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Kelly's Journey
Chapter 10-Exodus
By Stanman63
Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration!

Synopsis: Kelly and her mother attend a dinner party at the Woods where Johnny shows definite sexual interest in Kelly. After a tiff where Johnny and Kelly a dinner party at the Woods, Kelly and her boyfriend once again sate their passion. Afterwards, Kelly becomes confused about who she really is and her inability to resist loving Johnny, causing her to make a choice that changes everybody's lives.



* * *

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The next morning, Mom and I were dressed in a red dress, white hose and sandals. I drove us to the restaurant for breakfast. We were seated, and then I saw the Woods at another table with the County Commissioner and her family. County Commissioner Anita Barbara Russell was a true Southern Belle and a shrewd politician, too. She combined her Southern accent and drop dead gorgeous good looks into getting her way in the council meetings. I felt that we were lucky to have her.

Our meal was served and we ate in silence, almost finishing when they stopped at our table on their way out. Mister Woods looked a bit comical in his western outfit, "Morning y'all. We're having a barbecue later at our house; we'd like y'all to come. God, I look hokey in this getup, but Anita loves western style food and asked us to dress authentically today," he laughed as he held out his hands. ['Lord, Thank You for Anita. Without her help with the Tri-County Council, my business empire could never have grown as it has.']

"Thanks Chuck. We'd be delighted to come right Kelly?" [' County Commissioner Russell is infamous for her love of all things western, but I love her anyway.']

"Sure Mom. Mister Woods here makes the best barbecue in the world in his smoke pit even if he looks hokey in that getup," I giggled. ['The entire clan was in western theme clothing; Julie looked really cute in her Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader costume.']

Mister Woods patted me on the shoulder, "Thanks Kelly, you look very pretty; it's no wonder that Johnny likes you." [' So like Terri that only Terri's wedding ring gives her away.']

"Thanks Mister Woods," I blushed. [' I wonder, does he know that I fancy his son something rotten?']

"Kelly and I will bring over potato salad after we clean the house," Momma offered. ['Time for Kelly to learn some of the more mundane things about keeping a house up if she is to be a real housewife for Johnny.']

"What? What is she going on about? I was going to pal around with Julie after Church and work on my tan." [' Why did Momma do this?']

Momma patted my hand, "We need to switch over to the winter drapes honey. We need time to just be girls and alone, this will give us that chance, Besides, I have all those quilts to wash that we use as curtains and I want to put up fresh ones after Church." [' It will be hot and dusty, but Kelly will enjoy it once we get started what with my child's competitive spirit and all around good humor.']

Then I slapped my forehead, "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. We usually make a sport of it, to bad that Daddy ain't here, he's good at reaching the top of the window," I sighed. ['It's been so long since I thought about you, Daddy, please forgive me.']

Momma hugged me close, "Oh Kelly, I still miss Stu too after all these years. I'll NEVER find another one like your daddy," she wept. ['Lord, will I ever meet another like my Stu? Or am I to stay single? ']

Then we spent a few minutes remembering Daddy and how much we still love him. Then as Momma and I were getting up, Mister Woods took the check from the table, left a generous tip, and headed for the cashier. It was his custom to pay for any meal that he and his family ate in any of his restaurants. He refused to compromise the establishment's integrity by having them play favorites. He and his family were treated like any other customer.

"Hey! What are you doing Charlie? I can pay for our meal."

Mister Woods smiled, "Simply taking care of breakfast for you two, Terri. Now y'all get on to Church, we'll be along after we change for Church."

Momma pecked Mister Woods on the cheek, "Thanks Charlie."

Then Momma and I waited as the Woods changed in the restaurant's bathroom. When they came out, the guys were wearing suits and the girls wore matching blue skirt suits. We followed them to Church where Johnny was the Crucifer while Julie and I were Acolytes. It was a Methodist Church after all.

* * *

Oh, I guess that I need to tell you about my Church, our pastor, Patrick West is a former Catholic Priest who accepted the position of Pastor at Tri-County First Methodist Church. He was a young Priest, fresh out of Seminary, but there were no openings in the Catholic Church around here, so since he was led to pastor a Church here, he accepted the position here at Trinity. While he was here, he met Joanne White, a Seminary student working in the church. They fell in Love, and were soon married. Together, they rebuilt the church into a vibrant House of Worship.

As for Acolytes and Crucifer: the Acolytes, carry a special torch to light the candles while the Crucifer carries the Cross and places it in a stand up front. Then after the sermon, the Acolytes use the bell-shaped bowl on the torch to snuff out the candle while the Crucifer carries the Cross back to the back. We three have been doing this ever since we were old enough and always enjoyed our part of the Service.

But on special occasions, we also have Flag Bearers who will carry the American Flag and those of the military on Patriotic Holidays like Independence Day. Those services are when the patriotic songs are played, and instead of Scripture, we have a patriotic special. Where as, on Church Holidays, the special is related to the holiday. Out Music and Drama Department always have something ready. They have done A Christmas Carol, and plays based on the Rankin Bass holiday specials.

* * *

Then after Church, we went home where we cleaned the entire house. Momma and I pulled the curtains and drapes and put up fresh ones. We also shampooed the carpets with the help of Johnny and his strong back; we moved the furniture and operated the shampooer which he got a kick out of. We thanked him by keeping him supplied with lots of ice water that he glugged down, or poured on his head to cool off with. He was not a big fan of those sports drinks, since his mother made fresh squeezed fruit juices, But he did like 'V-8' and other all natural juices.

I got hot and sweaty and was all too ready to clean up for the barbecue. After I showered I donned my robe and went to my room and put on the padded bra and panty brief, then my hose. I looked pretty good as is. Johnny had already left.

Momma knocked on my bedroom door, "Kelly?"[This is a first, seeing if my daughter is decent. What a first, wonder what others there are in store for me?']

I looked up from where I was applying makeup, "Yes Momma?" [' I wonder what momma wants. Have we forgotten anything?']

"Are you decent?"[Is she tucking away her boy bits? Damn! I don't need to think about things like that.']

Then I got up and opened the door and curtsied to Momma, "Why yes, Momma, come in please."

Momma looked me over and smiled, "My Kelly, you look just like a teen girl getting ready for a party." ['Just like I did when dating you Stu, I am glad that I can think of you without tearing up my love.']

I closed the door behind her as she entered, Then I went over to my small wardrobe of girls clothes and held the closet door open, "Thanks Momma."Wotcha wanna wear a skirt, or shorts." ['Why am I acting like a model now?']

Momma pulled out a some red shorts and a blue sleeveless top, "Shorts." [' We still need to get Kelly some winter clothes.']

As I slipped the shorts and top on over my padded bra and panty brief and hose, Mom sat on the bed, "Kelly, please promise me that you'll talk to me before you do anything stupid. Like oral sex with Johnny." ['I still can't believe that my son is so much a girl. LORD, please give me the Wisdom that I need.']

I hugged Momma, "Momma, I'm going and I'll be myself. And no, don't worry, I won't do anything stupid." ['Well at least I will try, but I still want to hump Johnny. Please LORD, give me the strength to resist, or if I succumb, a way to deal with my passion.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "You did when you were with Johnny the last time, and you know it." ['I hate to remind her of her shortcomings, but she needs to be strong and resist her passions.']

Then I smiled and hugged her, "OK, Momma, I promise you, I will be careful."

* * *

Then she led me to her room where she put my hair into a ponytail. She changed into her shorts and top after she did her makeup. We made a dish of potato salad and walked to the Woods Manor House. Johnny saw us, and then came out, a smile on his face. Mom made the introductions, I nodded my head at Julie and she grabbed Johnny's elbow. The three of us walked to the pool, and I faced Johnny.

"Johnny, when I came up with Momma, you looked at me like I was a piece of raw meat. Did you like what you see?"[Was I in danger from my best friend now?]

He stared at me. I stood there, ready to fight or run, depending on what he did. "Johnny. I think you two have a lot to talk about," Julie said as she left us. ['It's time for those two too finally talk about their feelings.']

