As the summer progressed. I felt that my time under psyche care was beneficial in many ways. First off; I was able to get a lot of my feelings within reason, sorted out. Secondly; my fears about my relationships with men were drawn to the surface by Sheila. I had a lot of issues that I needed to sort out, those just being a few. Others were of course , school, my ongoing transition, friendships, parents, my running away etc.

The later I will deal with at a later time (parents, running).Sheila and I spent a considerable amount of time discussing issues that meant a lot to my overall psyche'. One of them centered on my ongoing transition, I clearly stated, "I can not go back to that weak little scared boy of who always was the target of abuse. Melissa is here to stay! I have found a comfort and strength from within."

"So, you are no longer Glenn? If you want to, you can be Glenn, again."

"No, I am stronger for my attitude and I will not be pushed about.

She complimented me on that part of my personality, "Yes, as Melissa, you do have great strength. It was when you were attacked that Glenn returned, and he chose suicide, NOT you, Melissa.

"I feel that you are being critical of me as Melissa."

"No, in fact, Melissa, I respect you for choosing the path that you are now on."

I was released 3 weeks and 4 days after being admitted. I was relieved. I promised her tat I would continue to speak to her via phone and by appointment when I needed to talk about issues.

///

I eventually caught up with my missed school assignments that I failed to do because of my stupid act. A few weeks later, I completed them and prepared for my next full semester of school. I had completed a completed grade 9, part of the grade 10 courses. I made myself a continuous promise to complete school as soon as I could. The setback only made me more determined to succeed.

Thanks to Jenn, who continued to provide the necessary shelter to me? I also continued with my obligation to her for my assistance in living expenses. I was very lucky; my old job was waiting for me. When my boss heard about what had happened to me, he uses a temp agency until I got out.

Jenn was dating and working a fair amount at this time, too. Her home life was for all practical purposes, non-existent except for some nights and weekends. Those times that I was alone in the apartment, I managed to continue to hit the books and study hard.

'''''''''

September past to October which slid into November, then before we all knew it we were into December. The holiday scene that I avoided with a passion, Jenn went home to her family for each and every holiday. She did invite me as many times as she could, but I gracefully declined politely. She seemed to accept that from me. She knew from our talks why I declined her offer.

For me, holidays were not very pleasant; I was shut out of the traditional meal by being sent to my room. So the "traditional family" dinner was a hurtful experience for me. I always paid the penalty afterwards with the usual beatings and or rapes. To this very day, I prefer to spend each holiday season alone.

Hope shined on me right after the New Year, though. I was asked to attend a function with Sheila at her residence for pre-operative transsexuals. Me, I was giddy with joy. I was not exactly sure why I was invited, though. I saw myself as a girl, NOT as a transsexual. I accepted readily of course. The function was February 16th at 7:30: P.M. I was asked to dress semi casual. Well, for me semi casual meant short skirt and top with my navel showing.

I had to ask Jenn for advice and to go get something less revealing. I picked out a black knee length dress with long sleeves and gold trim about the neck and sleeves. I chose it because I could get away with wearing my 2 inch heels with the diamonds on the straps. The day arrived, and I went. Oh, what a night it was. I was introduced to several members of the medical community from doctors to psychologists to psychiatrists. To me, that was the best night I had. I will say this, though. When I arrived home, I had a firm commitment from a qualified psychologist who would see me.

His name was Doctor Raight (pronounced Right). He was an elderly Englishman of about 55 or so. We met several weeks after the party. We had an extensive chat, and well needless to say, there was at least a bit of hope for me. I told him how long I was in transition as he called it. I mentioned to him my background, and my current medical status. He seemed pleased, however, there was a drawback to his demeanor.

That was that I needed to live for at least 2 more years as a full time female and see him at least 6 more times within the 2 year time frame. I agreed. I had already been living full-time as a female and had acquired ID to state the same. Although it was an illegal ID. It surpassed the closest scrutiny. I was well on my way according to him to sexual reassignment. He mentioned to me that he had several long conversations with both my doctor and with Sheila. I was happy and kept my fingers crossed that no interference would invade that time frame. I was so wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Several months had passed and I had moved through midterm exams all of which I passed maintaining a B average. I let my guard down and met a guy by the name of Dennis. He was cute by my standards. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes that you could imagine, and was very tall. He stood over 6 feet 5 and very muscular. With dark brown hair, he was a sight to see. I made a fatal mistake with him, I negated to tell him about me and my past when it came up during conversations. The end result was he beat me pretty badly. I spent a few weeks in hospital and I had him charged with assault.

Summer approached then fall approached and then finally summer again, and I was going to be free from school. It will be three full years full time school. When it was all over I graduated with a B+ average, and made the honor roll. I was impressed.

Jenn and I celebrated my graduation with pizza with a small party at her place of work. I began to work at a small convenience store soon after I graduated. The hours were at night (actually graveyard) the 12 hour shift was 11 P.M. till11 A.M. I worked with one other lady, her name was Beth. She was short about 5 feet nothing and dark black hair and green eyes. She was a wonderful woman to work with.

I continually thought and hoped that my life would change for the better and it did for the next few years. During that time I was promoted to assistant manager of the store with Beth and enrolled in University. I definitely had the grades for it. I kept up with my appointments with Sheila and Dr. Raight. I decided to take in university administration courses. I was loaded down with a full slate.

I made a promise that I would do the same thing then as I did for when I was in high school; work hard and study. No party time for me. It worked too, as I received my Admin degree in the spring of 1988. Then I chose to study Political Science. I graduated in the spring of 1992 with a full Political Science degree. I was proud of my accomplishments. Jenn had moved away by that time and I had my own place. I paid $150 a month with utilities included. I traveled by bus to and from work.

Beth sold the store and I was out of a job, so I started looking. I eventually found a job in a national chain store, stocking shelves. That was where I met Jason. Yes the Jason whom earlier I mentioned. Well my life would be turned upside down in two ways after that year was being out. To my knowledge, I never realized how much my life would change.