Xena shall see if you are worth keeping or sending to the dungeons." ['He's being silly. No doubt about it, he is recovering from his anger over my being here. But when will I have hope again?']

I entered the room and was impressed with what he'd done. Not only was my exercise mat there, but my ballet mirror/bar assembly as well as my weights and martial arts equipment. I looked in the nightstand and saw my collection of books and my laptop computer with internet access. Grandpa had truly made the room feel like home.

Granny stood by me, "He really outdid himself for you Princess. This is the most that he's done since you've left last week." ['Joe lost that spark like I did. We need Kelly to be whole Lord. When will that be?']

I turned and hugged both of them, "[sniff, sniff] Thanks Granny and Grandpa. [sniff, sniff The beauty salon trip [sniff, sniff] and redoing my room makes my stay here [sniff, sniff] a lot more bearable," I wept as tears flowed freely down my face.

Granny kissed my tear wet cheek, "You're more than welcome my Precious Kelly. You have been a joy to have at the farm, and teaching you all about being farmer's wife was like having your mother Terri back home." ['It will be another tearful joy to see her move on, but she must spread her wings and fly.']

Grandpa kissed my other cheek, "It was my pleasure to build you your little ride and make your room like home. Debbie will be here after she gets through with school." ['Now she'll ask about school.']

"What about school for me? Am I still enrolled or must I now repeat the grade?" ['That'd be just desserts for what I did.']

"We'll let Debbie answer that since she is now your tutor. It's a good thing that you've kept up with your schoolwork," replied Granny.

"OK, I guess that she's been way too busy with school and her job to visit. When will she come by?"

Then I saw her come up silently behind my grandparents, she motioned for me to stay silent. Which I did because of my surprise. She looked stunning in her school uniform of white blouse, red blazer, blue skort, bloomers and shoes with suntan hose. I knew that my uniform replaced the blazer with a sweeter vest.

She hugged them, "Oh Kelly Girl, [giggle] I am here NOW for you. [Giggle] I've been by before, [giggle] but you were asleep," she giggled. ['GOD! It's so good to see my niece up and about after seeing her practically dead in that living nightmare.']

"AUNTIE!! I'VE MISSED YOU SO TERRIBLY MUCH! IT'S SO GOOD TO SE YOU AGAIN!" I exclaimed as my grandparents opened their arms so that I could bear hug her. ['My confidant and strength in my troubled times.']

"[Sniff, sniff When I saw you dead to the world [sniff, sniff] after your suicide attempt, [sniff, sniff I thought that I had lost you! [Sniff, sniff Seeing you alive and well is a balm to my soul, [sniff, sniff] " she cried. ['And NOW that nightmare is over and a new dream has dawned in my heart.']

I began to cry after I heard Auntie, "[sniff, sniff] I'm sorry Auntie, [sniff, sniff] but at the time, [sniff, sniff] I wanted to die [sniff, sniff and end my suffering. [Sniff, sniff GOD let you return in time to save me. [Sniff, sniff Otherwise, [sniff, sniff] I'd be dead [sniff, sniff] and in Heaven with daddy. [Sniff, sniff] "['Nobody can understand my anguish, NOBODY!']

"Oh Kelly! If I had of gotten there in time, I could have told you about my experience with being betrayed! I know the feeling and so does your mother."

I felt a small, strong hand on my shoulder,"[sniff, sniff] I too know betrayal that made me despair, [sniff, sniff] but not to the degree that you despaired, [sniff, sniff "wept Granny. ['I never thought that I'd ever talk about this, but I will for Kelly.']

Then an idea formed in my head, "Do we need to go to the Chapel Conference Room? Because I am assuming that Momma and the Woods aren't far behind," I smirked, knowing that I had caught them all in a big cover-up from the guilty looks on their faces. ['They can't keep a secret very well around me.']

Aunt Debbie spoke up first, "Yes, they'll be here later for dinner. I'm here to test you on your school subjects to see if you up to par with the curriculum while they go and see about off loading what furniture and such that they've got on the truck." ['I've never known of my parents to not make the most of a trip.']

* * *

We headed down to the Chapel Conference Room where Father Dowling and Sister Mary were the Resident Clergy for the week. The hospital scheduled the Clergy from the different Churches participating in the Chapel Program. There were Daily Morning and Evening Services with local choirs giving concerts on Saturday evenings. I had been here both as a singer, dancer and in the audience.

When I saw him outside the Chapel, I leaped out of my ride and jumped into his arms with a squeal of delight, "FATHER DOWLING! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHAPEL?!" ['He looks so much younger now than when we met years ago after daddy died.']

He smiled broadly and returned my hug, "Oh, I'm still there, I'm simply letting my apprentice have his chance while I serve here. Jerri Dowling deserves her chance." ['I never believed that I'd be graced with children.']

"YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT'S A PRIEST?! I THOUGHT THAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAD ONLY MALE PRIESTS!" ['Maybe my study of other churches is faulty, or is there something else going on here?']

