Date: 25 Aug 2009 - 08:21 am Title: Chapter 24-Surgery
This is a wonderful story that is very well written and laid out, but (and maybe this is just me) I find the parenthetical thoughts really distracting and disruptive to the narrative.
I realize that is a stylistic criticism and I want you to know that the story itself is very well designed and told.
Author's Response:
I do thre thoughts that way in order to show the thoughts so that I can see them, and as my style.
Date: 02 Apr 2009 - 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 1- Good Bye Daddy
Moving. Very moving. I suspect subsequent Chapters wil not produce sodeep nor so mant emotions this onedoes. I.E. Love, joy,remorse, sorrow, hate, vindictiveness.
That is an awful ,ot in one short chapter but you handled it well and smoother them into one contiguous story line. Thanx for sharing.
Author's Response:
This story has it all in varying degrees throughout the story