I stood in front of Johnny, legs spread with hands on hips, "Johnny, [sniff, sniff] I am still your best friend under all of this. [Sniff, sniff] Ever since that Halloween, [sniff, sniff] I have wanted to be a girl. [Sniff, sniff] You know that I have been doing this for years. Oh Johnny, I can't help it! I have to wear dresses to feel complete, no matter the cost," I wept. There, I had bared my soul to him; it was now up to him. He looked up at me, and I saw a tear in his eye! He stood there as I reached out and wiped it away as I wiped mine. I said softly, "I need you to be my friend now, more than ever. But if you can't, I'll understand," I sighed.

Then he bear-hugged me with his fierce strength, "Oh Kelly, You look like the girl of my dreams! To me, you are a dream come true. Tell me this, how can I not be your friend?"[How can I NOT love you?]

"Dreams? Can it be true?" [My Dream Lover?]

Johnny smiled sheepishly, "Ever since you were Tinkerbell that Halloween, I have wanted Kelly girl and no other. You know that I do not date a girl more than once. Well, that's because they are not you. Will you reject me Kelly?" [GOD, I hope not]

I led him over to a bench under an apple tree, "Johnny about last night." ['This is gonna be hard for me, but I have to do it.']

"What about last night?"[Please GOD, I love her! Will she now reject me after what we did after the game?']

I led him to sit on the bench and sat by him, "You are the boy of my dreams Johnny. I never dreamed that this was possible, but ever since Tinkerbell and that doctor, you've been in my dreams." [' Was I fated to meet that doctor? Why he did what he did to me I will never really know.']

"Is that why you did it?"

"Did what?"

"Gave me oral sex."

"Yes, I thought that I was ready, but I am not. As much as I enjoyed it, now I know I was not ready for you," I sighed. ['Will I ever be ready for Johnny, or am I to meet another, or is Julie really the one for me?']

Then Johnny knelt before me, "Neither am I, but I still love you. Even now, I want to ravish you here you are." [I sound like such a heel, but Kelly is my girl.]

"As Kelly boy or Kelly girl?" [DAMN!! WHY DID I SAY THAT JUST NOW??!!]

Then Johnny stood straight up with disgust in his eyes, "Both, Neither. I don't know!"[Sex with Kelly boy? NEVER!! Now I can't see it with Kelly girl.]

Then Johnny walked away from me. I had just turned him off of me it seemed. I wanted to rip my heart out for hurting him as I did. I loved him, but a part of me was scared of him too. Which part would win?

Then Julie came and sat by me. She hugged me to her as I wept bitter tears of regret. "I knew that you two needed to talk things out. I know things look bad now, but Johnny will be back in time." ['Poor Kelly and Johnny, they can't seem to do anything but hurt each other now.']

"I don't know Jules; he might not want me anymore, not after what just happened. And I wouldn't blame him either." [Sniff, sniff]

"Why is that my sister?" ['What did she do to cause my brother to run to his room?']

"I asked him if he was in love with Kelly boy or Kelly girl." [Sniff, sniff]

Then she slapped me, hard. "OW!" I rubbed my cheek where she slapped me.

"Kelly, that was dumb!! He loves you!! NOW he has to choose which he loves more!" she cried as she began to weep. ['I gave Kelly up for Johnny, now she has lost him. Can she get him back, or is my brother to meet another?']

"But Julie, I want to be Kelly girl, [sniff, sniff] not Kelly boy."

Julie kissed the cheek that she slapped, "Then I'll go tell him."

"Thanks sis."

"Anytime sis."

Then we powdered our noses to cover up all evidence of the tiff, but it didn't work, We headed back down to where the others were, minus Johnny when our revelry was interrupted, "I see that you girls have been crying just now, I hope that you two worked things out between yourselves." ['So much like Andrea, and I. I doubt that there any of Stu left in Kelly, unless it's her dedication.']

"MOMMA!!"

"Kelly, when Johnny came back crying, we knew that you had said something to upset him. And Julie would have taken up for her brother, so we knew that you two had a tiff."

"Yes, Momma."

Mrs. Woods stood by Momma, "Besides, we heard Julie slap you," admitted Mrs. Woods.

"I didn't slap her THAT hard Momma!!"

"True Jules, but we were snooping after Johnny left in a huff."

"Are you mad at me?"

Then Mrs. Woods hugged me close. "No dear child, you simply need to talk to Johnny later after Jules has given him your message."

"I'm going now."

Then Julie headed up to their house while we got the dinner ready. Momma and Mrs. Woods set out the plates and plastic-ware while I got out the chilled glasses and filled them with soda and placed the bottle of wine in the center of the table. It was only as we kids grew up that we got to have any spirits, we could get a sip or a taste. When we got into high school, we could have wine coolers at dinner, but only a small glass. This was different though. Tonight, we actually got a glass of wine to help celebrate Mister Woods opening of an annex to his Emporium, now he could sell those reconditioned appliances that were now as good as new in his store instead of out in the parking lot.

* * *

About this time, Aunt Debbie arrived at Father Downing's Chapel She stopped because she knew that they were my friends, and she needed some comfort as she was abbot to embark upon a new journey herself.

She got out of her car and was met by Sister Mary, "Greetings, welcome to the Rest Area Chapel."

"Thank you; I am Debbie Moore, Kelly's Aunt."

"Come with me, then. You're expected," she said as she headed toward the Chapel. ['So, Kelly has chosen.']

"Oh?"

"Yes, Terri called us last night about Kelly."

Then, Father Downing arrived from his office, "Yes, Are you here because of Kelly?"

She sighed, "I am. I am going to take her to live with me. "

"Why?"

"She can't control herself around Johnny."

She stayed there for lunch as they counseled her about me, calming her friends about being hurt by me.

* * *

After the barbecue, Johnny and I stayed out, talking, just the two of us. "This is the only time. After this I'm done with it."

"Why Kelly? is it because of what you said tonight?"

"Yes Johnny, I love you and I want to marry you, but I am a boy, not a girl and I don't want to hurt you again."

"I love you too Kelly, to me, you are all the girl that I need."

We shared a kiss, then our passion ignited again and I felt him stiffen. We embraced and we sated our passion once again. I took him once again in my mouth and tasted his musky sweetness as I drank in his climax.

"You might be a boy under that dress, but you are still my dream girl. How can I ever hurt you? How could I ever deny my love for you?"['Kelly is the only one that I have ever made love to.]

"How can you say that you love me? I am not woman?"[LORD, why could I not have been born a woman?]

"I don't know, all that I know is that I do. Believe me Kelly; I am as confused as you! You are, my best friend." [What can be done to relieve our heartache?]

"Oh Johnny, if only I were a woman for you, then everything would be different!!" Then I ran home and slammed the door with Momma close behind me. We had made love each other, but I was not a real girl. I had given myself to him twice now and now I am confused and empty.

Momma came and hugged me to her," Come sit here with me. We need to talk."

I sat, and then Momma smiled at me. "Johnny is a handsome young man and you're a pretty young lady that happens to be his best friend and a boy. He is attracted to you and you to him. Do you want to be a girl?"[I already know, but Kelly needs to give voice to her deep desire now, more than ever if she is to be helped in time.]

"Yes I do Momma, more than anything!! But how can I be a girl?"

[She never heard about how boys look like girls. All that she's done is play at being a girl al this time.] "Then it is time that you go and live with your Aunt Debbie. Time for my daughter to leave the nest and fly away now."

"Why Momma? I wanna stay with you."

"You need her help. You know how to dress as a girl, but when it comes to Johnny, you lose control. That's not the way to act as you have around Johnny. And you and Johnny need time way from each other."['It's hard for me to send you away, but I must to protect you from yourself.]

"I know, every time I am alone with him, I lose myself. If I were a girl, I would be pregnant. And truth to tell, I want to get pregnant, even though I know that I can't" [LORD, will I ever be whole?]

"Your Aunt Debbie will help you. Good thing I called her before the dinner tonight." [Knowing her, she's on her way right now.]