"You are correct; I have twins by Sister Mary who chose to send our children to live with her parents. They grew up coming to my Chapel and when my son Mark became a Priest, my daughter became a Methodist Pastor." ['What a legacy you gave me Lord! Both of my children followed me into the Ministry.']

I felt Sister Mary hug me in true sisterly affection, "When we saw you and your mother, we thought about what a wonderful family you were, I had my own twins that my mother was raising. She knew that Peter was the father. It was then that we decided to let our children know the truth." ['Kelly helped me to see what wonderful thing parenthood is and what we were giving up for the Church. That's why we are now separate from the Catholic Church.']

"Well, I think that you two did the right thing, what has the Church said about it?"

"They know only that I adopted a young boy and his sister and that they followed me into the Ministry. They want to admonish me for not encouraging Jerri to be a nun, but what can they really do? The Roadside Chapel belongs to the Stare and leased out to Woods Enterprises," he chuckled. ['I've never met my benefactor to thank them for their generosity. How I wish that I could.']

Then I saw a way to repay the Woods for their friendship, "Are you talking about Charles Woods?"

Sister Mary did the Cross over her heart and knelt to pray," Yes Kelly, Why do you ask?" he looked at me with hope in his eyes.

"Well, he just happens to be coming here today. He's my Godfather," I smirked.

"Is that why your family left you here?"

"I guess so. Knowing them, they saw that we knew each other and are letting us have some private time."

Then Momma came up and hugged me, "Yes Kelly, they did and now it's time for everybody to meet."

* * *

Meet we did. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and renewal as we gathered together to share our griefs and joys with one another. I was reacquainted with the gossip that I was ignorant of and the many oddities that made everybody unique.

Mister Woods had purchased several trailers and outfitted them as portable kitchens for helping out with natural disasters where safe food preparation was paramount as well as others loaded with supplies. His Disaster Relief Trailers have helped out throughout the nation, going into the forgotten areas devastated by Mother Nature.

Mrs. Woods had a few trailers outfitted as mini-hospitals and operating rooms. Under her supervision, the boy-scouts and girl-scouts both were trained in the latest first aid and CPR training and those with any medical training were kept up to date.

Julie organized the cheerleaders and dancers into volunteer help at hospitals and nursing homes, often working with the Humane Society by taking shelter animals to patients and working in the shelter to care for the unfortunate pets. She convinced her dad to cover the expense of their care and found a large warehouse to act as their new home.

My Sweet Johnny became the much needed Student Leader of the athletes that Coach was looking for. He led the school's Athletic Program into winning #1 Placement in every sport and was voted Student Leader in his senior year.

Momma was able to organize other ladies and gentlemen form her own Secretarial/Catering Service through Mister Woods and take over as Manager/Vice-President of Woods Enterprises Catering Division. Now, it is a state-wide company with a certified degree in Business Management/Catering to help train others.

Aunt Debbie used her knowledge of theater and makeup to help her school to start performing plays and talent shows when Mister Phelps, the theater teacher retired. She also helped to publish the school weekly newspaper and yearbook.

Grandpa Joe sold or donated his carvings and tinkerings to the Disaster Relief Trailers of Mister Woods and won an award for Community Citizenship for doing the plumbing and electrical work on a block of apartment buildings made to house

Granny Lizzie donated all of her canned and freezer goods as well as her bodacious supply of quilts and such to supply the Disaster Relief Trailers that Mister Woods built. Now she has been set up to manage a small warehouse where she supervises the production of Disaster Relief Groceries.

Constable Sebastian was given brand new equipment and a new Headquarters to house the new Camera-Security System to help prevent crime and aid in Medical Emergencies. The system is mainly in the Business and School Districts with all streets monitored to help the citizenry, NOT to write tickets. He only intervenes when an accident occurs, much like Andy Taylor on the Andy Griffith Show.

Me, I still don't know what I'll be or what my future holds for me, but I do know that I have one, and that comforted me and let me sleep peacefully. My only regret is that it took my attempting suicide to come to this realization.

* * *

Then after hugging and kissing them 'goodbye', after the meeting, I went to bed and dedicated several hours to my own brand of therapy. I had often in the past had let physical exhaustion clear my mind so that I could more readily deal with anything.

Well, I exhausted myself in performing the exercise routines that I had been neglecting in the week long enforced bed rest caused by the mini-coma. I woke up the next morning, stinky, sore and tired, but a pain pill eased my aching muscles so that I could clean up and tackle the equipment again.

I threw myself into the exercises in an effort to keep from thinking about myself. I still felt empty and weak, like a drum that was being drummed by a very poor drummer who had absolutely no rhythm. I knew that I could very easily backslide and despair again, taking my life, And even worse, I feared that the next time that I'd succeed and send my family and friends into the very hell that I had come back from death to prevent.

I knew that I had been given the choice the last time, but I had no guarantee that I'd be sent back again. Beyond that, I had vowed to live for them and I have NEVER gone back on my word, no matter the cost to me. No, I would live for them and go through hell on Earth for them, even if I NEVER knew hope again.