"Does she know about me?"

"Yes, and she wants to help you to be a woman too. I will miss you, but Debbie can help you better than I can and she has our parents there to help too."[Come to think of it, Kelly will enjoy herself since she loves Daddy's farm.]

"We need to tell Johnny. I will miss him most of all."[Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking.]

"We will as soon as Debbie arrives."[Debbie, take care of my most precious rose.]

"Don't I need to pack?"

"No, I packed all of your clothes as well as my old uniforms. Debbie will have fun shopping you too."[One thing and for sure, Kelly will give her shopping gene a real workout.]

Then the bell rang. "Let's go see who that is."

I opened the door and I saw a tall, strong woman standing there wearing a red sun dress and sandals. "Hello Kelly, come to your Aunt Debbie." Then she hugged me to her as I wept and soaked her dress with my tears of joy." I hear that you like a certain boy."

"Yes Auntie, I sniffed. [Had Momma told her everything?]

* * *

My Aunt Debbie Annette Moore is a tall lithe gray eyed brunette. She owns/operates a dress shop over in the valley. She loves to collect rare books. She has a library of books sold by the public library that she loans out while keeping her collection of first edition in her room. I have spent many a weekend in her library with the twins as we delved into the stories.

* * *

"Do you want to be a girl?"['Kelly is so like I was at his age.']

"Yes." [Sniff] Yes, I do, but how can I be a girl? I was born a boy."

"There are two way, you can wear appliances that give you a woman's appearance or you can opt for surgery. In both, you can choose whether or not to use hormones to help you become a woman."

"Which should I choose Auntie?"

"I think that it's best to leave your options open, so I say choose appliances. You can always go with hormones and surgery later."

"Then I choose appliances. That way I can still be Kelly boy at times."

"Very well, I can teach you what you need to know about being a woman, but do not go into this lightly Kelly."['I must make sure that he is ready to be a girl.']

"Why Auntie?"

"You must forget about being a boy if you are to be a girl. Otherwise people will see you as a boy in a dress. Like they did me that Halloween night when I became who I am."['That is one nightmare I hope to keep from happening to you.']

"But they have seen me wearing a dress at Halloween Auntie and they never had a problem with it."'

"They saw Kelly, a boy in a dress, not a girl, like my friends did me. Besides, you have yet to live exclusively as Kelly girl. They can and will turn against you."['Like my FRIENDS did me!!']

"Oh."

Then the Woods came up. "Hello, I am Mister Charles Woods; this is my wife Andrea, daughter Julie and son Johnny. We're worried about Kelly."

"Come in Chuck, we have a lot to tell you." sobbed Momma. ['This is gonna be harder than I thought.']

Rushing over to Momma, Mrs. Woods hugged her close, "What's wrong my friend?"

"It's Kelly, come on to the kitchen where I have sodas ready."['It's going to be hard because they all love Kelly so much.']

Then Momma led us to the kitchen where we all sat down to a tall, cool glass of soda. "As you know, Kelly has been dressing as a girl every now and then. Now, Kelly and Johnny have fallen in love and Kelly is afraid of losing himself to Johnny as a girl."

Then Momma turned to Johnny." Johnny, I don't blame you, you are both responsible. I know that you love her and have had sex with Kelly. She needs to learn how to control herself or both of you can get hurt."['Like Debbie was.']

"I never wanted to hurt Kelly, but she is the girl of my dream."['I actually said that?']

"Then give her a chance to grow." ['I can see why Kelly loves him now.']

"Yes ma'am. Will she ever come back to me?"

"Is Kelly going away?" asked Julie. Why must Kelly leave me? I will miss my sister."

"Yes, I am taking Kelly with me so that she can learn how to be a lady."['Away from here, she can grow into the rose that my sister sees in her.']

"But I have been teaching her all these years! Was I not good enough?"

"Be that as it may, I am going to teach her how to be herself and to be strong. You have indeed done a superb job, but Kelly now needs much more than you can teach her."['I truly wish that Kelly could stay, but leaving is unfortunately for the best.']

Then I went over to Johnny "I will miss you the most, but if I stay, I will lose myself in you," I wept as he held me to him.

"Then go my love with my blessings, he cried." He soaked my top with his tears as I drenched his with mine. But I needed to go or I would never learn to be strong. ['How can I live without her, I want to know?!!']

"Come child, it is time to go."['This is the hardest part for you, letting go, but you must in order to grow.']

As we left, I saw everybody crying as we pulled away and left my former life behind. I slept on the way to Aunt Debbie's place. She had put on some orchestra music, then she played Bette Middler's The Rose and I awoke crying as it ended. "Yes my child, we are both "The Rose."We have both been in our winter and now I will see that you blossom into your spring."

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The Rose

(as sung by Bette Midler)

Some say love it is a river

That drowns the tender reed.

Some say love it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger

An endless, aching need

I say love it is a flower

And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance.

It's the dream afraid of waking

That never takes the chance.

It's the one who won't be taken

Who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying

That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long.

And you think that love is only

For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter

Far beneath the bitter snow

Lies the seed that with the sun's love,

In the spring,

Becomes a

ROSE
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* * *

Kelly's Journey
Chapter-9-Decisions
By Stanman63
Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut and JennaFL for Proofing and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration!
Synopsis: After the game, Kelly discovers more about being a girl and her fear of being outed when her mother finally discovers her son is no more, when she sees Kelly and Johnny sating their passion. Confronting Kelly, she discovers the truth about Kelly girl and her part in bringing her to life. With her mother and friends, she finds out more about herself and the beginning of a journey beyond her wildest dreams


* * *
I did not realize it but my momma was home early and had seen me with Johnny and what I had done. She usually was at work until past midnight on the weekends. That was when the doctors the she worked for had their parties, which she hosted at night after running the offices during the day truthfully, we did not need the money, Daddy's pension, and stock portfolio guaranteed that we did not need to worry about paying bills. But Momma had joined the workforce in order to alleviate her grief over losing Daddy. But what she was NOT ready for was how feminine I had become without testosterone.

I had been chemically castrated by a doctor under the influence of my mortal enemy, linden. He had been apart of a psychological study by the school board to help determine if any student had any hidden needs, But this doctor, upon hearing about how I dressed as Kelly girl at times, chose to make it a reality. He prescribed blockers and hormones that were about to send me into a girl's puberty until the deception was discovered by our family doctor.

The outcome of that was the deceiving doctor was imprisoned for his crime, and died there under mysterious circumstances. Because of him, the Love that I had for Julie was transferred to her twin brother Johnny. I saw myself as a hetero girl in a boy's body, and as such, my love for Julie became that of a best friend-sister instead of a best friend-lover. But at the game, I had finally sated my passion for Johnny, only to have Momma see it.

* * *

Terri Moore: [' I can not believe what I have just seen. Kelly just had oral sex with his best friend Johnny Woods. The most amazing thing is that he was wearing one of my old cheerleader uniforms from when I went to the same school. Now I must deal with what just happened, does Kelly see himself as a girl now? THAT I must know to help my son.']

I stayed upon the swing, in a sweet daydream about me and Johnny being married until Mom pulled up, by then, it was too late to change, not that I would have wanted too. She came over to the swing and sat down. "Well, I finally get to see how I look in my Cheerleader uniform. You look very pretty." [' I will NOT let him know that I saw what happened as I drove up,']

* * *

What I did not realize at the time was that Julie had seen it too from the balcony outside of her room, ['I can not believe what I just saw! I never would have believed that my best friend Kelly would have given oral sex to my brother Johnny! I know that ever since Kelly was chemically castrated by that doctor, that he has lost that spark of love for me, but for him to have gone down on my brother is totally unheard of! But Kelly has shown some interest in Johnny, I guess that he has decided to be Kelly girl from now on! I know that my brother Johnny is ignorant about this, all that he knows is that he loves Kelly. Now he must decide if it is Kelly boy or Kelly girl that has taken his heart, I can only be there when things fall apart and help Kelly to really be a girl.']