* * *

After entering into my second set of exercises after breakfast, a stranger entered my room and sat down, waiting for me to respond. She was my momma's age, with honey blond curly hair, making her look like Shirley Temple. She was wearing a multi-colored skirted leotard and beige tights with pink ballet slippers compared to my skin tone sports bra with matching briefs over tan hose. My ballet slippers were white.

I looked at her and held out both of my hands, "Hello, sorry about the mess Ma'am, but as you can see, I am exercising," I smirked, ['Wonder if she wants to join me in the fun?'] Even after all this time, I was being the perfect hostess, that training was too well ingrained.

She got up and sat by me where I was laying after finishing with my 'bicycle' exercise, "Hello, my name is Terri Anne Volkirch. I am a psychiatrist assigned to your case. I heard that you were working up a sweat, so I thought that I'd join you," she smiled. ['She shows all of the signs of running from a problem, will she open up? Or must I dig deep into her psyche?']

"Thanks! Let me guess, you're here because of my attempted suicide. Although I was expecting for you to be dressed like the others," I sighed. ["I must be strong or I will despair, even now.']

She smiled at my rancor, "Yes, that's why I'm here. But since you're getting into exercising, I thought that I'd kill two birds with one stone. You see, I too need to exercise," ['Let's see if her sense of humor is intact now.']

"Two birds huh? You mean you and me? Because I can guarantee you that even with me being out of shape, that if you exercise with me that you'll want to kill me to stop the torture, Only Julie or Johnny could really match me before," I giggled. ['Those were fun times, before the game, before the passion.']

She looked very thoughtful, "Actually, that's pretty close to what I have in mind. I want to gauge your competitive spirit to see if you're ready for sports again." ['If she has the spirit, hopefully I can get her to channel it into wanting to live. She is still way to close the edge of despair. I can read it in her eyes. Her mother is right; Kelly's eyes are a window to her soul. May I give her the strength to continue to fight,']

Then I jumped up with a grin, "Well then, let's see just how much we're both in shape. Because I can tell you truthfully that I am far from my peak condition. I guess that you know that to dare me to do anything is to get my blood flowing," ['Working with her will help me to better gauge my own abilities.']

I saw her evilly grin, "I just might have somebody here to push me to go beyond MY limits." ['Never have I seen such a competitive yet easy going innocent spirit. I want to see her healed.']

So we both pushed ourselves to go beyond what we believed was our best. By the time that we ended our routine, we were both exhausted and stinky. We fell asleep, only to be awakened by Nurse Holly as she came to take my 11: o'clock vitals reading. I know that I sound archaic, but reading those old novels does that to you.

* * *

Nurse Holly entered wearing her classic whites dress, she was quite young and loved showing off her trim figure in form-fitting clothes that allowed her to show off her legs. She had been a cheerleader in school and even now, dedicated an hour a week to maintaining her figure. She had graduated years ago and was happily married to her husband Richard Hart who was the heir of the Happy Hart Corporation that had bankrolled most of the local business enterprises in the area.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Wake up Princess. Time to take your readings and blood. Then you can shower and change clothes while your bedding is refreshed." ['She looks so peaceful there. Hard to imagine her committing suicide. But she most definitely needs to take a bath, SHE REEKS!']

I groaned as I felt my body's pain and stiffness,"Ooooh! Please Nurse Holly, be a Saint and put me out of my suffering! Why did I ever agree to this stupidity? No, don't tell me. It was me and my ego." ['I've NEVER felt THIS bad before!!']

I heard another groan beside me,"OoOoo! I agree! Did anybody get the name of that Mack Truck that ran over me? What I do for my patients SHOULD grant me a Knighthood if I was British," she joked. ['Well, my grandparents are from England and I do have dual citizenship.']

Nurse Holly giggled, "OK you two, enough with the theatrics. The nurses bet on what would happen when you two competed, I won." ['I knew from her friends that Kelly would compete, but NOT the doc, good thing I guessed right.']

Terri Anne sighed, "Well, I'm glad that you won, but we're both suffering, do we get relief?" ['DAMN! I am NOT at my best right now.']

"Nurse, I pushed myself because I've NOT been able to exercise as I am use to doing. Normally, the workout would've been followed by a good soak in a hot tub, spa, or massage. Is there a spa here?" ['I forgot to ask before, and it's a good thing that I've got that massaging recliner from home.']

"Yes, there's a whirlpool spa here in the gymnasium and in the Therapy section as well. You can go there AFTER I've given you your medicines and take some blood," She immediately produced the vials and my pills with a mischievous grin. ['She HATES it whenever we draw blood, calling us vampires.]

"OK, what about me? Do I get any relief?" ['Why must I ask again I wonder? Is she being purposefully dense?']

Nurse Holly reached and helped her up, "Yes doctor, it's just that it's so very seldom that we see a shrink gotten the better of by a patient. Please let me wheel you down to the spa," she smirked. ['At least she has a sense of humor.']

"Well, considering the patient here, no doubt," Terri added as she stretched.