* * *

I looked at Mom in a stupor. I was still groggy from my dream and I was out in the open too. Anybody could have seen me. "Uh..." ['What did she see? Did she see what I did with Johnny?']

Then she patted me upon my hosed knee, "Fear not my child, you're safe here in your yard." ['Don't want for Kelly to be afraid.']

* * *

Let me tell you about the Woods Estate. The Estate is four acres of woods enclosed within a ten foot tall brick fence with one foot high iron spikes on top. The only way in is the Main Gate made of wrought iron set up on rollers that ease the gate open or closed from either a switch in the cars, a keypad next to the gate on either side or from the Manor. The driveway circles to the front door, then to the back where the garage is located by the outdoor pool, patio, Playhouse, and Daddy' house, which is now the Guest House.

The trees in the back are evergreens that we cut down each year for Christmas and oaks for firewood. Poppa Woods has a company come out and cut down the trees when needed and when Christmas is over, the tree is mulched into chips for the compost pile. We would often go back under the trees and camp out during the summer, and the holidays. Poppa Woods kept a collection of woodland animals and birds there along with a well stocked pond filled with bass, catfish, and amphibians. Hi did it to honor Daddy's love of nature.

Daddy had grown up on a farm where he learned all about farming, and about the nearby woods. He was in the Boy Scouts and had achieved the rank of Eagle Scout before quitting when he chose his family over scouting. He went after those that had attacked his brother Brian, turning him into Aunt Debbie. But Constable Sebastian had convinced him to become a Police Officer, a duty that he fulfilled, giving his life to save an infant. That is why I am here, now.

* * *

['Why would she say that? Was there some thing wrong? Was she mad at me?'] "Are you mad at me Momma?"

Momma came and sat by me. She was wearing a red skirt suit with cream blouses and hose. She looked like a model for the perfect secretary, "No Kelly, she sighed."Ever since you have been dressing as a girl, you have only done it at the Woods or a costume party, never over here. I have always wondered why you never dressed as a girl for me." ['Kelly looks so much like I did when I was in high school that it's scary.']

"I never knew that I could," I began to weep. ['Have I wronged Momma all these years by not being Kelly girl for her? I never knew that she wanted Kelly girl.']

"Why?" ['Have I wronged my child all of these years without knowing it?']

Then I dried my eyes with a hanky that Momma handed me, "Even though you let me keep a few girls clothes, you never asked me to be a girl for you. I know that I would have been happy too, but you always seemed to be reluctant to see me as a girl. Why is that, Momma?" ['All that I have ever wanted was to share Kelly girl with her.']

[Sigh] "You're right Kelly! I have been so caught up in my work that I've let the Woods raise you. You see, I was scared to admit that you were more comfortable as Kelly girl than as Kelly boy. I so wanted for you to be more like Stu than me," she wept as she admitted her blunder to me. ['Oh Stu, have I blundered in letting our son be a girl? He is as natural as a girl that I can't see any of you in him. Has that doctor taken away our son and left us with a daughter?']

Momma had sacrificed so much for me that I can never repay. After Daddy died, she entrusted me to the Woods as she took every job that she could. She was finally able to land her current position has receptionist to several doctors. Her job also included hosting parties for them. This was why she spent many nights away from home. Yet, she always found time to be at the games that I was in. But due to unforeseen circumstances, she had to work tonight. If she hadn't we wouldn't be here.']

Then I hugged her to me as I to wept, "Momma, I know that you love me, you have been to all of my games and have given me so much that I was reluctant to hurt you. Can we do something as mother and daughter?" ['Lord, how can I make it up to Momma?']

Then, Momma wiped her eyes and smiled, "Well, I can now make up for the past to you now, if you like. In fact, there are many things that we can do as mother and daughter." [''Kelly ought to like this.']

Then I scratched my head in confusion, "How Momma? Julie and Mrs. Woods, and I do just about everything that girls do together. What will we do?" ['What can Momma do for me that Julie and Mrs. Woods haven't?']

Momma pointed at my outfit and smiled, "Shall I let you have all of my old Cheerleader and Dance uniforms?" she grinned at me. ['He's wearing one now, so why not? I have to admit that seeing her in my old stuff will be something else.']

"Momma, I know from the photos on the mantle that you were a Cheerleader, but I never saw any of you on the Dance Team. Any of a girl in a Dance Team outfit is at Granny's." [' What else about Momma will I learn tonight? What will Momma learn about me, tonight?']

* * *

We had never had a talk about anything. I had always gone to Mrs. Woods before. Now Momma was ready, and so was I. I wanted to talk to Momma as her daughter; I no longer felt that I was her son. I knew that Daddy accepted me as a girl, but not if I was to transition into a girl. THAT I was not sure of, yet. I did not know if transitioning was right for me. As much as I hated to admit it, linden's poison was still making me doubt myself.

* * *

"Yes Kelly, those are pictures of your momma. Stu was so handsome that I wanted to cheer and dance for him, I was lucky that I found him." ['Hopefully, my daughter Kelly will find the same love in Johnny.']

"Cheer AND Dance? I never thought about you on the Dance Team even after seeing the photos on the mantle, I thought they were Granny's. And Granny would look good in those outfits even now. I wonder if she and Grandpa still snuggle." ['I hope so. I'd hat to think that they DON'T have any fun.']

"Yes, those Cheerleader uniforms are from my junior high school days and high school. I was on the Dance Team & Drum Major in my senior year in high school. I guess that you never paid attention to the year. I'd have thought that you'd have known, but I guess that you wanted to see your Granny, not me in those uniforms," she smirked. ['Come to think about it, Daddy would love it too.']

"Well, you have to admit that we three look alike except for the hair. I guess that we were blessed with good looks. Am I being egotistical about my looks are what?" ['I can't help it! I have to poke fun at us. We could easily pass as each other.']

Then Momma smiled wickedly, "Kelly, your Granny was in high school when miniskirts came out. With her being on the Cheer squad, she became quite popular because guys got to see her bloomers. My momma really let me know about boys and their predilection with hosed legs when she gave me the talk about sex. That's why I never have bought anything but regular undies, no g-strings for me." ['I'm glad that Andrea never went for them either. And Julie doesn't like them either.']

Then I smirked, "I know how that is. Going to Ronzi's as Kelly girl sure was an education in its way," I giggled. ['It was there that I truly became Kelly girl.']

"Oh?" Just what have you been doing that I don't know about as Kelly girl? And should I be worried that my son has such experience?" Momma smiled. ['This ought to be good. Not every boy knows what girls go through.']

"I've had my butt pinched more than once when dressed like this," I said as I lifted my skirt to show my bloomer. But don't worry Momma, My friends didn't do it, only strangers, but will you appreciate the distinction, Momma? ['At least when I was pinched, my friends would stop it.']

* * *

Then we both broke out laughing at the memories we had of guys and their roaming hands. I never thought of my momma being a teen girl until then. To me, she had always been an adult. But that is how any child sees their parents. To me, I see Daddy as he was the last day that I saw him alive. Oh, I have added a few gray hairs on his temples to show his wisdom in a few dreams, but he is mostly seen as that young vibrant man that I knew as a toddler.

* * *

Then Momma got serious again, "Kelly, how many know that you dress as a girl? Dear God, please not the entire school!!" ['If that's the case, then linden can hurt my child.']

Then I shrugged, "Practically the entire school. Why?" They haven't done anything mean about me being Kelly girl. In fact, some ask me to be Kelly girl." ['I hope that chills Momma's fear.']

Then Momma hugged me to her, "There are those that would hurt you if they ever found you alone, that's why. I have been accosted when wearing my uniforms before. Luckily, nothing happened because I knew how to defend myself. But it will be much worse with you, Kelly if you are attacked as Kelly girl. If you are ever discovered, they might kill you."

Then I thought about that defrocked preacher and shivered in fear of his hatred, "I know about them Momma, but I'm always with somebody. Well, except for tonight, and they don't know the code, so I was safe, here."

"You weren't for a bit. You were here all alone wearing that uniform and were day dreaming. What if they had known the code and it hadn't of been me?" ['I hate to burst his bubble, but they can get in if they tried hard enough.']

Then I looked Momma in the eye, "Then they'd not have gotten in. The Estate's Security only lets the Woods and us in. Why are you doing this, Momma? Am I being silly to trust the Estate's Security?"['Is there another reason for her attitude?']

"True, but what if they were forcing one of us to let them in?'I hate to admit it, but that is the only weakness in the system." ['Will she see the safety back up?']

Then I pulled away from her in anger at her continuing disrespect, "Momma, do you not think that everybody trying that would be gassed then? All that we have to do is NOT give the all clear signal. Mister Woods has made sure about those things. He has the best security he can get. He had it installed to protect us after Daddy died. Sometimes I wonder why he went to such extremes, but I am thankful for his dedication to our safety" ['It's kept us from using the Estate for partying when we kids were alone, but only the adult can reset the security parameters.']

Then Momma hugged me to her, "Oh Kelly, you're right. Being a mother means worrying about your children. When your Father died, YOU kept me sane. I couldn't leave you alone in the world. When you were in my belly, I thought that I was giving birth to a girl, now it looks like I really did. Your father wanted a son like him, but when he saw you, he forgot about that. Kelly, it's too bad that Stu and never had another child, but we tried and failed. And did we ever try! I think that if you'd spent the night with Julie and Johnny, you'd have a brother, or sister."

Then I snuggled up to her, "Momma, are you saying that you like me as a girl? I feel comfortable as a girl, should I become a girl for real?" [Will she accept me as a girl?']

"Yes I do my child, I want for you to be happy. Since you've chosen to be a girl for the night, follow me and I'll give you my old cheer and dance uniforms. I even have my Mom's old cheer and dance stuff. She gave it to me when I went into cheer and dance. I never thought that I'd be given you these uniforms. I thought that it'd be Julie some day." ['She is about our size, just like her mom, Andrea.']

* * *

Then Momma led me to the Woods Manor and into the spare rooms where she had her trunks. There were several trunks filled with her old uniforms, they were all sealed up in a plastic bag from the cleaners. As we perused her collection of uniforms, I saw that quite a few were very glitzy with spangles and glitter. Not only were there a bunch of uniforms for cheer and dance, there were also handmade costumes from vintage TV shows and movies. If I'd had access to this treasure trove before now, I'd have been an even bigger hit at Halloween and on Career Day at school. There were even old packages of vintage pantyhose and tights still in their brown paper bags.

* * *

As I held up one that was a red woman's uniform from Star Trek, I was amazed at the collection, "WOW! Then you have a whole bunch of stuff." [Giggle] "Even costumes from Star Trek, my favorite show. No wonder I love that show, you sure do. Momma. Maybe we can get together a group and form a landing party," I giggled. [I doubt that she'll go for that.']

Then I saw Momma holding up a cute sailor girl style skirted leotard up to her neck, "Yes, but only the Pep Rally uniforms are really for daily wear, everything else is too glitzy, or you can wear them skating or dancing. And sorry, no landing parties, at least until Halloween." ["I used to do just that when ice or roller skating with Stu.']

"Oh Momma, I just giggled instead of laughing!! Am I turning into a girl?" ['Should I be worried or is it just that I'm dressed like this I wonder.']

Then Momma dropped the uniform and led me over to a mirror, "Kelly, tell me what are you wearing?" ['Time to comfort Kelly's fears on being a girl now.']

I fingered the waist where there was a belt, "One of your Cheerleader uniforms." ['If we were to wear identical uniforms, no one could tell the difference.']

"Do Cheerleaders giggle or laugh?" ['OK, I know we mainly cheer, but that's NOT my point.']

"They uh giggle, but they mainly jump around and shake their pom poms." ['Julie always looked cute doing that in my book.']

Momma then turned me to look at her, "Then do not worry about it, you were just being a girl."['There, that should do it, I hope.']

"But I am a boy, not a girl!" ['At least I was a boy before that DAMNED doctor got a hold of me.']

"A boy in a dress Kelly." ['I hate having to deflate his ego, but he needs to face reality now.']

"Oh. That hurt, Momma. ['Why did she do that to me?']

* * *

Here I was, dressed as a girl, because in my Heart, I was a girl. It had begun back when Daddy had died, but for me became my reality when I was chemically castrated. Until then, I was being Kelly girl for the fun of it. I had been in Love with my girlfriend, Julie, but knowing that I could NEVER give her any children, I fell in Love with Johnny. Now, I know that it was the hormones flooding my brain. Perhaps, if I had had the counseling that I didn't know that I needed, I could have actually chosen Julie. But THAT, I will never know.

* * *

"Kelly, I did not mean to hurt you, but you make such a pretty girl right now that I do not see a boy. Oh, Kelly, you are so innocent that I have to be extra gentle with you. I don't know where your dressing as a girl will lead, so I must be ready to help you, my child to discover exactly who and what you are inside." [''Lord, I need Your Wisdom, and Strength. Please, help my child Kelly to find out who she/he is.']

Then I smiled, "Thanks Momma. It's nice that you see me as a girl right now, but do I really make a good boy like Johnny?" ['Lord, If not for the castration, would I be as big as Johnny?']

She sighed, "Of course I see you as a girl, silly! How can I NOT when you're dressed as you are? As for Johnny, YOU tell ME how good he is, KELLY GIRL!" she laughed. ['This ought to be good! I wonder if she'll tell. DAMN! Here I am, calling Kelly a girl. I guess that I've accepted her, then.']

"MOMMA! YOU SAW! WHAT DO YOU THINK!?" I exclaimed.

She hugged me, "That Johnny is your First Love, just as Stu was mine. I hope that like me, he is your only Love." ['Lord, will she also suffer a broken Heart? I'd do anything to protect her.']

I kissed Momma on the cheek, "Thanks, Momma. I needed to hear that."

"What is your girl name? 'I do hope that you chose another name for your girl self or things could get bad for you if you ever get outed." I must be sure that 'Kelly girl' is not a way of referring to her girl mode.']

"Kelly Lee, like my boy name, Momma. Why do you ask? After all. Everybody in school and Ronzi's knows about me being Kelly girl." ['Does she not know that the Woods approve of Kelly girl?']

Momma sighed in resignation. "Damn!! I should have been involved long ago and not have given up my duty. It's too late now. When did it all start?" ['Well, Lord,

At least Andrea and Chuck were there for my daughter.']

"Back in the first grade when I went as Tinkerbell to the Halloween party. I am surprised that you had to ask." ['Why did she ask?']

"I am sorry Kelly, if I had known back then that you would be doing this now, I would have given you another girl name or tried to stop you. But now I know that stopping you would not have worked. And even though I know about you being Tinkerbell, I was not sure if that was the case." ['I wonder why the Woods didn't think about it either.]

Then I hugged Momma, "It's alright Momma, Julie and Johnny know. In fact, if you remember, Julie has let me borrow her shorts and tops at times, as well as Johnny. It all started so that I wouldn't have anymore nightmares about Daddy's death." [' Best to remind her.']

"Yes, I do remember that, Kelly. It's just that I thought that it'd have been later, when that nut job gave you those hormones." ['No wonder, it started when they were all kids.']

"No, Momma. That simply decided my gender."

"And Johnny likes you as a girl?" ['I can see that Kelly has feelings for Johnny as if he was a girl.']

Then I blushed, remembering how I had oral sex with him, "Very much Momma. Is being Johnny's girl such a bad idea to you, Momma?" ['Lord, I HOPE not!']

Momma smiled, "Kelly, to me, Johnny is a very good choice for you."

"Thanks, Momma!"

"How far have you gone with him?'Have you given yourself away sexually to your best friend, Johnny beyond oral sex? If so, what does it mean to you?'" ['Are they gay? DEAR LORD!! I need to know.'']

"I had oral sex with him. That's all, Momma. And I still remember the taste too." ['Is that normal, Lord?']