Then Nurse Holly came over and got ready to draw even more blood, "What are you getting blood for now?" I visibly cringed. ['If they keep on, I won't be able to donate for a year!']

"Well, since you want to transition, we need to make sure about your health. It wouldn't do to have you on the table only to have to remove some cancer." ['I've seen it happen before, and it ain't pretty.']

I started thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. I had to watch as a fellow student Maggie Sharp had succumbed to leukemia and visibly wither way. She was my age and only after she was buried did I learn from her parents that she was in transition. She had taken drugs that had caused her liver to shut down and allowed for the leukemia that was dormant to ravage her body.

I felt an encouraging arm on my shoulder, "You look as if you were reliving a bad memory there want to tell me about it?" ['Whatever it is has her scared to death.']

Then I held out my arm so that Nurse Holly could draw blood, which she did at a nod from Terri, "Thanks, I was thinking about another girl like me who died because she took the wrong drugs that shut down her liver and let her leukemia return. [Sigh] We were both cheerleaders and I learned her secret only after her death."

"Maggie Sharp?"

"The same, why?"

"She was my patient. I was hoping that the regimen of drugs would prevent her death, but she went to the internet, and did not transition under a doctor's care."

* * *

I am glad to say that I am in excellent health, and according to all the tests, I am cancer free. I had to make sure that the hormones that I was taking wasn't messing me up. My testicles were atrophied and penis only a nub, but there was enough skin and tissue to create a vagina or me according to the staff. When I told them to measure Johnny to be sure, brought the house down. It seems that he had a mold made of it for the doctors; they assured me that my real vagina could handle it.

Truthfully, I wasn't interested in sex. Having to dilate my vagina would be a necessary evil in order for me to be a woman as much as possible. I knew that there were genetic women unable to give birth. Me, I wanted to be a birth mother but I knew that was out of the question.

Recently, I had been thinking about how much fun the Woods and my family had had raising me and my bestest of friends. I wanted the feel of a child in me and nursing my child from milk in my mammaries, better known as breasts. Taking the proper hormones, I could feed a newborn, but that child would not be mine. Next time that I visit Heaven, I will talk to Jesus about this.

* * *

That night, after we went our separate ways, I listened to Bette Middler's 'The Rose' and thought about how very well the song fit me.

I now knew that their love had drowned the tender reed of my heart and cleansed it of my despair of Johnny's razor that caused my soul to bleed. Yes, my love for Johnny is an endless, aching need. But my love is a flower, my love for Johnny but a seed.

Right now, I'm afraid to love again, afraid of breaking in the dance of love. I'm afraid to dream of love, afraid to take the chance. I'm afraid for my heart to be taken, because I can not give. I died because I was afraid to live.

This night of no hope has been too lonely, the road too long. I know that love is for everybody, both weak and strong. And I have been promised that beneath the bitter snow of my winter, my heart's seed will in the renewal of the Lord's Healing will become a Rose.

 

Kelly's Journey Chapter 16: Onward By Stanman63 Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration! Synopsis: Kelly continues to recover and discover new things about herself as she grows and matures into the woman that she is inside.

---

I stayed there for a week because the drugs combined with the moonshine to bollix up my systems and me being in transition, made my doctors dubious about my mental health. They were afraid that I might succeed and cause problems from activists who specialized in causing trouble when there was no need simply to further their selfish political agenda to get into the political arena. The hospital faculty was relieved when I agreed to not talk to them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw an older brunette haired woman wearing a Navy Officer Dress Uniform. She looked smart in the trim, white uniform and white hose. The skirt was knee length with slits on each side up to her mid thigh. She was carrying a clipboard and her expression was very dour.

I put down the book that I was reading, "Hello, who are you?' I asked as I held out my hand. ['Why is she such a gloomy Gus?']

She quickly shook my hand and sat down, " My name is Sarah Lynn Morgan. I am the hospital's administrator. I need to speak with you about your stay here." ['Why does a 'PERSON' like this have to be here? We can't afford the publicity.']

I looked at her confused, "What is there to speak about? I have insurance, and even if it doesn't cover my stay, I have the funds to pay for my stay." [Just my luck to have a penny pincher to cause trouble.']

"Well, you are NOT a real girl, and your attempted suicide will give political activist fuel for their agenda that will destroy the hospital's reputation. You can hurt us simply by being here." ['I want to just evict the patient, but then the hospital would be sued, a no-win situation.']

I got out of bed, showing her my definite feminine body in all of its glory, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT A REAL GIRL?" I hissed in anger. ['How dare she question my identity! Grandpa took care of that already!']

"Unfortunately for you, you are quite well known thanks to your adventures at Ronzi's. [sigh] Believe me, all that I see is a very pretty young lady, but X-ray and ultra-sound will show both show your true gender as well as any blood tests performed. If not for that pupil of Listen, I'd not be worried, but your presence here has already been sent to others and the media is demanding a press conference." ['Will Kelly give me a way out of this? Or will she hide away from from the mob?']

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT MAD MAN IS STILL CAUSING ME TROUBLE!?" I cried out with tears streaming down my face. ['Lord! Why can I not get away from the mad man?']

Then surprisingly, she held me as I regained control, " I am sorry Kelly, but even though he is gone, his evil lingers on in his followers." [' She has been hurt by him and now I am his unwitting pawn.']

In my heart, I resolved to end this senseless war, "If you would, please call a press conference. I am sick and damned tired of his antics! I will expose him for what he is!" I demanded with utter finality. ['Pastor Patrick, I am NOW doing your job! Why have you NOT done something before now?']

~*~

The next day, I was dressed in my black skirt suit with matching panty and white blouse, hose and sandals. my family and friends were there on stage with me as well as Pastor Patrick. I was ready to speak first, but he went up before I could.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, I am Pastor Patrick . I am the Pastor of Tri-County United Methodist Church. I am pleased to say that I am the shepard of these fine people behind me and a congregation of good Christian law abiding members. Unfortunately, one of my flock has been targeted by a former minister, Avery Linden who set himself up as a judge against Kelly Lee Moore.

"He has attacked her several times in his bigoted war to further his agenda of hatred. He was shut down, but even in prison he has continued to attack her. As the Chairman of the Tri-County Church Council, I have failed in my duty to protect her."

Then I got up and hugged him, "No, you have not failed me, nor has Constable Sebastian. Linden has been using his visitation rights to maintain his hold on his followers. I am here to tell why he has been after me.

"I am genetically a male, but I have chosen to live as a female. My family and friends all support me. Only Linden and his followers are against me. The only reason for this press conference is because one of his followers leaked my identity to the public to cause a riot. Well, I will NOT let anybody cause harm to this hospital on my behalf. I have signed a document releasing the hospital from any responsibility in my treatment.

After the press conference, Constable Sebastian was able to place Linden into solitary and all of those that had visited him were all guilty of breaking the law and joined him in prison, thus ending the war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that my identity and safety had been assured, I could concentrate upon recovering from my suicide attempt. My enforced bed rest had combined with the bruising caused by medical intervention to weaken my muscle tone, leaving me tuckered out most of the time. It was after the sedatives were removed that I began to regain my strength.

I began to at first, walk with the assistance of a special walker that had two wheels on each of its four corners with brakes and a fold-down seat. It even had pedals that went to the rear wheels. Come to find out, Grandpa had built me a combination bicycle-wheelchair to aid in my recovery. I should have known that with his tendency to tinker with things, that he's have come up with it.

I was out and about, getting in my commute to the cafeteria where I took my meals to with me to eat. I just had to be with people, and the cafeteria met that need. I had become a fixture there, sitting by the fountain and reading my schoolbooks, that the table was unofficially dubbed Kelly's School.

~*~

I was eating lunch when Grandpa arrived, "Well Kelly, I see that your doing a whole lot better than when I saw you last time," he chuckled. ['She looks real good, almost like her old self. Soon, she will be well.']

I dropped my English book and ran over to him, "GRANDPA!! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!! WHERE'S GRANNY?" I exclaimed as I hugged him. He looked great in his red plaid shirt and overalls. [' I've missed his gentle good humor and quiet strength. He must've been daddy's role model.']

He kissed me on the forehead, "She's visiting her Gynaecologist here. She'll be here later. Right now, It's just us." ['Lord, It's been so lonely without her, but as long as she returns, it'll be well worth the wait.']

I smiled up at him and caressed his bewhiskered cheek, "I'm glad that you came Grandpa, I've missed your silly stories about the farm animals and their antics," I giggled mischievously. ['He made the farm come alive for me and gave me a love for the farm that I can never repay except to one day raise children to inherit the legacy.']

He chuckled at my very apt description of his none sense stories, "Well, if I hadn't of become a farmer, I'd have become a reporter, but the farm's call was too strong, so I have told my whoppers instead." ['I didn't have the opportunities that my children or Kelly has, or I'd have fulfilled that dream.']

Then I led him to my table, I sat down while he went to get us both a mug of cappuccino, "I see that they've labeled your table for you," he smirked. ['Kelly has that gift of encouraging others to perform acts of kindness. Yet she never abuses it.']

I picked up my dropped schoolbook and placed it on the table, "That's because I'm keeping up with my school assignments. I can't do anything about my gymnastics yet, but I will in time," I sighed in regret. ['I miss being so active.']

Grandpa took a sip of his cappuccino, "What about all of the walking and pedaling that you do? Doesn't that help out any?" ['Wait till she learns about my little surprise.']

I shook my head, then finished my delicious cake which I halved with him, "Oh it helps, but I need an exercise mat for my yoga and other disciplines that I'm neglecting." ['He doesn't know what I'm missing.']

"Well, I can bring you yours from home if you wish, but do you have your workout togs?" ['Seeing her jump all over the farm like a gazelle has been something that I cherish, especially when she wears those cute little skirts. She brings back memories of Terri when she was a cheerleader and of my Beloved Lizzie too.']

"That'd be swell Grandpa! I am getting all out of shape just laying here!" ['I wonder how much weight that I've gained? My panties are starting to feel a tad tight.']