"How often?" And it sounds as if you two had normal hetero sex." [DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR THAT!!]

"Just the one time."

"When?"['THANK GOD!! Maybe there's time to save them both from folly.']

"Tonight."

['At least Kelly was a girl, that means that he sees himself as a girl when he wears a dress, not a boy when he has sex, but still..'] "Was this the first time for you to wear one of my Cheerleader uniforms?"['Is it wearing my uniforms that does it? Or is it any girls uniform?']

"Yes, Momma. Why do you ask?"

"Kelly, Cheerleaders do not have wanton sex!!" ['I have to nip this in the bud before they both get hurt!!']

"But Momma, it was not wanton, it was beautiful." ['I can still remember it.']

"Did he force you?" ['Dear LORD, I hope not.']

"No Momma, I wanted to do it, in fact, I was in charge." [Sniff]

"Kelly, now you know that sex can be wonderful, but you can also get into trouble too." ['I really hate having to do this to Kelly, but it's needed.']

"Momma, I am a boy under all of this, I CAN'T get pregnant." ['That's one thing I really regret about being a boy.']

"True, but you can get sick from unprotected sex."[GOD!! I never thought that I'd ever have THIS talk with Kelly, at least not in this context.']

"Do you mean AIDS? I know that Johnny is safe; he does not go for wanton sex. In fact, until tonight, he was a virgin, like me."

"Yes and other things as well. Have they not covered this in Health?" ['Like so many other parents, I've foolishly relied upon the school to teach him.']

"I do not know, I take it in Health next semester." ['I'm getting tired now. What does Momma want to do now?']

Then Momma looked at her watch, "Well, it's getting late, Kelly. Let's continue this tomorrow." ['I'm getting tired and I suspect that Kelly is too, from the way that he keeps nodding off. Now to see if I have a son or a daughter tonight. I'll let Kelly decide which.']

"Want me to sleep as a boy or a girl?" [' I hope as a girl.']

['He looks as comfortable as a girl that he needs to explore what it's like being a girl around me now.'] "I have an old Wonder Woman Underoos set, want to wear that?" ['So, I will have a daughter tonight and possibly tomorrow. Now it's time to see just how much of a girl that he wants to be come tomorrow. I will support him in whatever he chooses, just as Daddy did for my sister Debbie years ago.'']

"Sure Momma, but should I keep my hose on? Please say yes." ['I don't know why, but I like hose in bed, just like Julie.']

"Well, since Linda Carter wore hose as Wonder Woman, why not?" Momma giggled. "I remember wearing hose to bed as a girl and how good it felt that I still do it, besides Kelly, you evidently likes it from your question." [' Momma thought that I was silly to wear hose to bed until she did; now she does it to and I know that Grandpa loves it too.']

"Yeah Momma, I do." Then stepping into my Mom's room, she handed me a red top, and blue star spangled bloomers. When I went to don them, I saw that I looked like Wonder Woman minus the lasso. So I donned a pair of red knee hi socks and went to show Momma. Knocking upon her door, she opened it and I saw that she was wearing a red top and shorts as well as hose.

"Well Wonder Woman, ready for bed? You just need the Tiara." ['Well, Kelly really needs black hair, but I'm NOT gonna hide her ginger hair.']

"Yes Momma."['It's great that you understand about sleeping in pantyhose.']

"We have a lot to talk about tomorrow."['Kelly is so innocent and beautiful, like a rose. Can I keep Kelly innocent in the days to come or will my rose wither away?]

Then, stepping over to me, she kissed my cheek and we hugged. I was glad that we were finally talking. It had taken way too long. "Good night Kelly, remember that I love you. It's like looking in a mirror when I see you."

"I love you too Momma."['What tomorrow will hold for me?']

* * *

Then Momma went to her room and I went to mine, letting the Woods sleep. But Momma called Pastor Pat about me, first.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need Pa? This is Joan."

"No, I need to talk to you sis."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with my nephew?" ['Surely he hasn't got into trouble, but why else would Terri call me?']

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"DAMN! Will he be here, Sunday? Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it. And as for Sunday. I don't know yet."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will I, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks Pat."

* * *

Then Momma called Father Downing.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need Mary? She is baking some cookies.."

"No, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with that rascal?"

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"LORD HAVE MERCY! I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

Mary picked up, "Terri, I heard the yelling, Is it true? Kelly did it?"

Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, Mary. I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, Father. I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will we, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks, you two."

* * *

Then momma called Aunt Debbie that night before she went to bed.

"Hello. Who is it?"

"This is your sister Terri."

"Hi Terri, Why are you calling so late? Need momma or poppa?"

"No, I need to talk to you sis."

"Sure, what about?"

"Kelly."

"Oh, what's wrong with my nephew?" ['Surely he hasn't got into trouble, but why else would Terri call me?']

"Kelly went to a high school football game wearing one of my cheerleader uniforms tonight."

"And he did it without asking?"

"No, he asked and I let him. It was what he did AFTER the game that has me worried."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He had oral sex with Johnny Woods."

"DAMN! Will he be here, Sunday? Was he forced?"

"No, in fact, he volunteered to do it. And as for Sunday. I don't know yet."

"And you are worried about how Kelly sees who he really is."

"Yes, I wonder if he is gay or wants to be a girl."

"Will you support him whatever he chooses?"

"Yes, I will NEVER abandon him."

"Neither will I, nor your parents. You know that."

"I know, I just had to call and talk."

"That's OK; I will let the church know to pray for you and Kelly."

"Thanks Sis."

Kelly's Journey
Chapter 8: Exodus

By Stanman63

Edited By Nora Adrienne with Special Thanks To Terry Naut
and to Heather Rose Brown for the Illustration!

Kelly and her mother attend a dinner party at the Woods where Johnny shows definite sexual interest in Kelly. After a tiff where Johnny and Kelly a dinner party at the Woods, Kelly and her boyfriend once again sate their passion. Afterwards, Kelly becomes confused about who she really is and her inability to resist loving Johnny, causing her to make a choice that changes everybody's lives.
Three_Friends.jpg




The next morning, Mom and I were dressed in a red dress, white hose and sandals. I drove us to the restaurant for breakfast. We were seated, then I saw the Woods at another table with the mayor and her family. Our meal was served and we ate in silence, almost finishing when they stopped at our table on their way out.

Mister Woods looked a bit comical in his western outfit, "Morning y'all. We're having a barbecue later at our house, we'd like y'all to come. God, I look hokey in this getup, but the mayor loves western style food and asked us to dress authentically today," he laughed as he held out his hands.

"Thanks Chuck. We'd be delighted to come right Kelly?" [' Mayor Russell is infamous for her love of all things western, but I love her anyway.']

"Sure Mom. Mister Woods here makes the best barbecue in the world in his smoke pit even if he looks hokey in that getup," I giggled. The entire clan were in western theme clothing, Julie looked really cute in her Dalla Cowboys Cheerleader costume.']

Mister Woods patted me on the shoulder, "Thanks Kelly, you look very pretty, it's no wonder that Johnny likes you." [' So like Terri that only Terri's wedding ring gives her away.']

"Thanks Mister Woods," I blushed. [' I wonder, does he know that I fancy his son something rotten?']

"Kelly and I will bring over potato salad after we clean the house," momma offered. [' Time for Kelly to learn some of the more mundane things about keeping a house up if she is to be a real housewife for Johnny.']

"What? What is she going on about? I was going to pal around with Julie after Church and work on my tan." [' Why did momma do this?']

Momma patted my hand, "We need to switch over to the winter drapes honey. We need time to just be girls and alone, this will give us that chance, Besides, I have all those quilts to wash that we use as curtains and I want to put up fresh ones after Church." [' It will be hot and dusty, but Kelly will enjoy it once we get started what with my child's competitive spirit and all around good humor.']

Then I slapped my forehead, "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. We usually make a sport of it, To bad that daddy ain't here, he's good at reaching the top of the window," I sighed. ['It's been so long since I thought about you daddy, please forgive me.']