Grandpa leered jokingly at me like Groucho Marx, "Frankly my dear, you look quite delicious to me as you are." ['DAMN! I sound like a letch! It's a good thing that she know that I'm joking around with her.']

I squealed in delight, "Grandpa you dirty old man! I am not on the menu today!" ['I can see everybody here gossiping about this now.']

"Too bad, the cafe would make a killing selling Kelly potpies." ['She does make a delicious potpie at that.']

"OK Grandpa, I know that you're here alone for some reason, now tell me because I know that you'd stay with Granny." ['If he thinks that he can pull the wool over my eyes, he has another think coming.']

"You're right, Granny is here in the beauty salon, getting her hair done. I am taking this time to be with you and make sure that my doodad is working." ['Now let's see if she can figure out what it is.']

Then it dawned on me where my walker had come from, "OH! So YOU'RE the one responsible for my transportation! I should've known that you'd have built it in your shop," I smirked. ['He tinkers as much as he farms.']

"Yep! I took the old bicycle frames frames and lawnmower wheels to make it. I would've added gears, but felt that they'd be a bit much," he grinned. ['I finally did something to alleviate my burden. I feel so free now.']

I finished my cappuccino and Grandpa took away the trash while I loaded my tray onto my walker, "Well Good Looking, let's get rid of my tray and go see Granny, I feel like getting the works today." ['There's nothing like getting pampered in a beauty salon to lift a girl's spirits up when she's down.']

Grandpa took my tray to the Tray Disposal Window, "OK, but YOU take it easy and ride. I want to see how well my contraption works for you," he gestured to my walker. ['Lizzie and Terri did well, but it was meant for Kelly.']

I sat in the seat and began pedaling away, "Catch me if you can, Big Boy!" I called out as I passed him. ['Wait'll Granny see me now!']

I zoomed to the beauty salon, only to find BOTH of my grandparents sitting out front, waiting for me. Granny looked very pretty in her floor length denim skirt and red blouse, "Say what? How did you beat me here Grandpa?"

"I took a shortcut through the back," he chuckled. ['It's always fun to pull a fast one on Kelly, especially when she doesn't see it coming.']

Then Granny hugged me, "Darling Kelly, we planned this outing today to treat our granddaughter to a day of being pampered as only a beauty salon can do. Joe wanted to see how you were doing with your gift that he made for you, he knows how much it is that you miss being active. And I miss our time in the kitchen. So, get ready, because we're gonna be spoiled while Joe sets up your room with your exercise equipment." ['She is so frail looking, but she is as tough as nails like her mother.']

"You lied Grandpa, you said that Granny was getting the works, not waiting for me, and you have my stuff here," I smirked. ['Guess that it's my day to be pranked by my grandparents, and I love it.']

"Well, I NEVER aid that she was IN the salon. only that she was here to get the works, and I still have to go get the stuff out of the truck," he grinned. ['I can see that she's considering some way to thank us, probably with a prank.']

I got out my mini-squirt-gun that I kept handy and got him right in the mouth, "OK Gramps, thanks for my ride and room," I giggled. [Wasn't expecting me to use such a childish prank, I bet.']

Granny giggled, "I see that she got you Joe, right in the mouth!" ['Good aim kiddo, he never saw it coming.']

"Well, I guess that's her way of saying thanks," he spluttered as he wiped his mouth. ['I see that she is aiming at Lizzie, Far be it for me to interfere with Kelly's fun.']

I aimed right at Granny's nose and let fly with my final squirt, the shot went up her nose, "Gotcha Granny! Ready for the spoiling now?" I asked mischievously.

"OK Kelly, guess you got us both."

We both were pampered as we were subjected to the special treatments that cleansed and rejuvenated our bodies. The fact that I was wearing my gaffe didn't matter. They had a gentleman there who tucked my boy bits in such a way that I looked like a girl, before he tucked, my groin was thoroughly treated though and released afterwards. I truly never have felt so decadent as when I was given a massage by the Swedish Masseuse Inga. She looked just like Sonya Henning, that Ice-skating star from yesteryear.

When we got through with our pampering, I found that Granny had gotten me a white skirted sailor-girl leotard with matching socks, shoes and taupe hose while she wore a denim skirt and peasant blouse with penny loafers. I got on my ride and went up to my room where Grandpa was waiting outside.

"Well, here are my beautiful wife and granddaughter. Can I be anymore blessed than I am to be graced with such wealth?" he announced with a twinkle in his eyes. ['That pampering did them both good.']

"Oh shush Joe, your making me blush, you flirt!" Indeed, Granny was was beet red and smiling at the attention. ['He still can get my heart racing with his smooth talking.']

I got up out of my ride and hugged him, "OK Grandpa, you wouldn't be out here unless you were through, may I see what you did?" ['Did he bring my favorite plushy? I've missed that old bird something fierce.']

I had a beautiful plushy eagle that daddy had given me before he died. It is a bald eagle done in patriotic colors. I've been using it as a pillow and confidant for years. This was the first time that I was away from 'Old Abe', my plushy.