Momma hugged me close, "Oh Kelly, I still miss Stu too after all these years. I'll NEVER find another one like your daddy," she wept. [' Lord, will I ever meet another like my Stu? Or am I to stay single? ']

Then we spent a few minutes remembering daddy and how much we still love him. Then as momma and I were getting up, Mister Woods took the check from the table.

"Hey! What are you doing Charlie?"

Mister Woods smiled, taking care of breakfast for you Terri. Now y'all get on to Church, we'll be along after we change for Church."

Momma pecked Mister Woods on the cheek, "Thanks Charlie."

Then momma and I waited as the Woods changed in the restaurant's bathroom. When they came out, the guys were wearing suits and the girls wore matching blue skirt suits. We followed them to Church where Johnny was the Crucifer while Julie and I were Acolytes. It was a Methodist Church after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Oh, I guess that I ned to tell you about my Church, our pastor is a former Catholic Priest who accepted the position of Pastor at Tri-County First Methodist Church. He was a young Priest, fresh out of Seminary, but there were no openings in the Catholic Church around here, so since he was led to pastor a Church here, he accepted the position at Trinity.

As for Acolytes and Crucifer: the Acolytes, carry a special torch to light the candles while the Crucifer carries the Cross and places it in a stand up front. Then after the sermon, the Acolytes use the bell-shaped bowl on the torch to snuff out the candle while the Crucifer carries the Cross back to the back. We three have been doing this ever since we were old enough and always enjoyed our part of the Service.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Then after Church, we went home where we cleaned the entire house. Momma and I pulled the curtains and drapes and put up fresh ones. We also shampooed the carpets with the help of Johnny and his stong back moving the furniture and operating the shampooer which he got a kick out of. We thanked him by keepng him supplied with lots og ice water.

I got hot and sweaty and was all too ready to clean up for the barbecue. After I showered I donned my robe and went to my room and put on the padded bra and panty brief, then my hose. I looked pretty good as is. Johnny had already left .

Momma knocked on my bedroom door, "Kelly?"[This is is a first, seeing if my daughter is decent. What a first, wonder what others there are in store for me?']

I looked up from where I was applying makeup, "Yes Momma?" [' I wonder what momma wants? Have we forgotten anything?']

"Are you decent?"[ Is she tucking away her boy bits? Damn! I don't need to think about things like that.']

Then I got up and opened the door and curtseyed to momma, " Why yes Momma, come in please."

Momma looked me over and smiled, "My Kelly, you look just like a teen girl getting ready for a party." [' Just like I did when dating you Stu, I am glad that I can think of you without tearing up my love.']

I closed the door behind her as she entered, Then I went over to my small wardrobe of girls clothes and held the closet door open, "Thanks Momma."What'cha wanna wear a skirt, or shorts." ['why am I acting like a model now?']

Momma pulled out a some red shorts and a blue lsleeveless top, "Shorts." [' we still need to get Kelly some winter clothes.']

As I slipped the shorts and top on over my padded bra and panty brief and hose, Mom sat on the bed, "Kelly, please romise me that you'll talk to me before you do anything stupid. Like oral sex with Johnny." ['I still can't believe that my son is so much a girl. LORD, pleese give me the Wisdom that I need.']

I hugged momma, "Momma, I'm going and I'll be myself. And no, don't worry, I won't do anything stupid." ['Well at least I will try, but I still want to hump Johnny. Please LORD, give me the strength to resist, or if I succumb, a way to deal with my passion.']

Momma cupped my chin in her hand, "You did when you were with Johnny the last time, and you know it." ['I hate to remind her of her shortcomings, but she needs to be strong and resist her passions.']

then I smiled and hugged her, " OK momma, I promise you, I will be careful."

Then she led me to her room where she put my hair into a ponytail. She changed into her shorts and top after she did her makeup. We made a dish of potato salad and walked to the Woods Manor House. Johnny saw us, then came out, a smile on his face. Mom made the introductions, I nodded my head at Julie and she grabbed Johnny's elbow. The three of us walked to the pool, and I faced Johnny.

"Johnny, when I came up with momma, you looked at me like I was a piece of raw meat. Did you like what you see?"[Was I in danger from my best friend now?]

He stared at me. I stood there,ready to fight or run, depending on what he did. "Johnny. I think you two have a lot to talk about," Julie said as she left us. [' It's time for those two too finally talk about their feelings.']

I stood in front of Johny, legs spread with hands on hips, "Johnny, [sniff, sniff] I am still your best friend under all of this. [sniff, sniff] Ever since that Halloween, sniff, sniff] I have wanted to be a girl. [sniff, sniff] You know that I have been doing this for years. Oh Johnny, I can't help it! I have to wear dresses to feel complete, no matter the cost," I wept. There, I had bared my soul to him, it was now up to him. He looked up at me, and I saw a tear in his eye! He stood there as I reached out and wiped it away as i wiped mine. I said softly, "I need you to be my friend now, more than ever. But if you can't, I'll understand," I sighed.

Then he bear-hugged me with his fierce strength, "Oh Kelly,You look like the girl of my dreams! To me, you are a dream come true. Tell me this, how can I not be your friend?"[How can I NOT love you?]

"Dreams? Can it be true?" [My Dream Lover?]

Johnny smiled sheepishly, "Ever since you were Tinkerbell that Halloween, I have wanted Kelly girl and no other. You know that I do not date a girl more than once. Well, that's because they are not you. Will you reject me Kelly?" [GOD, I hope not]

I led him over to a bench under an apple tree, "Johnny about last night." [' This is gonna be hard for me, but I have to do it.']

"What about last night?"[Please GOD, I love her! Will she now reject me after what we did after the game?']

I led him to sit on the bench and sat by him, "You are the boy of my dreams Johnny. I never dreamed that this was possible, but ever since Tinkerbell and that doctor, you've been in my dreams." [' Was I fated to meet that doctor? Why he did what he did to me I will never really know.']

"Is that why you did it?"

"Did what?"

"Gave me oral sex."

"Yes, I thought that I was ready, but I am not. As much as I enjoyed it, now I know I was not ready for you," I sighed. ['Will I ever be ready for Johnny, or am I to meet another, or is Julie really the one for me?']

Then Johnny knelt before me, "Neither am I, but I still love you. Even now, I want to ravish you here you are." [I sound like such a heel, but Kelly is my girl.]

"As Kelly boy or Kelly girl?" [DAMN!! WHY DID I SAY THAT JUST NOW??!!]

Then Johnny stood straight up with disgust in his eyes, "Both, Neither. I don't know!"[ Sex with Kelly boy? NEVER!! Now I can't see it with Kelly girl.]

Then Johnny walked away from me. I had just turned him off of me it seemed. I wanted to rip my heart out for hurting him as I did. I loved him, but a part of me was scared of him too. Which part would win?

Then Julie came and sat by me. She hugged me to her as I wept bitter tears of regret. "I knew that you two needed to talk things out. I know things look bad now, but Johnny will be back in time." ['Poor Kelly and Johnny, they can't seem to do anything but hurt each other now.']

"I don't know Jules, he might not want me anymore, not after what just happened. And I wouldn't blame him either." [sniff, sniff]

"Why is that my sister?" ['What did she do to cause my brother to run to his room?']

"I asked him if he was in love with Kelly boy or Kelly girl." [sniff, sniff]

Then she slapped me, hard. "OW!" I rubbed my cheek where she slapped me.

"Kelly, that was dumb!! he loves you!! NOW he has to choose which he loves more" she cried as she began to weep. ['I gave Kelly up for Johnny, now she has lost him. Can she get him back, or is my brother to meet another?']

"But Julie, I want to be Kelly girl, [sniff, sniff] not Kelly boy."

Julie kissed the cheek that she slapped, "Then I'll go tell him."

"Thanks sis."

"Anytime sis."

Then we powdered our noses to cover up all evidence of the tiff, but it didn't work, "I see that you girls have been crying just now, I hope that you two worked things out between yourselves."

"MOMMA!!"

"Kelly, when Johnny came back crying, we knew that you had said something to upset him. And Julie would have taken up for her brother, so we knew that you two had a tiff."

"Yes momma."

"Besides, we heard Julie slap you," admitted Mrs. Woods.

"I didn't slap her THAT hard Momma!!"

"True Jules, but we were snooping after Johnny came back."

"Are you mad at me?"

Then Mrs. Woods hugged me close. "No dear child, You simply need to talk to Johnny later after Jules has given him your message."

"I'm going now."

Then Julie headed up to their house while we got the dinner ready. Momma and Mrs. Woods set out the plates and plastic-ware while I got out the chilled glasses and filled them with soda and placed the bottle of wine in the center of the table. It was only as we kids grew up that we got to have any spirits, we could get a sip or a taste. When we got into high school, we could have wine coolers at dinner, but only a small glass. This was different though. Tonight, we actually got a glass of wine to help celebrate Mister Woods opening of an annex to his Emporium, now he could sell those reconditioned appliances that were now as good as new in his store instead of out in the parking lot.

After the barbecue, Johnny and I stayed out, talking, just the two of us. "This is the only time. After this I'm done with it."

"Why Kelly? is it because of what you said tonight?"

"Yes Johnny, I love you and I want to marry you, but I am a boy, not a girl and I don't want to hurt you again."

"I love you too Kelly, to me, you are all the girl that I need."

We shared a kiss, Then our passion ignited again and I felt him stiffen. We embraced and we sated our passion once again. I took him once again in my mouth and tasted his musky sweetness as I drank in his climax.

"You might be a boy under that dress, but you are still my dream girl. How can I ever hurt you? How could I ever deny my love for you?"['Kelly is the only one that I have ever made love to.]

"How can you say that you love me? I am not woman?"[LORD, Why could I not have been born a woman?]

"I don't know, all that I know is that I do. Believe me Kelly, I am as confused as you are my best friend." [What can be done to relieve our heartache?]

"Oh Johnny, if only I were a woman for you, then everything would be different!!" Then I ran home and slammed the door with Mom close behind me. We had made love each other, but I was not a real girl. I had given myself to him twice now and now I am confused and empty.

Momma came and hugged me to her,"Come sit here with me. We need to talk."

I sat, then Momma smiled at me. "Johnny is a handsome young man and you're a pretty young lady, that happens to be his best friend and a boy. He is attracted to you, and you to him. Do you want to be a girl?"[I already know, but Kelly needs to give voice to her deep desire now, more than ever if she is to be helped in time.]

"Yes I do Momma, more than anything!! But how can I be a girl?"

[She never heard about how boys look like girls. All that she's done is play at being a girl al this time.] "Then it is time that you go and live with your Aunt Debbie. Time for my daughter to leave the nest and fly away now."

"Why Momma? I wanna stay with you."

"You need her help. You know how to dress as a girl, but when it comes to Johnny, you lose control. That's not the way to act as you have around Johnny. And you and Johnny need time way from each other."['It's hard for me to send you away, but I must to protect you from yourself.]

"I know, every time I am alone with him, I lose myself. If I were a girl, I would be pregnant. And truth to tell, I want to get pregnant, even though I know that I can't" [LORD, will I ever be whole?]

"Your Aunt Debbie will help you. Good thing I called her before the dinner tonight." [Knowing her, she's on her way right now.]

"Does she know about me?"

"Yes, and she wants to help you to be a woman too. I will miss you, but Debbie can help you better than I can and she has our parents there to help too."[Come to think of it, Kelly will enjoy herself since she loves Daddy's farm.]

"We need to tell Johnny. I will miss him most of all."[Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking.]

"We will as soon as Debbie arrives."[ Debbie, take care of my most precious rose.]

"Don't I need to pack?"

"No, I packed all of your clothes as well as my old uniforms. Debbie will have fun shopping you too."[One thing and for sure, Kelly will give her shopping gene a real workout.]

Then the bell rang. "Let's go see who that is."

I opened the door and I saw a tall, strong woman standing there wearing a red sun dress and sandals. "Hello Kelly, come to your Aunt Debbie." Then she hugged me to her as I wept and soaked her dress with my tears of joy."I hear that you like a certain boy."

"Yes Auntie, I sniffed.[Had Momma told her everything?]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



My Aunt Debbie Annette Moore is a tall lithe gray eyed brunette. She owns/operates a dress shop over in the valley. She loves to collect rare books. She has a library of books sold by the public library that she loans out while keeping her collection of first edition in her room. I have spent many a weekend in her library with the twins as we delved into the stories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"Do you want to be a girl?"['Kelly is so like I was at his age.']

"Yes." [sniff] Yes, I do, but how can I be a girl? I was born a boy."

"There are two way, you can wear appliances that give you a woman's appearance or you can opt for surgery. In both, you can choose whether or not to use hormones to help you become a woman."

"Which should I choose Auntie?"

"I think that it's best to leave your options open, so I say choose appliances. You can always go with hormones and surgery later."

"Then I choose appliances. That way I can still be Kelly boy at times."

"Very well, I can teach you what you need to know about being a woman, but do not go into this lightly Kelly."['I must make sure that he is ready to be a girl.']

"Why Auntie?"

"You must forget about being a boy if you are to be a girl. Otherwise people will see you as a boy in a dress. Like they did me that Halloween night when I became who I am."['That is one nightmare I hope to keep from happening to you.']

"But they have seen me wearing a dress at Halloween Auntie and they never had a problem with it."'

"They saw Kelly, a boy in a dress, not a girl, like my friends did me. Besides, you have yet to live exclusively as Kelly girl. They can and will turn against you."['Like my FRIENDS did me!!']

"Oh."

Then the Woods came up. "Hello, I am Mister Charles Woods, This is my wife Andrea, daughter Julie and son Johnny. We're worried about Kelly."

"Come in Chuck, we have a lot to tell you." sobbed Momma. ['This is gonna be harder than I thought.']

Rushing over to Momma, Mrs. Woods hugged her close, "What's wrong my friend?"

"It's Kelly, come on to the kitchen where I have sodas ready."['It's going to be hard because they all love Kelly so much.']

Then Momma led us to the kitchen where we all sat down to a tall, cool glass of soda. "As you know, Kelly has been dressing as a girl every now and then. Now, Kelly and Johnny have fallen in love and Kelly is afraid of losing himself to Johnny as a girl."

Then Momma turned to Johnny."Johnny, I don't blame you, you are both responsible. I know that you love her and have had sex with Kelly.She needs to learn how to control herself or both of you can get hurt."['Like Debbie was.']

"I never wanted to hurt Kelly, but she is the girl of my dream."['I actually said that?']

"Then give her a chance to grow." ['I can see why Kelly loves him now.']

"Yes ma'am. Will she ever come back to me?"

"Is Kelly going away?" asked Julie. Why must Kelly leave me? I will miss my sister."

"Yes, I am taking Kelly with me so that she can learn how to be a lady."['Away from here, she can grow into the rose that my sister see in her.']

"But I have been teaching her all these years! Was I not good enough?"

"Be that as it may, I am going to teach her how to be herself and to be strong. You have indeed done a superb job, but Kelly now needs much more than you can teach her."['I truly wish that Kelly could stay, but leaving is unfortunately for the best.']

Then I went over to Johny, " I will miss you the most, but if I stay, I will lose myself in you," I wept as he held me to him.

"Then go my love with my blessings, he cried."He soaked my top with his tears as I drenched his with mine. But I needed to go or I would never learn to be strong.['How can I live without her, I want to know?!!']

"Come child, it is time to go."['This is the hardest part for you, letting go, but you must in order to grow.']

As we left, I saw everybody crying as we pulled away and left my former life behind. I slept on the way to Aunt Debbie's place. She had put on some orchestra music, then she played Bette Middler's The Rose and I awoke crying as it ended. " Yes my child, we are both "The Rose. "We have both been in our winter and now I will see that you blossom into your spring."

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