He opened the door with a flourish and chuckled, "Open sesame my dear Kelly, your humble servant awaits thy edict." ['She always said that if she was a Princess or Queen that she'd not be a weak one, but more like Xena. And I believe her too.']

I giggled, "OK my servant, [giggle] Queen Xena shall see if you are worth keeping or sending to the dungeons." ['He's being silly. No doubt about it, he is recovering from his anger over my being here. But when will I have hope again?']

I entered the room and was impressed with what he'd done. Not only was my exercise mat there, but my ballet mirror/bar assembly as well as my weights and martial arts equipment. I looked in the nightstand and saw my collection of books and my laptop computer with internet access. Grandpa had truly made the room feel like home.

Granny stood by me, "He really outdid himself for you Princess. This is the most that he's done since you've left last week." ['Joe lost that spark like I did.We need Kelly to be whole Lord. When will that be?']

I turned and hugged both of them, "[sniff,sniff] Thanks Granny and Grandpa. [sniff,sniff] The beauty salon trip [sniff,sniff] and redoing my room makes my stay here [sniff,sniff] a lot more bearable," I wept as tears flowed freely down my face.

Granny kissed my tear wet cheek, "You're more than welcome my Precious Kelly. You have been a joy to have at the farm, and teaching you all about being farmer's wife was like having your mother Terri back home." ['It will be another tearful joy to see her move on, but she must spread her wings and fly.']

Grandpa kissed my other cheek, "It was my pleasure to build you your little ride and make your room like home. Debbie will be here after she gets through with school." ['Now she'll ask about school.']

"What about school for me? Am I still enrolled or must I now repeat the grade?" ['That'd be just desserts for what I did.']

"We'll let Debbie answer that since she is now your tutor. It's a good thing that you've kept up with your schoolwork," replied Granny.

"OK, I guess that she's been way too busy with school and her job to visit. When will she come by?"

Then I saw her come up silently behind my grandparents, she motioned for me to stay silent. Which I did because of my surprise. She looked stunning in her school uniform of white blouse, red blazer, blue skort, bloomers and shoes with suntan hose. I knew that my uniform replaced the blazer with a sweeter vest.

She hugged them, "Oh Kelly Girl,[giggle] I am here NOW for you. [giggle] I've been by before, [giggle] but you were asleep," she giggled. ['GOD! It's so good to see my niece up and about after seeing her practically dead in that living nightmare.']

"AUNTIE!! I'VE MISSED YOU SO TERRIBLY MUCH! IT'S SO GOOD TO SE YOU AGAIN!" I exclaimed as my grandparents opened their arms so that I could bear hug her. ['My confidant and strength in my troubled times.']

"[sniff,sniff] When I saw you dead to the world [sniff,sniff] after your suicide attempt, [sniff,sniff] I thought that I had lost you! [sniff,sniff] Seeing you alive and well is a balm to my soul, [sniff,sniff] " she cried. ['And NOW that nightmare is over and a new dream has dawned in my heart.']

I began to cry after I heard Auntie, "[sniff,sniff] I'm sorry Auntie,[sniff,sniff] but at the time, [sniff,sniff] I wanted to die [sniff,sniff] and end my suffering. [sniff,sniff] GOD let you return in time to save me. [sniff,sniff] Otherwise, [sniff,sniff] I'd be dead [sniff,sniff] and in Heaven with daddy.[sniff,sniff] " ['Nobody can understand my anguish, NOBODY!']

"Oh Kelly! If I had of gotten there in time, I could have told you about my experience with being betrayed! I know the feeling and so does your mother."

I felt a small, strong hand on my shoulder,"[sniff,sniff] I too know betrayal that made me despair, [sniff,sniff] but not to the degree that you despaired, [sniff,sniff] " wept Granny. ['I never thought that I'd ever talk about this, but I will for Kelly.']

Then an idea formed in my head, "Do we need to go to the Chapel Conference Room? Because I am assuming that Momma and the Woods aren't far behind," I smirked, knowing that I had caught them all in a big cover-up from the guilty looks on their faces. ['They can't keep a secret very well around me.']

Aunt Debbie spoke up first, "Yes, they'll be here later for dinner. I'm here to test you on your school subjects to see if you up to par with the curriculum while they go and see about off loading what furniture and such that they've got on the truck." ['I've never known of my parents to not make the most of a trip.']

We headed down to the Chapel Conference Room where Father Dowling and Sister Mary were the Resident Clergy for the week. The hospital scheduled the Clergy from the different Churches participating in the Chapel Program. There were Daily Morning and Evening Services with local choirs giving concerts on Saturday evenings. I had been here both as a singer, dancer and in the audience.

When I saw him outside the Chapel, I leaped out of my ride and jumped into his arms with a squeal of delight, "FATHER DOWLING! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHAPEL?!" ['He looks so much younger now than when we met years ago after daddy died.']

He smiled broadly and returned my hug, "Oh, I'm still there, I'm simply letting my apprentice have his chance while I serve here. Jerri Dowling deserves her chance." ['I never believed that I'd be graced with children.']

"YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT'S A PRIEST?! I THOUGHT THAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAD ONLY MALE PRIESTS!" ['Maybe my study of other churches is faulty, or is there something else going on here?']

"You are correct, I have twins by Sister Mary who chose to send our children to live with her parents. They grew up coming to my Chapel and when my son Mark became a Priest, my daughter became a Methodist Pastor." ['What a legacy You gave me Lord! Both of my children followed me into the Ministry.']

I felt Sister Mary hug me in true sisterly affection, "When we saw you and your mother, we thought about what a wonderful family you were, I had my own twins that my mother was raising. She knew that Peter was the father. It was then that we decided to let our children know the truth." ['Kelly helped me to see what a wonderful thing parenthood is and what we were giving up for the Church. That's why we are now separate from the Catholic Church.']

"Well, I think that you two did the right thing, what has the Church said about it?"

"They know only that I adopted a young boy and his sister and that they followed me into the Ministry. They want to admonish me for not encouraging Jerri to be a nun, but what can they really do? The Roadside Chapel belongs to the Stare and leased out to Woods Enterprises," he chuckled. ['I've never met my benefactor to thank them for their generosity. How I wish that I could.']

Then I saw a way to repay the Woods for their friendship, "Are you talking about Charles Woods?"

Sister Mary did the Cross over her heart and knelt to pray," Yes Kelly, Why do you ask?" he looked at me with hope in his eyes.

"Well, he just happens to be coming here today. He's my Godfather," I smirked.

"Is that why your family left you here?"

"I guess, so. Knowing them, they saw that we knew each other and are letting us have some private time."

Then momma came up and hugged me, "Yes Kelly, they did and now it's time for everybody to meet."

Meet we did. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and renewal as we gathered together to share our griefs and joys with one another. I was reacquainted with the gossip that I was ignorant of and the many oddities that made everybody unique.

Mister Woods had purchased several trailers and outfitted them as portable kitchens for helping out with natural disasters where safe food preparation was paramount as well as others loaded with supplies. His Disaster Relief Trailers have helped out throughout the nation, going into the forgotten areas devastated by Mother Nature.

Mrs. Woods had a few trailers outfitted as mini-hospitals and operating rooms. Under her supervision, the boy-scouts and girl-scouts both were trained in the latest first aid and CPR training and those with any medical training were kept up to date.

Julie organized the cheerleaders and dancers into volunteer help at hospitals and nursing homes, often working with the Humane Society by taking shelter animals to patients and working in the shelter to care for the unfortunate pets. She convinced her dad to cover the expense of their care and found a large warehouse to act as their new home.

My Sweet Johnny became the much needed Student Leader of the athletes that Coach was looking for. He led the school's Athletic Program into winning #1 Placement in every sport and was voted Student Leader in his Senior year.

Momma was able to organize other ladies and gentlemen form her own Secretarial/Catering Service through Mister Woods and take over as Manager/Vice-President of Woods Enterprises Catering Division. Now, it is a state-wide company with a certified degree in Business Management/Catering to help train others.

Aunt Debbie used her knowledge of theater and makeup to help her school to start performing plays and talent shows when Mister Phelps, the theater teacher retired. She also helped to publish the school weekly newspaper and yearbook.

Grandpa Joe sold or donated his carvings and tinkerings to the Disaster Relief Trailers of Mister Woods and won an award for Community Citizenship for doing the plumbing and electrical work on a block of apartment buildings made to house

Granny Lizzie donated all of her canned and freezer goods as well as her bodacious supply of quilts and such to supply the Disaster Relief Trailers that Mister Woods built. Now she has been set up to manage a small warehouse where she supervises the production of Disaster Relief Groceries.

Constable Sebastian was given brand new equipment and a new Headquarters to house the new Camera-Security System to help prevent crime and aid in Medical Emergencies. The system is mainly in the Business and School Districts with all streets monitored to help the citizenry, NOT to write tickets. He only intervenes when an accident occurs, much like Andy Taylor on the Andy Griffith Show.

Me, I still don't know what I'll be or what my future holds for me, but I do know that I have one, and that comforted me and let me sleep peacefully. My only regret is that it took my attempting suicide to come to this realization.

That night, after we went our separate ways, I listened to Bette Middler's 'The Rose' and thought about how very well the song fit me.

I now knew that their love had drowned the tender reed of my heart and cleansed it of my despair of Johnny's razor that caused my soul to bleed. Yes, my love for Johnny is an endless, aching need. But my love is a flower, my love for Johnny but a seed.

Right now, I'm afraid to love again, afraid of breaking in the dance of love. I'm afraid to dream of love, afraid to take the chance. I'm afraid for my heart to be taken, because I can not give. I died because I was afraid to live.

This night of no hope has been too lonely, the road too long. I know that love is for everybody, both weak and strong. And I have been promised that beneath the bitter snow of my winter, my heart's seed will in the renewal of the Lord's Healing will become a Rose.